0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #
0:00:37 > 0:00:39This is so boring.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42I'm actually starting to wish I'd done my homework.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45It's all right for you. I'm in here for DOING my homework.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46And have to do it again!
0:00:46 > 0:00:49That's because rude limericks don't count as creative writing.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Ha-ha(!) Well, you don't count as a human.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Don't! That's a serious tool!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57YOU'RE a serious tool.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59WHISTLE BLARES
0:00:59 > 0:01:01CHUCKLING
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Right. Give me that.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08What, my desk?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11The whistle. Show me your hands.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17You must be hearing things, Sir. You're working too hard.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19You. Hands.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Maybe you should have a lie down.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24GIGGLING
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Right! Nobody is leaving this room.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, what?!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Actually... You can all go.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Come on!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Let's go...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41That was my grandad's mountain whistle!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43I KNEW I shouldn't have brought it in.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Don't blame yourself, Owen. Blame me.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47I AM blaming you!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49There you go, then.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Shh!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57OK, let's get your whistle.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05There's something else under here, as well.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Maybe it's your brain...
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- It's really big. - Oh. Maybe not, then.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Welcome, all.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21This year, I'll be personally taking charge of the school fayre.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Mr Bowes, we've got you on cakes...
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Mrs Patel, we've got you on jam and chutney...
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Mrs Carter, you've got jumble...
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Jumble?!
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Yes, there's a few bags already to sort out, there.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42"You're a germ, a maggot, a vile disease...
0:02:42 > 0:02:46"I hope your face gets stung by bees.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48"You ain't nothing but a smear on my shoe
0:02:48 > 0:02:51"Maybe mud, but probably dog poo."
0:02:52 > 0:02:54These are brilliant!
0:02:54 > 0:02:57I'm gonna copy one for my creative writing!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00You can't be serious!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03These poems are FULL of unresolved anger.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05What if whoever writes them finds out?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07What they gonna do? Rhyme us to death?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Careful, Eli - he might poke you with a pen!
0:03:10 > 0:03:14A Biro-related injury is no laughing matter.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Put it back.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17All right, all right.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Anyway, we've still got this to play with...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22No!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25It's MY whistle and you're not having it!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30"I'd like to squish you and hear your shrieks
0:03:30 > 0:03:35"Then everyone'll know how I deal with sneaks..."
0:03:35 > 0:03:37THUD >
0:03:57 > 0:04:00- Why are you spying on me? - I wasn't spyin' on anyone!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03So, what? You just like it under the desk? Is that it?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Course not. I'd snuck in here for Owen's whistle.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07I thought you was Bell.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12So you didn't look at this.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15No?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17What's that? A book?
0:04:17 > 0:04:18No, no.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23There'll be planning, discipline and good...
0:04:23 > 0:04:25I didn't expect to see you here.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26No.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I like to have as little contact with the parents as possible.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32But on this occasion, I have my own agenda.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36What better place to debut my act?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Act? Not that magic thing?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Seriously, Crispin - I know it's your hobby, but...
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Ah, ah, ssh, ssh, ssh! Ah... Oh!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I'll be needing a glamorous assistant. I was wondering...
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Miss Baker?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I don't think Lizzie would.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Are you... Ah! ..sure?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Now, entertainment.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Ah, that'll be me.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Fine. Mr Bell, erm - you can co-ordinate the programme.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Ah, no, no - I mean, I have an act.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09And I will need an assistant.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12I was, erm, thinking, perhaps...
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Miss Baker would like to do it?
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Miss Baker, would you assist Mr Bell?
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Well, I...
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Excellent. We're done here.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27"Darkness, in my brain
0:05:27 > 0:05:30"Vomiting heartache down the drain...?"
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Wow. Wow. That's... Wow.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Do you think? I've never told anyone any of this before.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45I mean, I knew it was good, but it's great to hear you say it.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46No,
0:05:46 > 0:05:48yeah. It's really...
0:05:49 > 0:05:51..deep.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Yeah? Which one did you like best?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Erm... I think maybe...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Crush The Teachers
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Yeah.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I'm really proud of that one.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Yeah, it's...nice.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11You know, writing these poems, they...
0:06:12 > 0:06:15..help me deal with my feelings.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna...
0:06:21 > 0:06:24But coming down here, writing it down -
0:06:24 > 0:06:27it's kind of like a release valve.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Yeah... I... I can get that.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Good.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35So get this, too.
0:06:35 > 0:06:40If I'd heard you'd told anyone about this book,
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- do you know what I'd do...?- Erm...
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I think you said it in a...in a poem - Choke On My Vengeance.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Yeah, I did, didn't I?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54So don't tell anyone.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Of course. No-one will ever know.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00RAPPING: # OW! I'm in real deep now
0:07:00 > 0:07:02# How'd you keep a secret when it's already out?
0:07:02 > 0:07:04# When Owen and Eli already know!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# Clem's a volcano and she's gonna blow!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08# I got to get to both the boys first
0:07:08 > 0:07:10# Before the worst comes to the worst
0:07:10 > 0:07:12# Now they know, but I'll pretend that they didn't
0:07:12 > 0:07:14# Or I'm gonna suffer a fate worse than prison
0:07:14 > 0:07:16# Made my decision This remains secret
0:07:16 > 0:07:17# Not one soul round here's gonna peep it
0:07:17 > 0:07:19# Clem trusted me So I'll get slayed for
0:07:19 > 0:07:21# Any little hint that I mighta betrayed her
0:07:21 > 0:07:23# Gotta stop this! Ain't even funny
0:07:23 > 0:07:25# Before Eli starts performin' 'em for money
0:07:25 > 0:07:28# Those poems are gonna stay buried Risks - with this, won't take any! #
0:07:28 > 0:07:31SINGING: # Seems like I'm
0:07:31 > 0:07:34# In real deep this time
0:07:34 > 0:07:36# I'm in trouble, man!
0:07:36 > 0:07:39# I can't lie
0:07:39 > 0:07:42# I'm in real deep this time
0:07:42 > 0:07:43# I'm in trouble, man!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46# Seems like I'm
0:07:46 > 0:07:49# In real deep this time
0:07:49 > 0:07:51# I'm in trouble, man
0:07:51 > 0:07:53# I can't lie
0:07:53 > 0:07:56# I'm in real deep this time
0:07:56 > 0:07:58# I'm in trouble, man. #
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I'm late!
0:08:16 > 0:08:17Er - no, no, no, no - hang on.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Sorry. Registration...
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Oh, I hate jumble!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Oh, hello, Mrs Carter.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29How's it going with your bit - assisting Mr Bell?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh, you would NOT believe...
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Yeah, he does tend to rub people up the wrong way.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I'd be happy to swap, if it would help?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40You WANT to be his assistant...?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Well, I'm sure I can assist with whatever he needs doing...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Sure. Why not?
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Eh!
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I need to talk to you...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Remember that book of poems...?
0:08:56 > 0:08:57Oh...
0:08:57 > 0:08:58This one?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Why have you got it here?!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I went back for it before school started
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and I thought I could copy one of the poems for my English homework.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Listen.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10Do NOT do that under ANY circumstances.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12- OK?- Oh. OK.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Bit of a problem. I've already handed it in.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39BELL RINGS
0:09:39 > 0:09:42It's Clem's?! You're serious?
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Yeah, and we gotta get it back
0:09:43 > 0:09:45or things are gonna get a whole lot more serious.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57Whose is this...?
0:09:57 > 0:09:58- His!- His!
0:09:58 > 0:10:01No, it isn't...! Why me?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03It's always me!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Seriously, though, Sir, it isn't mine.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08So it's nobody's, what a surprise.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10I guess it'll have to go into Lost Property, then.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15What just happened? What just happened there...?!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17We gotta think of something.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19We need to get the book back before Clem gets angry again
0:10:19 > 0:10:21and needs to write more poetry.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24But...ain't she ALWAYS angry?
0:10:26 > 0:10:30You want us to work at the school fayre? For FREE?!
0:10:30 > 0:10:31It's called volunteering, Clem.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35It's called slavery. What's next? People trafficking at jumble sales?
0:10:36 > 0:10:40I'll run that past Miss Andress. And now I have to go.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Got us out of that one. You're welcome.
0:10:46 > 0:10:47Yeah. Shame, though.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Cos we coulda done one of them things where you lock
0:10:49 > 0:10:53a teacher in the stocks and everyone pelts wet sponges at them.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Say that again...?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04So, we want to volunteer for the school fayre.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07No. Never.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I need people who are reliable.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Course. That's us.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13We love doin' that.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15We ARE that.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Whatever IT is.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22It means if you say you're going to do it, you have to do it.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26Look - do you want to raise loads of cash, or not?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31You will NOT let me down.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54KNOCK AT DOOR
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Welcome to the magical world of mystery!
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Here's your costume.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05What are you doing here?
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Where's Miss Baker?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10No!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Well, has he got it...?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Yeah. He's reading it. - OK. So here's the plan.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20You go in there, go for his bag and get it back.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- Why do I have to do it? - Cos you look the most like a poet.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Er, I'm the poet, remember? My limerick?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30There once was a teacher named Bell Whose bottom gave off a weird...
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Ssh! OK, OK! You're the poet.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34You go and get it back!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36What are you lurking here for?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oh. Hello, Miss Andress.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42We're...collecting jumble
0:12:42 > 0:12:44for my aunt.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Yeah! Oh, that jacket's seen better days. Er, can we have it...?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51We'll come back later...
0:12:55 > 0:12:57I thought she meant Entertainments Assistant,
0:12:57 > 0:12:59not a magician's little helper!
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Yes, well, I'd be happy if you swapped back.- Good.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, on second thoughts...
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Dex, have you got that book?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- Yeah, what d'you want it for? - It's Owen's, yeah.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Basically, he doesn't want anyone knowing he does poetry,
0:13:15 > 0:13:18but if you give it to me, I can give it back.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Erm, it's a little bit more complicated than that, Nero.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22What d'you mean?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Sign up to get pelted, sir?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25What?!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Er, I'll... I'll catch you later.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31We're gonna chuck water at you.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Sign here.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35It's a great idea, but I think I'll pass.
0:13:45 > 0:13:50Look, Miss, it's really simple - you just tick your name and sign here...
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I know how it works, Fleur - I just don't want to be
0:13:52 > 0:13:54drenched by jeering teenagers.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Argh! Why are all teachers so SELFISH?!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02OK, I went to Dexter's flat last night, I went through his bag,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05I done Lost Property - I don't know what he's done with it.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Maybe you'll be OK.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Maybe Clem won't reach poem-level anger ever again.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Miss Baker?
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Thank you.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Owen. You're wanted in the head's office.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27You wanted to see me, Miss?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Owen. Please come in.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34We've had a chance to read a bit of your poetry.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41It's, erm...very interesting.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Well, you see, the thing is...
0:14:44 > 0:14:47You really don't have to make excuses, Owen.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50This is a caring and supportive environment.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54This is Mrs Hazel, our Student Welfare Officer.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57I think you might benefit from a little one-to-one...
0:14:59 > 0:15:04So, do you want to tell me how it felt when you wrote Dear Morons?
0:15:05 > 0:15:06No.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Nobody's judging you here, Owen.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Really? Because it kind of feels like YOU'RE judging me.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Have you always been this defensive?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22I dunno. Have you always been this passive aggressive?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Look at that. No mention of us.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Tombola, yes.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Look, even the Lucky Dip, which is rubbish!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43No mention of our magic act?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, you haven't done this very neatly at all.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Have you at least got the quick-release padlock?
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Yes!
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Great.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Slowly, slowly.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57This is all Andress, you know.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Another one of her attempts to undermine me.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Well, the poster's done now, there's nothing you can do about it.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Isn't there? We'll see about that.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07And up!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Yeah?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Ready!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26And...
0:16:26 > 0:16:28release, ah!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Release!
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Release!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- Are you pressing the button? - Oh, yes!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41You can't tell them the truth! We ain't got the book back yet!
0:16:41 > 0:16:45I don't care! I've just been in therapy -
0:16:45 > 0:16:47for two hours!
0:16:47 > 0:16:48She's gonna call my parents!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Hold it,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52wait here - I've got an idea.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53No.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Whatever it is, Nero, no, OK?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57No!
0:16:59 > 0:17:01So, these are my poems, you see.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Sometimes I feel like I'm just gonna...
0:17:04 > 0:17:08But when I write it all down, it's... It's kind of like a release valve?
0:17:08 > 0:17:12I see... Thank you, Nero.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14No, thank you, Mrs Hazel.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17It's been really good talking this out.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22So, er... Do you think I could have my book back,
0:17:22 > 0:17:24cos without it, I couldn't...
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Of course! You must continue writing all of this down.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31We've made real progress here today, Nero.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33We really, really have.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Miss... We got a problem.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49No-one wants to get all soaked.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52So, we're gonna have to jack it in, whatever.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Try not to be TOO disappointed.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I'm not.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Because you said you were going to do it, so you'll do it.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01But none of the teachers want to...!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Then you'll have to go in the stocks yourselves, won't you?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Try not to be TOO disappointed.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- RAPPING:- # This was s'posed to be fun
0:18:09 > 0:18:11# Like when you knock on a door and then run
0:18:11 > 0:18:13# Or when you dress piglets up as athletes
0:18:13 > 0:18:15# And make 'em do the high jump
0:18:15 > 0:18:16# Now this won't be no fun at all!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18# Me with me head inside a wood wall
0:18:18 > 0:18:19# Wet things hitting me nose and me eyes
0:18:19 > 0:18:22# I need those for seeing and smelling, it's not right!
0:18:22 > 0:18:25# Right. This is Eleesha's fault If only she didn't ever need to talk
0:18:25 > 0:18:29# We would never have heard the idea Dumbest idea I've heard all year
0:18:29 > 0:18:30# Now we're here, all cos of her
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Every single thought she has is absurd
0:18:32 > 0:18:34# Nothing smart ever comes out of her face
0:18:34 > 0:18:36# Why were we friends in the first place? #
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- SINGING:- # Wow! We've gone and done it now
0:18:38 > 0:18:41# Really wanna blame someone
0:18:41 > 0:18:43# But what have we done?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46# Yuck! We've gone and messed this up
0:18:46 > 0:18:48# Wanna name and shame someone
0:18:48 > 0:18:50# But what have we done?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51# Disaster!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54# So furious, I shoulda known these two weren't serious
0:18:54 > 0:18:55# Dumb idea weren't never gonna work
0:18:55 > 0:18:57# And this plan's really gonna hurt in reverse!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59# Scuzzy old teachers? Chucking stuff at me?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01# Bet Andress the Dictator is happy
0:19:01 > 0:19:03# Wanna stay cool but I don't know how
0:19:03 > 0:19:04# I gotta write a poem, like, now!
0:19:04 > 0:19:05# WOW! #
0:19:06 > 0:19:10She's gonna poem! We've got to get the books back!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Slow her down!
0:19:13 > 0:19:14This way!
0:19:22 > 0:19:23WHISTLE BLARES
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Loud, isn't it? That's because this whistle was...
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- There you are.- Ah!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Nero, Miss Andress wants you.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07How are you feeling now?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Um... Fine?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13This has been a tough year for you, Nero.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I had no idea it was this bad.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19He feels abandoned by his parents.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22It's affected him very deeply.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Hang on - I never said that...!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26It's OK, Nero. We're here for you.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29The question is, how can we best help you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Well... I've already got my therapy, haven't I?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37The poems.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Artistic expression can be very therapeutic.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Exactly!
0:20:41 > 0:20:45We ARE looking for students to show off their work at the school fayre...
0:20:45 > 0:20:46What a good idea.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48He could read a poem out to everyone.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Really deal with his feelings.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Oh, lovely.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Excellent. Nero, what do you say?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59# Hey, it's going to be OK
0:20:59 > 0:21:01# With every passing day
0:21:01 > 0:21:02# You don't have to be ashamed
0:21:02 > 0:21:04# We're here for you
0:21:04 > 0:21:06# So, no matter where you go
0:21:06 > 0:21:08# When you start feeling low
0:21:08 > 0:21:10# Be confident and know
0:21:10 > 0:21:11# We're here for you. #
0:21:11 > 0:21:13RAPPING: # This is way worse than a fight for your life
0:21:13 > 0:21:15# Everyone is being so nice and polite!
0:21:15 > 0:21:16# And I just don't know if I can take it
0:21:16 > 0:21:19# Trapped by kindness I might not make it!
0:21:19 > 0:21:20# Read out the poem or go into therapy?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22# Either way this could be the end of me!
0:21:22 > 0:21:24# This ain't helping - it's impossible!
0:21:24 > 0:21:27# Who ever knew being helped could be horrible? If this is help
0:21:27 > 0:21:30# I'd rather be screamed at Do lines in detention - I need that!
0:21:30 > 0:21:31# Cos this is just creepy
0:21:31 > 0:21:33# Never woulda thought kindness could defeat me?
0:21:33 > 0:21:37# I can't have a psychologist Poking around in my brain about this
0:21:37 > 0:21:38# Asking me stuff about my mum
0:21:38 > 0:21:40# "When's the last time I sucked my thumb?"
0:21:40 > 0:21:42# No way is that the way I'm going
0:21:42 > 0:21:44# Guess I'll just have to read that poem
0:21:44 > 0:21:46# And if I gotta do it on stage at the fayre
0:21:46 > 0:21:48# Chances are Clem won't even be there - and if she is
0:21:48 > 0:21:50# When I read the main rhymes
0:21:50 > 0:21:52# I'll just make sure she ain't there at the same time
0:21:52 > 0:21:53# Yeah. It'll be fine...
0:21:53 > 0:21:55# Right? It'll be fine.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57# Right? #
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Yeah, sure.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Guess how many sweets in a jar!
0:22:31 > 0:22:3220p for a go.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Estimate the number of microbes on the soiled pants!
0:22:37 > 0:22:40How many lice do you think are on the infested socks!?
0:22:40 > 0:22:4220p a go. Fun for the whole family!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47It's not very busy today. Where do you think everyone is?
0:22:57 > 0:23:01I still think a proper assistant would wear the leotard.
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Where's your hat?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I thought I'd leave it till later.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Well, put it on now. I'm gonna go and mingle.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Might do a bit of street magic.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11What's this?!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13It's a poster for the fayre.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15With me on it, where I belong.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18So you just replaced all the official posters, did you?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Is there a problem? - I don't know.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Maybe the fact there's no DATE or TIME on it
0:23:23 > 0:23:26could explain why NOBODY's come to the school fayre!
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Not bad!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Grab those chains and that lock.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46I'm up next. Get on with the plan.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What plan?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49To get rid of Clem!
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Oh, don't worry, it's all in hand.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I'm up any moment. Get on with it!
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Oh, yes!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Right, time's up. Your turn, Eleesha.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04But I've already been in.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Well, I ain't going in.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Yeah, you are. We've done it.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Yeah, but just cos you've done it...
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Clem, you've got to come, quick!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Some kids...are...
0:24:15 > 0:24:17being oppressed...
0:24:17 > 0:24:19by the tombola!
0:24:19 > 0:24:22And girls aren't allowed on the raffle.
0:24:22 > 0:24:23Ha! WHAT?!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'd better go check this out.
0:24:25 > 0:24:26No way...
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Huh! We've done it. You're doing it.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32And there's no way out.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Oh, I think you'll find that there's ALWAYS a way out...
0:24:37 > 0:24:38for a master of magic.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Perhaps a demonstration.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Burton, out.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51HE CLEARS THROAT
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Murphy, lock me in this,
0:24:55 > 0:24:57tight as you can.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Use that.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Don't worry. I'm sure everyone will be impressed.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I shouldn't tell you this, but see those two guys over there?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13They're local poets. I invited them along to see you.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Isn't that great?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Yeah(!) Poets!
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Awesome!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Now, satisfy yourselves... that I am truly helpless.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30We're satisfied.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33No, wait, you're, you're supposed to use that lock...
0:25:33 > 0:25:34Why? Got our own...
0:25:37 > 0:25:38LAUGHTER
0:25:43 > 0:25:45This is us set up for the day.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Ladies and gentlemen.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Abracadabra!
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Who's that?
0:25:57 > 0:26:01And now, we're very proud to present Nero Johnson,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05who very bravely agreed to read one of his poems with us today.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Can I have a bit of quiet, please?
0:26:07 > 0:26:11This is Nero expressing something very personal.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12I think you'll all be impressed.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41There once was a teacher called Bell
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Whose bottom gave off a weird smell
0:26:44 > 0:26:47It stank like blue cheese
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Mixed with old mushy peas
0:26:50 > 0:26:53And made everyone unwell.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Hey! That was MY poem!
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Shut up!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58You were supposed to read Clem's!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01WHAT?!
0:27:01 > 0:27:04You...told...everybody?!
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Just don't get angry.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Just try... Try writing a poem!
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Sponge fight!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- RAPPING:- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick them out
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# When you're up, they rub it in your face
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- # Kick you when you're down - When no-one understands them
0:27:36 > 0:27:39- # You know what they're on about - Always going to be around
0:27:39 > 0:27:40# Gotta find a common ground
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# If you know so much about me
0:27:43 > 0:27:45# Where do I go from here?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47- # If you see 'em every day - You can never get away
0:27:47 > 0:27:50- # Only time that you're boss? - 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #