0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# There's good days and bad days
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:29# 4 o'clock. #
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Can't believe your mum has gone to work and left us
0:00:35 > 0:00:37to deal with your dodgy sink.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39RADIO: 'You've just got to love a bit of U2.'
0:00:39 > 0:00:40Ugh. No, we don't.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43- Oi!- Oi!
0:00:43 > 0:00:47Look, it's for a radio competition and you can win these speakers.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Only catch is you got to listen all day until they play Will Young.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52DOORBELL
0:00:52 > 0:00:55At last! The plumber! Someone who knows what he's doing.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Exterminate! Exterminate!
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Exterminate! Exterminate!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Ash?
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Work experience, innit, Mrs J? I'm with me Uncle Kev.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11He's just parkin' up.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Ah, sink, is it?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Friends and family discount?
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Ah! Oi! Ow!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25THEY LAUGH
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Well, you see, there's your main problem right there.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34THEY LAUGH
0:01:34 > 0:01:37So, erm, Josh? What you doing for work experience then?
0:01:37 > 0:01:40I'm not doing anything, Nero. I want to be a rapper.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43What's workin' as a skivvy in some shop going to do for me?
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Er, apart from give you
0:01:44 > 0:01:47valuable experience of life in the real world?
0:01:47 > 0:01:49And cash.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50You are joking, right?
0:01:50 > 0:01:53It's work experience. You're doing it for nothing.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54You what?
0:01:56 > 0:02:00I've just spent the last half hour with my hand up
0:02:00 > 0:02:02some old scuffer's manky pipes!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04THEY LAUGH
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Oi! KEV! Kev! Gimme that monkey wrench, you...
0:02:10 > 0:02:12THEY LAUGH
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Hey, Nero, check out the human snail.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Yeah... Personal best!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Yeah, mate. You normally you don't make a div of yourself
0:02:22 > 0:02:23until you're inside.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Ha-ha.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28But who'll be the div when I've got my Athletic Activity badge?
0:02:28 > 0:02:29I think you will.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31THEY LAUGH
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I've got my badge test this lunchtime with Mr Nunn.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Nunn-chuck?! He's your tester?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Well, he's firm but fair.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Oi! Out of the way, Titchy!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Unfortunately, you've all been unable to find
0:02:46 > 0:02:47a work experience placement.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Oh, my days. You better not say
0:02:49 > 0:02:51I didn't try because I actually flippin' WELL did.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52Don't you already have a job?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Down Auntie Val's salon. She says working Saturdays is enough.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I went everywhere asking about
0:02:57 > 0:02:59working on one of those make-up counter things as a...
0:02:59 > 0:03:00- Beautician.- Yeah, I know!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03And they were all like "No, no", "Stop shouting", "Security!"
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Maybe you shouldn't have applied in person.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Are you sayin' I'm ugly?!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Look, we understand it can be very difficult to find a placement...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Feet!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14..which is why we've decided to offer you work experience
0:03:14 > 0:03:15here at the school.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Listen, sir, you know, it doesn't make sense
0:03:18 > 0:03:19us working at the school.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22It's really not going to work, you know, we're a proper menace.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Mmm, I see your point, Carter. But Mrs O'Brien
0:03:25 > 0:03:28thinks that she knows better. And who are we to argue?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Your previous school may have dealt with this situation differently...
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Chewing!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35..however, I personally do not think that pupils benefit
0:03:35 > 0:03:37from lazing around.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Well, I think it's a good idea. Well done, miss.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Josh, you'll be joining Mr Harris.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Fine...
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Ashley, Isaac, you'll be with Mr Nunn. And Zoe-Marie and Agness,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50you will be assisting Mrs Johnson in the school office.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Uh-uh. I ain't.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I'm takin' you to the European Court Of Beautricians.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Well, until they get back to you, the office.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I do enjoy your little schemes, Mrs O'Brien.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03I think you're being very brave.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04I'm simply doing my job.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07It's ridiculous to have them just sitting around lazing,
0:04:07 > 0:04:08- doing nothing. - HE LAUGHS
0:04:17 > 0:04:20What? What is this?! Why are you not in lessons?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Don't have any.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25Year 10 are on work experience, Year 11 are on study leave.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Year 9 are notoriously skivey.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Woo-hoo! Want some ice cream?
0:04:30 > 0:04:32And you knew about this frivolity?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I know that the staff benefit
0:04:34 > 0:04:36from a little relaxation at this time of year.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I see. Well, I do not think that the staff benefit
0:04:39 > 0:04:45from sitting around, lazing, doing nothing, playing...
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I'm going to be changing the timetable immediately!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Thank you.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58All right, settle down!
0:04:58 > 0:05:02You three, over there, you two join that group and one, two, three,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05in that corner, go.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09OK, today we're joined by our brand-new classroom assistant,
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Mr Carter, who I'm sure is very excited to be
0:05:12 > 0:05:15getting his first taste of the joys of teaching.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Even if he doesn't show it.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Fascinating stuff today,
0:05:21 > 0:05:24we're going to be trying a composition exercise.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27The theme is My Life.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31So, in your groups, start thinking about one verse, and one chorus, OK?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Josh, can you... Josh?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Josh?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38JOSH!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40JOSH!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I want you to work with those three.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I know it's a lot of pressure, but see what you can do.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Mr Harris?
0:05:47 > 0:05:50When you say My Life, is it your life or is it MY life?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51What? Your life.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52- BOTH:- See, I told you!
0:05:52 > 0:05:56THEY ARGUE
0:05:56 > 0:05:57- Hey, Josh.- Hi, Josh.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Hey, guys. Erm, I really need to listen to this,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04so you don't hassle me, and I'll let you get along, yeah?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Cool. Lesson off.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Ladies, can I interest you in a thumb war?
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- ALL:- One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I told you working for Numpty Nunn wouldn't be so bad.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18I mean, it's PE teachers. They don't do nothing, do they?
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Right, come at me. Hit me with your best shot.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I will not feel it because I am Pad Man.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29What's that on your head?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32I don't know? A little helmet?
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Right, idiots! Urgh.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37You want some work experience, do you?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Not really, sir.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Oh, really? In which case...tough!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I'm going to give it to you in all its tedious,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47unrewarding, menial glory.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Come here.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Get a line-painting machine off the caretaker.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57I want this marked out on that field by lunchtime. Or else.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Bog roll, eggs, lotion.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09No! A running track.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Ah, ah, ah-ah, ah! So, err...
0:07:11 > 0:07:15alphabetise...shred... copy...post.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18And fill with tea...regularly.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Tea? That's well out of order.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh. So, you're allowed to do shopping in school time?
0:07:24 > 0:07:25That's nice.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Mr Bell.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28I need you to revise the timetable.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31I don't want to see a single teacher with a free period.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Whatever you have to do - split classes, extra tuition...
0:07:34 > 0:07:36let's get Elmsmere really working.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Right. Err, so that's a whole new timetable?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Wow. That's well going to put a dink in your shoe-shopping.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Shhh. By the end of the day, please.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52OK, five minutes everyone...
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Erm, should we do something?- Yeah.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Erm...Josh? Could you, erm...?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Yes!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Will Young! Get in!
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Oh, sorry.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07ON PHONE: 'Hey there, line three. Who are we talkin' to?'
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Hey, man! You can call me J-Hyphen. - No way!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- 'And where are you calling from, J? - 'I'm calling from school.'
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Isaac! Mate!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18It's Josh! He's on the radio.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20'So, where are you a teacher then, Mr Hyphen?'
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Oh, some rubbish community school called Elmsmere Manor.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Or Fowlbury, as we call it.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- 'Tough gig, then?' - Yeah...
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Poor nutrition, bad behaviour, low IQ...and that's just the teachers!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33He's going to get fried for this.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Chill. Who is going to know?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39I mean, it's not as if Ding-Dong listens to Elmsbury FM is it?
0:08:39 > 0:08:43'Who wrote and performed the track Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
0:08:43 > 0:08:47'from the Batman Forever movie? Was it A)...'
0:08:47 > 0:08:51- U2.- 'Is the right answer, you're through to the final.'
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Yes! Yeah!
0:08:54 > 0:08:58..yeah, Mum, I will do, just make sure you don't call me
0:08:58 > 0:09:00at school again.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Josh, he's proper famous.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Oh, Ash, man, look what you've done!
0:09:07 > 0:09:08You've ruined it!
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Chill out, Picasso. We'll just start the bend here.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14No-one'll ever notice.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16This is stressing me out big time.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22So, you three! Show us what you've got.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Erm, nothing really.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I've got this bruise on my thumb.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- You lot are rubbish. - ALL:- What?!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- It's not like it's my fault. - Err, yeah!- It is.- You left!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Oh, really? You can all have detention
0:09:35 > 0:09:36for disrespecting a teacher.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Huh, can he give us detention?
0:09:38 > 0:09:39No, he's not even a real teacher.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Of course I can. I'm in charge all week, innit?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- BELL RINGS - Go on, clear off.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I, erm, I can give 'em detention, yeah?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Sure, of course, but you'll have to supervise them.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55So you just gave yourself detention too.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Awww. Unlucky!
0:09:57 > 0:09:58HE LAUGHS
0:09:59 > 0:10:02So, Mr Greenwood takes Geography on Wednesdays,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and Miss Parkwood will cover French. All done!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07You've got Mr Greenwood on twice.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Ah, ah, ah-ah!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I'll give Geography to Mrs Jones.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- Oh, no, but then... - Give it to Mr Jarvis.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15He well deserves Geography with his stupid fishface.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Ah, ah, ah-ah! Freeze!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Step away from the board.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26All done. Right! I'm going to lunch.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Don't...touch...anything.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Like I want to touch her manky board anyway.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Made it! Didn't take as long as I thought though.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yeah. That's cos it's 30 metres short, you bin-lid.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Trust me, Isaac. Nunn'll never notice.
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Why would I trust you?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54You're an idiot, of course he's going to notice!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Oi, you two!
0:10:56 > 0:10:58What do you call this?!
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I could draw a better bend than that with my eyes shut!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04No? Right, get off, clear the track!
0:11:04 > 0:11:08You lot, get in your lanes. We'll do a quick 400 metres.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11On your marks, get set...
0:11:11 > 0:11:12WHISTLE SOUNDS
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Come on! Put your back into it!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17You said you'd test me for my athletics badge, sir.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Oh, did I? Right - Rodgers! Newman!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Whilst I'm dealing with the actual athletes, you can deal with...
0:11:24 > 0:11:27this. Now, get off the track, you'll get run over.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Come on! Go for it!
0:11:34 > 0:11:39So, if Mr Nunn goes here...
0:11:39 > 0:11:42and Year 8 do History all morning...
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Hiya.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Nice lunch?
0:11:48 > 0:11:52Yes. Yes, well done, Tevanovic!
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Think yourself lucky, lads. You're learning from the best.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Every one of my lads has just beaten their personal best.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01We should tell him that the track's short.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03That'll take the grin off his smug face.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Shame about your wet rag of a specimen.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09I tell you what.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You're going to have to go some if you want to get that
0:12:11 > 0:12:13waste of equipment up to the standard of my lot.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I am not going to have him mock our boy like that.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Well done, my son. You've got your badge!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Nice one!- Yes, Owen!
0:12:29 > 0:12:30But this isn't right...
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Discus, 87 metres?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Javelin, "a really long way"?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40And we haven't even got a pole vault.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44We won't tell 'em if you don't. Well done.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48No! Scout law number one... A scout is to be trusted.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50What are you doing? Don't you want your badge?
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I have to earn it. Properly.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Well, that ain't going to happen, is it? Have you seen yourself?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57You're well rubbish.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Thanks. Thanks a lot.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Have you seen the new timetable? KNOCK ON DOOR
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Come in.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Hi, miss. Erm, what shall I do with these registers?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Oh, give them here. Josh, you don't need to knock any more,
0:13:11 > 0:13:13you're a member of staff now!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Yeah? Nice one, Ems.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Hi...hi...
0:13:21 > 0:13:26Ah, this is way better than sitting outside in the rain at breaktime.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Hey, err, make it a white one with two sugars, please, thank you.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Ah... What a day!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Hey, is it me or are 9C just...
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Oh, the spawn of the living dead.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- I don't know how you guys do it. - Hmph!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I mean, take this morning for example. Three of mine...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44It's music, you can do whatever you like, with whatever you like,
0:13:44 > 0:13:48- and they just came up with nothing! - Huh!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Whose fault is that then, eh?
0:13:50 > 0:13:54Look, Dexter, it's not my fault if they act like they're not bothered.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57If they're not bothered, then it's your job to make them bothered.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00But instead you gave them detention for not making an effort.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02What effort have you made?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Oooh. Looks like you'll be making your own coffee, then.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09# What? It's not like it's my fault
0:14:09 > 0:14:12# Of course kids are bored, this is high school
0:14:12 > 0:14:15# Some kids love lessons, but more of them
0:14:15 > 0:14:17# Are mainly experiencing boredom
0:14:17 > 0:14:20# Only looking forward to one thing, mate
0:14:20 > 0:14:22# 4:00pm when they can get away
0:14:22 > 0:14:23# And I should know
0:14:23 > 0:14:25# I'm the king of these kids
0:14:25 > 0:14:27# In science I sit tryin'a' open my eyelids
0:14:27 > 0:14:30# Course I never liked this, look what I put up with
0:14:30 > 0:14:32# Rubbish teachers, no wonder I'm disruptive
0:14:32 > 0:14:35# And these kids are gonna need some settling
0:14:35 > 0:14:37# Why's it up to me to try and stop 'em thumb wrestling?
0:14:37 > 0:14:40# Please! There's nothing I can do about this
0:14:40 > 0:14:42# There's nothing I can do about this
0:14:42 > 0:14:45# Why should I care? I'm one of these kids!
0:14:45 > 0:14:48# Nope, there's nothing I can do about this
0:14:48 > 0:14:50# But then again this is music
0:14:50 > 0:14:53# And I've always worked hard to produce it
0:14:53 > 0:14:55# So if I really wanna be a rap star
0:14:55 > 0:14:58# Really, really wanna try and take it that far
0:14:58 > 0:15:01# I should be able to make it exciting, to teach music
0:15:01 > 0:15:03# Singing or songwriting
0:15:03 > 0:15:05# Honestly, if I can't do that
0:15:05 > 0:15:08# How could I ever professionally do rap?
0:15:08 > 0:15:09# No!
0:15:09 > 0:15:13# I have to do something about this I have to do something about this
0:15:13 > 0:15:15# I HAVE to care cos I'm one of these kids
0:15:15 > 0:15:18# Yep, I have to do something about this! #
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Why can't we just have normal detention?
0:15:23 > 0:15:28Right. My name is Mr Carter and this is where I have my detentions.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29But we didn't do nothing.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32No, you didn't. And neither did I.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35But I'm sure together we can do a lot better.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36At what?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Oh, we're going to do that composition thing again. Come on.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42What, so we can fail again? What's the point?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44We can't play anything.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47You don't need to. And you're not going to fail.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Forget it. You're wasting your time.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51# Time, time, time, time. #
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- BOTH:- Whoa! It's your voice!
0:15:53 > 0:15:56No, it ain't. Doesn't sound anything like me.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59# Doesn't sound anything like me... doesn't sound anything like me. #
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Cool! # Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. #
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Sick! # Sick. Sick. Sick. - Cool. Cool. Cool. #
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Can't we just hand that in?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Nah. Now it's your turn.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Tell you what, say your name five times in a row.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Fleur, Fleur, Fleur, Fleur, Fleur.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Eleesha, Eleesha, Eleesha, Eleesha, Eleesha.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Eli, Eli, Eli, Eli, Eli.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20NAMES ECHO IN MUSIC
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Come on. Cheer up.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28No! I've just wasted six weeks of training.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29I simply cannot collect a badge
0:16:29 > 0:16:33if the test wasn't done under appropriate conditions.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37OK, look. What if we test you again?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Properly. Could you get your badge then?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Huh, no chance.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42You'll just laugh at me some more.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44No, we won't...seriously.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Although if you drop a shot put on your foot again...
0:16:48 > 0:16:49I will.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54All right, just give up. But it doesn't seem very scoutly...
0:16:54 > 0:16:56all that chat about doing your best.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Fine. I'll see you on the field at lunchtime.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Look, I have just taken a call from a parent who says that
0:17:06 > 0:17:12she heard an Elmsmere teacher on a radio quiz show...
0:17:12 > 0:17:13during school hours.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15You know this new timetable...
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Any repeat of this behaviour will be dealt with in the strictest
0:17:18 > 0:17:20possible manner!
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Nope. It still doesn't make any sense.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Just see Mrs Johnson.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Hey, Dex. The little munchkins.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33I've been working with them and in today's lesson
0:17:33 > 0:17:35we'd like to show you their composition thing again.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Really? Josh, I'm impressed. You might make a teacher yet.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Oh, don't say that.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44Now I got to go home and take a shower. Hah!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Dex, have YOU seen this?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52She's got me down for French. I can't even speak French.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53I went there last year on a school trip
0:17:53 > 0:17:56and I had to ask the kids to get my wine for me.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00Mrs Johnson, could you explain why the caretaker is currently
0:18:00 > 0:18:03trying to teach Ancient Greek?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Why there are Year 8s making meringues on the squash court?
0:18:06 > 0:18:10Well...Mr Bell asked me to make some changes to the timetable.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Ah! I see!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14But I did not write that.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17We may have changed the timetable a little bit.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19But only cos shopping-chops over here got it wrong.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21We was helping.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26I see. So, what you're saying, Mrs Johnson, is that this wheeze
0:18:26 > 0:18:30by Mrs O'Brien to give the children work experience in the school
0:18:30 > 0:18:34has completely ruined my new efficiency timetable.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- You two, on your way.- But...
0:18:38 > 0:18:39OUT!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41I don't even want this stupid job. I don't know even know
0:18:41 > 0:18:44why I flippin' try, nothing ever works out!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Girls!- What?
0:18:54 > 0:18:59I'm sorry your placement didn't work out, but you mustn't be downhearted.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Mr Bell said we're not good at anything. Maybe he's right.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Well, that's very rarely the case.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06And anyway, you can't let one knock back put you off
0:19:06 > 0:19:08the world of work. You must persevere.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Percy-who?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Keep trying. I mean, take your ambition to be a beautician.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15You won't give up on that, will you?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I've already tried loads of places, like at least two,
0:19:17 > 0:19:18and they all said no.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Well, then, you'll just have to try again, ask somewhere else.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22OK. Can I make YOU up, miss?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- Erm...- Wicked. Thanks.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Well, I suppose, if it means that much to you...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- I promise I'll make you look nice for a change.- Thanks.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Don't get too excited though. I am good, but no miracle worker.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It's a shame you can't do your radio show.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Morning, Mr Carter.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Still, at least you tried.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45What are you guys talking about? Of course I'm still doing it.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48I just got to play it smart, and make sure Ding-Dong don't catch me.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57PHONE RINGS
0:19:57 > 0:19:59It's them.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07RADIO: 'Today's the final of The Big Music Quiz
0:20:07 > 0:20:10'and we have our finalist J-Hyphen on the line,
0:20:10 > 0:20:13'live from Elmsmere School where he's a teacher.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17'So, tell me, J, how did you get to be such a music expert?'
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Oh, erm, well...
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Ask him if you can do a shout-out for me nan.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22- Nana...!- Shhh!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25My brother, I suppose. Erm...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28yeah, he's just always really been into music, so
0:20:28 > 0:20:31I guess he took the time to really get me into it too.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35'Nice! Just time to play one more track and then we'll be back with
0:20:35 > 0:20:37'with The Big Music Quiz.'
0:20:39 > 0:20:42All right. Just enough time for me to go take a quick waz.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Hold this, yeah? And, no talking about your nana.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48OK?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Josh! Mr Harris sent us to find you.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59OK. Well, erm, tell him I'll see him later on after our lesson, yeah?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- Right.- Yeah, that's it.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04There's been a mix-up with the timetables
0:21:04 > 0:21:07and our music lesson is now.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08What?
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- But...I...- We need you.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Look, not now, girls, OK? I'm in the middle of something...important.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Oh. Great. Really important. Not like us, then.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Come on, 'Leesh.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34# I ain't lying to them. Those speakers are genuinely important
0:21:34 > 0:21:38# They ain't just some luxury so why is it I'm feeling really awkward?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40# "My brother, yes, he really loved music"
0:21:40 > 0:21:44# Something that I said to that DJ that's making me feel kinda stupid
0:21:44 > 0:21:46# About Nathan and music and what he used to do
0:21:46 > 0:21:49# "He took the time out to get me into it too"
0:21:49 > 0:21:52# Ah, no, that's like THE darkest
0:21:52 > 0:21:55# I'm denying them the thing that got me started
0:21:55 > 0:21:57# Bit of encouragement, genuine interest
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# Passion, having someone I rated that I could impress
0:22:00 > 0:22:03# That was Nathan, my very own brother
0:22:03 > 0:22:06# Prepared to share a music education with each other
0:22:06 > 0:22:08# And without that I wonder where I'd be
0:22:08 > 0:22:11# Cos him and my music were all that ever spoke to me
0:22:11 > 0:22:14# I probably would have skipped school, maybe even dropped out
0:22:14 > 0:22:17# I'd be hanging about the chicken shop now
0:22:17 > 0:22:20# Living like a loser, chewing on one piece
0:22:20 > 0:22:22# Laughing at texts that I should send through a monkeys
0:22:22 > 0:22:25# Cos unless I'm really very, very wrong on this
0:22:25 > 0:22:28# It was a role model who gave me all the confidence
0:22:28 > 0:22:31# That I have today to go and try to grab my dreams
0:22:31 > 0:22:34# Hate to say it, what if Nathan had abandoned me?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36# A little angery would be an understatement
0:22:36 > 0:22:38# Carter Jnr do the right thing. #
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Y'all - wait up!
0:22:44 > 0:22:49RADIO: 'Hello...? Hello? J-Hyphen, you still there?'
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Err...yeah...
0:22:52 > 0:22:57I'm... I'm, I'm still here, err... Whassup?
0:22:57 > 0:23:04Josh Carter! I should have known. Live and red-handed on the radio.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08'Could you play Boogie Wonderland? Err...it's, it's for me nan.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11'Erm, you really need to answer the question first.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13'Come on. For Nana Ange.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16'Look, we might be able to play something for your nan later
0:23:16 > 0:23:18'but first, if you want those speakers...'
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Come on. Scoot!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Sorry.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Josh ain't coming.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31He's got something more important to do.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Say what?
0:23:32 > 0:23:36I mean, what could possibly be more important than me
0:23:36 > 0:23:38spending a bit of time with my munchkins, eh?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45'Can I have a big shout-out for my goldfish Craig, please?
0:23:45 > 0:23:49'Err...if you could just answer the question first?
0:23:49 > 0:23:54'And the question is, which band had a hit with YMCA?'
0:23:54 > 0:23:55You two!
0:23:55 > 0:24:00'That's the wrong answer I'm afraid! It was the Village People.'
0:24:01 > 0:24:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:05 > 0:24:08I know! We were well wicked!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11BELL RINGS
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Yeah. Nah, it's cool... like, sure thing... Nah, no need...
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Eli, Eli! - Unbelievable. They didn't even...
0:24:23 > 0:24:26What, say thank you? That's teaching.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Go on faster, faster... You can do it...and throw!
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Well...?
0:24:41 > 0:24:445cm more than your PB!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Just the 1,500 and you've passed!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50I can't. I'm exhausted.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52It's hopeless. I'm hopeless.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54You can't get your badge without it.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Owen, listen to me very carefully.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Dyb dyb dyb. Dob dob dob.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05We don't actually say that but... thanks.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08That's it, lads.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Get that off the track!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Wait, we've got 1,500 left.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Seven minutes max - that's all we need.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15You reckon THAT can do
0:25:15 > 0:25:18three and three quarter laps in under seven minutes?
0:25:18 > 0:25:19THEY LAUGH MOCKINGLY
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Yeah, I reckon he can.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24You what? You've been a PE teacher for ten minutes
0:25:24 > 0:25:26and you reckon you know more than me?
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Yeah.- Whatever!
0:25:29 > 0:25:34All right...loser has to push a shot put around this track...
0:25:34 > 0:25:36with their nose.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38All right. You're on, Newman.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I'm going to enjoy this.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Come on, my son! Good luck.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Right. On your marks, get set...
0:25:48 > 0:25:49HE BLOWS WHISTLE
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Come on, Owen! Let's do it.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Right, you lot. Get over to the high jump.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56You ain't going to have no nose left.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59The track's 30m short, remember. It's an easy win.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- Come on, Owen!- You reckon?- Go!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05MUSIC: "Chariots Of Fire Theme" by Vangelis
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Go on, lad!
0:26:40 > 0:26:426:57. You've got your badge.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43Well done.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50Don't worry, sir. Might not take you as long as you think.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54On your marks.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Mrs O'Brien. About this timetab-aaaaah...
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Not too much, is it, sir?
0:27:13 > 0:27:16No. If anything, I'd say it's not enough.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Right...
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Oh, you're looking at me? I couldn't tell, what with the...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Oi, you two..!
0:27:39 > 0:27:43Ah. Now THAT is a good teacher.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45- What?! Nunn? - Yeah, give the guy some credit, man.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48He's even got those two running now.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:53 > 0:27:54# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:54 > 0:27:55# Kick you when you're down
0:27:55 > 0:27:57# But when no-one understands them
0:27:57 > 0:27:58# You know what they're on about
0:27:58 > 0:27:59# Always gonna be around
0:27:59 > 0:28:00# Gotta find a common ground
0:28:00 > 0:28:04# If you know so much about me
0:28:04 > 0:28:05# Where do I go from here?
0:28:05 > 0:28:07# If you see 'em every day
0:28:07 > 0:28:08# You can never get away
0:28:08 > 0:28:11# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #