Gnomes, Lighthouses and Bed Racing!

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04Join your CBBC mates on the UK's strangest road trip.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07Ed and Holly discover there's no place like gnome,

0:00:07 > 0:00:10London's having a hairy day, Joe's trapped underground...

0:00:10 > 0:00:12Hello? Hello?!

0:00:12 > 0:00:17Barney visits a house in the clouds, and we're off bed racing.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21# All over the place

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# All over the place

0:00:24 > 0:00:26# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Me and my mates, all over the place!

0:00:28 > 0:00:31# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

0:00:31 > 0:00:34# Whatever we do is strange but true!

0:00:34 > 0:00:36# All over the place

0:00:36 > 0:00:39# All over the place

0:00:39 > 0:00:43# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- # But it turns up... - # All over the place! #

0:00:46 > 0:00:49I'm looking forward to this. I've never been somewhere named after me.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52- What, Knaresborough? - No, not Knaresborough.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- The River Nidd? - I'm not called Nidd, am I?

0:00:54 > 0:00:56"Oh, hello, I'm Mr Nidd."

0:00:56 > 0:00:58You're not called Mother Shipton either.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01No, but we're going to Old Mother Shipton's "Petrie-fying" well.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05It's not "Petrie-fying", Ed. It's pronounced "pet-rifying".

0:01:05 > 0:01:07I prefer to pronounce it "Petrie-fying".

0:01:07 > 0:01:09What is a petrifying well, anyway?

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Well, it's not a "Petrie".

0:01:19 > 0:01:23And you could say it's dripping with the stuff.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Wait for it, wait for it!

0:01:38 > 0:01:41Things like teddy bears, masks, ice skates...

0:01:41 > 0:01:43more teddy bears, teapots...

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Yeah, basically anything that can be hung up on a line.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Honestly, Holly, he did some terrible things, this bear.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54- He deserves to be punished. - Where are you going to hang him?

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Just up there.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59He stole all the jam from the teddy bear's picnic.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01It's not really magic. What happens is...

0:02:10 > 0:02:11Three months?

0:02:11 > 0:02:13That's ages!

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Well, I guess it is worth the wait.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17ED WHISTLES

0:02:17 > 0:02:22- So we're just going to stay here for the whole of that time, yeah?- Yep.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24- What happens if we need the l...? - Uh uh uh.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27- What happens if we...?- Uh uh uh.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31- I think I might go and look at the wishing well.- Yeah, whatever.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35This is not just any wishing well.

0:02:55 > 0:03:00I bet Holly's thinking, "I wish Ed's breath didn't smell so much!"

0:03:01 > 0:03:03What did you wish for?

0:03:03 > 0:03:07Um, er... I wished for it to be three months' time

0:03:07 > 0:03:10- so that we could see the teddy bear turn to stone.- Good idea.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15And, as if by magic, fluffy bear turns to stone bear.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Hey, Holly, look at that.- Wow!

0:03:19 > 0:03:20The teddy bear's been petrified.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24My wish came true! Three months have passed and it's turned to stone.

0:03:24 > 0:03:25Wow!

0:03:25 > 0:03:28It's a shame Mother Shipton couldn't improve your breath.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29What?

0:03:29 > 0:03:31'If only Mother Shipton was alive today,

0:03:31 > 0:03:34'she could've looked into my future.'

0:03:34 > 0:03:37In this cave so warm and snuggly,

0:03:37 > 0:03:41here I sit, so old and ugly.

0:03:41 > 0:03:46Predicting futures so precise, and they rhyme which is...

0:03:47 > 0:03:49..nice.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Not one of my best ones but it'll do.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Hello!- Oh!

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Why didn't you knock?

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Because this is a cave. You don't have a door.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Don't be picky. What do you want?

0:04:01 > 0:04:03I've heard you can predict the future.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05I knew you were going to say that.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Prove it.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09And that.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13I don't need to prove it. I've been predicting the future since 1500.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15What, three o'clock?

0:04:15 > 0:04:18No, 1500 the year! Not the time.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Well, can you predict my future, then?

0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Piece of cake.- Go on, then.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Just did it. Piece of cake.

0:04:25 > 0:04:29You will bring me a piece of cake.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31Er... No, I won't.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33Oh. Oh, that's a shame. I like cake.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37I'm starting to think you can't actually read the future.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39I knew you were going to say that.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Mmm, that Devonshire tea was delicious.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Yeah, the jam, the cream...

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Mm mm mm!

0:04:57 > 0:04:58FOGHORN

0:04:58 > 0:05:02- Ed! That's disgusting.- What?

0:05:02 > 0:05:03FOGHORN

0:05:03 > 0:05:07And again! Have you got no manners? And in front of me as well!

0:05:07 > 0:05:11- Seriously, seriously, that wasn't me.- What was it, then?- I don't know.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Maybe it was that.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20It was designed by...

0:05:20 > 0:05:22you've guessed it... someone called Smeaton.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Ed and Gemma!

0:05:29 > 0:05:34You have 38 seconds to learn as much as you can about Smeaton's Tower.

0:05:34 > 0:05:38Ed, you have Nigel, who knows all about history.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41And, Gemma, you have Ken, who knows all about lighthouses.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47Three, two, one, go!

0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Hello! I've got loads of questions about the lighthouse.- OK, go.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Why is it called a lighthouse? It looks really heavy to me.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57- How big is this thing? - This one's 80 feet tall.

0:05:57 > 0:06:01- 80 feet? What's that in metres? - It's about 26 metres.- I'm impressed.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Is it open to the public?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05It is open to the public and has been since 1884.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Exactly what's it made out of? - It's made out of granite.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11- What's granite? - Granite is a very hard stone.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14- What's it doing here?- It was rebuilt on Plymouth Hoe in 1884.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17- What's the exact name of the red and the white paints?- Don't know.- Ah!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Why is it red and white?

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Lighthouses were painted red and white in the 1860s

0:06:22 > 0:06:24- so they would work as a day mark... - STOP!

0:06:24 > 0:06:26..as well as being seen at night, when lit.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Thanks for that.- Thank you. Very good.- You think?- I think so.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh, let's see how Gemma did.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35And the person who found out the most facts is...

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Ed!

0:06:38 > 0:06:41There's nobody more surprised than us, Gemma.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44What a great-looking lighthouse.

0:07:05 > 0:07:10Imagine you were a lighthouse keeper and didn't know it had moved!

0:07:15 > 0:07:17- I've got a game we can play!- What?

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Riddles!

0:07:19 > 0:07:24- OK.- There was a man, and he lived in a big, tall, lonely house.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27He went to bed, but before he went to bed, he turned off all the lights.

0:07:27 > 0:07:32When he woke up in the morning, he'd been unexpectedly sacked!

0:07:32 > 0:07:33Why?

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Answer my riddle and be quick. I need a pee.

0:07:37 > 0:07:38Is it because...

0:07:38 > 0:07:40he lived in a lighthouse

0:07:40 > 0:07:45and when he turned off the lights, he caused a boat to crash and sink?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Ha-ha! No... Oh, yes.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Well done.

0:07:49 > 0:07:53And he was only trying to reduce his carbon footprint.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56The environment, safe sailing. You just can't win.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58You really need to get out more.

0:07:58 > 0:08:03Impossible. We'd be swept off the Eddystone Rocks by a giant wave

0:08:03 > 0:08:05and into the icy waters.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Actually, I think we should go out.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Also, I don't like getting my hair wet, so it's not an option.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Look, let's just stand outside for a second

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- and breathe some of that fresh sea air.- OK, let's go outside.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20But we'll be swept away! Swept away into the depths.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Swept away into the depths of the...

0:08:23 > 0:08:25..green... The sea!

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- How long's it been like this? - For about 128 years.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33No, I mean how long since it was evaporated by global warming?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36I warned them all! You fools!

0:08:36 > 0:08:41Turn off your lights! Turn off your lights!

0:08:41 > 0:08:44It's not a good place to be if you're scared of small places.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Small but perfectly formed, you'll find.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53I do like the old, er...

0:08:53 > 0:08:56coat hooks. Or could they be picture hooks or something?

0:08:56 > 0:08:58No, no, these are for the braces.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00The lighthouse was designed to sway in high winds

0:09:00 > 0:09:03but when they first built it, it moved a bit too much.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06So, for the first few years living here, it would really rock around,

0:09:06 > 0:09:11so they had these here and put iron strips on to keep the tower solid.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19I'll follow you up here but I'll keep a distance.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22What? It's all right. I didn't have curry last night.

0:09:22 > 0:09:26This is the kitchen. This is where they spent most of their time.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Oh, right. So where's the dishwasher, then?

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Er... You've got a lead-lined sink and a stove. That's your lot.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I wonder if they sent out for takeaways?

0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Where are the beds? - Ah-ha! They are right there.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42They're called cot beds.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I quite like the idea of hardened lighthouse keepers sleeping in cots.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Oh, yeah, weird. Oh, yes.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Oi! Argh! Ow!

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Maybe you can get a better look from inside.

0:09:53 > 0:09:54Oh, Gemma!

0:09:54 > 0:09:56He-he-he!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Oi, this isn't funny! - Ah, there you are.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Have a nice sleep, did we, Petrie?

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- To be fair, that was quite funny. - Ha-ha! Right, hold onto this.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05We're in the most important part of the lighthouse.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07The bell-ringing section?

0:10:07 > 0:10:10No, the lantern. We'll lower the chandelier and change the candles.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Every half hour, they'd have to check on the candles

0:10:13 > 0:10:15and trim the wick if it got too long,

0:10:15 > 0:10:18cos it burned down so quickly, or replace the whole candle.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21More when it was someone's birthday.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25- I know this is a lighthouse but it's getting quite dark!- Yeah.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28- I think we should go home. - Come on, then.- Oh, hang on.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31I think I just felt it move again. Stay very, very still.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33FOGHORN

0:10:33 > 0:10:37Oh, Ed! Seriously, mate, that is not cool! Ohh!

0:10:37 > 0:10:40I told you, it wasn't me!

0:10:40 > 0:10:42It clearly wasn't me!

0:10:42 > 0:10:43You know it wasn't me, don't you?

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Yeah, we do, Ed. We know it was a foghorn really.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48But now we're off to Cheshire.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58Oh, come on, Ed. There's got to be something better to do in Cheshire!

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Joe, you never know what treasure you'll find with one of these.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04CRASH!

0:11:04 > 0:11:06What have you found?

0:11:06 > 0:11:07Well, Joe, Ed's found...

0:11:09 > 0:11:12..which has nothing to do with golf.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17..if aliens had invaded the UK.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Only joking.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22They would actually run the country from here...

0:11:27 > 0:11:30I thought that, as I was the first person to set foot in here,

0:11:30 > 0:11:33- I'd get first dibs on rooms. - No, no, that's not fair.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- We should...toss a coin. - No, come on. I want this one.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Hello, hello! Hello? Anybody there?

0:11:38 > 0:11:43- Ballistic Missile Early Warning System.- What does that mean?

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I don't know but it doesn't sound very good.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Hold up, look at that. There's a nice red button.

0:11:48 > 0:11:49ALARM

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- Why did you do that?!- I thought it would help! It's a red button.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Why are you going round sticking your fingers into things?

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Just leave them alone. Are you like this with your...?

0:11:58 > 0:11:59Oh!

0:12:03 > 0:12:05That's because, up until now,

0:12:05 > 0:12:07there were no Joe Swashes down here pressing red buttons.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10- Arrest him, officer. He's been pressing buttons.- It wasn't me.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12No, no, no, I'm not a policeman.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14I'm the director here. I look after the place.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Is it still operational?

0:12:16 > 0:12:20No, it stopped working in 1993 and became a museum.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22What is there down here that can keep people alive?

0:12:22 > 0:12:24The walls are thick concrete.

0:12:24 > 0:12:28They're over a metre thick and protected against nuclear blast,

0:12:28 > 0:12:31so that would enable them to survive a nuclear attack.

0:12:33 > 0:12:39The bunker is 50 metres underground, which is about 32 Kylie Minogues.

0:12:39 > 0:12:44Wow, Ed, this room looks like it's important. Do you know what it does?

0:12:44 > 0:12:46With my extensive knowledge I've learnt in the last hour,

0:12:46 > 0:12:48this was the early-warning room.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52They had four minutes to tell people about the bomb leaving, say...

0:12:52 > 0:12:56I don't know...Russia, to being detonated over the country.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59So, for a room that's so important, why have they given it such

0:12:59 > 0:13:01a silly name, as in Bikini?

0:13:01 > 0:13:03That's just some random word they chose

0:13:03 > 0:13:06- for the warning.- Just a random word?

0:13:06 > 0:13:08It wasn't something they actually wanted you to do?

0:13:08 > 0:13:10No, Joe. You don't have to wear a bikini!

0:13:10 > 0:13:13That would be quite silly, if someone...

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- put a bikini on, wouldn't it?- Yeah.

0:13:15 > 0:13:20Let's pretend we've got four minutes. What message do you want to get out?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23Hello, do you deliver in four minutes?

0:13:23 > 0:13:26I'll be stuck in a secret nuclear bunker for three months.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28How much curry can you fit in the car?

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Could I have a load of sweets, please?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33You don't think it's a good idea to eat curry in a confined space?

0:13:33 > 0:13:37Well, the bunker did have its own air and water supply, Ed, so you can

0:13:37 > 0:13:40order just about anything you like, although good luck to

0:13:40 > 0:13:42the delivery boy finding a secret location.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46The bunker was large enough for 120 people to live there

0:13:46 > 0:13:48for three months.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Another communications room.- Yeah.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53- This place goes on and on, doesn't it?- It's massive.

0:13:53 > 0:13:58Do you know how big it is? It's approximately 3,500 square metres.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Very informative.- It is. - Just think of all

0:14:00 > 0:14:03the millions they spent on this place and they never even needed it.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05We'd better go before they shut the bunker doors.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08I don't want to get shut in here with you for three months.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15Do you keep a collection in your garden? If you do,

0:14:15 > 0:14:19you might like what this grown-up collects in Devon.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23Ed, check it out!

0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Oh, that is a good one. - Ssh, keep your voice down! We don't

0:14:27 > 0:14:31want to scare it off. I've seen them in captivity but never in the wild.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34There's one over there without a beard and it's walking around.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Ed, that isn't a gnome. That's Ann Atkin.

0:14:38 > 0:14:4432 years collecting, over 2000 in the collection.

0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Hello there. - Hello. I think I "gnome" your name.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Is it Ann Atkin?

0:14:55 > 0:14:58It is, and you must be Ed and Holly.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59We've just been admiring your gnomes.

0:14:59 > 0:15:03- They're lovely. Can we have a look? - Uh-uh, wait a minute. Gnome hats?

0:15:03 > 0:15:06- Right, have to wear these, do we? - Everyone has to wear them, do they?

0:15:06 > 0:15:09It's embarrassing for the gnomes if you don't.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11We wouldn't want to offend them.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13I think it's a bit late for that. Look, their cheeks are scarlet!

0:15:13 > 0:15:17Now, there are three different types of gnomes - worker gnomes...

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Not getting much done there. Oh, leisure gnomes.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22My kind of gnome, lying about.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Then there's the ones that like nothing more than

0:15:24 > 0:15:29reading a good book and watching a classic movie like Gnome Alone!

0:15:29 > 0:15:31That'll be the culture gnomes.

0:15:34 > 0:15:35What's your favourite one?

0:15:35 > 0:15:38A rather ugly one, really, but I'm very fond of him.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40That's Siegfried there. He's my favourite.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44Is this where you grow your gnomes? They're all green.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47These one have been here for 33 years, and I like them cos

0:15:47 > 0:15:51you have to look twice to see if it's a gnome or a tree.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54- So how do you get these gnomes?- Most of the gnomes in the woods, we made.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Really?- Yeah. - That's very kind of you, to make

0:15:57 > 0:15:59the gnomes and then set them free.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Holly, there's a girl. - I thought it was men "gnomely".

0:16:04 > 0:16:09- No.- Oh, bad!- And there's a bus stop as well. I haven't seen a

0:16:09 > 0:16:12bus come past all day.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Well, you haven't seen one all day.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17I haven't seen one in 32 years.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19If the bus did turn up, where would they be going anyway?

0:16:19 > 0:16:21Gnome-body knows!

0:16:21 > 0:16:23This doesn't make any sense any more.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26- That was a better one. - Did you used to have a lot of fish?

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Cos they like fishing, don't they?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Fish are usually pretty safe cos they usually come

0:16:30 > 0:16:32with their own fish.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36The Museum of Phe-gnome-enally Good Facts. Eh?!

0:16:36 > 0:16:40I thought they'd have run out of gnome puns by now.

0:16:40 > 0:16:44Gnomes have existed in folklore for centuries

0:16:44 > 0:16:48but it was only 170 years ago that the first garden gnomes came along.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52The first one was made in Germany by Phillip Griebel,

0:16:52 > 0:16:56but were brought over to the UK in 1847 by Sir Charles Isham, who

0:16:56 > 0:17:00put them in his garden. One of Charles Isham's original gnomes

0:17:00 > 0:17:03is now worth more than a million pounds.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Back in Germany, the family of Phillip Griebel

0:17:06 > 0:17:09continue to make gnomes to this day, which means this pricey little fella

0:17:09 > 0:17:14now has quite a few million cousins.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Hmm. I was just thinking, what would it

0:17:19 > 0:17:22be like to be a gnome for the day?

0:17:22 > 0:17:26- Have you caught anything?- No. You?

0:17:26 > 0:17:28No.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Been here long?

0:17:30 > 0:17:34- Er, what time is it?- Four o'clock. - Four o'clock. So I've been here...

0:17:34 > 0:17:37one, one and a half, two...

0:17:37 > 0:17:3812 years. You?

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Same. Same.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I'm starting to think there might not be any fish in this pond.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Well, I think you might be right.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48But that's actually a blessing in disguise.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53- You reckon?- Yes. Yes, I do, because think about it. We're 20cm tall.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56If we catch a fish, they're massive.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59We catch one, we're in trouble.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Maybe we should give fishing up.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05Well, I would but what else are we going to do?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07I could write that opera I've been talking about.

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Or I could learn to jet-ski. Borrow Frank's.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13What? Frank hasn't got a jet-ski.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18I stand corrected.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38# Way back in the year of 1923

0:18:38 > 0:18:42# There was a gentleman named Stuart Ogilvie

0:18:42 > 0:18:46# He built a water tower for the town of Thorpeness

0:18:46 > 0:18:50# With a tank that held 50,000 gallons of the stuff...more or less

0:18:50 > 0:18:54# So that the tower didn't stick out like a sore thumb

0:18:54 > 0:18:57# Something remarkable clearly had to be done

0:18:57 > 0:19:02# To make it look quite nice for people who lived near

0:19:02 > 0:19:04# He decided to disguise it as a very tall house

0:19:04 > 0:19:06# What a strange idea

0:19:06 > 0:19:11# This house is in the middle of the sky

0:19:11 > 0:19:14# This house is over 20 metres high

0:19:14 > 0:19:18# This house, from the bottom to the top

0:19:18 > 0:19:23# This house, there's a 70-foot drop

0:19:23 > 0:19:25# A poet, Mrs Mason, lived beneath the tank

0:19:25 > 0:19:30# And for its present name, it's her we have to thank

0:19:30 > 0:19:34# When she clapped eyes on it, she proudly said out loud

0:19:34 > 0:19:37# I hereby christen this place The House In The Clouds

0:19:37 > 0:19:42# The local villagers were really very pleased

0:19:42 > 0:19:46# To them it looked just like a cottage in the trees

0:19:46 > 0:19:49# Architecturally it's what's known as a folly

0:19:49 > 0:19:51# Which is a nice way of saying

0:19:51 > 0:19:54# That the bloke who built it was probably off his trolley

0:19:54 > 0:19:58# This house standing proudly on the ground

0:19:58 > 0:20:02# This house can be seen from miles around

0:20:02 > 0:20:06# This house There is nowhere else the same

0:20:06 > 0:20:11# This house So look out all low-flying planes

0:20:17 > 0:20:19# It's now been renovated, the tank is long gone

0:20:19 > 0:20:21# Although it did survive a hit from a bomb

0:20:21 > 0:20:23# You can rent it now Come for a holiday

0:20:23 > 0:20:26# Cos you're above the clouds It's always a nice day

0:20:26 > 0:20:30# This house There is nowhere else compares

0:20:30 > 0:20:34# This house Because most of it's upstairs

0:20:34 > 0:20:38# This house Think you've probably got the drift

0:20:38 > 0:20:41# This house could really do with a lift. #

0:20:51 > 0:20:53If you find yourself in Kent and you

0:20:53 > 0:20:56need to check the time, why not try this?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59The Chatham sundial.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02Can't say it's proved much use to me.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Maybe you need to visit on a summer's day.

0:21:04 > 0:21:09I could come back in July. That's the sunniest month in England, you know.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12Hottest day ever recorded in the UK was in Kent.

0:21:12 > 0:21:1438.5 degrees.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16That's as hot as the sun!

0:21:16 > 0:21:22Well, it is if you multiply it by 156 times.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27This may not be the best country

0:21:27 > 0:21:29to live in if you like the sun.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31But some sun's better than none.

0:21:31 > 0:21:36Imagine what it would be like if there wasn't any sun at all.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39It would be great if there was no sun, then we would all live

0:21:39 > 0:21:43on the moon and all the aliens would get shipped back the Earth.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47Day would be night cos the moon would be

0:21:47 > 0:21:49brighter, so then at night it would be daytime.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53They're going to build cars that are rockets so you can just

0:21:53 > 0:21:55drive up to space, have a wee turn, then come back.

0:21:55 > 0:22:00Or they can just make massive escalators to the moon.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Or you could just eat lots of carrots.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05You'd eat cheese cos the moon's made out of cheese.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09Moon cheese.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17We're in Knaresborough which is in Yorkshire.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20Yeah, and you better watch out cos Yorkshire was the last

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- county to burn a witch at the stake. - What's that got to do with me?

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- Nothing.- That's cos we're actually here for the Knaresborough bed race.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32The Knaresborough bed race happens once a year,

0:22:32 > 0:22:36which is just as well, as no-one gets any sleep on race day.

0:22:36 > 0:22:41The race is three miles long and it goes through the town

0:22:41 > 0:22:42and even a river.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46This is my team. Hello, guys.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Hurray!

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Ed's team is the Oatland Infants' School.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53All right, I'm ready to run, I'm all warmed up.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57Our bed is a courtroom at the front and a jail at the back there.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- What are you in prison for?- I took someone's lollipop away from them.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02You deserve everything you've got.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04You even have your nice T-shirt here.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Oh, look, they've put my face on a T-shirt.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Has Holly's team put her face on a T-shirt? I bet not.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Nidd Valley Ladies!- Yeah!

0:23:12 > 0:23:16Holly's team are the Nidd Valley Ladies.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19We're going to parade through the town with the bed.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21I was led to believe that I was sleeping in the bed and I was

0:23:21 > 0:23:24- going to wake up a winner. - You're going to have to steer.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27- So I'll have to do all the Formula One moves?- Yeah.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31Before the race, the beds are paraded around

0:23:31 > 0:23:33this sleepy little town.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37It's the first time I've pushed a bed through the streets of Knaresborough.

0:23:37 > 0:23:38It's done for charity as well.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41So far we've got 11p. Come on, burglars!

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Yeah, get the slave labour working.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Oh, a horse-powered bed. How bizarre.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48My team are amazing, but I've got to drive it.

0:23:48 > 0:23:53I mean, I wonder if Jenson Button gets this scared before a race.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56Oh, now we've got to take it all to pieces.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58Yeah, it comes off quickly.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01- This is the good bit.- Ah, more people waving and looking happy.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03This is the fastest bed in the west.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06You reckon? I think my bed's going to beat you,

0:24:06 > 0:24:08because I hear you're not even running.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11- You're going to be sitting on it. - I'm sitting on it.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14Right, OK, look, sitting on ours, we've got a little girl, so...

0:24:14 > 0:24:16- What are you saying? - I'm not saying you eat too

0:24:16 > 0:24:19many pies or anything, but you're heavier than a little girl.

0:24:19 > 0:24:24The beds have to be stripped down before they're allowed to race.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Sorry, just stripping our bed down.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Sorry about that.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31Sorry, Holly. Sorry.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34I can see why they were wearing crash helmets now.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37The guys are going to show me the river. This is the end of the course.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39We've got to push a bed through a river.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42- It looks quite deep. - It is quite deep.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46You'll be able to wade for about five metres that side, and probably

0:24:46 > 0:24:48about five, ten metres this side,

0:24:48 > 0:24:50then we have to swim through the middle.

0:24:50 > 0:24:54- Wish me luck!- Holly's off. We're switching to bed-cam.

0:24:54 > 0:24:5891 teams take part, which is a lot of sleepyheads and beds.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59Feeling a bit nervous now.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02I can't believe Holly Walsh gets to sit down. It's so unfair.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05- Stop talking, start running. - Let's race that bed!

0:25:05 > 0:25:06Ed's off!

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Each team must have six runners

0:25:09 > 0:25:12and one passenger, four pillows, a duvet cover and...

0:25:12 > 0:25:13I lied about the last bit there.

0:25:13 > 0:25:18And here's Holly looking quite relaxed.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20I'm actually tired just looking at her.

0:25:20 > 0:25:24Well, actually, I'm more tired looking at Ed. Look at him run.

0:25:24 > 0:25:25Hello, girls!

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Holly's just sitting there. Ed's doing very well.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35Ed's team's looking pretty good.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38He could do well in this race.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Oh, no, Ed's wet the bed!

0:25:40 > 0:25:43I think you're supposed to do that, though. There's Holly's team.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45They're nowhere near the water.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Ed is in the lead.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52- Arrgh!- That wasn't pleasant.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54This is the hardest thing I've done in my life!

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Really, Ed? You need to get out more.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59You're just pushing a bed with wheels on it.

0:25:59 > 0:26:04Oh, Holly's in the water, and Ed's at the finish line.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06It's the best time they've ever done it!

0:26:06 > 0:26:08We're nearly there! Come on! Come on!

0:26:08 > 0:26:11We're so close, we're so close.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13We can do this!

0:26:13 > 0:26:15I think it's crazy, but it's great.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18- Fantastic.- I love it, now it's over.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21And at last, here come Holly's team to the finishing line.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24That was incredible. I can't take any credit for this.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26This is entirely the work of the Nidd Valley Ladies.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28They've absolutely stormed it.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30I'm amazed.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32I can't believe we beat you!

0:26:32 > 0:26:36And let's look back at some of Ed's best bits.

0:26:36 > 0:26:43His team finished 19th with a time of 16 minutes and 46 seconds.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46Holly's team finished 64th,

0:26:46 > 0:26:51with a time of 21 minutes and eight seconds.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55Well, Holly, there's winning and there's winning. And, because

0:26:55 > 0:26:59of me, the Oatland Infants' School team got their fastest time ever.

0:26:59 > 0:27:03Oh, really, Ed(!) Maybe you want to keep going on about it all evening.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05- Just keep talking about it. - OK, I will.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07I'm the champion, Holly Walsh is the loser.

0:27:07 > 0:27:11People of Knaresborough, form an orderly queue here to see my trophy.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13OK, why don't we look at it another way, yeah?

0:27:13 > 0:27:18I got to spend the whole day in bed, so who's the real winner?

0:27:18 > 0:27:20No, you're just a lazy loser.

0:27:20 > 0:27:24You've been watching All Over The Place!

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:36 > 0:27:39E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk