0:00:02 > 0:00:04'Want to find out how hip Chris and I are? It doesn't get any cooler
0:00:04 > 0:00:06'than this! So keep watching!'
0:00:06 > 0:00:09I'm a better hipster than you. I'm a better hipster than him!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11If you say so, Ed(!)
0:00:11 > 0:00:14But we've got the coolest stuff in Europe in today's show!
0:00:14 > 0:00:18Johny digs out his best frock.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Iain learns a new language.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21I believe it's called purring.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23Michelle gets ejected.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24What? What?!
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Sam and Mark get hysterically historical.
0:00:27 > 0:00:28HE LAUGHS
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Naomi hails a taxi.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33And Hacker and Dodge have an identity crisis.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35We are cats.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# All over the place
0:00:40 > 0:00:42# All over the place
0:00:42 > 0:00:45# North, south, east, west All of us are on a quest
0:00:45 > 0:00:48# Me and my mate all over the place
0:00:48 > 0:00:50# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd
0:00:50 > 0:00:53# Whatever we do is strange but true
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# All over the place
0:00:55 > 0:00:57# All over the place
0:00:58 > 0:01:01# There's stuff to do in Europe that is totally ace
0:01:01 > 0:01:02# And it turns up
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# All over the place. #
0:01:07 > 0:01:10There are more than two and a half thousand houseboats
0:01:10 > 0:01:11on Amsterdam's canals!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Aw. Aw.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19- Ed, what you doing?- Oh, er...something very important
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- and work related? Quite boring, actually.- Aw, are you watching
0:01:22 > 0:01:23cute cat-based internet videos?
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Aw, look! That's what a human should do.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, Ed, I've just had a great idea -
0:01:29 > 0:01:32we make our own cute cat-based internet video, yeah?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33And we'll be famous!
0:01:33 > 0:01:37And I mean...even more famous, if it's even possible.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40That's a brilliant idea! Cos we're in Amsterdam. They've got the cat boat.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- It's a boat full of cats! - Where is it?
0:01:44 > 0:01:45It's right there!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# What's new, pussycat?... #
0:01:48 > 0:01:53Well, I don't know if internet stardom beckons, boys,
0:01:53 > 0:01:58but I can say this is the world's only floating animal sanctuary -
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Amsterdam's cat boat.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Since 1966 they've been rescuing stray cats and keeping them
0:02:03 > 0:02:06cosy until they can find them a new home.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Most cats hate water. That's because their coat isn't waterproof
0:02:10 > 0:02:12like a dog and it gets heavy when soaked.
0:02:12 > 0:02:17Ed and Iain, you have 28 seconds to find out as much as you can
0:02:17 > 0:02:18about the cat boat.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23Ed, you have Judith - she knows all about the cats here.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28Iain, you have Yolanda who knows all about the history of the boat.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Three, twee, een - gaan!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- How many cats do you have on the cat boat?- 50.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- How old is the boat?- 46 years.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43- Have you ever made cat videos and put them on the internet?- Yes, we do.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Sometimes if they're bored do you take the cats on a little
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- cruise round Amsterdam? - No.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Is this cat really cute? - Yes.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51They seem quite sinister, the cats.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Have they ever tried to rise up and take over the boat?- No.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Because we are the boss.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- How many litter trays have you got? - Ten.- Ten?- Ten.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Has anyone asked you that question before?- No!
0:03:01 > 0:03:02KLAXON BLARES
0:03:02 > 0:03:05The winner is...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Ed!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh, brilliant!
0:03:09 > 0:03:13- What have I won? - You get to feed the cats.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- Awesome. - What have I got to do?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18You have to clean their kitty litter.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Eugh!
0:03:21 > 0:03:26The cat boat re-homes over 300 cats every single year.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Grub's up, guys.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30We're having a great time over here, Iain. How you getting on?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Urgh! So wet!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Urgh!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37What you looking at, mate? Clean up after you.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39'Hurry up, I need a wee!'
0:03:39 > 0:03:44I wonder if Ed and Iain can help someone find their...
0:03:47 > 0:03:51So, Dennis, I hear you're looking for a little kitty of your own.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Actually, I'm looking for two. - BOTH: Oh!
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- I think we've got you the... - BOTH: Purr-fect match.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- We know nothing about this cat, Dennis. What do you think?- Um...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Interesting. OK, next cat.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07CAT PURRS This one's making a funny noise.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I believe it's called purring.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14- Do you mind if you have a cat that purrs, Dennis?- No, not at all.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- Ah, Dennis, where have you been? - Well, you two are useless,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21so I found these two cats which are perfect for me.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23You're more than welcome.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Another success story. Or you could say...
0:04:26 > 0:04:29BOTH: A purr-fect match.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Do you know what, mate? I'm going to admit it - I'm a convert.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Cats are much better than dogs. Can't believe I've said it.- Yeah.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I think the big, big cheese should listen to us
0:04:37 > 0:04:40millions of cat lovers on the internet.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Those CBBC dogs better watch out.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Look, Dodge, this must be the place.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49This numpty agent is about to meet two dazzlingly talented
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- celebrity dogs.- Oh, yeah.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56No more dogs! I've got dogs coming out of my ears, mate!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Which is quite painful, actually.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02The big dosh now is in cats. I'm looking for cats.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06Cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats, cats!
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Or Kylie Minogue's phone number.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11You haven't got either? Then we're done talking!
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Eight million pet cats in the UK and all I get are dirty dogs,
0:05:16 > 0:05:18mangy mutts and...
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Oh! Two petite pooches.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Did you chase a cat down here?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26No? Then clear off!
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I'm looking for a moggy megastar.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31We don't chase cats because, um...
0:05:31 > 0:05:35- we are cats.- We are? - Yes, go with it.- Oh, we are!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- Meow!- Purr!
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Oooh!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You don't look like cats.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42We're an unusual-looking breed.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- But it means we don't get chased by dogs.- Yeah, no dogs.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48And you can talk, which is quite impressive for an animal
0:05:48 > 0:05:51that can't chew. All right, cats.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53How flexible are you?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Well, we can't do Tuesdays.- No.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I mean, how flexible are your spines? Any cat worth his paws
0:05:58 > 0:06:00is going to be bending over backwards for this job.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- We are very bendy. - Are we?- Yeah, watch.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Oh-ho-ho! I can see my own bum!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Terrific! You're hired.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- Now, cough up.- Whoa, whoa, whoa! I thought you paid us?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Bezoars. - Don't be so disgusting.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19No, bezoars are hairballs.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21The part requires that you lick his fur
0:06:21 > 0:06:24and then cough up the hair in a big sticky ball of gob.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25- Oh!- Oh!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- You sicken me!- How unrefined! - Can't believe it, eh?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- It's what cats do!- Yuck!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33PHONE RINGS
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Hello?
0:06:37 > 0:06:40You're looking for two talking dogs for a Hollywood blockbuster?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43And where am I supposed to find them at such short notice?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Argh! Timewasters!
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Time for a fact -
0:06:56 > 0:07:01the first wristwatch was invented in Switzerland in 1868.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05I can't go on, Miss Boggins! We'll never find Middle-earth Man.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- You'll have to carry me.- Stand up, Ed. Look, it says we're here.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13"Hobbit Hole, Middle-Switzerland." I'm pretty sure this is the place.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15But the ring! The ring!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Did you ring ahead? It's appointment only.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Yes. We'll just knock. Relax.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Welcome, travellers. Come in.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28See? I told you this was the place.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Fair play. Oh, sorry about the smell. Haven't washed my feet for ages.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46CLANG! Ow!
0:07:46 > 0:07:48This is not a house for a tall person.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Bernd, what on Middle-earth is this place?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54It's the unique museum of Middle-earth in the world.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57What's the connection between JRR Tolkien, who wrote the books,
0:07:57 > 0:08:01- and Switzerland?- He was here in Switzerland in 1911
0:08:01 > 0:08:03and he was here ten days
0:08:03 > 0:08:08and he was very impressed and he wrote a little story for his sons.
0:08:08 > 0:08:13From this story we have The Hobbit now. And then Lord Of The Rings.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Well, I fancy "hobbit" a look around.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17This place is out of this world.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21It's massive, with 14 rooms underground!
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Bernd has re-created Bag End, the famous hobbit house
0:08:26 > 0:08:29from The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings books.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31He must have had an army of elves to help him build it!
0:08:31 > 0:08:34I wonder what an epic property like this would be worth.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41This charming Hobbit hole is a period property from 2008,
0:08:41 > 0:08:45set amidst the scenery of the Swiss Alps.
0:08:45 > 0:08:4914 well-proportioned rooms, all of which are situated underground,
0:08:49 > 0:08:53which is fabulous if you don't like natural light and good ventilation,
0:08:53 > 0:08:56and happen to be a massive Lord Of The Rings fan.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59With the added advantage of a herb garden to the front,
0:08:59 > 0:09:01and a major road at the rear of the property,
0:09:01 > 0:09:05security is enhanced by a four-metre tall Balrog effigy
0:09:05 > 0:09:08to ward off potential thieves and robbers.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12With central heating provided by the open fire in the living quarters,
0:09:12 > 0:09:16you can enjoy cosy winter dinner parties around a table,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20reciting dwarf songs with your favourite hairy friends.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23It's worth noting that people over 1.5 metres tall may develop
0:09:23 > 0:09:27severe back problems due to low ceilings in reception rooms.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Bernd is a massive Lord Of The Rings fan.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34He's built up the largest collection of Middle-earth memorabilia
0:09:34 > 0:09:39in the world. It's got everything - statues of orcs and trolls,
0:09:39 > 0:09:42priceless artwork and rare first-edition books.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Bernd even dresses the part for museum tours!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I wonder what it would take to become a Middle-earth super fan
0:09:48 > 0:09:49like Bernd.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Hello, and welcome to the gameshow that Gandalf the Grey calls magical,
0:09:58 > 0:10:01and mountain trolls everywhere call...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03HE ROARS
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Question one. We're in a hobbit hole.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Lighting's in my way.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Famous Hobbit Bilbo Baggins has a first and second cousin
0:10:11 > 0:10:16once removed either way. But what is his name?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Is it A, Frodo Baggins?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20B, Plastic Baggins?
0:10:20 > 0:10:21C, Bin Baggins?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Or D, Dave?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Uh...I'll go for...Frodo.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Yeah, it was obvious, really, wasn't it?
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Question two - it's the second question.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Bernd has lots of lovely hobbit things.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37But what's his MOST PRECIOUS... possession?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Is it A, his precious museum?
0:10:40 > 0:10:44B, his precious dragon statue?
0:10:44 > 0:10:47C, his precioussss car?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Just a normal car.
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Or D, his precioussss first edition signed copy of The hobbit?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56I'll phone a hobbit. I'll phone Bernd.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- He's not a hobbit, but it's the best I can do.- Be quick.
0:10:59 > 0:11:04- Yeah, hi, Bernd? What is your most previous possession?- It is...
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Hold on, you just hung up him!
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Yeah, I got bored. What's your answer?- Dragon statue.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Oh, it's incorrect!
0:11:10 > 0:11:15No, the correct answer was actually A, his precious museum.
0:11:15 > 0:11:20Question three. How long did it take to build this wonderful house?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Is it A, five days?
0:11:22 > 0:11:23B, five months?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25C, five years?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Or D, it depends it you're using the Hobbit calendar,
0:11:28 > 0:11:30the Elven calendar or the calendar of Men?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- I think I'll ask the audience. - Right you are.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38He's got a mood on.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Oh, uh...
0:11:40 > 0:11:44- I'll go with D.- The answer is actually C - five years.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Which means, I'm afraid, you must be hurled into the fiery pit of Mordor.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- It's the second door on the left. - What? What?!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54That's a shame. Quite liked her.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01In France they have vending machines for baguettes!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15# On the French Riviera lies the city of Cannes
0:12:15 > 0:12:18# If you like chic shops or are a film fan
0:12:18 > 0:12:21# Or love lazing on the beach with the glitterati
0:12:21 > 0:12:24# And your spending your evenings at celeb-filled parties
0:12:24 > 0:12:27# Then this is the place you'd wanna hang out
0:12:27 > 0:12:30# Though, financially, you need to have some clout
0:12:30 > 0:12:33# It's not the cheapest place, if you know what I mean
0:12:33 > 0:12:36# It's an A-list paradise, the place to be seen
0:12:36 > 0:12:38# And dressed like this we're hard to miss
0:12:38 > 0:12:42# But we have one question and it goes like this
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- BOTH:- # Can you cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:12:44 > 0:12:45# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48# You can in Cannes? I think I can cancan, oh, can
0:12:48 > 0:12:50# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:12:50 > 0:12:51# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53# You cancan in Cannes? I think I can
0:12:53 > 0:12:56# This is the building that holds the film festival
0:12:56 > 0:12:59# As setup rhymes go, Ed, that's really the best-ival
0:12:59 > 0:13:02# It's hosted premieres since 1982
0:13:02 > 0:13:05# Let's nip inside and get a sneak preview
0:13:05 > 0:13:08# When all the movie stars descend on the town
0:13:08 > 0:13:11# They famously put the red carpet down
0:13:11 > 0:13:14# Wow, imagine that parade of top-notch actors
0:13:14 > 0:13:17# Shame the building looks like a nuclear rector
0:13:17 > 0:13:18# Never mind that
0:13:18 > 0:13:22# Before we go there's just one thing we'd like to know
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- BOTH:- # Can you cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29# You can in Cannes? I think I can cancan, oh, can
0:13:29 > 0:13:31# Can you cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:13:31 > 0:13:32# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35# You cancan in Cannes? I think I can
0:13:35 > 0:13:37# This is known as the Allee de Star
0:13:37 > 0:13:40# Like the Walk of Fame on Hollywood Boulevard
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Your handprint means you're immortalised
0:13:43 > 0:13:45# Oh, I can't find my name
0:13:45 > 0:13:46# You sound surprised
0:13:46 > 0:13:49# Let's hang out on the beach, we'll catch some rays
0:13:49 > 0:13:52# Walk la Croisette that curves round the bay
0:13:52 > 0:13:55# Just people watching you'll see some sights
0:13:55 > 0:13:58# Though we're the only ones here in man-sized tights
0:13:58 > 0:14:01# I'm feeling self-conscious, how about you?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04# If we're turning heads there's just one thing to do
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- BOTH:- # Can you cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11# You can in Cannes? I think I can cancan, oh, can
0:14:11 > 0:14:12# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:12 > 0:14:16# You cancan in Cannes Cannes? You cancan in Cannes? I think I can
0:14:16 > 0:14:19# This area of Cannes is called Le Suquet
0:14:19 > 0:14:22# A small fishing village back in the day
0:14:22 > 0:14:25# Its streets are steeped in history
0:14:25 > 0:14:28# So all together now, one, two, three... #
0:14:28 > 0:14:29BELL TOLLS
0:14:29 > 0:14:31CRICKETS CHIRP
0:14:31 > 0:14:33DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Oh. Just us, then.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39- BOTH:- # Can you cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:39 > 0:14:40# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:40 > 0:14:43# You can in Cannes? I think I can cancan, oh, can
0:14:43 > 0:14:44# You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:44 > 0:14:47# You cancan in Cannes Cannes? You cancan in Cannes Cannes?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50# This is the last time that you make me wear a dress
0:14:50 > 0:14:53# You've had a great time and if only you'd confess
0:14:53 > 0:14:56# I'll get my own back on you, just you wait and see
0:14:56 > 0:14:59# There is no way that you can pull a prank on me
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- # Can- Can't- Can- Can't - Can- Can't- Can
0:15:01 > 0:15:04# Cannes! #
0:15:07 > 0:15:09It's hard being a postman in Venice,
0:15:09 > 0:15:12as people don't write street names on the address.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Uh, excuse me! Mr Gondolier!
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I'd like a ride in your lovely gondola, please!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Hello?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Yeah, you, on the boat, with the big stick.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31SHE WHISTLES
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Ahem.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35It's a good job you're here(!)
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Yeah, all right. No-one likes a show-off.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40And no-one likes a sulk, Ed.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Venice is unusual in that the city was built on water.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47So it has canals instead of roads.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50This means that Venetians can't use cars and buses to get about -
0:15:50 > 0:15:52they have to use boats -
0:15:52 > 0:15:56and the most famous Venetian boat is a gondola.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01..which has high pointy bits at each end.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04It's steered by a Gondolier who stands at the back
0:16:04 > 0:16:09and uses just one mega long oar to paddle the Gondola from A to B.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16This is Alessio, a gondolier with over 20 years' experience.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20So, Alessio, can anybody be a gondolier?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24Yeah, it's a tradition in families. By generation.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Oh, right.- Very difficult to drive a gondola.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- OK, so you just have to be in the right family?- Yeah.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33It's 95% of the gondolier is family.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- 95%?- Yes.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38It's very difficult to drive a gondola.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- It sounds like it's easy. - Gondola is 11 metres.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Yeah, it's a big boat.- It's many hours, many days of experience.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Oh, so it's not that easy, then?
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Did you know that for 900 years all gondoliers were men,
0:16:51 > 0:16:55and only the first female started in 2010?
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Did you know that?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59I don't think she did.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Are we the first people to come on your gondolier wearing life jackets?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04You are the first people, yes.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09- Not the last. We're trendsetters. - Yes.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- In a few years everyone's going to be doing this.- You are number one.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Safety first.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16It's not that we don't trust you.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I don't trust him.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Hello, tourists!- Hello!
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Did you know that in the 17th century there was 10,000
0:17:25 > 0:17:27of these on Venice's canals?
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- I suppose I should have a crack at this.- And me.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33HE LAUGHS
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Like Spider-Man...
0:17:35 > 0:17:37THEY LAUGH
0:17:37 > 0:17:41# La, la, la-la-la. #
0:17:41 > 0:17:43# La, la, la-la. #
0:17:43 > 0:17:46We're going round in a circle. is that what you're trying to do?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Yes.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52- How many points?- Five. - Five? that's not bad.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Right, Naomi, you're next.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Can you beat Petrie's pathetic 5 out of 10?
0:17:57 > 0:18:01What you talking about, Ed? It's easy. There we go, look.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Brava.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- Easy-peasy.- Brava.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07So how many points?
0:18:07 > 0:18:12- How many points?- For me. - Seven.- Whoo!- Oh, what?
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Only you, not Spider-Man. Spider-Man five.
0:18:16 > 0:18:197 out of 10 - that makes Naomi the better gondolier.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Definitely something to shout about.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Did you know that's where the famous Venetian merchant and explorer
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Marco Polo used to flog his stuff
0:18:29 > 0:18:32when he came back from his adventures around the world?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Is it really?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Yeah. Well, maybe not that one. Might have been down there.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Yo, I'm back!
0:18:41 > 0:18:46FANFARE
0:18:46 > 0:18:49The following is based on the book The Travels Of Marco Polo
0:18:49 > 0:18:51by Marco Polo, which is all about the wonders Marco Polo discovered
0:18:51 > 0:18:54in China. BUT as we've only got Marco Polo's word for it,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56no-one can be sure if it's true or not.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Of course it's true!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01The voyages I've experienced, the wonders I've seen.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Never mind all that, Polo.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I'm the head honcho here in Venice, so where are all the jewels
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- and gold coins you promised me? - Pah! Who needs gold
0:19:08 > 0:19:10when you've got...coal?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12FANFARE
0:19:12 > 0:19:14But I wanted shiny.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Are you kidding? This is the fuel of the future.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It unleashes a fearsome inferno.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Plus it lights up into pretty colours and that.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Not impressed? OK. How about this? Something more amazing.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Spectacles!
0:19:27 > 0:19:31They give your eyes the vision of a hawk. Plus you can do this.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Always gets a laugh. - Oh, hilarious(!)
0:19:35 > 0:19:39I'll tell you what I can't see - my jewels and my coins.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42LOW NOTE
0:19:42 > 0:19:43Funny you should say that,
0:19:43 > 0:19:47- because I actually swapped all of those for these!- Say what?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51But the only goodies I wanted from China were the jewels and the coins,
0:19:51 > 0:19:55- you fool.- Oh, chill your boots! That's paper money.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58It's far safer to be carrying around than precious jewels and coins.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00That one's worth a fortune.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Was worth a fortune. Awkward!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06WIND HOWLS
0:20:06 > 0:20:09I guess I'll pop back in another 24 years.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11HE YELLS
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Germany is the biggest exporter of cheese in the world!
0:20:27 > 0:20:31I love Berlin for this, Chris. It's full of loads of derelict warehouses
0:20:31 > 0:20:32where you can have a good old party.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34MUSIC: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
0:20:34 > 0:20:37They've put a band in that one. Big crowd in there.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39# ..love, love, I want your love... #
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Now, where's the Hipster Cup?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I think it's...this way.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Actually, I think it might be this way.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51No, follow me. I'm like a cool-magnet.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55The Hipster Cup is a gathering of super trendy people,
0:20:55 > 0:20:56known as hipsters.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03They gather in Berlin each year to celebrate all things hipsterish,
0:21:03 > 0:21:06and compete to see who's the hippest of the hip!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08And guess who's competing this year?
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Only All Over The Place's Trendy Twins, Ed and Chris!
0:21:11 > 0:21:14THIS we need a photo of!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I've noticed this is a hipster thing, isn't it? Old technology.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Old technology used in these times...yeah, maybe.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24# Oh, oh, shake it!
0:21:24 > 0:21:27# Shake it like a... # Badly developed photo.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- Hasn't come out at all, has it? - No.- Oh, dear.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34It'll take more than fake moustaches to blend in with the hipsters, guys.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Check out those shirts!
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- What do you think of this one? - You're having a giraffe, aren't you?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Very good. Very good. - Thank you.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- You should try this one. - Why?- It's brand-moo.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48THEY CHUCKLE
0:21:48 > 0:21:49Sorry.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53OK, guys, show us your new hipster looks!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Oooh! Pretty sharp!
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Nearly time for the Hipster Cup. But before the games begin,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02the hipsters need their designer coffees!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- Oh, excuse me? - Yes, how can I help you?
0:22:05 > 0:22:09Can I have a skinny macchiato latte, please?
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- OK. What can I bring for you? - Could I get a...
0:22:14 > 0:22:19An upside-down Columbian foam-free blend, please. Fair trade.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Yeah, thank you. - I'd like to change my order.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26Can I get an un-unfair trade cat milk frappe, please?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Oh, in a dirty cup. - In a dirty cup.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Thinking of the environment.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34- Oh, and can you make it taste like a winter's day?- Like a winter's day?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I'll try my best.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Now that you've coffeed-up, it's time for the competition!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Best of three events. First up...
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I'm just going to do some practice.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Ah! No, no, no!
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- Not with mine. - No?- No.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Hipster Rule number one, Chris - always wear a belt.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56This is what we need - a referee. Genuine referee.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58How do we play this game?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01You play this game with one jean. And the winners...
0:23:01 > 0:23:06- Who pulls the furthest?- First over the line.- OK.- The red line.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08And then you are the winner of Skinny Jeans.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- So what do we need to start? - Three persons.
0:23:11 > 0:23:12Can you help me win a tug of war game?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- You want me to tug with you?- Yeah!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- I'll join you. - And your friend?- Yeah.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Do you want to join me in a tug of war?- Sure.- Yes!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Ah, yeah, sure, why not?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- Do you want to help me win a tug of war game against my mate?- Yes.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- You going to join my team? - Yes.- Brilliant!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29OK, guys, I think we need a good, firm anchor.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- You're the muscliest, you're going on the end of the jeans.- I got it.
0:23:32 > 0:23:37- OK, and... Yeah, you're quite a stringy specimen like me.- I am.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42I think we better go up the front. Good tactics. Good hipster tactics.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45I have literally no idea how to win this game.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- But I'm hoping you guys do. - Pull.- Just pull?- Yeah.- Oh.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52That'll do it. OK, good hustle. Let's do this! Yeah! Come on!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Never in the history of Hipsters has there been
0:23:55 > 0:23:57this much anticipation for an event.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00The crowd would be going wild right now...
0:24:00 > 0:24:03if they weren't too cool, that is.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04OK.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Hang on, hang on, two hands?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09You're using two hands!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12If you can fit two hands on go for it!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Get them over that red line.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19WHISTLE Yes!
0:24:19 > 0:24:22I've just won the most stupid, clever war I've ever taken part in.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Well done, Team Ed!
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Two Hands Petrie over there!
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Oh, come on, Chris. You've got to HAND it to him.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35So Ed pulls ahead by winning the first round.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Back to the Hipster cafe for a bit, I think.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Have you heard this one before?
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- INDISTINCT MUSIC PLAYS - Oh, yeah.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Yeah, I was listening to that five minutes ago,
0:24:45 > 0:24:48but I stopped listening to the track halfway through and it's now
0:24:48 > 0:24:50so two minutes ago it's embarrassing.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Yeah, I get your vibe, man. I haven't listened to a whole song since 2007.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Honestly, guys, you're SO competitive!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Talking of which, don't we have a competition to get on with?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Event number two - it's...
0:25:07 > 0:25:09What have I got to do for the Hipster Glasses Shot Put?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11You need the horn-rimmed glasses.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Stand on the red line and throw as hard as you can.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- That's it?- That simple.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19WHISTLE
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Good effort, Ed.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25You've managed to get it most of the way down the field!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Is that all right? The crowd think that's OK.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31WHISTLE
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Mmmm, Chris, not bad, either.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43Is it good enough? I don't think it is.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Oh, Chris.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48I want to win just so he doesn't do his smug voice.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49SMUGLY: Oh, Chris.
0:25:49 > 0:25:54They've thrown their glasses, but how are they going to measure up?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58And the winner of this competition is Ed.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02Hooray! I am the best at throwing glasses away.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Do you mind throwing these away?
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Yeah, chuck those glasses away, Ed.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09They're SO out of fashion now.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Not like facial hair.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16- Like your beard.- Oh, thanks. - Well, I DID like your beard.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18SO two minutes ago now.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20It's all about the half-beard now.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22What?! How did you do that?
0:26:22 > 0:26:24I'm a better hipster than you.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I'm a better hipster than him!
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I am a better hipster than him!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Are you doing this? - We stopped doing that a week ago.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Never mind, Ed. I'll tell you what we ARE doing this week -
0:26:37 > 0:26:38the Hipster Cup!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Time for event number three...
0:26:43 > 0:26:45So how does this work?
0:26:45 > 0:26:49You take Jute Bag, put both hands on it,
0:26:49 > 0:26:54put the boots inside and then you may jump, jump, jump this way.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57OK, so it's like a tiny-sack sack race?
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Yeah, yeah. But difficult.
0:27:00 > 0:27:04WHISTLE What, we start...? Oh! Ah!
0:27:04 > 0:27:06It's so hard!
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Come on, guys, it's not THAT difficult!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11My pants are falling down!
0:27:11 > 0:27:12THEY LAUGH
0:27:12 > 0:27:15See what I mean about wearing a belt, Chris?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Go!
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Why?!
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Yay, well done, Ed. Not so well done, Chris.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Come on!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28And the winner all over the place of the Hipster Cup is Ed.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Thank you.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34Actually, I don't want this. Wining is so ten minutes ago.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41You've been watching All Over The Place Europe!