0:00:02 > 0:00:04Sit back and enjoy the UK's weirdest road trip,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06as Ed and Iain go pea shooting...
0:00:06 > 0:00:09- Don't put me off, this is the world championship.- Sorry.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- ..Andy gets a bear hug... - I'm feeling the love.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14..Barney goes Gaga...
0:00:14 > 0:00:16and Naomi shuts Ed's cakehole.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24# All over the place All over the place
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Me and my mates, all over the place!
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Whatever we do is strange but true!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38# All over the place All over the place
0:00:40 > 0:00:42# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- # But it turns up... - # ..all over the place! #
0:00:48 > 0:00:49I wonder where Ed is.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- Argh!- Oh!
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- Ed, what are you doing?! - I thought you said
0:00:56 > 0:00:59there's something magical about this station.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Ed, you're in a MUGGLE.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03It's not wizard magic, it's just magic,
0:01:03 > 0:01:06because it's the world's smallest public railway.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- And here's our train, Ed. - We're not there yet.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17We have to walk to it first. It's over there.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Now, it's right here in front of us. - No, it's over... Ow!
0:01:20 > 0:01:25It's a normal train, it's just a third of the size, scaled down.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27The carriages are so small...
0:01:31 > 0:01:33A bit of a squeeze!
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Ho, ho!
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Who came up with the idea for this? This is absolutely barmy.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- I think it was a couple of millionaires.- Eccentric millionaires?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Yeah. Too much money, didn't know what to do with it,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52and thought, "I know, I'll make a nice mini railway."
0:01:52 > 0:01:56I wonder how two millionaire racing drivers from the 1920s
0:01:56 > 0:01:58dreamt up that idea.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- By Jove, we really are uncommonly rich.- We certainly are.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07About as rich as two very rich, super-posh racing car drivers,
0:02:07 > 0:02:08if you ask me.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11We are two very rich, super-posh racing car drivers!
0:02:11 > 0:02:15THEY GUFFAW
0:02:15 > 0:02:16But here's a question for you,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18what are we going to do with our spare money?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Hmm, that is a toughie.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- Hmm.- Hmm.- Hmm.- Hmm.
0:02:29 > 0:02:30TRAIN WHISTLES
0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Jeepers, Louis! The answer was in front of us the whole time!- Tea!
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- No! This is what were going to spend our spare cash on.- Magazines!- No.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41We are going to build a brand-new, spanking miniature public railway.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Well, tickle my tummy with a toothbrush and poke me in the eye,
0:02:44 > 0:02:46you've done it again, you clever old thing!
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Thanks, Louis. By designing and constructing a railway
0:02:50 > 0:02:52a third the size of a normal railway,
0:02:52 > 0:02:53ours will be just a little bit...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Faster?- No.- Cheaper?- No. - Faster?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59- No, smaller!- Oh.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02One third to be precise.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Of course, there are other miniature railways,
0:03:04 > 0:03:07so we should make ours 14 miles long.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11So it'll be by far the biggest smallest railway in the country.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Hang on, old chap. Are we building the biggest or the smallest?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Why, the biggest smallest, of course!
0:03:17 > 0:03:20It's time to play the biggest smallest game show in the UK,
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Millionaires On A Train.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24The rules are terribly, terribly simple.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26We've hidden objects that might have been used
0:03:26 > 0:03:30by millionaire from the 1920s on two railway station platforms.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35All you have to do is find them and the winner gets to drive the train.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Go!
0:03:43 > 0:03:46- What am I looking for? - Hurry along before the train leaves.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Where's the props? Have you seen 'em?- Oh, that's it!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51I reckon it's this! Ah-ha!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54They're all mine! They're mine, they're all mine!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- They're all mine.- No fair!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00All right, seeing as you lost that one,
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- you should look after all the luggage.- Right.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05There you go.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Ah, that's better. - I don't like this game!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Go!
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Right, I'm going to hold you back.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21THEY LAUGH
0:04:21 > 0:04:25Sorry! Looking for something to do with a 1920s millionaire.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Right. Where is it? - There's nothing here!
0:04:29 > 0:04:34- There must be.- Oh! Cakes and stuff! - Jelly! Oh, no!
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Oh, no, this is going to be really hard to carry!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Guess who's going to be driving the train? Toot-toot!
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Shh!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50TRAIN WHISTLES
0:04:50 > 0:04:53MUSIC: "Bohemian Like You" by The Dandy Warhols
0:04:57 > 0:04:59I'm driving the train!
0:05:00 > 0:05:02TRAIN TOOTS
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Whoa!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- Poop-poop! - TRAIN TOOTS
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Oh, Ed, I am excited about this fishing trip.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36- Have you got your sister's jacket on today?- No, I'm being economical.- Oh.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Rutland is England's smallest county.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41When I heard that, I thought I might not fit into it,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44with all my big stuff. I'm quite tall. So I got a small jacket.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- Got myself a small little hat.- Nice. - Scaled down the old fishing rod.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- OK.- And this is our lunch.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55It's small, but it's not THAT small, Ed.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Ed, are you all right, mate?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I'm starting to regret putting the small pants on.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05This is Rutland Reservoir.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11It's in England's smallest county, how ironic!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Normanton church is all that remains of three villages
0:06:14 > 0:06:15which used to be here.
0:06:15 > 0:06:20But don't worry, all the people were moved out before it was flooded.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Ed and Rani, you have 36 seconds to find out as much as you can
0:06:24 > 0:06:26about Rutland's reservoir.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Ed, you have Angela.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Rani, you have Andy.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Three, two, one... Go!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Hello. I have loads of questions about the chapel.- OK.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- Why is it sticking out in the water? - When the reservoir was built,
0:06:44 > 0:06:46the church was saved, so it's still here.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- When was Rutland reservoir built? - 1973.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Is it still used as a chapel? - It is, for weddings.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- I could get married there?- You can.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56I'm not planning to, but it's great to know.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- How much water does it hold? - When it's full, 124 billion litres.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Does the vicar have a boat? - No, he doesn't.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- How deep is it?- 35 metres deep. - What is it made of?- Sandstone.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08What about the circumference?
0:07:08 > 0:07:1125 miles around, taking in the peninsula.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13There's another church there, is it in the water?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- No, it's not. - BUZZER
0:07:15 > 0:07:19And the winner is...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Ed!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22- Oh!- Yes!
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Oh, yes! Thank you. Thank you, church.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30- What?- I'm going to throw you into that reservoir in a second.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42So, Rani, do you know why it looks so weird?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Not you, John, you live around here.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I don't think it looks weird. It's a perfectly formed...
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- It's not perfectly formed. The scale is all wrong.- Is it?
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Yeah, look. It's big at the top and then there's nothing at the bottom.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55It's completely out of scale.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59- So why is that the case?- Well, it's because they filled half of it with
0:07:59 > 0:08:03rubble and concrete, because half of that is underground and underwater.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Is this true, John?- That's the truth. - It's true. It's true.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- I thought I might see a few chimney pots out here.- No, no.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14They actually demolished the buildings.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Just as well all the villagers got re-housed
0:08:16 > 0:08:19before the valley got flooded.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22No-one would be daft enough to think they had to live underwater.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Or would they?- Hiya, Bob.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Hello. Got any bargains? - No, not really.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- You've been busy, what have you got?- Armbands.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I didn't know you couldn't swim.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35They're not for me, they're for my cousin, Archie.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- He's a terrible swimmer.- Right.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40So, um, what's that for?
0:08:40 > 0:08:45Ah, that isn't apparatus for breathing underwater.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48What you do is you put it on your head and then you got...
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I know that. It's a snorkel, but why have you bought it?
0:08:50 > 0:08:55It's not for me, it's for my auntie, Sandra. She loves to snorkel.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Whereas I, on the other hand, will be wearing these.
0:08:58 > 0:08:59Why?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Well, I'm not going to be wearing high heels, am I?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06So you're going on a family holiday then?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Oh, no, this is for when they come to visit me.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11In the village.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- After the flood.- You can't live here after the flood.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Why? Do you think the vicar will mind?- The vicar won't be here.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- Then they'll never know. - No, that's not what I mean.
0:09:22 > 0:09:27I mean this entire area is going to be the largest man-made lake
0:09:27 > 0:09:28in the entire country.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33It's going to be covered in 3,100 acres of water. No-one will be here!
0:09:33 > 0:09:38Well, in that case, I'll be the sole inhabitant...
0:09:38 > 0:09:41of the new Atlantis f the East Midlands!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Whilst the people of the future enjoy delightful bike rides
0:09:44 > 0:09:47along the shore of Rutland water, I will be watching,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49forever watching from my underwater village of wonder.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Where are you going to live? - I've already thought of that.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55I've ordered a submarine.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58It's only £129.99 and includes postage and packing
0:09:58 > 0:10:00and you get a free remote control, as well.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- It's a toy submarine.- Eh?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- It's 1 to 32 scale.- Eh?
0:10:05 > 0:10:06It's only two foot long!
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Hmm. You're right,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12it might be a bit cramped. I'll order one for the wife, as well.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Ed, welcome to Great Britain's smallest house, here in Conwy.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Wow!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33# All the small things... #
0:10:33 > 0:10:37It's just over three metres tall and 1.8 meters wide.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40# I'll take one lift... #
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Who would fit in a house like this?
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Well, the last person to fit here was a fisherman called Robert Jones.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48He must be small fry.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50In fact, he was a whopper - even taller than you, Ed.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# Watching, waiting... #
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I'm guessing this isn't your typical one up, one down.
0:10:56 > 0:11:01Upstairs, let's see, a dressing table, a bed, that's it.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06Well, downstairs, there's a fireplace and a seat.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Do you know what, Ed? You have to go outside to go the toilet.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11No wonder the fishermen moved out.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Looks a bit of a squeeze.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19- Maybe someone put the house in the wash and it shrunk.- Yikes.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22What if that happened to all buildings? Like the post office?
0:11:22 > 0:11:26- Or the baker's?- Or the cinema?
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Imagine if your school started shrinking!
0:11:29 > 0:11:32If my school started shrinking, it would be quite good.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34All the books would get tiny, you couldn't read,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36so you wouldn't have school.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38If we were in the canteen and the food shrank,
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I'd stuff it all in my mouth and try and run away.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43If we were in school and it shrank
0:11:43 > 0:11:45and we were sitting on a chair, it would break
0:11:45 > 0:11:48and the teacher would tell us off and would be very angry.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Did you just break that chair?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's not my fault, the school's shrinking!
0:11:52 > 0:11:56We'd try to lift the roof up, but in the end we'd have to run out
0:11:56 > 0:11:58and leave our teacher there to get squashed.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07What's wrong, Ed? You look a bit sad.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- I've lost something important to me. - What's that?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13The most important thing in my life. I'm losing sleep over it.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Come on, talk to Uncle Andy, what have you lost?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18ED MUMBLES Sorry, I can't hear you.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- It's my little... - Come on, speak up, what is it?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23It's my little Teddy Eddie!
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Your teddy bear?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26He has a name, you know!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29All right. Come with me, let's sort this out.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- I reckon you'll find it in here, though.- Yeah, maybe. Quiet, Andy.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Don't wake that bear up, could be dangerous.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57So, Jackie, you love teddy bears so much
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- that you actually opened your own museum with your collection.- I did.
0:13:01 > 0:13:05And this beautiful bear is our prized possession.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10He is very, very old. He dates to about 1906.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12- He's over 100 years old. - That's an old bear.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- He's older than my gran! - But isn't he cute?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Yeah, very nice. But you do have life-size teddy bears here,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- don't you?- We do.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- We have lots of life-size teddy bears.- Oh!- Don't do that!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- You scared me.- I scared- me! - That's Uncle.- Hello, Uncle.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26- He plays the piano.- Nice.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- He seems friendly enough. - He's friendly. And quite cuddly.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32But not as cuddly as these guys.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37- Is it all right to touch them? - Absolutely.- Get a look at that.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Oh! Oh, yeah. Feeling the love!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- That one's is even cuddlier.- I'll pick that one up.- Grab that one.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- They've got much bigger arms. - I'm getting sentimental.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48These are modern teddy bears?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- HE SCREAMS - Help, Jackie! Help!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53This one's wild, you didn't tell me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56I guess all these bears have their own little personalities, don't they?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Absolutely. And so many of them have been loved.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Some look a bit startled. Like this one up here.- Yes.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04That's cos some haven't got any clothes on.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08# Ready, ready, Ready Teddy I'm ready, ready, Ready Teddy
0:14:08 > 0:14:10# I'm ready, Ready Teddy To rock 'n' roll. #
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Would you look at the size of this! A proper Beefeater!
0:14:14 > 0:14:15It's the biggest one here.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18- And this is the smallest one. - Look at that guy.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- Bit of a difference. - Yeah. Do you think they get on?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22He looks a bit grumpy, I'm not sure they do.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I wonder who's winning the staring competition.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28A stare-off or a bear-off? Shall we have a bear-off?
0:14:28 > 0:14:32- Let's have a bear-off.- All right.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Hang on, guys, these bears don't actually ever move.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39This could go on for some time.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- This could go on for some time. - I said that!
0:14:41 > 0:14:45Don't you think it's weird these bears live in the same house
0:14:45 > 0:14:46and they've never met?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Hang on a minute, I feel a game show coming on!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Hello and welcome to I Bear-ly Know You,
0:14:52 > 0:14:56the show that reunites long-lost family and friends
0:14:56 > 0:14:59with someone who really couldn't give a stuff.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Now, we've just surprised Patricia in her home.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Isn't that right, Patricia?
0:15:05 > 0:15:09You have to speak up, I can BEAR-ly hear you.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Still quite shocked.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17We're going to reunite you with a bear you haven't seen for 15 years.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20By the wonders of satellite link-up, we're going to Leslie.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Hello, Leslie.
0:15:22 > 0:15:27Actually, it's Andy. OK, hi, guys. I'm with Bearnice.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Bearnice, how do you feel about seeing Patricia
0:15:29 > 0:15:33for the first time in 15 years?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38As you can see, someone's a bit choked up,
0:15:38 > 0:15:42so do you want to give a brother a hug? A bear hug? Come here.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Back to you in the studio.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Remember your cousin who you haven't seen for 15 years?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Well, you're going to see her now. Back to you, Leslie.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56My name is Andy!
0:15:56 > 0:16:01OK, hi. As you can see, I'm in the kitchen with the girls.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03This one is Bear Ninny.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Bear Ninny, how do you feel about seeing your cousin?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Seems the girls are a bit quiet, they are a bit shy.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Let's hope there hasn't been a falling out,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16cos things could get a bit GRIZZLY.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Back to the studio.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Oh, that's why he's called Winnie the Pooh.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23I just thought it was because he... Oh, we're back.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Now, are you ready for surprise guest number three?
0:16:27 > 0:16:32All right, have it your way. Back to you, Leslie.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34The name is ANDY!
0:16:36 > 0:16:41Hi, Sarah. The last time you saw Patricia, you were BEAR-ly walking.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Anything to say?
0:16:44 > 0:16:49No. Didn't think so. Back to the studio.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51You wouldn't catch me hibernating all winter,
0:16:51 > 0:16:54some of us have work to do. Oh, we're back.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Well, Patricia, I can now reveal that we are sending you
0:16:58 > 0:17:01on a teddy bear's picnic to celebrate your reunion.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07That was I Bear-ly Know You, and that's exactly how it remains.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Good night!
0:17:09 > 0:17:11- Andy, look at what I found!- What?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13You found your teddy, that's brilliant!
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- He must have climbed into my rucksack.- Yeah.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Not that I care anyway, I was only joking. It's only a teddy bear.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Yeah, OK, whatever you say.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23HE MOUTHS
0:17:40 > 0:17:43# And so we find ourselves At Torquay's Coastal Zoo
0:17:43 > 0:17:47# Where there is a really fantastic thing we can do
0:17:47 > 0:17:51# They're going to let us be zookeepers for the day
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- # And meet the penguins - You're joking, Ed, no way!
0:17:54 > 0:17:59# Oh, I can't believe Here at the Living Coasts
0:17:59 > 0:18:02# We're going to see the penguins right up close
0:18:04 > 0:18:08# So this is Penguin Beach What do you think of that?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11# It's been designed just like their natural habitat
0:18:11 > 0:18:15# And all the penguins that live here are free to roam
0:18:15 > 0:18:18# They've even got a penguin crossing of their own!
0:18:18 > 0:18:23# Oh, I'm so excited Man, this is unreal
0:18:23 > 0:18:26# We're going to give the penguins all their meal
0:18:28 > 0:18:30# They're so sweet, they're so cute
0:18:30 > 0:18:33# Oh, I just love their little penguin face
0:18:33 > 0:18:35# Pointy beak and beady eyes
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# Like they're wearing a suit
0:18:37 > 0:18:40# Oh, how I love their little penguin ways
0:18:40 > 0:18:43# They've got wings but they can't fly
0:18:44 > 0:18:47# The Macaroni penguins standout from the rest
0:18:47 > 0:18:51# They're slightly larger with a golden yellow crest
0:18:51 > 0:18:55# They live in water Bet you can't swim faster!
0:18:55 > 0:19:00# And I thought macaroni was a type of pasta!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03# Gosh, these little ones have got a lot to say
0:19:03 > 0:19:07# They make a noise just like a donkey's bray... #
0:19:07 > 0:19:09HE BRAYS
0:19:09 > 0:19:11# I could scream, I could shout
0:19:11 > 0:19:13# Cos I just love their little penguin face
0:19:13 > 0:19:16# You can watch them underwater
0:19:16 > 0:19:18# Look, they waddle about
0:19:18 > 0:19:21# Oh, how I love their little penguin ways
0:19:21 > 0:19:23# The African ones are much shorter
0:19:23 > 0:19:27# Although there are only two different species here
0:19:27 > 0:19:30# There are 17 that all live in the Southern Hemisphere
0:19:30 > 0:19:34# New Zealand, South America Antarctica mainly
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- # And the Galapagos Islands - Ooh, don't forget Torquay!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40# They're so cute, they're so sweet
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# Oh, I just love their little penguin face
0:19:43 > 0:19:45# Come on, Barney, let's go home
0:19:45 > 0:19:47# Tiny wings and webbed feet
0:19:47 > 0:19:51# Oh, how I love their little penguin ways
0:19:51 > 0:19:55# Wish I had one of my own. #
0:20:10 > 0:20:13You've got a nerve, showing your face around here, boy.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16This town ain't big enough for the both of us.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Draw!- No! Iain, don't shoot, it's me, I come in PEAS.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Mate, what are you dressed as?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29I came here for the shootout, what have you come for? Sunday lunch?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33It's the pea shooting championship, so I thought I'd get in the mood.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Get in the FOOD more like!
0:20:46 > 0:20:51Who better than a four-times world champion to introduce
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Ed and Iain to the secrets of successful pea shooting.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- George, I hear you can help us. - Well, we'll try.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- I think we need help. We've got our pea shooters.- Good.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- We've got our peas.- Yeah. - How do we load them up?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Right. Well, first of all, you've got to get the right peas.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09What you want to do is make sure that you've got a nice round one
0:21:09 > 0:21:11and that it's going to fit into the tube.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16Mine got stuck. It's too big!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- You didn't pick the right pea. - I picked the wrong pea.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Rule number one.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26So it's important to pick good peas.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29How do you aim this thing?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Well, that was...
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Basically, what you want to do is find a point on the target
0:21:35 > 0:21:37and try and repeat it.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Rule number two.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- This is really tricky. - It isn't as easy as it looks.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45ED PUFFS
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Rule number three.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- George.- Emergency! - Practice abandoned!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I have a rogue pea trapped in my shooter.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- It's a disaster!- There's no way of getting out of this.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- You're going to have to pull out. - Oh, he's got a...- Here you go.- Oh.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Embarrassing.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11So, to shoot, you put the shooter in your mouth,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15a pea on your tongue, aim and blow as hard as you can.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Hitting the board is, not surprisingly,
0:22:17 > 0:22:19how you score points.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21You get five points if you hit the centre,
0:22:21 > 0:22:24three points for the middle and one point for the outer ring.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27HE BLOWS AND SPLUTTERS
0:22:27 > 0:22:28THEY ALL LAUGH
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- So what was rule number one? - Don't pick a big pea.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34- Can I have the stick back?- Yep. - Thanks very much.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Iain seems to have a very pea-culiar style.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Maybe you need some more pea-ractice?
0:22:40 > 0:22:44- Ed, it's the young talent you have to be wary of these days.- Oh!
0:22:47 > 0:22:52So, Ed and Iain, it's time for some serious preparation,
0:22:52 > 0:22:55or indeed pea-paration.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- No, I'm bored of this now. - Oh, are you now, Ed?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- Well, Iain is really putting the work in.- Oh, a good five.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10Ed seems to be much more relaxed about the whole thing.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14- I've got to get a round pea. - Iain's in the zone...
0:23:14 > 0:23:16It's too big.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21..while Ed's on the swings.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Two peas in a pod, these boys are not.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29So let's see who's pea-match training pays off.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- Don't put me off.- Is that annoying? - This is the World Championship.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Sorry.- Stand over there.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39Iain's up first. It's a three, good start.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Don't miss it, mate.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Oh! But Ed storms into the lead with a five!- That was a three!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48It was a five.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- Hee hee!- Oh, I'm livid, mate!
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Accept it, Iain, you are getting beaten, 5 to 3.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Oh, comeback, though! Five-pointer there.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Iain does his ha-pea dance.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03And Ed... Oh! That's a tragic zero.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07I can't even... I can even hold that straight I'm so nervous.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Iain now leads, eight to five. Pea three.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16- That's a one.- Just got it in. Just got it in there.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20It still counts, though. And Ed... Oh! Repeats his zero again.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Too high! What's gone wrong?
0:24:22 > 0:24:26Good question, Ed. You're now being beaten nine to five.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Pea four.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- One.- Three. Three, mate. - Nice try, Iain, but that's a one.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33One.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Ed gets three!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Back in the game.- He needed that.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42You're down ten points to eight and it's all down to the last pea.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43And...
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Oh, a five! It's all over!
0:24:46 > 0:24:48One, two, three, four, five.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50He's won! There is no way I can beat him.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53I've actually won and he's still got a pea left.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- Thanks, adoring fans, cheers. - Is there any point in me doing is?
0:24:56 > 0:25:01- Yeah, do it, humour them. Go on, Ed. - Come on, Ed. Try and end on a high.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- HE BLOWS - Typical.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08HE BLOWS Throw the peashooter at it.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- HE BLOWS - Oh, that one doesn't work either.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13This is going well, isn't it?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17- HE BLOWS - What is going on?
0:25:17 > 0:25:21That's the third one! This is just piling on the humiliation!
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Well, that was worth the wait, wasn't it?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Iain wins, 15 points to Ed's eight.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Iain, you may have beaten Ed, but will either score
0:25:32 > 0:25:36get you through to the last 16 in the com-pea-tition?
0:25:36 > 0:25:40There you go. This is the reigning world champion. He's got 23.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Pretty good.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44And the results are in. Seems like someone has a bit of good news.
0:25:44 > 0:25:49Picture it, I'm in the final 16 of the World Pea Shooting Championship.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51You are too good at this. I want to go home.
0:25:51 > 0:25:56- Mate, you can sit and watch me.- We've had our fun.- This is on BBC Sport!
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Well, I hope your competition is a good sport.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05You are up against world champion Ian, also known as Gandalf.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- Best of luck.- May the best Ian win. - Yes. May the best Iain win indeed.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Three!
0:26:16 > 0:26:20I got three, he got five. We can catch up. We can catch up.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Three again.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Ah, he has got 100% so far.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39- What happened to the three? - I'm not happy with this.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41I think if he gets a five here, it's game over.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- Oh! That was right in the middle! - Look at that!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Oh! Oh!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I think that's it, I think I'm out.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58No fives.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03What's the final score? Did I win?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- You got 13.- Right. - And Ian got 23.- Oh.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Well done, Ian, mate. Congratulations.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10The best Ian did win.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Give it up for Ian, a.k.a. Gandalf, everyone!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
0:27:16 > 0:27:21Oh, well. Still in the top 16 in the world at pea shooting. Good night.
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Ed, you scored eight.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28- But, Iain, you scored 15, so you are the winner.- Yes! Booyah!
0:27:28 > 0:27:30All Over The Place pea shooting champion!
0:27:30 > 0:27:34You've been watching All Over The Place!
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd