0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# You should stay, it can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# There's good days and bad days
0:00:23 > 0:00:24# But one day down the line
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# This time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# So the only time is now - four o'clock. #
0:00:31 > 0:00:34I should still be in bed now, this is whack.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Will you please stop moaning?
0:00:35 > 0:00:37I can't believe I live with a teacher
0:00:37 > 0:00:38and now I have to lug boxes for one.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41It'll teach you about hard work and responsibility.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42And you won't even be late for school.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Why's Ding-dong moving house anyway?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Did he try and kill someone?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Is he on the run from the cops?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Something about a moth infestation.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52It looks like some pretty angry moths.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57Mandy, this demeans us both.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58You don't have to...
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Wait in the van. SOMETHING BREAKS
0:01:00 > 0:01:02How am I supposed to catch a cup and saucer?
0:01:02 > 0:01:07This isn't even mine. Some of this underwear is yours. Oh!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Is everything OK?- Yeah, of course. It's just a little moth problem,
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- you know how difficult and stubborn they can be.- Moths?
0:01:15 > 0:01:20Yes. Did you know that they actually thrive on darkness and human sweat?
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Well, nothing the professionals can't sort out, hopefully.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Yeah, well, I'll be getting the professionals in, of course.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Legal ones.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33OK, so, what do you want us to pack?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Everything. In the general area.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44SINGS: Baby, I don't really wanna
0:01:44 > 0:01:48know how your garden grows...
0:01:48 > 0:01:49What are you doing?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I am a teacher of physical education,
0:01:51 > 0:01:54kindly address with me respect, Overalls.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56You can't bring that in here.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Then maybe you should have got round to fixing the bike sheds.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Gentlemen, am I sensing conflict?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03No, you're sensing me trying to teach
0:02:03 > 0:02:07this little princess here the concept of work. Booyah.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11What, hanging about in a football pitch, picking your nose?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13It's called coaching, Oddjob.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I can see what needs to happen here.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Yes, thank you. He needs to apologise.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21He needs to clean up his muck!
0:02:21 > 0:02:24No, you both need to follow me to my office.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27I think I can see how to remedy this situation.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:02:35 > 0:02:40Jupiter is conjoining Mars in your section of fortune.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Hey, says here today's going to be my luckiest day of the year.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46So? Horoscopes are totally bogus.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48My nan says the stars never lie.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51And your nan thinks that Hollyoaks is a documentary.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Just forget it, there ain't no such thing as a lucky day in Hellmsmere.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58There is today. Mystic Angie says so.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00What are you girls doing in here?
0:03:00 > 0:03:02The bell's gone for registration.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04And cue the first detention?
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Just reading our horoscopes, Miss.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10What does it say for Pisces?
0:03:10 > 0:03:15Mercury's in Libra and you're going to be really nice to everyone.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- It's like they've got a window into your soul, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Coincidence.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Is this some sort of sick joke?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33You can't respect another man
0:03:33 > 0:03:36until you've walked a mile in his shoes.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Look, the point is, I can't be a caretaker.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41No offence, but I actually passed some of my GCSEs.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45I'm sensing a lot of fear coming from you, Graham.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Yeah, Graham, what are you so scared of?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50- I thought you said caretaking was easy?- It is.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- Good!- Then you'll swap roles until 4pm this afternoon.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Oh, please, if it was up to me I'd do it for a week.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00There we go, a week it is.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I'm so glad that you two are starting to see eye-to-eye.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09SHE CLEARS THROAT
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I look good, right? The photographer said I had tiny pores.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh, you must be so proud.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20This true? Naomi told Cerise that your manky mug is going to be
0:04:20 > 0:04:22on the posters for the school fashion show.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Hello!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Yeah, all true. Jealous much?
0:04:28 > 0:04:33Them posters are going to be buggin. I'm going to Goodman.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Do it. The photo's already been taken,
0:04:35 > 0:04:36there's nothing you can do now except
0:04:36 > 0:04:38hope that they pick you next year.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Ah, this ain't over, Nerdcore.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Bingo. And just in time for the start of the test.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54Great running. Good, heavy breathing. Come on, come on.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Does this look like a racetrack to you?
0:04:56 > 0:04:59No, but it's cloudy outside.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00I've just cleaned this floor.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02You'll just have to clean it again.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Or is that too much like hard work?- No.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Oi, you lot! Lesson's over!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- HE WHISTLES - Back the way you came.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Come on. Hurry up!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Come on!
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Move!
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- More.- Steady.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25First, I have to check if the weight is evenly distributed.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Time to crack out my trusty spirit level.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Ugh, we're really late now.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Of course, I'm just going to have another sweep round.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Come on, can we just load this? I'm not spending my whole day
0:05:38 > 0:05:39hanging out with Ding-dong and Dopey.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43No, over 20 traffic accidents a year are caused by badly packed vans.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Oi, careful, stop messing about.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48SOMETHING CRACKS
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Ah, was that a rib?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54I think that was a rib. Hospital.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57- You sure? We're really late for school.- Hospital.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01- Hospital.- All right, get in the van.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Where's Mr Bell?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Is that yours?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10It is now. Go, go, go, go, go.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Graham!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Oh, Mr Nunn, I thought I'd find you here.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32HE MUMBLES
0:06:32 > 0:06:35I was hoping that you'd put up some posters for our
0:06:35 > 0:06:37charity fashion show. I'll give you a hand if you like,
0:06:37 > 0:06:38you only have to ask.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43- MUMBLES: Yes, please.- No? Oh, well, fair enough.
0:06:43 > 0:06:44- No, I said...- Yes.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Right, well, they all have to be up by lunchtime.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oh, and by the way, I think I walked
0:06:52 > 0:06:56on your nice clean floor on the way over. Sorry!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08THEY WAIL LIKE SIRENS
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Excuse me.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Can we see a doctor, please? I've got a young person here
0:07:12 > 0:07:13with a possible fractured rib.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15It's a two-hour wait.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Any chance you can speed things up? We're due in school around now.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Of course. And who would you like me to cross off the list?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25The kid in the neck brace or the old man with a Zimmer frame?
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Point taken.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27THEY WAIL LIKE SIRENS
0:07:27 > 0:07:30And no mucking about on the wheelchairs!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Oh, yo, this is a joke.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Can we just take the money and slide?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37MOBILE RINGS Not if you want to see
0:07:37 > 0:07:38DJ Rush tonight.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- Hello?- Chuckle Brothers, we're moving.- Sit down.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- THEY PLAY OFF-KEY - Where are you?
0:07:44 > 0:07:45We're on our way back, we're almost there.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- 'Well, hurry up.' - THEY CONTINUE PLAYING OFF-KEY
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Really looking forward to our romantic dinner tonight.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54'As long as you promise it won't end up' like last time.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- I...- 'You forgot.'
0:07:56 > 0:08:00And I waited outside your flat for two hours in the pouring rain.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Ah. Well, that's why you've got the spare key,
0:08:03 > 0:08:04now you can wait inside.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Kaley, take that out of Gavin's nose!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12HE SIGHS
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Romantic dinner, eh?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17That's why you were so chill about me seeing DJ Rush tonight.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Shhh!- OK, but you've got to swear now, no snogging
0:08:21 > 0:08:23or I'm not ever sitting on that sofa again.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Hmm, I'm not sure if I can do that.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Gross.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I can't believe we got away with bunking registration.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I know, we should have had detention till Christmas.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38You must have entered my circle of influence.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Mystic Ange.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43- I don't reckon we're going to get any detentions today.- Yeah?
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Well, it's music next. You done your composition homework? Cos I ain't.
0:08:48 > 0:08:504 O'Clock Club, here we come.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Hold up. Where's the geek?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Mr Harris is running late.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58I'll be taking this class in which
0:08:58 > 0:09:00no-one is allowed to play the recorder.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02What about our composition?
0:09:02 > 0:09:03What composition?
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Don't prove anything.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Hey, the posters are up.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Certainly are, they're on every flippin' wall in the building.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17And pinboard. And locker.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Bangin' new tracksuit, sir.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Ingrid's going to be well jel
0:09:25 > 0:09:27when she sees I'm all over the school.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, no!
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Please tell me I don't look like a complete goob.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Amber, I respect you too much to lie to you.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41And I'm just rubbish at lying.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45RAPS: # Oh, my days, what is this?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47# How can I save donkeys when I look like a div?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49# Freakazoid eyes Oh, no, this ain't fair
0:09:49 > 0:09:52# I'm like a cartoon idiot up there
0:09:52 > 0:09:54# Someone check if Ingrid's here
0:09:54 > 0:09:56# I don't wanna be the laughing stock of Elmsmere
0:09:56 > 0:09:58# Ha, ha-ha, ha!
0:09:58 > 0:09:59# That's what they'll cry
0:09:59 > 0:10:01# And I've literally could just die
0:10:01 > 0:10:04# Then I'll be in the afterlife sitting around in Heaven
0:10:04 > 0:10:06# Chillin' on a big loser cloud
0:10:06 > 0:10:08# Surrounded by geeks and nerds singing hymns
0:10:08 > 0:10:10# And Darnesh tripping over his angel wings
0:10:10 > 0:10:13SINGS: # No! I've gotta save my face
0:10:13 > 0:10:16# I've gotta save my face
0:10:16 > 0:10:17# I've gotta save my...
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- F-A-C-E! - # I've gotta save face
0:10:20 > 0:10:22RAPS: # OK, so I may have overreacted
0:10:22 > 0:10:25# I'm not going to die from the embarrassment actually
0:10:25 > 0:10:27# If Ingrid sees this along with her friends
0:10:27 > 0:10:29# I may as well leave school cos that's social death
0:10:29 > 0:10:32# Oh man, I've gotta do something
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- # Darnesh any ideas? - Something?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36# Wait, how about we tear them down?
0:10:36 > 0:10:37# Cos if Ingrid finds out
0:10:37 > 0:10:39# I'm heading out of town to save face
0:10:39 > 0:10:41SINGS: # I've gotta save my face
0:10:41 > 0:10:44# I've gotta save my face
0:10:44 > 0:10:47- # I've gotta save my... - F-A-C-E.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48# I've gotta save face
0:10:48 > 0:10:50# I've gotta save my face
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# I've gotta save my face
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- # I've gotta save my... - F-A-C-E
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# I've gotta save face
0:10:59 > 0:11:00F...
0:11:00 > 0:11:01A...
0:11:01 > 0:11:03C...E
0:11:03 > 0:11:05# I've gotta save face. #
0:11:10 > 0:11:12What do you mean nothing's broken? I felt something snap.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15When you were undressing for the X-ray we found this.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Ah, my spirit level.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Well, that explains the abject lack of pain,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21I thought it was the shock. Oh, well, no harm done.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Guys, where are you going?
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Can you believe that?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Oi, what are you doing here?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I'm taking PE. Go on, play with the balls and that.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Oh, sorry, can't, I ain't got no kit.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Yeah, that's right.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Reckon you should give us a detention.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Yeah, Nunn usually gives us a detention and makes us do laps.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Eh, I ain't Mr Nunn. I'm nice.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Just do it in your uniform and we'll say no more.
0:12:00 > 0:12:01Don't prove nothing.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Can we get a wiggle on? I'd quite like to
0:12:05 > 0:12:06get back to school at some point.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Me too. And now music's over we're missing proper lessons.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- No offence, sir.- This is messed up, I want more money.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14If he's getting more money, I want a badger.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17No-one is getting more money or a badger.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Ha, see, I told you I'd find it, it's that apartment right there.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29The agent's obviously made liberal use of Photoshop.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Still, beggars can't be choosers.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Beggars make easy money compared to this.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Whack it. Oh, come on, you useless bunch of village greens.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Mrs Goodman, all right?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Just checking my spanners.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Such a brave face you show to the world, Graham.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56You even had me fooled.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02I should have remembered the scared little boy inside.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04What are you talking about?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I shouldn't have asked you to put up my posters.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I should have known it would be too much for you.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10What? I plastered the whole flippin' school in them.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I swear, this whole corridor was completely...
0:13:19 > 0:13:22You are finding caretaking a bit of a challenge, aren't you?
0:13:22 > 0:13:26Oh, come off it, I could do this one-legged wearing a blindfold.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Well, you're a trier, I'll give you that.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33I...I could get some more printed up if you'd like another go?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Oi, Groundskeeper Wally, where are my posters?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41What posters?
0:13:41 > 0:13:43The posters you stole off the wall
0:13:43 > 0:13:45to make me look like an idiot.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47You already do a pretty good job of that yourself, sir.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Shut it, Murphy. You're going down, Rogers.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You forget, games are my specialist subject.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Not any more, mate, I'm the PE teacher now.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59And while you're here, Mrs Mop, the showers need cleaning.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Now, if you'll excuse me, my tea's getting cold.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- ALL:- Ooh!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12The agent said that the key would be under the mat but...
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Have you tried the ledge over the door?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oh, yes, here we are.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Well, I'll have to have a word with that agent.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Oh, it's furnished.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Oh, well, lovely.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I'm sure I'll be very happy here.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46I imagine.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Crispin, if you ever need to talk to anyone about...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- ..you know...- My moth situation?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Don't worry.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Everything's under control.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01GLASS BREAKS
0:15:05 > 0:15:06My lava lamp!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09I can't go to school looking like this.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I'll have to use your washing machine and bathroom.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Yeah, no problem, no problem. Just as long as you give me some
0:15:13 > 0:15:16money towards the electric and the hot water.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Good luck nicking these, Oddjob.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- That was close.- Too close.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39I can't believe everyone almost found out I was best
0:15:39 > 0:15:41mates with a donkey-fancying, squid-eyed goober.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Thanks, Vi.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46At least we got them all. Took 'em down.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Um, guys.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53No way. SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Uh-oh. Look.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59One, two, three.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12Oh, please. Are you geeks having some lame-o pinboard party?
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Yeah, that's right. Want to join in?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18No, I'd actually rather kiss a dog's bum
0:16:18 > 0:16:21cos it's less sad and I ain't even joking.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23LOL!
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Pin...board...party?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Genius, right?
0:16:31 > 0:16:35MOBILE RINGS
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- Lizzie?- Is everything OK?
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Oh, right. Traffic.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44'But we're still on for tonight.'
0:16:44 > 0:16:46I promise.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Good.- Although, 'we are running a teeny bit late, so'
0:16:49 > 0:16:53could you pick up the ingredients for a curry?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Dexter.- Traffic's moving, that'd be great, gotta go!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00They're all up. I could do this for a living
0:17:00 > 0:17:02if I wasn't so clever and handsome.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Well, um...
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Where are they?- Right there. I'm not being funny, love,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12but do you need your eyes tested?
0:17:13 > 0:17:14What?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18No. They were...
0:17:19 > 0:17:22They was... It was right... They were...
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- I don't... Why?- Oh, Graham.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31RAPS: # Grr, I'm angry, I'm going in
0:17:31 > 0:17:34# If this is a competition then I'm gonna win
0:17:34 > 0:17:37# How can Isaac belittle my life
0:17:37 > 0:17:41# As the best PE teacher far and wide?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44# I'm a heartless guy when it comes to a race
0:17:44 > 0:17:47# And I will wipe that silly grin right off of his face
0:17:47 > 0:17:48# With a mop!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50# And I will take on any challenge, Isaac
0:17:50 > 0:17:54# Like when my mates bet I couldn't eat raw chillies and I did it
0:17:54 > 0:17:56# Now look who had the last laugh then, ha-ha
0:17:56 > 0:18:00# That's once I stopped crying kicking and screaming
0:18:00 > 0:18:02# From the pain I was in Grr!
0:18:02 > 0:18:03RAPS: # What can I say?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05# This PE stuff's easy
0:18:05 > 0:18:08# The kids do burpees while I sip a PG
0:18:08 > 0:18:13# Tips to the Nunnster, mop with some heart, man, smile more
0:18:13 > 0:18:15# Empty the bins in the dumpster
0:18:15 > 0:18:17# You're looking flustered
0:18:17 > 0:18:19# Walk one mile in my boots
0:18:19 > 0:18:22# And you've already lost it You lost it
0:18:22 > 0:18:25# He's got no chance He can't even coach
0:18:25 > 0:18:27# He can't clean a floor
0:18:27 > 0:18:29# He can't pin a poster
0:18:29 > 0:18:31# Well, look here, you can't... #
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Right, I've had it up to here with that brat, Isaac.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36He pulled those posters down to make a fool of me.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39# Oh, look here half-time scores read
0:18:39 > 0:18:41# PE teachers versus caretakers
0:18:41 > 0:18:43# And caretakers lead
0:18:43 > 0:18:44# Well, not for long
0:18:44 > 0:18:46# I've got a cunning plan
0:18:46 > 0:18:49# Put a poster up and lie in wait for him to rip it down
0:18:49 > 0:18:53# Then I'll pounce on Isaac like a lion on a lamb
0:18:53 > 0:18:56# And prove to Mrs Goodman that I am the man. #
0:18:56 > 0:18:57- BOTH:- Game on!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04FRONT DOOR OPENS
0:19:04 > 0:19:08It's probably just the agent.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10SHE SCREAMS THEY SCREAM
0:19:10 > 0:19:12What's going...? THEY ALL SCREAM
0:19:17 > 0:19:18The wrong flat?
0:19:18 > 0:19:23This is 63 Maple Close, that is 63 Maple Grove.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25See, I knew something wasn't right.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27When you've been around for as long as I have,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29you have an instinct for these types of things.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- You must know the feeling.- I'm 27.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Yo, can we scoot? Clock's ticking.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41The tenant, is she pressing charges?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Any chance I could pop back and get my clothes?- No.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Of course. Well, I'd better be going,
0:19:48 > 0:19:50I've got a romantic dinner tonight.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Not that I'm trying to make you... I'm sure you've got loads of...
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Bye, Dexter, it was nice to see you again.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Oh, and whoever she is, I hope she likes the dressing gown.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09This has been a nightmare. Can we just go home?
0:20:09 > 0:20:10Great idea.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Where's the van?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16It's restricted parking.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Call the clampers.- What's the number?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21It says here they close at four.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Oh, my days, I've got a gig to go to.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Right, calm down. My dad works round the corner, we'll give him a call.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28See, everything's going to be hunky-dory.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30TELEPHONE RINGS
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Lizzie? Yeah, still stuck in traffic.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36When you get to the flat, would you mind peeling some spuds?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I wonder how many millions we're going to
0:20:40 > 0:20:42win on the lottery this week?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Will you purleeze?- What?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Saying good luck's all because of when you were born
0:20:47 > 0:20:48is about as stupid as saying
0:20:48 > 0:20:53bad luck's because of what football team you support.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Gotcha! SHE SCREAMS
0:20:54 > 0:20:57What are you doing with my posters? He put you up to this, didn't he?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Get your mingin' mop out of my face.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- You weirdo!- Yeah! Yeah!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Mr Nunn?!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11What on earth are you doing to these poor, defenceless children?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Defenceless? Karate kid here almost had my eye out.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16He tried to have us with his mop.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Only because Oddjob keeps on stealing my posters.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22I set up a trap to prove that I'm not paranoid.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26I'm not paranoid. I'm not. He is out to get me.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Oh, dear, Graham.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Let's put an end to this experiment after all, hmm?
0:21:33 > 0:21:34But I can do it.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- Caretaking's easy. - There's no judgment here.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50So you threaten Nunn and he gets taken away?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53But you still think horoscopes are totally bogus?
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Hate to say it, but...
0:21:54 > 0:21:57OK, I guess. I suppose I have to admit...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03That's it, I've had it with you lot today.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- Detention!- See! See!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07It's totally bogus.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Oh, that explains it.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16I was looking at tomorrow's.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Cheers to not being squid-eyed.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25And cheers to not being best friends with squid eye.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28And here's to saying something like what you just said
0:22:28 > 0:22:29but a bit different.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- Squid eyes!- How come we ain't seen no posters?
0:22:32 > 0:22:35They took them down. My beautiful face was too distracting.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Yeah, right. Well, if it was giving everyone nightmares
0:22:38 > 0:22:40because you're all like, eek, eek, eek.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I mean, especially with those earlobes.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45I mean, what is up with them? Well startling.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Jealousy is so pathetic.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I'm actually so not jealous it's unbelievable.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53You should be because I look fit and fabulous in them posters.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56THEY LAUGH
0:22:56 > 0:22:58- Amber.- Ssh! I'm killing it.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Behind you.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Yeah, right, VERY jealous.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Oh, guys, I think I'm going to get on the bus.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07BOTH: Oh, no, you're not.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Oi, oi, Dad to the rescue.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Cheers.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31What about us?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Oh, you thought that he'd give all of us a lift?
0:23:33 > 0:23:38- Yeah.- Sorry, no room. There's a bus stop down there, just, yeah.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41And you can give us our share of the money at school tomorrow.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44What about my gig?
0:23:46 > 0:23:47HORN BEEPS
0:23:49 > 0:23:54So we've no flat, no van, no belongings and no lift.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to sit over here
0:23:58 > 0:23:59and do some deep breathing.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Sorry, Nero.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Like you care.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07If it makes you feel any better, me and Lizzie aren't exactly going to
0:24:07 > 0:24:10have a nice romantic dinner with you sitting there picking your nose.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11No, it don't.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Dex, I spend my entire life hanging out with teachers.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16All I wanted was one normal night.
0:24:17 > 0:24:22Look, take this, get a taxi.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I reckon you can still make it to see DJ Rush.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Really? Wait, come on, what about you?
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Well, I'll walk Mr Bell back to the flat,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33you enjoy yourself, you deserve it.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45RAPS: # I've got the money Dex gave me the peas
0:24:45 > 0:24:48# That makes up for today's lameness indeed
0:24:48 > 0:24:50# I was lugging boxes round town with Mr B
0:24:50 > 0:24:52# Mr Bell's dirty briefs it seems has paid off
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# Cos I'm going to hit the show, see DJ Rush
0:24:55 > 0:24:57# In hindsight, today wasn't as bad as I thought
0:24:57 > 0:24:58# In fact, it had its moments
0:24:58 > 0:25:00# Like watching Bell's clothes
0:25:00 > 0:25:02# Get thrown from his home and window was dope
0:25:02 > 0:25:04# Saw Dex leaving in a woman's dressing gown
0:25:04 > 0:25:07# He's worldly renown for being a right clown
0:25:07 > 0:25:08# It always goes wrong for him
0:25:08 > 0:25:10# Cos his day was worse than mine
0:25:10 > 0:25:11# At least I've got a song to sing
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# And an awesome gig to catch thankfully
0:25:14 > 0:25:16# I thought that living with a teacher would be agony
0:25:16 > 0:25:18# Actually Dexter helped me out happily
0:25:18 > 0:25:21# To tell the truth, man, he feels like family
0:25:21 > 0:25:24SINGS: # Sacrifices
0:25:24 > 0:25:26# Doesn't seem fair.
0:25:26 > 0:25:31# Sacrifices, so I can go there.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# He's more than a teacher he's family
0:25:33 > 0:25:36# A teacher to them but he's fam to me
0:25:36 > 0:25:38# Sacrifices, he's doing all he can for me
0:25:38 > 0:25:40# He's family Look out for family
0:25:40 > 0:25:43# Still looking at this money in my hand, man
0:25:43 > 0:25:45# Can't believe everything's gone to plan, man
0:25:45 > 0:25:48# Dexter really came through I guess he always has done
0:25:48 > 0:25:50# Like cooking me dinner Doing my laundry and then some
0:25:50 > 0:25:54# Yeah, he's really made sacrifices No matter what trouble I've caused
0:25:54 > 0:25:55# He's been there from day one
0:25:55 > 0:25:58# And I think it's about time I did the same for family
0:25:58 > 0:26:00# At the end of the day. #
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Dex! Dex!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Let's split the cash, yeah? We'll get a cab home.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08But you'll miss DJ Rush. You know what?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I think I fancy a quiet night in with the fam,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12so long as I'm not cramping your style.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14No more than it's already cramped.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Thanks, Dex. For everything.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Or if you show a bit of leg, we might catch a lift home.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Hey, I'm back! Oh.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32So much for a fancy dinner, eh?
0:26:34 > 0:26:35Waste not, want not.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Is that Miss Baker?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47Um, she came over to help me with some marking.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03I'm really sorry I ruined your concert.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05You've had a tough year, you deserve a night out,
0:27:05 > 0:27:08getting jiggly with it to some sick beats.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Yeah, well, I'm sorry I ruined your dinner,
0:27:10 > 0:27:14but please don't ever say "getting jiggly" again.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Is living with a teacher really that bad?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Hmm, I think I'm getting used to it.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Well, I'm glad to hear it.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Cos I'm going to need somewhere to stay tonight.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Who's lending me their room?
0:27:28 > 0:27:29- BOTH:- He is.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:32 > 0:27:33# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- # Kick you when you're down - But what no-one understands them
0:27:36 > 0:27:37# You know what they're on about
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- # Always gonna be around - Gotta find a common ground
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# If you know so much about me
0:27:43 > 0:27:44# Where do I go from here?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46# If you see 'em every day
0:27:46 > 0:27:47# You can never get away
0:27:47 > 0:27:49# Only time that you're the boss - 4 o'clock. #