Choir

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?

0:00:12 > 0:00:14# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo?

0:00:18 > 0:00:23# You should stay, it can change There's good days and bad days

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line It's time for the show to stop

0:00:26 > 0:00:29# So the only time is now, four o'clock. #

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Look, Jay-Z is the best rapper alive.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Kanye ain't even the best rapper on a Kanye album.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44No, but Jay-Z's so old-school. Kanye's trying to be different,

0:00:44 > 0:00:46- and you know it works. - It does not work.- Yeah, it does.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49- He's trying too hard, man.- Can you get out of the car so I can lock up?

0:00:52 > 0:00:56- What's up with you?- Mr Bell asked me to do Friday assembly.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00Kids never pay attention anyway. Do a song and a psalm. Job done.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Things have got more competitive since the merger.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05Did you see Mrs Greenwood's Bollywood dance display last week?

0:01:05 > 0:01:08- They were schoolkids? I thought they were pros.- Exactly.

0:01:08 > 0:01:09Boys, can you hurry up?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12- So ask the school orchestra to do something.- Disbanded.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14This is my first assembly of the merger.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17I really want to make a good impression on...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Oh, Mr Bell.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Good morning.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24HE LAUGHS

0:01:26 > 0:01:28- Get inside, Carter.- Yes, sir.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30And take your small cousin with you.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32- Small cousin?- C'mon, tiny man.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Who is Ding-Dong calling small?

0:01:35 > 0:01:38I hope you haven't forgotten Friday's assembly, Harris.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40No. I've got tonnes of ideas.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43And so I should hope. As a former Elmsbury teacher,

0:01:43 > 0:01:45I'm relying on you to make a good impression.

0:01:47 > 0:01:48Don't make me regret it.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Hey-hey-hey. R-to-the-C.

0:02:01 > 0:02:02Hiya.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04So, er, what you up to?

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Er... Standing by my locker, getting my books out.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09HE LAUGHS

0:02:11 > 0:02:12Funny!

0:02:12 > 0:02:14So, erm...thanks for the add.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16What add?

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Last night? On Facebook?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Oh, YOU'RE J-Hyphen?

0:02:20 > 0:02:24Yeah. It's just a stage name, so people don't bother me whilst I'm...

0:02:24 > 0:02:25chillaxing.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Oh. I thought it was Neil from French.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31He's always making up stupid fake profiles to wind me up.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Right.- Not that your profile picture's stupid.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Although you do look...different.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Well, you know, when I'm outside of school

0:02:39 > 0:02:42I just like to switch it up sometimes. That's my chilling face.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Right. Well, it's French now, so see you later.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Yeah, man, everything's fine. We're meeting up after school tomorrow.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Mate, we heard every word.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00I don't understand, man. It just fell to pieces.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04Just stay cool. You need to get to know her.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06What's your obsession with hooking me up with Rachel?

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Think about it. Her friends are well fit.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11So, if you end up going out with her,

0:03:11 > 0:03:14one of them's going to practically have to end up going out with me,

0:03:14 > 0:03:15just to make it fair.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Cos you're such a hit with the ladies.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Dinner ladies.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26- What's up, woggle-chops? - Tripped on a guy rope at Scout camp?

0:03:26 > 0:03:30No, I'm fine. It's just a slight hiccup in the toilet schedule.

0:03:30 > 0:03:31You've got a schedule?

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Obviously. 7-7:05, become fully awake.

0:03:34 > 0:03:387:05-7:15, breakfast and iron my uniform.

0:03:38 > 0:03:417:15, get in the toilet before Dad.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Good move. Dads are major bog-hoggers.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46I know, but this morning I missed my slot.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50- So use the school loos. - Uh-huh. I went in there once.

0:03:50 > 0:03:51Never again.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52So what are you going to do?

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Do what every good Scout does when his courage is tested.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Exercise self-control.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- All day?- Can I sit next to you?

0:04:02 > 0:04:04A ukulele orchestra.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Who do you know who plays the ukulele?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08A Jamaican steel band.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10We're all out of steel drums.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Well, I'm all out of ideas. Good luck.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16You do know we're doing this assembly together?

0:04:16 > 0:04:20Oh, yeah, I'd love to, but I've got this music festival on Friday.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21What music festival?

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Did I not tell you? I'm going to be off sick. But don't worry

0:04:25 > 0:04:28because I'll be with you in spirit. Just not actually with you.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30So, I've been telling Mrs O'Brien

0:04:30 > 0:04:32all about your big plans for Friday's assembly.

0:04:32 > 0:04:36- I'd love to hear them!- Um, we're still in the brainstorming stage.

0:04:36 > 0:04:40Oh, good. Well, perhaps we can help narrow your focus.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42OK...

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Recorder recital?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Brass band?

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Careful, or you'll come up with something really boring,

0:04:47 > 0:04:48like a choir.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Ooh, I like it!

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Cultural, collaborative.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55Bit more highbrow than Bollywood dancing, eh, Mrs O'Brien?

0:04:55 > 0:04:56There's only one problem.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00- We don't have a choir.- I'm sure Dexter can pull something together.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Nothing's too hard for one of my teachers.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05And I'm sure Miss Parker would be happy to assist.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Actually, I've got a lot on. Marking. Planning.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Cleaning...maracas.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Plenty of time to do that over the weekend.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14I can't wait to see what you come up with.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24Choir? I'm sure the kids'll be frothing at the mouth, mate.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Take it from me, if you want to get them inspired,

0:05:27 > 0:05:29you need to start a proper club. Like this.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Boxing? Isn't that dangerous?

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Not necessarily.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Although it is the way I do it! - HE LAUGHS

0:05:35 > 0:05:36See you later, choirboy.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41What are you doing, sir?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Nothing to do with you, sweetheart. Run along.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Er, why does it say "for boys only"?

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Er, cos it's a boxing club?

0:05:48 > 0:05:50What? Are you saying that girls can't box?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53No, I'm not saying they can't. I'm saying they're rubbish at it.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Why?- Evolution.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Look, basically, women have got small, flimsy arms

0:05:58 > 0:05:59for sewing and cooking,

0:05:59 > 0:06:04whilst men have got big, muscly arms for fighting sabre-toothed tigers.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Er, ain't that a bit sexist?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07It's not sexist.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10I'm just saying that a woman boxing is like a dog riding a skateboard.

0:06:10 > 0:06:11It's just wrong.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ah, boxing! Can I join?

0:06:13 > 0:06:17Course you can, my son. Show us your left hook! There we go!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19# What? Who says that girls can't box?

0:06:19 > 0:06:22# We're female, we're used to fighting a lot!

0:06:22 > 0:06:24# Fighting to be heard, fighting for respect

0:06:24 > 0:06:27# So logically a physical fight is what's next

0:06:27 > 0:06:29# What? Who says that girls can't box?

0:06:29 > 0:06:32# We're female, we're used to fighting a lot!

0:06:32 > 0:06:34# So, Mr Nunn, you don't know what you've done

0:06:34 > 0:06:38# And your best bet now is probably just run - pow!

0:06:38 > 0:06:39# How do you like me now?

0:06:39 > 0:06:43# Gloved up with that plastic thing in my mouth - pow!

0:06:43 > 0:06:47# Knock any boy out if I had to Your whole crew'd be, like, "Wow!"

0:06:47 > 0:06:50# Step into the ring, now you don't know what to do

0:06:50 > 0:06:52# Princess and fairy wings was Year Two

0:06:52 > 0:06:55# Just cos we're smaller with nicer hair

0:06:55 > 0:06:58# That doesn't mean that we ain't fighters, yeah?

0:06:58 > 0:07:00# And anything you can do we can do better

0:07:00 > 0:07:02# Second-class citizens once, but now we're fed up

0:07:02 > 0:07:04# You ain't had a test like this before

0:07:04 > 0:07:07# It's a scientific fact that we're more mature

0:07:07 > 0:07:10# So stick it up your bogey-filled nose if you're sexist

0:07:10 > 0:07:12# What's the most embarrassing thing on your check list?

0:07:12 > 0:07:15# Number one worst thing in the whole world?

0:07:15 > 0:07:17# Probably getting beaten up by a girl!

0:07:17 > 0:07:20# What? Who says that girls can't box?

0:07:20 > 0:07:22# We're female, we're used to fighting a lot!

0:07:22 > 0:07:25# So, Mr Nunn, you don't know what you've done

0:07:25 > 0:07:29# And your best bet now is probably just run - pow! #

0:07:33 > 0:07:39- Ah! Just the man I'm looking for. - Mrs O'B! Fancy a spar?

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Well, according to these girls, I couldn't even if I wanted to.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Oh, look, it's not sexism.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47I'm just saying if the girls come along, it'll ruin it for the boys.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Oi, you two! Left-right, left-right!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Are you aware, Mr Nunn, that this school has

0:07:52 > 0:07:54a strict anti-discrimination policy?

0:07:54 > 0:07:58- You what?- I want this boxing club open to girls,

0:07:58 > 0:08:00or I am closing it down.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03- Listen, love... - May I remind you, Mr Nunn,

0:08:03 > 0:08:08that as head teacher of this school I am your line manager?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11And, girls, I can't wait to see you in action.

0:08:11 > 0:08:15Er, we don't actually want to box, miss.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18It's just the principle of it.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Don't let him intimidate you! If you want to box, you go for it.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25Oh, and strictly warm-ups. No sparring.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27I don't want lawyers' letters,

0:08:27 > 0:08:29like that mixed-age rugby match at the open day.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33That wasn't my fault. What sort of berk chokes on his own tooth?

0:08:42 > 0:08:46A choir?! Mate, that has got to be the definition of lame.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47Thought it might be up your street.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Er, no. I'm more of a rapper than a singer.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53I think that people that sing in choirs are like musical sheep,

0:08:53 > 0:08:55whereas me, you know, I'm more of a dragon.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I think it sounds pretty cool.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00I saw this gospel choir in London once. They were tight.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03Trust me, no lie, they were tight.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06You see? Some of you might not like choral music,

0:09:06 > 0:09:08but there are plenty of kids who do.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11I hope you've got an umbrella, cos it's going to be a complete wash-out.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14- LAUGHTER - Well, we'll just wait and see,

0:09:14 > 0:09:16won't we?

0:09:17 > 0:09:19A choir with three people?

0:09:19 > 0:09:22It's amazing what you can do with a bit of enthusiasm.

0:09:22 > 0:09:23I'm just here cos it's either this

0:09:23 > 0:09:26or listen to bob-a-job natter about his toilet schedule.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Is this choir practice?

0:09:28 > 0:09:30YES!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32I mean, come in, let's hear what you've got.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I'm just saying, you need to get on with this Rachel business.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40It's not just YOUR love life on the line here.

0:09:40 > 0:09:41Look, man, I can't bowl up cold

0:09:41 > 0:09:44and make myself look like a chisel, like I did last time.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Best give it up now. It's only going to end in tears.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49My uncle Ian married his school sweetheart.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51- What happened?- Well, she broke his heart,

0:09:51 > 0:09:55- and now he sleeps on a mattress in my nan's loft.- Wow, great pep talk, man.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00I'll let you know about the next choir practice.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Mate, I've just had a brilliant idea.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Save it. I've got to join that choir.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Oh. I was going to say beg for love like a spaniel begs for sausage.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14But I guess yours works just as well.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Dexter! About choir. I'd really like to join.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23I thought you said choir was the definition of lame.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Yeah... I only really said that because I was intimidated.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Choral singing can be quite intimidating.

0:10:27 > 0:10:32Tell me about it. So, when does practice start?

0:10:32 > 0:10:35I'm really sorry, Josh, but it looks like we'll have to cancel.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Cancel? Dude, loads of people have been looking forward to this.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Then how come only four people turned up to practice?

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Four? I'm going to say it.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45- That's rubbish.- I told Bell I'd pull this out the bag.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49If I turn up with four kids, he'll think we're just carol singers.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Look, untwist your trolleys, man. I'll find you a new set of lungs.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54From where?

0:10:54 > 0:10:56A hidden seam of raw talent.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01The four o'clock club?

0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Yep.- How did you get them to change their minds about choirs?

0:11:04 > 0:11:08I didn't. I told them you'd let them off detention for the next week.

0:11:08 > 0:11:09Plus we needed somewhere to hide.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Otherwise Mr Nunn's going to make us hit things.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Yeah, so do you want to impress Ding-Dong or not?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17- Can they even sing?- No.

0:11:17 > 0:11:18Maybe.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22But they just need a bit of help from a very inspirational teacher.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Unfortunately, we don't have one, so we'll have to put up with you.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28LAUGHTER

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Oh. Hey, Rachel. Didn't expect to see you here.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Didn't expect to see YOU here either.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41Specially after you said choirs are the definition of lame.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44- I didn't say that.- And that people in them are musical sheep.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48- They're not.- What was it again? "I'm a rapper, not a singer."

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Look, singing's just rapping that goes up and down, right?

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Now THAT is some quality lady talk.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57Are we going to get started or what?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00- Did you have to bring this herd of muppets?- Oi. Watch it, you driblet.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02You watch it, meathead.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05The stress is putting unbearable pressure on my system.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Ugh, gross!

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Hey! Just because he's got toilet issues don't make him gross!

0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Ugh! Grosser!- This is WORSE than being in detention.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE

0:12:17 > 0:12:22Shut up! Mr Harris, I thought you'd be at choir practice.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23This IS choir practice.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25HE GULPS

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Can I see you outside for a moment, please?

0:12:30 > 0:12:33ALL: Oooooohhh...!

0:12:40 > 0:12:42You call this pulling a choir together?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45I don't think you're ready for this responsibility, Mr Harris.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46You'd better make this work.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Let me guess. Ding-Dong don't want us involved?

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Bell never lets us do anything. He thinks we'll embarrass him.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Yeah, like when he Photoshopped Ash out of the school prospectus.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Well, to be fair, he was mooning out of an upstairs window.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06My finest hour, wiped from history.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09The choir is on.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Mr Bell said he can't wait to see us in action.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Right. Here's the song we'll be singing.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17If you could pass these back.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Miss Parkwood, costumes?

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Wait. What? Costumes?

0:13:23 > 0:13:26No. We can't. What if we get caught?

0:13:26 > 0:13:29The only thing stopping us is our minds.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31And a big sign saying "Staff toilets".

0:13:31 > 0:13:35Look, it's either this or use the student bogs.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42OK. Let's do it.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Oh, wow. It's like heaven.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52It's just a toilet.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Oh, it's so much more!

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Keep lookout. I may be some time.

0:14:05 > 0:14:10ALL, HORRIBLY OUT OF TUNE: # In the jungle, the mighty jungle

0:14:10 > 0:14:16# The lion sleeps tonight

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- # In the jungle, the mighty... # - ROAR!

0:14:19 > 0:14:21OK, stop! Stop, stop, stop.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23ROAR!

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Maybe we should try it in a different key.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26Or a different school.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Miss Parkwood?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30- MISS PARKWOOD!- Eh?

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- Lower key?- Maybe we'd do better if someone was actually singing.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35At least I could sing if I wanted to,

0:14:35 > 0:14:37unlike some people. Mentioning no names.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Ash Newman.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Excuse me?

0:14:40 > 0:14:44At least I don't sound like a bat being boiled alive.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Hey, my gran says I've got a lovely singing voice!

0:14:46 > 0:14:47Your gran is thick.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50And why are we wearing these stupid romper suits?

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Everyone, please! We have two days to get this right.

0:14:53 > 0:14:56Nice work, Josh. This choir was on fire before you came and ruined it.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Oh, was it really? - I think I'm going to go.

0:14:58 > 0:15:02Er, Rachel, don't go, man! We were just getting warmed up.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I've just remembered, I've got things to do. Sorry, Mr Harris.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Great, now our best singer's gone.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Yeah. There goes my last chance of happiness.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oi, you two.

0:15:15 > 0:15:16Can I help?

0:15:19 > 0:15:21You're meant to be at boxing class.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Sorry, sir, but we don't actually want to box.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26I don't care. If you don't come,

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Mrs O'Brien is going to think I'm discrimin...

0:15:29 > 0:15:31d...discr...disc...

0:15:31 > 0:15:33discriminifying.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Mr Nunn, I'm really sorry, but they're in my choir.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Not any more, mate. Now come on. Get yourself out of those...

0:15:39 > 0:15:41whatever those are and get kitted up.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48This choir ain't what I thought it was. I'm sliding.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Yeah, me too.- Oh, no. Mr Bell might not notice if two go,

0:15:51 > 0:15:53but he will if you all do.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Back here.

0:15:57 > 0:15:58Punch it...

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Punch it again...

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Do even more punching...

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- This is horrible.- I know.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11I hurt in muscles I didn't even know I had.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Right, looks like we need to work on your motivation, ladies.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Ten laps of the gym. Now.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20- Sir!- Or can't your little girlie spaghetti legs take it?

0:16:20 > 0:16:22HE CHUCKLES

0:16:22 > 0:16:23Go on.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33My little choirboy! I'm so proud.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36You and me were in a gospel choir once, weren't we?

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Well, you were in the choir, I was more a star soloist.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43Yeah, she had a powerful voice, just a bit shrieky.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46- When's the concert? - Tomorrow, assembly.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48But it's going to suck cos Josh wrecked it.

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Don't worry about that, cos I dropped out.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52- What?- Josh!

0:16:52 > 0:16:53Dexter said it was cool.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Now you know we're going to embarrass ourselves, you've bailed?

0:16:56 > 0:16:58Look, it's not my fault you're going to look like dweebs.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00It's a naff song and lame outfits.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Nero! Your dinosaur waffles! - I ain't hungry.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05That's typical, Josh.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Something gets hard and you leave without a thought for anybody else.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Er, I don't think so.

0:17:10 > 0:17:15# Aaaaah, man, I left my crew in the lurch

0:17:15 > 0:17:18# Never, ever want to get pushed off my perch

0:17:18 > 0:17:20# Ain't just my mum who gets driven berserk

0:17:20 > 0:17:23# She's the only one who'll confirm that I've been this way since birth

0:17:23 > 0:17:25# Y'see, one day old, in the hospital nursery

0:17:25 > 0:17:29# I took all the dummies and bottles of milk that weren't for me

0:17:29 > 0:17:31# As a toddler at the table for dinner time

0:17:31 > 0:17:33# If I was done before you, the rest of yours? It was mine

0:17:33 > 0:17:36# When there's not much milk left, I won't finish it

0:17:36 > 0:17:39# Just most of it, then put the tiny bit back in the fridge

0:17:39 > 0:17:41# I'm even worse when it comes to your stuff

0:17:41 > 0:17:43# I'll borrow it, use it and lose it

0:17:43 > 0:17:46# Sure enough I'll be back next time to borrow something else

0:17:46 > 0:17:49- # Maybe that's why my mum says - "Josh! You're something else!"

0:17:49 > 0:17:52# I guess I thought she meant it as a compliment

0:17:52 > 0:17:55# But now I see if people wanted to hate me, what's stopping them?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57# I wouldn't like a friend like me who jumped the gun

0:17:57 > 0:18:00# To every advantage, just looking out for number one

0:18:00 > 0:18:02# And now I've got the best of my friends stuck in a fix

0:18:02 > 0:18:05# All because of another of Josh Carter's tricks

0:18:05 > 0:18:08# Well, maybe this time I could be more of a man than a mouse

0:18:08 > 0:18:10# And try to help out, give 'em a hand

0:18:10 > 0:18:13# Yeah, yeah, try to help out, give 'em a hand

0:18:13 > 0:18:16# Ah, yeah, try to help out, give 'em a hand, uh-huh. #

0:18:25 > 0:18:26COMMOTION

0:18:31 > 0:18:33My secret toilet!

0:18:33 > 0:18:35You promised you wouldn't tell anyone.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38You swore, on Scout's honour.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Oh, come on, I didn't tell anyone else, I swear.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43I got backup.

0:18:52 > 0:18:58Oh, no, no, we can't go handing back the hard-won freedoms we fought for!

0:18:58 > 0:19:03It's Mr Nunn. I'm really sorry, miss, but he's a wazzock.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06I think it's just easier if we drop out,

0:19:06 > 0:19:11fight for equality in other ways, like with our minds or something.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14I know the pressure strong, powerful women face

0:19:14 > 0:19:17in a male-dominated environment.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19But when you get knocked down,

0:19:19 > 0:19:23you have to get back in that ring and show those boys what you can do.

0:19:23 > 0:19:24- But...- You'll be fine.

0:19:24 > 0:19:28Why don't I drop in on you later, show you some moral support?

0:19:28 > 0:19:30I believe in you!

0:19:38 > 0:19:40- Don't punch me.- You punched me.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44And you let him drop out?

0:19:44 > 0:19:45I listened to what Josh had to say,

0:19:45 > 0:19:48and I made a decision which I thought was best for the group.

0:19:48 > 0:19:49Lies. Josh told me he bailed

0:19:49 > 0:19:51cos we're going to look like massive idiots.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53I'm well going to lamp him.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55I know you're finding the song challenging,

0:19:55 > 0:20:00but if we run it through one last time as a team it'll come together.

0:20:00 > 0:20:01Right, Miss Parkwood?

0:20:01 > 0:20:03SHE LAUGHS

0:20:04 > 0:20:05Oh, you're being serious.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Yes. Definitely.

0:20:08 > 0:20:09Let's go.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12LOUDLY, OUT OF TUNE: # Awimoweh, awimoweh

0:20:12 > 0:20:15# Awimoweh, awimoweh

0:20:15 > 0:20:16# Awimoweh! #

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Will you stop shouting in my ear?

0:20:18 > 0:20:19You're the one that's doing the shouting.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Oi. Get off my mate.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23You get off him! Calm it, Eli.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'm jacking this in. I'm serious.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Wassup, divots?

0:20:28 > 0:20:30What are you doing here, king dropout?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Oh, sorry, am I late? I was too busy doing some - ahem...

0:20:33 > 0:20:36# ..voca-a-a-al warm-ups! #

0:20:36 > 0:20:38I thought you quit.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Well, I did, but it's evident you guys need me. So, what's up?

0:20:41 > 0:20:44We can't sing, and the song's rubbish.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Well, luckily for you guys, I spent some time last night

0:20:46 > 0:20:49messing around with the track, and I reworked it.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52That still doesn't solve the problem that we can't sing.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Leave that to me, Agness.

0:20:54 > 0:20:58You see, a choir is like a big speaker of people.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Ain't that right, Dexter?- Kind of.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04So, tweeters on this side, woofers over here.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Ash, you got a good set of pipes, yeah?

0:21:06 > 0:21:08It's true. I'm a gifted man.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Well, maybe you should stand at the back,

0:21:10 > 0:21:12so you can really give it some welly. Yeah?

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Isaac, you need to sing in a higher key.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19And, Eli, Eli, my main man?

0:21:20 > 0:21:24Move your mouth up and down, open, close, like you're singing,

0:21:24 > 0:21:28but, for me, don't let a sound come out.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Now, the rest of you, after three, give me an awimoweh.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33One, two, three.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35# Awimoweh. #

0:21:36 > 0:21:38That sounded proper good, that did.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I can't believe we're stuck here doing this.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43- It's your fault.- Er, how?

0:21:43 > 0:21:46You totally wussed out in front of O'Brien.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48I wussed out? You were all rubbish and pathetic.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Do you want to come here and say that?

0:21:50 > 0:21:53BOYS CHANT: Fight, fight, fight, fight...

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Whoa, girls!

0:21:56 > 0:21:59- She started it.- I never! - I don't care who started it,

0:21:59 > 0:22:02bring it on! Maybe I underestimated you two.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Right, you in that corner, you over there.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08Now, I want no biting and a good, clean fight.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10HE BLOWS WHISTLE

0:22:10 > 0:22:12What is this?!

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Er, all right? I was just showing them what sparring looks like.

0:22:15 > 0:22:19So...they can avoid it. You know, for their own safety.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21That's it. I'm shutting this club down.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25- What?!- I can't have pupils fighting in my school.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Girls, I am very disappointed in you.

0:22:27 > 0:22:32When I said, "Get back in the ring," this is not what I had in mind!

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Now come on, shake hands.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41So does that mean no more boxing club, sir?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44No. It's political correctness gone mad.

0:22:44 > 0:22:49Listen, girls, I run an after-hours boxing club at the YMCA.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51You're welcome to come along for a few bouts.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54But I am warning you, it does get pretty tasty.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56Mr Nunn, what are you doing?

0:22:56 > 0:23:00Just saying that violence is never the answer.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Better get a quick bog drop in before the...

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Oh, no.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Locks! Ding-Dong's an evil genius.

0:23:14 > 0:23:17My secret toilet out of bounds, for ever!

0:23:18 > 0:23:22If it makes any difference, I stole you some of this.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24Two-ply! Thanks, mate.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27It's just my way of saying, y'know...sorry.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29Well, five years to go at this school.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32I suppose I was always going to have to brave the school bogs one day.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Wish me luck. I'm going in.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Godspeed, pal.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Following the excesses of last week's show...

0:23:45 > 0:23:47..it is a privilege to introduce

0:23:47 > 0:23:50something more classically satisfying...

0:23:50 > 0:23:57our new choir, formed by former Elmsbury teacher Mr Harris.

0:24:08 > 0:24:13ALL, IN TUNE: Awimoweh, awimoweh, awimoweh, awimoweh

0:24:13 > 0:24:17# Awimoweh, awimoweh, awimoweh, awimoweh

0:24:17 > 0:24:26# In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight

0:24:26 > 0:24:34# In the jungle, the...big... jungle, the lion sleeps tonight

0:24:34 > 0:24:37THEY VOCALISE

0:24:51 > 0:24:56# Yeah, it's a jungle out here in my manor, subtropical Elmsmere

0:24:56 > 0:24:59# You can smell foul stench from the rainforest floor

0:24:59 > 0:25:01# Droppings from the beasts that walked here before

0:25:01 > 0:25:06# We got big grizzlies teaching PE, some sloths in music taking it easy

0:25:06 > 0:25:09# Two old elephants fighting to be the boss, yo

0:25:09 > 0:25:11# Still haven't clocked, though, who's the head honcho

0:25:11 > 0:25:14# Maybe it's me, I could be the sleeping lion

0:25:14 > 0:25:16# Wake up as the king, rule over you like a giant

0:25:16 > 0:25:19# But now I'm just a cub in this jungle book

0:25:19 > 0:25:21# And I need all of my friends in this jungle, look

0:25:21 > 0:25:24# Kids are cruel, if we act the fool and they see us

0:25:24 > 0:25:27# In the playground they'll be laughing like hyenas

0:25:27 > 0:25:29# Dog eat dog, real friends and no fakes

0:25:29 > 0:25:32# So shhhhhhhh, watch out for those snakes!

0:25:32 > 0:25:33# It's a jungle. #

0:25:33 > 0:25:35CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:25:48 > 0:25:51It NEVER sounded like that when we did it at Scouts.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54You got to admit, cuz, I knocked it out the park.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57Yeah, that's only cos you were performing my songs, bro.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00All right, your flow was good. For a Year Seven.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06What on earth do you call that?

0:26:06 > 0:26:11I was expecting finely honed close harmonies, not that abomination.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Shows we can move with the times, encourage difficult kids...?

0:26:14 > 0:26:17Really? Because I call it a complete embarrassment.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22- Mr Harris!- I can explain. You see, some of the kids dropped out and...

0:26:22 > 0:26:24That was great! So refreshing.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27I can see our teachers have got a lot to live up to.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32Under the circumstances, I... suppose you did your best.

0:26:32 > 0:26:33Well done.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37You did so well. I'm so proud!

0:26:37 > 0:26:42You've just headlined assembly. This is your big chance to make a move.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Yeah, but I also ruined choir for her, bro.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46So I doubt she's going to be that into it.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49- Hey, Josh.- Hey, Rach.- What's up?

0:26:49 > 0:26:52I'm standing outside the assembly hall feeling like a dingbat,

0:26:52 > 0:26:55- to be honest.- Well, I really liked what you did up there.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Really? I mean, course you did.

0:26:57 > 0:27:01I mean, what I did up there was pretty special, you know.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Do you think I'll be able to join the choir again?

0:27:04 > 0:27:06Yes. Um, Mr Harris?

0:27:06 > 0:27:09Mr Harris, how would you feel about Rachel joining choir again?

0:27:09 > 0:27:12I'm really sorry, guys, but I think that was a one-off.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16Bit too much work for me. Unless Miss Parkwood wants to take over.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18Maybe.

0:27:18 > 0:27:22Oh, wait, I just remembered I have a life.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Erm, maybe we can, er, catch up

0:27:27 > 0:27:30and talk music over a burger or something?

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Sure. When's good?

0:27:32 > 0:27:33I got a gap in my schedule right now.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36And could you bring one of your friends?

0:27:36 > 0:27:39Preferably a sparkly one, cos I do like 'em feisty.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42They're all busy tonight. Maybe another time.

0:27:45 > 0:27:47Ash!

0:27:47 > 0:27:49Well done, mate(!) Thanks for blowing it.

0:27:49 > 0:27:50Don't know why I bother.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55- # You can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out

0:27:55 > 0:27:56# When they're up, they rub it in your face

0:27:56 > 0:27:58# Kick you when you're down

0:27:58 > 0:28:00- # When no-one understands them - You know what they're on about

0:28:00 > 0:28:03- # Always going to be around - Got to find the common ground

0:28:03 > 0:28:07# If you know so much about me Where do I go from here?

0:28:07 > 0:28:10- # You see 'em every day - You can never get away

0:28:10 > 0:28:12BOTH: # The only time when you're the boss is four o'clock. #