Statues

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0:00:32 > 0:00:34Here we are.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Strong and sweet.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38So is the coffee.

0:00:41 > 0:00:42And I've...

0:00:42 > 0:00:45I've got some... Digestive biscuits.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48- May I have a splash more milk? - Two seconds.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52What? I'm in there serving guests.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54I bumped into Cynthia Bryce in the supermarket.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56She said the Terminator is in town. Get off!

0:00:56 > 0:00:59- The future robot thing? - The hotel inspector.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02That's fine. We've been inspected loads of times.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Not by the Terminator. You know why they call him that, don't you?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Because.... - Don't say because he's a robot.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08I wasn't going to.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Because he has personally closed down over 30 B&Bs.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12One speck of dust and it's over.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14If we get closed down, how are you going to pay for my dance lessons?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16We can do this. We can all work as a team.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Get this place cleaned up.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22Yeah. I would, but I've got to go out.

0:01:22 > 0:01:25And this whole team thing, not really for me.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Guest lounge, dirty cups, now.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32What are these?

0:01:46 > 0:01:48Negative on hostiles.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52Right, so we can add the cinema to the places we can never go again.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55It'll be all right.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57I mean, what did we do that was so bad?

0:01:57 > 0:02:01We, meaning you, started firing foam balls at people during the film.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03It was the big battle scene.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05I was just trying to 3-D things up a little.

0:02:05 > 0:02:06Oh, no, Charlie!

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Wow!

0:02:11 > 0:02:13He's amazing.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Look how still he is.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17That's nothing.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21I was hid in my airing cupboard for eight hours just to ambush my dad.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Let's see what you've got.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Uh-huh.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Thanks, Bev. I owe you. Bye.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36- You know Beverley from Glenbrook? - Yes.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38She caught some fella last week sniffing her pillow cases.

0:02:38 > 0:02:39And...

0:02:39 > 0:02:42The Terminator is definitely in town. Get the book.

0:02:46 > 0:02:47All right.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49All right, what are we looking for?

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Someone who's booked in who looks suspicious.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53OK.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Mr McDonald. - No, no, no. He's been here before.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- He's the one with the little humpback, isn't he?- Oh, yeah, yeah.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Er... There.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Brian Smith, there. Definitely a fake name.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Arriving tomorrow, staying for one night. That's him. Right.

0:03:06 > 0:03:07We've got 24 hours to get this place ready.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09I'm all over it.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Do you want a quick cup of tea?

0:03:14 > 0:03:16No, me neither. No, let's just crack on.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Yeah, yeah. We haven't got time. Haven't got time for tea.

0:03:23 > 0:03:24KNOCK AT DOOR

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- What?- Do you know that biology book we're sharing?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31- The one you keep forgetting to bring to school?- Sort of.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34I thought I'd save you the bother of forgetting it again on Monday.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Fine, it's in my room.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Hannah, are you still doing that door?

0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Look at these fingerprints! - I've got to use my hands, don't I?

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Do you want me to clean with the cloth with my mouth?

0:03:45 > 0:03:46Just do it again.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Is your mum all right? She seems a bit uptight.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55Yeah, she's not coping well at the minute with her nerves.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- We're all pitching in.- Oh, no!

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Not much good at this stuff.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01- I'm useless at cleaning. - Here. Let me.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07That's brilliant.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Could you do a little bit upstairs?

0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh, well, I suppose I could help for a few...

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Thanks, Carol. That's so nice.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Where are you going?

0:04:17 > 0:04:20I'm just going to pop up into town for a bit. For supplies.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28If this was the jungle, we'd have leeches stuck all over us.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31Do you think you could take that? I could.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34Good work, soldier.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38- SHE SHOUTS - Carry on!

0:04:41 > 0:04:43He's in a Zen-like state.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46He's probably studied for years.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Bet I can make him move.

0:04:54 > 0:04:55ALL SCREAM

0:05:02 > 0:05:04I don't know why he got so mad.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Now he knows foam balls are his weakness.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09I bet someone took his tin of money while he was chasing us.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12- 30p or something. Big deal. - Negative on that.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15I'm training myself to observe little details,

0:05:15 > 0:05:16so I counted his money.

0:05:16 > 0:05:17£20, £30?

0:05:17 > 0:05:2030 quid for standing about?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22It's not as easy as it looks.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Yes, it is.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29See?

0:05:30 > 0:05:34Let's do it. We can go to the cinema, see the rest of the film.

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Outstanding.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37You mean doing this in public?

0:05:37 > 0:05:39But we're not licensed!

0:05:50 > 0:05:51HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Ah!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54- John.- Kevin.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57I just thought I'd pop across, take a look.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00A bit tacky, these, don't just think?

0:06:00 > 0:06:02I just ordered myself some proper statuary.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04A big piece.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05- Imposing.- Right.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Well, I can't unaccountably squat here all day chatting. Got to...

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Not thinking of using that compost on this soil, are you?

0:06:13 > 0:06:15Play havoc with your alkaline levels.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Yeah. No, yeah, yes. Yeah, I know that.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I was going to add the alkaline later.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23I do have a green finger.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25You want to get that checked, then.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Carol.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Hello, Mrs Enright. How are you? - What are you doing?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Hannah said you needed a bit of help around the place.

0:06:37 > 0:06:38Did she now? Hannah!

0:06:38 > 0:06:41- She isn't here, she's gone to town. - And left you to do all her cleaning?

0:06:41 > 0:06:44It's no trouble. The last thing you want to do is

0:06:44 > 0:06:46to get worked up about silly things like this.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Almost finished anyway. - What, all of it?

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Just got to tackle the grouting in the downstairs toilet.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Looks a bit tired.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Oh, Carol! Thank you so much!

0:06:55 > 0:06:57It doesn't seem right.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58I like cleaning.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00It's very relaxing.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03And it's good to relax, isn't it, Mrs Enright?

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Er... Yeah, yeah, it is, yeah.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11Now, how about I put the kettle on and you put your feet up for a bit?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, well, I do feel a bit tired.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Are you sure you don't mind? - It's fine, Ms Enright.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Everything is fine.- Aw!

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Beep-boop-beep!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35How much have we made so far?

0:07:37 > 0:07:3845p.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41What? That's impossible, I've been on it for ages.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43Tourists at 12 o'clock.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Hold it, hold it.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Beep-boop-boop!

0:07:48 > 0:07:52A smile? What good's a smile? I can't eat a smile, can I?

0:07:56 > 0:07:58I'm fed up with this. Let's go and see how Ben's doing.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Nice one, Ben.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11- I'll get some chips, shall I?- As is.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Ben!

0:08:14 > 0:08:15Sorry, I was in the zone.

0:08:15 > 0:08:17It's brilliant just not being me for a bit.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Shall I get you some chips or not? - He is fine.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Rendezvous in a few minutes.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- I know you're angry. - That's one word for it.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44This T-shirt was the last one in the shop.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45I had no choice.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Lovely.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53And if you think about it, Carol did a way better job than me.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57So really you should be thanking me for not cleaning.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Don't worry. You don't have to do anything around here anymore.

0:09:00 > 0:09:01Really?

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Carol has agreed to help out part-time

0:09:04 > 0:09:07and she's going to do your Saturday shift as well.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10But that's my job. How will I get money?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12You won't.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14You can't just get rid of me.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16All I did was go out and buy a T-shirt.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18It's not just that, though, is it?

0:09:18 > 0:09:20You've not been pulling your weight for a while.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22So that's it? You're replacing me?

0:09:24 > 0:09:25Carol is in and I'm out.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, this is so unfair!

0:09:33 > 0:09:34You all right, Louie?

0:09:47 > 0:09:52You have to be very good, Simon. They're replacing Hannah with Carol.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54If it can happen to her, it can happen to me.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58Hey, Ben.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59Chips.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Chips.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03I'm starving.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Intense concentration and muscle control really takes it out of you.

0:10:09 > 0:10:10How much did we make, then?

0:10:10 > 0:10:13£4.30 until Charlie got hungry.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15You've eaten all the profits?

0:10:15 > 0:10:18We had to do something while you were here enjoying yourself.

0:10:18 > 0:10:19You'll just have to make more tomorrow.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23I'm supposed to be getting the shopping in for my gran.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Do you want to see the film or not?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Fine.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29She's probably got a few tins left.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Ah! What do you think?

0:10:40 > 0:10:41- Is that a...?- Gorilla.

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Right.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- A bit odd, isn't it?- Unique.

0:10:47 > 0:10:48A bit like me in a way.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51An imposing presence in an urban jungle.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Yeah.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55Yeah, it's all right, I suppose, if you like big monkeys.

0:10:55 > 0:10:56I do.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58I have imagination.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Not the type to settle for a couple of gnomes.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10A statue. That sounds expensive.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Or is it a good investment to show the inspector

0:11:12 > 0:11:14that we are a quality establishment?

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Hello, yes, we're looking for a garden statue.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21We'd like a human figure, something classy.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Yeah, I think we'd like a male about...

0:11:25 > 0:11:26HE WHISPERS How tall?

0:11:27 > 0:11:284 foot.

0:11:28 > 0:11:29Might be nice to go taller.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Yeah, somewhere between 4 and 5 foot.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Have you got any of those Greeky Roman ones?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38I can be Greeky Roman.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40What about that one? Or is that a bit bulky?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Well, it's not like we're going to be feeding him.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I don't need a lot for food.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47I'm very cheap to keep.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Really.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51OK, we'll take the young Roman shepherd boy, please,

0:11:51 > 0:11:54and we'll need that delivered first thing tomorrow morning.

0:11:54 > 0:11:55OK, bye-bye.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Sorted.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00A Roman shepherd boy, that's really going to impress the inspector.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03- Can we have some sheep?- No.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05No, no.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's called knocking, Hannah. Let's try that.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Emma and me are supposed to be going skating,

0:12:18 > 0:12:21which is why I bought the T-shirt. But now I have no money.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23OK.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Thanks for letting us know.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I want my job back.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29Too late.

0:12:30 > 0:12:31This isn't over.

0:12:32 > 0:12:33DOOR SLAMS

0:12:36 > 0:12:39That is like a warm pastry hug.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Mmm!

0:12:43 > 0:12:46The inspector is gone to love this. Oh!

0:12:47 > 0:12:49- Sorry, about breakfast...- Mm-hm.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Oh! Those look lovely.- Don't they?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Our Carol is quite the pastry chef.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59- Can I have a croissant?- No.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01They're not for ordinary guests.

0:13:03 > 0:13:04There you go, enjoy.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Why aren't you in uniform?

0:13:14 > 0:13:18I can't be bothered standing about all day. It's boring.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I can't make money for the cinema on my own.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23I mean, I'm good, but I'm only human.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Look at that. It looks just like you, Ben.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Yeah, if you squint and lower your standards.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32No, I mean, it looks just like you.

0:13:32 > 0:13:35We could stick it in town, people give it money.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37Outstanding.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Sorry, what?

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Brookville B&B? Got your statue.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Oh, you brought it to the wrong place.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46No, I've got a name and address right here. Look, Enright.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Dad again. Oh, he stepped on a rake and bam!

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Right on his face and ever since then he's just not been the same.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Oh, yeah.- Tried to mow the lawn with a bicycle this morning.

0:13:55 > 0:13:56THEY LAUGH

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Look, all I know is I've got to deliver the statue.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Yeah, to our chippy in town.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05No, I can only deliver it where it says on the system.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Fair enough.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10As long as he doesn't know it was you, Maurice Lynam.

0:14:10 > 0:14:11What?

0:14:11 > 0:14:15Well, ever since he had the... bam! he has these rages.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17HE SHOUTS I told you two sugars!

0:14:17 > 0:14:19It's scary.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I've seen him make a grown man cry like little girls.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26It's just best if he doesn't know it was you, Maurice Lynam.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Well...

0:14:30 > 0:14:31Where is this chippy?

0:14:36 > 0:14:39- Why did you want a statue out here? - It's like an ad.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Stick a bag of chips in one hand and a battered sausage in the other.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44One of your dad's ideas, is it?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Yeah, he thinks it'll be good for business.

0:14:46 > 0:14:50That's why me and my brother stand outside like that. Now, try it out.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Fair enough. Good luck.

0:14:54 > 0:14:59- Can't tell the difference. - Yeah, he can stand still, but...

0:15:00 > 0:15:01..where is the finesse?

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Looks like you've got some competition.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25We'll see about that.

0:15:25 > 0:15:26Outstanding.

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Tsss.

0:16:07 > 0:16:12Mr Enright, will you send someone to look at the window in my room?

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Two seconds.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18Hello. I ordered a garden statue for delivery this morning and it's late.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Enright.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Roman shepherd boy. No, I don't think it was.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Well, it's not here, so that's my first clue.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great. OK.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30They're going to call me back. They're saying they delivered it.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Sure it will turn up. All the guests' bathrooms cleaned?- Yes.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36- All the woodwork wet dusted and polished?- Yes.

0:16:36 > 0:16:37- Napkins?- Ironed.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42- Who irons napkins? - People who are having an inspection.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45You might as well vacuum the curtains while you're at it.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Actually, that's not a bad idea.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Do it.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Curtains.

0:16:54 > 0:16:55Charlie.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Tuttle.

0:16:57 > 0:16:58What's this?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01It's...my cousin Steve.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02Your cousin?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Yeah, don't get too close. He's concentrating.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07That doesn't look like a real person.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10That's how good he is, right, Steve?

0:17:10 > 0:17:12He is concentrating.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Is that why I can't see him breathing?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Exactly. Years of training. Now.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20Well, good to run into you.

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Nice to meet you, Steve.

0:17:22 > 0:17:23CRASH

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Oops. You better get Steve down to the doctor's.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29I think he's broken something.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Oi! Tuttle, you owe my dad a fortune.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39This statue is defective. I'd like a replacement, please.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Where is the rest of it?

0:17:42 > 0:17:44That's the defect.

0:17:44 > 0:17:45How did it break?

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Let's not get into details about it. Are you going to replace it or not?

0:17:49 > 0:17:50No.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Call that customer care? I demand to see the manager.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00It's true, a pigeon landed on it and it fell apart.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Shoddy.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07No luck, then?

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Too bad. Might as well just go home and face the music.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Hold on a minute.

0:18:15 > 0:18:16Look!

0:18:16 > 0:18:17Let's get one.

0:18:28 > 0:18:29All right, Louie?

0:18:29 > 0:18:33Just getting packed for when the shepherd boy comes.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35- All right, game, is it? - To you maybe.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Do you have a spare hair dryer that I can take with me?

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- I don't, no.- That's all right.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44I will let it dry naturally from now on.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Tell me again how this isn't stealing.

0:18:56 > 0:19:00We could make loads of money off it so we can come back and pay for it.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03OK, we're going to jail.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Look, one same as the old one.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- You climb on there, grab it. We'll wait here.- Why me?

0:19:11 > 0:19:12You're wearing camouflage.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Not for sale.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43ENGINE STARTS

0:19:55 > 0:19:56I wasn't expecting that.

0:20:03 > 0:20:07Look, Hannah, I think we should make an effort to get on.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09- I just saw a spider in the guest lounge!- What?

0:20:45 > 0:20:48- MOBILE PHONE RINGS - Charlie?

0:20:48 > 0:20:49Where are you, Ben?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Where do you think I am? In hell.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Tell him we're coming. No men left behind.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57Just wait till the truck stops, jump off and run.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00Run where? I'm miles away. I'm completely lost.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Just look for a bus stop.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Great idea.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07I will pay the fare with the Roman coins I keep in my toga pocket.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08What?

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- ENGINE STARTS - I've got to go.

0:21:10 > 0:21:11But, Ben...

0:21:15 > 0:21:17I wonder if I'm going to a new family.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Maybe they'll be rich, with horses

0:21:20 > 0:21:23and they'll let me have mayonnaise shrimp with clams.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29It won't be as good as this, though.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36I'm not going without a fight.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40OK, so we tell dad we saw a UFO

0:21:40 > 0:21:44and they abducted the statue for experiments.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Roger that.

0:21:47 > 0:21:48Excellent.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04Similar to the shepherd boy, 0%.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06I am sure Dad won't notice.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Let's go and play some video games.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10Establishing alibi. Roger that.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24SHE GASPS

0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Look what Carol did.- Hannah!

0:22:27 > 0:22:31You should fire her. Who knows what she's capable of?

0:22:31 > 0:22:32What have you done?

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Me? I'm trying to put it back in!

0:22:37 > 0:22:38Carol. How could you?

0:22:38 > 0:22:40I didn't do this.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Well, I don't know who else could have.

0:22:42 > 0:22:43You! You did it!

0:22:44 > 0:22:47- Er... I think maybe I should go. - No, no, no.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Look at this mess, I need you. Please!

0:22:49 > 0:22:51I'm much better at cleaning than her.

0:22:51 > 0:22:55I'm sorry, this is getting a bit too weird for me.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Don't, don't, don't, don't. Carol!

0:22:58 > 0:23:00I want my job back.

0:23:00 > 0:23:04What makes you think you can ask for anything after all you've just done?

0:23:04 > 0:23:06Well, obviously I've been driven insane

0:23:06 > 0:23:08by the stress of having no money.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11Great parenting. Thanks, Mum.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24Hello. Mr Enright here again.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26Yes, young Roman shepherd boy.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29So you just delivered a gorilla?

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Well, the long hairy arms are my first clue.

0:23:31 > 0:23:36No. I know my neighbour's got one. You just delivered one here!

0:23:36 > 0:23:37Look, just get down here.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Of course there won't be any violence! Why would...

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Unbelievable.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05I won't let them swap me for a shepherd boy.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08OK, buddy.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16I've done loads. I need my money. Skating starts in half an hour.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17In your dreams.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Hannah, Hannah!

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Living, 7 out of 10.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Hospitality, 5 out of 10. Food, 4 out of 10.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Mrs Newman is the hotel inspector.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39If she closes us down, I still get paid, right?

0:25:01 > 0:25:03- All right, where is it?- What?

0:25:03 > 0:25:04My statue.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07You just couldn't stand me having one up on you, could you?

0:25:07 > 0:25:10- Sorry, am I missing something? - My gorilla has gone missing.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12When I find out who took it, trouble.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16Listen, I've got a classy Roman shepherd boy arriving any minute.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17What would I want with your gorilla?

0:25:17 > 0:25:19MUFFLED VOICES

0:25:21 > 0:25:22Code red!

0:25:22 > 0:25:24How would I ever know?

0:25:24 > 0:25:27- I know you know. - How do you know that I know?

0:25:27 > 0:25:29- That doesn't make any sense. - I just don't know. I know.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37It was Carol.

0:25:37 > 0:25:38I sacked her.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40She was a liability.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45No, no, no, no.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48I don't see my gorilla in 30 seconds, I'm calling the police.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51Oh! Call the police, let's see what they've got to say.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55- Mr Enright?- Yes!

0:25:55 > 0:25:56I don't want any trouble.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00Look, just give me the Roman shepherd boy, please.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03All right, all right, calm down, calm down, steady on.

0:26:03 > 0:26:04Now, you must understand...

0:26:06 > 0:26:08..that if I swap this statue for the other one,

0:26:08 > 0:26:10I've got to take it back, all right?

0:26:12 > 0:26:14I'm not going to let them take me anywhere!

0:26:16 > 0:26:17Louie!

0:26:17 > 0:26:19HE SCREAMS

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Stop shooting! It's Ben!

0:26:24 > 0:26:26SHRIEKING

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Did you notice our toilet paper is triple quilted?

0:26:29 > 0:26:31It's the best in Scarborough.

0:26:31 > 0:26:32You can't swap me for a shepherd boy.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36No, don't push!

0:26:39 > 0:26:40My gorilla!

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Oh!

0:26:46 > 0:26:47Oh, please don't close us down.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49- I knew it.- What?

0:26:49 > 0:26:52- It wasn't me. I didn't take it. - Stick to your gnomes, mate.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55You couldn't handle a statue like this.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57- Don't fuss.- Sorry.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00I found your stature, Mr Royce.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Do I get a reward?

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Charlie!

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Come on, Bruce. Let's get you home.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17How can this be right?

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Stick an entire statue together.

0:27:19 > 0:27:23And for what? For trying to earn money to go to the cinema.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25What kind of lesson is that for a child?

0:27:25 > 0:27:27It's a travesty of justice.