The Trouble With Trophies

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Everybody that you meet

0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# And get along with each other

0:00:20 > 0:00:24# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

0:00:30 > 0:00:34# Get together and make things better by working together

0:00:34 > 0:00:38# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

0:00:38 > 0:00:43# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

0:00:43 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day

0:00:48 > 0:00:53# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

0:00:53 > 0:00:59# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Hey, DW!

0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Hey!- Whoa!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Who doesn't love getting a trophy?

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Wouldn't it be great if you could win one every day?

0:01:23 > 0:01:28- Aargh!- Congratulations, you've won the Wakey-wakey!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30The daily award given for waking up.

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Er...thanks.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Congratulations, you've won a Toothy!

0:01:37 > 0:01:41The lifetime achievement award for outstanding dental hygiene. Speech!

0:01:41 > 0:01:45- I'd like to thank my dentist and... - Congratulations!

0:01:45 > 0:01:49A Granny, for best song composed in a bathroom

0:01:49 > 0:01:52overheard by your grandmother.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54But I didn't compose a song.

0:01:54 > 0:01:59- Nonsense! That scream was very melodic.- Here's your Top-hat trophy,

0:01:59 > 0:02:04- for having a head of suitable circumference for hat wearing!- Ah!

0:02:04 > 0:02:09- The Nose-bell Award for breathing! - A Linty for gathering dust!

0:02:09 > 0:02:11The Congressional Medal of Mammals.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14The Marc Brown Certificate of Existence!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16DOG BARKS

0:02:17 > 0:02:21And finally, the Arthur, for just being you!

0:02:21 > 0:02:22Huh?

0:02:30 > 0:02:34Every year, I like to give out an award to that one student

0:02:34 > 0:02:37who has demonstrated the most improvement.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40This year's Thinky goes to...

0:02:40 > 0:02:41George!

0:02:41 > 0:02:46What?! Me? Whoo-hoo! Nice one, George!

0:02:52 > 0:02:56Congratulations, George. Although, to be honest,

0:02:56 > 0:02:58I thought Fern should have won.

0:02:58 > 0:03:03- Really? Why?- Because you've improved so much this year.

0:03:03 > 0:03:08Your skin is better, your posture is better. You almost look pretty.

0:03:08 > 0:03:12Thanks, Muffy. I don't really care about winning trophies.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16What?! Of course you do. Everyone does.

0:03:16 > 0:03:21Not me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know people appreciate you,

0:03:21 > 0:03:23but it's just a piece of metal.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27No, it isn't! It's a piece of metal covered with gold.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29I have 21 trophies!

0:03:29 > 0:03:3321 trophies?! Where do you keep them all?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36- The trophy room.- Maybe I should make a trophy room too.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Why don't you start with a trophy shelf?

0:03:39 > 0:03:45Well, I don't have any. You can use one of my shelves, George. See you.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Poor Fern. She's so sad.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Really? She didn't seem sad to me.

0:03:51 > 0:03:56She's hiding it. Look at her, trying to hold her head up high

0:03:56 > 0:03:58despite her terrible posture.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01It's enough to break your heart.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05We've got to help her! Meet me at my place after school.

0:04:08 > 0:04:13And then Fern said, "I...I don't have any trophies!

0:04:13 > 0:04:16"Why don't you just put your trophies in my room?

0:04:16 > 0:04:20"I'm worthless!" And then she said,

0:04:20 > 0:04:24"See you!" And then ran out of the room.

0:04:24 > 0:04:25So I called out...

0:04:25 > 0:04:30Fern! I can help you! You're not alone!

0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Poor Fern. - She didn't say, "I'm worthless."

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Maybe not in words, George, but trust me, it was there.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42Best Hairstyle For A Pre-Schooler?

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- This is a joke, right?- It is not!

0:04:44 > 0:04:47I won it at the Gold Club Beauty Pageant.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Mitzi Wedgewood was devastated.

0:04:50 > 0:04:55Anyway, this isn't about me. It's about my helping Fern.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58We have to think of something to give her.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01How about a baked ham? That would cheer ME up.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03I was thinking of a trophy.

0:05:03 > 0:05:07Something big and beautiful... and gold!

0:05:07 > 0:05:11- We could paint the ham!- It doesn't matter that the trophy looks like.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13It's what it's for that's important.

0:05:13 > 0:05:18George is right - it has to be for something that's special about Fern.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20She has really nice socks.

0:05:21 > 0:05:26'It was the toughest case Chief Inspector Annabel Fauteuil had had.

0:05:26 > 0:05:31'The Sapphire of Maharajapoor had been stolen.

0:05:31 > 0:05:36'The only evidence Fauteuil had found was a white glove with a D on it -

0:05:36 > 0:05:40'the calling card of master jewel thief, the Grey Dove.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44'The guard had sworn that no-one had entered or left the room

0:05:44 > 0:05:46'since the museum had closed.'

0:05:46 > 0:05:51SCOTTISH ACCENT: If you be lying, I'll chib your napper, you numpty!

0:05:51 > 0:05:55'And the windows showed no sign of foul play.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00'So how had the Grey Dove made off with the sapphire?'

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Concentrate, Fauteuil, concentrate!

0:06:04 > 0:06:07TUBA PLAYS

0:06:07 > 0:06:12Fern, for having the most colourful, fashion-forward footwear,

0:06:12 > 0:06:15we hereby present you with the Socky!

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Why are you giving me this?

0:06:18 > 0:06:22You said you didn't have any trophies, so now you have one.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Don't you feel better? - I donated the sock!

0:06:26 > 0:06:31That's, um, sweet of you guys, but really, I don't need a trophy.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35Of course you don't, but admit it, you WANT one.

0:06:35 > 0:06:39No, I don't. Anyway, awards should be for things you do,

0:06:39 > 0:06:43like your Thinky, George, which you really earned.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47My mom buys my socks. Why don't you give it to her? Excuse me.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52She really doesn't seem sad to me. Annoyed, maybe.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55She's just a good actress.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58I feel your pain, Fern!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Hey, I have nice socks too!

0:07:06 > 0:07:09My first Socky!

0:07:11 > 0:07:16How about this one? What does the EE in EE Cummings stand for?

0:07:16 > 0:07:19That's perfect. Only Fern would know that.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21She's coming!

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Hey, guys! So this is the new game you were telling me about?

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Yup. It's called Poet-tree!

0:07:31 > 0:07:34Get it? I knew you'd want to play.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37You take turns answering poetry questions.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40First poet to the top wins. Want to be Emily Dickinson?

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Can I be TS Eliot? - Oh, I invited Binky.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45He loves poetry too, remember?

0:07:45 > 0:07:51- Er...OK.- If Eliot's taken, I'll settle for Yeats or Pound.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53But I'd prefer to be a modernist.

0:07:57 > 0:08:01What does the EE in EE Cummings stand for?

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Is it Ernest Estlin?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12It's Edward Estlin! Ha!

0:08:14 > 0:08:16I win!

0:08:18 > 0:08:20This was supposed to be for YOU!

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Ah-ha! I knew you were up to something.

0:08:23 > 0:08:29How many times do I have to tell you? I don't want your silly trophies.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35OK, now that was definitely anger.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38What's the matter with her anyway?

0:08:38 > 0:08:42What's the matter with YOU? Why do you care if she gets a trophy?

0:08:42 > 0:08:46I just want her to admit that she wants one, that's all.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50Whoo-hoo! So I guess this trophy's all for me.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52"For excellence in Poet-tree."

0:08:52 > 0:08:56Uh-oh. All of my words are coming out rhyming...

0:08:56 > 0:09:01after spending a hour on this Poet-tree climbing.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04NO-O-O-O!

0:09:04 > 0:09:09'Chief Inspector Fauteuil had been over every centimetre of the room.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13'But she was still no closer to solving the mystery.'

0:09:13 > 0:09:18FRENCH ACCENT: A guarded room with only one way in and one way out.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20How is it possible?

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Lutefisk, ma'am?

0:09:23 > 0:09:29Mon ami, this time, the great detective Annabel Fauteuil

0:09:29 > 0:09:33is truly... How you say? ..blocked!

0:09:34 > 0:09:37And so is the writer!

0:09:37 > 0:09:39DOORBELL RINGS

0:09:40 > 0:09:46Not again! OK, Muffy, you win, I accept the silly trophy.

0:09:46 > 0:09:51- Happy now?!- Yes, and you know what? You really deserve this one!

0:09:54 > 0:09:56"To The Meanest Friend Ever."

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Huh?!

0:09:59 > 0:10:03I'm not mean. She's the one who keeps pestering me.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Quit staring at me!

0:10:10 > 0:10:15That's it! "Suddenly, everything became clear to Inspector Fauteuil."

0:10:18 > 0:10:20SHE SIGHS Hey, Muffy.

0:10:20 > 0:10:25- Bailey said you were in here. What is this room?- The trophy room.

0:10:25 > 0:10:30Or as you would probably call it, the meaningless hunks of metal room.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33I never said trophies were meaningless hunks of metal.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37Maybe not, but that's what you think.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41Anyway, you're kind of right. Some of these are silly.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Like this one - "World's Best Daughter."

0:10:44 > 0:10:46It doesn't really mean anything.

0:10:46 > 0:10:52That's not true. It means something to you. That's what's important.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55There might not be such a thing as the world's best daughter,

0:10:55 > 0:10:58but I bet you deserved this anyway.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Here, it's a copy of the story I've been working on.

0:11:02 > 0:11:03You'll like the dedication.

0:11:05 > 0:11:09"To my dear friend Muffy, who is always inspiring,

0:11:09 > 0:11:12"even when she doesn't realise it."

0:11:12 > 0:11:14It's so true!

0:11:17 > 0:11:20'The director of the museum was frantic.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23'She pestered me endlessly.'

0:11:23 > 0:11:26That sapphire is our star attraction!

0:11:26 > 0:11:31Ticket sales will be down by 20%. I'll have to take a pay cut.

0:11:31 > 0:11:37Fear not, Madame Director, your precious jewel, it is safe.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41In fact, it has never left this room.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Curses!

0:11:50 > 0:11:54'Fauteuil explained how the Grey Dove had stolen the sapphire

0:11:54 > 0:11:58'just before the museum had closed and then hid in the sarcophagus.

0:11:58 > 0:12:04'His plan was to emerge later when the museum was open and escape.'

0:12:04 > 0:12:07Great work, Fauteuil!

0:12:07 > 0:12:11For recovering the sapphire, the museum presents you with this.

0:12:11 > 0:12:18No, no, madame, for Fauteuil, solving the crime IS the trophy.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Not me! I'll take it!

0:12:24 > 0:12:29You must admit, it was an exceptionally wicked plan!

0:12:32 > 0:12:35# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

0:12:35 > 0:12:38# And everybody that you meet

0:12:38 > 0:12:41# Has an original point of view

0:12:42 > 0:12:44# And I say, hey!

0:12:44 > 0:12:46# What a wonderful kind of day! #

0:12:46 > 0:12:49E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk