0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #
0:00:30 > 0:00:31But I just bought the tickets!
0:00:31 > 0:00:34So sell them. I'm sure you'll get your money back.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38You going to have that sausage?
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Look, Mum, this is Hy-Q!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42OK? THE Hy-Q.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44It's the only UK show he's doing.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46The tickets sold out in like a day,
0:00:46 > 0:00:47it's going to be the gig of a lifetime.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Well then I'm sure you'll get a good price for them, eh?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53I'll have 'em.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54And you're not going either!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Listen, you're not going to some huge arena concert on your own.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59That's final.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02I'm not going on my own, actually.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I...asked Rachel.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09ALL: Ooh!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Oi!
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Well, you'll have to un-ask her.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Listen, the only way that you're going to a concert
0:01:15 > 0:01:17is if you go with an adult.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19An adult?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21What adult, Mum?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23All set for a fun day's learning...?
0:01:27 > 0:01:29No. Nah.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30No, come on.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31What?
0:01:31 > 0:01:33So I am going to a Hy-Q gig with a teacher.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35What am I supposed to tell Rachel?
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Maybe it's for the best. You always let her down anyway.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I do not.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41When you gave her a CD full of bum photos.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43And lured her into the bogs for that made-up radio show.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46And sang her that romantic song that set all the fire alarms off.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Yeah, all right! I get the point.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49But I'm not going to let her down time.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Except you haven't got her ticket.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Yeah... She hasn't said yes yet, has she?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Bit of luck, she'll be busy.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57She won't be busy. You'll let her down.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Just guessing.- Listen, Josh, you know that gig you invited me to...?
0:02:00 > 0:02:01- The thing is I...- You can't go?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03That's fine, I understand.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04- Maybe next...- No, no, I can go.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07But I have to be home by midnight. That'll be OK, won't it?
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Yeah! Yeah, of course...
0:02:08 > 0:02:10You still want to go, yeah?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12What? Yeah... Yeah, definitely.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15He's definitely got the tickets, you know. Everything's sorted.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Thanks, mate.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Great. Well, I'll see you Friday, then.- Can't wait!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Shut up.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24OK, I'll just get hold of another ticket.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25How hard can it be?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29You can't feed a chicken toast.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Course you can. Ducks eat bread.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34So?
0:02:34 > 0:02:39SO, chickens are, like, ducks that've evolved to live in cages...
0:02:39 > 0:02:40ain't they?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Toast! Nice.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44I thought you wouldn't remember.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Why have you done that?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50I'm skipping lunch, ain't I? Saving my money to go see Hy-Q.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I got the inside track on a ticket.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Oi, that's my toast!
0:02:59 > 0:03:01300 quid for a ticket!?
0:03:01 > 0:03:03look, I know its Hy-Q, but...
0:03:03 > 0:03:05But, listen...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07OK, thanks. Yeah, bye.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Prices nowadays, man, they're going through the roof.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Have you asked Natalie?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13No, I haven't asked spoddy Natalie. Why would I?
0:03:13 > 0:03:14BELL RINGS
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Natalie, would you like some more Blu-Tack?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Yeah, all right.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22And by the way, yes, I do have a ticket.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24My uncle bought it for me.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26It's a young person's thing and he...
0:03:26 > 0:03:27..didn't realise that you're an old person
0:03:27 > 0:03:30trapped inside a young person's body.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I was kidding!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34You know, Natalie, erm...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37I've always thought that you're well more fun
0:03:37 > 0:03:38than people say you are...
0:03:38 > 0:03:43and I was thinking I'd really like to join your Geology Club.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yeah, I really like...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47rocks.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Well, you can't buy it, cos I've promised it to Nero.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51You're JOKING me!
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Look, look, look...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56You said that you PROMISED it to Nero,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59meaning you haven't actually sold it to him yet, right?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Yeah, well, he said he'll have the money by Friday lunchtime.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Believe you me, Nero doesn't have that type of money.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Then you've got nothing to worry about have you?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09You can have the ticket when Nero doesn't pay up.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10However...
0:04:10 > 0:04:11I have the money right now.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15And I've given my word to Nero, so you'll just have to wait.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20What is that on my pizza?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Meatballs.- You what?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Balls. Made of meat.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26That is disgustin'. I'm, like, totally vegetarian,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28apart from fish, chicken and those little sausages things.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Then maybe you should've had the vegetarian option.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32I ain't eating that muck!
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Pizza, please.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38You know, you look like you're struggling.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- I could come round and help if you like.- Next!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42How long did you cook this quiche for?
0:04:42 > 0:04:44It doesn't seem to be holding together very well.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I know how it feels.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Stop poking it! Do you want some, or not?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53As I thought. The base is soggy.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Did you blind bake your pastry first? I bet you didn't.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Classic mistake. - Move up will ya? I'm starving.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00One minute.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Can I show you something I just made in Food Tech?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Can you make your mind up about what you want for dinner?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Now THIS is a quiche.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Double cream and creme fraiche, that's the secret.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13But not too much or it does get a little bland.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Oi, MasterChef!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Shove up!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Do you mind? I'm taking this to Scouts for my Chef's badge!
0:05:19 > 0:05:22CLATTERING What are you doin'?! Come on!
0:05:22 > 0:05:23Pizza, please.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Thank you!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Eurgh! What's that on your toast?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I dunno. It's like...
0:05:34 > 0:05:36It's like feathers or something...
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Is that peck marks?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Maybe I should have eaten MY quiche.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I'm not wholly convinced about this pizza. Are you?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Is this dough that's been allowed to rise for the full hour?
0:05:51 > 0:05:52I think not.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55You see, the problem with yeast is it's a very temperamental thing,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58because you have to get the yeast/salt ratio just right...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- VOICE ECHOES:- ..especially when you're mixing it with water.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02STOMACH RUMBLES
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Oh, man...
0:06:07 > 0:06:08# I'm so hungry
0:06:08 > 0:06:10# There's a demon in my tummy and he don't love me
0:06:10 > 0:06:12# Wants me to put a quiche baked, in the hole
0:06:12 > 0:06:15# He's possessing me I can feel him taking control... #
0:06:15 > 0:06:17EVIL LAUGHTER
0:06:17 > 0:06:20# Mmm, me wants a piece of that pie
0:06:20 > 0:06:23# Put out your hands and reach a fat slice
0:06:23 > 0:06:25# One little nibble won't hurt no-one
0:06:25 > 0:06:27# Precious little quiche Grab it, grab it, go on!
0:06:27 > 0:06:29# Whoa, whoa, whoa I don't like where this is going
0:06:29 > 0:06:31# That slice ain't mine It belongs to Owen
0:06:31 > 0:06:33# And it's the most special slice of quiche he ever had
0:06:33 > 0:06:35# It's a Scout thing gonna help him get a badge
0:06:35 > 0:06:37# Tricksy badge, we can't eats that
0:06:37 > 0:06:39# We need carbs, wheat, protein, fat
0:06:39 > 0:06:41# Just one nice slice for you, me
0:06:41 > 0:06:44# He don't care He can make new quiche
0:06:44 > 0:06:46# Oh, no, this ain't right
0:06:46 > 0:06:48# Owen is a mate and mates stay tight
0:06:48 > 0:06:49# Sorry, tummy, I just can't do it
0:06:49 > 0:06:52# It would hurt Owen and I can't put him through it
0:06:52 > 0:06:53# Don't be so stupid
0:06:53 > 0:06:54# This is about need, not greed
0:06:54 > 0:06:56# What happens when a person doesn't eat?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58# Yeah, you starve so that's not funny
0:06:58 > 0:07:00# And when you're dead, what you gonna do with all your money?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02# But I've saved loads and I'm so, so close
0:07:02 > 0:07:04# And I've never seen one of Hy-Q's shows
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# I promise you, Sunday nice big roast
0:07:06 > 0:07:09# Fine, then, just go back to your chicken toast. #
0:07:10 > 0:07:12..cos you have to get the yeast/salt ratio just right,
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- especially when you are mixing it with water.- I don't care.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16I'm hungry.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26No!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28I can't believe you ate my quiche!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Half your quiche.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31OK, sorry.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Skipping lunch was really getting to me.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Can you just make another quiche? I'll help you.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37No, I can't just magic up another quiche!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39I haven't got any eggs, for starters.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Are you going to buy me some eggs?!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Ah, man, you know how much I really want to help you.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I just gotta save my money, that was the whole point, remember.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Fine.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Well, thanks for your "help".
0:07:50 > 0:07:51I know where you can get eggs.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58Chickens? Why would they have eggs?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Do they eat them?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02They poo them out of their bums.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Eurgh! I ain't eatin' no chicken poo quiche.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07No-one's going to eat a poo quiche.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13It's padlocked, anyway.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Can't you just pick the lock or summat?
0:08:15 > 0:08:16How would I do that?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19I don't know. Haven't you got a badge or summat for it?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Funnily enough, the Scouts don't give a badge for lock picking.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Or one for safe-cracking. Or hot-wiring cars.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29They need to move with the times.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31OK.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34We can't get in, anyway. So that's that.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38You sure about that?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Obviously we understand your complaints.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Nobody wants to deal with rude and undisciplined students.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Least of all us.- Well, yes - but...
0:08:48 > 0:08:54My advice would be to find that calm stillness inside yourself.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Imagine yourself...
0:08:56 > 0:08:58to be a mountain stream
0:08:58 > 0:09:01tinkling over tiny little fish.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05And then breathe.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11A little fish...
0:09:13 > 0:09:15BELL RINGS
0:09:15 > 0:09:18How many quiches do you think I want to make!?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I dunno what goes on in your head.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Come on!
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Careful!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33You four!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Stop right there.- Oh!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Mr Bell. What a very stylish suit you've got there.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39How can I help you?
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Aside from transferring to a different school, Johnson?
0:09:41 > 0:09:44You can start by explaining why you're all sneaking around
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- during lesson time. - Oh, we wasn't sneaking around, sir.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Really? How would you describe it?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Er... Running away.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55Well you weren't quick enough. Detention.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58And if I catch any of you around here again, I'll...
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Where are the chickens...?!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07CHICKENS CLUCK Go on, shoo!
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Go on!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Come on!
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Come here!
0:10:17 > 0:10:18What's this...?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21A packed lunch.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23The dinner ladies are on strike
0:10:23 > 0:10:26after somebody released chickens into the kitchen.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28That was a terrible, terrible accident.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30And you're lucky they managed to catch most of them,
0:10:30 > 0:10:32otherwise you'd be in a lot more trouble, young man.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34So, where's my dinner money?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- You don't need dinner money, you've got a packed lunch.- But...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39What if I needed to get something from the shops at lunch time?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I'd kinda need money then, right?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Nero, what you have got in there is more than enough.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Cuss.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53What's twisted your trolleys?
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Oh! Unless...
0:10:56 > 0:10:59THAT's how you were going to afford Natalie's ticket, right?
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Skipping your lunch.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02What do you know about Natalie's ticket?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I know that I'm definitely having it now, coz.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06But she promised it me!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09How are you going to pay for it with no lunch money?
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Enjoy the sandwiches, coz.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14# Well, that's great
0:11:14 > 0:11:16# How am I supposed to get my plan straight?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19# With a bunch of future nuggets on the rampage
0:11:19 > 0:11:21# Now I guess I gotta worry about a chicken
0:11:21 > 0:11:23# While Josh has gone and got all of his money for the ticket
0:11:23 > 0:11:24# Man I need cash!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26# And I need it fast!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# Wish I had a bunch of big investors I was free to ask
0:11:28 > 0:11:31# To put some dough into one of my brilliant ideas like...
0:11:31 > 0:11:33# Like...this right here!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35# I get famous and auction off my nail clippings!
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- AS DUNCAN BANNATYNE: - # If you were famous
0:11:37 > 0:11:39# Wouldn't you already have millions?
0:11:39 > 0:11:42# OK, I got more maybe one of these works...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44# Selling Eli to medical research?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47# Think about what you could learn about the brain
0:11:47 > 0:11:49# From a specimen where very little is contained
0:11:49 > 0:11:52# Or I could rent myself out as a Best Buddy
0:11:52 > 0:11:54# For only £80 an hour if you're lucky
0:11:54 > 0:11:57# OK, say you've got some cash and someone wants to rob it
0:11:57 > 0:11:58# Swallow it and run with this...
0:11:58 > 0:11:59# Edible wallet
0:11:59 > 0:12:00# No?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02# OK, I get it, it isn't cool
0:12:02 > 0:12:06# Right, how about this portable swimming pool?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08# Fill your car boot with water and chlorine and...
0:12:08 > 0:12:10# Right, OK, forget it You're mean
0:12:10 > 0:12:12# Look, you're a nice guy I like what you're about
0:12:12 > 0:12:15# But it's just not a business and for that reason I'm out
0:12:15 > 0:12:17# Ahh! The sweet smell of success
0:12:17 > 0:12:19# Of something beautiful that you've created
0:12:19 > 0:12:20# It's the best
0:12:20 > 0:12:23# Yes, it IS big and yes, it IS clever!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25# Yeeeesss! It's the best quiche ever!
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- ALL:- Yeurgh! Never gets any better!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30# The food here sucks - no matter the weather!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33# What, cos we're bad the food can't be good?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36# Every dish is like mud, cardboard and wood!
0:12:36 > 0:12:37# Wait!
0:12:37 > 0:12:38# Oh my days - of course!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41# The money's right here I'll go straight to the source!
0:12:41 > 0:12:43# Where there's demand there's gotta be supply!
0:12:43 > 0:12:44# You know what?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46# I'm starting to like this guy! #
0:12:46 > 0:12:47I'm in!
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Yo, Owen, giz a slice of that quiche.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55No way! Make your own.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57We both know that ain't going to happen.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59No! This is for my Scout badge. You're not having any.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It ain't for me!
0:13:01 > 0:13:05Look around, what do you see...? A bunch of hungry, disappointed kids.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09And you know what they'd like to buy...?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- No.- Come on, Owen. You can't keep genius like that to yourself.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I'm not going to. I'm going to take it to Scouts.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Owen, mate. It ain't for me.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17It's for us.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I got the brains, you got the quiche.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20Let's make a lot of money.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23How much money...?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Let's find out...
0:13:28 > 0:13:32Hey guys, who wants to buy a slice of the best quiche ever...?
0:13:34 > 0:13:35A pound a slice?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- Hey, Rach.- Hey, Josh.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Er... We're still on for Friday, yeah?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Right, OK.- You know, cos we were always on - we weren't ever off.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- Yeah, I know.- Course, yeah.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Cos you know, like, the past few times I let you down and that
0:13:59 > 0:14:01and I'm just saying this time it's different,
0:14:01 > 0:14:05I am not going to let you down, I'm well, it's all happening, and...
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Wait, sorry...
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Why is everyone eating quiche?
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Your little cousin's selling it.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17You should try some. It's well nice.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19So, what time are you picking me up?
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Laters.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Eight slices at a pound, that's £4 for each of us.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32It's good, but it ain't good enough. We're going to need more quiche...
0:14:32 > 0:14:34You ain't getting no more of nothin', coz.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Hey, Josh. Got a problem?
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Yes, I have got a problem, Nero - with your little quiche fest.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- Ain't no law against it, really. - Ah, really?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I'd like to see what Ding Dong has to say
0:14:44 > 0:14:46about you about you sellin' stuff at lunchtime...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Very enterprising, boys.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Really light pastry.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53OK.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55If that's how you want to play it.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00How many can you make for tomorrow?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I dunno. A couple...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I've only got one pair of hands.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07What if I got us some help?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10So... What's in it for us?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Split of the profits. 10% each.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- That don't sound very much... - It will be.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17We've already got loads of eggs, and we're going to reinvest
0:15:17 > 0:15:20today's money buying the other stuff we need.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21It's clear profit.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23What do you say?
0:15:25 > 0:15:26We're in.
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Selling food at lunchtime.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- It's simple, but brilliant.- Yeah.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Everyone's like, "Where's the food"?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39And they're like, "Eat this," and then it's like, "Duh."
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- And then - cash.- Exactly.- You know...
0:15:41 > 0:15:43They don't have to take home all of the money.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- You think we should nick some off 'em?- No!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49No, what I am saying is we can give them a bit of competition.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Take home a large slice of the profit.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53What, you think we should make our own quiche?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55It doesn't have to be quiche.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59We could make loads from this.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01We could become pie millionaires.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03We could make a pudding fortune.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04I'm in.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Great. I'll leave the details with you guys,
0:16:06 > 0:16:09and bring the business your way.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Take care.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Don't take any prisoners!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Like, duh. Why would cooks take prisoners anyway?
0:16:15 > 0:16:16BELL RINGS
0:16:20 > 0:16:22So, what we goin' to cook?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Apple pie.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Where we going to get apples?
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Steal them from a pig?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Don't be stupid. We haven't got a pig.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- It'd be good if it was something we can get for free.- Well...
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- nettles are free. - I ain't eatin' nettles.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35YOU eat nettles if you want to get face-stang so badly.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37What about that chicken...?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Yeah, like there's a chick...
0:16:39 > 0:16:40- Aww...- Eurgh.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Chicken pie! Everyone loves chicken pie.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51But won't that kind of mean... killing it...?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53What? Er... Will it?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I ain't doin' it. I don't kill nothin'.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Apart from something I can squash with a magazine.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Well, don't look at me, I'm not doing it.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01- You do it.- I ain't doing' it. - You suggested it.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Yeah, you big chicken-suggester.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- Or are you a chicken, like the chicken?- No.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Me and Ash'll do it.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08What?! Hang on...
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Yeah. We off it, you cook it. How's that?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- Fine by me...- Fine.- Fine. - Fine, then.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21We can't execute Mrs McClucky.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Don't give it a name! Just makes it harder.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28We should call it something evil.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31You know, so we think it deserves it.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33What sort of evil name?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- Dr Strangecluck... or something like that.- OK...
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Aha! Dr Strangecluck...
0:17:48 > 0:17:50No.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51You do it. You named it.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Twice.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05It's looking at me.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Can we get a blindfold or something?
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Where are we going to get a blindfold for a chicken?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Not for it - for me!
0:18:14 > 0:18:17The girls are going to think we are proper wimps.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Do it.- Nah, you do it.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20- You do it!- Nah, you do it.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- You do it!- You do it!
0:18:22 > 0:18:23- You do it!- You do it!
0:18:23 > 0:18:24- You do it!- You do it!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- # You do it!- Nah, you do it!
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- # You do it!- Nah, you do it!
0:18:29 > 0:18:30- # You do it!- You do it!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- # You do it!- You do it! - You do it!- You do it!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- # You do it!- You do it! - You do it!- You do it!
0:18:34 > 0:18:35# Oh, sorry Dr Strangecluck
0:18:35 > 0:18:36# Life is tough
0:18:36 > 0:18:39# Only the tough survive and I'm tough, bruv
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# Top of the food chain that's just how it is
0:18:41 > 0:18:44# Chickens get breadcrumbed and served with chips
0:18:44 > 0:18:46# So here chicky-chicky it's time to do this
0:18:46 > 0:18:47# I can do this
0:18:47 > 0:18:49# I can't do this
0:18:49 > 0:18:50# This is foolish
0:18:50 > 0:18:51# I ain't whacking him
0:18:51 > 0:18:54# Maybe we could just help it to have an accident
0:18:54 > 0:18:56# Walk in the path of a firework rocket
0:18:56 > 0:18:59# Or put some chickenfeed in a live plug socket
0:18:59 > 0:19:01# Why did the chicken cross the road?
0:19:01 > 0:19:04# Cos it was rush hour and she does what she's told
0:19:04 > 0:19:06# I'd rather be anywhere else in the world
0:19:06 > 0:19:09# But now I can't look weak in front of the girls
0:19:09 > 0:19:11# This is crazy - just the thought's got me feeling iller
0:19:11 > 0:19:14# It's a living thing, man I'm not a chicken killer
0:19:14 > 0:19:16# Can't even picture her as a Sunday Roast
0:19:16 > 0:19:19# What if she comes back to life as a ghost?!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21# No! Man up, son - you said you'd do it
0:19:21 > 0:19:24# Isaac the tough guy now it's time to prove it!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- # Arrgh! - Mate, face it, this just ain't you
0:19:26 > 0:19:29# You're a lot of things but you're not a killer, dude!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31# Too true, let's not lose our heads Listen
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- BOTH:- # There's gotta be another way to get a dead chicken. #
0:19:45 > 0:19:49Remember, what happens in the corner shop STAYS in the corner shop.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00We're going to get caught!
0:20:06 > 0:20:07OK...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Where's the ingredients? - Eleesha's getting them.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Soz - had to keep stopping so me fingers didn't fall off.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29What's that?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32700 ounces of flour, 300 ounces of butter...
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Not OUNCES - grams!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39The recipe says 700 GRAMS of flour!
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Oh, right! Thought it looked quite a lot.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44How did you get that with 12 quid?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I borrowed some extra off me nan.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Anyway, we can just make some more quiche though, yeah...?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52We're going to need more eggs...
0:20:54 > 0:20:57That's it, Dr Strangecluck. You stay there.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- Good chicken.- What you doin'?!
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Just...trying to stroke it.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Don't let it see what's in the bag!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06It might be one of its relatives.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07DR STRANGECLUCK CACKLES
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Stay.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Be good.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17And, erm, no...no clucking.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22We don't want them to find you, do we?
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Did you do it? Have you get the stuff?- Yeah.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Did you do it?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Yeah. Course we did. It's in here.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Oh! Did she suffer?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43No. No, she was fine. She was...
0:21:43 > 0:21:44- She was calm, wasn't she? And...- Happy.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Happy?! She weren't happy!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Would you be happy to get terminated and put in a pie?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50No. I know you, and you wouldn't. Give me that!
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Oh, my days! They've ripped her insides out and put it in a bag.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58- What is wrong with you?! - Are we going to cook it or what?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00We met her. It's too much.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02You can't bake something after you've been introduced.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Don't you know nothin'?
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Now I feel bad.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08What are we going to do with it?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11FUNERAL MARCH
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Hang on, I think we should say a few words.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Ash?- Me?!
0:22:20 > 0:22:25Right. OK... I hadn't known Dr Strangecluck very long before I...
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Erm...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32But even in that short time,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I could see she was a chicken of enormous...
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- Hey, guys - what's goin' on?- Ssh!
0:22:36 > 0:22:38We're having a chicken funeral. Obviously.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41You what?
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Me and Isaac did in a chicken to cook.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48But...then we changed our minds and decided to bury it.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50So you couldn't bury it in a pie?!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Surely it has to be worth something.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54£3.68.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00You're telling me instead of starting a rival snack operation,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02you just opened a graveyard for hens?
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Is that what's going here...?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Pretty much.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Great. Great.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10So...how am I going to stop Nero...?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Quiche, here. Only the finest.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Special recipe. Only a pound.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Oh...
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Oh, gosh, I don't feel too good.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Er...what's the matter with you?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26I had one of those quiches yesterday, and...
0:23:26 > 0:23:29I think it gave me food poisoning.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31HE RETCHES
0:23:31 > 0:23:32What's going on?
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Our quiche has poisoned Josh...
0:23:36 > 0:23:37He ain't even had none.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Coz, I understand that you've got a business to protect,
0:23:40 > 0:23:42so, you know, I can just pretend that I have a cold.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44HE COUGHS WEAKLY
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I think I might have a cold.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Josh? What's wrong?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh... Nothin'.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Really? You look awful.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Are you going to be OK to go out tonight?
0:23:55 > 0:23:58What? Yeah. Yeah, of course...
0:23:58 > 0:24:00(I'm just pretending.)
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Pretending?!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Yeah, to have a cold. But really he's got food poisoning.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Josh? Have you got food poisoning or flu, or what?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Yeah, Josh. We'd love to hear.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Or maybe you're just tryin' to get out of your date...?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15What? No... Look, I am ill.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17- I have quiche poisoning... - HE RETCHES
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Look, Josh, are you ill or not?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Cos if you are then we can't go out, can we?
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Right, well...
0:24:24 > 0:24:28I AM pretending. And I am definitely not ill at all.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Right. Fine.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Just trying to get out of the date, then?
0:24:32 > 0:24:33No!
0:24:33 > 0:24:35No, wait!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Rachel! No, wait - I was just...
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Rachel!
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- What?- Look, I really need to apologise to you.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43What is with you, Josh?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46You say you like me, but then you do all this weird stuff.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Look, me pretending that I was ill wasn't to get out of our date.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51It's just Nero, man...
0:24:51 > 0:24:55I don't really care about Nero, Josh. Just tell me this.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Are we definitely going out tonight?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Well, the thing is...
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I ain't got you a ticket...
0:25:01 > 0:25:03What? Why did you invite me then?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- Look, it's just my mum, man, she made me...- What?
0:25:06 > 0:25:07No - she didn't make me invite you!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- I WANTED to invite you... - But you didn't get me a ticket.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Look, Rachel, this whole situation has just been a nightmare, and...
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Right. I'm really sorry me saying yes when you asked me out
0:25:17 > 0:25:19was such a nightmare.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Maybe you shouldn't do that again. Like, ever.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25- Oh, but...- Bye, Josh.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27- But I...- No!
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Wow. Did we make all this?
0:25:33 > 0:25:3610% for us two, right?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Oh, hang on - what about the money I owe me nan?
0:25:40 > 0:25:44And then my share of the profits...
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Hang on.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Well, I'll be taking that.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51So I've gone through all that work and starvation for nothing?
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Well, not for nothing - you've learned how to cook.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55You can all share my badge.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57But not literally, I get to keep it.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Josh! Josh! I've got that ticket if you still want it?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01No way.
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Yeah, Nero couldn't pay up.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Must be your lucky day, eh?
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Rachel!
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Never - speak - to me - again!
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Bit awkward.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Hey, Josh. You ready for the gig of a lifetime...?
0:26:24 > 0:26:26- Yeah, I s'pose.- Cheer up.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29This is Hy-Q - the first time he's ever played the UK.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31And WE'RE going to be there! Yeah?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33OK, yeah, I guess that's pretty cool.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35It's going to be superb. Get in!
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Excuse me... Why is she here?
0:26:42 > 0:26:45I'm going to the concert. I'm not wasting a ticket.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46But - not with us.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Why not? I'm driving anyway.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Get in the back and prepare for the night of your life!
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Goodbye, Dr Strangecluck.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Live well, my friend...
0:27:27 > 0:27:28You loved that chicken.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29No, I didn't!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31You did. I saw you.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Shut up!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35"Live well my friend"?!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36I said shut up!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40You going to go back and give him a kiss on the beak?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46ROOSTER CROWS
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:50 > 0:27:51# Kick you when you're down
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- # But when no-one understands them - You know what they're on about
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- # Always gonna be around - Gotta find a common ground
0:27:56 > 0:27:59# If you know so much about me
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Where do I go from here?
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- # If you see 'em every day - You can never get away
0:28:04 > 0:28:07# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #