Breezy Listening Blues

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# And get along with each other

0:00:21 > 0:00:25# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

0:00:25 > 0:00:30# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open your eyes! Open your ears!

0:00:30 > 0:00:34# Get together, make things better By working together

0:00:34 > 0:00:39# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

0:00:39 > 0:00:44# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

0:00:44 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day

0:00:48 > 0:00:54# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

0:00:54 > 0:01:00# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

0:01:00 > 0:01:01Hey, DW!

0:01:01 > 0:01:05- Hey!- Whoa!

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Francine, not bad. Sue Ellen, excellent.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Muffy, Congo is a country, not a dance.

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Ahem!

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Were you feeling all right when you took this test?

0:01:19 > 0:01:21You're off your usual mark.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24BRAIN GASPS B-minus?

0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Are you sure this is correct? - Yes, I'm afraid so.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32Don't take it too hard. You just had an off day.

0:01:32 > 0:01:36- A B-minus isn't so bad. - Yeah, it's in the Bs.

0:01:36 > 0:01:39I love the Bs.

0:01:39 > 0:01:44It's only one grade above a C-plus. I've never gotten a B-minus before.

0:01:44 > 0:01:49- You'll do better next time.- What if I don't? My brain is deteriorating!

0:01:49 > 0:01:52I could get a C next time!

0:01:52 > 0:01:56And then, in less than a year, I could be like...

0:01:56 > 0:01:58'like...'

0:02:00 > 0:02:04Arthur, Buster, look! A UFO!

0:02:04 > 0:02:09- It's just a dirigible, Brain. - A diriga...wha?

0:02:09 > 0:02:11You know, a blimp?

0:02:11 > 0:02:14A big balloon.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17I'd hate to see the kid who lost that!

0:02:17 > 0:02:22Hey look! There's still frosting on that cupcake!

0:02:23 > 0:02:28This could be the start of something very bad.

0:02:34 > 0:02:39What did you do before the test? Maybe something threw you off?

0:02:39 > 0:02:43It was a normal Sunday. I got up at 7.45...

0:02:43 > 0:02:46111...

0:02:46 > 0:02:48112...

0:02:48 > 0:02:50'Did 135 sit-ups.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53'Had some juice and a bran muffin.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57'Did the crossword in 3 minutes and the word jumble in 57 seconds.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01'Then my mom and I opened up the ice-cream shop.

0:03:01 > 0:03:06'I put some music on and...'

0:03:06 > 0:03:11Wait! We had no music! That was different!

0:03:11 > 0:03:14"Breezy Listening." What is it?

0:03:14 > 0:03:19Background music. My mom thought it might encourage people to buy more.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22We're listening to it right now.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25I know that tune from somewhere.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29Maybe it has secret messages in it that are making you dumb.

0:03:29 > 0:03:34- Buster, there are no secret messages in the music.- Probably not.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Some people think plant growth is affected by music.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Who knows? Maybe this CD did change me.

0:03:41 > 0:03:44There's only one way to find out.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47The experiment will consist of two tests.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51First, you put shapes into the holes in silence.

0:03:51 > 0:03:56Then with the CD on. And I'll record your response times, OK?

0:03:56 > 0:04:01- When do we get our candy? - When the experiment is over.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05I'm hungry now! I can't concentrate when I'm hungry.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09HE SIGHS OK, OK. You can have some candy now.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12THEY GUZZLE GREEDILY

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Ready, set...

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Go!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Stop! Stop! What are you doing?

0:04:20 > 0:04:24I'm putting the shapes in the hole, isn't that what you wanted.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28No, Tommy, he meant these holes, like this.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30TIMMY GRUNTS

0:04:30 > 0:04:33You're doing it wrong, Timmy. Use your feet.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34There!

0:04:34 > 0:04:37More candy, please!

0:04:38 > 0:04:41"Find better test subjects."

0:04:45 > 0:04:50So, average time for puzzle in silence equals 5.4 seconds.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Now for the hard part.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Intense exposure to Breezy Listening.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00MUZAK PLAYS

0:05:00 > 0:05:02HE YAWNS

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Wow! This place is huge.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13It's much bigger than the Elwood City mall.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16That's cos it's the Swellwood City Mall -

0:05:16 > 0:05:20everything is bigger and better. Want a credit card?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Um, sure.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Happy shopping!- Thanks.

0:05:25 > 0:05:30Funny. I suddenly feel the need to buy lots and lots of stuff.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Welcome to Chicken Lickin', can I take your order?

0:05:39 > 0:05:43An extra crispy chickaritos with pinada sauce and and fries,

0:05:43 > 0:05:48- and a large cola, please.- Do you want to mega-size that cola for 10 cents?

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- It's the combo! Bruck!- OK.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02- HE GROANS - Free mint?- No!

0:06:02 > 0:06:08Is there somewhere where I can rest and not buy things? I feel sick.

0:06:08 > 0:06:13Try the Swellwood library, located in the east wing of the mall.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Finally, some place with peace and quiet.

0:06:20 > 0:06:25Miss Turner, what's going on? You never allow music in the library.

0:06:25 > 0:06:30It's just a little background music. No-one minds it.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34How can you read books in here? I can't hear myself think.

0:06:34 > 0:06:38We don't carry books any more. We carry bookazines.

0:06:38 > 0:06:43They're like books but without the hard parts. And they're for sale.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47Here, try Tolstoy's Peace, it's hysterical.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50No! This can't be happening.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54Arthur, don't you see what's going on? It's this music.

0:06:54 > 0:06:59It's turned us into machines that buy things. We have to escape!

0:07:02 > 0:07:06Sorry, sir. You have to pay for that Arthur doll.

0:07:06 > 0:07:11"Arthur doll"? Want to pull my cord?

0:07:11 > 0:07:15- Feed me! - Pay off your credit, sir.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18No-o-o-o-o-o-o!

0:07:18 > 0:07:21HE GASPS

0:07:21 > 0:07:23HE SIGHS

0:07:24 > 0:07:28My test results after playing the CD were a quarter second

0:07:28 > 0:07:33behind my normal score. This proves it's affecting my brain.

0:07:33 > 0:07:38A quarter of a second isn't much. How many tests did you do?

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Just one. That's all I could take.

0:07:41 > 0:07:47We can change the music, but it didn't cause your B-minus.

0:07:47 > 0:07:51I don't dislike it, I mean, it's barely noticeable.

0:07:51 > 0:07:56But it's designed to make people buy more. Isn't that wrong?

0:07:56 > 0:08:01- Don't we want people to buy ice cream?- Yeah, I guess.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06- But we don't want to trick people into buying it.- You're right.

0:08:06 > 0:08:12OK, how about this? You can be in charge of the shop's music.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Try to find something everyone will like.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18BLUES MUSIC PLAYS

0:08:18 > 0:08:23- What are you playing?- Koko Taylor, it's better than Breezy Listening.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Wait, here's my favourite part.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29# When you leave this time

0:08:30 > 0:08:33# Don't bother coming back

0:08:33 > 0:08:36# Cos I'm tired of that... #

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Why is she tired?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42Her boyfriend is mean and she never wants to see him again.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Really? That's awful!

0:08:44 > 0:08:49- It's just a song!- I know. But could you play a different one?

0:08:49 > 0:08:53- This one's making me kind of sad. - What would you like to hear?

0:08:53 > 0:08:59- There's Evil, I Cried Like A Baby... - They all sound sad!

0:08:59 > 0:09:04They're not! I Cried Like A Baby is upbeat. It just has a sad title.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07- Here - I'll play it for you. - Don't bother.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10I sort of lost my appetite. Here.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17- Music suggestions, huh? This is what you want.- Mutakrude?

0:09:17 > 0:09:21It's their latest album, Shin Splints. It's not in stores yet,

0:09:21 > 0:09:26but my friend's cousin knows the ex-drummer. It's gonna be huge!

0:09:26 > 0:09:29HEAVY METAL MUSIC

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Don't worry! I'll get that!

0:09:33 > 0:09:37Wait! I'll give you a free scoop with sprinkles!

0:09:38 > 0:09:41What is that terrible sound?!

0:09:41 > 0:09:46- Muddy crud?- It's pronounced Mootakroode, moneybags.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49The umlauts give the Us an "oo" sound.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Whatever it is, it's awful.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55Here, Brain, play this - it's more appropriate.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58OPERATIC SINGING

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Ah! Listen to that voice. Isn't Rodney Gilfry dreamy?

0:10:02 > 0:10:07- MUSIC STOPS - Hey! You can't do that!

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Why not? My suggestion came first.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14- Excuse me, Molly. Patrons aren't allowed behind...- Relax, Brain.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18I heard you were looking for music. Everyone will like this.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23# See the pretty boy... #

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Oh, not THIS again!

0:10:26 > 0:10:31Hey, if you play U Stink, you have to play We Stink too.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Yeah!

0:10:33 > 0:10:37- You guys never even had a song. - Sure we did! Hit it, Buster!

0:10:37 > 0:10:40BOTH: # Oh, our name is We Stink

0:10:40 > 0:10:44# We like to play rock'n'roll music... #

0:10:44 > 0:10:48That's not singing! That's scrinching! This is singing.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50OPERA Stop it!

0:10:50 > 0:10:54This is an ice-cream shop, not a juke box.

0:10:54 > 0:10:59From now on, there'll just be silence.

0:10:59 > 0:11:04- Wanna go to the Sugar Bowl? - Wait up, we'll join you.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Aah!

0:11:09 > 0:11:12George, not bad. Fern, excellent.

0:11:12 > 0:11:17Muffy, Caesar Augustus was a Roman emperor, not a summer salad.

0:11:17 > 0:11:22- Hey, Brain, did you think the history test was hard?- No.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25But I know what I got anyway - a C-plus.

0:11:25 > 0:11:30- Why do you think that?- Cos I wound up putting Breezy Listening back on.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34- The silence in the shop was getting to me.- Ahem!

0:11:34 > 0:11:38Don't tell me - it's a C-plus, right?

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Worse? Is it a C? A C-minus?

0:11:41 > 0:11:45I've failed?! Oh, no! I'm never gonna make it to 4th grade.

0:11:45 > 0:11:50Excellent work, Alan. See? I told you it was just an off day.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54Looks like there's nothing wrong with your brain, Brain!

0:11:54 > 0:11:57So will you keep playing that background music?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC

0:12:00 > 0:12:04- Hey, bighead! When does Mutakrude play?- Track 8.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Right after U Stink - two songs to go.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10OK. Another cup of chocolate taco with strawberry salsa,

0:12:10 > 0:12:16and one of these. Sundae Hits is a lame name, but it is a great mix.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20It's the customers' favourite music. I just put it together.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23And it's selling like hot cakes!

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Subtitles by BBC Broadcast 2005

0:12:33 > 0:12:36E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk