0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- # So the only time is now 4 o'clock- (4 o'clock). #
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Last day of term Last chance
0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Last opportunity to ask someone to the school dance
0:00:36 > 0:00:38# I want to ask Clem I haven't asked yet
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# My gut is saying yes
0:00:40 > 0:00:41# My paranoia's saying
0:00:41 > 0:00:43# Is she even interested?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45# All term it's been weird vibes
0:00:45 > 0:00:46# I didn't get the message
0:00:46 > 0:00:48# So are we mates or are we more than friends?
0:00:48 > 0:00:51# I wanna ask her but I don't want the wrath of Clem... #
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Ahh!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54# It's my last hope if I ask her
0:00:54 > 0:00:55# Will she say yes?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58# Or will she say no-o-o?
0:00:58 > 0:01:02# Or will she swat me like a fly then dust off her shoulders?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# It's the last day Last chance
0:01:04 > 0:01:07# Last opportunity to ask someone to the school dance
0:01:07 > 0:01:10# But I'm not going to do it The whole thing's lame
0:01:10 > 0:01:13# What with all the silly dances and smooching?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15# But there's someone I thought might have asked me, Nero
0:01:15 > 0:01:18# So will he stop and talk or walk past me?
0:01:18 > 0:01:19# And would I even ask him? No way
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# Do I like him like that? I don't think so, mate
0:01:22 > 0:01:23# D-D-D-Do I?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25# But what if I don't ask her to the school dance?
0:01:25 > 0:01:28# I'll have to stay at home and watch Bell shave his underarms
0:01:28 > 0:01:30# In the kitchen sink and if I don't speak to Clem
0:01:30 > 0:01:33# She'll be back next term with her arm interlinked
0:01:33 > 0:01:35# With a six-foot guy All muscly and ripped
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- # What? - I can't let that happen
0:01:37 > 0:01:38- # What? - No, I can't let her slip
0:01:38 > 0:01:41# So today is the day One shot I can't miss
0:01:41 > 0:01:43# Can't blow it Might not get another chance
0:01:43 > 0:01:44# Like this, no
0:01:44 > 0:01:46# It's my last hope If I ask her
0:01:46 > 0:01:49# Will she say yes or will she say no?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51# Yes or no? Yes or no?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53# Who knows? I got nothing to lose
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# I've got nothing to lose. #
0:01:56 > 0:01:59So you're trying to get a date using maths?
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Not maths, economics. Dating is a marketplace.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04The longer I leave it to ask someone to the dance,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07the higher my value will be as one of the few remaining single men.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09By tonight, I'll be Mr Popularity.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Mr Potato 'Ead.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14She'll be back. Who are you taking?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Amy Jenkins, the...
0:02:16 > 0:02:18woman of my dreams.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Amy?
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Amy?
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Amy?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Amy?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- Amy?- Good.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Try not to leave her on the bus like the last one.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Oh, I'm ready. The flowers, the chocolates -
0:02:31 > 0:02:33she won't know what hit her.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35LAUGHING AND CHEERING
0:02:40 > 0:02:43All the boys in this school are totally pathetic.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45None of them are asking me to the dance
0:02:45 > 0:02:47just cos I'm moving to Croydon.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Maybe it's not because of that.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Maybe it's cos you're a bit loud and awful.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55What's she being like that for?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I thought you were my friend.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59We sat together in one French lesson,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02and now whenever you see me you go off on one.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Well, you two just lost the best friend you NEVER had.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07See ya.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Well gutted(!)
0:03:10 > 0:03:12This dance is sending everyone loco.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Yeah, and that's why I ain't going.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17What you staring at, Leesh?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20Will you just ask him out?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Too scared.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Nate Rogers is a god,
0:03:24 > 0:03:26and I'm a mere mortal.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Right, I'll do it for you.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Oh, no. Hide me.
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Hide me!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38# Uh-huh-huh You ain't nothing but a hound dog
0:03:38 > 0:03:40# Crying all the time
0:03:40 > 0:03:43# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
0:03:43 > 0:03:45# And you ain't no friend of mine. #
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Yeah!- Whoo!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Wow! That was brilliant.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Yeah, you see the thing about Elvis is that it's all in the hips.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's smooth and subtle, like an oiled snake.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Uh-huh-huh.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00I'm sure the kids will love it.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Being a health and safety monitor
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- seems a bit dull compared to all this.- Aw.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Well, why don't you join the band? - Really?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Fantastic idea.- What do you say?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- All right.- Brilliant.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Although I've never played a musical instrument before.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18THEY SIGH
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Oh, well, maybe next year, eh, love?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Why don't you play...the triangle?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26You have to hit it with a little stick, and it makes a tinkle sound.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- I'm not a complete idiot.- Of course.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Let's take it from the T-O-P.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35All right, fam? What's up?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Date planning. Who you taking?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Ah, now that'd be telling.- I bet it's Clem - you well fancy her.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh, come on, no. Me and Clem are just friends.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Well, good, cos it looks like you just missed your chance.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48He said "yes"!
0:04:48 > 0:04:49Aw...man.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Oh, well, there's plenty more fish in the sea.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54If you want to dance with a haddock.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59I wasn't going to ask Clem out anyway.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00I was going to ask...
0:05:02 > 0:05:03..her.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Ah, that grumpy-looking lass I've never seen you talk to
0:05:05 > 0:05:07in my whole life?
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Come on, man. I've been waiting for my moment.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Now watch your man go in for the kill.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Yo, I've seen you around here.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Why's that? Have you been stalking me or something?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30No, look, I...I just thought...
0:05:30 > 0:05:32you're single, I'm single,
0:05:32 > 0:05:35I was just wondering if I could take you to the dance?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Aw, really? That's so sweet.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46If this is a joke, I'm going to throttle you. Hard.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Ooh.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Clem. Kudos on the new boy.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Is he a boxer, or is he just born with that weird mashed-up bonce?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I ain't got no new boy.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Yeah, right - I saw you asking out Nate Rogers.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Yeah, for Eleesha.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Are you jealous?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09No, like, I've already got a date.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Yeah, right(!) Like who?
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Nero?!
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Who's this?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Katie, this is Clem. Clem, this is...
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Katie...
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Nero's date...
0:06:22 > 0:06:24so back off.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28No worries. He's all yours.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33# I coulda been dating Clem but ain't nothing going on
0:06:33 > 0:06:35# Can I vent? I'll be stuck at a dance with Katie
0:06:35 > 0:06:37# Rather be twirling around with a girl with a temper
0:06:37 > 0:06:40# That's Clemster, but I messed up and now she's gone till September
0:06:40 > 0:06:42# And now I've got to run around pleasing the bossy girl
0:06:42 > 0:06:44# And I don't know what I'm in for
0:06:44 > 0:06:48# Oh, no, this ain't what I imagined to happen
0:06:49 > 0:06:52# I saw Nero on his own
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# But he'll be there with someone
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- # Katie - What a lousy love triangle
0:06:57 > 0:07:01# Problem is, they're a couple That leaves me the undeniable loser
0:07:01 > 0:07:04# Not that I wanted ZERO to ask me to go
0:07:04 > 0:07:07# But he should've asked first and I could've said no
0:07:07 > 0:07:11# It's a complicated love triangle
0:07:11 > 0:07:13# It's not even love
0:07:13 > 0:07:16# But it's complicated
0:07:16 > 0:07:19# Why aren't I the favourite? Favourite?
0:07:19 > 0:07:20# I've got to do something to win back Clem
0:07:20 > 0:07:22# Dump Katie, ask her instead
0:07:22 > 0:07:23# I shoulda danced under the pale moonlight
0:07:23 > 0:07:25# Better ask quick while I still got time
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- # Can't have Nero thinking - I- can't get a date
0:07:27 > 0:07:31# So I better go and find a fake soul mate. #
0:07:32 > 0:07:35- PA:- 'Dress rehearsal. Onstage. Five minutes.'
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oi, you. You fancy me?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39No. I promise.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Please don't hurt me!
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Dimmock.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Oi. Shakespeare?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49You got a date for tonight?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50No, dear heart.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52For verily, I am a bachelor.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Well, guess what? You do now.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Meet me by the bins at six o'clock.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00All right.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Textbook.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14What?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17It was like that when I got it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21HE SIGHS
0:08:23 > 0:08:25This place is bleeding me dry.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Thank you.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30AMBER: Uh-oh.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34It's just a crease.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Oi, sir?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Thingy's...doodah's all, erm...
0:08:39 > 0:08:41creasified.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Textbook. Hand it over.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Sorry, I can't. It's in my locker.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49On my desk by four o'clock.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Otherwise, there'll be a £5 fine.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54And a detention.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56BELL RINGS
0:08:58 > 0:09:01So where are you going to get a clean book from?
0:09:01 > 0:09:04The same place Bell gets them - the history cupboard.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Yeah, of course, as long as we're lying,
0:09:06 > 0:09:10let's become criminals into the bargain.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12You're only a criminal if you get caught,
0:09:12 > 0:09:14and that ain't going to happen.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Why?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Because you two are going to keep lookout. Laters, potatoes.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21AMBER: Keep your eyes PEELED.
0:09:21 > 0:09:22THEY GROAN
0:09:22 > 0:09:25# You ain't nothing but a hound dog
0:09:25 > 0:09:28# Crying all the time Uh-huh-huh
0:09:28 > 0:09:30# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
0:09:30 > 0:09:33# But you ain't no... # TRIANGLE CHIMES
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Sorry.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36OK, let's try it again.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39On the count of three.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40- One, two... - TRIANGLE CHIMES
0:09:42 > 0:09:44No, on the count of three.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46One, two, three...
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Sorry, on the count of three or on three?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51It's just counting, love. It's not rocket science, is it?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53And even if it was - you're a scientist!
0:09:53 > 0:09:54BELL RINGS
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Least someone's got good timing.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00This is so much fun.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01See you guys later.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Sack her.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10This is my night, and that tin-eared twit is ruining it.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- I can't sack Lizzie.- Oh, because you're too much of a wuss?- No.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Look, Dexter...
0:10:15 > 0:10:18I think you should have an open and honest conversation
0:10:18 > 0:10:20with her about her future in the band -
0:10:20 > 0:10:23her lack of future.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25In other words, "Man up, twinkle."
0:10:30 > 0:10:32So, what you going to do?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35What do you think?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Dump Katie, ask out Clem.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Whoa, you can't just dump her. If there's one thing
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- studying psychology has taught me... - Here we go.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45..it's that aggressive individuals are often compensating
0:10:45 > 0:10:46for a deep inner pain.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48She IS a deep inner pain...
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- in the bum, am I right? - Relax, yeah?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53By the time I'm finished,
0:10:53 > 0:10:55she's going to think she dumped me.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02You asked anyone to the dance yet?
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Not yet, but with each fresh heartbreak, my stock is rising.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09By tonight, I'll be James Bond.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Ah! Ah-h-h!
0:11:14 > 0:11:15CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Mwah!
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Yes?
0:11:29 > 0:11:31We're waiting for Amber.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33She's...in the toilet...
0:11:34 > 0:11:37..doing a really long...
0:11:37 > 0:11:38wee?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Stop loitering, and get to your lessons.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Well done, Darnesh(!)
0:11:53 > 0:11:56You guys seen Katie? Year below, blonde hair?
0:11:56 > 0:11:57Bit feisty?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Are you sure you want to talk to her?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04She is not a happy bunny.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07You're right. So if you see her, can you tell her
0:12:07 > 0:12:10I cannot take her to the dance any more? Thanks.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Uh, we aren't dumping her for you.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15She's already vexed cos no-one will ask her out
0:12:15 > 0:12:17cos of you-know-what.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- "You-know-what"? - Didn't she tell you?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23She isn't going to be around for much longer.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- How much longer?- Two weeks, tops.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- Then?- Gone.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Why didn't anyone tell me?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36She's going to die?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40That's what they said - two weeks, then...
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Classic - lashing out to hide her pain.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44You can't dump her now, you might finish her off.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46I'll have to take her to the dance.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Like a sexy Make-A-Wish Foundation.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You could always ask out Clem next year.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Except she'll probably have a boyfriend by then.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56But if you snog Katie, she might leave you something in her will.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Eli? Next time, leave the counselling to the professionals.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16LOCK RATTLES
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Where is everyone?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32So, bad news -
0:13:32 > 0:13:34turns out the stage isn't safe.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36We've called off the performance.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Oh, no.- Yeah, really gutted.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41But the last thing we want
0:13:41 > 0:13:43is someone falling through cos of woodworm.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Woodworm?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48No-one told me about any woodworm.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- I'm telling you now. - This could be well serious.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54I'll have to do a thump check.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58LOUD THUMPING
0:14:04 > 0:14:06HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
0:14:15 > 0:14:17HE SIGHS
0:14:24 > 0:14:27It's all right. This baby's rock solid.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32So the show's back on?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Brilliant.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Unless you've changed your mind about being in the band?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38No. Can't wait!
0:14:38 > 0:14:39Great.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45KIDS LAUGH AND SHOUT
0:14:45 > 0:14:46PHONE RINGS
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Erm, Violet speaking.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Darnesh isn't here right now.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54He had to go...to Majorca. Very sudden.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56I know it's you, you idiot,
0:14:56 > 0:14:59and thanks to you, Mr Bell's locked me in the history cupboard.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01He locked you in the history cupboard?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Ha-ha-ha!- You laughing?!
0:15:03 > 0:15:08No...I'm thinking. Is there one of those little grid-y things?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Air vent? Yeah, there's one in the wall. Why?
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Climb in it.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15You're joking me.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Settle down!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18CLASSROOM QUIETENS DOWN
0:15:18 > 0:15:23You'll pop out in the lift or the boiler room. I promise.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I did almost the exact same thing in my last school.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28You better not be hoaxing me.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Er... I'm going through a tunnel.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- HE MAKES CRACKLING SOUNDS - Bye...
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Until tonight's revelries, dear heart, adieu.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Seriously, you're going
0:15:43 > 0:15:45on a date with an extra from Horrible Histories.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Yeah, so? I like him.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Why didn't you tell me? We can double-date.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Come to mine tonight. You can borrow one of me tiaras!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Chin up. It's just the woman of your dreams
0:15:58 > 0:16:01walking out your life, probably forever.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02Thanks, Eli(!)
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Later, loners.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11You told her to do what?!
0:16:11 > 0:16:13It's OK, I've done it before.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- PHONE RINGS - Loads of times.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Well, once.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20This'll be her now, telling me everything's hunky-dory.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21You out yet?
0:16:21 > 0:16:23You said you'd done this before!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- I did.- And?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29I got stuck, too. A teacher had to get the fire brigade.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32I'm going to kill you, Darnesh.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34At least Ding-Dong left the key in the door.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Yeah, you could've been here till next term. In a way, you got lucky.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Does it look like I got lucky?!
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Just give us a minute to work out how to get you out.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Thanks, Vi. At least I know someone's got my back.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53You're taking photos, aren't you?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- No, course not!- As if.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01SHE PLAYS TRIANGLE TUNELESSLY
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oi! What's Yoko doing here?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Playing the triangle, like we agreed.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11No, we agreed she's a total car crash
0:17:11 > 0:17:14and you were going to give her the boot.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Perhaps you could lead the applause?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Guys, I'm not sacking Lizzie.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20We're a band. We stick together.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21SIGHING
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Then I bid you farewell.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Good luck. You're going to need it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Sorry, pal, but either she goes or I go.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Ha-ha, I can see who wears the trousers here - a girl.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Oh, well. There's always next year.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46You're not going to give up, just like that.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- We can't do the show, just the two of us.- Why not?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You on vocals, me on percussion.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53SHE HITS TRIANGLE
0:17:53 > 0:17:56This is our chance to prove our critics wrong.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Unless...you agree with them?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- No! N...- Great.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Let's make tonight unforgettable.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08SHE HITS TRIANGLE
0:18:10 > 0:18:12SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:18:19 > 0:18:21DANCE MUSIC
0:18:24 > 0:18:27That is quite an outfit.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Amy's quite a woman. Still no date?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Romance is like a supermarket, Eli.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35The best deals are to be had just before closing time.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Fleur, last chance not to spend the night as a sad, old singleton?
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Shut up, woggle.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Uh, it wasn't a no.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Here she comes. Wish me luck.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50HE PATS HIS BACK
0:18:55 > 0:18:56GIRLS LAUGH
0:18:59 > 0:19:00I don't believe it.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03I remembered the flowers, the chocolates, everything.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05So what happened?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Forgot to ask her out.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09MUSIC: Starships by Nicki Minaj
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Where's the band?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20We're the band.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- Just you two?- Yeah.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27We can still go on like this, can't we?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30I mean, obviously, I hope so.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Well, unfortunately, it's too late to book a replacement.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Yippee!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- You feeling all right?- Fine.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40What's the worst that could happen?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42You get bottled off stage,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45you never work as a music teacher ever again?
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Enjoy!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58CAR HORN BEEPS
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Yeah, keep doing that not-smiling thing.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Super-cool. Well Kate Moss.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Oh, my days.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I know. Why didn't you get me a limo? Tightwad.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30MUSIC CONTINUES
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Isn't this the best night ever?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41MUSIC: Wild Ones by Flo Rida featuring Sia
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Ooh! I love this one.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50What ails thee, madam? Thy brow is...furrowed.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Yeah, cos I need a drink.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00SHE SIGHS
0:21:00 > 0:21:03And then I'm like, "Who are you calling minging?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05"You're the minging one."
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- Are you listening?- Yeah.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13That's such a cool story. You should tell more people about it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Like Fleur.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17- You trying to get rid of me?- No.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22I just want you to have a really good night.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- You haven't got long left so... - Nero, relax.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27It's not that big of a deal.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Wow, you are really brave.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Well, you have to make the best of things.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Croydon, ah, well.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Apparently they have a big Nando's, so...- Croydon?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Fleur and Eleesha, they...
0:21:41 > 0:21:43..they told me you were dying.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46And you believed THEM? You idiot.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52You know what? You're right. I am an idiot. Yeah, um...
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- I don't deserve you.- You dumping me?
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Think of it as me setting you free to...find someone better.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I think Owen is single.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Are you kidding me?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Garland?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13You're such a skeeve, Nero Johnson.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15I'm going to make sure everyone knows it.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17MR HARRIS: Something a bit different now - some rock and roll,
0:22:17 > 0:22:20taking a synthesiser and a triangle.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23This is our first performance as a two-piece, so please go easy on...
0:22:23 > 0:22:25FEEDBACK
0:22:25 > 0:22:27All right, listen up.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Nero Johnson is a dirty, two-faced lying worm who tried to dump me
0:22:31 > 0:22:34on our first date, because he found out I wasn't dying,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36just moving to Croydon.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Well, guess what, Zero? You ain't dumping me, cos I'm dumping you.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41LAUGHTER
0:22:42 > 0:22:43That's right, boo.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46BOOING AND LAUGHTER
0:22:52 > 0:22:56Dumped in front of the whole school. Ouch.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Hey, where are you going?
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Sorry, my lady.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Thou art a vision of perfection,
0:23:03 > 0:23:06but my heart's been enchanted by her fiery soul.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11You're chucking me? For her?
0:23:11 > 0:23:12Basically.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Soz!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Come on. Me or an early exit?
0:23:24 > 0:23:25It's no contest, surely?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I don't get it - they still don't want to date me,
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- even though I'm the only guy left. - Women, eh?
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Tell me about it.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37MUSIC: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Well, since it's just the two of us,
0:23:40 > 0:23:44would you do me the honour of helping me scoff these chocolates?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Eli, it would be my pleasure.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Oi, Eli, Franjit's gone home with a dodgy tummy.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Fancy a snog?
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Sorry, mate, I... might be needing them after all!
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Tragic.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08All right! There's no need to rub it in.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Come on, let's have a dance before I start crying.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13It worked!
0:24:15 > 0:24:19- No touching!- Right. Yeah, OK.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31- Tough night, eh?- You could say that.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Well, at least you didn't get flamed in front of the whole school.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39Yeah, I got dumped by a complete dingbat. Lucky me.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41You can do better.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46Nah, I'm done with dating. What's the point?
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- The way I see it, you're better off on your own.- Look, Clem...
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I'm going to go. See you next term, yeah?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55If I bother coming back to this toilet.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01I just want to say...
0:25:02 > 0:25:03HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:25:07 > 0:25:08..do you want to...
0:25:10 > 0:25:12..get those jokers off stage?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Get them to play some proper music?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Yeah.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21BOOING
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Stop that! Ow! Ow!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Ow! My eye!
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Classic.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32This is going to get more hits than Korean Man Headbutts Jellyfish.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33SHE KEEPS PLAYING TRIANGLE
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Thanks for the freak show, but we'll take it from here.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Yo! Elmsmere!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Give us a shout if you want to hear some proper music.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47CHEERING
0:25:47 > 0:25:50- OK, on three. One...- Two...
0:25:50 > 0:25:55- # Yeah, uh-huh - Oooh... Yeah
0:25:55 > 0:25:58# It was a term a full term's an adventure
0:25:58 > 0:26:01# They see a big smile like your grandma's dentures
0:26:01 > 0:26:02# The good news is I'm here
0:26:02 > 0:26:04# I thought I'd have to head out of town
0:26:04 > 0:26:06# But I'm glad I stayed here with Dexter
0:26:06 > 0:26:08# A marriage to remember
0:26:08 > 0:26:10# Me and him still haven't worked out
0:26:10 > 0:26:13# Whether we're mates or more than friends or not
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- # Or what? - Forget what I just said
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- # It's been emotional, Elmsmere - Enough said
0:26:17 > 0:26:20# With the ups and downs me and Lizzie stayed together
0:26:20 > 0:26:23# And loves beams down no matter the weather
0:26:23 > 0:26:26# A perfect match maybe one day in wedlock
0:26:26 > 0:26:29# In spite of him putting my dad in a headlock
0:26:29 > 0:26:33# Remember when I saved you all from impending doom?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35# Zombie apocalypse a hero rescued you
0:26:35 > 0:26:38# We've had our highs and lows for everything
0:26:38 > 0:26:41# It's great in my eyes you know, as long as we're mates
0:26:41 > 0:26:46# Dates are cool but mates are what matters
0:26:46 > 0:26:51# When the going gets tough we'll stay friends forever
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# Stay friends stay friends, come on
0:26:53 > 0:26:57# Dates are cool but mates are what matter
0:26:57 > 0:27:04# When the going gets rough we'll stay friends forever
0:27:04 > 0:27:06# Mates get you out of air vents
0:27:06 > 0:27:07# In the worst case
0:27:07 > 0:27:10# Even if they got you stuck in the first place
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Mates cheer you up when your date stands you up
0:27:13 > 0:27:16# Because they never were your date you forgot to ask
0:27:16 > 0:27:19# Mates put you first when no girl shows an interest
0:27:19 > 0:27:22- # And you're the last man on Earth does that sing?- Yes!
0:27:22 > 0:27:24# Romance does look pretty dapper
0:27:24 > 0:27:27# The limos, the ballgowns the glitz and the glamour
0:27:27 > 0:27:30# But truthfully my eyelids wouldn't batter
0:27:30 > 0:27:33# Unless I've got my mates cos that's what matters
0:27:33 > 0:27:35# Yeah, mates cheer you up when you've been dumped
0:27:35 > 0:27:39# And make a fool of themselves so you don't look like the only one
0:27:39 > 0:27:44# Dates are cool but mates are what matter
0:27:44 > 0:27:50# When the going gets rough we'll stay friends forever. #
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick them out
0:27:53 > 0:27:55# When you're up they rub it in your face
0:27:55 > 0:27:56# Kick you when you're down
0:27:56 > 0:27:59- # But when no-one understands them - You know what they're on about
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- # Always going to be around - Got to find a common ground
0:28:02 > 0:28:06# If you know so much about me where do I go from here?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- # You see them every day - You can never get away
0:28:09 > 0:28:11# Only time that you're the boss - 4 o'clock. #