0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 o'clock
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Someone going to help me with this? - In a minute!
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Just looking at Owen's house-warming present from Katie.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44OWEN EXHALES
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- Ta-da!- Oh, I don't like it.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I've shut my eyes, but I can still see it.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56So...pretty cool new bedroom, right?
0:00:57 > 0:01:01To be honest, mate, it's a bit really horrible.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Yeah, why DO you want to live in a garage?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Well, it's mostly so that I...
0:01:06 > 0:01:10..don't have to share a room with my brother.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11ELI LAUGHS
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- You don't have a brother!- Yes, I do.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16I just never talk about him and pretend he doesn't exist.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19But he makes that quite hard, so I find myself...
0:01:19 > 0:01:24Hello, inadequate older brother. Got the last of your things.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Mother says to come up for supper this evening at six.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30She's making salmon.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34When will that woman learn the finer things in life are wasted on you?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43THAT kid's your brother?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- Hence me moving down here. - Oh, I wish I had my own place.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I've been on that piggin' sofa for two months.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Them babies were up eight times last night.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Eli, will you please help?! - OK, OK!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55You need to calm down, Nero.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Stress too much and you'll make yourself ill.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Wait, why didn't you just bring that
0:01:59 > 0:02:00through the garage door?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02ELI AND NERO STRAIN
0:02:02 > 0:02:06- BOTH:- Ugh. - Oh... That's horrible.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Hey, you can't be rude when someone buys you a present.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11We didn't buy it. Eli got it from a skip on Green Street.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Can I be rude about it now? - Oh, come on, mate, it's mint.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Someone's made a massive mistake in throwing this out.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19It does look quite comfy.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23I suppose I could get a throw and some cushions.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Hey!- What?
0:02:26 > 0:02:28You said it - I need to relax.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36PUPILS LAUGH
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Eleesha!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41THUD
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- PUPILS: Ooh... - Listen up, delinquents.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Today you will be assisted by children
0:02:45 > 0:02:47from the Gifted and Talented Stream.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Not these geeky swots.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Sounds like a novel and enlightened initiative to me, sir.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56He's one of them!
0:02:56 > 0:03:01While you and I know that you will amount to nothing,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Mrs Goodman refuses to believe it.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07So, pair up, sit back and let the clever kids do the work, yes?
0:03:09 > 0:03:14- History?- Yeah, yeah, come in. We don't bite.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Sit down, boy.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Actually, I think Eli might.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17ELI BARKS AND SNARLS
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- That's enough, Grant. - Yeah, come on, guys. Settle down.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Come on, let's get on with it, yeah?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Hey, Polly. Come on, be my partner.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34If we're going to do this, we should play to your strengths.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39OK, what, my awesome good looks, on-point crepes and sick hair?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41The fact that you are a massive show-off.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46It's barely broken at all, get back out there.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Yeah, I bought him a diamond ear stud,
0:03:48 > 0:03:51it looks huge in his mini ear.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55Proper swag, THAT'S how you look after babies.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You bought your nephews anything?
0:03:58 > 0:03:59No, I'm skint.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Some people are such povvo losers.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Yeah, I haven't bought anything because I'm making them
0:04:06 > 0:04:08something much more personal,
0:04:08 > 0:04:12not like any old shop-bought thing that any old random could buy.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Oi, Ingham, get in goal.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- You lot, on your toes.- And what is this awesome handmade thing?
0:04:19 > 0:04:24I don't know, do I? I'll just knock something up. How hard can it be?
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Next up on Meet the Ancient Egyptians,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29we have Cleopatra, everybody!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Now, Cleo, am I right in saying you were a ruthless murderer?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Well, I did poison my sisters and brothers,
0:04:37 > 0:04:40but that was totally normal behaviour in Egypt at the time.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- And you were a total babe? - What's all this?
0:04:43 > 0:04:47It's supposed to be a history presentation.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49That means that my nose was bent.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51All right, Cleo-patronising!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53LAUGHTER
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Now, is there any myth about you that is true then?
0:04:56 > 0:05:00- Well, I did let a snake bite me in an unexpected place.- You mean...?
0:05:00 > 0:05:01In the bath!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06What a brilliant way of getting the facts across.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- I'm seriously impressed. - Well, what can I say?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11We can be seriously impressive, Miss.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13BELL RINGS
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Ooh! Actually, I wonder if I can persuade you to do it again.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20We've got some potential sponsors coming tomorrow and this is
0:05:20 > 0:05:23exactly the kind of thing I'd like to show them.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Eh...I don't think so, Miss.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Of course, no problem!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Great!
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- What? That went down well?- Yeah, to your freaky mates. No offence.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38ELI BARKS
0:05:38 > 0:05:40This is a whole different thing.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44# I don't usually volunteer for extra work
0:05:44 > 0:05:46# But a little extra work wouldn't hurt
0:05:46 > 0:05:48# I don't care about Henry VIII, Genghis Khan
0:05:48 > 0:05:50# Ancient Egyptians or Joan of Arc
0:05:50 > 0:05:52# Or prancing around like a major doughnut
0:05:52 > 0:05:54# But you know what? This is my chance to grow up
0:05:54 > 0:05:58# Step up and rewrite history, make up for the volcano incident
0:05:58 > 0:06:01# Spend time with Polly, practise our sketch
0:06:01 > 0:06:03# Get it right, prove to her I'm the man, I'm the best
0:06:03 > 0:06:05# And I'm not the idiot that she thinks I is... I am!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07# No, I'm not, man, you get the gist
0:06:07 > 0:06:09# I can't do this, Nero's an idiot
0:06:09 > 0:06:11# We've got history - it's all hideous
0:06:11 > 0:06:13# Last time messed up my presentation
0:06:13 > 0:06:16# And made me look a right fool in front of the school
0:06:16 > 0:06:17# Not doing that again
0:06:17 > 0:06:20# Can't let him lead me astray
0:06:20 > 0:06:24# Leave my schoolwork in disarray
0:06:24 > 0:06:28# You have to learn from history, can I rewrite history?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29# History repeats itself
0:06:29 > 0:06:32# But you can learn from the past and change your destiny
0:06:32 > 0:06:34# What if the sketch goes horribly wrong
0:06:34 > 0:06:37# I get dropped out of class with the 4 o'clock-sters
0:06:37 > 0:06:38# OK, so the first one went well
0:06:38 > 0:06:40# And, yes, I enjoyed myself
0:06:40 > 0:06:45# And maybe Nero's not a fool, I guess sometimes he's kind of cool
0:06:45 > 0:06:49# Is it worth a try, should I give him a chance? I don't know!
0:06:49 > 0:06:51# Put on a good show, who knows what we're in for
0:06:51 > 0:06:53# More shows, bowing down to an encore
0:06:53 > 0:06:55# Polly throwing her arms round the prince
0:06:55 > 0:06:56# Lost in my eyes and she gives me a...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58# Wait, wait, wait!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00# So you can't change history
0:07:00 > 0:07:02# And things might turn out terribly
0:07:02 > 0:07:04# But we can turn change our destiny
0:07:04 > 0:07:06# Make this go successfully
0:07:06 > 0:07:08# And the beauty is, future's a mystery
0:07:08 > 0:07:11# If we just get this right, it could be heavenly
0:07:11 > 0:07:13# History repeats itself
0:07:13 > 0:07:16# But we can learn from the past and change your destiny. #
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Look, Polly, just accept it, you wrote something really good,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21so let's just show everyone, OK?
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Well... Thanks.- Yes! Great. OK, I think that we should...
0:07:29 > 0:07:32What? You all right?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36I've got to scratch.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- It's slang for "go". Cool slang.- Wait!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43If we do this, we have to do it properly.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46We write, rehearse, spend all our spare time on it.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Yeah, absolutely, I agree. - Starting now.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51HIGH-PITCHED: No. See ya!
0:08:05 > 0:08:06All right?
0:08:09 > 0:08:13No. I was talking to Polly, everything was jokes, and then boom.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Itch.- I did say if you didn't manage your stress levels, you'd get ill.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Yeah, that really chilled me out - NOT.
0:08:19 > 0:08:24Is there any way you could go home, get an early night? Relax.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Oh, we can't just go on calling them "this one" and "that one".
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- We have to register the births by tomorrow.- Hi.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Erm, well, you like the names Albert and Faraday, right?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Why don't we call them that?- OK.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Which one looks like an Albert? - Erm...
0:08:48 > 0:08:51No food, is it? Standard.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Dexter!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58All this drama is making me ill, you know.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- I'm going to get stress rash. - Cereal, here.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Sorry.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07So, Faraday and Albert...
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Good, right, yes. I think maybe this one looks more like an Albert.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13What do you think?
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Yeah, that little mouth just screams out Albert Baker-Harris.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23- So, we're agreed.- Yeah. Why don't I go and register the names tomorrow?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- You could have a nice rest. - Great idea. Starting now.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41- Sorry.- Oh, yeah? For what? Shouting at me, me having to give up my room?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- Or me not getting any sleep, ever? - All of it.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46The shouting, the room, the sleep.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49The fact Lizzie used your rucksack as a nappy bag.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- You what? - I'm not doing a very good job, am I?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Oh, come on, stop being lame, you'll get the hang of it.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I can't tell them apart.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05- The twins.- Course you can, you loser. Shut up.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06Nope.
0:10:10 > 0:10:17- OK, well, we can fix this. Which one did Lizzie say was Albert?- That one.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20So keep him on the left, always. That way you will know.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Like Ant and Dec.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- That's genius.- Yep, that's me.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30OK, Albert, Faraday, time for a little feed, guys.
0:10:31 > 0:10:37Now, where is your milk? Where is your special bottle of Mummy's milk?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Where's your...?
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Ohhh! Ew-ew-ew!
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Hmm.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52KNOCK ON DOOR
0:11:05 > 0:11:07OWEN STUTTERS
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Excuse me, what's going on? N-No.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17HE SIGHS
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Oh, so I see you have made yourself at home.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29You said I was welcome any time, fam.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Yes, I meant for a cup of tea,
0:11:30 > 0:11:32I didn't think you are going to move in.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Anyway, I thought this was supposed to go once I came here.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Well, it's only been one night,
0:11:36 > 0:11:39the effects of stress can take weeks to wear off.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Right, well, I have Googled all your symptoms,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43and it is pretty clear that...
0:11:46 > 0:11:48..it could be a number of different things.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52There's only one thing for it, mate.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56You're going to have to let the donkey see the carrot.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- What, you mean...? - Yeah, let's have a look.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Eh...
0:12:01 > 0:12:02OK, I...
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- ALL:- Whoa-whoa-whoa!
0:12:04 > 0:12:05My eyes.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Take a picture of the affected area and we will take a look.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Oh, yeah, that's a much better idea.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19- What's this?- Now you're back in my room, I've drawn up some rules.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21It's not YOUR room.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26- Possession is nine tenths of the law.- See, now I'm stressed too.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Come to think of it, I'm properly itchy too.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Me too, I feel like my skin has got the wiggles.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32- You're not really itchy,
0:12:32 > 0:12:36it's just all in your head, just ignore it and it will go away.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37HE SIGHS
0:12:40 > 0:12:42ELEESHA GROANS
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Nargh!
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Here you go.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01No, I don't want them to see my private property!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- I'll describe it to you. Imagine... - Stop, no!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06I don't want them to hear it either.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11All right, look, I'll do some research, find out...
0:13:11 > 0:13:12What am I supposed to do then?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15I have to rehearse with Polly, I can't do that if I'm
0:13:15 > 0:13:16doing this every five minutes.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20I know - superglue your hands into your pockets.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25Like, one hand on your hip, one hand in your pocket.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28More casual, like...
0:13:28 > 0:13:32OR you could just go to the chemist and buy some cream.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Today is a good day.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40We're on time for our appointment, you're not crying,
0:13:40 > 0:13:41I'm not crying.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44HE MIMICS CAR ENGINE
0:13:44 > 0:13:47HE MIMICS TYRES SCREECHING
0:13:47 > 0:13:50And, I even know which one of you is which. Go, team.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54HE HUMS A TUNE
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- So, Faraday is on the left... - Dexter Harris?- Yep.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Oh, you couldn't do me a favour, could you?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- I just need to pop to the loo. - No worries.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06I'll wait here with these two.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13I've been up all night making my baby gift. What do you reckon?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- It's lumpy.- It's handmade.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18All those tiny little imperfections
0:14:18 > 0:14:20just show how unique and special it is.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22How about those giant, gaping holes?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Cooie!- Ventilation.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Brilliant. Where's the other one?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Well, I only had time to make one.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34But they're twins, they've got to learn to share, ain't they?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36You're not really going to give them that?
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Nah, I've got to sew this on first.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- SIGHING:- Tragic.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48There you go, love.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Nice bit of cream. Just spread it thinly on the...
0:14:50 > 0:14:52- Yep, bye now. - If it is an allergy,
0:14:52 > 0:14:56you should notice a reduction in the itching in, ooh, one to two hours?
0:14:56 > 0:14:57Thanks, I've really got to go.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59But you still need to root out the...
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Yep, I hear you!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- .. or you'll just keep getting itchy buttocks!- Thank you, bye!
0:15:07 > 0:15:08There, there.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- Oh, no, no, you've moved them! - They were grizzling.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Thought I should do something, I hope that was OK.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21# No, it's not OK, nothing's OK
0:15:21 > 0:15:23# Just when I thought things were going my way
0:15:23 > 0:15:25# Had these two babies presented to me
0:15:25 > 0:15:27# And I don't even have a name for their face
0:15:27 > 0:15:29# Or which kid is which, I'm feeling quite shamed
0:15:29 > 0:15:31# Somebody show me the door to escape
0:15:31 > 0:15:33# I can't admit the truth to the registrar
0:15:33 > 0:15:36# Want to bury my head in the mud
0:15:36 > 0:15:38# No, it's not OK, nothing's OK
0:15:38 > 0:15:40# Things just don't look like they're going my way
0:15:40 > 0:15:42# I've got an itch that's not going away
0:15:42 > 0:15:44# Why did this have to happen today?
0:15:44 > 0:15:46# I was trying to make a good impression
0:15:46 > 0:15:49# But I'm scratching my bum every second
0:15:49 > 0:15:50# I just wish I had broken a leg
0:15:50 > 0:15:53# At least that's something I could have said
0:15:53 > 0:15:56# Got two babies that I can't imadge
0:15:56 > 0:16:01# Like a favour that you can't cash
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- BOTH:- # It's like an itch that you can't scratch
0:16:05 > 0:16:08# And it's not OK, no, it's not OK
0:16:08 > 0:16:11# And it's not OK, I don't know twin from twin
0:16:11 > 0:16:13# But they're not quadruplets, only two of them
0:16:13 > 0:16:15# So statistically speaking, I'm fine
0:16:15 > 0:16:17# 50% chance of getting it right
0:16:17 > 0:16:21# And of getting it wrong, and Lizzie will hate me for evermore
0:16:21 > 0:16:23# And the kids will never forgive me
0:16:23 > 0:16:25# When they grow up and learn of their history
0:16:25 > 0:16:27# But for now, I've just got to man up
0:16:27 > 0:16:29# Name them and hope that I don't get mixed up
0:16:29 > 0:16:31# None of this carelessness, need to fix up
0:16:31 > 0:16:34# Babies depending on me to be tough and robust
0:16:34 > 0:16:35# OK, I've messed this one up
0:16:35 > 0:16:38# I'm going to name them and keep fingers crossed
0:16:38 > 0:16:40# Who knows? It might just work out how I want
0:16:40 > 0:16:42# Trust in my instincts and pull this one off
0:16:42 > 0:16:46# Got two babies that I can't imadge
0:16:46 > 0:16:50# Like a favour that you can't cash
0:16:50 > 0:16:55# It's like an itch that you can't scratch
0:16:55 > 0:16:59# And it's not OK, no, it's not OK... #
0:16:59 > 0:17:02And this baby's name is?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Uh... Albert. This one's Albert.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Probably.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- How'd it go?- Nightmare. Seriously, I can't think
0:17:14 > 0:17:16of anything more horrifically embarrassing.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Hey, Nero. What you doing?
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Everything OK?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21NERO MUMBLES NERVOUSLY
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yeah. Everything's fine.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- He's just getting some cream for his itchy...- Beard!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Beard?
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Yes, my beard. It grows fast.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34And then I have to shave it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39And then I need moisturiser, which I get - from the chemist.
0:17:39 > 0:17:45Right. So... rehearsals? Got any time now?
0:17:45 > 0:17:50Oh, no. But look, hey, what you doing in...
0:17:50 > 0:17:52one to two hours?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Thank you so much,
0:17:56 > 0:17:59and if we needed to change their names for some reason...
0:17:59 > 0:18:03That would be very hard. This is a matter of public record.
0:18:03 > 0:18:09Right, yeah, of course. So, just to recap, we called this baby...
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Faraday.- Right, can I just borrow this?
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- I just need to make a note. - That's permanent marker!
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- Brilliant, it will stay on for ages.- Eh, Mr Harris!
0:18:20 > 0:18:24- All right then.- Oh! - Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Let me just...
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Oh!
0:18:32 > 0:18:36That works. So Fara-day is covered in red spray,
0:18:36 > 0:18:39and Albert is nert. Thanks again.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Hopefully that cream will help.- Yeah.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52And if not, someone is bound to know what's up when they see that photo.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57- What are you talking about? - Good morning, everybody.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02I've called this special assembly to discuss something very serious.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07Somebody has sent an indecent image of an intimate part
0:19:07 > 0:19:10of their anatomy to a large number of other pupils.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13PUPILS GASP AND CHATTER
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- You sent it to everyone? - Oh, relax.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25I can't relax, you're going to make the stress itch come back, Eli.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Come BACK? So it's gone?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32The cream worked. I have to find Polly.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37We've got a presentation to rehearse.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39You know, at my last school, we all make copies
0:19:39 > 0:19:41and sent them to the headmaster. I broke the photocopier.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Because I was sitting on it, not because I've got a horrible...
0:19:44 > 0:19:45- Mr Nunn.- All right?
0:19:45 > 0:19:50- We were just talking about that photo.- Uh. Terrible, isn't it?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52It's a bit itchy, that's for sure.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Well, I'm glad you feel so strongly about it, Graham,
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- because I'm actually looking for somebody to investigate.- Eh?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Some potential sponsors are visiting this morning and we really
0:20:03 > 0:20:05do need to make a good impression.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09So, I want the culprit identified and disciplined.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Hang on, I can't just...
0:20:12 > 0:20:14I knew you were the man for the job.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19HE SIGHS
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Eughhhh.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Yuck.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Your sister's never going to speak to you again
0:20:26 > 0:20:27if you get her babies that.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29No, Lizzie is going to love it.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Yeah, if by "love" you mean "vom all over herself".
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Look, come round her flat tonight and witness
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- the eternal hat gratitude. - You're on, Baker.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Hello.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49- How the go?- Good, I think.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Here's...Faraday.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Hello, Faraday.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Did you have a good day with your Da-Da?
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- You all right?- Yeah. Just fine.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- You don't mean...? - In the bath.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- You were amazing.- I suppose you weren't completely awful.
0:21:30 > 0:21:35Just between us, that young man is one of our more challenging pupils.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39I like to credit the caring and supportive environment
0:21:39 > 0:21:44we've tried to create at Elmsmere with steadily raising his standards.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47All right, own up, who's the phantom booty snapper? Is this you?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Is this you? Is this you?!
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Sir, you could get in serious trouble for showing me that.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Don't talk to me about rules, I AM the rules!
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Yeah(!)
0:22:01 > 0:22:06Sorry about that. THIS is what we are dealing with.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09But don't worry, I've got things under control.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Right, well, where were we?
0:22:21 > 0:22:27- BABYISH VOICE:- Don't you love your auntie? Don't you love your auntie?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Stop asking them, they're not going to answer.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Stupid. They're babies.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I'm off.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- See ya.- LIZZIE:- Bye, Nero.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Nero, wait up.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45You know you don't have to move out. This is more your place
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- than it is mine. - Nah, you need the space.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- Where you going to put all that washing?- It's just...
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- It's the end of an era. - I'm cool at Owen's.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54Anyway, it's not forever,
0:22:54 > 0:22:56it's just until you get sorted, innit?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58And I'll be back for Sunday dinner, and washing,
0:22:58 > 0:22:59and pocket money and stuff.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- OK.- Bring it in, man.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11Speaking of pocket money, you couldn't...? You know, for the bus.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13DEXTER SIGHS DEEPLY
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Well, at least I've still got you, Albert and Faraday.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36SHE SOBS
0:23:36 > 0:23:38What'd I say?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40What'd I say?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43HE EXHALES
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- What's up? - I can't tell the twins apart.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- Oh.- That's why it took me so long naming them,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54I was trying to figure out which one was which.
0:23:54 > 0:23:59- But I can't.- I can't tell them apart either.- Really?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- Oh, that's brilliant!- I know, but...
0:24:02 > 0:24:03here's the thing.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10We do need to get their names right from now on, now it's official.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12What are we going to do?
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- Well, I was going to write them on in permanent marker.- Great idea.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18But the registrar wouldn't let me.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23- Stupid registrar.- But then I spilled red drink all over Faraday's bib.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26So we just need to keep Faraday dirtier than Albert.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Plan.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37This is just another reason why I'm such a good auntie. Proactive, see?
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Seen a dirty bib, changed it. - Which one had the dirty bib on?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Eh...that one?
0:24:45 > 0:24:49- Or was it that one? - Well, it was definitely one of them.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52It was helping me tell them apart!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56You can't tell them apart? You people are well terrible parents.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Now how will we know which one is Albert and which one is Faraday?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Erm...Faraday?
0:25:03 > 0:25:04BABY GURGLES
0:25:04 > 0:25:06He knows his name!
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Faraday.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09BABY GIGGLES
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Oh! You clever little chap.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I'd just like to give you a very special gift.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Oh. Thank you, sis.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22Wow.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Brilliant.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29This is just what we need.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Have you gone blind in your eyes?
0:25:32 > 0:25:34You wanted a horrible hat?
0:25:35 > 0:25:40It's not a horrible hat. Look, guys, look what Amber made.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Handmade, see? Can't go wrong.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45And that's the kettle. Tea-time.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Your sister is well weird.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I don't want none of that tea.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Aww. Clever little Faraday. You're not so bad either, Albert.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Faraday.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00BABY GIGGLES
0:26:00 > 0:26:02- Violin. - BABY GIGGLES
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Potato. Hovercraft?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06CHATTERING AND GIGGLING CONTINUES
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- So which one is which?- Not a word.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19We get so distracted by the babies, our tea is always going cold.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22This tea cosy is such a good idea.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Yeah, I'm going to take this down. Spray up some graffiti.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28No, you are not.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34- Probably going to get some decks, you know.- Nice.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35Does it have any juice?
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Oh, sorry, how rude, let me show you.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44Oh, the world, my friend, is getting better.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- What you doing here?- Come to get some of your cream, haven't we?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Hand it over, pimples.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52We're proper itchy.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I've told you guys, the itching is all in your mind.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Yeah, well, my mind must be living somewhere other than my head then.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Cos my cheeks are proper burning.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03- Hey, Polly.- Hey, Eli.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I just got a text from my mum, it's about you, Nero.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10Ah. Wanting to hear about my excellent performance today?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14No, it's about your bum.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19She's the chemist, she met you earlier.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I showed her the photo that Eli sent me of your rash,
0:27:22 > 0:27:24and she's been cross-referencing it.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28- She reckons it's flea bites. - Flea bites?- Yeah.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Been in contact with any animals recently,
0:27:30 > 0:27:32bought any second-hand furniture?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- ALL:- Ahh!
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I'm so, so sorry.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41What?
0:27:44 > 0:27:45# Can't live with 'em
0:27:45 > 0:27:47# And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:47 > 0:27:48# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:48 > 0:27:50# Kick you when you're down
0:27:50 > 0:27:51# But what no-one understands them
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- # You know what they're on about - Always gonna be around
0:27:53 > 0:27:54# Gotta find a common ground
0:27:54 > 0:27:58# If you know so much about me
0:27:58 > 0:27:59# Where do I go from here?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# If you see 'em every day
0:28:01 > 0:28:02# You can never get away
0:28:02 > 0:28:05# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #