0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where'd you go when you know # nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:11 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# You should stay, it can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# There's good days and bad days
0:00:23 > 0:00:25# But, one day down the line, this time it's sure to stop
0:00:25 > 0:00:28# so the only time is now, four o'clock. #
0:00:31 > 0:00:34CHANTING: Girls for Goals! Girls for Goals!
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Oi, Bubblegum, what are you here for?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Impersonating a milkshake?
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Detention, stop wittering.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55I'm going to kill Dex.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57How's it his fault?
0:00:57 > 0:00:59He bought tonnes of discount washing powder.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Turns everything pink.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05All right? Mrs Goodman said to give you this.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Think she wants you.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10CHANTING FROM OUTSIDE: Girls for Goals! Girls for Goals!
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Girls for Goals!
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Oi, Sir!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16You going to do anything about that?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I've told you before, Murphy, be quiet.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Sir, if Mrs Goodman wants you, you should go.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25Fine.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30Yep.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Something's properly got ding-dong's goat.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Oooh, he's left his tablet.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Oh my days.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45He's online dating?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Girls for Goals! Girls for Goals! Girls for Goals!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Oh, please. You just want to ogle the boys.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Find a better excuse.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Join the war? - Thanks, I think I'll pass.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Football? Nah. Not for me.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Especially not for you, Baker.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05This is a man's sport and you're punier than most females.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Yay, football!
0:02:11 > 0:02:12Girls like kicking!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Come on you blues!
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Girls for Goals! Girls for Goals! - Girls, girls!
0:02:18 > 0:02:19What on earth is going on?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Nunn won't let girls on the football team.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23ANGRY SHOUTING
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Graham, love.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Oh, here we go. - This is a new era.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32You don't have to stick to the repressive old rules.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36Girls, I'm sure that if you were to turn up to practice tomorrow,
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Mr Nunn would love to find you a role.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42CROWD CHEERS
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Go team!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Oh, for goodness' sake.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Ah, Crispin, all under control, thanks.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Wow. Didn't think I'd be striking a blow for women's rights today.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Women's rights? Who cares about women's rights?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59We totes just owned Nunn.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01And you got yourselves on the footie team.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07DOOR OPENS
0:03:07 > 0:03:08What on earth?
0:03:11 > 0:03:13You have invaded my private data.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17And you've ruined it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I have a big horse?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22No-one wants to know about your allergies, sir.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24That just ain't alluring.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Detention.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26All of you.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28For life.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Now, get out.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Oh, no, sir. TABLET PINGS
0:03:31 > 0:03:33A message. Ooh, can we read it?
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Get out. Out!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45# Goodness, I have my first message
0:03:45 > 0:03:47# Sent requests in the past
0:03:47 > 0:03:50# Gave details of my likes and dislikes but, still, alas
0:03:50 > 0:03:53# no-one bid or batted an eyelid for over a month
0:03:53 > 0:03:56# Well, now I have a message, could it be love?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58# I've been waiting a long time
0:03:58 > 0:04:00# ever since the messy divorce of my ex-wife
0:04:00 > 0:04:03# I know, I've tried, tried and tried again
0:04:03 > 0:04:05# Grew a beard once, thought that would wind them in
0:04:05 > 0:04:07# Women love beards, yes? Try again
0:04:07 > 0:04:10# I didn't get a nibble, but this time's different
0:04:11 > 0:04:14# I've got a message
0:04:14 > 0:04:16# Finally # Whoo!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18# I've got a message
0:04:18 > 0:04:19# Finally
0:04:19 > 0:04:20# Yeah!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23# I've got a message
0:04:23 > 0:04:25# Got a message
0:04:25 > 0:04:27# I've got a message
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# Whoo! # Yes,
0:04:29 > 0:04:30# A woman wants to meet me
0:04:30 > 0:04:33# And it's not my mother for afternoon tea
0:04:33 > 0:04:34# It's a lady
0:04:34 > 0:04:35# She's responded
0:04:35 > 0:04:37# She seems nice, she seems honest
0:04:37 > 0:04:39# Perhaps those three cupids are working their magic
0:04:39 > 0:04:42# All right, Crispin, calm down, don't panic
0:04:42 > 0:04:44# Wait! what should I write now?
0:04:44 > 0:04:45# Everything is based on a lie
0:04:45 > 0:04:47# And she may raise an eyebrow
0:04:47 > 0:04:48# But, under close examination
0:04:48 > 0:04:51# I am like a big horse the way my intellect gallops
0:04:51 > 0:04:53# And hurdles a difficult challenge
0:04:53 > 0:04:56# A mystical poet, the way I mark all the homework
0:04:56 > 0:04:57# So I'm not telling fibs
0:04:57 > 0:05:00# And I may not get another chance like this
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# What's happening is real, she's interested
0:05:02 > 0:05:03# Relax, breathe
0:05:03 > 0:05:05# And send a message now. #
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I would love to meet you.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14You're doing the shopping, I'm getting a coffee.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I've got a voucher for a free frappaccino.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Whoa, that's some serious bank.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Here's the list. Here's the money.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Get everything. Handle that?
0:05:26 > 0:05:27All over it.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33There you go, ladies. Now, stay that side of the line.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I don't mind you enjoying yourselves,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37but I don't want you on the pitch ruining it for the boys.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38WHISTLE BLOWS
0:05:38 > 0:05:43Enjoy ourselves? What type of idiots does he think we are?
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Ah, Nero, how did you get on?
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Pretty awesome, yeah?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Chocolate pudding, wow. More chocolate pudding.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57But where's the actual shopping?
0:05:57 > 0:05:58That can't be all you got?
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Oh, come on.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06What kind of yo-yo trusts a kid with the shopping
0:06:06 > 0:06:07money for a whole week?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I wanted you to see how hard it was.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Yeah, well, surprise surprise, Dex, I messed it up.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Come on, now we're broke.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Why don't you ever answer some of this, huh?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Cos it's all junk.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Right, I'm going to the loo, you start on the washing up.
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Oh, man.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Oh, man.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39The toilet's blocked. I assume that's got something to do with you?
0:06:39 > 0:06:40You know what? I think it's more to do
0:06:40 > 0:06:42with the cruddy washing powder that you bought.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44You poured it all down the toilet.
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Oops.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I give up. I'm going to bed.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51Yeah, yeah, whatever.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Roses are red, violets are blue...
0:07:02 > 0:07:04wear a red flower and I'll see you.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Tomorrow, at 6pm, at the above address.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Yours sincerely, Crispin Bell.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23The man's an absolute nuggy. Totes stress-calation.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Yeah, how unreasonable of him to complain about you spending
0:07:26 > 0:07:28all of his money then blocking his toilet.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Oh, Nero. Brilliant.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34This is Shona, your new social worker.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Come to my office at noon, please.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42This must be about Dexter. He's been messing up, right?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44They must be checking up on him.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Well, nice knowing you.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Could you send me camel from Kuwait?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50No, no, no. Not if I cover for him.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Make up some quality stuff.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Oh, lying? To a social worker?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56You can't do that.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04Well, he is a gourmet cook, of course, but in a healthy way.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Mm-hm.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07And, er...
0:08:07 > 0:08:10OK, it is only him and me right now,
0:08:10 > 0:08:13but he's getting married, real soon, yep.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15And then we'll be like a proper family.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21And, like, he...sings to me.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24When I can't sleep, stuff he's composed, actually.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Got one for tonight.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26He's so great.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Well, that all seems...
0:08:31 > 0:08:32..extraordinary.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Just the home visit now.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Home visit? - Yeah. Oh, which I see is tonight.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Now, have I got Mr Harris's number, or...?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45No! I'll tell you what? I'll tell Dexter.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Oh, thank you.
0:08:53 > 0:08:54Nunn's on the ball.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Takes on one defender, takes on two.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Keeps on going. Here we go.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Graham, sweetheart?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02This question of the girls getting involved with football?
0:09:02 > 0:09:06It's all sorted, love. They're out there now, shaking their pom-poms.
0:09:06 > 0:09:11No, I mean cheerleading will do wonders for the kids' teamwork,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14but we really can't have the girls doing separate activities.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17What? So you mean I'm going to have to...?
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Blur those gender boundaries. I know you've got it in you.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Go, Graham!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- I'll give her blurred genders. Oi, Garland. Over here.- Yes.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Eli, you've got to keep Dex away from the flat.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33He'll just blow it by showing how lame he is.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I'm on it like a car bonnet, right?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Owen, you've got to bring a quiche round tonight.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41One of your special ones and... some nerdy games. Chess and stuff.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- What?- I haven't got to do football ever again.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- Nice, man.- No, no, no.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Nunn just made me captain of the cheer squad.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52THEY LAUGH
0:09:52 > 0:09:54- What? No that's awful. - I know.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I haven't got any routines planned.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Sir? Oh, sir.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- COUGHING:- I feel well shady. Could you take me home?
0:10:09 > 0:10:13You don't look that bad to me. Get the bus.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14It'll be just as quick.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Which way to the...? Oh...oh...
0:10:19 > 0:10:20..to the-the bus?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Oh!
0:10:22 > 0:10:24OK, let's get you to the hospital.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Hospital? What? No, home. Home's just fine.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29We can't take any chances.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Right, I've come up with a starter routine, just to ease us in.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I'm not saying we're entering any competitions just yet.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Hmm. OK. Give me a G.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Give me an O.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Let me hear you say go!
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Goooo, Elmsmere!
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Oh, man....
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# Give me a O # Give me a U
0:10:58 > 0:10:59# Give me a C # Give me a H Ouch.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Look at the mess we're in
0:11:02 > 0:11:03# We're going to have to do
0:11:03 > 0:11:05# dancing and waggling
0:11:05 > 0:11:08# Pom-poms on the touchline
0:11:08 > 0:11:11# Embarrassing. Cheerleading, why?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13# It's so humiliating
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# Hey! Hey! Hey!
0:11:15 > 0:11:16# Give me a D # Give me an R
0:11:16 > 0:11:18# Give me an A # Give me a T - Drat!
0:11:18 > 0:11:20# We were having a normal day
0:11:20 > 0:11:22# Minding our own business
0:11:22 > 0:11:24# Couldn't just walk past, could we?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26# And mind our own business
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# We don't even like footie
0:11:28 > 0:11:32# Should have known things were going very terribly
0:11:32 > 0:11:34# Give me a R-A-T-S - rats!
0:11:34 > 0:11:35# We look like idiots
0:11:35 > 0:11:36# Tried to get out of it
0:11:36 > 0:11:37# but Nunn pulled us back into it
0:11:37 > 0:11:40# What's worse, we're going to be bossed about by Owen
0:11:40 > 0:11:41# Complete no!
0:11:41 > 0:11:42# Not cool
0:11:42 > 0:11:44# Goodman told Nunn what to do
0:11:44 > 0:11:46# Nunn told Owen what to do
0:11:46 > 0:11:47# Owen thinks he knows it all
0:11:47 > 0:11:49# We've got to tell Goodman this ain't right
0:11:49 > 0:11:52# Can't just moan, I can't do it on my own #
0:11:52 > 0:11:53# Girls unite!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55# Let's show Goodman a clever routine
0:11:55 > 0:11:56# Persuade her to support our team
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- # I've got an idea - # I love an idea
0:11:58 > 0:12:00# A bright idea
0:12:00 > 0:12:01# TOGETHER: Boom! #
0:12:01 > 0:12:04What did you say about competitions?
0:12:05 > 0:12:06What? No.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17You look like you've never seen a man groom himself before.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- What do you want? - You gave us detention.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Oh, please. Get out.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Detention is cancelled.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31He's happy. It's working.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Yeah, it's freaking me out.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- SINGING:- It makes a grown man cry...
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Hello! Oh, it's you.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Chess, backgammon.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Quiche. OK.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Great. Right, erm, go and set up through there and tidy up.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Come on.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04What?
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Nunn shoots...
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Nunn scores! Get in!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Whooooo! Go, Graham.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Boys. On the cheer squad?
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Yep. - I think that's just amazing.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Good.- So, I've entered you squad into a competition.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Amber here gave me the details.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Oh, did she?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35We should probably send him to some cheer squad training Mrs,
0:13:35 > 0:13:37shouldn't we?
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Oh, excellent idea. We might struggle to find the funding though.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43How about we take it from the football team?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Whoa, whoa, hang on, right, I can't...
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Maybe I've taken on too much.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Ohhh. Do you think so?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Yeah. I might just put the girls on the football team,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55build up to the cheerleading.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Yeah!
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Oh, that is disappointing.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04But, you know, if you're sure?
0:14:05 > 0:14:06Thanks, Graham.
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Not so fast, you two.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15You're on my team now, and I think you need
0:14:15 > 0:14:19some extra training sessions, get you up to scratch.
0:14:19 > 0:14:2120 laps of the field dribbling.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23And if you cry you do 20 more.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Hi, hello. Dexter's just held up at...the church.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33The vicar needed help with his candles.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35But he did say that we can carry on though.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Can I give you a tour? - Oh, yes, please.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46So, this is the living room. We like to keep it tidy.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Oh, and this is my friend Owen. He's a Scout.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51- Very well behaved. - Yeah, hi.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I would offer you a cup of tea,
0:14:53 > 0:14:55only there doesn't appear to be any milk.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Just chocolate pudding.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Owen's just leaving.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Er, no, I can hang on for a bit.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Mate, big favour.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Could you go to the shop and get us some milk?
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Erm, but...
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Great. Good. Thank you. See you, bye.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12PHONE VIBRATES
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Ah, that's Dexter now. Best take this.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Hey, Dex. Yeah, I found your home-made quiche.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Looks well delicious and healthy.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25I just called to say you've got an hour before I leg it.
0:15:25 > 0:15:30I ain't having no life-saving hip operations for you Nero Johnson.
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Can I have a word?
0:15:32 > 0:15:33He's just busy right now.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Go on, just a quick hello?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Hey, Dexter.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Dexter?- I'm just going to pass you over to Shona, the social worker,
0:15:42 > 0:15:46she just wants to say a quick hello to you. Dexter.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Thank you.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Hello? - Hello.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- 'Is that Mr Harris?' - Yes, this is Mr...Dexter Harris.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- 'How are you?' - I'm very well, thank you.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- 'And the vicar?' - Yes, the vicar's well too.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- 'When you back?' - When will I be home?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Oh, quite soon, your honour.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Bye.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16That's the cooker, fridge and quiche.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Who's here?
0:16:17 > 0:16:21Oh, that's my auntie Liz, Josh, Nathan and my mum.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Oh.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24No pictures of Mr Harris's fiance?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27No, they are keeping it a bit quiet at the moment,
0:16:27 > 0:16:28at the same school and that.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Anyway, as you can see, everything's all perfect.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33You'll probably want to be getting off?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Wait a minute, what about 4 O'Clock Club?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Well, it was cancelled. I've got better things to do.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49This is Mr Bell, he, um...
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Ah! The red flower. Very novel.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56I am enchanted to meet you.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58I mean, even though you're early.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59I...I'm...
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I wasn't expecting a clipboard.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Oh, I like to take notes.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Oh, really?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07- Would you like to come through? - Well...
0:17:11 > 0:17:13So, you and Dexter both teach at Elmsmere?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15MUSIC: Careless Whisper by George Michael
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Hmmm? Oh, Harris? Yes.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Have you lived here long?
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Oh, good grief, no.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Must be nice for you, Nero.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Erm, Martini?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35No, no. It's a bit early for me.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Of course.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I've never done this before.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Have you done this before?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Yeah, yeah, a few hundred times.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Oh. I suppose I should have expected that.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54I must go freshen up after all that, um...
0:17:55 > 0:17:57..well, horse riding.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01Uh, Johnson. A word.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09Look.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Here's a tenner. Now push off. - What?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14I don't want you ruining things with my date.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Your date?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20Yes, Mr Bell's got a date. Is that really so surprising?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23No, of course not. Your date. Absolutely.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Yeah, exactly.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26So, go on. Scram.
0:18:27 > 0:18:28OK.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40So, all done?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43The toilet's busted, so I wouldn't stay too much longer.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45He's, erm...quirky.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47How long have him and Dexter been a couple?
0:18:48 > 0:18:53What?! No. Mr Bell just lives with us.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55On the couch.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Nero,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58don't be so worried.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03In this day and age, everyone's very accepting of same-sex relationships.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Er...
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Right, yeah.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09NERO?!
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Excuse me.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17What is going on?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20The social have come to check on you, they've heard
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- about how you've been messing up. - Oh. Oh, no!
0:19:22 > 0:19:26Yeah, and they were about to send me away, but don't worry, I pretty much sorted it.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- But...- All you need to know is you're really tidy,
0:19:28 > 0:19:31you're engaged to Mr Bell, and you sound like Eli being a man.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- Now, come on. Let's go. - Oh...
0:19:34 > 0:19:36# Nero and I just face off
0:19:36 > 0:19:40# Am I supposed to go along with this charade of secret and lies?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42# Responsible thing to do
0:19:42 > 0:19:44# Tell the social worker the truth
0:19:44 > 0:19:46# Lies cause trouble
0:19:46 > 0:19:47# Like the time I accidently
0:19:47 > 0:19:49# Took the keys to the school gates home
0:19:49 > 0:19:53# The next morning, we all had to climb over to get in
0:19:53 > 0:19:54# My fault, little did they know
0:19:54 > 0:19:57# I can't go through that again, need to be honest
0:19:57 > 0:19:59# Since honesty is the best policy
0:19:59 > 0:20:01# But what if they send Nero away?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04# For lying or, worse still, blame me for his dishonesty
0:20:04 > 0:20:07# I'd hate for him to have to leave all his friends, yet again
0:20:07 > 0:20:10# And feel like I've failed as a parent
0:20:10 > 0:20:12# Being a good one, that's a great achievement
0:20:12 > 0:20:15# So do I have to keep the real truth secret?
0:20:15 > 0:20:17# For the sake of me and Nero's relationship
0:20:17 > 0:20:20# Do I lie my face off and make it stick?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22# Or, do I tell the truth, act like a grown-up?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25# A proper adult would go in there and own up. #
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Come on.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Och, hello. It's right nice to meet ye.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39And, how do you know Nero?
0:20:39 > 0:20:40The 4 O'Clock Club.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41What is that?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- After school detention... - Cheer Club.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Cheer Club?
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Yeah, where all the well behaved kids hang out.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Yeah, not detention.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55He could show us a routine.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I guess I could.
0:21:02 > 0:21:03OK.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Give us a...
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Och, ye canny practice your cheers in here man. And...
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Erm...
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Mr Harris,
0:21:15 > 0:21:16why is the toilet blocked?
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Dexter?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25You don't have anything to say for yourself?
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Dexter?
0:21:28 > 0:21:29Oh, I'm so sorry.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Perhaps we should...
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Shall we leave for the restaurant?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Wait, er...
0:21:41 > 0:21:45I feel these meetings are best handled in the home environment.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Oh. Well, erm...
0:21:50 > 0:21:51I'm sure...
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I can rustle up some dinner in there.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54There's no need.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56My dear girl, please.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I don't want dinner. Maybe I should have a word with, erm..?
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Hey, Dex!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Wow, it's time for...
0:22:10 > 0:22:12a song.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Yeah, um... I told Shona about your songs.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20You know, the ones you write to send me to sleep?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh, those.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Ye wee little scamp, ye.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Nero, child, it's time to snooze.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40The...
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Cows.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Cows!
0:22:44 > 0:22:48..cows have finished all their moos.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51And soon they will be beef in stews.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55DOORBELL RINGS
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Lizzie. - You were right.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I should help you with your toilet.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09I'm your girlfriend, and it's not your fault you're useless.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11I'm braced for underpants.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I know, but now might not be the best time.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Mr Harris?
0:23:15 > 0:23:19Bye, then. I'll let you know about the toilet.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20- Plumber. - Mr Harris,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I think re-establishing a working toilet should be
0:23:22 > 0:23:24quite a high priority for you.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Here's the problem.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34What is going on?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I'll explain everything in a minute.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40You're probably wondering why Dexter said all of that
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- in a different accent, right? - Yeah.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Well...
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Dexter?
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Ah, yes.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52I'm doing a sponsored accent-athon, and I just forgot.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59You know, I did wonder earlier if you were putting on a silly accent.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Och, I'd better explain things to my...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07..the plumber.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14So, you're pretending to be Scottish for charity,
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I'm a plumber,
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Mr Bell's your fiance, and Nero's a cheerleader?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Exactly. Ready?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Well...
0:24:27 > 0:24:30the problem with your U-bend is...
0:24:30 > 0:24:33that it needs a...sprocket.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Oooh, does it now?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37DOORBELL RINGS
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Ah, yep. That will be the plumber.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Well, open it then.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Got the milk.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Oh, and good news - plumber's here.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57Er, but...
0:24:57 > 0:25:00I'm the plumber.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01Already got one, thanks.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Don't be absurd, you're a chemistry teacher. And, Harris,
0:25:06 > 0:25:09why are you putting on this ridiculous accent?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- BELL RINGS - Oh, dessert.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16You know why...
0:25:16 > 0:25:17darling.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21You ain't buying any of this, are you?
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Look, Shona, I can totally explain everything that's been happening.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE
0:25:29 > 0:25:32I'm speaking in a Scottish accent because I'm Scottish. From Scotland.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34DOORBELL RINGS
0:25:34 > 0:25:35That will be the plumber again.
0:25:35 > 0:25:36GO AWAY!
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Look,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44I haven't got a clue what's going on here
0:25:44 > 0:25:45but something clearly is.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Shall we all sit down?
0:25:48 > 0:25:49Yes, I've made some mistakes,
0:25:49 > 0:25:51but Nero shouldn't have to pay for...
0:25:51 > 0:25:52They're good together.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I feel like sending Nero to Kuwait is entirely counterproductive.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57- Even though I would like a camel. - Can everyone shut up?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Look, I lied, OK?
0:26:01 > 0:26:03I don't have a grade-A home life.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08You know, Dexter ain't perfect but, he's OK
0:26:08 > 0:26:10and he really does try, and I'm happy with that.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12Really?
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Yeah.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17So please, can't I stay?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Will you all sit down?
0:26:21 > 0:26:22This is whack.
0:26:23 > 0:26:28Look, we know no-one has the perfect childhood.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30OK is totally fine.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32It is?
0:26:32 > 0:26:36You're a good team, and you evidently love each other.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42No-one does all this for someone they don't care about.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45We'll not be removing Nero from your care, Mr Harris.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Oh!
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Yes!
0:26:53 > 0:26:55So, this wasn't to do with me?
0:26:55 > 0:26:59No, just a routine visit. Didn't you get the letter?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Erm...no.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Can't think why not.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Oh. Well, bye everyone.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09What about dinner?
0:27:09 > 0:27:13It was lovely to meet you. I'll be back in six months.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh well.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20I suppose she's right.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Best to take things slow.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Rawr.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28So, I, uh...
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I guess I really saved your sorry bacon there Dex.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31No need to thank me.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Oh, no, Nero, I'll thank you all right.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Right after you unblock the toilet.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- # Can't live with them - And you can't kick them out
0:27:42 > 0:27:43# When you're up, they rub it in your face
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- # Kick you when you're down - # But when no-one understands them
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- # You know what they're on about - # Always going to be around
0:27:48 > 0:27:53- #- Got to find a common ground - # If you know so much about me
0:27:53 > 0:27:54- #- Where do I go from here?
0:27:54 > 0:27:57- # If you see them every day - # You can never get away
0:27:57 > 0:27:58# Only time that you're the boss
0:27:58 > 0:28:00# Four o'clock. #