0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Clothes for charity. Donate here.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Lollies for clothes, oyez, oyez.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Is that really necessary? Where'd you get it anyway?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43It's my gran's. She rings it every time she needs the bedpan.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46You two rag and boneheads every heard of dignity?
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Will you still be laughing when we get our fundraising activity badge?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- Yeah.- All right?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Jeggings.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02You do know we're collecting for the same cause?
0:01:02 > 0:01:05HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
0:01:05 > 0:01:07You're disgusting.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Sweeties for sweaters.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Lovely lollies for your under-trolleys.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Stop this infernal riot, Grant.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22You, detention.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- In fact, detention for all of you? - What?
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- Nah, but, sir... - Oh, shut up, Johnson.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Mark my words...
0:01:29 > 0:01:32when I am officially deputy head...
0:01:32 > 0:01:35I'm going to be making a few changes around here.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Surprise.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54No. Is it?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57I saw you looking at it online. It's that design you like, right?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Dexter, thank you.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03I've been wanting it for ages, but their stuff is so expensive.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04It's custom. One of a kind.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I bet.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12It is the right one, isn't it?
0:02:12 > 0:02:17- Yes. Absolutely. Definitely. - Good. See you later.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Thanks again.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Very sweet of you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Is it supposed to look like that?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Or did you spill chemicals all over it?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40You're not actually going to wear it, are you?
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Only it's making me feel a bit sick.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48My nan's got a cardigan like this. Her Chihuahua uses it as a bed.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49It was a gift.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I was going to hang it up here.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01I know what a goalpost looks like, boy, I'm not an idiot.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03This is a jumper. Now put it on!
0:03:05 > 0:03:07He's officially lost it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08If he's like that now,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10what's he going to be like when he's deputy head?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Bell cannot get that job.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Reckon you could get the geek to go for it?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You need to boost his confidence, massage his ego,
0:03:17 > 0:03:19convince Mr Harris he's the right man for the job.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22You mean get inside his head, puff the man up a bit?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Yeah, exactly. Textbook psychology.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Yeah, right.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Seriously, Dex, you'd be an awesome deputy.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32You're already the best music teacher in the school.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34I'm the only music teacher.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37When they've got one as good as you, they don't need no others.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40You could really turn Elmsmere around.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Why do you care so much?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Sometimes you've just got to take a leap of faith.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46I believe in you.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50# Deputy head, eh?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52# It's got a nice ring to it
0:03:52 > 0:03:55# I could bring a bit of musical influence
0:03:55 > 0:03:58# End all cruelty, bring more unity
0:03:58 > 0:04:01# Instead of detention, kids learn to play keys fluently
0:04:01 > 0:04:03# That'll get 'em on my side
0:04:03 > 0:04:04# They can't say that's unfair
0:04:04 > 0:04:06# If I play my cards right
0:04:06 > 0:04:07# I might get an armchair
0:04:07 > 0:04:10# One that spins around with a cat in my arms, yeah
0:04:10 > 0:04:14# I could be the big boss I'd be an awesome one, yeah
0:04:14 > 0:04:15# I need apply
0:04:15 > 0:04:17# If Bell gets in charge, I can't even lie
0:04:17 > 0:04:18# That's the end of any kind of fun in school
0:04:18 > 0:04:20# If Dex gets it, it'll be wonderful
0:04:20 > 0:04:21# Cos Bell's just a monster
0:04:21 > 0:04:22# And under all the shirts, blazers and ties
0:04:22 > 0:04:24# He's a dark under lord that breathes out thunderballs
0:04:24 > 0:04:26# Every single kid trying to run from school
0:04:26 > 0:04:28# He'll take away lunch, no nourishment
0:04:28 > 0:04:30# And bring back corporal punishment
0:04:30 > 0:04:31# I just want a lame old teacher
0:04:31 > 0:04:33# I don't wanna I don't wanna strict one either
0:04:33 > 0:04:34# Have a food fight and there ain't no clean up
0:04:34 > 0:04:36# Dex is tame We could do what we want
0:04:36 > 0:04:37# Shorten the school day Cancel the homework
0:04:37 > 0:04:39# Kids at the white board teaching the grown-ups
0:04:39 > 0:04:40- ALL:- # They don't know that I'm in charge
0:04:40 > 0:04:42# Little do they know that I'm in charge
0:04:42 > 0:04:45# I'll soon show that I'm in charge I'm in charge, I'm in charge
0:04:45 > 0:04:46# No, they don't know that I'm in charge
0:04:46 > 0:04:48# Little do they know that I'm in charge
0:04:48 > 0:04:51# I'll soon show that I'm in charge I'm in charge, I'm in charge
0:04:51 > 0:04:53# If I get this position
0:04:53 > 0:04:54# It would mean better living
0:04:54 > 0:04:55# Change my life for the better
0:04:55 > 0:04:57# Like start a family with Lizzie
0:04:57 > 0:04:59# That is what I envision
0:04:59 > 0:05:00# To afford a big kitchen
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# Have a family meal
0:05:02 > 0:05:03# I would be a good parent
0:05:03 > 0:05:06# That takes making decisions of course
0:05:06 > 0:05:07# Yes, I've got to take a chance
0:05:07 > 0:05:09# Confidence can take you far
0:05:09 > 0:05:10# Be responsible
0:05:10 > 0:05:11# Man up and take charge
0:05:11 > 0:05:13# Man up and take charge
0:05:13 > 0:05:14# Man up and take
0:05:14 > 0:05:16# Man up and take charge. #
0:05:20 > 0:05:23All right, I'll do it. I'll apply for the deputy head job.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Oh!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29OK, look, I'm happy because you're going to be mint, innit?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Go on.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Two lollies, please.- Yeah.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Make that...
0:05:41 > 0:05:42COUGHING
0:05:42 > 0:05:44..four.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Sure.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Thank you.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Are you going to share them? - Nah, I might need 'em.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55OK, I'll get my own, then.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Good.- Good.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01This floor is well sticky.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12Lizzie? Have you got any old lab coats you don't want?
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Liz?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Eh...
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Get your lollies.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Here you go.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42That is rank.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44It's like a knitted migraine.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Who'll give me five for it?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53It's not a competition, Eli.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Except it is, but you won't admit it's one
0:06:55 > 0:06:58because you can't handle a proper one.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Ooh-kay! See you later, then.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Right, here's the deal.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09We take everything we collected today down to the charity shop
0:07:09 > 0:07:11and tomorrow we start from scratch. Whoever collects the most
0:07:11 > 0:07:13by the end of the day is the winner. Happy?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Bring it on.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Are you sure you don't want any?
0:07:30 > 0:07:31MICROWAVE DINGS
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Johnson, could you ask that man to pass me the salt, please?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Dexter...- Crispin, this is silly.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Johnson, could you tell him that I am going to eat this in the lounge
0:07:54 > 0:07:58so that I don't have to look at his back-stabbing, traitorous face.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Get that?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Maybe I shouldn't have applied for the job.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Listen...you're the best candidate and you know it.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Tell them all your skills and hobbies.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20They want to know that you're a well-rounded person.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Everything is relevant.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Stamp collecting.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27It shows that you're organised and focused and good with...
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Boring, repetitive. Let's forget about stamp collecting.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Mrs Goodman also wants ten ideas to improve Elmsmere.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39OK. OK. Off you go, then. First things that come to mind.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Em...
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Paint the main gates a different colour.- No.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- New blinds in the staffroom? - No.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Nicer...doors?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- Ugh, this isn't working. - It's cos you're thinking small.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55You just need to think bigger, come up with mad ideas
0:08:55 > 0:08:57and, you know, fire up your brain.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01OK. How about replace history with live historical re-enactments.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Yes.- Bulldoze the playground.- Yes.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Yes. - Turn it into a battlefield.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- That's excellent. - And bring in tanks.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11HE IMITATES EXPLOSIONS That's it! That's it.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15You need to come up with the most insane, craziest, maddest ideas
0:09:15 > 0:09:18and then write them all down,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21throw them away and work backwards from there.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24You know, if I get this job, we should go out and celebrate.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- That'd be nice. - You could even wear your new cardie.
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Fingers crossed.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Dexter's ideas for improving Elmsmere?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51OK.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- Ready to go?- Yeah.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03BELL RINGS
0:10:05 > 0:10:08My mother's travel scales - pinpoint accurate.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12She's never paid for excess baggage in her life.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16And I...have got my secret weapon.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19More lollies?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Bigger lollies.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Booyah.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Hey, Owen, if I've got the heaviest bag at the weigh-in,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33do you think they'll make me patrol leader?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42# This is charity - all for one, and one for all
0:10:42 > 0:10:44# Everybody's in for the same cause
0:10:44 > 0:10:45# To help others
0:10:45 > 0:10:46# It's not about ourselves
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# But Eli's made it a competition now
0:10:49 > 0:10:51# Can't he see it's not all about winning?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54# I'm going to beat him so he learns the lesson
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# I'd only be doing it to save the world from Eli
0:10:57 > 0:10:59# When he shows off to get with the girls
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# And how dare he say he's above me in the Scouts' rank?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04# I am the Super Scout, times a thousand
0:11:04 > 0:11:07# And I'll stop him from winning, won't fumble
0:11:07 > 0:11:09# There's no rules in the law of the jungle
0:11:09 > 0:11:10# Yeah
0:11:10 > 0:11:15# This is the law of the jungle
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- BOTH:- # Scavengers, predators
0:11:17 > 0:11:19# There's no rules in this habitat, ever
0:11:19 > 0:11:21# It's harsh because
0:11:21 > 0:11:25# This is the law of the jungle
0:11:25 > 0:11:27# There's winners and losers
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# There'll only be one winner - guess who it is
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# This isn't about winning, it's about honour
0:11:32 > 0:11:35# Owen underestimates my Scout valour
0:11:35 > 0:11:37# And the rest of the troops do, too
0:11:37 > 0:11:39# But wait till I show them what I can do
0:11:39 > 0:11:40# I'm a winner
0:11:40 > 0:11:42# Yep, I win all day
0:11:42 > 0:11:44# I win when I'm asleep, I win when I'm awake
0:11:44 > 0:11:47# I'll get the most clothes at the end of the day
0:11:47 > 0:11:49# And everyone will cheer when I do my parade
0:11:49 > 0:11:51# Because
0:11:51 > 0:11:56# This is the law of the jungle
0:11:56 > 0:11:57# Scavengers, predators
0:11:57 > 0:11:59# There's no rules in this habitat, ever
0:11:59 > 0:12:01# It's harsh because
0:12:01 > 0:12:06# This is the law of the jungle
0:12:06 > 0:12:07# There's winners and losers
0:12:07 > 0:12:09# There's only one winner - guess who?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11# It's me! #
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Bet you can't guess what I'm thinking.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18No idea.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Thankfully.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Oi.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25You know that came out of a bin?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Get over yourself, Bake-Off.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I got this from a posh vintage shop -
0:12:29 > 0:12:31it cost ACTUAL money. And don't pretend you're not jeal -
0:12:31 > 0:12:33I can see it in your stupid gnome face.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Lies!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37I gave it to them boys, and you got it from the charity shop.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Oh, my actual days!
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Like I'd go to the charity shop
0:12:41 > 0:12:44and spend, like, £5.99 on a dead person's cardigan.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46For my life - I ain't you!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48SHE CLICKS HER FINGERS
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Anyway, what I was thinking was...
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Er...
0:12:54 > 0:12:56No, it's gone!
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Thanks for sharing.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Oi, Isaac! You got any old overalls?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22You'll have to be quicker than that!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24ELI GROWLS
0:13:26 > 0:13:30We usually keep these for idiots who've forgotten their kit.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33You do know that I'm one of those idiots, don't you, sir?
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Yeah, obviously. Idiot.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37RAPID FOOTSTEPS
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Sir? How would you like to help the underprivileged?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Too late!
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Here you go.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Owen said to boost his confidence.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Now Dexter thinks he can do no wrong!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Tanks? In the school?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Robot guards?
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Aerial drone patrols?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Chaining us to our desks?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00He doesn't actually think he can do all this, does he?
0:14:01 > 0:14:03We can't take that chance.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05We HAVE to break his confidence.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10I mean, I actually know less about music since taking your class.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14You're making us more stupid.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18I didn't realise you felt like this.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19What's going on here?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23We were just telling Dexter how much of a rubbish teacher he is.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25It's like being taught be a clown!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Yeah, all right, girls...
0:14:27 > 0:14:29cut the man some slack, yeah?
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Have some respect.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35HE SIGHS
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Hey, Dex...
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I made a mistake.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40What about?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42About you going for the deputy head job.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Look, you don't have respect.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Maybe you're right.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Um...
0:14:48 > 0:14:52I should probably tell Mrs Goodman I'm withdrawing my application.
0:14:58 > 0:15:02- Meditating with me, it would be just lovely.- Thank you.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Um, Mrs Goodman, could I have a word?- Yes.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10I've, er, recently updated my CV,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13and I've listed all my various skills and hobbies.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Oh.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Huh. I never knew you could ride a horse.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Or speak Italian!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Molto bene!- Oh!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26I think you'll find my credentials stack up quite well
0:15:26 > 0:15:28against the other candidate.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Ah, well, there is no other candidate.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34I'm afraid Dexter's just dropped out of the running.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36He has?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39So we just need to watch you doing some teaching,
0:15:39 > 0:15:42and then we'll sort out your new salary and perks.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43I can't wait.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I'm looking forward to really defining my role.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53This new deputy head job - how much of a raise are we talking, exactly?
0:15:57 > 0:16:01My new cardigan - the one that Dexter got me? Have you seen it?
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Oh, that well-ugly one. I thought you hated it.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07It cost a fortune. It'll break his heart!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Oh!
0:16:10 > 0:16:13So your sister breaks Dexter's heart,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16finds out it was your fault, then she breaks YOU.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Is that about the size of things?
0:16:18 > 0:16:22# This problem's like a horrid bit of knitting
0:16:22 > 0:16:25# It's all tied up in knots, I'm not kidding
0:16:25 > 0:16:29# That cardigan was the ugliest thing I've ever seen
0:16:29 > 0:16:33# I couldn't think of something worse in a bad dream
0:16:33 > 0:16:36# I took it from the bin, it wasn't mine to give away
0:16:36 > 0:16:40# And then I had the cheek to swap it for a lolly
0:16:40 > 0:16:42# I'm sorry, now Lizzie needs it back
0:16:42 > 0:16:46# Dexter bought it as a present and he'll think she hated it
0:16:46 > 0:16:50# If she's not got it round her shoulders, he'll say that's a wrap
0:16:50 > 0:16:52# And Lizzie will be left heartbroken
0:16:52 > 0:16:54# Who's to blame for that?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58# I think we all know the answer to that
0:16:58 > 0:17:01# So I've gotta get it back now
0:17:01 > 0:17:02# You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:02 > 0:17:04# Gotta get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:04 > 0:17:06# You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:06 > 0:17:08# Gotta get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:08 > 0:17:09# You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:09 > 0:17:11# Gotta get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:11 > 0:17:13# Can't see Lizzie heartbroken
0:17:13 > 0:17:15# Got to get this cardigan
0:17:15 > 0:17:16# First I gave it to the boys
0:17:16 > 0:17:18# # They gave it to charity
0:17:18 > 0:17:20# What's the chances Ingrid bought it?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22# Now she wears it casually
0:17:22 > 0:17:23# Evidence leads back to me
0:17:23 > 0:17:25# If Lizzie knew, she'd actually
0:17:25 > 0:17:27# Probably never speak to me
0:17:27 > 0:17:29# Forever be mad at me
0:17:29 > 0:17:31# If she sees Ingrid in it, I'm dead meat!
0:17:31 > 0:17:32# You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:32 > 0:17:34# Gotta get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- # How?! - You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:36 > 0:17:37# Gotta get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- # Now! - You gotta get a cardie back
0:17:39 > 0:17:41# Got to get a, gotta get a cardie back
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# Can't see Lizzie heartbroken
0:17:43 > 0:17:45# Got to get this cardigan. #
0:17:48 > 0:17:50PHONE CAMERA CLICKS
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Eurgh, move! I've got to put these online,
0:17:55 > 0:17:57and I don't need you floating around in the background
0:17:57 > 0:17:59like a weird balloon.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01I wasn't meant to sell that cardigan.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02I need it back. It was a mistake.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Well, you're a mistake. LOL!
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Out loud.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I'll give you double what you paid for it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:1150, or you ain't having nothing.
0:18:11 > 0:18:1450?! I ain't got that kind of money.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Then what are you even wasting my time for, you povvo?
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Crispin, this is Judith, one of our brilliant governors.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30So, are you all set for us to observe your lesson?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Well, yes.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34It's Cold War Britain - 1945 to 1951 -
0:18:34 > 0:18:36one of my personal favourites.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Oh. How would you feel about giving an impromptu Italian lesson?
0:18:43 > 0:18:44You want me to teach them Italian?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Yes, well, since you speak it fluently...
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Oh, yes.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Molto bene.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Er, ciao.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57Arrivederci.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Oh, fantastico.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09You. Go to the library and get me a book on basic Italian. Now.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- Name?- Eli Grant.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19You have an overdue book.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- ELI SIGHS - That book was rubbish.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27You put a lion in a wardrobe, right, you're going to make it angry.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30You know how many people that lion attacked? None.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32TWO YEARS overdue?!
0:19:33 > 0:19:34There's a fine.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Let me off the few pence - I'm in a hurry.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40£68.25.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42- HE CHUCKLES - What?
0:19:46 > 0:19:47DOOR OPENS
0:19:51 > 0:19:52What's this?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Oh, she would only give me one.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Basic Italian Cooking?
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I need a language book.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Are you ready, Crispin?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Yes. Just finalising my lesson plan.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Italy.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Rome.
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Pasta.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Spaghetti.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Who here knows any Italian words?
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- Pizza. - THEY LAUGH
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Pizza.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Um, what about you?
0:20:33 > 0:20:34Er...
0:20:34 > 0:20:35garlic bread?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37LAUGHTER
0:20:37 > 0:20:38And you?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Sono nato in Italia. Ben al Italiano, Senior Bell.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Er...
0:20:48 > 0:20:49I'm sorry?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I was born in Sicily, sir.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Well, well...
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Well, you can...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57keep quiet!
0:20:57 > 0:20:59I'll not have any cheating in this lesson.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03HE SPEAKS FLUENT ITALIAN
0:21:03 > 0:21:04Quiet, boy!
0:21:04 > 0:21:05LAUGHTER
0:21:07 > 0:21:10So, who can tell me the meaning of...
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Cannelloni del frutti di mare?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Not you.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Well, that was certainly interesting, Crispin.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22I wasn't on form.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26And the pressure of today.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28You have to give me a second chance.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30All set, then, love?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32What's going on?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Why are you dressed like that?
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Hasn't she told you?
0:21:36 > 0:21:37I've applied for the deputy head job.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39She's going to interview me.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41What time do you want me?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Nunn? - THEY ALL SIGH
0:21:44 > 0:21:45Deputy Head Nunn?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Normally, I'd say he wouldn't stand a chance, but after THAT lesson...?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Nunn would be a nightmare.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Worst of the lot.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54He's not a very nice man.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56You've got to get Dexter to run for head again.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Oh!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Where'd you find that cardigan?
0:22:04 > 0:22:05I did not "find" it,
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I literally bought it in a real shop.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I thought it was a one-off. Can I have it?
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Have it?
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Er...no.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13That's not how stuff works, Mr So-Called-Thingy.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16All right! I'll buy it off you - how much do you want?
0:22:16 > 0:22:1890.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19What?! That's more than I...
0:22:19 > 0:22:22You ain't the only one offering me money for this, you know.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23It's, like, well in demand.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32Yo, Dexter.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Um...
0:22:34 > 0:22:35What?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37You've got to run for deputy head.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38What's the point?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40No-one respects me - you said it yourself.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Look, I lied.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45You know? We only talked you out of it cos of that weird list you wrote.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47What weird list?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Come on, the one about tanks and robots and drones...
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Oh! That list was just me and Lizzie messing about.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57As if I think those were good ideas.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59What?!
0:22:59 > 0:23:01You really should run for it, then.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Nah.- Come on, Dexter! You're the only option!
0:23:04 > 0:23:07I'm not applying for deputy head. Listen, Nero...
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Forget it, Dexter.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I don't know why I even bothered - you never do ANYTHING for me.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Nero?
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Nero!
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Yeah, 6.5. Same as me.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24It's a draw, then?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Anticlimax, much?
0:23:26 > 0:23:27LAUGHTER
0:23:27 > 0:23:28HE SIGHS
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I guess that makes me as good a Scout as you.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Oh!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36"DUELLING BANJOS" STYLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Oh!
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Phew!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Er, they're still the same weight.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Fine!
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- I- am the best Scout!- I- am!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18You may have won...
0:24:18 > 0:24:20but at least I've still got my honour.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Yeah. And Owen has to go on the bus in his pants.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26LAUGHTER
0:24:32 > 0:24:34It isn't here!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37What have you done with it?
0:24:37 > 0:24:38With what, miss?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Why aren't you wearing proper school uniform?
0:24:42 > 0:24:43LAUGHTER
0:24:48 > 0:24:50This is bad.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57All right, sir?
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Interview?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Get lost, Johnson.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02You done your prep yet?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Eh?
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Prep?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Yeah, prep.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Goodman wants ten good ideas for changing the school.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12You know what?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Dexter's surprisingly done some brilliant ones
0:25:14 > 0:25:16before he dropped out.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Sorry about the smell.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24I didn't have a chance to shower after rugby.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29You're looking as lovely as ever, ladies.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32I do love a powerful woman. Women. Both.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35Ah!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40We can talk money later.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41First, ideas.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45How about aerial drone patrols?
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Robot guards and tanks?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48And that's just for starters.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49Boom!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Unbelievable.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Nero, I...
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Oh, Dexter!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02You haven't come to reapply, have you?
0:26:02 > 0:26:07Because, between us, the job is yours if you want it.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Thank you, but...
0:26:11 > 0:26:12my hands are really full.
0:26:12 > 0:26:17Like I was telling Nero earlier, I'm his guardian - he comes first.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- SHE SIGHS - Oh, well.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Sorry I messed you about, Dex. And, by the way...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33- thanks.- You have to trust me, Nero.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35You're what matters to me the most.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37You and Lizzie.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Yeah, er...about that.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Why are you destroying that?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44This isn't hers, this is another one.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47I can't have her thinking there's more than one.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Dexter, about my cardigan. I have a confession...to...
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Still on for dinner?
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Well, congratulations, deputy head.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05I promise I won't let you down.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- Worth celebrating, I think.- Mm.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Lovely.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12I thought it was appropriate to come to my favourite little Italian.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14(Since you speak Italian.)
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Tu parli italiano?
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Excellente!
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Posso offrirti qualcosa da bere?
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Garlic-a bread.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:34 > 0:27:36# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:36 > 0:27:37# Kick you when you're down
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- # But what no-one understands them - You know what they're on about
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- # Always gonna be around - Gotta find a common ground
0:27:42 > 0:27:45# If you know so much about me
0:27:45 > 0:27:47# Where do I go from here?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- # If you see 'em every day - You can never get away
0:27:49 > 0:27:52# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #