0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #
0:00:35 > 0:00:38I mean, why do we have to go to some stupid parents evening?
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Unless I missed the memo, it's not kids and parents evening.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44And it's not even in the evening.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48One lie after another. That's a corrupt dictatorship for you.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Sitting there while teachers lay into us well gives me the wobblies.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54I mean, I already know I'm a gobby underachiever.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56They don't have to go on about it.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59After the last thingy, my parents refused to buy me a terrapin.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Mine banned me from throwing coins at my brothers.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Course, if we all just kept our noses clean,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05we wouldn't be worrying about it like this.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Ah, keep talking, Lambchop.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10The holding pen for mindless sheep is that way.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Ah, sometimes it pays to have your parents in another country.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17My mum and dad left me in a shoe shop once.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19- It were well sad.- Sad?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22While you losers are being dragged round here, I'll be at home,
0:01:22 > 0:01:25doing whatever I like.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Chika-boom.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37The thing is, love, parents evening
0:01:37 > 0:01:41is like reffing a football match between sharks and chickens.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43There's no depth of water to facilitate that.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Either the chickens would drown, or the sharks wouldn't be able to swim.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49What? No! The point I'm making is that half want to tear your face off
0:01:49 > 0:01:52and the other half don't know why they've come. It's terrifying.
0:01:52 > 0:01:57Why not picture them as something totally ridiculous, and not scary?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Such as?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Gnomes. Babies. What about clowns?
0:02:02 > 0:02:03- Don't mention...- Clowns?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- What's wrong with clowns? - Stop saying the word!
0:02:06 > 0:02:07I just...hate them.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11The creepy smiles. The little cars. The buckets of shredded newspaper.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Why is there newspaper in the bucket?
0:02:13 > 0:02:16You can't put out fire with paper! It's highly combustible!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Everything all right here?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Have I got something on my face?
0:02:28 > 0:02:33Oh, dear. Seems like you're the only clown round here, Harris.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34Get it?
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Oh, they're here!
0:02:41 > 0:02:44All right? Anyone give me a hand?
0:02:44 > 0:02:45What are you doing here?
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Mel needed a break from Moses for a few days.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Mum said I could come here. You all right, Nero? Cuz.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52Little cuz.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55How's my handsome grandson?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Oh, he's looking more like his daddy every day.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- That's impossible. You said he was handsome.- Funny.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03What is that evil squonk?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06He needs his nappy changed.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08There's a fresh one on top of the bag, Ma.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11And in case he needs a feed, Mel's prepared two bottles,
0:03:11 > 0:03:12they're at the bottom.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Boom! Who's ready to get whipped at Soccer Legends IV?
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Nathan.- Huh?
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- Nappy.- But you said... - I said MEL needed a break.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23What about MY break?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26You don't get one now you're a dad. Not until he's 25.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Owned.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Eurgh...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Ugh!
0:03:39 > 0:03:42How can one baby make so much mess?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Little Mo's got you by the scruff.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Hey! Now, one day you will have children, my friend.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50And I will be there, pointing and laughing.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Hey, how come you and Mum never talk about Dad?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Dunno. Not really much to say.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Well, I mean, like - there ain't even any pictures of him anywhere.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Maybe Mum doesn't want reminding.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12He did walk out on her, you know.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Yeah, but he is our dad.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Like, you can't just pretend he never existed.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20What's brought all this on?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, it's not the first time I've been thinking about this, Nathan.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27And every time I bring it up, no-one seems to want go there.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30The less said about that man, the better.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Well, I don't even know the full story.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33At least you remember Dad.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Yeah, I remember him.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39I remember him being a total waste of breath.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Yeah, I remember him walking out on us and leaving us with nothing.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43That's what I remember.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Look, you know what? You want to know the story?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I'll tell you the story.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00# 1998, I was 12 years old
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# First time I felt my world turn cold
0:05:02 > 0:05:04# I was sat right here playing on my Gameboy
0:05:04 > 0:05:06# Who knew from that day I'd never be the same boy?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08# I heard one voice raised, then two
0:05:08 > 0:05:10# One was Mum's, one was you-know-who
0:05:10 > 0:05:12# So I peeped through the hatch to the kitchen
0:05:12 > 0:05:14# Turned off my console and had a little listen
0:05:14 > 0:05:15# They're screaming at each other in the worst way
0:05:15 > 0:05:17# Mum said, "You got nothing for your son's birthday?"
0:05:17 > 0:05:19# He storms through and takes off his watch
0:05:19 > 0:05:21# One thing I never forgot, his hands were hot
0:05:21 > 0:05:23# He gives it to me, but he's looking at the door now
0:05:23 > 0:05:25# "Happy birthday, son," he says, "this is yours now"
0:05:25 > 0:05:27# Then he grabs a bag and just leaves
0:05:27 > 0:05:30# Time stands still, man, I just freeze
0:05:30 > 0:05:33# Wondering if you're going to make it back
0:05:37 > 0:05:42# Pondering if I'm going to take you back
0:05:44 > 0:05:45# Kept hold of the watch for a while
0:05:45 > 0:05:47# Waiting for Dad to come back with a smile
0:05:47 > 0:05:49# Looking out the window, thinking I'll see him again
0:05:49 > 0:05:51# Spring, summer, autumn, winter, then it's spring again
0:05:51 > 0:05:53# Another birthday - is this from him though?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55# No, so I'm back at the window
0:05:55 > 0:05:57# At Elmsbury, in the year 2000
0:05:57 > 0:05:59# We put time capsules in the ground and
0:05:59 > 0:06:01# It was supposed to reflect our surroundings
0:06:01 > 0:06:02# For the future children, when they found 'em
0:06:02 > 0:06:04# All the kids? They were there with their folks
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# Except for me, I was there on my own
0:06:06 > 0:06:08# I had waited a year for that man
0:06:08 > 0:06:10# Now I was like, "So much for that plan"
0:06:10 > 0:06:11# Took off the watch and I loosened my hold
0:06:11 > 0:06:13# Finally felt it was time to let go
0:06:13 > 0:06:18# Oh, just tell me if you'll make it back. #
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- So the one thing of... - MOSES CRIES
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Sssh!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30The one thing of his that we had was that watch, and you threw it away?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Hey, that watch was an afterthought.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33It must have had some value.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Well, it didn't. - Well, it does to me!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Josh. Josh, wait...
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Moses.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Enjoy parents evening, Dex.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I'll think of you when I'm vibing at home with my number one cuz.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh, Nero. Sorry. I'm such an idiot.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56I didn't like to say, but...
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Had so much going on, I completely forgot. Good news though -
0:06:59 > 0:07:01I'm going to be taking you round at parents evening.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03- What?!- Your auntie felt bad that nobody else could be there,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- so I volunteered. - Wait, no. Dexter, you can't...
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Yeah, really, it's fine. I worked it out.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10By alternating, I should be able to
0:07:10 > 0:07:14fit your appointments in between my other ones. Here's me schedule.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16- I don't need anyone there. - Parents evening is very important.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Without your mum or your dad around...- Exactly.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23Mum and Dad won't be there, so what's the point of me even going?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Thanks, Dex - really appreciate it(!)
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Weren't you meant to be hanging out at home during parents evening?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Yeah, I mean, what is it with you and Mr Harris?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39You're always hanging around each other,
0:07:39 > 0:07:40like two halves of a single bum.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43I never asked him to stick his beak in.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Fleur and Eleesha. Here, please.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Can either of you explain to me why your homework is identical?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Great minds think alike?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Did you copy it off the internet?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Sir, I can't believe you'd accuse me of that.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05We don't even have the internet in my family.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06I copied it off of Fleur.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11She must have done it when me back were turned, sir!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Oh, so you can explain the following to me -
0:08:14 > 0:08:17"Arnold Schonberg's approach to serialism
0:08:17 > 0:08:19"is typified by the enchanting Verklarte Nacht."
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Can we just have detention, call it even?
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Fine with me.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28I thought you said you'd change bits of it!
0:08:28 > 0:08:29I did! I changed the colour!
0:08:31 > 0:08:32You can't just expect us
0:08:32 > 0:08:34to magically know stuff we don't know already.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38There's a difference between finding stuff out on the internet
0:08:38 > 0:08:40and downloading an entire essay, word for word.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44I didn't copy anything off the internet, sir. I swear.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Let's see shall we? Eli, Eli...
0:08:51 > 0:08:55You've all clearly copied the exact same essay from somewhere.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59- Right. New essay for Monday. - ALL: Oh, what?!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Title - Why It's Wrong To Copy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Oh, don't worry - that's BOUND to be on the internet.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I want three sides on my desk by Monday.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09No excuses and no similarities.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13So, first you ruin my day. Now you ruin my weekend too.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Seriously, man, you're the Ultimate Cussknocker.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Textbook Dexter. He gets off on ruining people's lives.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Do you find it unnerving that someone cares about you?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25Do you find it unnerving
0:09:25 > 0:09:27that someone wants to shove you in a locker?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- At least we DID the homework. - I know. What more does he want?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I can't be stuck wasting time on an essay this weekend.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36I was going to go build an igloo out of mud.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40- We should waste his time. See what he feels about it.- Yeah.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Parents evening! Let's proper botch up parents evening for him.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Yes!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Trust your dad to own a watch.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51The way the other half live, eh?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Some of us have to guess the time.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Point is, if Nathan didn't want the watch
0:09:55 > 0:09:58he could've at least kept it for me.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Hey, do you reckon you could bunk off for a couple of hours?
0:10:01 > 0:10:02What for?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04I can't dig it up on my own.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- You're serious?- As a killer whale.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08I can't just walk out of here.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11Listen, that time capsule will be full of priceless antiques.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13I just want the watch. The rest is yours.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16What if I get fired?
0:10:16 > 0:10:20This job is ace. I get free tea and my own broom.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Well, just tell Andress you went to buy a new broom.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Yeah, all right.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35This is your old school?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I knew it'd be posh.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39It's so posh, it don't even look like a school.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Well, obviously this isn't the school.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Dexter burned that down at Nathan's wedding.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45They must've built this over the summer.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48It's weird thinking my dad's watch is in there somewhere.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52And there's probably a house on it. Houses are well heavy.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Oh, stay frosty.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56With the Carter luck, we'll probably be digging in a garden.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57We can't dig up someone's garden.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59If we get caught, they'll set the police on us.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Oi!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Clear off.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04We weren't doing anything. Stop accusing us of things.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Please excuse him, sir. People in uniforms make him paranoid.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09No, they don't. Who's told you that?!
0:11:15 > 0:11:20Goldilocks tasted Baby Bear's porridge and it was just right,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23so, she ate it a-a-all up.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28So basically, Goldilocks was a burglar.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30I mean, the bears are the victims here.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34MOSES CRIES Oh, Mo. Come on, man.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Give me a break.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Hey, Josh!
0:11:38 > 0:11:41How'd you like to spend a bit of quality time with your nephew?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Oh, looks like you've got everything under control...
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Dad.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Come on, mate, please.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49I'm desperate for the loo, he won't let me go.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Enjoy your quality time, yeah?
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Josh!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I can't wait any longer, Mo.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00You're going to have to come with.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Come on, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh. Ssh, ssssssh.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Right, so this is the old Elmsbury site.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15It's posh even from the air.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Is that a peacock?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Trust your school to have a peacock.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20It's a bush.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Ooh, la-di-dah. A bush.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Anyway...
0:12:25 > 0:12:29So, the time capsule was placed to the right of this pillar...
0:12:30 > 0:12:34The road's still there, pillar's still there.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Ah, which means...
0:12:36 > 0:12:39The time capsule's going to be here.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40X marks the spot.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Well, basically, too much messing about, poor focus,
0:12:56 > 0:13:02hopeless fitness, lousy timekeeping and he always wears a scruffy kit.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Any positives?
0:13:04 > 0:13:08OK, erm... Try not to be too down about your utter
0:13:08 > 0:13:10lack of athletic ability.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- Got it.- Great. So...
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Let me just write that down now.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Too...
0:13:16 > 0:13:19much...
0:13:19 > 0:13:21messing...
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Sorry, Harris - are we boring you? - No, no, no, no.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25I'm just running a little bit late for my own appointments.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oh - couple of quick questions.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Say I wanted to become a PE teacher, what would I need to do?
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Well, that is a big question.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Suppose you need to be a very special man...
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Oh, hi, Owen's mum.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Hi, Eli. I...didn't know you were a prefect.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- He's not.- Jealous much?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47The music room's this way.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52Mr Harris is actually holding meetings in the staff room.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- No, he isn't. - Change of venue at the last minute.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57The music room was...infested.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00With swans. Evil swans.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Don't listen to them.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04We're prefects. We would know.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Across the playground, through the doors, and it's on the left.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Thank you very much.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Wait here.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16How's it going with Harris?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I dragged out my meeting with Nunn to 20 minutes.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Proper boggled his schedule.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23Sorry I'm late. I got caught...
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Next term, we'll be studying weather systems.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34We'll be doing an in-depth project on clowns,
0:14:34 > 0:14:35- looking at various types of... - Clowns?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- Wh... Where?! - No, just then. You said clowns.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41I said clouds. I definitely said clouds.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I know I did, because it's... It's a cloud project.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Clouds. Nothing else.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49# My first ever parents evening
0:14:49 > 0:14:50# Feels like one that I'm scared to be in
0:14:50 > 0:14:52# Why do I feel so nervous?
0:14:52 > 0:14:55# It's the thought of those guys from the circus
0:14:55 > 0:14:56# And I'm not going to say the word cos
0:14:56 > 0:14:58# There's a chance it might send me berserk and
0:14:58 > 0:15:00# I need to stay professional
0:15:00 > 0:15:02# This is not the time for a confessional
0:15:02 > 0:15:04# But the nightmare I just can't shake
0:15:04 > 0:15:05# The white make-up, the smiley face
0:15:05 > 0:15:07# The green hair, under the hat that's so tatty.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09# And why on earth are they always so happy?
0:15:09 > 0:15:11# No-one is ever happy every day
0:15:11 > 0:15:13# To me that's creepy in every way
0:15:13 > 0:15:14# And yes, I know that it's not scientific
0:15:14 > 0:15:16# But they're just something that I find horrific
0:15:16 > 0:15:18# And now
0:15:18 > 0:15:22# My head spins around
0:15:22 > 0:15:24# Down, down, I'm going down
0:15:24 > 0:15:25# And how
0:15:25 > 0:15:29# How strange do I sound
0:15:29 > 0:15:31# When I'm around, round those cl...cl...
0:15:31 > 0:15:32# Don't say it!
0:15:32 > 0:15:33# But am I really that strange then?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35# Could YOU sleep with a clown in your basement?
0:15:35 > 0:15:36# And kids go to see them in shows?!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38# It won't be long before everybody knows!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40# Think it was the big feet that did the damage...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42# Know who I blame though? Mr Harris
0:15:42 > 0:15:44# He's the cause of all this right now
0:15:44 > 0:15:47# Dexter turned my world upside-clown! #
0:15:54 > 0:15:56If you'd just excuse me one moment?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I'm scared. I need a wee.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Well, you should have gone before.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I did go before. Twice.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Are you here about the rats?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14The rats? You didn't say anything about rats.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16They've been in the bins again.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Not our area of expertise.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19We'll take a look though.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22I'm going to use her toilet. I'm busting.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Finally! Where've you been?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Weren't easy getting away from our parents.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I had to pretend a big bee were chasing me.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Yeah well, mine have been in with Andress for about ten minutes!
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Shouldn't you be with yours?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Mine prefer I don't go in with them.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Apparently, I don't let the teachers get a word in.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46You don't say.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Nero, Mr Bell's waiting for us.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Coming, Dex. Ah. Sorry, look, shoelaces.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54- Hurry up!- Safety first.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Thought we'd never get out.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09You're the one who spent half an hour in her bog.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I knocked a pot of talc in the bowl and it wouldn't flush.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Erm...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20OK, yeah. It's here.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Why have I got to do all the hard stuff?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I'm the brains and you're the muscle.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Oh, come on - think of how buff you'll be after this.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33The girls'll love it.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34Fair enough.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Right then, Johnson.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Sorry, Crispin. Running a bit late.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Any chance we can keep this under ten minutes?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Dunno, sir. Do you think you could fit
0:17:44 > 0:17:47everything I've done wrong into ten minutes?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Definitely not.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Look, there's your Uncle Josh.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Could barely even walk and he was already showing off.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35And there I am. Cocky little troublemaker.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Thought I had it all figured out.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Got that wrong.
0:18:50 > 0:18:51Let me get this right.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Even if I never get another thing right,
0:18:55 > 0:18:59please don't let me mess this up.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Are you a hungry boy?
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Oi! What's going on here?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Er... We are... From the council.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18We're just doing some essential water works.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Nobody told me about this.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Ha, typical council, innit.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Left hand don't know what the right hand's doing.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Wasn't it you two I saw hanging around outside earlier?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Yeah... Yeah, we were just, er, doing a quick survey for the site.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34My colleague here left the paperwork at the office.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Why is it always my fault? You never mentioned paperwork.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Right. Well...
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Best leave you to it, then, lads.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47All right then, ta-ra. Have a good day now.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50That was too close.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Yeah, we better get a move on.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04Police, please.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Have you seen my parents?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Your parents, sir? What would your parents be doing here?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17No, not MY parents. The... Never mind.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Carly's dad, isn't it?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I think you've just missed your appointment.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I've been around this school four times looking for you!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'm so, so sorry. I've been a bit over-stretched.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27I had to help out a student with his appointments.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I left work early for this.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Again, I'm really, really sorry. Please.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I couldn't focus on a single appointment, thanks to you
0:20:35 > 0:20:37telling me to picture parents as...those things.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38It was a disaster.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- I was just trying to help. - You didn't. Worst advice ever.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Mr Harris!
0:20:45 > 0:20:46What now?!
0:20:46 > 0:20:48I mean... Yes, Miss Andress?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50What's this I hear about you
0:20:50 > 0:20:52sending parents to meetings in store cupboards?
0:20:52 > 0:20:56- I'm sorry?- You are followed round by a catalogue of utter disaster.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57OK, maybe I took on too much.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59But someone had to do Nero's appointments.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02His parents couldn't make it. I had to be there for him.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05You're his teacher, not his father.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Go to your classroom.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I'll round up your parents and then you can apologise.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13And then I'll decide what disciplinary action to take.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Anyone else think we went too far?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28CLANG
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Yes, that's it! Come on, give me a hand.
0:21:36 > 0:21:37All right.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53It's ruined. Everything's ruined.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56You said it would be worth something, it's just muddy rubbish.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59SIREN IN DISTANCE
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Right, that's either the police, or a psycho ice cream man.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04We have to go, Josh.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06I haven't found the watch.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09It's ruined, like everything else.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Just leave it, you'll get arrested.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Just go! Run.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Go!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Get out of the hole. Now!
0:22:35 > 0:22:37# Huh, yeah. I think I get it now
0:22:37 > 0:22:39# Nathan's heart had been broken
0:22:39 > 0:22:41# Mum left out in the cold and
0:22:41 > 0:22:42# Now this watch in my hand, man
0:22:42 > 0:22:44# Nothing more than a joke and
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- # Not a funny one at that, man - Look at it
0:22:46 > 0:22:47- # No engraved inscription - Look at it
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- # No diamonds, no value - Look at it
0:22:49 > 0:22:52# Cheap, bog-standard watch - he took the mick!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55# So Nathan was right and now I think I know how he feels
0:22:55 > 0:22:58# This was given out of guilt, not love
0:22:58 > 0:23:00# Love? Should've listened to my bruv
0:23:00 > 0:23:04# He's the closest thing I've had to a dad and who I can trust
0:23:04 > 0:23:07# The fact is this stupid little bit of tat is
0:23:07 > 0:23:10# The only reminder of a man who turned his back with
0:23:10 > 0:23:14# Total disregard for a family who had needed him
0:23:14 > 0:23:17# He's the only reason I ain't had the chance of seeing him
0:23:17 > 0:23:20# So this is hello and goodbye, man, I'm done
0:23:20 > 0:23:23# Cos I'll never see myself as just some fatherless son
0:23:23 > 0:23:27# Mum and Nathan, they're my real family if I'm honest
0:23:27 > 0:23:31# Now I know just what this watch is - a broken promise
0:23:31 > 0:23:36# I think I finally found what I need
0:23:38 > 0:23:43# It was right there in front of me
0:23:43 > 0:23:51# And I should've always knew who to look up to, who to look up to
0:23:51 > 0:23:59# Real family is whoever loves you, whoever loves you
0:23:59 > 0:24:02# Oh, woah-oh
0:24:02 > 0:24:06# Oh, woah-oh
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# Oh, woah-oh. #
0:24:11 > 0:24:13What've you got there?
0:24:13 > 0:24:15The other one's around here somewhere.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17There was no-one else. It was just me.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Come on. Let's go.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29See you tomorrow. Thank you very much.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Hey.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44So, how was parents evening?
0:24:44 > 0:24:45I've had better.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Thanks for coming round with me.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55You're welcome.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Need any help clearing up, sir?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Really? Aw, thanks, guys.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Of course, I still want those essays by Monday,
0:25:11 > 0:25:15and you're all in detention for deliberately wasting my time today.
0:25:15 > 0:25:16ALL: Aw, sir!
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Thanks for helping with the chairs though.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Lovely.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27KNOCK AT DOOR
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Ugh!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Thanks a lot, whoever that is!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Josh has been arrested!
0:25:36 > 0:25:38So, he never said a word?
0:25:38 > 0:25:39It's like he's in shock.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43He is too cute. You must be very proud.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Yeah. Yeah, I am.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56We're letting you off with a warning.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Your brother's offered to pay for the damage you've done.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02What were you thinking? You lost it or something?
0:26:05 > 0:26:06We found this on him.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I owe you one.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Nathan, aren't you forgetting something?
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- It's just an old watch, bin it. - Er...no!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Yeah.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35You were... You were right about Dad.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Guy's a complete waste of space.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Yeah, well - just hope I don't end up the same.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43That ain't going to happen.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I don't know what I'm doing though, bruv.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47And I'm so out of my depth, I need a lifeboat.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Can't even change a nappy without demolishing half the flat.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53You're right about that one - you are pretty bad at it, bruv.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57But, I mean, in all the ways that matter, you've been a great dad.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59How?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01To me, you spanner.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I mean, you've always been around for the important stuff,
0:27:03 > 0:27:05and you've never let me down.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- Well, almost never.- Right.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10And here I am at a police station, picking you up.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Some role model.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Wouldn't have it any other way.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16You're going to be the best dad.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I appreciate that, man. Thank you.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Hey! You going down?
0:27:24 > 0:27:27My uncle got arrested for accidentally stealing a bus
0:27:27 > 0:27:29and we never saw him again.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31They had me and my big brother to deal with.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33A double whammy of the Carter charm.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37Triple whammy, actually. Me, you...
0:27:37 > 0:27:38and Moses.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Yeah. He's starting young. Watch out, world.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44# Can't live with 'em
0:27:44 > 0:27:45# And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:45 > 0:27:47# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:47 > 0:27:48# Kick you when you're down
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# But what no-one understands them
0:27:50 > 0:27:51# You know what they're on about
0:27:51 > 0:27:52# Always going to be around
0:27:52 > 0:27:53# Got to find a common ground
0:27:53 > 0:27:57# If you know so much about me
0:27:57 > 0:27:58# Where do I go from here?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59# If you see 'em every day
0:27:59 > 0:28:00# You can never get away
0:28:00 > 0:28:03# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #