0:00:02 > 0:00:05Get set for a rip-roaring rampage around the UK.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Ed and Naomi have the best seat in the house,
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Johny goes to the dogs,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Andy has a scout around,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Rani hunts for some shoes,
0:00:15 > 0:00:17and Barney is thirsty for success.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# All over the place
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# All over the place
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest
0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Me and my mates all over the place
0:00:30 > 0:00:32# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Whatever we do is strange but true!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# All over the place
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# All over the place
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK
0:00:43 > 0:00:47# But it turns up all over the place. #
0:00:47 > 0:00:49This is beautiful, Ed. Where are we?
0:00:49 > 0:00:50This is Leeds Castle, Johny.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Leeds? Yorkshire? I'm at home.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Ho-ho! How's about that, then?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Yeah, very nice.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hold on a minute. It doesn't look like Yorkshire.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01HE SNIFFS
0:01:01 > 0:01:03It doesn't smell like Yorkshire.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Now for the ultimate test.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09It doesn't taste like Yorkshire.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11That's cos we're not in Yorkshire.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Leeds Castle is in Kent, about 200 miles from Yorkshire.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Leeds Castle is almost 900 years old
0:01:18 > 0:01:21and has been called the loveliest castle in the world.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26It's been added to and given make-overs by many kings and queens.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30In the 13th century, Edward I built some of the castle's defences,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32though obviously not personally.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Henry VIII turned it into a royal palace in 1512
0:01:35 > 0:01:37for his first wife, Catherine of Aragon
0:01:37 > 0:01:41and it was bought by a wealthy American in the 1920s
0:01:41 > 0:01:43and spruced right up,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47before being used as a military hospital during World War II.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51I wonder what Nick Knowles would have done with the place.
0:01:55 > 0:02:01I'm Nick Knowles. The year's 1278 and this is Castle Makeover Challenge.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08I'm here at Leeds Castle with its current owner, King Edward I.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11So, Teddy, I gather you want to make a few changes.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Yes, well, the castle recently became a royal castle,
0:02:14 > 0:02:16so I wanted to add some defensive structures -
0:02:16 > 0:02:19a barbican, a drawbridge, a portcullis.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Great. Well, I think you're going to love what we've done with it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28OK, Tedster, you can take a look now.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34What we've done is, we've brought in a few soft furnishings
0:02:34 > 0:02:36to give the place a more relaxed feel.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38What do you think?
0:02:38 > 0:02:39GET OUT!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- ECHO:- Get out! Get out...!
0:02:42 > 0:02:47234 years later, Nick's back with a new challenge.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49HE PLAYS A FANFARE
0:02:51 > 0:02:56I'm Nick Knowles. The year's 1512 and this is Castle Makeover Challenge.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00I'm here in Leeds Castle with the current owner, Henry VIII.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Now, mate, I gather you're looking to make some changes.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yes, well, I just recently married Catherine of Aragon
0:03:05 > 0:03:09so I need to make some changes fit for a Tudor queen.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Great. Well, I think you're going to love what we've done.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14HE PLAYS ANOTHER FANFARE
0:03:17 > 0:03:19OK, big guy, you can take a look now.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25So what we've done is, we've brought in a few soft...
0:03:25 > 0:03:27GET OUT!
0:03:27 > 0:03:30ECHO: Get out! Get out...!
0:03:30 > 0:03:34400 years later and Nick's at it again.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I'm Nick Knowles, here at Leeds Castle,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41which has been requisitioned by the Royal Air Force.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44They've turned it into a hospital for injured airmen.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47It's World War II and this is Castle Makeover Challenge.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49AIR RAID SIREN
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Right, stop that noise! I'm the Air Chief Marshall.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54We all know where this is going to go.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- But I brought in a few soft... - GET OUT!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59And, you lot - ATTEN-SHUN!
0:03:59 > 0:04:00They give a more relaxed...
0:04:00 > 0:04:01GET OUT!
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- ECHO:- Get out! Get out...!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07There's lots to see here, Johny. There's an aviary with birds in it.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09It's not a Yorkshire, Ed.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10OK, well, there's a picnic area,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13although only food and drink bought on the premises
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- may be consumed here. - Still not Yorkshire, lad.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18All right, well, there's a dog collar museum.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20What?!
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I never noticed that before.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27The museum has over 100 dog collars in its collection,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30which covers 500 years of doggie decoration.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33That's not to be sniffed at.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35What a weird subject for a museum.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37It's so bizarre. Look at these ones.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Small head!
0:04:42 > 0:04:43THEY LAUGH
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Wow! Talk about doggie bling. That's incredible.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I'd wear one of those around MY neck.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Yeah, I think it'd look pretty good.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57You know, these are about 300 years old.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58That's amazing! Look at them.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Yeah, I know. They come from Germany and Austria.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- Must've had some fashionable dogs back then.- Tell me about it!
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Can you imagine them walking down the catwalk?
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Actually, can you get a dog down a catwalk?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Und here is ze latest fashion all ze way from Germany.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18It is a leather collar encrusted with diamante,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21a must-have for the designer accessory pooches of Bavaria,
0:05:21 > 0:05:26as modelled by Herr Boy und his dog, Herr Ball.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Look at that one - there's a padlock on that. Pretty hardcore!
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Yeah, dogs were a lot more security-conscious back then.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37They used to sell these in the 1850s in London markets.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40For those preferring more of a Cockerney look,
0:05:40 > 0:05:44here's what's all the rage in the East End of London,
0:05:44 > 0:05:47a tasteful brass range with a padlock accessory,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49fashionable and practical,
0:05:49 > 0:05:53as modelled by Barry Boy and his dog, Cheeky Chappie.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Ha! Look, they've even got collars for punk dogs. Rock on!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Yeah, or Goths. Goth dogs would like these as well.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- I'll tell you what these are actually for.- Go on.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Did you know that dogs were sometimes attacked by wild wolves?
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- Really? So this is like doggie battle armour?- Basically, yeah.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15And here we see an example from the protection collection.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19This really is the must-have look of the season with the added value
0:06:19 > 0:06:24of defending the delicate neck area, so popular with the wild animals.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28These are beautifully modelled by Frazer Sharp and his dog, Spike.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33You know what, Ed? It might not be Yorkshire,
0:06:33 > 0:06:36but I've got to admit I've had a great time here. It's brilliant.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Oh, cool! I'm glad you liked it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41You see, there are some places in the UK just as nice as Yorkshire.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Don't talk so daft, lad!
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Ah! I love getting out into the fresh air.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57I've got blisters, my blisters have got blisters.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Oh, come on. You love camping, really.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Oh, yeah, I love camping(!)
0:07:01 > 0:07:04What's the point when you've got a perfectly good house at home?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Oh, good. You can stop your rambling. We're here.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Ed is never going to stop rambling, or moaning,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13and I can't understand it because this is gorgeous.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Ed and Naomi, you have 47 seconds to find out as much as you can
0:07:20 > 0:07:23about Chiltern Open Air Museum.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Naomi, you've got Sue, who's the director at the museum.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Ed, you've got Heather, who's a volunteer.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Three, two, one, go!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Right, Sue, let's go.- Hi. - What is the oldest building here?
0:07:40 > 0:07:44Well, the oldest building is the Iron Age House because it's re-erected.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46They're old. Why not build new stuff?
0:07:46 > 0:07:47They're far too precious.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Why have the buildings been restored here?
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's important to save them.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55They've been knocked down elsewhere so we built them here to show people.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56There's scaffolding over there.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Are you building new buildings and lying to people?
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- We're rebuilding an old one. - Oh, good. Well done, you!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Is it very chilly in Chiltern often?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Oh, very chilly in the wintertime.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07- It says you're a volunteer.- I am.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Don't you get paid to work here?- No.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Amazing! Can I be a volunteer?- Yes.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Great! I'm quite busy, so probably won't.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Which building was the most expensive to renovate?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19The one at the entrance called the Astleham Manor Cottage.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21It cost about £100,000.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Why are so many buildings made from wood? They'll burn down.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25HOOTER BUZZES
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I don't think I did very well.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32And the person that found out the most facts is...
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Ed!
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Ohhh!
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Really?! Really?!
0:08:36 > 0:08:37Gutted.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Oh, wow, I can't believe I did that!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh, he's never going to let me live this down.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I thought I was absolutely appalling. Ha ha!
0:08:43 > 0:08:4633 is the magic number...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Right, let's find out more about this place.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58They reckon this used to be stables
0:08:58 > 0:09:01but at some point it became a house and a shoe shop.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Oh, wow!
0:09:02 > 0:09:05You wouldn't need the gym with stuff this heavy.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- I wouldn't touch that as it might be...- Owww!
0:09:09 > 0:09:12It's all right. It's not turned on!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Where's the flush for this thing?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, no, they didn't have flushes.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19You've just got to put soil on it after you've been.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Urgh! And where's the toilet paper?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, I seem to have some in here,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26some nice pieces of non-scratchy newspap...
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Ed, you're not actually using this as a toilet, are you?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Er, no. Ha!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Don't be stupid!
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Actually, why have I got the door open?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38HE FARTS AND GROANS
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Yeah, I want to find out about this. It looks like a giant teepee.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43It's a bit like our tent, isn't?
0:09:43 > 0:09:47I think you'll find it's actually a reconstructed Iron Age roundhouse
0:09:47 > 0:09:51from around 2500BC, to be precise.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- Thank you very much, Professor(!) - You're welcome.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56It does make you wonder, though, doesn't it?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- What was life like for the poor people who had to live in that?- Hmm.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Hey there. I'm Ed Petrie. I'm going to show you around my crib.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12This is my state-of-the-art security system.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17It's to keep my dogs and oxen in, and wild rampaging bears out.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19It doesn't work all the time.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Last week, my brother was eaten by a bear.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24That's the back door but I think
0:10:24 > 0:10:28you're going to find it much more impressive round the front.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Take your muddy shoes off and find yourself a corner!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34I'm joking. It's a roundhouse.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37There are no corners and the floor's made of cobbles and mud anyway
0:10:37 > 0:10:38so leave your shoes on.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Now, this is where the magic happ...
0:10:40 > 0:10:42ED COUGHS VIOLENTLY
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Sorry about that. It's the price I pay
0:10:44 > 0:10:48for my top-of-the-range heating and lighting system.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Gets smoky in here cos there's no hole in the ceiling but still,
0:10:52 > 0:10:55it keeps out the vermin. Ooh, talking of vermin.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57You need to clean this floor better. It's filthy.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Well, what do you expect?
0:10:59 > 0:11:02It's made of cobbles and mud.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Yeah, I know. I was joking.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Anyway, I'm just going to hit the fridge
0:11:07 > 0:11:11because this place is stocked to the max, with wild garlic.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13HE EXHALES
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Don't worry about my breath, you won't smell it.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18No, but I do. It stinks.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21It's covered in Iron Age daub or straw and cow poo,
0:11:21 > 0:11:22as it's also known.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Cow poo?!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Yeah, so wild garlic is the least of your worries.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Are you having a laugh?
0:11:28 > 0:11:34I'm not living in a house that's made of poo. This is ridiculous.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Oh, no, hang on! Don't go out there. My brother was eaten by a...
0:11:37 > 0:11:38GROWLING
0:11:38 > 0:11:39SHE SCREAMS
0:11:39 > 0:11:41..bear.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I did try and tell her.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44You saw.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56'Do you know who this is, Andy?'
0:11:56 > 0:11:57'No idea.'
0:11:57 > 0:12:00'This is Lord Baden Powell. He invented the Scouts.'
0:12:00 > 0:12:02'He invented them?'
0:12:02 > 0:12:04'Yeah, well, he started it all.'
0:12:04 > 0:12:06'Why is he here in Poole harbour, then?'
0:12:06 > 0:12:09'Because over there is Brownsea Island which is where
0:12:09 > 0:12:11'the first ever Scout camp was held.'
0:12:11 > 0:12:13'Hm, nice view.'
0:12:13 > 0:12:18# Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag...
0:12:18 > 0:12:21'There's now over 28 million Scouts in the whole world.'
0:12:21 > 0:12:23'That's a whole lot of badges.'
0:12:26 > 0:12:29'How many badges have you got, Andy?'
0:12:29 > 0:12:31'I've got loads.'
0:12:31 > 0:12:32'I reckon I've got more than you.'
0:12:32 > 0:12:35'Let's have a look, then.'
0:12:35 > 0:12:37'Best dancer badge? That doesn't sound right.'
0:12:37 > 0:12:40'Well, it is. Believe me. Check this out.'
0:12:43 > 0:12:45'Hold on. Cake eating badge?'
0:12:48 > 0:12:50'Fake laughing badge?'
0:12:52 > 0:12:54'Bad loser badge?'
0:12:57 > 0:13:00'Best TV presenter badge? Oi, mate, these are all made up.'
0:13:00 > 0:13:03'No. They're not. Anyway, what have you got?'
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- 'Camping in dangerous places badge.' - 'I'm pretty tough, me.'
0:13:07 > 0:13:10The most dangerous place to camp would be the moon
0:13:10 > 0:13:13because if it was a half moon, you'd have nowhere to put your tent
0:13:13 > 0:13:15and then you'd probably slide off.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18If you set up your tent and you forgot your peg
0:13:18 > 0:13:21and you went inside, the tent would just float away.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23You wouldn't be able to build a campfire
0:13:23 > 0:13:25because it would just float away.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29If you wanted to cook, you'd maybe have a packet of sausages
0:13:29 > 0:13:31and go "doooo" by the sun.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33You wouldn't be able to eat anything
0:13:33 > 0:13:37as it would just go, "Clink, clink," off the helmet.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I tell you, this run of bad luck I'm having is getting ridiculous.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51I mean...
0:13:51 > 0:13:52SQUELCHING
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Oh, not again!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57I've been having bad luck all week and it just keeps getting wor...
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Arrrgh!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Ohhh! I'm a liability!
0:14:01 > 0:14:04I know, honey, but that's why I've brought you here
0:14:04 > 0:14:06to Oakham Castle, to change your luck.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08How's a castle going to change my luck?
0:14:08 > 0:14:12This place is full of things that are recognised as lucky symbols.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15But, before we go in, let's get that lollipop out of your hair.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- RIIIP! - AAAARGH!
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Oh, this is amazing!- Yeah.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39It's like a luck factory, where luck comes from, the home of luck!
0:14:39 > 0:14:42This is why we're here. Ed, Jeremy. Jeremy, Ed.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44- Jeremy looks after the collection. - Really?- Yeah.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47You must be the luckiest man in the world!
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Let's hope your luck rubs off on me.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52It'd probably be better if I stood next to horseshoes.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54They're even luckier. Begone, bad luck!
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Sorry.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13All these horseshoes have some sort of nobility or aristocracy
0:15:13 > 0:15:15attached to them.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17That's why some have crowns on them?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Why don't you have a go at finding all the different ones?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Hm.- Detective work.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25OK, even though you two are normally clueless,
0:15:25 > 0:15:30let's play the great horseshoe detective challenge.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Rani, you're up first.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Find the oldest.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40OK, how hard can that be? Some actually have dates on them. 1890...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42OK, Ed, your turn.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Find the most recent.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Most recent? Most recent.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Er, it's probably got neon lights on it and things like that,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50fairy lights.
0:15:50 > 0:15:541804, no, no. '67...
0:15:54 > 0:15:551470!
0:15:55 > 0:15:581470, from Edward IV. Yes, I am right!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Find the red one.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03A red one? A red trim - will that do you?
0:16:06 > 0:16:092003, that's pretty new, isn't?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12I think I've spotted it. Is it a diddy one?
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh, no, hang on. 2005.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18That one. 2005, I reckon.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20That's pretty good.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Find a wooden one.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Wooden one, wooden one, erm...
0:16:24 > 0:16:25A diddy one in the corner.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Yes?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32They're all made of metal! None of these are wood.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36I would class it as slightly maroon, not just quite red.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Oh, I give up. I give up! I don't know. I don't know!
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Me, Jeremy, I'm the winner? I'm so pleased.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45It's just amazing, the magnifier, I'm just so happy I won.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I won and luck had nothing to do with it.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Ooooh!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Ooh, I know. Huffy!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59..which is made of wood,
0:16:59 > 0:17:00and Ed couldn't find it.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Hang on, I know why I didn't win that game.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03Cos you're rubbish?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05No! Not because I'm rubbish.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08It's because these horseshoes are hung the wrong way round.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Ed's right. Horseshoes are supposed to be hung the other way round,
0:17:11 > 0:17:13so they can carry luck.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16But no-one knows why these ones are hung this way.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17The mystery continues!
0:17:17 > 0:17:21This isn't lucky. This isn't lucky at all. I'm getting out of here.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22CLANG!
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Now that was lucky. That could have hit me.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29So many horseshoes but what shoes would a horse choose,
0:17:29 > 0:17:32if a horse was to lose its shoes and could choose shoes?
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Oh, wow, look at all these shoes! This is brilliant!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Hello, can I help you?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Yeah, I want the coolest, most exciting pair of shoes ever.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52Well, I've got these flip-flops. You stick this bit between your toes.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Only I haven't got toes. I've got a hoof.
0:17:56 > 0:18:01Yeah, you need less of a flip-flop, more of a clip-clop.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03ED SNORTS
0:18:03 > 0:18:06OK, I've got these lovely slippers.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Why would I want to slip anywhere?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Might as well get a pair of fally-overs or trippity-uppers.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15How about these moon boots?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17When was the last time you saw a horse on the moon?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20How many horses have you seen in a shoe shop?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Right, that's it. I'm off down the blacksmith's.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Right, yeah, where they take big metal plates like these
0:18:27 > 0:18:31and take a big hammer and nail them into your little hooves.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Hey, they're your feet.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Actually, those flip-flops could work, if I glued them on.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45And people say, "Why the long face?"
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Have you got them in size eight?
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Oi!
0:19:02 > 0:19:05# I'm Sir Lionel Lyde, a wealthy man
0:19:05 > 0:19:08# If I want to buy something, I can
0:19:08 > 0:19:10# And back in the 1770s
0:19:10 > 0:19:13# Bought a title and a manor house, near Welwyn, see?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16# Liked the house, but for a lark
0:19:16 > 0:19:18# Built a Georgian mansion in a nearby park
0:19:18 > 0:19:21# A tasteful pad, sure you'll agree
0:19:21 > 0:19:25# And I thought to myself, "That'll do for meeeeee!"
0:19:25 > 0:19:27# A nice big house in the countryside
0:19:27 > 0:19:30# Built by me, Sir Lionel Lyde
0:19:30 > 0:19:33# Just one problem when I stepped inside
0:19:33 > 0:19:35# A beautiful view had been denied
0:19:35 > 0:19:38# When I looked out across that lawn
0:19:38 > 0:19:40# My heart came over all forlorn
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# Slap bang in the middle of my lovely view
0:19:43 > 0:19:46# The church of Ayot St Lawrence What's a man to do?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49# Obvious answer was knock it down
0:19:49 > 0:19:51# Quickly while no-one's around
0:19:51 > 0:19:54# It seemed the sensible option to me
0:19:54 > 0:19:58# But the Bishop of Lincoln didn't agreeeeeee
0:20:00 > 0:20:03# Where's my church in the countryside?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06# You can't do this, Sir Lionel Lyde
0:20:06 > 0:20:09# Demolition I can't abide
0:20:09 > 0:20:11# To build us another You are obliged
0:20:16 > 0:20:19# So I thought to myself, "Right, Bish, we'll see"
0:20:19 > 0:20:21# How this church looked Yeah, it's up to me
0:20:21 > 0:20:24# So after I had a little think for a while
0:20:24 > 0:20:27# I built it in the neoclassical style
0:20:27 > 0:20:30# Cos I've got to look at it all day long
0:20:30 > 0:20:32# I made it nice How can that be wrong?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35# It looks like a temple All flamboyant
0:20:35 > 0:20:39# But only when you look at it from the fronnnnt
0:20:39 > 0:20:41# A big new church in the countryside
0:20:41 > 0:20:44# Looks really good Well, it does from this side
0:20:44 > 0:20:47# Round the back I think you'll find
0:20:47 > 0:20:49# For the locals, it's a little less refined... #
0:20:50 > 0:20:52What? I'm them as well?
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Ugh...
0:20:55 > 0:21:00# Where Sir Lionel's view ends This old redbrick does begin
0:21:00 > 0:21:05# And so we don't disturb his view This is where we go in... #
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'm Lionel again, yeah?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10And his wife?! Oh, come on!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17# A big new church in the countryside
0:21:17 > 0:21:20# For Lionel and his not-so-darling bride
0:21:20 > 0:21:22# To gaze upon till the day they die
0:21:22 > 0:21:25# They were buried in tombs on opposite sides
0:21:25 > 0:21:28# That's the story of Sir Lionel Lyde
0:21:28 > 0:21:30# And this unusual church
0:21:30 > 0:21:33# In the countryyyyyy...
0:21:33 > 0:21:35# ..side. #
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Ugh!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I'm so hungry, Barney.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Mate, I'm starving. Did you hear that thunder before?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- Yeah.- Wasn't thunder. My belly.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52- Really?- Yeah.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55No surprise. Half an hour and nobody's taken our order.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I know. Where have all the waiters gone?
0:21:58 > 0:21:59They're probably here...
0:22:10 > 0:22:13They must be exhausted!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15The course is flat, which is lucky
0:22:15 > 0:22:18as the competitors have to carry a drink on a tray.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19The winner of the race
0:22:19 > 0:22:21is the waiter who spills
0:22:21 > 0:22:23the least drink from their cup,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26so fastest is not always best.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I'm a waiter today. Why are you dressed like one?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31I'm taking part in the waiter race.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32I'm doing the waiter race.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Though, fortunately for them, dribbling is allowed.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It's been a while since I was a waiter.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Let's go and see if I can pick up a few suggestions.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Roxy has won this race two years in a row,
0:22:46 > 0:22:49mainly cos she's on an emu. I suppose that helps,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52but speed isn't always necessarily the way to this race, is it?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55No, if you run too fast, you'll spill too much liquid
0:22:55 > 0:22:56and that's how you lose, really.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Hello, you lot, can I take your order?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Oh, you've already got food.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Just practicing.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I was thinking I could drink the juice and run with it.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- Think that would work?- No.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10You need good hand skills.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I've got great hands.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Feel those. Soft as a baby's bum.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Have you got any idea how I'm going to win this race?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Cheat.- That's my kind of language.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- BOTH:- OK, let's start training.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29To help the boys prepare for the waiters' race,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31we've set up an obstacle course.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Look out for the hazards...
0:23:33 > 0:23:35an angry chef,
0:23:35 > 0:23:38a can of potential trip,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40and wobbly jelly.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I hope Barney doesn't get hit by the big hand that pointing at his tray.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47He's picking up the jelly and putting it on the tray,
0:23:47 > 0:23:49It's literally on the tray, not on the plate.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50What are you doing?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Oh, the angry chef! Watch out!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55He's ducking, bobbing, weaving, diving, round the tree.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57He's missed the chef and is on the home straight.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Oh, it's the can of trip. He's over it. Remarkable!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02But he's dropped his plate.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05He's now heading for the finish line Look at Ed, he's looking worried.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Who can blame him with that angry chef?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09What's going on here?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Barney's cheating, holding Ed back,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14but Ed's off and he's got the jelly and it stays on the tray.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Nice technique, Ed.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18But what's going to happen with the angry chef?
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Oh, he's really terrified but he's round him and he's round the tree.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Oh, great technique, holding on to the tree.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27What technique's he going to use on the can? Oh, a big run-up at it.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29He's hit the can of trip.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32He's tripped! Oh, no, he's tripped!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35He's blown it. Ed has blown the whole thing.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37The jelly's on the floor. It's all over.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39You're going down, Petrie.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41No. You're going down.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- IMITATES JOHN ANDERSON: - Contenders, are you ready?
0:24:50 > 0:24:51It's time to race waiters.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53I'm a bit worried I might fall over.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Yeah, a couple of people have fallen over before.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57- Have they?- Yeah.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- Serious injuries?- Yeah. - Really?- Yeah.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09And they're off to an equally flying start.
0:25:15 > 0:25:20Oh, ho-ho! That is one fizzy, fizzy drink!
0:25:22 > 0:25:24You've got to get all the liquid back, haven't you?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26How are you...
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Hang on, what's Barney up to?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Oh, I think he's going to put the drink in his stomach
0:25:31 > 0:25:35and he won't spill it, but it's meant to stay in your glass, Barney!
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Hang on, if whoever's got the most liquid wins,
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I'm going to get as much in here as I can.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42That's right, Ed.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45You should remind your fellow TV presenter of the rules.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49I think all that gas in your stomach will give you jet propulsion.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Ed's taking it slow and steady.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03But Barney, he's just slurping.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Oh, I can't believe this.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09I've got all of mine. It's in here, though.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Everyone else in the race has finished,
0:26:12 > 0:26:14except for careful Ed, who's not spilled a single drop.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16Well, that was an interesting race.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Quick start, cheeky monkey,
0:26:19 > 0:26:24steady Eddie, but will Barney's thirst to win backfire on him?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28He's been disqualified.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Been disqualified?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Yes, Barney, disqualified!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34You're meant to race with your drink in the cup.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Nice try, though. Cheat!
0:26:37 > 0:26:40That's never happened on the show before. That's a first.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43I've never been disqualified in my life.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45What, for anything, ever?
0:26:45 > 0:26:47It was worth it, though. I was really thirsty.
0:26:47 > 0:26:52With Barney - cheat - out of the game, let's see how Ed's got on.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Oh, congratulations!
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Second place, Ed, not bad at all.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Barney - cheat - will be fizzing,
0:27:00 > 0:27:01just like his drink.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Well, Dave, I think we know the answer to this
0:27:04 > 0:27:06but it's music to my ears. Who won?
0:27:06 > 0:27:09I think the winner of this competition would be you, Ed.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Oh, thank you very much.- Well done. - Do I get to keep the tips?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14- Oh, yes, indeed.- Lovely.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16- What did you get?- Wind.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Since I beat Barney Harwood, he has to wait on me hand and foot.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Garcon!
0:27:22 > 0:27:25Garcon, where is my jelly, cream and biscuits?
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Coming, sir.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Whoa! Oh!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so...
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Oh, I really am a TRIFLE sorry, sir.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37Sorry.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40You've been watching All Over The Place!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd