0:00:04 > 0:00:09- Ed visits a winter wonderland, s'now joke!- I'm frozen solid.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Naomi blows some tunes.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- Richard delivers the goods. - It's got ham and pineapple
0:00:15 > 0:00:17And Johny gets pie in the eye.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# All over the place
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# All over the place
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# North, south, east, west
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# On a bizarre quest, me and my mates
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# All over the place
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd
0:00:33 > 0:00:35# Whatever we do is strange, but true
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# All over the place
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# All over the place
0:00:40 > 0:00:42# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# But it turns up
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# All over the place! #
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Oh... Oh, I'm so cold. I'm so cold.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Stop moaning, Ed, it's not that bad.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Not that bad? I'm frozen solid!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Well, it's lovely over here.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Well, I'm coming over there, then.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02What are you doing?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Don't come and bring your snow.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07- It was nice and sunny before you came!- Why is it only snowing on me?
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Because that guy over there is making it snow on you.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Hello, guy over there.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Could you stop this, please?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17This is Darcey, from Stroud.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21No, not that kind of snowman.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24He makes fake snow.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Whatever, it's s'no problem at all.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43So, Darcey, how do you make snow in the middle of summer?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45We have lots of different ways, more than 200,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- but my favourite is this. - 200 ways to make snow!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51My favourite is this one, it's a fine powder.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53It looks like nothing,
0:01:53 > 0:01:56but we can carry a snowdrift in our hand luggage on a plane.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59All we have to do is add water...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02and then, hey, presto,
0:02:02 > 0:02:06we have snow...
0:02:06 > 0:02:10You are a magician. How do you do that? That is...
0:02:10 > 0:02:12It's like magic.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- ..one of the best things I've ever seen.- Now, feel it.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17It's the most wonderful snow, ever.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21- Is it safe, can you throw it at people?- Erm, yeah.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- I was expecting that. - You know me too well.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Can we have a go at spraying some snow?- Yeah.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- I've got this wonderful, kind of... jetpack.- Oh, brilliant.- Can I...?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- I said it first.- Please...
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- It's difficult.- I am closest.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Yes, you are.- Ha, ha, ha! The power, the power!
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Do I get nothing?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46You can have what we call the snowstorm.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Oh, yeah, I like the sound of that.
0:02:48 > 0:02:53- Ha-ha, this is more like it! - Oh, what...?
0:02:53 > 0:02:58- Let's see what you've got, Pitts. - Oh, yes, look at that.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Let's see what this little baby does.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Oh, hey! Oh, wow!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09This is awesome, this is a ridiculous amount of snow!
0:03:09 > 0:03:13I had no idea this much was going to come out.
0:03:14 > 0:03:20Now, aim it that way, then just walk backwards a little bit.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Yeah, I was getting a bit carried away there.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26- Then look for any bits you've missed.- Look at Johny.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I'm definitely losing the snow war.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31You are definitely losing the snow war, I'm sorry to tell you.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35There goes Petrie. The best day ever!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38This would be the best way to get a day off school.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Go to the headteacher's house, cover the front garden
0:03:41 > 0:03:45and they look out the window and go, "Oh, dear, school's off."
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I can't turn this off, this is getting ridiculous!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Oh, that's s'no joke!
0:03:53 > 0:03:56We are in the middle of summer, but with all this snow,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59it would be rude not to have a bit of a...
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- snowball fight!- Argh!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05The snow looks good and it covers up Johny's dandruff,
0:04:05 > 0:04:09but I wonder who would look best if you put a real snowman
0:04:09 > 0:04:11and a fake one in the same room?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Hello, Mr...
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Man, Snowman.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19What can we do for you today, Mr Snowman?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I've been told this is the place to come
0:04:22 > 0:04:24if you're starting to get a bit...
0:04:24 > 0:04:26embarrassed about your appearance.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I guess you want us to sort out your hideous nose?
0:04:28 > 0:04:33- We can do that for about £5,000. - I quite like my nose.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- Why are you here, then? - It's the rest of my body.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I suppose I'm getting on a bit.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Five days.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46My face is drooping, my tummy's sagging, I'm falling to pieces.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49It's not your age, Mr Man, it's this lovely warm weather
0:04:49 > 0:04:51that's started, and spring is on the way.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I cannot wait.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I don't know what you're so cheerful about.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It's not exactly good news for us, is it? We are made of snow.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- Ah, not me, I'm made of plastic. - Plastic?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Technically, I'm GRP, Glass-Reinforced Plastic.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's a posher version of fibre glass.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10It's what they use to make snow in TV and films.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12And you can have it done too.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14You can be turned into
0:05:14 > 0:05:16magnesium sulphate, vegetable wax.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20At these prices? Not likely. Anyway, I'm not sure I hold with it.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24It's people like you putting real snowmen out of business.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- And what business would that be? - Being a snowman business.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31No offence, Mr Man, it's adapt or die in this world.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Human beings lead very busy lives
0:05:33 > 0:05:36and can't wait for some old-fashioned snow to fall.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38There's all sorts of options.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You can be melted and mixed with petroleum.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Too late, maybe I should have left the heating off.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Ed, you know you like to talk? A lot.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I do have moments of intellectual genius
0:06:00 > 0:06:03that have to be shared, if that's what you mean.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Since we're in Scotland, I've thought of a way
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- we can put all of your hot air to good use.- A bit rude.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10We're going to visit this place.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- The National Piping Centre?- Mm-hm.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- Am I going to be learning how to be a plumber?- No, follow me.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42You need a lot of wind to play one.
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Ed, you suck.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54What we've got here is the oldest pipe chanter in the world
0:06:54 > 0:06:56and it's about 300 years old.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Every set of bagpipes has a chanter, to play the melody?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02That's right, yes.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09The chanter converts the air into a melody.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10THEY PLAY OUT-OF TUNE
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I said melody!
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Proof of Scottish giants. Look at these, they're massive.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23I like these, why has it got keys instead of the holes?
0:07:23 > 0:07:24The keys are so you can play
0:07:24 > 0:07:26sharps and flats, it's quite complicated.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Name that tune, Naomi.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- Do you think that sounds like it? - I think that sounds just like it.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52- Just like it, is it Adele?- No, it was Justin Bieber.- Oh, of course, yes.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- Baby, baby.- Baby, ooh...
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Oh, I can hear it now.- See?
0:08:07 > 0:08:11That's as good as you're going to get. What was that?
0:08:11 > 0:08:17- That was definitely Chipmunk.- No, it was Katy Perry, Firework.- Oh, yes!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- I ran out of note.- Next one.- I needed an extra note.- Next one.- OK.
0:08:37 > 0:08:42- I'm sorry, I give up, no. - It was Lady Gaga, Born This Way.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- I need to sit down. - That was so bad, Ed. Terrible.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51You two have no chance of joining
0:08:51 > 0:08:51the 8,000 pipers...
0:08:56 > 0:08:59I wonder who would win the All Over The Place Bagpiping Championships?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02You're nae match fer me, wee mad Johny.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I'm the greatest piper in this land.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Dinna kid yerself, Ed, yer a jealous bag of wind, if there was one.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11We'll soon find out about that, won't we?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Sorry, could you back off a bit? You've got quite bad breath.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh...
0:09:16 > 0:09:20I've got the greatest set of bagpipes in Scotland,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23whereas yours are probably not even Scottish.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25They're probably made in England.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29There's nae shame in that, the English actually had bagpipes
0:09:29 > 0:09:31before the Scottish.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34You wash your mouth out, that's a lie and you know it!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Everybody knows the bagpipes were made in Scotland.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Asia Minor, actually, in about 1,000 BC.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I don't care for history,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I'm too busy practising on the great pipe.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Hold it there, hold it there. - We haven't done nothing.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Ye canna arrest us for playing the bagpipes.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01I'm not arresting you for playing the bagpipes,
0:10:01 > 0:10:03but for crimes against the Scottish accent.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Come with me.- It's a fair cop. - I cannae argue with that.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Ed, this place is huge, and what is that?
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Ceallach, my young friend, that is Nelson's Column.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29And on top stands Admiral Horatio Nelson, hero of the British Navy
0:10:29 > 0:10:33when he defeated Napoleon in the Battle Of Trafalgar in 1805.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38- What, right here?- No, Trafalgar's also a place off the coast of Spain.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43Oh, I see. I wonder if he can see Spain from up there?
0:10:43 > 0:10:48- Er, I don't think so.- Do you think that's his ship up there?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51That's a piece of contemporary art, representing Nelson's ship.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53The art here changes all the time.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Did they keep these huge lions as pets?
0:10:57 > 0:11:02- No, they are based on models of real lions.- Very lifelike.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Legend has it that if Big Ben chimes 13 times, they'll come alive.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Ah, that'll be on the 12th of never.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12# London calling to the underworld
0:11:12 > 0:11:15# Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls... #
0:11:15 > 0:11:16What's this, Ed?
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- This, Ceall, is the world's smallest police box.- Police box?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23It used to be a lamp post, but in 1926, it was hollowed,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26they put in a telephone and when someone called, the light flashed.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Ah, cool. That was a bright idea!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- Get it?- Oh, yeah, brilliant(!)
0:11:34 > 0:11:38- How many police officers can fit in there?- Just the one.
0:11:38 > 0:11:43- Do the police still use it? - No, closed down about 50 years ago.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Oh, that's a shame. What do they use it for now?
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Doctor Who just bought it to replace his old TARDIS.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Really, Doctor Who lives in there? That's amazing.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56No, I'm only joking, obviously.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Oh, that would have been so cool.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Just imagine your house was like a TARDIS.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07If my house was like a TARDIS, it would be a massive theme park.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10The place would be filled with rollercoasters.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14You would have water rides, you'd have loop-the-loop.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18You could go ice skating, have snowball fights.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22You could skate round with the penguins, holding fins and hands.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27You'd have rides that go really fast without a track.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29And it floats.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41My nain is from Wales, you know. Nain is Welsh for gran.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Why don't the Welsh say gran?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45It wouldn't be Welsh, would it?
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Looking forward to getting back to my roots.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50I've heard this North Wales village is beautiful.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I've always wanted to visit a typical Welsh village.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58- I wonder what the main attraction is? Maybe a huge castle.- Yeah.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Or a Chinese pagoda.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05It's not just the Chinese pagoda that's the main attraction here.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09In Portmeirion, there's buildings inspired from all over the world.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Asian, Italian, Spanish,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15French and Welsh buildings.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17This village was built by one man.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23It took him over 50 years to complete his dream.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Ed and Richard, you have 42 seconds
0:13:26 > 0:13:30to find out as much as you can about Portmeirion!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Ed, you've got Robin, who's in charge of the village.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Richard, you've got Meurig,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37who looks after the daily running of things.
0:13:37 > 0:13:43Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner. Three, two, one, go!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- So, Meurig, what country are we in? - Wales.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52- Did you know Clough Williams-Ellis? - Yes, he was my grandfather.- Really?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Is there a beach here?- Yes, there is. - Is it a sandy beach?- Yes, it is.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Why did he build this place?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59To show you could develop somewhere beautiful without spoiling it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03- How many windows, do you know?- No.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I heard it was a home for fallen buildings, is that
0:14:05 > 0:14:07because they were rubbish and kept falling down?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10He wanted to give a home to places that were in danger.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- How many swimming pools in this place?- One.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Which building travelled the furthest?- The Bristol Colonnade.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21- How many tourists do you get here each year, roughly?- 250,000.- 250,000?
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Why are the buildings different colours?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Did you have an indecisive painter? - OUT-OF-TIME BUZZER
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Oh! I'll never know why they are different colours. Why are they?
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- To mimic the colours of the Italian coast.- Oh, very interesting.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39The person that found out the most facts is...
0:14:39 > 0:14:40- Richard.- Yes!
0:14:40 > 0:14:44- Oh, what, how?- I told you I'd beat you.- How?- I told you I'd beat you.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- Well, I have got one thing.- What's that?- Guide book.- Oh, wicked.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Shall we have a look round? - Yes. Let's have a look.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57We are pleased with the cruise. The food is lovely.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00The entertainment is marvellous, but the scenery is a bit samey.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I've got to stop you there, you're going nowhere on this boat.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- Made out of stone. - That would be why, then.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08There was a real boat, but it got destroyed by a storm
0:15:08 > 0:15:11so Clough made a stone one to stay forever.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- I do know something!- Have you been reading the guide book?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- Er, yeah.- I thought you might have.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22What are you doing?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25This is a hotel as well, don't spy on the guests.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I'm not spying. Look, they're painted on, these windows.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Some of the buildings have windows painted on.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Nothing is as it seems in Portmeirion.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37The windows aren't windows, the doors aren't doors.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Oh, here's a door...
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- Sorry, madam!- Run!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44It's all right. She wasn't real, she was just a painted lady!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Portmeirion seems to have loads of surprises.
0:15:46 > 0:15:51Where did Clough Williams-Ellis get all these amazing
0:15:51 > 0:15:53sculptures and buildings from?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Hello, is that Generic Deliveries?
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Good.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01I ordered some things for this
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Italian-inspired village I'm building...
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- KNOCK AT DOOR - That will be them, thank you.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11You've got my stuff for the Italian village?
0:16:11 > 0:16:15That's right, sir. Come on, lads, bring 'em in!
0:16:15 > 0:16:20- Hang on, bring what in? - The dolphins for the dolphin house.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Be careful, the big one likes to chuck his fish about.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Wait, I wanted the house decorated with dolphins.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Paintings, sculptures, things like that.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33What am I going to do with a dozen dolphins?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35In the bath?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38What about the other stuff I ordered?
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Ah... One rubber ring for you, sir.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- I didn't order this. - You ordered a stone boat, didn't you?
0:16:45 > 0:16:48So you're going to need that for when it sinks.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52At least tell me you've got me my...
0:16:52 > 0:16:54It's a pizza.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- No fooling you, is there, sir? - I ordered a piazza!
0:16:58 > 0:17:02- A meeting place, where you meet people.- Oh. You wanted a meat pizza?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05No, I didn't want any pizza! I wanted a piazza!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08With a fountain and a gothic pavilion and Roman columns.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10This has got ham and pineapple.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17He certainly gave him a piz-za his mind.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21I doubt Clough Williams-Ellis used that delivery method.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Good day, madam, 'appen it's a lovely one again.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Good day to you, young street urchin, and where do we find ourselves today?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Ain't that a fine question to be asking a young gent
0:17:41 > 0:17:44like my good self? You see...
0:17:44 > 0:17:48# Pray tell, fair lady Haven't you heard?
0:17:48 > 0:17:52# We stepped back in time into Dickens' world. #
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Charles Dickens, Victorian novelist,
0:17:56 > 0:17:58the man who wrote Bleak House and Oliver Twist?
0:17:58 > 0:17:59# The very same Victorian gent
0:17:59 > 0:18:02# And you can relive his past right here in Kent
0:18:02 > 0:18:04# Walk the streets of gloomy London
0:18:04 > 0:18:06# Just like him
0:18:06 > 0:18:08# All misty, moody
0:18:08 > 0:18:11# Dank and smelly, dark and grim
0:18:11 > 0:18:15# Into Dickens' past, we need to delve
0:18:15 > 0:18:19# He was born in 1812
0:18:19 > 0:18:21# Married Catherine Hogarth
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# She was a Scot and they had ten children
0:18:24 > 0:18:26# Crikey, that's a lot!
0:18:26 > 0:18:27# He started off a newspaper reporter
0:18:27 > 0:18:30# But then decided he really ought to
0:18:30 > 0:18:33# Have a pop at fame and wealth and glory
0:18:33 > 0:18:38# And set about writing popular stories
0:18:38 > 0:18:40# Dickens, Charles Dickens,
0:18:40 > 0:18:42# Here, you can see it all
0:18:42 > 0:18:45# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:18:45 > 0:18:48# Newgate Prison and the Music Hall
0:18:48 > 0:18:49# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:18:49 > 0:18:51# If you want to feel like a fool
0:18:51 > 0:18:56# Then spend some time in the class of a Victorian school
0:18:56 > 0:19:01# Dickens' books were published week by week
0:19:01 > 0:19:05# Soap operas of the day, so to speak
0:19:05 > 0:19:08# It's what was known as serialisation
0:19:08 > 0:19:10# His stories truly gripped the nation
0:19:10 > 0:19:13# Used techniques never seen before
0:19:13 > 0:19:15# Cliffhangers left the readers wanting more
0:19:15 > 0:19:19# Like a Victorian Eastenders, I'm guessing
0:19:19 > 0:19:23# A bit like that, but much less depressing
0:19:23 > 0:19:26# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:19:26 > 0:19:28# At Dickens World, you can choose
0:19:28 > 0:19:30# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:19:30 > 0:19:33# To visit the house of Ebenezer Scrooge
0:19:33 > 0:19:35# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:19:35 > 0:19:38# Have a Great Expectations boat ride
0:19:38 > 0:19:40# The water's realistically brown
0:19:40 > 0:19:42# It's OK, it's been dyed
0:19:42 > 0:19:44# And you don't need to be a historian
0:19:44 > 0:19:47# To know what it's like to be a Victorian
0:19:47 > 0:19:49# This world transports you through the ages
0:19:49 > 0:19:52# Brings to life old Dickens' pages
0:19:52 > 0:19:54# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:19:54 > 0:19:56# A novelist second to none
0:19:56 > 0:19:58# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:19:58 > 0:20:01# Was partial to word play and a pun
0:20:01 > 0:20:03# Dickens, Charles Dickens
0:20:03 > 0:20:05# So right, don't know where to begin
0:20:05 > 0:20:07# He must be good
0:20:07 > 0:20:14# He's got a world named after him! #
0:20:23 > 0:20:26That was a great banana.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Really? I'm more of a satsuma man, myself.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Argh! - Oh, yes, the banana skin trip,
0:20:31 > 0:20:35it's up there with other classic slapstick comedy like,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37the boxing glove punch.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Oh! This is no way to treat your co-presenter.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44I've worked with lots of people on this show and they show me respect.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46He'll be able to get his own back. We're here for this...
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Welcome to the World Custard Pie Championships,
0:20:50 > 0:20:54taking place here in Coxheath, Kent.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Started in 1967,
0:20:56 > 0:21:01it's held here in honour of a great film slapstick tradition,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03the custard pie fight.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06The rules of custard pie throwing are fairly simple.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Six points for a pie in the face.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Three points for a pie on the shoulder.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16One point for anywhere else on the body.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18So who better to show you the ropes,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21and put pie in your eye, than the man who runs it all?
0:21:21 > 0:21:25So, Mike, you're the King of the Custard around here, are you?
0:21:25 > 0:21:29I'm the custard pie man.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31What's this custard made out of?
0:21:31 > 0:21:35That's a long story but, basically, it's flour and water
0:21:35 > 0:21:38to exact proportions, because custard doesn't travel.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40So, it's not proper custard, then?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- It's the championship custard. - Oh, they look delicious.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- Wow, yum, championship custard. - That's one.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51If I ordered one of these in a restaurant, I'd be disappointed.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I don't like how your hand's shaking, Ed.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55We haven't put any cream on them.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Can we have a bit of target practice?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- You're welcome to, I've got a lad here, Luke.- Brilliant.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- You can have a little go. - Hello, Luke.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Hello, Luke, sorry.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- Are you sure you're all right about this?- That's fine. Ready, steady...
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- Go on, Johny!- I feel really bad!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Oh!- And again.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Yay!- Yay!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Oh, dear.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29- Johny, I think you should give Luke a hug to apologise.- Oh, no!
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Trust me, guys, you will be covered by the end of the day.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40As the judges can also award up to six points for a team's fancy dress,
0:22:40 > 0:22:42the competition has started before
0:22:42 > 0:22:45the first pie is even thrown.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Ed and Johny have joined opposing teams.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50I wonder they will cover themselves in glory
0:22:50 > 0:22:52before they're covered in custard?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Looks like Ed's team have gone for the superhero look,
0:22:55 > 0:22:57a few points there, maybe?
0:22:57 > 0:23:02And Johny's team are... Care to tell us yourself, Johny?
0:23:02 > 0:23:07What's up, this is Johny Pie Pants And The Bad Boyz. Ooh, ooh, ooh!
0:23:07 > 0:23:12Bad Boyz? You should be called Badly Dressed Boyz.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15You should be called Rubbish Heroes.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Rubbish Heroes, brilliant, nice one.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Our team has even got our own handshake. Check this out.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Ooh, yeah!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26We've got our own handshake, look,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28much more efficient.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31That just wastes everyone's time.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Seconds before the first pie is thrown,
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Ed finally reveals his true superhero identity.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Can you just do me the honours for me?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Look at me, I am Flan Man.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48If Flan Man and his team, or the Bad Boyz,
0:23:48 > 0:23:51can make it through two qualifying rounds,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54only a few pies stand between them and the semi-finals.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Come on, everyone, make Flan Man proud!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Ready, steady, fire.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06Rah, rah!
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Rah!
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Flan Man, the rahs are good,
0:24:17 > 0:24:19but I think you'll need to work on your aim a little.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Let's see how the Bad Boyz get on.
0:24:35 > 0:24:40Who won, how do you win this? Some superheroes you are,
0:24:40 > 0:24:45- you can't even spell your name right - Heros.- Oh.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Eat my pie!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I was taken unawares.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Where are all these pies coming from?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59This is like superglue, this is never coming off.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01People get into this though, don't they?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04This is just an average Saturday afternoon in Kent.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Prepare to face the custard!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I thought that went well.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Oh, did you, Johny Pie Pants?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Is it enough to get you through to the next round?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29We got our results. Did you get yours?
0:25:29 > 0:25:30When you say get yours...
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Did you get through to the semi-final?
0:25:32 > 0:25:37- Well, semi-final... No. - You didn't get through?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39You didn't get through!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- You got through, then?- No.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47The competition may be over for Ed and Johny,
0:25:47 > 0:25:50but the pies keep on flying until only the two best teams are left.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56And 'Luke' who's leading that team.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- Congratulations, you're in the final.- Thank you, yeah!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Can Luke and the Stocky Crusaders win the day,
0:26:05 > 0:26:07and become World Champions?
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Come on, do it for Flan Man. Come on, remember your training.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Yes, all the training we gave you.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Remember what Johny Pie Pants taught you earlier.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31The winning team is team number one.
0:26:31 > 0:26:35And Luke's won, this is his moment of glory.
0:26:35 > 0:26:42- All down to us. All down to us. - All down to us, the winners' photo.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Oi, stop trying to steal the limelight from the World Champions!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49We still don't know who's the best between you two.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51To decide that, we need a pie-off
0:26:51 > 0:26:55between the Superheroes and the Bad Boyz.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57To the victor the spoils!
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Eat flan, man!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Here's pie in your eye, Pitts!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Face the wrath of Flan Man!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Take this, Flan Man!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Hang on, left hand... Oh, dropped it.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18This is a disaster.
0:27:22 > 0:27:23Who's it going to be?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Bring it on for the Bad Boyz.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Could be anyone.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30I'd just like to say, congratulations.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Yeah! The Superheroes!
0:27:33 > 0:27:37You might have foiled my plans this time, but I'll get you next time,
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Flan Man! I'll get you next time! Ha-ha-ha!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41You've got custard on your face.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43You've been watching
0:27:43 > 0:27:45All Over The Place!
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd