0:00:02 > 0:00:04# Every day when you're walkin' down the street
0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Everybody that you meet
0:00:07 > 0:00:10# Has an original point of view
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- # And I say, hey!- Hey!
0:00:12 > 0:00:17# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# And get along with each other
0:00:21 > 0:00:24# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!
0:00:28 > 0:00:32# Get together and make things better by working together
0:00:32 > 0:00:37# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart
0:00:37 > 0:00:41# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start
0:00:41 > 0:00:46- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day
0:00:46 > 0:00:51# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other
0:00:51 > 0:00:56# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Hey, DW!
0:01:00 > 0:01:01- Hey!- Whoa!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03CRASH
0:01:05 > 0:01:08Many of you know that I have a community garden
0:01:08 > 0:01:11full of fresh fruits and vegetables.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14But did you know I also have a comedy garden?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Come on, I'll show you around!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Here's my clown nose bush.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21HONK!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Mmm, this one's not quite ready.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25SQUEAK-SQUEAK
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- HE CHUCKLES - This one's perfect!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Here's where I grow the squirting flowers.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36Ahh...smells like comedy.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39HE LAUGHS
0:01:39 > 0:01:42And if you look over here I've got some...whoa!
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Forgot I put the banana peel patch here.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52But my most prized possession in the whole garden is this,
0:01:52 > 0:01:53my joke tree!
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Each branch bears a hysterical new joke, like this one...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01What's the one word a dog can say?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Bark!
0:02:04 > 0:02:05HE LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY
0:02:05 > 0:02:06Get it?
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Actually, that one's kind of old. Let's try this one.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13What's black and white and red all over?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15A newspaper!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Wait a minute...everyone knows that one!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Why did the chicken cross the road?!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23That's the oldest one in the book!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25What's going on?!
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- BREATHLESSLY:- This one's going to be good, I promise!
0:02:33 > 0:02:36What does someone say when he reaches the top of a dead tree?
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Ahhh!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Huh? I don't get it.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43AHHHH!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45CRASH!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- WHIMPERING:- I-I-I'm OK!
0:02:53 > 0:02:54HE LAUGHS
0:02:56 > 0:03:00So a couple of sausages are sizzling in a frying pan.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04One sausage turns to the other and says, "Man, is it hot in here?!"
0:03:04 > 0:03:08And the other sausage says, "Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!"
0:03:08 > 0:03:11THEY LAUGH
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- LAUGHING:- Doesn't that joke kill?!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Ow, well, my nose sure feels dead.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20And then he says, "Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!"
0:03:20 > 0:03:22ARTHUR SNORTS
0:03:22 > 0:03:23GEORGE LAUGHS
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Could you warn me next time?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Pretty great, huh?!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Ahh, it never fails.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Get it? See? I'm a sausage and I'm talking.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43- IN A SAUSAGE VOICE: - Hi, guys, la la la la...
0:03:43 > 0:03:44We got it the first time.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47And the second...and third.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50The funny part was when water shot out of Arthur's nose!
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Can you do that again?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56No way! I actually never thought it was that funny.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00It was just that creepy image of a talking sausage...eugh!
0:04:00 > 0:04:04It made me snort! Are you done telling it? I'm really thirsty.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Yeah, I'm done. Finished. Caput.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- SIGHING:- I think I need another dessert.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15Of course, you're still funny, Buster!
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Ah, I don't know.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20That joke used to always work, now I can't even get a giggle.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23That's just cos you're using day-old bread.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25No, I was using hot dogs.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27You think I should use bread instead?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30What I mean is, you need some new jokes.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Would you like it if I served the same thing everyday?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Hm...could it be cake?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Don't worry, Buster, you'll make them laugh again,
0:04:40 > 0:04:42just go get some fresh material.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44And this time, make it something
0:04:44 > 0:04:47that doesn't involve playing with your lunch!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Thanks a lot, Mrs MacGrady.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00This is exactly what I need!
0:05:20 > 0:05:23HE LAUGHS
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Hi, ladies and germs.
0:05:24 > 0:05:29Welcome to The Great Baxterini's Prop Comedy Show.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Oh, what a great crowd!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Now, remember, don't try this at home!
0:05:40 > 0:05:41I am at home.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Now, you don't like to have seeds in your watermelon, do you, sir?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Well, this is how I like to get them out.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51HE LAUGHS WEAKLY
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Ao-ow! Wow, does that hurt!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Come back!
0:06:05 > 0:06:10There! Wasn't that...hysterical?!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13You're going to clean this up, right?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15HE SIGHS
0:06:15 > 0:06:19You know, there are things I notice every day at this school
0:06:19 > 0:06:22that are just hysterical, like the seesaw.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24It doesn't look like a sea, or a saw.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Why is it called that?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Maybe they should just call it the "I don't see the point saw".
0:06:29 > 0:06:31HE LAUGHS
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Pfff!
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Hey, I've got a question for you.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40If fish swim in schools, do they get homework?
0:06:44 > 0:06:50See, it's funny because their school is not like our school...
0:06:50 > 0:06:51HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Hey, what's up with monkey bars?
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Why aren't there any monkeys...on them?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04Because there are no wild monkeys in North America.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I suppose one could escape from the zoo...
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Huh! That'd be scary.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12My dad knew someone who was bitten by a monkey once.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Oh, that can be quite dangerous, did he get a rabies shot?
0:07:15 > 0:07:18OK, OK, forget the monkey bars.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Hey, you know what's funny...?
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Yes, funny is an adjective.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Definition - causing laughter or amusement.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Synonyms are comical, humorous, droll...
0:07:29 > 0:07:31I'll tell you what funny isn't...
0:07:31 > 0:07:33This!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Oh, never mind.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40According to Horst Schichter's Compendium Of Comedy,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42this HAS to get a laugh.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I don't know, Buster. I feel kind of funny about this.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Funny is good! Hold that thought. Now let's get started.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Are you sure you want me to?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Arthur, if you are truly my friend,
0:07:54 > 0:07:56you will hit me in the face with that pie.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Why aren't you laughing?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Because it wasn't funny!
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Try the cherry.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- CHOKING:- Anything?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Sorry. All I feel is grossed out!
0:08:17 > 0:08:22I don't understand, this is supposed to be a guaranteed laugh! Oh!
0:08:22 > 0:08:25There's quiche in the fridge - let's try that!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27What is going on here?!
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Umm, Arthur's helping me with my comedy homework.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38So I've been experimenting with all different types of comedy
0:08:38 > 0:08:41but no matter what I do I still can't get a laugh.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Well, I think you're funny.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Thanks, but you're my mum, you'd even laugh at my mitten joke.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50What's your mitten joke?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52What did the mitten say to the hat?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I'll stay here, you go on ahead.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56SHE LAUGHS HEARTILY
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- See!- Well, I know something that'll cheer you up.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05This Sunday At Elwood City Books, comedian Vince Ruckles
0:09:05 > 0:09:09will sign copies of his autobiography, My Yucky Life.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Huh...Vince Ruckles, he's my hero!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14I have all his CDs.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18I know. You and your father did his routines for hours and hours.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Can we go, Mum, please, please, pretty please?
0:09:21 > 0:09:26Only if you promise never to do your comedy homework in my kitchen again!
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Molina...any relation to Stanwood Molina?- No, who is he?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Beats me, he's not a relative of mine either. Next!
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Hey, kid, who do I make it out to?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Umm, Buster Baxter.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Is that two Ms in the "Umm"?
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- LAUGHING:- You haven't lost your touch, Mr Ruckles.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I wish I could say the same.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55What happened, kid? You sprain your funny bone?
0:09:55 > 0:09:56Broke it is more like it.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58I bet you never went through a slump
0:09:58 > 0:10:01where you couldn't make anyone laugh.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Are you kidding?! Read chapters 2 through 12.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05What did you do about it?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I stopped TRYING to be funny.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Ha-ha-ha, that's a good one.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Actually, that wasn't a joke.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Trying to be funny is like trying to have fun.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16The harder you try, the less fun it is.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17So what do I do?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Just be yourself, if you can't do that be Whoopie Snuttlemeyer.
0:10:21 > 0:10:22Who's that?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I dunno, but at least she's got a funny name! Next!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I bet I know what you want, Buster.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32A pair of talking hot dogs?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Actually, I think I'll have the fish sticks instead.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39Let me guess, you've got some fish jokes up your sleeve.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43A fish joke, I wish. When I look at my lunch, I just see food.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48- Seafood! Oh-ho-ho, I get it, that's a good one!- It is?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Huh, I wasn't even fishing for a laugh.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Ha-ha-ha, you're on fire today!
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Hey, guys.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02So, what kind of comedy are you trying today?
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Knock-knock jokes?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06No, I'm done trying to be funny.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07I may never be funny again.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10But at least I won't have whipped cream in my ears.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11ARTHUR CHUCKLES
0:11:11 > 0:11:16What? It's true! I also found some cherry filling in my shoes.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17At least my feet smell good.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19ALL LAUGH
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Is this a new stand-up routine?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25No way! I'd rather do sit-ups than stand-up.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28And I'm never going to kick a watermelon again, only zucchinis.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Why zucchinis?
0:11:30 > 0:11:32They squash.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34ALL LAUGH HEARTILY
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Thank you, Vince Ruckles.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38OK, can we eat lunch already?
0:11:38 > 0:11:41My fish sticks are turning into fish stones.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- HE SNORTS - You made me do it again!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46It's not my fault, stop laughing!
0:11:46 > 0:11:49You stop being funny!
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I'm trying! OK, everyone think serious thoughts.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING
0:11:58 > 0:12:00That SO did not work!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd