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0:00:39 > 0:00:40Charlie,

0:00:40 > 0:00:43did you not think the washing machine might break the dishes?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Of course! I'm not stupid!

0:00:46 > 0:00:48That's why I wrapped them in this, to protect them.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50The good tablecloth!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Right...that's it...

0:00:54 > 0:00:57no more pocket money until all this is paid for.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00But I was trying to save you some washing-up!

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Inventions don't work on the first go.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06It took Einstein loads of tries before he flew across the Atlantic.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11Mum, can you buy me an antique ring?

0:01:11 > 0:01:15No. Right...you clear out every single bit of that.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17But I need it for school.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19We have to bring in something interesting to talk about.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Last year, all I had was a rock shaped like a fried egg.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27So humiliating! So this year...

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Find a more interesting rock!- Grrr!

0:01:32 > 0:01:35It says in my book that earth is this giant ball whizzing through space.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Who's steering it?

0:01:38 > 0:01:39Well, er, no-one.

0:01:40 > 0:01:44So we could crash into another planet and all die in a huge fire?

0:01:44 > 0:01:48DOORBELL Each planet moves in a fixed orbit...

0:01:48 > 0:01:50He won't understand that!

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Say this plate is the sun and the cup is our world...

0:01:53 > 0:01:55They're broken! They crashed!

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Everybody, this is Mr Lyman. He wants a room for tonight.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01- He's an artist.- Oh?

0:02:01 > 0:02:04We'll put you in the Hawthorn, Mr Lyman, it's our best room.

0:02:06 > 0:02:10Ah, yeah... it's one of Charlie's experiments.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14Turns out crockery is breakable! Who knew?

0:02:18 > 0:02:19Key?

0:02:19 > 0:02:20Oh...

0:02:20 > 0:02:24I'm quite serious about art myself, actually, yeah.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Ceramics, you know. I do little animals.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Actually, if you've got a minute... - Not now, Kevin.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Charlie, would you help Mr Lyman with his things?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40He's got as nice car. I think he might be a bit well-off,

0:02:40 > 0:02:43so don't go bothering him with your animals.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Hannah, you could take these to school, if you like, to talk about.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Are you actually trying to ruin my life?

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Be careful.

0:03:00 > 0:03:05- What are they? Fields? - Shapes, colours...

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- feelings.- No-one's going to want to buy shapes!

0:03:08 > 0:03:10You've got to paint proper things.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14I just did a brilliant painting of a T-rex fighting a giraffe.

0:03:14 > 0:03:15I used to paint things...

0:03:16 > 0:03:20..but this collection... best work I've ever done.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Pah!

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Sold.

0:03:26 > 0:03:27Sold. Sold.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29He's quite established.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Ooh, yeah, no, yeah, great energy.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36Practically leaps off the canvas, doesn't it?

0:03:37 > 0:03:40I've been striving for that intensity.

0:03:41 > 0:03:42Newsflash!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44You've failed.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Your animals are lovely, Kevin.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50But it's more of a hobby, isn't it?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Unbelievable.

0:03:52 > 0:03:56I don't even know why I bother. Artists like Lyman, he's understand.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58That Lyman, he can't even paint.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00He can only do rectangles.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02You're such an idiot!

0:04:03 > 0:04:05He did that?

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Mm-hm. He's quite successful, actually.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09His pictures sell for about £2,000 each.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11Not that that matters. It's all about the journey.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14I wonder if he'd paint me like that.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17Now, that'd be something to bring to school.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19I don't want anyone bothering him.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21If he likes it here, he'll tell his friends.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23We could get lots of artists

0:04:23 > 0:04:26coming out to the coast for the beautiful quality of the light.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28We could get known for it.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30But why would people buy rectangles?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32They're easy! Anyone can do...

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Mr Lyman?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Hi, Hannah. Look what I've got to be talking about in school.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05It's a hatpin.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07It belonged to my great-great-grandmother.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10She used it to stab a highwayman who tried to rob her.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12- Amazing story, isn't it? - It's all right.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16What are you bringing? You still got that fried-egg rock?

0:05:16 > 0:05:18No, actually, there's a famous artist staying at our B&B,

0:05:18 > 0:05:20and he's painting a portrait of me.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21Oh?

0:05:21 > 0:05:25Said I've got a really interesting face, actually, inspiring.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27I think your thing's great too.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Really brilliant! A pin.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37HE HUMS

0:05:49 > 0:05:51- Oh!- All right?

0:05:51 > 0:05:52What are you doing?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Just checking for moths. Don't worry, you're all clear.

0:06:10 > 0:06:14I can't believe we're doing an art project!

0:06:14 > 0:06:14Yeah.

0:06:14 > 0:06:19Oh, I've brought some books on seabirds, herons and terns.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I thought we could try painting some of them.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23No. We're doing these.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28Rectangles. An artist at the B&B does them.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Sells them for a fortune.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Copy them?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33That's forgery!

0:06:33 > 0:06:36A clandestine art operation! Outstanding!

0:06:36 > 0:06:39- No way! I'm not doing it.- Fine. We don't need you.

0:06:40 > 0:06:41So...

0:06:42 > 0:06:44..purple.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- We have to add blue and...- Red!

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Just try a few things.- No!

0:06:50 > 0:06:52That's not purple, it's cerise,

0:06:52 > 0:06:56which you get my mixing aquamarine blue and a red. Easy!

0:06:57 > 0:07:00That violet's going to be more of a challenge.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09Just a girl...eating an apple.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12Who knows what I'm thinking?

0:07:12 > 0:07:13It's a mystery.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18OK.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28See? Top quality rectangles! People are mad for them.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31I told you, I don't sell kids' paintings ever!

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Now, please...

0:07:36 > 0:07:39No, no, we didn't paint these.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43My Uncle Charles did. He's in the Army overseas.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46He's brilliant at blowing things up.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Oh, er...

0:07:56 > 0:07:57Yeah...

0:07:57 > 0:07:59yeah, I see it now.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01The horrors of war.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03That one's called Tanks At Dawn.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06It's brutally honest.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09He has an...unflinching gaze.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Everyone says that.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13All right, I'll try them.

0:08:13 > 0:08:17I'll do a brochure, but I'll need a photograph of your uncle in uniform.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29Oi!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31What a stupid place for a picnic!

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Brilliant!

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Tampering with Army uniforms.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50I'm sure this is treason.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52They can still shoot you for that.

0:08:52 > 0:08:56Just e-mail it and use my special undercover spy address.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59johnsmith2003.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Nice!

0:09:04 > 0:09:08I'll just clear off any fingerprints...

0:09:17 > 0:09:20I-I mentioned my sculptures...

0:09:21 > 0:09:24- I'd love to know what you think. - Oh, there you are!- Hey, Helen!

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Would you like some coffee, Mr Lyman?

0:09:27 > 0:09:30You enjoy your walk? Lovely quality of light here, isn't there?

0:09:30 > 0:09:34- I hadn't noticed.- Oh, yeah, yeah, quite inspirational for artists,

0:09:34 > 0:09:36- I imagine.- Yeah, it's been a huge influence on me.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39- Anyway, if you need anything else, let me know.- We will.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45No! Helen! Helen!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Helen!- I told you not to bother him, didn't I?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49I just want to show him my animals.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Found this in the shed.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57If only it had a nice picture to go inside it.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Oh? You want me to paint you?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Really? That would be so brilliant!

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Well, I'm sorry, I've moved away from portraiture.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Even if you saw someone really inspiring?

0:10:14 > 0:10:15I hardly ever do!

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I know about orbits now.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26All of the planets go round the sun,

0:10:26 > 0:10:29not each on the same road, which is called an orbit.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33That's why two planets can't crash cos they're never on the same road.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37Except for asteroids, huge rocks flying through space,

0:10:37 > 0:10:39and they do hit planets.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42- But not earth?- Yeah! Wiped out dinosaurs,

0:10:42 > 0:10:45probably wipe us out too. Anyway, night!

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Can you hide these? I don't want your dad pestering Mr Lyman.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06You all right?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Well, it's Lyman, you see.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13- I asked if he'd paint me... - I told you not to bother him!

0:11:13 > 0:11:15He says I'm not inspiring.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18That means I'm just ordinary, doesn't it?

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Hannah...

0:11:23 > 0:11:25..look in the mirror.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28You are beautiful!

0:11:28 > 0:11:29You're a knock-out.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Thanks, Mum.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33It's your dad I'm worried about.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35He thinks Lyman's going to take one look at those

0:11:35 > 0:11:38and tell him he's a genius. Some chance!

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Dad, he's such a dreamer!

0:11:40 > 0:11:42He told me I could do well in my A-levels!

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Hey, look at this!

0:11:51 > 0:11:55Louie, what's wrong with you? Didn't you sleep?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Worried about the asteroids...

0:11:58 > 0:12:01There's a fellow here looks just like your dad.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Amazing! They're like twins.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05He's an artist, he's got an exhibition on.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- Captain Charles of the 4th Regiment. - Let me see!

0:12:11 > 0:12:14What are you talking about? He looks nothing like Dad!

0:12:14 > 0:12:16He's got freckles, different hair...

0:12:16 > 0:12:19You're right, Charlie. He's nothing like me.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22He's having an exhibition.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25He's allowed to share his art.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29He's got a family that supports him, they like to encourage him...

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Uncle Charles won't like this! He's a very private man.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41- He wants me to sell his paintings, doesn't he?- Yeah, but...

0:12:41 > 0:12:44Then I need to drum up a bit of interest. That's why I bought that.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49You can't put that up!

0:12:49 > 0:12:53I can! I paid £60 for that! I'm putting it on the wall for you.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02£300?

0:13:02 > 0:13:05It's all we can manage right now.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07And I wouldn't charge you for your stay.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09We'd just really love to have some of your work.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15I don't have time. I should get going.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Well, couldn't you just do something quick?

0:13:17 > 0:13:19I'm not looking for a masterpiece.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28All right, look...what if I do something and it's not signed?

0:13:29 > 0:13:30Fine.

0:13:31 > 0:13:35Oh, and could you not mention to Hannah about the money?

0:13:35 > 0:13:39I'd really like her to think that you find her, er, inspiring.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Whatever.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Thank you so much.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Hannah, could you clear up in here, please?

0:13:52 > 0:13:53OK!

0:14:02 > 0:14:04What?

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Well, seeing you now, I've painted worse.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09You'll paint me?

0:14:19 > 0:14:23- It's just an operational blip. - Have you been listening?

0:14:23 > 0:14:25It's a giant photo of his dad!

0:14:25 > 0:14:27Everyone'll recognise it!

0:14:27 > 0:14:29We'll be done for forgery and treason.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31We'll just need to get the photo back.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34That's no good. He'll just print another one.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36We need to stop the exhibition.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Yeah! All right.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Thank you.

0:14:40 > 0:14:44- Finally.- You're good at sprinting, aren't you?

0:14:44 > 0:14:45Me?

0:14:46 > 0:14:47Why?

0:14:53 > 0:14:54So you're...?

0:14:56 > 0:14:57I'm sorry, what are you doing?

0:14:57 > 0:15:01You know! That girl you painted, the one on the beach...

0:15:03 > 0:15:06But I'm not painting her, I'm painting you.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Come on, I've only got half an hour.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13You better get on with it! I'm not sure how long my hair will hold.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16All right.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28A skinny frappuccino, please.

0:15:29 > 0:15:30Really?

0:15:30 > 0:15:33I'm trying to stay healthy.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Hey! Hey! Come back here!

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Come here, you...!

0:15:50 > 0:15:51Drop it! Stop!

0:16:10 > 0:16:11All right, ladies?

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Helen, I've thought about this very carefully

0:16:28 > 0:16:29and I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Give me my animals back.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33- No.- OK.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Then, you leave me no option. I'm going to search for them.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42Mum, I saw on telly once about a war

0:16:42 > 0:16:44and people were hidden underground in a place for trains.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47Yeah, World War II, people hid in the London Underground.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50We should hide there so we'll be safe from asteroids.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52SCREAMING

0:16:52 > 0:16:53Hannah?

0:16:58 > 0:16:59Everything all right?

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Your daughter,

0:17:03 > 0:17:05I think she was expecting something a bit more conventional.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14That's just...

0:17:14 > 0:17:16so...

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- ..striking.- Yeah.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Yeah, so immediate.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24It's like a punch in the face.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28Yeah...I'm quite chuffed with it, actually.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31And I've signed it. You got yourself a bit of a bargain there.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36It's scary.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39No, Louie, no, this is art.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Anyway, I'd better get on.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43It is a long drive to London.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48The teeth... follow you round the room.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55He went that way!

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Please, Mum, take it down!

0:18:02 > 0:18:06You just don't get it. Trust me, in a few years, you'll treasure it.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08I hate it! I want to smash it.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Hannah, that picture is very valuable.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12- You are not to touch it.- Grr!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33And Bingo was his name!

0:18:40 > 0:18:43We'll lie low for a couple of days, then we'll sell them door to door.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Are you out of your mind?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48Have you learnt nothing from this?

0:18:48 > 0:18:50If something doesn't work the first time,

0:18:50 > 0:18:53- it'll definitely work the second! - Roger that!

0:19:04 > 0:19:06You wouldn't be that stupid, would you?

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Gotcha!

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Er...have those pottery animals if you'd like a quick look.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23I probably should finish packing.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25It'll just take a minute.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Just to have a second opinion from a fellow artiste.

0:19:28 > 0:19:29So...

0:19:29 > 0:19:34and I want you to be brutally honest.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Er...the...

0:19:45 > 0:19:47..kangaroo looks interesting.

0:19:48 > 0:19:49The, er...

0:19:49 > 0:19:51You mean the shepherd?

0:19:53 > 0:19:54Oh? Oh, right...

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Oh, I see...

0:19:56 > 0:19:59- so is that the sheep? - No, that's the Border collie.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00When did you ever see a sheep wearing a collar?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03I've got to be honest. I don't think they're very good.

0:20:03 > 0:20:04You can't even tell what they are.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Well, I know I said be brutally honest...

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- I didn't expect you to... - It's just my opinion.- Yeah.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- As long as you enjoy it.- Yeah. - That's the main thing.- Yeah.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Calls himself an artist!

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Hasn't got a clue.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24That does look like a kangaroo. I'll put that...

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Lyman's going to London. We'll go with him.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33We'll be safe.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36One day we'll come back, see if Mum's alive.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Dad, Mum won't take that horrible picture down!

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Hannah, you just don't appreciate...

0:20:48 > 0:20:50You're right!

0:20:50 > 0:20:53- It is horrible, isn't it? - Let's burn it!

0:20:53 > 0:20:57Yes! No, no...it's art. We're not barbarians.

0:20:57 > 0:21:02- Besides if we did that, Lyman would never know, would be?- Huh?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06We'll hide this in the boot of his car.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08And when he gets back to London he'll find it

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- and he'll know what it's like to be rejected and dismissed...- Dad!

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Hurry up.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16What are you doing?

0:21:16 > 0:21:17Ah... Hey!

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Just helping Mr Lyman pack, you know.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Wow!

0:21:32 > 0:21:34Can I have some? I'm starving.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37No! It's a surprise for Mr Lyman.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40The kind of nice little touch that'll make him want to come back,

0:21:40 > 0:21:42him and his artist friends.

0:21:42 > 0:21:43Er...

0:21:43 > 0:21:46just wanted to settle up...

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Oh, yes.

0:21:49 > 0:21:50Thank you so much.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53I've made you a little snack for the road.

0:21:53 > 0:21:58Nothing fancy, just some smoked venison, artisan cheese, figs...

0:21:58 > 0:22:01Thanks, but I'd better get a move on.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03I've still got a few things to pack.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Don't worry, I'll eat it.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Which one's the venison? Is that the venison...

0:22:10 > 0:22:12like Robin Hood...

0:22:13 > 0:22:15I'm just going to pop out for a minute,

0:22:15 > 0:22:17work up an appetite.

0:22:23 > 0:22:24Where are the paintings? I know you took them.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26I didn't, but I bet I know who did.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Generals high up in the Army.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33- What?- They want to stop my uncle from speaking out about...

0:22:33 > 0:22:35the horrors of war and all that.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37I want to speak to your parents.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40- All right! I'll get the paintings. They're not here...- There they are!

0:22:45 > 0:22:46I wish

0:22:46 > 0:22:51I had never got mixed up with you.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Wait! You can't go.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59It's Mum...

0:23:00 > 0:23:02..she's got a tropical disease.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04I'm sorry to hear that.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07We was on holiday in Africa

0:23:07 > 0:23:12and she got bitten by this thing like a mongoose, except bigger.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15It had germs in its teeth and now she's got a fatal illness.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17- I'm sure she'll be fine.- fatal!

0:23:17 > 0:23:19She's only got a couple of months left

0:23:19 > 0:23:22and she's sad because you won't eat her lovely food.

0:23:25 > 0:23:26I feel awful.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Mum!

0:23:29 > 0:23:31What?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Er...actually, I do have a bit of time,

0:23:37 > 0:23:39and the food looks so delicious...

0:23:48 > 0:23:49Yes!

0:23:50 > 0:23:54So, imagine we've been caught by the police

0:23:54 > 0:23:56and now they're interrogating us.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00- I don't like this game. - All right, son,

0:24:00 > 0:24:03whose idea was it to copy those paintings?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05His name's Charlie, he lives at Brookville B&B.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08What? I haven't even started torturing you yet!

0:24:08 > 0:24:11I know I'll crack! What's the point in suffering?

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Quick, we need to get the paintings down to the B&B.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Hopefully we'll see you again.

0:24:30 > 0:24:31I hope so.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34I really do.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Bye now.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Thanks for all the encouragement.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Will he ever leave?

0:25:01 > 0:25:02Louie!

0:25:05 > 0:25:09I want to go to London. I don't want to be squashed by the asteroid!

0:25:09 > 0:25:10I'm so sorry, sorry.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12It's fine. It's fine.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17What?

0:25:23 > 0:25:25These aren't my paintings.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28What? I don't understand. What?

0:25:28 > 0:25:31I paint in oils, these are watercolours.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33Look at the amateur brushwork!

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Yeah, no...it's not your best point, is it? I did think that earlier.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38He's bonkers! What's he saying?

0:25:38 > 0:25:42Someone swapped all his paintings for exact copies!

0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Aliens, was it?- They're not even on canvas! They're on paper, look!

0:25:45 > 0:25:48This one's on the back of a cereal box!

0:25:48 > 0:25:51- What's he on about?- Maybe it's nerves about your exhibition.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54- Look, I don't want to argue with someone who's really ill...- Ill?

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Just a little fib,

0:25:56 > 0:25:59because you were sad about him not eating your lovely food.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Charlie! How many times...?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04What kind of people are you?

0:26:04 > 0:26:07The kind that don't go around crushing other people's dreams.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10Are you still going on about your rubbish animals?

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Listen, mate, you don't to worry about them, but about your kids,

0:26:13 > 0:26:15- cos they're out of control! - You've got a nerve, haven't you?

0:26:15 > 0:26:18- You don't know anything about our kids.- I think you'd better leave.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Yeah, and you're rubbish! Who'd want to copy that?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23That's what I said! He's bonkers!

0:26:23 > 0:26:26You're right, Charlie! He is bonkers! He's the most bonkers...

0:26:36 > 0:26:38You've done something, haven't you? What have you done?

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Nothing! I was helping Ben with an art project

0:26:41 > 0:26:42and it went a little bit wrong.

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Captain!

0:26:59 > 0:27:00I didn't realise you were in the country.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02What...what's happening?

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Sold the lot, £100 a pop.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Except the portrait, only got 20.

0:27:08 > 0:27:12That's 18 months' work. What have you done?

0:27:12 > 0:27:15I'm not bringing the pin to school.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17I've got something way better!

0:27:21 > 0:27:23What do you think?

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Do you want any more of them rectangles?

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Got another batch in the car.

0:27:39 > 0:27:43How can this be right? Clean all the guest rooms for a week?

0:27:43 > 0:27:46And for what? For trying to learn about art!

0:27:46 > 0:27:48What kind of lesson's that for a child?

0:27:48 > 0:27:50It's a travesty of justice.

0:27:55 > 0:27:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd