Antenatal

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change

0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days

0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

0:00:28 > 0:00:30- # 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock.- #

0:00:33 > 0:00:34# Hey, hey, hey, have you heard?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37- # Yeah, course we've heard - The news of the summer

0:00:37 > 0:00:40- # It's all around town - Nero finally asked Clem out

0:00:40 > 0:00:41- # And she said yes - Oh my days

0:00:41 > 0:00:43# This is so cool Is this actually real?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45# Those two together

0:00:45 > 0:00:47# Are the perfect couple

0:00:47 > 0:00:49# In stormy weather

0:00:49 > 0:00:51# They're the perfect couple

0:00:51 > 0:00:53# Those two together

0:00:53 > 0:00:55# Are the perfect couple

0:00:55 > 0:00:57# In stormy weather

0:00:57 > 0:00:59# They're the perfect couple

0:00:59 > 0:01:01- # Yep - Can't lie.- It's true

0:01:01 > 0:01:03- # He asked me out - On the first day too

0:01:03 > 0:01:05- # First day of holiday - It was meant to be

0:01:05 > 0:01:07# It's like she was meant for me

0:01:07 > 0:01:08# Of course I said yes

0:01:08 > 0:01:10# We fancied each other since her first day at school

0:01:10 > 0:01:11# Cos she was perfect

0:01:11 > 0:01:14# And all of summer we were side-by-side, holding hands

0:01:14 > 0:01:15# Drinking tea enjoying the ride

0:01:15 > 0:01:18- # Sure we had a few ups and downs - But who doesn't?- Small things

0:01:18 > 0:01:21# Just a little difference in taste buds - she likes fruitcakes

0:01:21 > 0:01:23- # Eurgh, is she a fruitcake? - He likes cheesecakes

0:01:23 > 0:01:26# Who puts cheese in a cake? Only weirdos called Nero

0:01:26 > 0:01:28# You asked for flowers and I got daisies

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- # I asked for flour - No you asked for flowers

0:01:30 > 0:01:32# We do think different ways yeah

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- # So either... - Do it my way or hit the highway

0:01:35 > 0:01:37- # Of course we disagree at times - Most times

0:01:37 > 0:01:39- # Sometimes - A lot of the time

0:01:39 > 0:01:42- # Really? - All in all we're perfect, right?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45# Us two together are the perfect couple

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- Really? - # In stormy weather

0:01:48 > 0:01:50# Are we the perfect couple?

0:01:50 > 0:01:52# Flawless the best way to describe us

0:01:52 > 0:01:54# I think the word perfect's just fine, bruv

0:01:54 > 0:01:56# Who you calling bruv? I'm your girlfriend!

0:01:56 > 0:01:58# It was a joke Don't let your whole world end

0:01:58 > 0:02:00# She never listens or takes advice ever

0:02:00 > 0:02:02# Why can't Nero see my way's better?

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- # He's so stubborn- Me stubborn? - You're the one that don't listen

0:02:05 > 0:02:08# Typical Always blame me in an argument

0:02:08 > 0:02:11- # No, you always blame me in an argument- No.

0:02:11 > 0:02:12# And it's all over nothing

0:02:12 > 0:02:15# Well, hey, at least we agree on one thing. #

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Hey.

0:02:19 > 0:02:20Hey, yourself.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24Um...Nero! Clem!

0:02:25 > 0:02:27I know you're very excited to see each other,

0:02:27 > 0:02:30but let's keep our behaviour appropriate at all times.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34Hmm? Set an example to our younger pupils.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Snog, snog, snog, snog, snog,

0:02:36 > 0:02:39- snog, snog, snog, snog! - THEY LAUGH

0:02:39 > 0:02:43OK, babe, just you, me and the open road.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45And all the other motorway users.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47And you shouldn't call me babe - it's got sexist overtones.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49I wasn't... I was...

0:02:51 > 0:02:52..being cool?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Get out of my way or I'll crush you like a hedgehog!

0:02:58 > 0:02:59HIS BRAKES SCREECH

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Mr Nunn.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Graham.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07How did that happen?

0:03:07 > 0:03:08Really?

0:03:08 > 0:03:11Well, when a man and a woman...

0:03:11 > 0:03:13No, no, no, shut up, shut up.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14OK. Er...

0:03:14 > 0:03:16Here.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18We're going to an antenatal class.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Mrs Goodman said that you and Mr Bell would cover our lessons.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Thank you!- What? No, you can't...

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Oi, Preggers McGee, come back here! CAR HORN TOOTS

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Eurgh! It's like that time in science class they showed us a video

0:03:41 > 0:03:43of a lion eating one of them horse things.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47- THE WOMAN GIGGLES - We should go!

0:03:48 > 0:03:52I know. I'm just waiting for Mr Bell to finish...

0:03:52 > 0:03:53his goodbyes.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- That's what ladies like. - THEY LAUGH

0:03:57 > 0:03:58SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:04:02 > 0:04:04Looking forward to tonight?

0:04:04 > 0:04:07Are you joking me? I've been waiting for this all summer.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09I can't believe Clero's finally a thing.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11They're so cute!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Just like Romeo and Juliet.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17You do know how that ends, right?

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Well, he drinks poison and she, like, proper stabs herself.

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Byesie byes, Pookie Dook!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Er... Byesie bye, Honeyboo.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34See me by the benches, at break, with a present.

0:04:38 > 0:04:39You, er... You betcha!

0:04:42 > 0:04:43She didn't move to Croydon.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45I saw her in Boots.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47One thing led to another.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52And now you're going out with a total and utter nightmare.

0:04:55 > 0:04:56Tonight's going to be epic!

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- All that lot are coming.- Whoa.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Back up. You can't invite people round mine without asking.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05What are you chatting about? We're going out tonight.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07I posted that link.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09- To the slam?- Nah.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11New series of East Coast Old School starts tonight -

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- we're watching that. - Newsflash, ball boy,

0:05:14 > 0:05:17that ain't happening.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18So romantic.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22KIDS LAUGH AND CHATTER

0:05:26 > 0:05:28All right, sit down and shut up!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33So, static electricity.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Baker, why don't you explain to everyone how it works?

0:05:38 > 0:05:40You what? You're the teacher!

0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Wrong answer, detention.- Ha-ha!

0:05:43 > 0:05:45What? That's well unfair.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Maybe it'll teach your family not to get pregnant

0:05:47 > 0:05:50and land me all their work, eh?

0:05:50 > 0:05:52What are all those balloons for, sir?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Are we making balloon animals?

0:05:56 > 0:06:00You rub them on your hair and stick them to the walls.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Absolute playtime subject.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Sir, I do know a bit about static.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Too late.- If you rub enough balloons on someone,

0:06:10 > 0:06:12you can stick them to the ceiling.

0:06:12 > 0:06:17Pull the other one! And have another detention for fibbing.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Amber's right, sir. Static's well powerful.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Like...

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Lightning.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26That's basically static.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Chinny reckon.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30HE YELLS AND THE CHILDREN LAUGH

0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'm not going to dump Katie!

0:06:36 > 0:06:38- Why, cos you're scared of her?- No!

0:06:38 > 0:06:42Because... Look, I know I should have told you, but it was sudden.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45She swept me off my feet, like a flood,

0:06:45 > 0:06:47or a herd of angry yet affectionate cats.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50All right? Coming to Clem's slam thingy tonight?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Yeah, definitely. Where are we actually going, though?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Don't know.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Who stays in to watch some stupid show about ancient rappers when they

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- could go out?- Er, me?

0:07:00 > 0:07:03And you said you would, too. I asked you proper ages ago.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Typical!

0:07:08 > 0:07:12I suppose you're all going to want to stay in with your little mate.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16No. Nero's rapper show sounds yawns.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Yeah. Much rather go and have an amazing time at the slam.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Maybe someone should stay with him, though.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25He looked sad.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Fine! Me and Eli will stay with Nero.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35What?!

0:07:43 > 0:07:45We're so late!

0:07:45 > 0:07:46Come on, Dexter!

0:07:48 > 0:07:50# Why is everything moving so slow?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53# Feel like a sloth in quicksand Just want to go

0:07:53 > 0:07:54# Get things started

0:07:54 > 0:07:57# Now the pressure's on I only found out I was pregnant

0:07:57 > 0:07:58# At five months' gone!

0:07:58 > 0:08:00# Feel like I'm in a race where I've lost all pace

0:08:00 > 0:08:03# And been overtaken by better mums and dads

0:08:03 > 0:08:05# This antenatal class means a lot to me

0:08:05 > 0:08:07# I want to raise our baby properly

0:08:07 > 0:08:10# Have more babies Dexter and I can tie the knot

0:08:10 > 0:08:13# Buy a mansion in the countryside Why not?

0:08:13 > 0:08:15# But before that we need to do this class

0:08:15 > 0:08:17# And we're late Why?

0:08:17 > 0:08:20# Cos of this awful car that moves at the speed of a snail

0:08:20 > 0:08:23# Feeling drowsy It's so slow it's making me grouchy

0:08:23 > 0:08:24# It's all happening so fast

0:08:24 > 0:08:28# Feel like I'm on a rollercoaster baby train that's going to blast!

0:08:28 > 0:08:30- # So fast - So slow

0:08:30 > 0:08:32- # Hurry up, Dexter - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- # I need a chance to breathe - No, no, no!

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- # It's all so fast - It's all so slow

0:08:38 > 0:08:40# Firstly she thought she had heartburn false alarm

0:08:40 > 0:08:43# Turned out she was pregnant Stay calm, Dexter!

0:08:43 > 0:08:46# Next thing we've moving in together, buying baby clothes

0:08:46 > 0:08:47# Zero to nine month sweaters

0:08:47 > 0:08:50# Since they grow every day yesterday's stuff won't fit

0:08:50 > 0:08:52# It's all happening so quick

0:08:52 > 0:08:53# No time for anything

0:08:53 > 0:08:55# So fast no time to blink

0:08:55 > 0:08:57# Or better still just stop and think

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- # So fast - So slow

0:09:00 > 0:09:02- # Hurry up, Dexter - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- # I need a chance to breathe - No, no, no!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07- # It's all so fast - It's all so slow. #

0:09:14 > 0:09:16- Let's stay here tonight.- What?

0:09:16 > 0:09:20We could do the class, stay over, have dinner, talk about the baby.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Just the two of us?

0:09:21 > 0:09:25Yeah. Work out how it's going to be when it's just the three of us.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26That'd be lovely.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Yeah, well, it's pants.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43- What's pants?- Staying in with you instead of going somewhere

0:09:43 > 0:09:45mysterious and cool with Clem, no offence.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Look, I feel your pain.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53You and Clem are struggling while your mate's in a functional relationship.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Who's in a functional relationship?

0:09:55 > 0:09:57He means him and Katie the Klingon.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01You're thinking, "Even if I get through this fight,

0:10:01 > 0:10:04"the next one's already darkening the horizon.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05"Where's the love gone?

0:10:05 > 0:10:06"Why do I even bother?"

0:10:06 > 0:10:08OK, look, look,

0:10:08 > 0:10:10thank you for cheering me up, mate.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12But seriously, thank you for staying in with me.

0:10:12 > 0:10:13It won't be pants, I promise.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16I've got crisps! I do.

0:10:16 > 0:10:17Fine, I'll come.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22What?

0:10:22 > 0:10:25OK, I'll come to yours tonight.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Pooks! Hair.

0:10:34 > 0:10:39Just chillaxing all summer long with my 27-year-old Australian

0:10:39 > 0:10:42girlfriend Anastasia - who does yoga.

0:10:42 > 0:10:43HE CHUCKLES

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Oh! Graham.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47Successful science class?

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Yeah, easy. Electrocuted a couple.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53The rest fell in line pretty quick. SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:10:53 > 0:10:55I'm sure you didn't actually electrocute...

0:10:55 > 0:10:56Powerful stuff, static.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58You know, you can stick someone to the ceiling with it.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59THE TEACHERS LAUGH

0:10:59 > 0:11:01The kids told me.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Oh, dear, Graham.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06I suspect a little start-of-term mischief.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Taking you for a fool.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Or a drongo, as my Australian girlfriend would say.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Hey! Have I told you?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18She's 27.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24"Planning a sick night out with my mates."

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Hashtag "one to remember".

0:11:26 > 0:11:28What kind of status update is that?

0:11:28 > 0:11:30A completely normal one?

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Stupid slam -

0:11:31 > 0:11:34- whatever that is.- £1.20?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37Does that look like £1.20's worth of beans to you?

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Yeah, the Terminator over there can't come tonight.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44You have to get rid of her.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Look, you'll understand when you get a girlfriend.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- It's just...- No, I won't, because I'll get a nice one.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51So just say she can't come.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54- What did you say?- Er...

0:11:54 > 0:12:00You know, what...he meant was that you can totally come round mine tonight.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Just, I'm not your favourite person, am I?

0:12:05 > 0:12:06What was it you put on Facebook?

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I'm an awful, lying, shallow, disgusting love rat.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Something like that, right?

0:12:11 > 0:12:13That's true.

0:12:13 > 0:12:14I don't want to come anymore.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Oh, well, you know what?

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Why don't you go out with Clem and the girls instead?

0:12:18 > 0:12:21- It's a great idea.- Yeah, it is.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23I can find out if any of them fancy you.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26They try anything, they won't know what hit them.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Newsflash! It'll be me.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34See how much Clem likes her night out now, hey?

0:12:34 > 0:12:35PHONE RINGS

0:12:36 > 0:12:37Hey, Dex.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40- What's up?- 'Hey, Nero.'

0:12:40 > 0:12:43Just letting you know, Lizzie and I have decided to stay here

0:12:43 > 0:12:45- for the night.- OK.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47- 'Is that OK?'- I guess.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49'So we'll see you tomorrow, yeah?'

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Yeah. Bye.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Mate, you OK?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Dex ain't coming home tonight.

0:12:55 > 0:12:56You thinking what I'm thinking?

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Bro, par-tay!

0:13:02 > 0:13:03OK.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Stuff science, this is a proper lesson.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Don't ever lie to Mr Nunn.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13But we didn't lie, sir.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16What is that stink?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Where did we run again? Oh, yeah, that's right -

0:13:18 > 0:13:20the organic pig farm.

0:13:20 > 0:13:21THEY GAG

0:13:21 > 0:13:24I want those as fresh as a daisy by the end of the day -

0:13:24 > 0:13:25or else.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oh, my days!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30You're more tragic than Hayes after he did

0:13:30 > 0:13:33that home permanent and it went wrong and all the hair come out.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37Like, actually too tragic to function.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38Losers.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41We're going to die of smell.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Chill. I'll get us out of this.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46I'm all ears.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51Um!

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Are you photocopying your bum again?

0:13:55 > 0:13:57No!

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, yeah.

0:13:59 > 0:14:00Probably best you don't see.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03It's too beautiful for human eyes.

0:14:07 > 0:14:12Is this meant to be a picture of you stuck to the ceiling?

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Yeah.- We're trying to convince Nunn that she did it

0:14:15 > 0:14:17using static electricity.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22There's no way that you could stick a teenager to the ceiling without

0:14:22 > 0:14:25an industrial strength adhesive.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28But, apart from that, it's brilliant!

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Thanks!

0:14:35 > 0:14:39What's happened? Ding Dong ain't been snogging again, has he?

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Katie's coming...

0:14:41 > 0:14:42..to the slam.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46And if anyone makes a move on my Boo while we're there,

0:14:46 > 0:14:48they'll be getting slammed, too.

0:14:48 > 0:14:49Laters!

0:14:51 > 0:14:56She's awful! Can't she go be awful around Owen?

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Seriously, what is a slam?

0:14:58 > 0:15:00A poetry reading.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02- A what now?- A poetry reading.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Classics, new work, bit of improv,

0:15:06 > 0:15:10- you know?- No, we really did not know that.

0:15:10 > 0:15:11P-p-party!

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Party, party, party, party!

0:15:13 > 0:15:15KIDS CHEER

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Oh, we didn't get an invite.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Yeah, well, you've got somewhere else to be tonight, ain't you?

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Oh, hey...

0:15:30 > 0:15:31Have you seen Katie?

0:15:31 > 0:15:32- You...- Oh?

0:15:34 > 0:15:36So what?

0:15:36 > 0:15:37Katie's coming.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40We're still going to hear some sick poetry.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Whoa.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Gutted to be missing that!

0:15:56 > 0:15:58And rest.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Sorry we're late, we just...

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Be at peace. All you've missed is some breathing.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06There's another couple late, too.

0:16:06 > 0:16:08If they arrive, you can pair up.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10I'm not shouting, I'm talking in CapsLock.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13It just sounds like you're shouting, that's all.

0:16:13 > 0:16:15- Ash Newman, you are well embarrassing.- You always do this.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Hey, sir. Hiya.

0:16:17 > 0:16:18Oi, Miss, you're pregnant.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21We're bump buddies.

0:16:21 > 0:16:22As if!

0:16:29 > 0:16:33As you can see, sir, it is clearly in no way hurriedly photo-shopped.

0:16:35 > 0:16:36It's proof we're not lying to you, sir.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40Wow. This is very convincing.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I take back your punishment.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43- Really?- No!

0:16:43 > 0:16:44It's obviously a fake.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57- HE GAGS - It's more boots.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00That'll teach you to carry on lying instead of 'fessing up

0:17:00 > 0:17:02and taking your punishment like men.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Laters.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08OK. The way I see it, we've only got one option.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Knuckle down and do the punishment.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13No. We're actually going to have to stick someone to the ceiling.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39There is a biscuit fairy!

0:17:47 > 0:17:52Leather, boiler suit, super strong industrial strength glue.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55You know, we could have just asked to borrow all this stuff.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Less skulking about.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59And I could have ate them biscuits.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01It's time to get down to business,

0:18:01 > 0:18:04or shall I say up?

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Oh, it's hardly the ceiling, is it?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Didn't have enough balloons, sir.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10The ceiling's actually really high...

0:18:10 > 0:18:12and someone got chicken.

0:18:12 > 0:18:13Still ten-foot up, sir,

0:18:13 > 0:18:17held here solely by the power of static electric.

0:18:17 > 0:18:18And not glue.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23All right, fine. You can leave the boots.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Result! Told you it'd work.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Fancy a chocolate bar from the machine?

0:18:31 > 0:18:33May as well. Nothing more we can do here.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37Hey! Hey!

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Where are you going? Guys!

0:18:40 > 0:18:41Help!

0:18:41 > 0:18:43I'm glued to the wall here!

0:18:47 > 0:18:48Er...

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Detention.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Like, how am I supposed to do my toes with this big hump in the way?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Like, do I just not do them? Is that fair to anyone?

0:18:59 > 0:19:02- I'm sorry, we've rather overrun. - And nappies, like, really?

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Only in white? Where are all the good colours?

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Like magenta, or, like, passion fruit?

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Well, everyone's missed out on learning something,

0:19:08 > 0:19:11what with all the time spent talking about stretchmarks

0:19:11 > 0:19:14being against your human rights.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Good luck, everyone! Blessings.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27So lovely to see you again.

0:19:27 > 0:19:28Do let us know how you get on.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30You bet, sir. You, too.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Well, we'll let you go.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Got to get this one some food.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44No way! Are you staying here too, sir?

0:19:44 > 0:19:46So are we!

0:19:46 > 0:19:47You are?

0:19:47 > 0:19:49His parents paid for us to have a night away.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Let's go eat some pickles!

0:19:53 > 0:19:55We're lucky men, aren't we, sir?

0:19:55 > 0:19:56Lucky, lucky men.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10- Brace yourself.- Look, Clem said this was going to be cool.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12She's cool.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13Maybe it'll be cool.

0:20:16 > 0:20:23The pain of love lost is nothing to the pain of living with not one,

0:20:23 > 0:20:24but two...

0:20:26 > 0:20:28..bunions.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Yes, bunions.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Blisters and corns are bad, but fade one day.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- How cool is this party?- I know,

0:20:49 > 0:20:52I just beat those year 12 girls at Connect Four.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54- They said I was cute. - Shame you've got a girlfriend.

0:20:54 > 0:20:55Yeah, yeah.

0:20:55 > 0:20:56I mean, look,

0:20:56 > 0:20:59I'm going out with Katie now and we're all just going to have to

0:20:59 > 0:21:01- accept that, OK?- No.

0:21:01 > 0:21:05You're seriously telling me that you're missing Katie tonight?

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Yes! Yes, yes.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Then why can't you make eye contact when you say it?

0:21:10 > 0:21:11Where's Nero, anyway?

0:21:11 > 0:21:15He must be very pleased with how his party's going.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Don't know.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18I love this tune!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:21:26 > 0:21:29# This is a perfect night written all over it

0:21:29 > 0:21:30# Everybody dancing laughing over here

0:21:30 > 0:21:32# That's the kind of party that you won't forget

0:21:32 > 0:21:34# I guarantee Clem's night it won't compare

0:21:34 > 0:21:36# Be a legend in school for the whole of the year

0:21:36 > 0:21:39# All the kids I been rolling here so why do I feel so weird?

0:21:39 > 0:21:41# Am I scared Dex will appear? Nah

0:21:41 > 0:21:44# I tell you what's got me here To tell the truth I'm missing Clem

0:21:44 > 0:21:46# And I feel like a F-O-O-L

0:21:46 > 0:21:48# Why was I mean to her for no real reason?

0:21:48 > 0:21:51# But to boost myself up Being together's about compromise

0:21:51 > 0:21:52# Didn't do that Should I beat myself up?

0:21:52 > 0:21:54# No but I've got to apologise

0:21:54 > 0:21:56# Could have watched my programme on catch-up

0:21:56 > 0:21:58# Instead I chose to leave Clem stitched up

0:21:58 > 0:22:00# Would she have done the same to me?

0:22:00 > 0:22:01# Why can't we just keep the peace?

0:22:01 > 0:22:04# Yeah, this is the perfect hype Recipe for the perfect night

0:22:04 > 0:22:06# It should have been a perfect night

0:22:06 > 0:22:08# It could have been perfect, right?

0:22:12 > 0:22:15# Brought my mates to a lame night Not right

0:22:15 > 0:22:18# Not like me to be such a tragedy

0:22:18 > 0:22:22# Poetry in motion Thought it'd be super cool

0:22:22 > 0:22:26# But this night is bogus so hide the real truth

0:22:26 > 0:22:27# Now I feel the fool

0:22:27 > 0:22:30# What makes it worse Nero isn't here to make me laugh

0:22:30 > 0:22:32# And even though he makes me angry

0:22:32 > 0:22:35# Like the stunt he pulled on me with Katie

0:22:35 > 0:22:36# Why? So stubborn

0:22:36 > 0:22:39# But I guess that's true on both sides

0:22:39 > 0:22:42# Being together's about compromise

0:22:42 > 0:22:44# I could have watched his show but didn't

0:22:44 > 0:22:45# I should apologise

0:22:45 > 0:22:47# Yeah, this is a perfect hype

0:22:47 > 0:22:49# Recipe for the perfect night

0:22:49 > 0:22:51# It should have been a perfect night

0:22:51 > 0:22:53# It could have been perfect, right?

0:22:53 > 0:22:54# This is the perfect hype

0:22:54 > 0:22:56# Recipe for the perfect night

0:22:56 > 0:22:58# It should have been the perfect night

0:22:58 > 0:23:00# It could have been perfect, right? #

0:23:01 > 0:23:04I am no athlete, yet look at my feet.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Anyone fancy heading to Nero's party?

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Yes, you sir, Mr Veruca...

0:23:13 > 0:23:15You and your angry...

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Sorry. If it makes you feel any better,

0:23:22 > 0:23:26I didn't think you were that rubbish.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31MUSIC: Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne

0:23:33 > 0:23:35THEY CHEER

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Oh, my, this party is doing my head in.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42- What?- Thought we could check out Clem's poetry slam.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46It can't be worse than this. I'll go get our coats, yeah?

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Seriously? What?!

0:23:49 > 0:23:51My fiancee will have the baked trout,

0:23:51 > 0:23:53but not one that's made of fish, the one that's made of chicken.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56I don't want no fuss about how you've got nothing in.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58I know these nobby places always keep some spare in case some

0:23:58 > 0:24:00fish allergic posho rocks up.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03And I'll have the chocolate ice cream for all courses.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Just agree with them and get out while you can.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Come on, Ashley. I ain't getting stuck and spending another hour

0:24:09 > 0:24:11in the loo reading bleach bottles like last time.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13What is she like?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Well, I'd say she's like all my worst nightmares rolled into one.

0:24:18 > 0:24:22Yeah. Even worse than the one I had about having toes for teeth.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Shush!

0:24:26 > 0:24:27- Hurry up!- Shush, she'll hear us!

0:24:32 > 0:24:33I'm sorry about the class.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36I know you're worried about being a terrible parent,

0:24:36 > 0:24:40so am I, but we're not going to be.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Even those two, even they'll probably be OK.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47But us? We're sensible, we love our kid already.

0:24:47 > 0:24:48We know that trout is made from fish.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53We're definitely going to be OK.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Now get in, quietly.

0:25:01 > 0:25:02The party of a lifetime

0:25:02 > 0:25:05and we just told people to go home like it was nothing.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Oh, what? We just missed one!

0:25:16 > 0:25:19THEY GIGGLE

0:25:19 > 0:25:20Hi.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30And then this woman...

0:25:31 > 0:25:33..started talking about her foot operation.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Well, Nero's party was epic.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Would have been better if you'd been there, then we could have stayed.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45That party didn't need to die!

0:25:45 > 0:25:47We must never be apart again!

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Bring it in, people.

0:25:51 > 0:25:52Oh.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58- Look, I'm sorry, yeah?- For what?

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Being a total Gollum all day, or landing me with Katie tonight?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Yeah. Yeah, both, OK?

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Good.

0:26:08 > 0:26:09I'm sorry, too.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21So, Katie and Roggle, hey?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Yeah. Wow.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Guess you can never tell who's going to make you happy.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30You know how I think I'm always...?

0:26:30 > 0:26:32- I know I can be stubborn sometimes...- Right.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37You ever wonder if we're just a bit too similar?

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Yeah, that's probably why we fight, isn't it?

0:26:43 > 0:26:46Ever wonder if maybe we're better off just as friends?

0:26:55 > 0:26:58So...friends, then?

0:27:03 > 0:27:04Yeah, OK, friends.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16Wouldn't swap my bed for all the luxury hotels in the world

0:27:16 > 0:27:18right now.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Just want to put my feet up and watch Don't Tell The Bride.

0:27:28 > 0:27:29What the...?

0:27:34 > 0:27:36THEY LAUGH

0:27:39 > 0:27:41- You know how I said we should never be apart again?- Yup.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43I was wrong.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45You're on your own with this one, son!

0:27:49 > 0:27:50# Can't live with 'em

0:27:50 > 0:27:51# And you can't kick 'em out

0:27:51 > 0:27:53# When they're up they rub it in your face

0:27:53 > 0:27:55- # Kick you when you're down - But what no-one understands them

0:27:55 > 0:27:57- # You know what they're on about - Always gonna be around

0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Gotta find a common ground

0:27:59 > 0:28:02# If you know so much about me

0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Where do I go from here?

0:28:04 > 0:28:05# If you see 'em every day

0:28:05 > 0:28:06# You can never get away

0:28:06 > 0:28:09# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #