Ravens, Time Machines and Shirt Racing!

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a windy ride!

0:00:05 > 0:00:08Coming up, Ed and Naomi have one too many lemonades,

0:00:08 > 0:00:11Barney's teeth fall out,

0:00:11 > 0:00:14Ceal's gone RAVEN mad, and Johny's having a bad day.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16This is a total catastrophe!

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# All over the place

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# All over the place

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Me and my mates All over the place!

0:00:28 > 0:00:31# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

0:00:31 > 0:00:33# Whatever we do is strange but true!

0:00:33 > 0:00:35# All over the place

0:00:36 > 0:00:39# All over the place

0:00:39 > 0:00:41# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

0:00:41 > 0:00:45- # But it turns up... - All over the place! #

0:00:45 > 0:00:48I know, my little friend. I know. I understand you.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50Coo! Coo!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Now, be free!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54What was that?

0:00:54 > 0:00:57- Oh, basically, Ceal, I can tame any bird.- Any bird?

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Yep.

0:00:58 > 0:01:02- All right. What about seagulls? - I am the seagull master.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Parrots? - I am the parrot master.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06Ravens?

0:01:06 > 0:01:09I am the... Oh, no. Actually, you can't tame a raven.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12- Really?- Yeah.- Well, who is this?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Some bloke going to a fancy dress party?

0:01:16 > 0:01:20No, Ed, this is the Tower of London's Raven Master.

0:01:22 > 0:01:24His job is to tame the ravens.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29I want your job! How do I become a Raven Master?

0:01:29 > 0:01:31First of all, you need a love of birds.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Me and birds get on brilliantly. I can charm them down from trees.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36- We'll see. - These must be like your babies.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40They're not really like babies. They do bite.

0:01:40 > 0:01:41They particularly like eyes.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Our eyes?- Absolutely. - Human eyes?- Human eyes.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46That's their favourite.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49I quite like my eyes. I'm keeping my eyes shut from now on.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52RAVEN CALLS

0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Big, aren't they?- Yeah, I didn't realise they were that big.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56They certainly are!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05How come they don't just fly away?

0:02:05 > 0:02:09We trim their flight feathers. It keeps them on the ground.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11We take off a couple of feathers on one wing,

0:02:11 > 0:02:14and they hover and stay round here, and they're quite happy doing that.

0:02:14 > 0:02:19It's like cutting their nails, it doesn't harm them in any way.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Ravens have been at the Tower Of London for hundreds of years.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25There's an old saying that if the ravens ever leave the tower,

0:02:25 > 0:02:28the country and the monarchy will collapse.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30It's breakfast time.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32I'm starving! Scrambled eggs? Nice croissant?

0:02:32 > 0:02:36I don't think he had breakfast in mind for you, boys!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39We're going to go over and feed these three over on the lawn.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42You stay behind me. Remember what I said about the eyes.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49There we go, girl!

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Today's breakfast is...fresh meat.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57He's just eyeing us up. Literally, eyeing us up.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00- LAUGHTER - Don't talk about eyes!

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Then she'll come out. Hopefully, she'll come out.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05That good?

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Look, I've just fed this one, over here.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12All that lovely meat, and all she wants to do is eat a grape.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- How un-GRAPE-ful! - THEY LAUGH

0:03:15 > 0:03:19There's a particular delicacy that ravens enjoy even more.

0:03:19 > 0:03:24These contestants have battled against each other for weeks.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28This is their last chance to impress the raven with delicacies.

0:03:28 > 0:03:33The first up is Ceal. He's cooked one of the ravens' favourite dishes.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I've done a biscuit soaked in blood.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38I love the colours, I love the presentation.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Visually, this is great. Let's see what Ed has made.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44I've...baked a biscuit soaked in blood.

0:03:44 > 0:03:49Oh, this dish lacks elegance and style.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Our Raven MasterChef champion today is...

0:03:52 > 0:03:53Ceal.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Come on! I'm the winner! Ooh!

0:03:59 > 0:04:00RAVEN CALLS

0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Did you know, they're actually really clever?- Really?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Yeah. They can mimic human talking.- Hmm.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11IN SQUEAKY VOICE: Hey, what you looking at?

0:04:11 > 0:04:13Oh, wow! Really does sound like someone's...

0:04:13 > 0:04:15- That was you, wasn't it? - Yeah, it was me.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18But did you know, they can actually make their own tools

0:04:18 > 0:04:19using twigs and other stuff?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21What does a raven need tools for?

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Caw! Caw!

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Here, Dave.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Guess what the Raven Master's given us to dip in our biscuits again?

0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Oh, not blood! - What's wrong with a cup of tea?

0:04:35 > 0:04:38Just think, mate! Use your bonce!

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Earlier, I heard him tell some tourist,

0:04:41 > 0:04:43"Yes, ravens are very clever,

0:04:43 > 0:04:47"they use things around them to build their own tools."

0:04:47 > 0:04:49If only he knew what I'd really been building.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Ta-daa!- Whoa! What is it?

0:04:56 > 0:04:59It's a time machine, innit? We're the smartest birds on the planet.

0:04:59 > 0:05:04I got bored of just saying hello to tourists. Quick, here's some, now.

0:05:04 > 0:05:08- Good morning! Bonjour!- Guten Tag!

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Hang on, I think they're from Essex.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Oi-oi!

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Good, they're gone. Quick, get in!

0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Right, John. Pick a time.- Half 12.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22No, a year, you numpty! Let's just see where it takes us.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Aaagh! Oh!

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Here, Dave. What year are we in?

0:05:31 > 0:05:34I don't know. We must have gone way back.

0:05:34 > 0:05:38There's a castle, some bloke over there wearing funny old clothes.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40That's just the Raven Master.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42We haven't gone anywhere, have we, Dave?

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Oh.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Quick, he's looking over. Act normal!

0:05:47 > 0:05:49WHISTLING

0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Think we got away with it? - Yeah, sorted, John.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56# Things that stick Out of the...

0:05:56 > 0:05:57- #- Ground!- #

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Armagh!

0:06:01 > 0:06:03I give you...our sun!

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Wow!

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Think I'm a bit star-struck.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10The sun's a star.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Ed and Barney, you have 40 seconds each

0:06:25 > 0:06:26to find out as much as you can

0:06:26 > 0:06:30about Armagh Astropark and Planetarium.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33The winner gets to launch their own rocket.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37Ed, you've got Professor Mark, who's an expert in astronomy.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Barney, you've got Martina,

0:06:39 > 0:06:41who knows all about the astropark and planetarium.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Three, two, one, go!

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Why is it called a planetarium? - We show the planets.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Can you tell my horoscope?- No.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Is it the only planetarium in the area?- It's a new one in Ireland.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00- I thought you were an astrologer?! - They don't work.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02- How long has it been here? - From 1968.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Ith thith an eclipth?

0:07:05 > 0:07:07- No, it's not.- It's a lisp! Ha-ha!

0:07:07 > 0:07:10- How many visitors come every day?- 200-300.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13How come, when everyone see the moon, they go, "That's nice!"

0:07:13 > 0:07:15But if I show MY moon I get arrested?

0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Cos it doesn't look so nice. - Good. Oh! How dare you?!

0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Do you know how big the moon is? - It's pretty big.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23- Do you believe in aliens? - Yes!

0:07:23 > 0:07:25- What happens if it rains? - We go inside.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28OK. Erm. I, er...

0:07:28 > 0:07:29BUZZER SOUNDS

0:07:29 > 0:07:31- I'm glad we got that in.- Good.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35- Do you really believe in aliens? - Yeah.- Oh, good!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37So, the person who found out the most facts

0:07:37 > 0:07:39and gets to launch the rocket is...

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- Barney! - Yeah!- Oh, blast!

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Now that is what you call star treatment!

0:07:45 > 0:07:49For anybody who's ever wanted to launch a rocket,

0:07:49 > 0:07:51this is for you.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Three, two, one,

0:07:54 > 0:07:56blast off!

0:07:57 > 0:07:58Whoa!

0:08:00 > 0:08:05So, from the rocket launch pad, back to the astropark's solar system.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09- This is our solar system, all right? These objects are all to scale.- OK.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11OK, so this is the sun, that's half the sun.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14You could fit a million earths inside the sun.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Wow! The sun's big, innit? - Yeah, it's big compared to these.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19These are the planets. That's Mercury, the first one.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21That's the closest planet to the sun.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24- That's Venus, there.- Wow. Hi, Venus.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27- And then Earth! We're home! - Look, you can see our house!

0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Look how small it is! - That's where we are.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31- That's exactly where we are. - That's the UK.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34- You've just reached Mars.- Wow! Do you reckon it tastes like chocolate?

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Maybe, maybe. Maybe if we get there one day, we'll find out.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Are all solar systems in a garden centre?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41No, not all of them. Just keep going.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43That's Jupiter.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46In front of you is Saturn. It's quite a long way away, isn't it?

0:08:46 > 0:08:47It's REALLY far away.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Saturn is the furthest planet you can see from Earth

0:08:51 > 0:08:53without using a telescope.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Barney, put your hands on this.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00That is probably the oldest thing you've ever touched.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03- Well, I shook Bruce Forsyth's hand, once.- It's even older than that.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06- That old?! - Yes, this is 4.6 billion years old.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08It's as old as the planets.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10That's amazing! What is it, apart from a lump of something?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12It used to be part of a planet.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14It's mostly made out of iron, it's a meteorite.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16It fell to Earth from space.

0:09:16 > 0:09:18- A real meteorite?- Yes. - That fell to Earth from space?

0:09:18 > 0:09:21And just happened to land on this plinth in a planetarium?

0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Yeah, it was lucky. - That's really cool.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26- They must've built the building around it.- Probably.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh, mate! I love this show. Where's Phillip Schofield?

0:09:28 > 0:09:32- It's not The Cube, Barney, this is the hypercube.- What's that?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Well, I'm probably not the best person to explain, actually.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38But I know a man with a lovely set of teeth who can.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40And now, the wonders of the Armagh Astropark

0:09:40 > 0:09:45with all-round swotty pants, Professor Brian Cox.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I'm Professor Brian Cox.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56And I'm Professor Brian Cox.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58And, together...

0:09:58 > 0:10:00BOTH: we're gorgeous.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02If Brian's mug is the universe,

0:10:02 > 0:10:06and this salt is the planets...

0:10:07 > 0:10:09..what you get is...

0:10:09 > 0:10:11SPITS OUT TEA

0:10:11 > 0:10:13..is a really minging cup of tea.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16This is the hypercube.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20And it gives you some idea of the scale of the universe.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24But this universe looks quite small, Brian.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Each of these cubes is ten times bigger than the cube inside.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32The first cube is 8cm cubed.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37The second cube is 80cm cubed.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41The third cube, this big one on the outside,

0:10:41 > 0:10:43is 800cm cubed.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Now, they've only made three cubes.

0:10:46 > 0:10:47But if they'd made 11 cubes,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50the 11th cube would've reached the moon.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52If they'd made 28 cubes,

0:10:52 > 0:10:57the 28th cube would be as big as the visible universe.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01So, what have we learned?

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Well, we've learned that I am one billion...

0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Trillion...- Gazillion...

0:11:06 > 0:11:08St Trinian...

0:11:08 > 0:11:09Sardines in a tin-ian...

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Look at him, he's got a rat on his chin-ian...

0:11:12 > 0:11:14All these times...

0:11:14 > 0:11:16BOTH: More clever than you.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19# What are you thinking? What are you thinking?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21# What are you thinking? #

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Alcester!

0:11:22 > 0:11:28'Ooh! This looks lovely, and smooth and strange.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30'What is it? An alien egg?

0:11:30 > 0:11:32'A spaceship?

0:11:32 > 0:11:33'I know! It's a time machine!'

0:11:35 > 0:11:39'Actually, Ed, it's a sculpture. And it's called Tin.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42'It was made by an artist called Gereon Krebber,

0:11:42 > 0:11:45'and sits here at Jerwood Sculpture Park in Worcestershire.'

0:11:47 > 0:11:48'Wonder what it's made from?'

0:11:48 > 0:11:51'It's made from aluminium.'

0:11:51 > 0:11:52'Wonder why he called it Tin?'

0:11:52 > 0:11:54'Well, it's supposed to represent

0:11:54 > 0:11:57'something you can find in your kitchen cupboard.'

0:11:57 > 0:11:59'Like a tin of baked beans!'

0:11:59 > 0:12:03'Actually, tin cans aren't made from tin anymore.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05'Nowadays, they're made from aluminium.'

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Tin foil! Aaargh!

0:12:12 > 0:12:16'Oh, no. Sorry, Ed. Tin foil is also now made from aluminium, too.'

0:12:16 > 0:12:20'I think this sculpture should've been called Aluminium, then.'

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Or Time Machine!

0:12:22 > 0:12:24ROBOT NOISES

0:12:24 > 0:12:28'There's lots of things I could do if I found a time machine.'

0:12:28 > 0:12:30If I'm in my time machine, it'd be really complicated,

0:12:30 > 0:12:34cos there would be loads of buttons to press.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36It could be really weird,

0:12:36 > 0:12:40cos in the future we might be living on Mars or Pluto.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44Aliens would eat cat food mixed with dog food.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48You would see things like whales with two heads,

0:12:48 > 0:12:52or sharks with no gills.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I might have a hat that's got a rubber duck on it,

0:12:55 > 0:12:58and everyone in the world has got that on.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02# Grown-ups collect stuff, too. #

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Burntisland.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10This is the All Over The Place news. Here are the headlines.

0:13:10 > 0:13:14Ed Petrie confirmed CBBC viewers' favourite presenter.

0:13:14 > 0:13:20Ed Petrie shambolic research strongly disputed by fellow CBBC presenters.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Ed Petrie's message to Johny Pitts -

0:13:22 > 0:13:26"If you don't like it, get off my show."

0:13:26 > 0:13:30And, coming up later, Johny Pitts's angry response to Ed Petrie -

0:13:30 > 0:13:34"I only came on this show because you begged me to!"

0:13:35 > 0:13:38Ah! Paper cut! Paper cut!

0:13:38 > 0:13:39And, this just in.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42CBBC bosses appeal to two of their presenters

0:13:42 > 0:13:45to stop larking about and get on with the rest of the item.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47I think that's us, Johny.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50- I thought we were doing quite well. - We were working, actually.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53We're going to have a look at a collection of televisions,

0:13:53 > 0:13:56hence the tenuous newsreader link.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Doesn't matter. Let's go, mate.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Let's get on with today's show!

0:14:19 > 0:14:21This was in the Guinness Book Of Records in 2004

0:14:21 > 0:14:23as the world's smallest TV.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26You need a magnifying glass to watch it.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29Which means it's completely pointless.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32Today, you can watch more than 400 TV channels.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Wha-a-a-at?!

0:14:39 > 0:14:42There was only BBC, in black and white,

0:14:42 > 0:14:44and it was not broadcast all day.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46- And it was boring.- Yes!

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Ed, you big-head. What's that all about?

0:14:51 > 0:14:52- This is a magnifier.- For what?

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Well, TVs in the 1940s had quite small screens,

0:14:55 > 0:14:58so you use this to get a bigger picture.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01But in 1956, this is what a remote control looked like.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03It's fair to say things have moved on.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Yeah, although you can still get quite far from the telly.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12- Yoo-hoo!- You could probably do a good workout with that thing.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Oh, yeah. Definitely. Burn a few calories.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18This is a televisor.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20It's a replica of the world's first television,

0:15:20 > 0:15:22and was designed by John Logie Baird.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Just imagine something's being filmed,

0:15:25 > 0:15:27that's turned into a signal, which is sent down that wire.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29That wire sends the signal to the light,

0:15:29 > 0:15:33and that tells the light to shine at varying brightnesses.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36You've got this disc that's got lots of holes in different places.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39If it spins at a certain speed, that creates lines,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42which form an image on that lens. A moving image.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43I can actually see an image, there.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46You should be able to see a flickering image of a face.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52I bet he was good at quizzes!

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Hello! And welcome to TV Dinners,

0:15:58 > 0:16:01the game where you literally play for your dinner.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04This is for your starter, Johny.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07In 2010, which TV programme

0:16:07 > 0:16:10- had the highest viewing figures? - I'm going to guess...

0:16:10 > 0:16:15Was it A) Strictly Come Dancing or B) The X Factor?

0:16:15 > 0:16:19- I'm going to go with X Factor. - Correct! Yes, The X Factor.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23You've won some delicious soup. There you go, Johny. Enjoy that.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25- What is it? - It's made from Brussels sprouts.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh! I'll... I'll have it later, lovely.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31- No, you eat it now.- No, later.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33# TV Dinners! #

0:16:33 > 0:16:38Which city in the UK watches the most television per week, Johny?

0:16:38 > 0:16:41Is it A) London or B) Birmingham?

0:16:41 > 0:16:43London.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Oh, it was good, but it's not right, Johny. No, it's Birmingham.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Those Brummies love their telly!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Here's what you could've won - some lovely cabbage and chips!

0:16:51 > 0:16:53That could've been yours.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Oh, man!- Go on, I'll give you some. There you go!

0:16:56 > 0:16:58# TV Dinners! #

0:16:58 > 0:17:03How many TV sets were bought in the UK in 2010, Johny?

0:17:05 > 0:17:11Is it A) 9.5 million or B) 11.5 million, Johny?

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Either way, that's a lot of tellies.

0:17:13 > 0:17:149.5 million.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Is correct, Johny!- Yes!

0:17:16 > 0:17:21And look what you've won! You've won this delicious chocolate surprise.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25Finally, something I can eat! Yes!

0:17:25 > 0:17:28The surprise is that the sauce is made from egg mayonnaise.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31HE GAGS

0:17:33 > 0:17:35This TV show's rubbish.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38I wonder what John Logie Baird would've watched back in the day?

0:17:40 > 0:17:42"Have fun!

0:17:42 > 0:17:45"Enjoy yourself, Logie Baird!"

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Hmm!

0:17:47 > 0:17:48Well, I'll show them!

0:17:48 > 0:17:51When they get a load of my catchily-named

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Semi-Mechanical Analogue Television Device,

0:17:53 > 0:17:57no-one will ever leave the house again!

0:17:57 > 0:18:01I wonder what programmes people will watch on my catchily-named

0:18:01 > 0:18:05Semi-Mechanical Analogue Television Device 80 years from now?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Look at your stupid face.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10You're stupid. Stu-pid! Stu-pid!

0:18:10 > 0:18:13You are the weakest link, goodbye.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17No, Big Brother! When I said I wanted Jaffa Cakes,

0:18:17 > 0:18:18I meant round ones!

0:18:18 > 0:18:21You've given me square ones! What am I supposed to do with that?!

0:18:21 > 0:18:24It's got four sides and everything!

0:18:24 > 0:18:28I don't know which way to start! This is a total catastrophe!

0:18:28 > 0:18:30HE CRIES

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Don't you EVER talk about my mother!

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Shut up, Phil! She ain't even your real mother!

0:18:45 > 0:18:47What have I done?!

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Llandudno!

0:18:50 > 0:18:55# The song! #

0:18:55 > 0:18:58DANCE MUSIC

0:19:00 > 0:19:02# Yeah, oh, look, the sun's out

0:19:02 > 0:19:05# Get your suntan lotion And your swimming trunks out

0:19:05 > 0:19:08# Grab a stick of rock and a donkey ride

0:19:08 > 0:19:11# Cos we do like to be beside the seaside

0:19:11 > 0:19:13# Yeah, we're in Llandudno

0:19:13 > 0:19:16# Going to tell you all some stuff That you didn't know

0:19:16 > 0:19:18# About this Welsh holiday location

0:19:18 > 0:19:21# So check out this amazing information

0:19:21 > 0:19:24# Llandudno-o-o!

0:19:24 > 0:19:26# It's the subject of our song

0:19:26 > 0:19:29# Llandudno-o-o!

0:19:29 > 0:19:31# Everything in it is quite long

0:19:31 > 0:19:34# The best place to start is right here

0:19:34 > 0:19:37# At the town's 700-metre-long pier

0:19:37 > 0:19:40# It was built in the Victorian era

0:19:40 > 0:19:43# And the view from the end couldn't be clearer

0:19:43 > 0:19:45# If you're looking for typical seaside action

0:19:45 > 0:19:48# Then the pier really is the main attraction

0:19:48 > 0:19:51# But if you try to find a longer one in Wales

0:19:51 > 0:19:53# I'm afraid that would result in a fail

0:19:53 > 0:19:55#Llandudno-o-o!

0:19:55 > 0:19:58# A pier that's number one

0:19:58 > 0:20:01# Llandudno-o-o!

0:20:01 > 0:20:04# And we've only just begun

0:20:04 > 0:20:06# If you want a nice view of the town

0:20:06 > 0:20:09# Take the cable car lift up and down

0:20:09 > 0:20:11# At over a kilometre each way

0:20:11 > 0:20:14# It's the longest aerial cabin lift in the UK

0:20:14 > 0:20:17# It's supported by nine towers

0:20:17 > 0:20:20# And goes 11 kilometres an hour

0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Man, this is really the place to go

0:20:23 > 0:20:25# Though not if you suffer from vertigo

0:20:25 > 0:20:27# Llandudno-o-o!

0:20:27 > 0:20:30# Cable car with a view

0:20:30 > 0:20:33# Llandudno-o-o!

0:20:33 > 0:20:36# That's long thing number two

0:20:36 > 0:20:39# If you're looking for something that's really fun

0:20:39 > 0:20:41# You could do worse than this toboggan run

0:20:41 > 0:20:44# It runs for 750 metres

0:20:44 > 0:20:47# There's no other Welsh toboggan run that can beat us

0:20:47 > 0:20:49# Check this out! The Punch And Judy show!

0:20:49 > 0:20:52# How can that be the longest though?

0:20:52 > 0:20:54# It's the longest-running Punch And Judy

0:20:54 > 0:20:56# I knew it! Hit it, Punch! #

0:20:56 > 0:20:57That's the way to do it!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59# Llandudno-o-o!

0:20:59 > 0:21:02# That's long things three and four

0:21:02 > 0:21:05# Llandudno-o-o!

0:21:05 > 0:21:08# Don't think there's any more

0:21:08 > 0:21:10# Llandudno-o-o!

0:21:10 > 0:21:13# It's on the North Wales coast

0:21:13 > 0:21:15# Llandudno-o-o!

0:21:15 > 0:21:18# Of long things It's got the most. #

0:21:20 > 0:21:21Eynsham!

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Oh, I love wearing fancy dress. Man servant, where are you?

0:21:31 > 0:21:35Your queen is ready to greet her people.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Ahem. Firstly, I'm not your man servant.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Secondly, why are you dressed like that?

0:21:40 > 0:21:41Oh, don't say I've done it again!

0:21:41 > 0:21:45I thought we were supposed to wear fancy dress for this race!

0:21:45 > 0:21:48Naomi, this is the Eynsham Shirt Race,

0:21:48 > 0:21:52and I've come very smartly dressed in a nice, crisp shirt.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54- Oh.- Oh, indeed!

0:21:55 > 0:21:59It appears there's been a hilarious misunderstanding.

0:21:59 > 0:22:00Yes, Ed.

0:22:00 > 0:22:05Although it's called the Shirt Race, people don't race in shirts.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07They race in fancy dress. You need...

0:22:11 > 0:22:15The rules are simple. One person pushes while the other person sits,

0:22:15 > 0:22:18and they must take turns pushing over a course of two kilometres.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20It's a shame I didn't know.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23I'll have to stand at the side of the road, cheer you on,

0:22:23 > 0:22:26- watch you get hot and sweaty. - Not so fast, Ed.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27- Oh.- It's your size.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30- Are we going to be on the same team?- Yeah.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Brilliant! We don't normally do that.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Yeah, it'll be good. - I might win!

0:22:34 > 0:22:36What are we using for wheels?

0:22:36 > 0:22:39Er, a pram, a wheelbarrow, go-kart?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Pram!- I just said that. - No, no, look!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Perfect! An empty pram.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45- Whose is that? - Doesn't matter.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Do you think we're going to fit in there?

0:22:47 > 0:22:52Don't worry, I'm very, very handy at this sort of thing.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57There are 40 teams taking part today in three different categories,

0:22:57 > 0:22:59men's, lady's and mixed.

0:22:59 > 0:23:03Ed and Naomi are taking part in the mixed team category.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- How are you feeling? - Me? Like a king!

0:23:07 > 0:23:10I feel hot. I hope they've got a drink for us.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14It'd be nice if they had some drinks around.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Funny you should mention that.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22I know, strange rule.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23I'm in the wrong place.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26I'm leaving you at this point, aren't I?

0:23:26 > 0:23:30- You go down there, and I meet you down the bottom.- You take the staff.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32- My king's staff! - I'll be waiting for you.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34- OK.- Run fast, OK?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Well, I'll run as fast as I can in a heavy velvet costume.

0:23:41 > 0:23:45Is this where the elite athletes start the race?

0:23:45 > 0:23:48If it is, I think I'd better go back a bit.

0:23:48 > 0:23:53On your marks, Shirt Racers, get set, go!

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Oh, my goodness! I'm nervous.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Ed!- Queen Naomi, where are you?!

0:24:09 > 0:24:10Here!

0:24:10 > 0:24:12I hope he doesn't weigh too much.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Right, get in.- Woo!

0:24:14 > 0:24:18Never mind that, Ed, you almost got run over by a giant banana!

0:24:23 > 0:24:24This is chaos!

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Our team have tackled the speed bumps

0:24:26 > 0:24:30and are fast approaching lemonade stop number one.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35- Quick, quick! - I'm out of breath.- Quick, quick!

0:24:35 > 0:24:37This is the slowest drinking ever!

0:24:37 > 0:24:40I could absorb it through my skin faster than this!

0:24:40 > 0:24:42We're losing time!

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Stop making me laugh. It's going through my nose.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Here we go! Here we go!

0:24:47 > 0:24:50One lemonade down, six more to go.

0:24:50 > 0:24:54- Get out of my way, Tom and Jerry! - Tom and Jerry! No way!

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Wooo!

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Stop number two. Ed's turn to drink.

0:25:07 > 0:25:08BURPING

0:25:12 > 0:25:13I'm going to be sick.

0:25:14 > 0:25:20Whoa! Poor Noddy. Wrong place at the wrong time.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31Yeah! Here we go!

0:25:31 > 0:25:34BURPING

0:25:34 > 0:25:36There it is.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40Come on, Ed. This is your last lemonade.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42I really don't want to drink this.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hey, Ed.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46What do you give an injured lemon?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48NAOMI LAUGHS

0:25:48 > 0:25:50This is not the time

0:25:50 > 0:25:52for your lemonade joke.

0:25:52 > 0:25:57Oh, I get it. You give an injured lemon lemon-AID.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02BURPING

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Oh, steady!

0:26:08 > 0:26:09Arrr!

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Ed and Naomi are racing the pirates

0:26:11 > 0:26:14to what they think is the finish line.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Is that the end, or do you drink more?

0:26:21 > 0:26:25No time for sitting down, you have to drink one more lemonade.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30Nearly there. Come on, so close!

0:26:30 > 0:26:32So close!

0:26:32 > 0:26:34She's done it! Yes!

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Queen Naomi and King Ed have officially finished the Shirt Race.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40- Where's the nearest hospital? - Let a big burp out.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43I wish I could! I really need to do a burp.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47I haven't done one the whole round. Ugh.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48ED BURPS

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I might be sick.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52I'm just showing off.

0:26:52 > 0:26:56Tell us, aunt Sally, where did we come in the mixed category?

0:26:56 > 0:26:58You were second.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00ED AND NAOMI CHEER

0:27:00 > 0:27:01- Yes!- Woo-hoo!

0:27:01 > 0:27:04How many people were in the mixed category?

0:27:04 > 0:27:07- Three.- Oh. Let's pretend you didn't say that.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10- That wasn't last. - Don't tell anybody.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12- Silver medals all round. - BOTH: Hooray!

0:27:12 > 0:27:17King Ed, Queen Naomi, I present you your trophy.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21- Oh, thank you! - Aw! Isn't that nice?

0:27:21 > 0:27:24- We get a round of applause from the cows.- Naomi?

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Push me to the newsagents - lemonades for everyone!

0:27:27 > 0:27:30You've been watching All Over The Place.

0:27:33 > 0:27:37Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd