0:00:30 > 0:00:32- Cover me.- Fire!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I just don't think you should have lied to them.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37I didn't lie, I just said we'd hosted wakes before.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38That's a lie.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Well, yes, but people need to feel they're in experienced hands
0:00:41 > 0:00:43in order to trust you on such an important day.
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Zombie, four o'clock!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Just keep it down, you lot. Remember what I said about the wake.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49What's a wake?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51A wake's a sort of a party you have after a funeral.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Jelly and ice cream!
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Charlie, you don't have jelly and ice cream when somebody's died.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Oh, right. Just balloons, then?
0:00:58 > 0:01:00No, of course you don't have...
0:01:03 > 0:01:04What?
0:01:04 > 0:01:07They're black. Really original, they're going to love it.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Oh, its hand just came off.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Reload, it's still alive!
0:01:13 > 0:01:14That's totally unrealistic.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Its nerve endings would've just been ripped off.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18What you doing? That was educational!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22Isn't there something you'd like to see at the cinema?
0:01:22 > 0:01:26Well, there's a cracking documentary about climate change at...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28BOTH: Death Chase 2!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I'll give you the money for the cinema tickets
0:01:30 > 0:01:32if you make yourselves scarce for the morning.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Woooooo!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Death Chase 2! Yes!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Death Chase 2! - Will you keep the noise down?!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Ben, will you remind them that someone's dead?
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Sorry about the noise. They're off to watch Death Cha...
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- a film. I'm not sure what it's about.- Yeah.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Yeah, you can expect a much more sombre experience from now on.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Do you like the balloons? The black balloons?
0:02:01 > 0:02:04They are sort of fun, but sad.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07You can expect a whole different level of wake experience
0:02:07 > 0:02:09here at Brookville.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13And yes, I will be getting changed, obviously.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Brad. Brad! - SHE SOBS LOUDLY
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Teenagers, eh? Everything's a tragedy.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Although, some things are a tragedy.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Like what's happened to your dear, dear...dear...
0:02:27 > 0:02:29HANNAH YELLS
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I'm going to go and see what's the matter over there.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Everything all right?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I've been dumped, haven't I?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Who by?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Brad. My boyfriend?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Well, I haven't any more. I've got an ex boyfriend!
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Well, yeah, but that's still good though, yeah?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I'd just like to say how happy I am
0:02:58 > 0:03:00that you've chosen us to host your wake.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Er, I mean, not happy that you've obviously... Not...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07We're very sorry for your loss.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11It's OK, honey.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Auntie Rita was a very old lady.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17I never even got to meet her.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19We live 4,000 miles away, sweetie.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Troy struck up a relationship with her on the internet.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25It was nice for the two of them.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Oh, so you're not expecting many people back after the funeral then?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Just a few friends of hers, I think.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- HANNAH:- Brad! Oh, Brad!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Well, you know, if there's anything we can do...?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41We do have a wreath at the florists.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Oh, yes, we'll get that for you. No problem.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45All part of the service.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49HE MOUTHS
0:03:50 > 0:03:52He was so kind.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54He was buying me ice creams.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Aw.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58And raspberry sauce,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00flakes and sprinkles.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Right.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Was he an ice cream man?
0:04:05 > 0:04:08He works at the stand on the front.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Oh, I know him.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11He's the one with the flat top and the stupid...
0:04:11 > 0:04:14He's really lush, OK?! Caring.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16He went to visit his nan every day.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18See, that's very dedicated.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22And boring. I told him to forget about her.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24But he dumped me.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27He thinks I'm shallow and insensitive.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh. I'm sure that's not true.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Yeah, it is. He says it right here.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Well, you know, dumping someone by text, that's pretty insensitive.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Don't have a go at Brad!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Careful of Maude!
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Who's Maude?
0:04:48 > 0:04:49The carrier bag, fine.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52What is wrong with this family?!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Here's the money for the cinema...
0:05:00 > 0:05:04if you pick up a wreath from the florists for Mr and Mrs Milne.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06What? You never said we had to work for it. We're children.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09That's the deal. Take it or leave it.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10Maybe we should leave it.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Death Chase 1 was really violent.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15We'll take it.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17The film starts in half an hour. Let's ship out, people.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Go, go, go!
0:05:19 > 0:05:23What's that you say, Maude? You've found five potatoes?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25No. These are stones.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Three stones.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33One, two, three.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Three stones, NOT five potatoes.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Maude?
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Maude?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44What do you think? Sombre enough?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46My deepest condolences.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Sorry. Didn't know you were there.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Are you feeling any better now?
0:05:53 > 0:05:56No. How can he call me shallow and insensitive?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I was talking to Troy.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00And I'M the insensitive one?!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Oh, Louie, what on earth's the matter?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Maude. She blew up a tree.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Oh.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Well, it's only a bag. I'm sure you'll find some other...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13thing to get just as attached to.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I won't! I'll never find anything to replace Maude.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Never.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20OK. Well, go and ask your dad to get the ladders out.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Can you stop sniffling? It's really getting on my...
0:06:27 > 0:06:30There, there. Can you try and bottle it up, yeah?
0:06:41 > 0:06:45This is rubbish. Why do they have to write in massive flowers?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Why can't they just send a card?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49We should move it as a unit. I'll take point.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52No, if we take it back now, then we'll miss the adverts.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53But we have to take it.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Don't they need it for the funeral?
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Yeah, but that will be ages away.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58We'll take it back AFTER the film.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Three for Death Chase 2, please.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04You're not coming in with that.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- Why not?- It'll obstruct the aisle.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08But it's made of flowers. It'll brighten the place up.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09You're not bringing it in.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Look, I didn't want to tell you this, but his auntie died last week.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19I mean, look at him, he's traumatised.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20He's not going to let that go.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22It's all he's got.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25He can bring it in IF he buys a seat for it.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27That's the best I can do.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Wait here a sec.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42OK, here's the plan. Me and Alison will go inside and buy our tickets.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Ben, you go to the side door with the wreath.- Why me?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Cos I told him you've gone mad and won't let go of it.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Yeah, Ben, keep up.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Then we'll open the side door, you pass through the wreath,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- come back here and buy your ticket. - Outstanding!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58I thought I went mad and wouldn't let go of it?
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Won't he notice when I haven't got it?
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Just say you've been cured or something. Do a little happy dance.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Am I supposed to come up with everything? Now, go on, go.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Louie, Louie, I'm sorry, I tried my best.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Oh.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Hiya.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Oh, there was a carrier bag in a tree.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23But it blew away and I fell off the ladder.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Nothing to see here.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I'll be smarter than this for the wake.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I've got another suit. Somewhere.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34OK.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Ah, Achilles...
0:08:39 > 0:08:41But Brad was the one.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45I know it feels like that now, but honestly, things change.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47No-one ever ends up with their first choice.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Or even their second.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55You know, if you just try going out with someone else,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58you might find that, in time, you...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I can make Brad jealous! I could use Troy.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Thanks, Mum, that's a brilliant idea.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04No, no, no. I wasn't suggesting that you...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Troy?
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Seriously, I was your third choice?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Fourth?!
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- Ben, push it through. Push it through!- Steady.- Easy.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- Careful. - Come on! Step it up, soldier!
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Come on, Ben, hurry up! Ben!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- Be careful!- Hurry up!
0:09:42 > 0:09:44You can't ban us when it was your fault
0:09:44 > 0:09:48we had to sneak it in in the first place!
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Come on!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Thanks for taking me out, Hannah.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Girls don't pay me much attention at home.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Can't think why that is(!)
0:10:05 > 0:10:06But don't you like me?
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Of course I do. We're going for a walk, aren't we?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Look, I'll take you to the front and buy you an ice cream.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Hey, is that about a missing bag?
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Ignore that.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29How's it coming?
0:10:29 > 0:10:31I think I've fixed it.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Ant?!
0:10:33 > 0:10:35She's not an ant, Ben, she's a human. Have some respect.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Do you think if we tell the truth, they'll forgive us?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44No! We never crack, not even under torture.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Well, what are we going to do, then?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48We will just have to get another wreath.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Where are we going to get another wreath?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Just think. Where do they have loads of wreaths, just lying about?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56The graveyard! There's tonnes.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- We could have one of those. - Outstanding.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00That's stealing!
0:11:00 > 0:11:02No, Ben, it's not stealing.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05You can't steal off dead people.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Sorry, you're right. It's not stealing...
0:11:07 > 0:11:09it's grave robbing!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11It's recycling. Just think, we're saving the planet.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Yeah, Ben, do you hate the planet or something?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15No.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Great. So now all we need to do
0:11:16 > 0:11:19is find another funeral with a dead aunt.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27That's it, Troy. You have a good cry.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Let it all out.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32No, it's OK. You were right, this really is helping.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36You want to lean on my shoulder, sob on it, like before?
0:11:36 > 0:11:37I'm really sensitive!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40No. The sea air's really helping me get things in perspective.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44No, it isn't! Come on, Troy.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Let...me...
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Come here, you!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Hannah! What are you doing?!
0:11:53 > 0:11:56I thought I was helping you. I thought you had feelings.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59But it turns out you never cared about your auntie at all.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02How could you say that?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04A bit of a walk, couple of lungfuls of sea air
0:12:04 > 0:12:06and you've forgotten all about her.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08What kind of monster are you?
0:12:10 > 0:12:11I must be a terrible person!
0:12:14 > 0:12:16There, there, Troy.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Can I put a poster on your window, please?
0:12:20 > 0:12:21What's it for?
0:12:21 > 0:12:24It's for Maude. She's gone missing.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Aw, I lost a cat last year.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28She's not a cat.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Hey, Brad. Can I have a 99?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Sure. Is he all right?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45What, Troy? No.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47He's got a funeral this afternoon.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49But I'm supporting him through it.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50You?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Yeah, it's all part of my...
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Well, I don't really like to talk about it.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Talk about what?- Nothing.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Come on, what do you mean?
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Just a bit of voluntary work, you know?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Helping people with problems.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I didn't know you did that sort of stuff.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10No, well, I like to keep it quiet.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I don't want everyone saying how great I am all the time.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15It's embarrassing.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Well, I suppose if more people knew,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I wouldn't get called shallow and insensitive.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Anyway, thanks for this.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24See you around.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Hannah.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Yeah?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31I'm going to see my nan later.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- She likes a bit of company. Maybe you could...- Come with you?
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Yeah, I'd love to. See you tonight, then.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I can't see any decent ones.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Are you sure there was a dead aunt at this funeral?
0:13:56 > 0:14:01The advert says, "Wife, mother and beloved aunt".
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Target acquired.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Aw, it's even bigger than the other one! Wait here.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20(Ben!)
0:14:22 > 0:14:24(Charlie! Charlie!)
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Oi!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I'm so sorry, I don't know where he could have got to.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11He's normally so reliable.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Yeah, no, it's sort of weird.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16He's never forgot a wreath before, has he?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17- Never.- Never.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Yeah, sorry about the suit.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I sort of destroyed most of mine when I left the bank.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43Maybe you could use this as a makeshift wreath until he turns up.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Maybe?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I'm sure he'll be back any minute now.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Yeah.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57And now I'd like to ask for a moment's silence
0:15:57 > 0:16:01to reflect on the remarkable life of Claire Thompson.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15And now it's time for the eulogy,
0:16:15 > 0:16:19delivered by a young man very close to Claire's heart.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Erm...
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Erm...
0:16:36 > 0:16:37- BEN:- Are you sure he's even in here?
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- ALISON:- They are probably extracting intelligence from him right now.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45I don't think vicars are allowed to extract intelligence from children.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47It might not be a vicar, Ben.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51(It could be agnostics. They can do whatever they want.)
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Erm... So this is a funeral...
0:16:57 > 0:16:59..for...
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Claire.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06She was a lady...
0:17:09 > 0:17:11..with brown hair...
0:17:13 > 0:17:16..and a family, like you...
0:17:17 > 0:17:19..and you
0:17:19 > 0:17:20and you.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24OK, not you. Because I was there when she was on her deathbed.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27"Henry," she said, "tell them, all of them,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29"tell them I loved them all, even that one
0:17:29 > 0:17:31"that's not part of my family."
0:17:31 > 0:17:33She said, "I don't mind I'm going to die.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36"I'm really not that bothered," she said.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39"The most important thing is that when I'm gone,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41"you have my biggest wreath."
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Oi!
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Run! Run!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Where?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Get in here! Quick! Go!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Shut the door! Come on!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Where to, then?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Brookville B&B, please.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12You got it. OK.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Here are her ashes. Have you got anything planned for them?
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Are we leaving already?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31That's it. We're going to have to go, with or without the wreath.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- BUZZ - There he is now.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39She's lost for ever. Blown away on the wind...
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Just here on the right. Great.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Let's get out of here.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- Thanks, driver.- Thanks.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07There, that was easy.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Except, we've got a tail.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Come on, let's go.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15I am sure they are on the way.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17There is a 20-mile speed limit on this road so sometimes...
0:19:17 > 0:19:20Look, here they are! I told you they wouldn't be long.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Here's your wreath. Enjoy the funeral!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I thought the funeral wasn't till one?
0:19:27 > 0:19:31So did I. I thought the funeral was at one?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33No, noon. You missed it.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38Troy?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Go to the back door.
0:19:48 > 0:19:49It's locked!
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Where do you think you're going?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53For a breath of air.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55No chance. Get in there and hand these out.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59And we'll have words later about that wreath.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00You, too.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08What are we going to do?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11They're going to find out that they're at the wrong wake, then
0:20:11 > 0:20:14they'll know you took the wreath, then we'll all be arrested for...
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I don't know. What's this crime called?
0:20:16 > 0:20:17We've invented a new crime!
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Are you OK?
0:20:38 > 0:20:39I don't know.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I keep trying to tell myself she had an amazing life, but...
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Yeah, she really did. What with the sailing
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- and the water-skiing... - Water-skiing?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Yeah, she was British Champion.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52And that year she worked as a nurse in Africa.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Took her life in her hands a few times, eh?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56She had some stories...
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Did she?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01That's why she wrote the novel, of course.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02I never knew her at all!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07HE SOBS
0:21:08 > 0:21:10MUSIC PLAYS
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I told you to turn that off!
0:21:13 > 0:21:17What? Isn't anybody allowed to be happy around here any more?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19What is wrong with you?
0:21:19 > 0:21:21I'll never see Maude again.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32It's OK. Panic over.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34What about that?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I'm Francesca from the Canadian side. How did you know Aunt...?
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Sorry! Friendly fire. Let's get you cleaned up.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Right, I've got to get rid of this.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Stop her from talking to anyone else.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Thank you all for coming.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02This means a lot, she would have been so pleased.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06We specialise in wakes here at Brookville,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09so if you ever need to organise a funeral, we...
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Charlie, would you hand these out for me?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Right. But, I was just...- Now.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Sorry, is that your son?
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Oh, yes. Sorry, what's he done now?
0:22:22 > 0:22:26I just wanted to say, his words really moved me today.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27You must be very proud.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh. Well, yes, yes, we are. Thank you.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Hey, did you hear that?
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Charlie's been offering words of comfort to the guests.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Isn't that nice? Are you all right?
0:22:39 > 0:22:41I think I have got chive in my eye.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Go and get changed.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Hi. I'm Francesca...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51No! You don't want to talk to him!
0:22:52 > 0:22:53You haven't even...
0:23:00 > 0:23:03# Oh, Danny boy
0:23:03 > 0:23:06# The pipes, the pipes are calling
0:23:08 > 0:23:14# From glen to glen and down the mountainside... #
0:23:14 > 0:23:18It's very sad. She was an old bag, but I loved her.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21# All the leaves are falling
0:23:21 > 0:23:26# 'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide
0:23:28 > 0:23:30# But come ye back. #
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Erm...
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Erm.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42# A lovely day... #
0:23:42 > 0:23:43This isn't going to last long.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46We need another plan to stop them talking.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Something clever, so they get the blame for everything and not us.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53How are we going to do that...?
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Everything OK?- Yes, thanks. - Great. Good do, isn't it?
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Just hope none of those funeral crashers turn up today.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Funeral crashers...?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Yeah, I heard there's some in town. A Canadian couple, they say.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Apparently they just turn up to people's funerals and...
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Eat all the food, pretend the dead person was their auntie.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- Sometimes they can work... - Three funerals in a day,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17exploiting grieving relatives just to get free food from a buffet.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21It's disgusting. Some Canadian couple, apparently...
0:24:21 > 0:24:22# I've got all my love to give
0:24:22 > 0:24:24# I will survive!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26# I will survive! #
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Yes, very good, thank you.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31# Ah... #
0:24:31 > 0:24:33No! No more. That was great.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Excuse me. Would you mind telling me who you are, exactly?
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Sure, I'm Francesca. From the Canadian side of...
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Canadian, eh? And I suppose you're here to mourn your aunt?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Yes...- Who do you know here?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Well, no-one. I kind of thought one or two people might...
0:24:50 > 0:24:52That's enough. Come on. Put these down.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55What?! What are you doing? Why are you doing that?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57- We know about your sort. - Our sort?! How dare you!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- Get off of my vol-au-vents! - What's going on...?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01This man is trying to steal my food!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03I'm stealing food? That's rich. They're the Canadians.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- Call the police! - The police?
0:25:05 > 0:25:08You people disgust me.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I've just buried my mother.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13What garbage. She didn't have a son.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14You're right, you're right.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- She had three.- This is nonsense. Graham, tell them...
0:25:17 > 0:25:19It's true, Mum, it's all true.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22She had a secret life she never told us about.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24A whole second family!
0:25:24 > 0:25:27I think you should leave.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31I most certainly will not. This is OUR wake, YOU should leave.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Please get this man to leave this house.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation...
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Maude was lovely, but you're beautiful.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51I'm going to call you Madge.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Oh, Madge, you're full of dirt.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Hannah, it's a disaster.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Get off, you'll ruin my top!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Just stop your blubbing.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Hannah? I thought you were helping him.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12I am, it's just... It's his fault!
0:26:12 > 0:26:15He's really annoying, he won't stop crying! Brad!
0:26:15 > 0:26:19I want to visit your nan with you, I don't care how boring she is! Brad!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Oh, Troy.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25You're so shallow and insensitive!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30I am not insensitive, I am misunderstood.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36You've ruined our day. I hope you're happy!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39What the...? No!
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Hey, no! No!
0:26:43 > 0:26:44Madge!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49That's right, off you go.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52You'd pay for your own mother's wake if you loved her so much!
0:26:52 > 0:26:54I can't leave her in the bin.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Well, that was strange.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Well...grief can do funny things to people.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01That must be what it is. I mean, there's no other explanation.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03We're proud of you, though, Charlie.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05We heard all the comfort you gave with your words.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08What can I say? I like to spread a little happiness in the world.
0:27:12 > 0:27:13Who's this, then?
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Francesca? We were expecting to see you at the funeral.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29You!
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Charlie...? - It's OK. I can explain...
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Charlie?!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44How can this be right?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Weeding the crematorium flower beds for a week, and for what?
0:27:47 > 0:27:50For trying to get someone a nice big wreath for the funeral.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52What kind of lesson is that for a child?
0:27:52 > 0:27:53It's a travesty of justice!