Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04If you want to find out why this man is feeding me

0:00:04 > 0:00:08- giant bogeys, stay tuned.- That's not something you hear every day, Ed.

0:00:08 > 0:00:09But it makes me want to pick out

0:00:09 > 0:00:11today's best bits with Johny...

0:00:11 > 0:00:14You are a strong dude, Roger.

0:00:14 > 0:00:15..Naomi...

0:00:15 > 0:00:16Ceallach...

0:00:16 > 0:00:18What have you done to my car?!

0:00:18 > 0:00:19..Ian...

0:00:19 > 0:00:22and Susan.

0:00:22 > 0:00:23Let's go to the phones and see

0:00:23 > 0:00:26how many of these great products we've sold.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31# All over the place

0:00:31 > 0:00:34# All over the place

0:00:34 > 0:00:37# North, south, east, west on a bizarre quest

0:00:37 > 0:00:39# Me and my mates all over the place

0:00:39 > 0:00:41# It's true what you've heard

0:00:41 > 0:00:42# Everything is absurd

0:00:42 > 0:00:45# Whatever we do is strange but true

0:00:45 > 0:00:47# All over the place

0:00:47 > 0:00:49# All over the place

0:00:49 > 0:00:52# There's stuff to do Down Under that is totally ace

0:00:52 > 0:00:56# And it turns up all over the place. #

0:00:56 > 0:01:00First up, the Great Barrier Reef in Queensland,

0:01:00 > 0:01:03which has its own floating Post Office.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06I love being here in Australia.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10The sunshine, the warmth, the beautiful Great Barrier Reef.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13I'm particularly glad we came to the Great Barrier Reef,

0:01:13 > 0:01:16otherwise I would never have met Findlay, my new co-presenter!

0:01:16 > 0:01:17Findlay?

0:01:17 > 0:01:18Yeah, Findlay the fish.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Your new co-presenter can't even talk, though.

0:01:21 > 0:01:22I think you'll find he can.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24Sorry, what was that, Findlay?

0:01:24 > 0:01:26You want Naomi to go away?

0:01:26 > 0:01:27Oh!

0:01:27 > 0:01:30You better do what he says, he can get quite aggressive.

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Oh, really?!

0:01:31 > 0:01:33- See, I told you.- Stop it.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35SPLASH

0:01:36 > 0:01:39- You did that on purpose! - I didn't.- I'm sorry.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42You did! You were jealous of my new career and all the franchise deals

0:01:42 > 0:01:43and the Hollywood movies.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46We were going to set up our own chain of fish and chip shops.

0:01:46 > 0:01:47The least you can do is help me find him!

0:01:47 > 0:01:50In the Great Barrier Reef?! But it's massive!

0:01:50 > 0:01:52We're never going to find him.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54Findlay!

0:01:55 > 0:01:57She's right, Ed.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Findlay's only gone and landed right bang in the middle

0:02:00 > 0:02:03of the largest reef in the world, the Great Barrier Reef.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05It's so big it is the only living structure

0:02:05 > 0:02:07that can be seen from space.

0:02:07 > 0:02:12No wonder the reef is one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15'Ed and Naomi: you have 43 seconds

0:02:15 > 0:02:17'to find out as much as you can

0:02:17 > 0:02:19'about the Great Barrier Reef.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23'Ed, you have Scott, who knows all about the Reef.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25'Naomi, you have Craig,

0:02:25 > 0:02:27'who knows all about marine life.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30'Whoever wins gets a really special prize.

0:02:30 > 0:02:35'3, 2, 1, go!'

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- How old is the reef? - About 20,000 years old.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41- What is the smallest species of fish in the Barrier Reef?- Goby.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43- How long is it?- 3,000 kilometres.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45- What is the biggest?- The whale shark.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- How wide is it at its widest point? - Only about 50 kilometres.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50How many species of fish are there in the Barrier Reef?

0:02:50 > 0:02:531,500 different species of fish.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57- How deep is it?- It varies a lot but roughly ten metres deep.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00How many fish in total in the whole Barrier Reef?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Absolutely billions. - That is a bit of a stupid question.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05How far from the Australian coast is it?

0:03:05 > 0:03:07It starts at about 27 kilometres off the coast.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10I'm English - do they sell chips out there with the fish?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12No, they don't. You can't catch fish everywhere.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Can I break a bits of it off and take it home?

0:03:15 > 0:03:17No, it's World Heritage-listed, please don't do that.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19KLAXON

0:03:19 > 0:03:21We did quite well there, didn't we?

0:03:21 > 0:03:23And don't take any of that reef home with you.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Naughty reef stealers.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28'And the winner is...

0:03:28 > 0:03:30- 'Ed!'- Aw!

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Great, that means I've got a prize. What's the prize?

0:03:33 > 0:03:35'It's a unique Great Barrier Reef experience -

0:03:35 > 0:03:39'a chance to walk on the bottom of the ocean!'

0:03:39 > 0:03:40Sounds quite good.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42The Great Barrier Reef is the most

0:03:42 > 0:03:45popular tourist destination in Australia,

0:03:45 > 0:03:47with over two million people visiting every year,

0:03:47 > 0:03:50and today it has two more visitors.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52And prize-winning Ed will be spotting some sea life

0:03:52 > 0:03:55under the sea. But he won't even get his hair wet

0:03:55 > 0:03:57because this special suit means

0:03:57 > 0:04:00he can walk, talk and breathe underwater.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Can you hear me, Ed?

0:04:02 > 0:04:03I can hear you, Naomi, yes.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05He can hear me!

0:04:05 > 0:04:09I feel like I'm in space, but underwater.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10It's really, really weird.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13And a lot of fish around you.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16A massive school of fish, I've never seen so many fish.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18It's like walking round in an aquarium.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20If you want to play snap,

0:04:20 > 0:04:23there's a whole load of fish down here.

0:04:23 > 0:04:24I wonder if you'll get this first one.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28It's a sort of blue fish with a yellow tail.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30I wonder if you can see any of those.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33They all have yellow on them somewhere.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36There are absolutely loads of these sort of blue things

0:04:36 > 0:04:39with yellow tails. I've spotted about...

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Bingo!

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Well done, Ed, that's the Yellowtail Fusilier.

0:04:47 > 0:04:48Give me another one.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50It's a very large shell

0:04:50 > 0:04:52with a wavy edge.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54It opens and closes,

0:04:54 > 0:04:57looks like a mermaid could come out of it.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59I'm standing right next to it!

0:04:59 > 0:05:01It is a giant clam.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04I didn't even know these things existed. Look at this!

0:05:04 > 0:05:05Well spotted, Ed.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Can you see this?!

0:05:07 > 0:05:08I can see, it's amazing!

0:05:08 > 0:05:11- It's massive!- Crazy!

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Don't put your hands in it, will you? I have a red one here.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17It was a sea cucumber.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19What's this, is this a sea cucumber?

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Yes, congratulations, Ed - that is indeed a sea cucumber.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24You have got them all!

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Not only am I having the time of my life,

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I have also completed Naomi's snap game.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31Wow!

0:05:31 > 0:05:33That was amazing!

0:05:33 > 0:05:36I had no idea it would be that good!

0:05:36 > 0:05:39It's incredible! It's like a whole other world.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Like a completely different planet.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44You have no idea when you're on the surface of it all.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46I'm so sorry I'm rubbing it in.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48It's all right, you had a lovely time.

0:05:48 > 0:05:49It's just amazing!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54I've never seen so many breathtakingly beautiful fish.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Aw!

0:05:56 > 0:05:58I just wish one of them had been Findlay.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Speaking of which, while you were on the sea bed,

0:06:00 > 0:06:01look who showed up.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Findlay! All right, mate?

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Why is he blanking me?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08I don't know, shall we ask him?

0:06:08 > 0:06:09What's that you said?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11You don't want to talk to Ed any more?

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Sorry, Findlay. You want me

0:06:13 > 0:06:15to star in your next Hollywood blockbuster,

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Finding Findlay 2,

0:06:17 > 0:06:18as your co-star?!

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Sorry, Ed, looks like we are off to Hollywood.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Come on, Findlay.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26I don't care anyway!

0:06:26 > 0:06:29I'm friends with a clam now!

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Clammy?!

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Where are you, Clammy?!

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Burrawang, New South Wales.

0:06:43 > 0:06:44# From Down Under... #

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Good-looking, rugged, versatile.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54- All words that describe... - Ceallach Spellman.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57No, the Australian Ute. It's an Aussie icon.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00It's an engineering marvel, a true work of art.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Ed, look out!

0:07:04 > 0:07:07Is this where Utes come to die?

0:07:23 > 0:07:25This isn't a Ute graveyard,

0:07:25 > 0:07:27it's Utes in the Paddock,

0:07:27 > 0:07:29a tribute to the most popular car in all of Australia,

0:07:29 > 0:07:31the trusty Ute.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35They can do a lot of different things and are usually associated

0:07:35 > 0:07:37with real Aussie men,

0:07:37 > 0:07:39so I don't know why Ed was driving one.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- This place is amazing!- Yeah, welcome to Utes in the Paddock.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Where do all these Utes come from?

0:07:44 > 0:07:46They've been donated by local people in the community

0:07:46 > 0:07:48and been painted by Australian artists.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Are they all designed by one person?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52No, by several different Australian artists

0:07:52 > 0:07:55and each aspect is something uniquely Australian.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57'Let us now enjoy

0:07:57 > 0:07:59'some priceless Australian car art.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00'Shall we, darlings?'

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Do you think his bum looks big in this?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05I don't think it fits, I think he needs a size down.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07I haven't got the heart to tell him.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12'This piece interprets the indigenous flora and fauna

0:08:12 > 0:08:15'through a Dali-esque, surrealist kangaroo.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18'Whilst this work celebrates the tradition of outback farming

0:08:18 > 0:08:20'through an expressive painted montage.'

0:08:20 > 0:08:23I am delighted to tell you that on this occasion

0:08:23 > 0:08:25your car has passed its MOT.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Drive home safely.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29What have you done to my car?!

0:08:29 > 0:08:32'And this exquisite work looks like...'

0:08:32 > 0:08:34An outdoor toilet?

0:08:34 > 0:08:36I really do love the iconography of this piece.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38I would say it's post-modern

0:08:38 > 0:08:40because of the social comment on celebrity.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42There's a horrible smell round here, though.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Must have been that muesli I ate.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Ceallach, you've used the facilities,

0:08:46 > 0:08:48now let's test you on the utilities!

0:08:52 > 0:08:56Coming live from a Ute!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58I am going to spy something

0:08:58 > 0:08:59with my little eye

0:08:59 > 0:09:01and if you guess what it is, good for you.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05But if you don't, you'll be driving home in one of these.

0:09:05 > 0:09:06They don't have engines in, do they?

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Exactly!

0:09:08 > 0:09:10I spy... I've started the game show now...

0:09:10 > 0:09:13I spy with my little eye

0:09:13 > 0:09:16something beginning with U.

0:09:16 > 0:09:17Ute.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20You'd think so, wouldn't you? But no, no, it's...

0:09:23 > 0:09:26This former family FE model Ute.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29It now impacts plenty of bounce for its buck

0:09:29 > 0:09:32and runs on kangaroo patrol.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I wouldn't want to get near that joey in its pouch, either.

0:09:35 > 0:09:36I spy with my little eye

0:09:36 > 0:09:39something beginning with G.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41G...

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Grey hair.

0:09:43 > 0:09:44It's silver.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Incorrect!

0:09:46 > 0:09:49It's actually this flaming Galah!

0:09:49 > 0:09:52A 1971 Holden HQ.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54It's called Circle Work.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57"Flaming galah" is an insult to an Australian,

0:09:57 > 0:09:59- so make sure you don't say it to anyone.- OK.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01You flaming galah!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03I spy with my little eye

0:10:03 > 0:10:06something beginning with N.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08No dress sense.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10HE LAUGHS

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Well, I have better dress sense than this man...

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Ned Kelly was an outlaw and folk hero

0:10:16 > 0:10:18in Outback history.

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Much like myself.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21And I'm afraid you've lost

0:10:21 > 0:10:23and we're driving home in one of these.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26I don't think I will. I have my Ute parked elsewhere.

0:10:26 > 0:10:27- Cheers.- Oh, really(?)

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Is that so(?)

0:10:29 > 0:10:32See you next time, Ute lovers!

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Boys, do you remember where you parked your Ute?

0:10:35 > 0:10:39I just hope Game Show Man has not turned into a piece of art!

0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Eh!- No!

0:10:42 > 0:10:43Why did you park our Ute there?!

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Because he's stupid.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Looks like we're going walkabout, mate.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50It looks that way, doesn't it?

0:11:01 > 0:11:04# Do the kangaroo hop, hop!

0:11:04 > 0:11:06# Do the kangaroo hop, hop... #

0:11:06 > 0:11:10Welcome to the kangaroo sanctuary near Alice Springs.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13It's a place where injured or orphaned kangaroos

0:11:13 > 0:11:15can live and hop to their hearts' content.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17The 30 kangaroos that live at the sanctuary

0:11:17 > 0:11:20are red kangaroos...

0:11:21 > 0:11:23..and can grow taller than the average man

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Just as well they have someone taller than the average man

0:11:26 > 0:11:29looking after them.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Hi, there. You must be Brolga. - I am, mate. How are you?

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Not bad. Who have we got here?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37It's a little joey.

0:11:37 > 0:11:38Hello, little joey.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41- Little Benny. - He's not called Joey, then?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43Well, he's a joey but his name's Benny.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Right, I get it. A baby kangaroo is a joey.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48He is so cute. How old is he?

0:11:48 > 0:11:49He's about six months.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52Wow! Oh, you've got two!

0:11:52 > 0:11:54- You are kind of like a kangaroo mum. - I am.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57I'm a kangaroo mum of the Australian Outback.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59This is definitely worth getting out of bed for.

0:11:59 > 0:12:00What a lovely sunrise.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04I hope you will be able to tell me what I am carrying a pillowcase for.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06That pillowcase would make a great home

0:12:06 > 0:12:08for a baby kangaroo that is orphaned.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10So this is a surrogate pouch, then?

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Yes, yes.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Don't let him near that yet, this has our questions in.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16- So we can't put a kangaroo in there? - Not yet.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Later on?- Yeah.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21OK. Cos I'm looking at that and thinking, "I need one."

0:12:21 > 0:12:22That's a really good one.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- You can have it later if you answer all our questions. Deal?- Deal.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27BENNY: Hurry up, then, I want to get in there.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29It looks nice and cosy!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33'Let's play the kangaroo hop quiz.'

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39What size of shoe would kangaroo wear?

0:12:39 > 0:12:4013½.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43How far can a kangaroo hop and how high?

0:12:43 > 0:12:45The longest leap recorded is eight metres

0:12:45 > 0:12:48and as high as nine to ten feet.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Why is the kangaroo pouch such a great place for joeys to live?

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Because it's nice and warm, constant body temperature

0:12:54 > 0:12:56and there is milk on tap.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58What other animals have pouches?

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Koalas, wombats, possums.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02How smart are kangaroos?

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Very, very smart cos they're Australian.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I've heard that kangaroos can box, is that true?

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Yes, kangaroos are really good boxers.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12What do kangaroos eat?

0:13:12 > 0:13:13Kangaroos eat grass

0:13:13 > 0:13:15and the leaves of trees.

0:13:15 > 0:13:16They're grazers and browsers.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18We've done it!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20- You can have that pillowcase now. - Thank you.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Can I have it to sleep on?

0:13:22 > 0:13:23KANGAROO: You can't rest yet.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26You got to help me look after me mates!

0:13:26 > 0:13:29How old are these ones, then?

0:13:29 > 0:13:31When will they come off milk?

0:13:31 > 0:13:33This one's Alan.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35And this one's Daniel.

0:13:35 > 0:13:40They are both about nine or ten months old.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43They both need milk until they're about 12 months.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Alan is a good, solid Aussie name.

0:13:46 > 0:13:47THEY LAUGH

0:13:47 > 0:13:50There's actually a baby inside there now?

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Wow, I just saw it!

0:13:52 > 0:13:55It just popped its head out. Hello!

0:13:55 > 0:13:59OK, it's time to meet a rather larger kangaroo.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01This is Roger.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Hello. I guess he's trying to intimidate us,

0:14:04 > 0:14:06and I am pretty intimidated.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Roger is the leader of the pack here

0:14:08 > 0:14:10and he's not quite so cuddly.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Stay well away from adult kangaroos

0:14:12 > 0:14:16unless you're with a kangaroo mum like Brolga.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18You want to come in here, boys.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21you want to feel his muscles.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24I suppose that is an opportunity I shouldn't let...

0:14:24 > 0:14:26They're like mine!

0:14:26 > 0:14:29That's about the thickness of my arm.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Wow!

0:14:31 > 0:14:33You are a strong dude, Roger!

0:14:33 > 0:14:34ROGER: 'Sure am, mate.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38'That's what life in the Australian outback does for ya.'

0:14:38 > 0:14:40I love it here at the sanctuary.

0:14:40 > 0:14:41I wouldn't mind living here myself.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43I wouldn't mind being a joey in a pouch.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46I'd have to kit mine out with some top-notch gear first, though.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49I'm not sure where marsupials do their shopping.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Funny you should say that, Ed.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55We know you marsupian mums

0:14:55 > 0:14:58like to keep your pouches clean with your own tongues,

0:14:58 > 0:15:01but some times in the hot Australian desert

0:15:01 > 0:15:03you'll need a bit of extra lick.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05I have the perfect product for that,

0:15:05 > 0:15:07exclusive to Marsupimarket TV.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08- Have you now?- Yeah.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Two litres of Wola-Boga's

0:15:10 > 0:15:13100%-organic wombat spit.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17It's so easy for you kangaroo mums,

0:15:17 > 0:15:18it really is.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Take the top off there like that.

0:15:20 > 0:15:25All you do this pour a little bit in your pouch like that and stir...

0:15:25 > 0:15:27So easy.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29And then you bounce around a little bit, like that,

0:15:29 > 0:15:31and you give it a good clean.

0:15:33 > 0:15:34SHE SNIFFS AND RETCHES

0:15:36 > 0:15:38But what about marsupials without pouches,

0:15:38 > 0:15:41like numbats - do they get left out?

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Not on Marsupimarket TV, they don't!

0:15:44 > 0:15:49This next little beauty will help all you not-pouch-having numbats

0:15:49 > 0:15:52fit right in with the 'roos at your local watering hole.

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- And it comes with this stuffed joey for a limited time only.- Wow!

0:15:56 > 0:15:57Let's go to the phones and see

0:15:57 > 0:16:01how many of these great products we've sold.

0:16:01 > 0:16:02OK, no,

0:16:02 > 0:16:04that can't be right.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07None? Johno, we've sold none.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09That can't be right, Johno, can it?

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Actually it can,

0:16:10 > 0:16:14cos marsupials can't use telephones or the Internet.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16They have no concept of money

0:16:16 > 0:16:18and they don't watch TV,

0:16:18 > 0:16:20so it's not surprising at all, really.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Well, in that case

0:16:22 > 0:16:23it won't matter

0:16:23 > 0:16:24if I do this.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29No, it won't.

0:16:29 > 0:16:30HE RETCHES

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Join us after the break

0:16:33 > 0:16:37when we'll still be wasting our lives on Marsupimarket TV.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40The one-and-only marsupial shopping channel.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43With exclusive marsupial products!

0:16:43 > 0:16:45Exclusive to marsupials.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47With me, Johno.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Canberra is Australia's capital city

0:16:57 > 0:16:58but not everyone knows that,

0:16:58 > 0:17:01including Ed Minogue.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09# I just can't get it into my head

0:17:09 > 0:17:13# Sydney's not the capital city

0:17:13 > 0:17:17# You're saying it's Canberra instead

0:17:17 > 0:17:20# I'll show you why if you permit me

0:17:20 > 0:17:24# Here we are

0:17:25 > 0:17:28# At New Parliament House

0:17:28 > 0:17:31# The seat of national power

0:17:31 > 0:17:35# Why would that be anywhere else?

0:17:35 > 0:17:38# The old Parliament House was here too

0:17:38 > 0:17:42# The Aboriginal Embassy's based near

0:17:42 > 0:17:45# If what I'm saying isn't true

0:17:45 > 0:17:49# Why would any of this stuff be here?

0:17:50 > 0:17:53# I may be

0:17:53 > 0:17:57# An Aussie national treasure

0:17:57 > 0:18:01# But there's one

0:18:01 > 0:18:04# Thing you've got to remember

0:18:04 > 0:18:08# Canberra, Sydney it isnae

0:18:08 > 0:18:10# Canberra

0:18:10 > 0:18:12# Sydney it isnae?!

0:18:12 > 0:18:15# Canberra, Sydney it isnae

0:18:15 > 0:18:18BOTH: # Canberra, Sydney it isnae

0:18:18 > 0:18:21# I can't get it into my head

0:18:21 > 0:18:25# Canberra's the capital city

0:18:25 > 0:18:28# All my life I have been misled

0:18:28 > 0:18:33# That's the point of this little ditty

0:18:33 > 0:18:36# Here we are

0:18:36 > 0:18:40# At the Institutes of Sport

0:18:40 > 0:18:43# You'd build this

0:18:43 > 0:18:46# In the capital, I'd have thought

0:18:46 > 0:18:50# So this place is called The Shine Dome

0:18:50 > 0:18:53# The Academy of Science you'll find

0:18:53 > 0:18:57# The capital is its natural home

0:18:57 > 0:19:01# The roof and walls have been combined

0:19:01 > 0:19:05# The arches frame

0:19:05 > 0:19:08# 16 different views

0:19:09 > 0:19:12# And now I'm

0:19:12 > 0:19:15# No longer confused

0:19:15 > 0:19:21# Cos I know

0:19:21 > 0:19:26# It's been Canberra for ever

0:19:26 > 0:19:29# And ever... #

0:19:29 > 0:19:35Except when it was briefly Melbourne in the early 20th century.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38BOTH: # Canberra, Sydney it isnae

0:19:38 > 0:19:41# Canberra, Sydney it isnae

0:19:41 > 0:19:43# Now I've got it into my head

0:19:43 > 0:19:47# That Canberra's the capital city

0:19:47 > 0:19:51# So let's call it a day there, please, Ed... #

0:19:51 > 0:19:53The sight of you in that dress...

0:19:53 > 0:19:55isn't pretty.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Atchoo!

0:20:09 > 0:20:11- Bless you.- Thanks.

0:20:11 > 0:20:13Remind me why we're here again.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Today's event...

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Atchoo!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Bless you again. Have this.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Thanks. Can you hold that?

0:20:21 > 0:20:22Thanks.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Oh! Oh! No, that is disgusting!

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Even for you! Aw!

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Do not hand me your bogeys!

0:20:28 > 0:20:30That's not snot, Ed.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33That's an oyster. That's why we are here in Ceduna,

0:20:33 > 0:20:34they're famous for their oysters

0:20:34 > 0:20:37and that is why we are sitting in this big oyster shell.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39- Oh, right. - Although, now you come to mention it,

0:20:39 > 0:20:41they do look quite a lot like bogeys.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Here we go again.

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Atchoo! Ah.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Look, another oyster.

0:20:47 > 0:20:48Oh, no.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50That's actually my snot this time.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52I must be allergic to you!

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Remind me not to shake her hand any time soon.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Anyway, guys, this is "snot" a good time to be messing around,

0:20:59 > 0:21:01you're here for Oysterfest,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04where the good folk of Ceduna in Southern Australia

0:21:04 > 0:21:06come to celebrate all things oystery.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Ed and Naomi, I hope you have the stomach to cope with this

0:21:13 > 0:21:15magnificent mollusc.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19I have never actually eaten an oyster before.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- Have you?- No. They don't look like the most appetising food

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- in the world, do they?- No.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27I'm sure Voiceover Man will make us eat one at some point today, though.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Of course he will! But apparently they are packed full of vitamins

0:21:31 > 0:21:33so I say let's see some of that Petrie adventurous spirit

0:21:33 > 0:21:35we all know and love. Come on!

0:21:35 > 0:21:38Bring on the oysters - rrrr!

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Mm.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Cheer up, Ed, the world's your oyster.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Here in "Oysteralia".

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Don't be put off by an oyster's crusty old exterior.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Inside the shell is soft, fleshy meat which foodies

0:21:50 > 0:21:51the world over go gaga for.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53In fact, one billion oysters

0:21:53 > 0:21:55are consumed worldwide each year!

0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Yum! I think. - You have some oysters there?

0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Yes, I do.- But not natural - you like them with cheese...

0:22:00 > 0:22:02I like them cooked.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04You've had them natural and you don't like them that way?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06It tastes like snot.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Delicious? Not!

0:22:10 > 0:22:13I have never had them before so what is the best way to eat them?

0:22:13 > 0:22:16There are so many ways of having them.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18You slurp them.

0:22:18 > 0:22:22Slurp?! I thought oysters were supposed to be posh food.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Do they taste like snot? Because they look like snot.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26SHE LAUGHS

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Sorry, I don't mean to put you off your lunch.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30They'll probably go down like it.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33Ed and Naomi, you won't be surprised to hear

0:22:33 > 0:22:36you'll be taking part in an event that requires you to eat

0:22:36 > 0:22:38a lot of oysters.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40In fact, you'll need to eat as many oysters as possible

0:22:40 > 0:22:43in the time allowed.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48Oysterfest attracts up to 6,000 people each year.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Luckily the oysters aren't shy in front of large crowds.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52That's because they have experts on hand

0:22:52 > 0:22:54with special oyster knives and safety equipment

0:22:54 > 0:22:57to "bring them out of their shells".

0:22:57 > 0:23:00It's definitely not something to try at home.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Oh! It's all over their chins!

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Look at those grey bits!

0:23:05 > 0:23:08I don't know. Are they going in our mouth in a minute?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Ed and Naomi, you will be joined

0:23:18 > 0:23:20by two expert shuckers.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25All that leaves you to do is swallow as many of these

0:23:25 > 0:23:29slippery delicacies as is possible before the bell rings.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32- Have you done this before, Gary? - Yes, I have.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33And you're good at opening oysters?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36I'm moderate. I don't win but I don't lose.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37I'm usually around third.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Take your time.

0:23:39 > 0:23:40- Take your time.- Nah!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42It's a speed race.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43HE SIGHS

0:23:43 > 0:23:44Are we going to win?

0:23:44 > 0:23:46We'll give it a good go.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49What happens if I feel a bit queasy?

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Keep swallowing, that's my best advice.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54I have some water but I'm a bit worried about throwing up

0:23:54 > 0:23:55in front of all these people.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58There's a bucket under the table for you.

0:23:58 > 0:23:59Hopefully that'll do a nice trick.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Remember that is there.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02It will hopefully go well.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05You can't put it off any longer, guys.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08- I better start shucking some oysters, then.- Here goes nothing!

0:24:11 > 0:24:13I don't know what you two are worried about.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Only oysters!

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Walking to my doom.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22Has it just made your stomach churn?

0:24:22 > 0:24:24It's a lot, isn't it?

0:24:24 > 0:24:26I don't want to do it!

0:24:26 > 0:24:28I've never had an oyster before.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Pretend you're in a posh restaurant.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Get ready - 3, 2, 1...

0:24:36 > 0:24:37Go!

0:24:40 > 0:24:42That's one down...no, it's not going down.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45He swallowed that, I think. Go on, Naomi.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Oh, no, Naomi's...oh, no, she's done it. She's swallowed it.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50I can't do 12 of those!

0:24:50 > 0:24:53I couldn't watch you do 12.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55It's like eating a rock pool.

0:24:55 > 0:24:56Ed's on his second.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59I thought that was going to come out the telly there.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Oh!

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Ah!

0:25:03 > 0:25:05I think Naomi's stopped. Oh, no,

0:25:05 > 0:25:07there she goes again.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11It's stuck halfway in, halfway out.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14It's not going in, she can't do it.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17I don't blame her. Just go home, get the plane.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Bleurgh! No!

0:25:20 > 0:25:21Don't give her that!

0:25:21 > 0:25:24You bad man. How many have they had?

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Ah!- Right, three,

0:25:30 > 0:25:32three to Ed.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34AUSTRALIAN VOICE: I've paid good money for this!

0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Ah!- Oh!

0:25:36 > 0:25:37Stop any time you want, guys.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40- It's disgusting, I can't do this, Ed.- Don't.

0:25:44 > 0:25:49Ed's super-competitive - he doesn't know how many Naomi has had.

0:25:49 > 0:25:50Argh!

0:25:50 > 0:25:52She's still on two,

0:25:52 > 0:25:55but he is going for five.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Oh, no, six.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh, Ed!

0:26:03 > 0:26:08Naomi has managed her third, Ed is on an incredible six.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11This...

0:26:11 > 0:26:12Argh!

0:26:12 > 0:26:14..is just wrong!

0:26:14 > 0:26:15His hand's going into a claw!

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Naomi can't keep it down.

0:26:20 > 0:26:21Ed's on seven!

0:26:21 > 0:26:23It comes straight back up!

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29Ed's on his eighth!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33People pay money for this!

0:26:33 > 0:26:34- How many?- Three.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36HE LAUGHS

0:26:37 > 0:26:40It looks like I can slow down, then!

0:26:40 > 0:26:43Ed's just realised Naomi is only on three.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46He's still going for a ninth!

0:26:46 > 0:26:49Why would you buy these in a restaurant?

0:26:49 > 0:26:53The feeling in my mouth is horrible.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Where's the bell? Somebody ring the bell!

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Ding!

0:26:57 > 0:26:58BELL RINGS

0:26:58 > 0:27:00- Yes!- Thank goodness.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Finally!

0:27:05 > 0:27:07You've still got one there. You missed one.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Bleurgh!

0:27:09 > 0:27:11Ah, no!

0:27:13 > 0:27:14Let's see some of it again.

0:27:14 > 0:27:19I'd do a gag here but there's been more than enough gagging.

0:27:19 > 0:27:22Congratulations, guys. Well done, Naomi, well done, Ed.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24- Thank you.- Like I said,

0:27:24 > 0:27:27you showed exactly how not to eat an oyster,

0:27:27 > 0:27:30but that was fantastic, we all appreciated that.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33Great composure, Naomi, but today, Ed,

0:27:33 > 0:27:35you won, so well done. Congratulations.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Thank you, Bruce. - You showed us how to do it.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40And now you have the prize, the world is your oyster, Ed.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43Really? In that case you can keep it. I don't want it.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47You've been watching All Over The Place: Australia!