0:00:33 > 0:00:36This film contains scenes of graphic images
0:00:36 > 0:00:39and is not suitable for children.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Ben, you made it. How scary can it be?
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Don't say I didn't warn you.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:52 > 0:00:54SHOUTING, HE GASPS
0:00:54 > 0:00:55HAMSTER SQUEAKING
0:00:58 > 0:01:03SQUEAKING GETS LOUDER
0:01:03 > 0:01:06THUNDER RUMBLES
0:01:06 > 0:01:08HE GASPS, THUNDER RUMBLES
0:01:08 > 0:01:09CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES
0:01:09 > 0:01:10HE SOBS
0:01:12 > 0:01:13THEY LAUGH
0:01:15 > 0:01:20Terror level, zero. I've seen brownies scarier than that!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- We'll see what the judges think, then!- What judges?
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Scarborough Bloodfest. Best new horror film wins 200 quid.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Brilliant! Let's make one!
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Hang on... You can't just... This took weeks!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Ben, you're not going to win with a film about an escaped hamster.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Come on!- But you haven't seen the scene with the goldfish yet!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Here you are. Enjoy your stay, Mr Robson.- Thanks very much.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Couldn't help noticing the bird figurines you have on display.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Local artist is it? - No, no. I made those.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Ah... Then YOU are a local artist.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59I wouldn't say artist, Mr Robson. More a passionate amateur.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01They're wonderful. And please, call me Dave.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09- Lovely. Lovely, lovely man. - How many times? The answer is no.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11It's not fair!
0:02:11 > 0:02:15New guest just checked in. Seems quite a personable chap, actually.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Kevin, will you tell her we're not going to pay for her
0:02:17 > 0:02:19to go on holiday to London.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21It's not a holiday, it's a dance festival.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22My whole crew are going.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27- Crew? What, are you sailing down there?- My street dance crew.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Tell her we can't afford it.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Fine! I'll get the money myself! By street dancing!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Where?!
0:02:34 > 0:02:36You really haven't got a clue, have you?
0:02:39 > 0:02:43We haven't got a hamster! BUT, we do have a plastic skeleton.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46- Oh, that's all right, then(!) - And a story.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49I'm a vampire who gets out of his coffin, bites the skeleton
0:02:49 > 0:02:50and gets covered in blood.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53OK, one, vampires don't bite skeletons.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56And two, skeletons don't bleed. Three...
0:02:56 > 0:02:59My intel was correct - there's a door under the church!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- We can infiltrate the crypt! - Excellent!
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Don't you think we should ask permission?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07They won't mind, Ben. They're dead!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Course they'll mind!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Who dares disturb the Prince of Darkness?!
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Urgh, uurrrrrrgh! Urrrrrgh!
0:03:26 > 0:03:27This is ludicrous.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Who's that? Is there someone down in the crypt?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- The vicar!- Abandon crypt!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43I shall phone the police! You won't get away with this!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54SHE TURNS A DANCE CD ON
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Scarborough! ARE YOU READY?!
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Dave! Ah, there you are.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Thought you might like to have a look at some more figurines.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Kevin, I really don't think the guests want to see
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- your little models. - Helen Price!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- David Robson! Fancy seeing you again!- You too!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31You've not changed a bit.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32THEY LAUGH
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- So where do you two know each other? - David was my first boyfriend.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41- Was he?! Like...at primary school? - No, like proper serious boyfriend.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I had no idea you were still in Scarborough.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Well... Not still in Scarborough. Back in Scarborough.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Big difference. What about you?
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Me... I'm a doctor now. I'm here for a medical conference.
0:04:54 > 0:05:00- Wow. You did well for yourself. - Yeah. You too...
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Yeah.- Yeah.- We should have a proper catch up.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Yeah!- Maybe! Maybe... But she's got a stack
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- of ironing to get through so... - Well, I've got five minutes...
0:05:13 > 0:05:15So we're all agreed, the movie is cancelled.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18What?! Where did you get that from?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Well... We got chased away from set by an angry vicar,
0:05:21 > 0:05:24we left all our props and...
0:05:24 > 0:05:26You can't act.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Roger that. You were worse than the skeleton.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Right. OK. So we'll get another actor. Can't be that difficult!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Look! A perfect vampire!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41But what if he says no to being in the film?
0:05:41 > 0:05:45He won't be able to. Because I'm not going to ask him.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Oh, this new geography app is so educational...
0:05:50 > 0:05:54Oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to press that button.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00A vampire being blinded by the light.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02And you're going to make a whole film like that?
0:06:02 > 0:06:06Why not? It's how they made all the Harry Potter films.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08No, it isn't.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12DANCE MUSIC PLAYS Thanks. I appreciate it.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17THEY LAUGH You better run! Hat thief!
0:06:17 > 0:06:22Excusez moi. Afraid you're somewhat encroaching on our turf.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- You what?- We're dancing here. Scarborough Morris,
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- of which I am squire.- Who says YOU own the street?
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Permit from the council.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34I do sympathise.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37After all, Scarborough Morris are street dancers too.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Hey nonny no!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42But I am an ACTUAL street dancer?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45I'm ACTUALLY going to London for a festival?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Ah! A fellow traveller indeed!
0:06:47 > 0:06:52This gang of reprobates will be at the self-same knees-up.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I literally have no idea what you're talking about.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58We're going to the festival too.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03And are always looking for new members to don the bells...
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- BELLS JINGLE - What do you say, kiddo?!
0:07:09 > 0:07:10So, the vampire rises from the dead,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13goes around town sucking people's blood. Arrgh!
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Then the sun rises, kills him, the end.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Right.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20And how are you going to film that man sucking people's blood?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- We'll sort out the fine details later.- Who's the little guy?
0:07:24 > 0:07:27You're not a real vampire unless you've got an assistant.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31But that's ANOTHER actor! How are we going to do that?
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Louie!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Yes, Charlie?
0:07:34 > 0:07:35You know that new guest downstairs?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Yes.- He's got your job.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39The one you're going to do when you grow up.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- What job? - That's a secret.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44But the way to find out is to follow him everywhere
0:07:44 > 0:07:47and copy EVERY single thing he does.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51- OK. Thanks, Charlie. - Oh, and dress smartly.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01We're using an innocent child as an undercover operative?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Yeah.- Beautiful.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05See that's the difference between you and me, Ben.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09YOU look for problems, while I look for solutions.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Right... Yeah... Good one.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17My Hannah! A Morris dancer. Who'd have thought it?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I'm not ACTUALLY Morris dancing. I mean I am.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22But none of my friends'll see me,
0:08:22 > 0:08:25and as soon as it's over I can go and hook up with my REAL crew.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27It's true, I really am out of touch with the kids.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Why can't you just be happy for me, for once?!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I AM happy!
0:08:32 > 0:08:36- Full of the joys of spring? - Wait till I tell you why...
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Let me guess. Something to do with the "coincidental"
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- reappearance of dishy Dr Dave. - Oi. It was 20 years ago!
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- And if you must know, I dumped him. - YOU dumped him?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Yes, actually.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52He was really geeky, didn't look like it was going anywhere.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Well, look at him now, eh? A doctor. Rich, successful.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Devastatingly handsome. - Perhaps YOU should ask him out.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Mum, can Alison and Ben sleepover?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Yeah... As long as their parents say it's OK.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I just think it's a little bit weird.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Of all the B&Bs in all the world he had to check into ours.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12- You're right, he's come back for me so we can run away together.- What?
0:09:15 > 0:09:21OK... So the first shot of the film, the vampire rises from the dead.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23How do we know what time he's going to wake up?
0:09:23 > 0:09:28I'm pretty sure it'll happen when I set off this klaxon.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- KLAXON BLARES, HE GASPS - What? Who?
0:09:33 > 0:09:36What are you doing?! What's going on?!
0:09:37 > 0:09:43You booked an alarm call, sir? 3am? No?
0:09:45 > 0:09:50- What was that noise? Ben? - They woke me!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I suffer from
0:09:52 > 0:09:57nocturnal ambulatory syndrome...
0:09:57 > 0:09:59AKA sleepwalking.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02Charlie!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05CRASHING
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Waking Dr Robson, shining lights in his face...
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- He was very cross. - Erm...
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- But I know why you did it. - You do?
0:10:20 > 0:10:24You saw me and your mum arguing, and you were worried.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28So you decided to get rid of Dr Robson.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Yeah...yeah, that's what it is.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Oh, Charlie. Come here.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36There we go. Nothing to be worried about.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Why are we filming this?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Scene seven, blood gushes in the vampire's face.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Blood? What blood?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12I've booby trapped the ketchup. Observe...
0:11:17 > 0:11:20YOU did this, didn't you?! I'm going to speak to your mother...
0:11:20 > 0:11:22No, don't!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25It's my dad. He makes me play these tricks.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27He's jealous of you because you used to be mum's boyfriend
0:11:27 > 0:11:30and now you're a really successful doctor.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Well, he has been rather unfriendly since he found out.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Yeah. Dad does weird stuff when he's jealous.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42One guy, Dad emptied his suitcase and filled it with dead jellyfish.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Really?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Yeah... Please don't tell Mum. I promise,
0:11:46 > 0:11:47no more tricks.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I'll just go on my new geography app.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57We're studying Swedish coconut farms.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Hoho! Ahem...
0:12:07 > 0:12:09MORRIS MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Ah... It's our novice! Just in time for the first set!
0:12:17 > 0:12:21I trust you've been reading the handbook?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22What?!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I just came to get my train ticket.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29All in good time. First, take up your sticks.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- No, I've got to bounce. - Eventually.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34But we'll start with the basics - double step
0:12:34 > 0:12:38and Adderbury hand movements, then into the half hey.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40BELLS JINGLE AS THEY WALK
0:12:42 > 0:12:45MORRIS MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:49 > 0:12:54Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What do you call that?!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56I thought I'd just freestyle.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58If you're to be festival-fit, Hannah,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01we require commitment and dedication.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03From the top!
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Why do I have to do this?
0:13:17 > 0:13:21Because Mum never, ever listens to a single word I say.
0:13:21 > 0:13:22I'm no psychoanalyst,
0:13:22 > 0:13:27but do you think that might be connected to your constant lying?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28In!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34What's that thing on your neck, Mrs Enright?
0:13:34 > 0:13:40- What thing? - That purple mark. Like a rash.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- Where? - Just, just there.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44It COULD be viral.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48If it spreads, you might lose MAJOR comms systems - like your ears.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Oh, yes. That looks nasty.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Yeah, you better get a doctor to look at that.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Like that Dr Robson. - Dr Robson? Oh, David.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Yes, I will. I'll ask him.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Oh, David, I am sorry to trouble you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Could you have a look at my neck?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- Your neck? - With you being a doctor.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15A doctor. Yes, sure. Of course. Yeah. Take a seat, sit down.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I'll have a look on the web and see
0:14:17 > 0:14:19if there is anything about scary purple neck marks.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- It's just there, at the back... - Why don't you have a closer look?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? - I've got a big mark on my neck.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- I was just examining her. - I suggest, doctor, the only
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- thing that needs examining around here are your motives.- You what?!
0:14:34 > 0:14:39- I think I'll just go to my room. - Little bit creepy.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Him or you?!
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Don't you see it, do you? He's a lady killer.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Mark my words. He's come back to get you.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Charlie, what are you doing?!
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Erm... Internet stuff you'd never understand.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56Dad... Could you say that lady killer bit again, but more sinister?
0:15:03 > 0:15:04Remember, Hannah,
0:15:04 > 0:15:08a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Or in your case, a double-step. For now, farewell.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Hi, Hannah!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Ingrid! Didn't see you there.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24What's with the outfit?!
0:15:24 > 0:15:27This? Oh, I've just come from a... martial arts class.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31Oh, wow. So why are you wearing bells?
0:15:31 > 0:15:34It's because of the level I'm at.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38After the black belt, you move up. To bell belt.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Oh, so are these like your weapons?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44That's right. I could actually kill a man with these.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Gosh, Hannah. There's so much we don't know about you.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48And let's hope it stays that way.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54See? You said it couldn't be done but we've filmed all the scenes.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Except one. The vampire and his assistant walk through the graveyard
0:15:58 > 0:16:01crying out for blood. And that's impossible.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04The word impossible is not in our dictionary.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Yes, it is. It after impetuous and before impractical.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Oh. It's just you.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15- Dad's looking for you. - What? Why?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Something about you trying to break up his marriage...
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I was examining your mum's neck!
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Don't try to explain it. It makes Dad angrier.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24What? He's done this before?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26That's it - I'm moving to another B&B.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28No, don't! The other bloke did and Dad said him
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- running away was proof that he was guilty.- And what happened?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I don't know. But the bloke lives in Greenland now.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Says he feels safe there.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38This is a nightmare. I'm trapped in a nightmare.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43I tell you what... I'll talk to Dad, you lie low for a bit.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Maybe the graveyard, yeah?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Dad never goes there - says he hears the bodies talking to him
0:16:48 > 0:16:51or something.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54OK. Yeah, the graveyard. Yeah. Sure. Why not?
0:16:56 > 0:17:02Ooh, no. I wouldn't wear that. Too recognisable. Try this...
0:17:02 > 0:17:04It's a cape!
0:17:11 > 0:17:13MORRIS MUSIC PLAYS, BELLS JANGLE
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Ah! You are really getting into this, aren't you!- No, I'm not!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18It's just a way of getting to London, that's all!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Hey... I could help you make up one of those funny colourful hats.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22That's Border Morris.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25We're Cotswold Morris which is, like,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27a totally different tradition.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- But like you say, you're not really into it, are you?- I need that.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- I have to film my moves for playback and analysis.- Ooh!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42OK, Hannah, concentrate! You can do this.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- Final shot. This movie making is dead easy.- Wait a minute.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53I thought he was meant to be crying out for blood.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55That's where you come in.
0:17:57 > 0:18:03Excuse me, sir. I've lost my dog. Could you help me find him?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- I know you, don't I? From the B&B? - Hi, Ben.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Oh, yeah... My name is
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Ben...jamin Chuzzletop.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20Well, Benjamin Chuzzletop. Shall we help you find this dog?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Yes. His name's Blood.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Blood?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Yeah... He's a bloodhound. So it IS a normal name.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32- Not ridiculous at all. - All right. Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Blood!
0:18:34 > 0:18:36You might have to shout louder. He's a bit deaf.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43- Blood! Bloo-ood! - Blood! Blood!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Blood!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Oi! You there!- Hello, vicar.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- What's your game?- Sorry?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52The bones and candles you left down in my crypt...?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55What? No, you've got the wrong person.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59I was just helping Benjamin Chuzzletop find his dog.
0:18:59 > 0:19:04That's interesting, since Benjamin Chuzzletop died in 1836.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Eh?!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09POLICE RADIO CHATTER
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Perhaps we should continue this chat
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- at the police station, sir? - The dog...
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- You lot, you've ruined Whitby! - That's a wrap!
0:19:23 > 0:19:25MORRIS MUSIC PLAYS, BELLS JINGLE
0:19:50 > 0:19:53You've got three yeses.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55You're coming to London!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Oh, thank you...
0:20:02 > 0:20:04There. Attack Of The Beast is complete.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08No exaggeration, I think we've just made the greatest movie of all time.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12- I'll get it to the cinema. - I'll send the e-mail entry form.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15And I'll start planning the sequel.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Trust me, Ben, the audience will be begging for it.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Ah... Look who it is. Old Desecrating Dave.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Thanks for vouching for me with the police.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28What you do in your spare time is your own business.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Although Hels was pretty shocked.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Look. Kevin. We need to talk.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38The thing is, I haven't been entirely honest with you. Or Helen.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Oh, yes? - When I knew Helen...before,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42she thought I was a bit of a geek.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46So when I saw her again yesterday I said the first stupid thing
0:20:46 > 0:20:50that came into my head, that I was a successful doctor.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52And you're not a doctor?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Oh, yes! In your stupid face, Helen!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I'm actually here for a film festival. Scarborough Bloodfest?
0:21:00 > 0:21:03No. Never heard of it. Carry on.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Amateur horror. You don't get much geekier than that.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Hahaha! No. No. You certainly do not.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11You're welcome to come along. I'm judging the contest...
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Wait... You're the judge?! You mean you're going to watch the films?
0:21:15 > 0:21:18I can hardly judge them without watching, can I?!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- PHONE BEEPS - Oh! E-mail!
0:21:20 > 0:21:25Ah! A late entry! Attack Of The Beast from Charlie Enright.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28- That's you, isn't it?- You've entered the film festival?
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Well, I look forward to seeing what you've come up with!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Yes. So do I! This is exciting isn't it?
0:21:34 > 0:21:35You can... Oh, he's gone!
0:21:37 > 0:21:39HE'S the judge?!
0:21:39 > 0:21:42The man we terrorised, got arrested, and secretly filmed for two days...
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- is the judge? - Nothing's ever easy, is it?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Charlie! We need to get that film back! Now.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50But he already knows we've entered.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54We've got to show something - we'll use YOUR film!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57A Squeak In The Dark? But you said it was rubbish!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59What do I know? Mr Robson's an expert.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01He'll probably think it's dead good.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04There were certain subtleties you overlooked...
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Right. Let's bang it on a flash drive, get it down to the cinema.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11I wonder if the critics will understand
0:22:11 > 0:22:14- the symbolism of the goldfish... - Ben! We're in a hurry!
0:22:30 > 0:22:33OK, so we need to find the projection room and swap this.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Got to be through there. I'll create a diversion.- Yeah.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Just for once, it'd be nice to go through a door that DIDN'T have
0:22:40 > 0:22:43a do not enter sing on it.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- Look out! It's a King Cobra! - THEY GASP
0:22:47 > 0:22:50False alarm! Just a fire hose.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55The projection room. This is sacred ground.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Whatever. Just swap the sticks over.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Got it.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I am staff. Thought I heard a commotion up here.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- But no, everything seems to be tickety-boo.- Back to work!
0:23:27 > 0:23:30"Scarborough Bloodfest". Not really my sort of thing.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33No, me neither. You know whose sort of thing it is?
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Dave. Your lying, grave-robbing ex-boyfriend.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Is that why you brought me here? To tell me what a geek he is?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Look around.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43If you'd stayed with him, this is where you'd be - Geek City.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- Hi, Dad.- Just saying how proud we are of you, son.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Charlie, I can't understand the job. I've given up.
0:23:51 > 0:23:52OK, buddy.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Does that mean I'll never work and I'll always be poor like Dad?!
0:23:56 > 0:24:01- Eh?- Where does he get all this stuff?! Hahaha!
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I'll make my own way down to London.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Hook up with you guys at the festival.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- Make your own way? Are you sure? - She'll be fine.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12She can kill a man with two sticks, you know?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21LOUD MOANING
0:24:21 > 0:24:23SHE SIGHS
0:24:23 > 0:24:25SHE GASPS
0:24:25 > 0:24:28THEY SCREAM
0:24:35 > 0:24:36These films are rubbish.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40I know! I'll have nightmares from how boring they were.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Two chocolate tubs, please.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44SHE LAUGHS
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Working behind enemy lines! Nice!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49It's actually quite stressful.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I don't think I'll hit my sales target.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats for our next film.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57It's your hamster film!
0:24:57 > 0:25:01This one's from local film-maker Charlie Enright.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03THEY CHEER
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Come on, Hannah, you can do this.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16- MORRIS MUSIC STARTS - Hannah?!
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Charlie! He copied the wrong film!
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Sorry, bit of a technical problem...
0:25:28 > 0:25:31This is just me messing around. I'm not seriously doing a double
0:25:31 > 0:25:34spring caper with Bampton hand movements.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I HATE Morris dancing.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40Obviously. It's for weirdos, losers and total sad sacks.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Young lady! - Oh, great!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48You're hereby banished, vanquished,
0:25:48 > 0:25:52and ostracised from the Scarborough Morris!
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Come on, Morris men!
0:25:59 > 0:26:03I can still come to London, right?! Right?! Call me!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Um. Well, apologies for the mix-up there. But it's not a problem.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- We'll just play the backup copy. - Backup copy?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10When the entries came in,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13we make backup copies in case of problems like this.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15When they came in? That means the film must be...
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Oh, no!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26LOW MOANING AND GROANING
0:26:26 > 0:26:27HE GASPS
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Blood! Blood!
0:26:33 > 0:26:38- Blood!- Blood! Bloooood!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44HE is a lady killer.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Mark my words, he's come back to get you.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56SCREAMING
0:26:56 > 0:26:59HOWLING
0:27:05 > 0:27:10SILENCE
0:27:14 > 0:27:17I know my job now! I'm a vampire!
0:27:18 > 0:27:21See? That was definitely the scariest film.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Can I have the money now?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Argh! That kid just bit me!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Charlie!
0:27:36 > 0:27:40How can this be right? Cleaning moss off the old gravestones.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44And for what? For using my imagination to make a film.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47What kind of lesson is that for a child?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49It's a travesty of justice!