0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Where do you go when you know Nobody can understand you?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much To handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What d'you do when you end up Somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Wash that stress out Like it was shampoo
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# You should stay It can change
0:00:21 > 0:00:23# There's good days And bad days
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line This time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock. #
0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Just hear those Sleigh bells jingling
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- # Ring-ding-a-ding-a-ling, too - Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a ding dong ding
0:00:45 > 0:00:48# It's lovely weather for A sleigh ride together with you
0:00:48 > 0:00:51# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:00:51 > 0:00:53# Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling you
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:00:55 > 0:00:59# Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you
0:00:59 > 0:01:01# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:01:01 > 0:01:04# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:01:04 > 0:01:06# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:01:06 > 0:01:09# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:01:13 > 0:01:17# Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy and cosy are we
0:01:17 > 0:01:19# Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# We'll snuggle up together like Two birds of a feather... #
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY - Christmas is cancelled.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27As are all celebrations of any kind.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Following the Project Zenith incident...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32we feel it isn't worth risking offence
0:01:32 > 0:01:35by favouring any one festival over another.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- I'm glad I'm not the one who's got to break that news to the kids. - Mr Harris.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Mr Bell would like you to announce it to the students.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- STUDENTS BOO - And so, December at Elmsbury will be
0:01:45 > 0:01:48an ordinary month with no celebrations of any kind.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50No Christmas? This place is well evil.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52It's like a flipping damage factory.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Scrooge! Scrooge!
0:01:56 > 0:01:59PUPILS ALL CHANT: Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge!
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge! Scrooge!
0:02:04 > 0:02:08I mean, even for a fish-bag like Bell, this is totally hairy.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12He can't do this. Christmas is literally the best thing ever.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14It's like Easter and my birthday had a baby,
0:02:14 > 0:02:16and it grew up to have magic powers.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Christmas should be special.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's a time to forget your worries, and do nice stuff for people.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23We should fight back. Launch a guerrilla campaign.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Why do you always talk about monkeys? What's that got to do with Christmas?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29He means we fight back in secret.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Yeah. They can't do this to us. We should take a stand.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Re-decorate the corridors with tinsel, holly...
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- ..And mistletoe!- Eurgh!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39We could play Christmas music over the school PA.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Cover the playground in fake snow.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Shove an elf in Bell's office. - Who's with me?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- EXCITED:- Yeah!- That'd be well good. - Yeah!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I am too... If anyone's interested.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50School is my one chance to go big over Christmas.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Mum doesn't like the mess.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Last year all I got was a briefcase and a whiteboard. NERVOUS CHUCKLE
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I say we fight back.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Ba-doink! See that, ladies and gentlemen, was Ryan becoming a man.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05You're being very quiet.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Yeah, I think you'll have to count me out of this one.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11- Get a load of this. The Christmas chicken's come early. - You mean Christmas turkey.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13You saying I'm a turkey? YOU'RE a turkey.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16You're a turkey stuffed with turkey eggs from Turkey.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Yeah, it is a real country. I saw it on a poster.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Look, I just can't afford to get in trouble all right about now.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Have you and Ryan swapped bodies? Is that what's going on here?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28No. My mum's promised me a mixing desk for Christmas.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32So I can't afford to put a foot wrong between now and the big day.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36You heard how disappointed the kids were when I told them
0:03:36 > 0:03:40we wouldn't be celebrating anything. They seem to think it's my fault.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Then they'll have to celebrate in private, like the rest of us.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45But, sir, we're not even singing Christmas carols.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48And singing might bring us together as a community
0:03:48 > 0:03:51..and stop me getting abused in the playground.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57You look full of the festive spirit.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Careful the Grinch doesn't catch you.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04Actually, the Grinch, Mr Bell, just agreed to let me write a song for the end-of-term assembly.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05I thought he'd banned all celebrations.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08The song can't include any specific faith.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10And the point of that is...?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13So it doesn't exclude or offend anyone.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Ooh, maybe I could write a song about New Year?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Is that the Christian New Year, or the Islamic New Year,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21or the Chinese New Year...?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23OK. I've made a massive mistake, haven't I?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Night, Dex.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Oh - Nathan! You nearly gave me a heart attack.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- I didn't think you were back till tomorrow.- Mel...
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Carter? What are you doing down there?
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Well... I was doing my shoelaces.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Well, do them up somewhere else.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42You're an ex-teacher. And you're a fire hazard.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Yeah, but... Mel...
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- Do you want to grab some dinner? - Yeah. I'm glad you're back.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Byron used to be a head teacher.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59There's no way he's working as a department store Father Christmas.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Yeah, but imagine if the rumour's true, though.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03That'd be better than chips.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05If it is Byron, can you ask him what he did
0:05:05 > 0:05:08with that calculator he took off me in year seven?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10That's the plan, Rudolph.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Look who it is... The Ghost of Christmas Chickening Out.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- What are you doing here? - Just looking at some presents.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17I saw this really nice mixing desk earlier.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21We're off to go and see Santa. Do you want to come?
0:05:21 > 0:05:26Sitting on some old guy's knee ain't exactly my idea of a good time.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Trust me - you're going to want to see this.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38You're sure it's Bogoff?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Ash seems pretty confident. Says he heard it from a dinner lady.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48And then I need a replacement controller because I had a nightmare
0:05:48 > 0:05:51and threw my other one at the cat in my sleep and it broke, so, err...
0:05:51 > 0:05:56DVD box set of America's Craziest Monkeys, and a kazoo...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- How old did you say you were again? - Eight.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13What are you two doing here? Aren't you a bit big for Father Christmas?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Ash is in there. Apparently they got Bogoff to be their Santa.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- Who's Bogoff? - Our old headmaster.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20How can your old headmaster be Father Christmas?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- They always hire old... - Josh, shut-up.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Well, the real Father Christmas has helpers doesn't he, Josh?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Yes! Thank you, Ryan. That's who's in there.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31It's almost as good as meeting the real thing.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34You told us we were meeting the real Father Christmas.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- It is the real one. - Why did you say it wasn't?
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Because...
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Father Christmas is actually sick.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45- Is he going to die? - No. No. It's not like that.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47He just threw up in his beard.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Santa's sick?! Santa's sick!
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- Oh brilliant.- Thanks a lot, Josh. Some treat this has turned out to be.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Oh, come on... - Watch out!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59CRASH!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05It's not him, lads.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- Joshua! - HE SIGHS
0:07:16 > 0:07:20- My arms hurt.- I said you had to carry those without complaining.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23It's the least you can do for Agness after what happened.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Don't worry, Mrs Carter. It'll take more than Josh to ruin Christmas.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32- Oh, no.- Stay here. - What's happened?- Nothing. Just stay.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Agness, don't... Agness, no!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, no!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Oh, love!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44They even took the tree.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49I don't want Louis, Marcia or Sidney to find out about this.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Swear to me, Josh, you won't tell anyone until I am ready.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01# Now I'm a bit confused Why wouldn't you want to share
0:08:01 > 0:08:03# This particular news?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05# When everybody knows How hard she's had it
0:08:05 > 0:08:07# Why not get the sympathy That you need?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09# Don't understand it Cos Agness
0:08:09 > 0:08:11# She's been up against it For a while
0:08:11 > 0:08:14# Raising each sibling Like a mother with a child
0:08:14 > 0:08:16# Now they've lost everything
0:08:16 > 0:08:17# It's just tragic
0:08:17 > 0:08:20# Kinda snuffed out Any Christmas magic
0:08:20 > 0:08:23# And now the fact that it happened She won't even mention?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25# I'd be milking every bit of Generous attention
0:08:25 > 0:08:28# Like my broken ankle Healed in six weeks but
0:08:28 > 0:08:31# I had Mum and Nathan serving me for three months
0:08:31 > 0:08:34# There I was, injured Thinking what a pain this'd be
0:08:34 > 0:08:37# But it was great they waited on me hand and foot - literally!
0:08:37 > 0:08:40# If I was Agness I'd tell anyone Who'd listen
0:08:40 > 0:08:43# Maybe I should tell on her behalf With no permission?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45# Maybe... Hmm, but then On second thoughts
0:08:45 > 0:08:49# Someone else's decision Wrong or right, is never yours
0:08:49 > 0:08:51# Fact is, Agness wants it To be a secret
0:08:51 > 0:08:54# I gotta respect that choice And try and keep it
0:08:54 > 0:08:57# Nah - this ain't my one to call
0:08:57 > 0:09:00# This one is bigger than me And that's all
0:09:00 > 0:09:03# So don't tell anyone Don't tell anyone
0:09:03 > 0:09:06# Don't tell anyone Don't tell anyone
0:09:06 > 0:09:08# Nah - this ain't my one to call
0:09:08 > 0:09:11# This one is bigger than me And that's all
0:09:11 > 0:09:14# So don't tell anyone Don't tell anyone
0:09:14 > 0:09:17# Don't tell anyone Don't tell anyone. #
0:09:20 > 0:09:24What's heart of palm? It says "heart of palm salad".
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I've never even heard of heart of palm. What are you having?
0:09:26 > 0:09:30- I dunno. Steak. - Do I want steak?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33I don't know. Look, Mel, can I just...
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- Nathan, are you OK? - Yeah... No... I'm fine.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39I erm...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Mel... OK.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oh my flipping flip-flop shop! Mr Carter!
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Hey, Zoe-Marie. - What are you two doing here?
0:09:53 > 0:09:58Well, we just came out for a private meal together.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00That's what we're doing! Me, Mum and Dad and Deano.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Hiya, babe, you all right? Hiya, you all right?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05I wanted to go to go to Peri Nice Chicken,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07but they were like, "Too spicy. Grandma won't like it".
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Then Grandma's cat swallowed a key, but we still had to come to this dive.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14And the sauce comes in mild, hot, and blow your flipping mouth off.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16It's, like, totally ruining my life. So, how are you?
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Agness' mum was at the hospital having a check-up when it happened.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Poor Agness. She doesn't need that on top of everything else.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28There we go. Lock's all sorted.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Now that I'm moving out, I want to be sure you're both safe.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32SHE GASPS
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Oh, Dexter. I'm going to miss you.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38And I'm finally going to get my room back.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41We've had fun, haven't we?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43That's one word for it.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Come here, man.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Well... This is it. Bye, then.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Good luck in your new place, Dex.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16See you at school tomorrow.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Oh, I'm making lasagne if you want some after work.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Ooh, lovely!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24And I'm finally getting my room all back to myself.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Hello! Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Hello, bruv.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Nathan! I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow!
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Well, wanted it to be a surprise didn't I?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Plus, I couldn't wait to share a room with my little brother again.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43Eh? Hmm? Huh?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Well, nice to see you, too(!)
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Are you ready?- Ready.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Bingo.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13SONG: 'Merry Christmas Everybody' by Slade
0:12:13 > 0:12:17# Are you hanging up Your stockings on your wall?
0:12:17 > 0:12:22# It's the time that every Santa has a ball
0:12:25 > 0:12:28# So here it is merry Christmas...#
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I've looked, Zoe-Marie and it's not here.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34You better check lost property cos I am certain it's there,
0:12:34 > 0:12:36cos Shelby Turner saw this kid in year eight hand it in,
0:12:36 > 0:12:39so have a look right now and hand it over. You have definitely got it,
0:12:39 > 0:12:42so stop trying to keep it for yourself, you flippin' tea leaf!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46No. Wrong.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Completely wrong. - You don't like any of it?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52It's not a question of like, Mr Harris.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Sir, I was up half the night writing those lyrics.
0:12:55 > 0:13:01"Snow, snowmen" - no. "Feasting" - I don't think so.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05"Twinkling lights" - no. "Holly" - no, no, no.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Here, sing this.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Sir, this doesn't make sense any more.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13"The year... of things...
0:13:13 > 0:13:16"When things happen... During the time of... however..."
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Well, you're the music teacher. Make it work.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Yes, sir.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Also, I've got the school governors coming to the assembly on Friday.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30And I can't risk them, or anyone else, being offended.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33DISTANT MUSIC FROM PA SYSTEM
0:13:36 > 0:13:38CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS ON PA SYSTEM
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Did you do this?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Did you do this? Stop looking at them!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Stop looking at the Christmas things!
0:13:45 > 0:13:47# Ding Dong...! #
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Wasn't me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I want it all cleaned up. Every last bit.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00And somebody turn off this music off!
0:14:01 > 0:14:06Don't add to my problems. Right! Out of my way...
0:14:06 > 0:14:09No to Christmas!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12No! What are you looking at?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Stop enjoying Christmas!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Good work, team.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I lost my mask! What if Bell traces it back to us?
0:14:19 > 0:14:20My DNA is all over it.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24This is why I shouldn't get involved. I'm not cut out for mischief.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- Chill out, you big yellow Henry. - MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Ding Dong's onto us. What do we do now?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31We keep going.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- Yeah. Put up decorations faster than he can take them down.- Hey...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Don't think you can come over and surf on our success.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I just came to say well done, all right?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41I just saw Bell flipping his nut over a Christmas tree so...
0:14:41 > 0:14:43You were meant to help put the banner up.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I don't want to be a part of this any more.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- It's like a chicken farm round here. - I'm not chickening out.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- So why aren't you going to help us? - Haven't you heard?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Christmas is cancelled.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Sometimes Christmas stresses people out.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01# And I'm the only one that knows
0:15:01 > 0:15:04# The truth with Agness I wonder if it shows?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06# I wish that I could tell The others
0:15:06 > 0:15:08# But I made a promise to her to be true
0:15:08 > 0:15:09# I gotta keep it undercover
0:15:09 > 0:15:12# And what bugs me About that is I can tell
0:15:12 > 0:15:15# If I'm the only one who knows I'm the only one who can help
0:15:15 > 0:15:18# And I don't want to get her Feelings hurt ever
0:15:18 > 0:15:21# But one thing's for sure They all deserve better
0:15:21 > 0:15:23# And that's not my only problem
0:15:23 > 0:15:25# Got my best friends Fighting for Christmas
0:15:25 > 0:15:27# And Bell tryin' to stop 'em
0:15:27 > 0:15:30# But with the chance of my dream Gift coming so soon, though
0:15:30 > 0:15:32# I'm only looking out For numero uno
0:15:32 > 0:15:35# Maybe in December That's the wrong way to be living
0:15:35 > 0:15:38# After all, 'tis the season That's about giving
0:15:38 > 0:15:41# And what am I giving To the ones who mean the most?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44# Not much, matter of fact I've been a joke!
0:15:44 > 0:15:45# What kind of friend am I?
0:15:45 > 0:15:49# Standing by watching my best mates All heroically try
0:15:49 > 0:15:52# To bring a bit of festive cheer You know what?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55# It's the best bit of the year And I've SO got
0:15:55 > 0:15:58# To save Christmas Forget plans for me
0:15:58 > 0:16:00# Save it for Agness and her family
0:16:00 > 0:16:03# Save it for all the kids In my clique
0:16:03 > 0:16:07# Just, just, yeah, that's it! Save Christmas!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# Save Christmas Forget plans for me
0:16:10 > 0:16:12# Save it for Agness and her family
0:16:12 > 0:16:15# Save it for all the kids In my clique
0:16:15 > 0:16:18# Just, just, yeah, that's it! Save Christmas! #
0:16:26 > 0:16:30OK, I've just written a new set of lyrics. I've highlighted your verses.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33Let me play it through first.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Thanks, guys for volunteering for this, it means a lot.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Here we go.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40HALTING PIANO AND STILTED LYRICS # Lemme tell you bout December
0:16:40 > 0:16:43# It comes from the Roman word "Decem," meaning ten!
0:16:43 > 0:16:46# Cos there were only ten months In a Roman year
0:16:46 > 0:16:48# Before they added two more
0:16:48 > 0:16:50# The Anglo Saxons called it "Yule Monath"
0:16:50 > 0:16:52# Cos that was the time You'd burn a yule log off
0:16:52 > 0:16:55# So many things happen In December
0:16:55 > 0:16:58# Partly why it's such A month to remember!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00# It's the darkest month If you're at the North
0:17:00 > 0:17:03# But if you're southern hemisphere Then it's sunny and warm
0:17:03 > 0:17:06# These are some fascinating Ups and downs Of December
0:17:06 > 0:17:07# I wish we had it all year round
0:17:07 > 0:17:10# December, yeah It's after November
0:17:10 > 0:17:13# Oooh, December
0:17:13 > 0:17:15# Yeah, sounds a bit like September
0:17:15 > 0:17:18# But it's not, it's December. #
0:17:19 > 0:17:22What do you think?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26It's going to be a disaster. I need help.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Its fine, sir. You don't have to change a thing. It's perfect.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Well, it was all right.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Whatever he comes up with, we'll write our own lyrics.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43We'll write the most Christmassy Christmas song that's ever Christmassed.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45And that's what we'll really sing in assembly.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- Hey.- What do you want?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55OK... This is kind of embarrassing, but...
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Look, if you're going to ask me out...
0:17:57 > 0:18:00No. Look, Agness, I was just throwing some stuff out,
0:18:00 > 0:18:02and I thought you might like it for you,
0:18:02 > 0:18:05your brothers and sister seen as you have nothing to open.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08There's not much in there.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Just a baseball cap, some action figures, a board game,
0:18:11 > 0:18:15even my mum's old Spanish toilet roll doll.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- You didn't have to do this. - Come on, man...
0:18:18 > 0:18:19It was the least I could do,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21especially after you guys had your presents stolen.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Our presents were stolen? - When were our presents stolen?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- You idiot, Josh!- Agness, I thought you'd have told them by now.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Will you leave us alone, and stop ruining what's left of our Christmas?
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- I was just trying to help. - I don't need your help, and I don't need your junk.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Hey! This isn't junk, man.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41This is not junk! This hat cost me 25 quid.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46..When it was new.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54I was just trying to help, man, and I fell like I just made everything worse.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Yeah, well... It sucks when you're trying to do the right thing,
0:18:58 > 0:18:59and it doesn't get appreciated.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03How many times did Byron flip his nut when I started running the 4 O'Clock Club?
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Yeah, but bruv, at the start you had no idea what you were doing.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10You were flapping around like a pigeon in a bread bin.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13The point is, if you start out meaning well,
0:19:13 > 0:19:17then it's always going to end well. Most of the time.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Well, I hope you're right.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22What is this, anyway? Arts and crafts hour?
0:19:22 > 0:19:26It's a Christmas cracker. It's a special present. For a special person.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Oh! For me?!
0:19:29 > 0:19:30For Mel.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Bruv, is that a ring?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Are you proposing to Miss Poppy?
0:19:37 > 0:19:41- Look, do not say a word. OK? - Bruv, that's amazing!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45I'm just waiting for the right moment.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49You know, I want it to feel really magical.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56With that?
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- Maybe I should try something else. - Mmm.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Mashed potato powder. What's that for?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- Ash!- Let it snow!
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I don't want people thinking I've got dandruff.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19There's already a rumour going around that I'm scared of dolphins.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21But you are scared of dolphins.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Yeah, because... It's that sound they make.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28And the fact they always look like they're smiling at you. It's creepy.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30You got to tell them. They've written words for the song.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- What? Why have you done that? - I thought we were all doing it.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35No. I'm meant to be writing the words, tinsel troll!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Ash said WE were writing new Christmas lyrics. We - all of us.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42And by "we" I meant "me", obviously. Have you read these?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44They're absolutely wicked.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49"Christmas it is really ace.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51"We're shoving our Christmas in your face..."
0:20:51 > 0:20:56Oi! You can't do that! I spent 20 minutes on them!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- You can't do that, you ghost of Christmas cuss!- Can, and did.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01We don't need a Christmas song that disses Shelby Turner every line.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Dissing Shelby Turner is well Christmassy!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06What is the meaning of this fracas?!
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I see.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15And how very predictable.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24What's wrong with you guys, man?
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Bell busted us. Christmas is cancelled.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29My mum's going to ground me until next Christmas.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Too bad.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I was really looking forward to seeing Bell explode, you know?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Would've been the best Christmas present ever.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Thank you, everyone.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52And welcome to the last assembly of term.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55To mark the December break, and nothing more,
0:21:55 > 0:21:58we have a little treat for you.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Dexter Harris?
0:22:00 > 0:22:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Thanks. This is just a little something I put together
0:22:07 > 0:22:09with an old friend.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15I think you might know him.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20HE PLAYS BASSLINE
0:22:20 > 0:22:22PUPILS CLAP IN TIME
0:22:25 > 0:22:28PIANO STARTS
0:22:28 > 0:22:32CHEERING
0:22:34 > 0:22:40- # You know it's that time of year - Christmas extravaganza!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42# That you want all your friends and family near
0:22:42 > 0:22:44# Matunda ya Kwanzaa!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47- # Whatever you believe - Hanukkah, Ramadan
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- # Your culture or your creed - Feliz Navidad!
0:22:49 > 0:22:53# It's all about being Together, together, together
0:22:53 > 0:22:56# Yep, I'm including everyone Spreading goodwill to men and women
0:22:56 > 0:22:59# It ain't never done we should Do it all year round but it's nice
0:22:59 > 0:23:01# To have a couple weeks In the winter to remind us
0:23:01 > 0:23:04# Kindness should always be something that we celebrate
0:23:04 > 0:23:07# Tell a mate to tell a mate Never mind whatever faith
0:23:07 > 0:23:11# Be it Muslim, Jewish, Rastafarian Hindu, Pagan, Buddhist, vegetarian
0:23:11 > 0:23:13# Maybe you pray to Mother Nature to get by
0:23:13 > 0:23:15# Maybe you believe in The force of the Jedi
0:23:15 > 0:23:17# This is a time for giving And receiving
0:23:17 > 0:23:19# Even if you have Nothing to believe in
0:23:19 > 0:23:22# It's still precious Nobody should damage this
0:23:22 > 0:23:25# Not even heads of Educational establishments
0:23:25 > 0:23:27# Get your jingle bells Wave 'em in the sky
0:23:27 > 0:23:29# And Ding Dong - Try being merrily on high
0:23:29 > 0:23:34- # You know it's that time of year - Christmas extravaganza!
0:23:34 > 0:23:37# That you want all your Friends and family near
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- # Matunda ya Kwanzaa! - Whatever you believe
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- # Hanukkah, Ramadan - Your culture or your creed
0:23:43 > 0:23:44# Feliz Navidad!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47# It's all about being Together, together, together
0:23:47 > 0:23:51- # You know it's that time of year - It's Christmas again!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54# That you want all your Friends and family near
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- # Joyeux Noel if you're French - Whatever you believe
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- # You ain't gotta eat turkey - Your culture or your creed
0:24:00 > 0:24:01# If it's offensive to birdies
0:24:01 > 0:24:04# It's all about being Together, together, together. #
0:24:06 > 0:24:12- Dexter Harris, ladies and gents! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:12 > 0:24:16HE PLAYS FINAL FLOURISH ON PIANO
0:24:22 > 0:24:27That's beautiful. Sorry for hijacking your assembly.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32I know I don't really belong at Elmsbury any more.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- He doesn't!- But, erm...
0:24:34 > 0:24:38So much has happened to me here, I just thought that...
0:24:38 > 0:24:43Well, basically I thought I could only do this
0:24:43 > 0:24:47in front of all of you. So erm...
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- HE CLEARS THROAT - Mel...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55..will you marry me?
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Yes! Of course I will. Yes!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Sorry about that, mate -
0:25:11 > 0:25:13you're going to have two teachers in the family now.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19OK, look I'm about to tell you a secret
0:25:19 > 0:25:22that I promised I wouldn't tell.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Josh! You can't break a promise. - Course he can!
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Look, out Christmas is back on, but there's still one friend
0:25:29 > 0:25:31who needs their Christmas saving.
0:25:31 > 0:25:37Happy Christmas! Oh, more dolls!
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I love it. Thank you very much.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Oh, my days!- Is it the right one?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- DOORBELL - Who's that on Christmas morning?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- I won't be long.- Hang on. Hang on. Where are you going?
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Some secret stuff. Thanks for my presents, though, yeah?
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- Joshua!- Love ya! Bye.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- It's Christmas morning! - I know. That kid...
0:25:59 > 0:26:04TV: # We all do love Christmas No doubt about that... #
0:26:04 > 0:26:05KNOCK AT DOOR
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Agness? Agness? Come to the door, man,
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- I know you're there. Agness! - KNOCKING CONTINUES
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Merry Christmas, Agness! Merry Christmas, Louis and Marcia.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26How come I had to wear the child-sized costume!?
0:26:26 > 0:26:30It's Christmas, Ryan. Don't be so elfish.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Get it? It's like SELFISH. But he's an ELF!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36- SANTA:- Merry Christmas, everybody!
0:26:39 > 0:26:43I knew he would never forget us.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46The caretaker went a bit overboard on that costume.
0:26:46 > 0:26:47And this one's for you, Louis.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- CAR HORN BEEPS - I think you'll find this is just what you wanted.
0:26:56 > 0:27:01Sorry I'm late. Overslept. Can't leave till I've had my bacon roll.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05- Have you got the thing you promised? - Yeah, but...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07My nephew is going to love this thing.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11- There's been a slight change of plan.- Whoa! Deal's a deal.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14I dress up as Father Christmas for your friend,
0:27:14 > 0:27:16and you'd give me this thing for my nephew.
0:27:16 > 0:27:21- SANTA:- Ho ho ho! - Yeah, but if you're here,
0:27:21 > 0:27:25then who's that handing out presents over there?
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- SANTA:- Merry Christmas, everybody! Ho ho ho!
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Thanks, Santa!
0:27:45 > 0:27:48# You know it's that time of year
0:27:48 > 0:27:53# That you want all your Friends and family near
0:27:53 > 0:27:57# Whatever you believe Your culture or your creed
0:27:57 > 0:28:03# It's all about being Together, together, together. #