Ring

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change

0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days

0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

0:00:28 > 0:00:29# 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Guys, guess what? We've got some news.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- You've only got six weeks to live. - No.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39- You're running away to clown school?- No.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41We're getting married.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Oh! Congratulations!

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Oh, well. Look at the bright side.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49One in three marriages ends in divorce.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53- When's the big day?- Don't know yet.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56- We've still got to save up for the wedding.- And childcare.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59And the house. So, probably...

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Three, or four years?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Well, we're all very happy for you.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10I only hope you find the happiness with Lizzie

0:01:10 > 0:01:12that eluded me with Anastasia.

0:01:13 > 0:01:18You know, sometimes, if I close my eyes and breathe really deeply,

0:01:18 > 0:01:19I can still smell her hair.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24When I think about how beautiful she would have looked

0:01:24 > 0:01:26on our wedding day... Oh, no!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Weirdo.

0:01:33 > 0:01:34BELL RINGS

0:01:40 > 0:01:44- Mate, I just want to say that I'm here for you.- Huh?

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Well, with Dexter getting married, your parents moving to Kuwait,

0:01:47 > 0:01:50it must feel like all the adults in your life just keep rejecting you.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52- No-one's rejecting me.- I did!

0:01:55 > 0:01:58After you told everyone I was dying. Remember?

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Hey, K, what's up?

0:02:00 > 0:02:04I'm here to ask my boyfriend what he's got me for my birthday.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Birthday?- It's today.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Of course it is, my little cupcake.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13I've got you a big surprise which I'll give you after school.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17Well, you better. Otherwise I'm going to snap all your pencils.

0:02:17 > 0:02:18HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Love you!

0:02:26 > 0:02:32- Hi. I'd like to cancel my wedding. - 'Yes, what day is it?'- It's, um...

0:02:32 > 0:02:35- tomorrow.- 'I'm sorry, you're too late.'- Too late?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Uh... Look, I really need that money.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40I promised my son we'd be getting a flat

0:02:40 > 0:02:42and I need the deposit by five or...

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Who are you talking to?

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- 'Hello?'- Um... No-one.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51- Then why are you sweating? - Oh, it's condensation.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54The ventilation in this caravan was pretty advanced in the '80s

0:02:54 > 0:02:56but technology's moved on.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Have you got the keys to the flat?

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Yeah.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Pick them up on Monday. New home, new start.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04Good.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Because if I have to spend another week in this skanky rust wreck,

0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm telling Mum you still kiss her wedding photo goodnight.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14- I was polishing it. - With your tongue?

0:03:14 > 0:03:16It's gentler on the glass.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19# My dad's a total numpty

0:03:19 > 0:03:21# Living in a cruddy caravan isn't comfy

0:03:21 > 0:03:24# Yep, I've got a rubbish teacher as a dad

0:03:24 > 0:03:26# It couldn't get any worse than that

0:03:26 > 0:03:27# Bad enough he's uncool

0:03:27 > 0:03:29# I've got to live in a sardine can for a room

0:03:29 > 0:03:31# Sharing it with my lame-o dad

0:03:31 > 0:03:33# Whose feet smell of sardines, that's a fact

0:03:33 > 0:03:35# He promised me that we'd move out soon

0:03:35 > 0:03:37# Into a nice flat with a perfect view

0:03:37 > 0:03:40# But while I'm stuck in this dump I'll make a point

0:03:40 > 0:03:42# Of showing Dad I'm at breaking point!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44# Son and dad on rough seas, bad vibes

0:03:44 > 0:03:45# One more wave this ship might capsize

0:03:45 > 0:03:47# When CJ finds out the new house

0:03:47 > 0:03:49# Is an old house and it's not a house

0:03:49 > 0:03:51# It's a caravan with no Wi-Fi

0:03:51 > 0:03:53# The same one that we're in right now

0:03:53 > 0:03:55# With a makeshift bed that's a wobbly table

0:03:55 > 0:03:58# He'll throw a wobbly and probably faint, too

0:03:58 > 0:03:59# Deep down I'm sure he loves me

0:03:59 > 0:04:02# But one more blunder, he'll never trust me...

0:04:05 > 0:04:07- BOTH:- # I'm at breaking point now

0:04:07 > 0:04:09# I'm at breaking point

0:04:09 > 0:04:11# I'm at breaking point now

0:04:11 > 0:04:13# I'm at breaking point

0:04:13 > 0:04:15# Stressed at home, stressed full stop

0:04:15 > 0:04:17# On a stress ride, someone make it stop

0:04:17 > 0:04:19# Got to get married in a big white dress

0:04:19 > 0:04:21# Everyone staring, sounds like stress

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- # What does stress sound like? - Sounds like this

0:04:24 > 0:04:25# The sound of screaming kids

0:04:25 > 0:04:28# Bills, but wedding bells sound like this

0:04:28 > 0:04:29# Marriage is a beautiful thing

0:04:29 > 0:04:32# Will Liz say yes if it stays like this?

0:04:32 > 0:04:36- ALL:- # I'm at breaking point now I'm at breaking point

0:04:36 > 0:04:39# I'm at breaking point now

0:04:39 > 0:04:41# I'm at breaking point

0:04:41 > 0:04:43# I'm at breaking point now

0:04:43 > 0:04:45# I'm at breaking point

0:04:45 > 0:04:47# I have to act now

0:04:47 > 0:04:49# Just to make a point! #

0:04:56 > 0:05:00- Ah, man of the moment.- OK. Thanks.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04What would you say if I told you that I could sell you a luxury

0:05:04 > 0:05:06three-course wedding buffet and disco

0:05:06 > 0:05:09for a once-in-a-lifetime discount?

0:05:09 > 0:05:11- How much?- 15.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Pounds?!- Thousand.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Sorry, we can barely make rent, let alone fork out that kind of money.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22Um... 3,000 then? And I'll throw in a DJ and a wedding dress.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Never worn.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26One-and-a-half then. 500.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29It includes a honeymoon.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Three weeks, all-inclusive, in Bermuda?

0:05:33 > 0:05:35You're off your noggin.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37How are you going to pull off a wedding in a day?

0:05:37 > 0:05:40You're marrying my sister. Ugh! That's gross.

0:05:40 > 0:05:41Bags I'm chief bridesmaid.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Which means you two are my deputy bridesmaids

0:05:44 > 0:05:47which means you have to do everything I say till the wedding.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Great, that's not going to get at all annoying(!)

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Are you sure you feel like that?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Cos I was going to ask you to be my best man.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- What, me?- Yeah.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00- What do I have to do?- Nothing.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Except...look after this ring till the big day.

0:06:05 > 0:06:06What?!

0:06:06 > 0:06:10- Bro, that's some serious bling. - It was my nan's.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13My grandad proposed to her on the deck of a steamship in World War II.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17- Promise me you won't lose it. - Swear.- Good.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19And Nero, thanks for being so cool about this.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I know you've had a lot of change in your life,

0:06:21 > 0:06:25- but you coming through for me like this, it means a lot.- No worries.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27- I'm really psyched for you, Dex. - Thanks.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Make sure you give me a little nudge so I can look away

0:06:29 > 0:06:31before you kiss the bride.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Don't want to bring up my brekkie.

0:06:35 > 0:06:40- He asked YOU to be the best man? - Why you saying it like that for?

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Let's look at the facts.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44You lost his phone, ruined his holiday,

0:06:44 > 0:06:46and got him arrested for burglary.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- You're not exactly the safe choice, are you?- Wrong.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Plus, I'm going to ask Polly to be my date.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56So it's all got to go exactly to plan.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Why don't you give me the ring? I'll take care of it for you

0:06:58 > 0:07:01and you won't look like a clueless berk in front of Polly.

0:07:01 > 0:07:02I'm not a clueless berk.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10- All right, fine. You look after the ring for me.- Good decision.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Remember, I'm always here for you, big man.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Even when it feels like the whole world has turned its back.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18TOY SQUEAKS

0:07:18 > 0:07:20- Hey! - HE WHISTLES

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Um, is there a dog in here?

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Or are you trying to get the attention of me, an actual human?

0:07:29 > 0:07:30All right, all right, I'm sorry.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32It's just, I wanted to ask you something.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36Is it, "Can I ruin your science experiment

0:07:36 > 0:07:39"and tell everyone in your favourite band you're dying?"

0:07:39 > 0:07:40No, not this time.

0:07:41 > 0:07:46- I wanted to make it up to you. - What? By never talking to me again?

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Polly, look, Dexter's getting married and he asked me

0:07:50 > 0:07:53to be his best man. And a best man has to have a best woman.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56So I wondered if you fancied being my...

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Nah, it's cool.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01You've probably got other plans. I'll see you over the summer, then.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03Maybe.

0:08:06 > 0:08:07Nero...

0:08:10 > 0:08:13What time are you picking me up?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Um, I'll text you the deets.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Dear, oh, dear. Finally cracked, eh?

0:08:34 > 0:08:36So, what are you going to do

0:08:36 > 0:08:38for your last night of freedom, the big stag?

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- I'm not having a stag night. - You've got to have a stag night!

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Stag night?

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Um... Can I bring CJ?

0:08:45 > 0:08:48We've been going through a bit of a rough time,

0:08:48 > 0:08:50so we could do with a boys' night out.

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Course you can, the more the merrier.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Don't worry, mate, I'll lay on some grade-A bants for you.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56You are going to turn up at your wedding looking like

0:08:56 > 0:08:58you've just helicoptered in from 'Nam.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Oh, a hen night! I'm in. - Er, you weren't invited.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06Yeah, but we all know that if the girls are hanging,

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Easy E's going to be there. I've always wanted to go to a hen night.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Will there be actual hens?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13What's all this about a hen night?

0:09:13 > 0:09:14None of your beeswax.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Well, it totally is because I'm chief bridesmaid.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Yeah, spill, sister,

0:09:19 > 0:09:23or my BFF is going to throw some serious shade all up in your face.

0:09:24 > 0:09:29Fine, you can come to the hen night. Miss Baker's, tonight, six o'clock.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34You're not inviting me? Well, too bad. Cos I'm coming.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Brilliant(!)

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Now the whole school is going to be there.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40I know, it's going to be so much fun.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42The ring? You did what?

0:09:42 > 0:09:43What do you mean, you lost it?

0:09:43 > 0:09:48I haven't, I haven't lost it, I've just...temporarily misplaced it.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50What?!

0:09:50 > 0:09:51Loving my birthday present.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54I thought you might have bought me something rubbish

0:09:54 > 0:09:57so I checked your bag to make sure I wasn't going to have to dump you.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00And I found it. Seriously blingy!

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Anyways, off on a hen night.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Laters!- Where you going, boys?

0:10:04 > 0:10:08It's stag time! Stag time.

0:10:08 > 0:10:12- I've just got to...- Don't think so, mate. It's banter o'clock.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Oi, Grant, you coming to play with the big boys?

0:10:14 > 0:10:19Nah, off to a hen night with my girl squad. Hashtag BFFs forever!

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Weirdo.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Wait a second!

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Katie's nicked off with Dexter's ring.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29I need you to get it back for me.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32I don't know, it seems like a major breach in girl code.

0:10:32 > 0:10:33Oh, no, please, come on.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Dexter's counting on me, and I can't mess up again in front of Polly.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38It's my last chance, bro.

0:10:40 > 0:10:44- OK. But you owe me big time. - Anything you want...

0:10:44 > 0:10:46- A shark with wheels that I can ride like a skateboard.- ..but that.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Right.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50BELL RINGS

0:10:52 > 0:10:56Honk honk! All aboard the banter bus, destination Lolsville!

0:10:56 > 0:11:00- We have fun, don't we?- All right, boys, kit on, it's in the bags.

0:11:00 > 0:11:01Oh, no, I'm not wearing this.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05Yes, you are, it's a stag do, and the banter is not optional.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10Maybe we should park the outfits.

0:11:10 > 0:11:11I think Dexter's right,

0:11:11 > 0:11:14I'm not sure how comfortable I am dressing as Wonder Woman.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Deal with it! Because this banter bus ain't stopping for anyone.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Honk honk!

0:11:24 > 0:11:26You're making her look like a gonk!

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Well, you're making her look like something a crow done an egg in!

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Aw, well relaxing, innit, Miss?

0:11:31 > 0:11:35Oh, you're right. This is relaxing.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38I can feel all my troubles melting away.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41This hen party has been fabulous.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44But maybe we should... call an early night.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46DOORBELL RINGS

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Who's that?

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Hey, Miss. Time for your spray tan.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Of course we weren't going to get in dressed like this.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57It's a universal rule.

0:11:57 > 0:12:02No trainers, no sportswear, no...whatever that is.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04It's a fitted bodice and a rara skirt.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06It's actually rather freeing.

0:12:06 > 0:12:11- Can we...can we just go home?- Look, this is a big night for me, yeah?

0:12:11 > 0:12:14It's my first-ever stag night. And his wedding.

0:12:14 > 0:12:18It has to be 100%, 24-carat banter from start to finish.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Otherwise we might as well be on a hen do.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23I know a lovely bistro round the corner.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26What sort of idiot spends their stag night in a bistro?

0:12:29 > 0:12:31This place is like a funeral parlour,

0:12:31 > 0:12:34except someone propped up the stiffs and put napkins in their collars.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Oi! What are you staring at?

0:12:36 > 0:12:39You never seen Batman having it large before?

0:12:39 > 0:12:40HONK HONK!

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Dad?

0:12:42 > 0:12:47Why did you take us to a restaurant that's more dead-end than your life?

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Not for long because...

0:12:49 > 0:12:52I happen to have bought my magical suitcase of wonderment.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Ta-da!

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Oh, no...

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Pick a card, any card. Any card.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Are you sure this is safe?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Yeah, I did a course, but I got chucked off.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14I waxed off someone's eyebrows while I was texting.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17And you're not going to make me look like an Oompa Loompa?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Don't worry, I like to go for a natural look, like,

0:13:19 > 0:13:22- somewhere between Rylan and an orange.- Rylan...?

0:13:22 > 0:13:26Just close your eyes and say, "Tanned and gorgeous."

0:13:26 > 0:13:27One, two, three...

0:13:27 > 0:13:29PHONE CHIMES Ooh!

0:13:29 > 0:13:30HISSING

0:13:33 > 0:13:35What?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39What?!

0:13:40 > 0:13:42And for my next trick...

0:13:46 > 0:13:49You better get me out of these, I'm running a half marathon next week

0:13:49 > 0:13:51and I don't fancy my chances with you hanging off of it.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53It's all right.

0:13:54 > 0:13:55Ta-da!

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Now, who wants to see my disappearing coin trick?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07How about the disappearing dad trick?

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Oi, Wizbit, a word.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13What's your problem?

0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Stop stealing my thunder, you big magic twerp.- Excuse me...

0:14:17 > 0:14:18This is my stag night

0:14:18 > 0:14:20and you're turning it into a kiddie's tea party.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Magic is a noble art form.- Wrong!

0:14:22 > 0:14:25It's a way for bowtied weirdoes to distract from their BO!

0:14:25 > 0:14:29You try washing all of your surfaces when you're showering in a caravan!

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Ha!

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Get out of that one, Houdini.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40HE CLEARS HIS THROAT Bill, please.

0:14:46 > 0:14:47Great.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Night before my wedding and I'm in the cells handcuffed to a chair.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52- HONK HONK! - Epic, right?

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Told you I'd lay on the bants for you, big boy. Selfie!

0:14:59 > 0:15:02I suppose this is as good a time as any to tell you...

0:15:02 > 0:15:05That you still love Mum. I know.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08You signed the divorce papers with a kiss.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12We're not moving in.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15I forgot to cancel the wedding and the only money I had left

0:15:15 > 0:15:17I spent on magical props to impress you over dinner.

0:15:19 > 0:15:20I'm sorry.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Listen, Dex, we'll work something out, trust me.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Like what? I'm getting married in less than 12 hours

0:15:27 > 0:15:29and I've been arrested for causing a public nuisance.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31I could go to prison, lose my job!

0:15:31 > 0:15:32What am I going to tell Lizzie?

0:15:35 > 0:15:37# Oh, no, what am I going to do?

0:15:37 > 0:15:39# Cuffed to a chair, locked up like a criminal

0:15:39 > 0:15:42# With no way of getting out, looks like I'm doomed

0:15:42 > 0:15:45# I'll have to call the wedding off, I'm such a fool

0:15:45 > 0:15:47# Oh, no, what am I going to do?

0:15:47 > 0:15:50# Can't turn up to my own wedding coloured blue

0:15:50 > 0:15:53# There'll be waves of laughter, like a typhoon

0:15:53 > 0:15:55# Complete disaster What'll I do?

0:15:55 > 0:15:57# If you had a blue Smurf right beside you

0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Wanting you marry them, would you say I do?

0:16:00 > 0:16:03# If Dexter sees me he'll say I don't

0:16:03 > 0:16:05# Pure stressed, like I guessed, and I can't cope

0:16:05 > 0:16:07# Imagine I call it off for me and Lizzie

0:16:07 > 0:16:10# Fail, split up and I live it rough with Mr Bell

0:16:10 > 0:16:12# Crying in my sleep What we could have been

0:16:12 > 0:16:15# Husband and wife with kids, but luck's running thin

0:16:15 > 0:16:17# To say I do

0:16:17 > 0:16:20# Or say I don't

0:16:20 > 0:16:22# What will I do?

0:16:22 > 0:16:25# I just don't know

0:16:25 > 0:16:27# To say I do

0:16:27 > 0:16:30# Or say I don't

0:16:30 > 0:16:32# What will I do?

0:16:32 > 0:16:35# I just don't know

0:16:35 > 0:16:38# If he calls it off I'll start crying

0:16:38 > 0:16:40# Just to think how so excited he was

0:16:40 > 0:16:43# For the wedding and trip to Bermuda

0:16:43 > 0:16:46# All called off for the stress of the last few years

0:16:46 > 0:16:48# Relationship down the drain

0:16:48 > 0:16:50# I feel like I'm losing everything

0:16:50 > 0:16:52# I wish I could say it's just a wind-up

0:16:52 > 0:16:55# But it's not It's time to make my mind up

0:16:55 > 0:16:57# I'm willing to fight for the man I love

0:16:57 > 0:17:00# Do I need a plan before time's up?

0:17:00 > 0:17:01# I do. #

0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm going to stay at Graham's tonight. Meet you there.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Brilliant idea.- Really?

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Yeah! You, erm...

0:17:10 > 0:17:11You enjoy your lads' night out.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14Oi, oi, or whatever it is lads say to each other.

0:17:14 > 0:17:15Is everything all right?

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Yeah, of course.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21Just think - this time tomorrow, we'll be in Bermuda.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Yeah, you're right, just think of Bermuda. Night-night.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29HE SIGHS

0:17:38 > 0:17:40SNORING

0:17:51 > 0:17:52Morning, gents.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55- Emily?- Dexter.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57You know, when they said a man had been arrested,

0:17:57 > 0:17:59handcuffed to a chair, I thought it might be you.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06SIREN WAILS

0:18:18 > 0:18:20- Thanks. Owe you one.- No problem.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23I just don't want to see you in here again, young man.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24Oh, and, Dex...

0:18:24 > 0:18:28- Yeah?- She's a very lucky lady, and hopefully a patient one.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37He'll be here. Dexter wouldn't let me down.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46"Welcome to the wedding of Anastasia Cook and Crispin Bell"?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48CRISPIN SIGHS

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Oh, I forgot to tell the venue about the name change.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Probably should have told some of the guests as well.

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Hey, David, how was the flight?

0:18:56 > 0:18:57- Can I have the ring?- Sure.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I'm just going to give it a little polish.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08PHONE RINGS

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Hello?

0:19:12 > 0:19:15Eli, where are you, fam? I need that ring.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Ah, yeah, that.

0:19:18 > 0:19:19Mate, you had one job!

0:19:19 > 0:19:23Eleesha gave me a head massage and I sort of nodded off.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Telling you, that girl has magic hands.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28What am I supposed to tell Dex?

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Maybe...chill out and have a head rub?

0:19:34 > 0:19:35Nero?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- THEY LAUGH - Am I having a hallumination

0:19:48 > 0:19:51or is this actually literally happening?

0:20:06 > 0:20:10Oh, Nero, you look lovely!

0:20:12 > 0:20:16Sorry, long story, but can I say, you look absolutely...?

0:20:16 > 0:20:19AUDIENCE GASP

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Oh, erm...

0:20:21 > 0:20:24The important thing is we're both marrying the right person.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to witness

0:20:27 > 0:20:31the wedding of Crispin Ferdinand Algernon Bell and Anastasia Cook.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- HE WHISPERS:- Dexter and Lizzie.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36I mean, Dexter and Lizzie.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38The ring?

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Like he said, long story.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Sorry.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59I promised this wouldn't be stressful, then I get arrested,

0:20:59 > 0:21:02you get painted blue and we get married with some pick and mix.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05It's brilliant. Isn't it?

0:21:05 > 0:21:06Eh?

0:21:06 > 0:21:09When I first met you, my life was ordinary and organised

0:21:09 > 0:21:12and predictable, and to be completely honest,

0:21:12 > 0:21:13a little bit boring.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17And, well, now it's a little bit...Dextery.

0:21:19 > 0:21:20And I think I like it.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24And chair. SHE GIGGLES

0:21:28 > 0:21:30What did I miss?

0:21:30 > 0:21:34Me looking like a complete twonk in front of Polly, thanks to you.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Sorry, I... I can make it up to you. I'll do anything, you name it.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Um, er, get the ring back.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Cool. Yeah, totally.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Just as soon as I've had some of that delicious trifle.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51Leave it to me.

0:21:53 > 0:21:54You're going to tell her?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56If the events of today have taught me anything,

0:21:56 > 0:21:58it's that honesty is always the best policy.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00I hope it is, anyway.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02Wish me luck.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08Wow, you really messed that up.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13I'd say it's the stupidest thing you've ever done

0:22:13 > 0:22:15but there's so much competition.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Eh, yeah, I know.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20I blew it.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Oh, well, it's been nice knowing you.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24What are you talking about?

0:22:24 > 0:22:27You're the most entertainment that I've ever had, Nero Johnson.

0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Me?- Come on, let's dance.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33What?!

0:22:35 > 0:22:38You're dumped, you cheeseball!

0:22:38 > 0:22:40THEY LAUGH

0:22:43 > 0:22:44How did it go?

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Well...

0:22:46 > 0:22:48terribly.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50She dumped me.

0:22:50 > 0:22:51I'm free!

0:22:51 > 0:22:53I'm finally free!

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Don't go anywhere.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06Found these.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09So, where do you reckon - wrist or elbow?

0:23:09 > 0:23:10Neither.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Oh.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Hey, I got your ring back! DEXTER SIGHS

0:23:20 > 0:23:23I'm so sorry for being such a rubbish best man.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26It's cool. The important thing is I'm here,

0:23:26 > 0:23:28getting married to the woman I love, with the people I care about.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38THEY CHUCKLE

0:23:38 > 0:23:41- I'm going to miss you. - Hey, I'm only going to Bermuda.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Yeah, about that, I've just been on the phone to the airline.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Apparently it's too late to change the name on the tickets.

0:23:46 > 0:23:47- You're joking.- But don't worry...

0:23:49 > 0:23:52..I've arranged a luxury holiday, and I think you're going to like it.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Three cheers for the bride and groom!

0:23:56 > 0:23:58ALL: Hip hip hooray!

0:23:58 > 0:23:59Hip hip hooray!

0:24:00 > 0:24:02Hip hip hooray!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Yes! Come on! Yes!

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Oh, young love.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Nice one, Dad - now we're homeless!

0:24:31 > 0:24:34No, cos I swapped the caravan for these.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Oh! Ta-da!

0:24:37 > 0:24:39They're Dex's keys to the flat.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41For the whole summer.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43So we can finally move out of that caravan.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Thanks, Dad!- It's OK.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47- No touching.- OK.

0:24:51 > 0:24:55Well, looks like everything worked out in the end.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57I told you I'd come through for you, mate. I always do.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03So, Polly, how about that dance, then?

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Come on.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- SHE WHISTLES - Here, boy.

0:25:09 > 0:25:10Fancy a bit of a boogie?

0:25:10 > 0:25:13Yeah, but only because we feel sorry for you.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15- Yeah.- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Ladies, may I?

0:25:18 > 0:25:22No, but you can hold my dress out the way while I do the Nae Nae.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29Hey, guys, who am I going to dance with?

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Who do you think, loser? It's your lucky day.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35I'm single!

0:25:35 > 0:25:37THEY LAUGH

0:25:41 > 0:25:43# Uh

0:25:43 > 0:25:44# Yeah, yeah

0:25:45 > 0:25:46# Uh, uh

0:25:48 > 0:25:49# We're all right

0:25:49 > 0:25:51# It's the end of an old chapter

0:25:51 > 0:25:52# And beginning of a new one

0:25:52 > 0:25:54# Looking back, thinking what have you done?

0:25:54 > 0:25:56# From moving out to moving in

0:25:56 > 0:25:58# Dexter getting married and I lose the ring

0:25:58 > 0:26:01# Got it back last minute, were you tuning in?

0:26:01 > 0:26:03# Said bye to a friend that I'll never forget

0:26:03 > 0:26:05# And said hi to a friend that's new on the end

0:26:05 > 0:26:08# It's Polly - is this the start of new beginnings?

0:26:08 > 0:26:10# Sometimes change has got to come

0:26:10 > 0:26:12# New life, same school

0:26:12 > 0:26:15# New people, new girl in the crew

0:26:15 > 0:26:18# Nero isn't such a fool after all

0:26:18 > 0:26:20# Even when it's going down

0:26:20 > 0:26:22# Good times come around

0:26:22 > 0:26:24# When the love is found

0:26:24 > 0:26:27# Don't you frown

0:26:27 > 0:26:29# Even when it's going down

0:26:29 > 0:26:31# Good times will come around

0:26:31 > 0:26:34# When the love is found

0:26:34 > 0:26:35# New beginnings

0:26:35 > 0:26:37# Remember when we hid our love in school

0:26:37 > 0:26:39# Even though we've been together so it's nothing new?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41# Tying the knot, for sure, that's something new

0:26:41 > 0:26:44# Edible rings sure was something cool

0:26:44 > 0:26:46- # Something old or new - Something borrowed, something blue

0:26:46 > 0:26:48# Now my wife is the prettiest Smurf of all

0:26:48 > 0:26:50# Well, I'm glad I could be of service

0:26:50 > 0:26:53# I had to hold back tears in the service

0:26:53 > 0:26:56# And the end of me and Anastasia only means a new beginning

0:26:56 > 0:26:58# For Dexter and Miss Baker

0:26:58 > 0:27:00# Oi, let's not forget my epic stag

0:27:00 > 0:27:02# Let's not forget that this is my verse, in fact

0:27:02 > 0:27:04# It's a new beginning in me and CJ's flat

0:27:04 > 0:27:06- # You mean temporary home? - Yeah, something like that

0:27:06 > 0:27:09# I'm happy I'm an auntie with two new nephews

0:27:09 > 0:27:11# Hoping I can get away with more stuff and

0:27:11 > 0:27:13# Never get caught in the act

0:27:13 > 0:27:16# With your bridesmaids Violet and Darnesh watching your back

0:27:16 > 0:27:18# Well, who would have thought I'd have such an appeal

0:27:18 > 0:27:20# I'd end up with a girlfriend against my will?

0:27:20 > 0:27:22# But change is fine and exciting still

0:27:22 > 0:27:24# Katie is everything but predictable

0:27:24 > 0:27:28# No idea what's around the corner but that's what life's about

0:27:28 > 0:27:30# Yeah, and I'm all for it Yeah!

0:27:30 > 0:27:32# Even when it's going down

0:27:32 > 0:27:34# Good times will come around

0:27:34 > 0:27:37# When the love is found

0:27:37 > 0:27:39# Don't you frown

0:27:39 > 0:27:41# Even when it's going down

0:27:41 > 0:27:43# Good times will come around

0:27:43 > 0:27:46# When the love is found

0:27:46 > 0:27:48# New beginnings. #

0:27:49 > 0:27:50# Can't live with 'em

0:27:50 > 0:27:51# And you can't kick 'em out

0:27:51 > 0:27:53# When they're up they rub it in your face

0:27:53 > 0:27:54# Kick you when you're down

0:27:54 > 0:27:55# But when no-one understands them

0:27:55 > 0:27:56# You know what they're on about

0:27:56 > 0:27:57# Always gonna be around

0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Gotta find a common ground

0:27:59 > 0:28:02# If you know so much about me

0:28:02 > 0:28:04# Where do I go from here?

0:28:04 > 0:28:05# If you see 'em every day

0:28:05 > 0:28:06# You can never get away

0:28:06 > 0:28:09# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #