Arthur Versus the Mean Crossing Guard/DW's Bad Mood

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# And get along with each other

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Listen to the rhythm Rhythm of the street

0:00:27 > 0:00:30# Open up your eyes Open up your ears

0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Get together and make things better By working together

0:00:33 > 0:00:37# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

0:00:37 > 0:00:43# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

0:00:43 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day

0:00:48 > 0:00:53# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

0:00:53 > 0:00:59# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Hey! DW!

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Hey!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Anybody here?

0:01:15 > 0:01:18DW is so easy to fool.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21She'll believe anything!

0:01:21 > 0:01:25One time, I told her sweaters were a kind of animal.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28I'm NOT afraid of you!

0:01:30 > 0:01:32Aaagh!

0:01:34 > 0:01:39I told her that if you stayed in the tub after you pulled out the plug...

0:01:41 > 0:01:43..you'd get sucked in!

0:01:45 > 0:01:47She wouldn't take a bath for weeks!

0:01:47 > 0:01:51- Yep, she'll believe anything. - Arthur!

0:01:51 > 0:01:57- Did you find anything?- No monsters. At least, none I noticed.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Try not to think about them.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01SQUEAK!

0:02:08 > 0:02:09Hey!

0:02:11 > 0:02:15I told her my Bionic Bunny poster could talk,

0:02:15 > 0:02:18and it could tell me if she came in my room.

0:02:18 > 0:02:24It must be great to have someone as gullible as DW for a sister.

0:02:24 > 0:02:29- Is it ever! Wanna come to my house and play Fool the Mule?- Sure.

0:02:29 > 0:02:34- ..Eh, Brain, what does gullible mean?- Easy to fool.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Right!

0:02:35 > 0:02:42- I forgot. Yeah, that DW, she sure is gullible!- Hello, partners.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45How are you doing?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Fine. What happened to Mrs Hurley?

0:02:48 > 0:02:52She's out of town. I'm holding the fort.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57That'll be 10 dollars, please.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00- 10...- ..dollars?!

0:03:00 > 0:03:04New rule. 10 dollars to cross the street.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08I'll take that in small bills, please.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11But we don't have 10 dollars!

0:03:11 > 0:03:15You expected to cross the street for free?!

0:03:15 > 0:03:18N-no... but we always did before, sir.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Well, I guess you can pay me later.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26But don't take too long or I'll send my goons after you.

0:03:28 > 0:03:3310 dollars to cross the street? That's 50 dollars a week!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I'm lucky I live on the other side.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39I contain 5 dollars and 37 cents.

0:03:39 > 0:03:44Oink!Arthur, I can't afford to walk home from school.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Stop here!

0:03:57 > 0:04:02Brain, where have you been? No-one's seen you since 3rd Grade.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06I could only cross 5 dollars and 37 cents' worth.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10This is as far as he would let me come.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Well, if you want service, you have to pay for it!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Wait!

0:04:16 > 0:04:20I need 4 dollars and 63 cents so I can...

0:04:20 > 0:04:23get across! EVIL LAUGHTER

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Ohhhh!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31We can't even pay for today.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34You think he'll send his goons?

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Arthur, what are goons?

0:04:37 > 0:04:40I was gonna ask YOU that.

0:04:43 > 0:04:44CHATTERING

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Ohhh! Who are you?!

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Are you...the goons?

0:04:55 > 0:05:00Of course not. We're BABOONS. Ooh-oooh-oooh!

0:05:03 > 0:05:09The goons will be along later... and they're REALLY scary.

0:05:11 > 0:05:16He's sending things after us and we don't even know what they are!

0:05:16 > 0:05:21We have to stay calm and come up with a plan.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24I thought about it all night, Arthur.

0:05:24 > 0:05:29- The mean Crossing Guard is only there in the afternoon, right?- Right.

0:05:29 > 0:05:35So I have to find a way home after school. Here are my ideas.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Plan A. The bridge.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Drawback...

0:05:43 > 0:05:45storing it.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Plan B.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50The tunnel.

0:05:59 > 0:06:00Phew!

0:06:06 > 0:06:07Aaaaghhh!

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Drawback - directions.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Plan C. The balloon.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Drawback - getting blown off course...

0:06:31 > 0:06:36..crashlanding in a strange country populated by strange creatures...

0:06:39 > 0:06:42..and having to declare myself Wizard.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Gee, you really thought this out.

0:06:47 > 0:06:52Yeah, but none of my ideas work. I just need a functional plan.

0:06:52 > 0:06:56Sure you don't wanna come to my house?

0:06:56 > 0:07:02- I'd better save my money for when I really MUST see you.- Good thinking.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Here goes.

0:07:06 > 0:07:11Where's your partner in crime headed?

0:07:11 > 0:07:14We didn't perpetrate any criminal acts.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19Sure I haven't seen your mug on a wanted poster?

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Maybe down at the Post Office?

0:07:21 > 0:07:23N-n-no!

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Watch your step.

0:07:25 > 0:07:30I'm on to you. One false move, and it's into the slammer with you!

0:07:35 > 0:07:39I'm...crossing...the... Have to get across!

0:07:39 > 0:07:43If only I hadn't crossed the street so many times,

0:07:43 > 0:07:49- my parents wouldn't have had to sell up.- A tent might not be THAT bad!

0:07:49 > 0:07:52It might be fun!

0:07:53 > 0:07:56I wonder who bought our house anyway?

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Home sweet home!

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Aaaaaggggh!

0:08:08 > 0:08:14I can't think! If only my parents would move across the street!

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Ahem!

0:08:16 > 0:08:22- Everything would be fine.- I'm sure you could stay at our house tonight.

0:08:22 > 0:08:27- Grandma Thora's baby-sitting and she says yes to anything!- Really?

0:08:27 > 0:08:28< Ahem!

0:08:30 > 0:08:35I'll go straight to your house and call my parents from there.

0:08:35 > 0:08:40- Here they are!- We're not crossing the street today. Thank you anyway!

0:08:40 > 0:08:44I hope you aren't planning to cross at some other stop sign.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47I've got cameras everywhere!

0:08:49 > 0:08:52In theory, it's possible.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57- Cameras can be made small enough to fit in this stuffed bear.- Wow!

0:09:02 > 0:09:07- Think he has cameras in there? - Could be. Better talk in code.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10The penny jar...

0:09:10 > 0:09:13- sure is mean.- That's right.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16It's almost as bad as...the rug.

0:09:18 > 0:09:19What?!

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Arthur! >

0:09:20 > 0:09:26- Come check my bed.- There's nothing under there, DW. Go to sleep.

0:09:26 > 0:09:31You know things are bad when I don't even feel like torturing DW!

0:09:33 > 0:09:37I've got it! Brain, wake up! I know what to do!

0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Could you, Grandma?- Why, of course.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43If you're sure that's what you want.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46We'll see you after school.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Brilliant idea, Arthur. CAR HORN

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Grandma Thora's cab company!

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Who needs a ride home?

0:09:59 > 0:10:04It's nice of you to drive me home. Why are we stopping?

0:10:04 > 0:10:09- There's someone on the crosswalk. - He sees us! Duck!

0:10:09 > 0:10:15- What's going on back there? Fasten those seatbelts right now!- Grandma!

0:10:15 > 0:10:18- He'll see us!- Who? Ted?

0:10:18 > 0:10:22- You KNOW him?!- He's so mean!

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Ted? Oh, he's a pussycat.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28- He wants money from us.- What?!

0:10:28 > 0:10:31We'll see about this.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35He LOOKS mean! He's the meanest ever!

0:10:35 > 0:10:38He said he'd send his goons after us!

0:10:38 > 0:10:44- And turn Brain in to the police.- He has cameras in all the stop signs.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48And you actually believed all this?!

0:10:48 > 0:10:53That's the funniest thing! You guys will believe anything!

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Arthur. Alan.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02This is Ted. He wants to tell you boys something.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Ted?

0:11:04 > 0:11:09I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry if my kidding around

0:11:09 > 0:11:12gave you two a scare.

0:11:12 > 0:11:17- That's all right. - We didn't really believe it much. - GIGGLING

0:11:20 > 0:11:25I was sure he was joking when he talked about the cameras.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28You'd have to be gullible to believe THAT!

0:11:28 > 0:11:33- I guess even smart people believe dumb stuff sometimes.- ARTHUR!

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Come here!- See you tomorrow, Brain.

0:11:38 > 0:11:44- I think I heard something move. - Better watch out. It could be a...

0:11:44 > 0:11:45What?!

0:11:45 > 0:11:50Actually...there aren't any monsters under the bed, DW.

0:11:50 > 0:11:56- I was just saying that to fool you. - I know that! I've ALWAYS known that.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58But...could you check anyway?

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Pl-e-e-e-e-ase?

0:12:00 > 0:12:05Anyway, I figured it wasn't nice to scare her.

0:12:05 > 0:12:10- Good idea. She's liable to believe anything.- Hello, boys.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Hi.- Hello.- Wait.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17- Aren't you gonna ask us the password(?)- Right!

0:12:17 > 0:12:21You boys are crossing into enemy territory now!

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Could be inhabited by goons(!)

0:12:24 > 0:12:28Could be WORSE, I hear. Watch your step!

0:12:37 > 0:12:41It's nice when you have a perfect family.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45There! A nutritious lunch, all neatly packed.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50- Gee, thanks, Mother!- Son, would you like a ride to school?

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Thanks, Father!

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Hello, Mr and Mrs Reid!

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Hi!

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Arthur, are you ready?

0:13:03 > 0:13:06We've never been late for school.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Coming!

0:13:08 > 0:13:12You see? My life is just about perfect.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Except for one little thing...

0:13:14 > 0:13:17- RUMBLING - Can you guess?

0:13:21 > 0:13:23WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?

0:13:28 > 0:13:31COME BACK HERE! I'M HUNGRY!

0:13:48 > 0:13:51OK, OK. So I'm slightly exaggerating.

0:13:51 > 0:13:56- These Cornpops are soggy! I won't eat them!- But only slightly.

0:13:56 > 0:14:01You can't make me! And I'm not going to pre-school.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03I'll do what I want. You hear me?!

0:14:06 > 0:14:09One for you, and you... Arthur!

0:14:09 > 0:14:13- Wake up!- Huh?- I'm inviting you to my birthday party.

0:14:13 > 0:14:18- I'm sorry. I can't go. Too tired. - The party's not for two weeks.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21You'll have plenty of time to sleep.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Want to bet? DW's going nuts.

0:14:24 > 0:14:28Last night she wouldn't stop screaming.

0:14:28 > 0:14:33You're making me go to bed because you don't want me around!

0:14:33 > 0:14:38- You don't love me! You wish I wasn't even born.- Sleep tight, DW!

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Let's hope you feel better tomorrow.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46I won't!

0:14:47 > 0:14:50I won't! I won't! I won't!

0:14:50 > 0:14:52I WON'T!

0:14:53 > 0:14:56She did that all night long!

0:14:56 > 0:15:01- What if she never lets me go to sleep again?- Interesting experiment!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04We could chart your deterioration...

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Why not just ask her what's wrong?

0:15:07 > 0:15:10- Why don't YOU ask her?- OK. I will.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14- Thanks, Mrs Reid.- My pleasure.

0:15:16 > 0:15:21- One at a time!- You're always picking on me! Never anyone else!

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Only me, me, ME!

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Everybody has to eat politely...

0:15:27 > 0:15:32- and that includes you. - That does NOT include me!

0:15:32 > 0:15:36You always make me stay home when there's anything fun!

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Only Arthur gets to have fun!

0:15:39 > 0:15:42- DW, can I ask you a question? - Maybe.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46- What's the matter with you?- Ohhhh!

0:15:48 > 0:15:52That was great. You really solved the problem(!)

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- I didn't think she'd get so upset. - It's not YOUR fault.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59May I be excused?

0:15:59 > 0:16:02DW IS SOBBING

0:16:03 > 0:16:07I'm sorry, DW. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11But you really ARE being a total duffus.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Who asked you? You don't even live here!

0:16:15 > 0:16:18I'm Arthur's friend.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23- When something's bugging him, I want to help.- Know what?- What?

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Go... Go... Ohhhh!

0:16:26 > 0:16:31I'm too tired to think of any more mean things to say!

0:16:31 > 0:16:36- Did Francine figure out what's wrong?- No. It only made her worse.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39I thought we'd get arrested!

0:16:41 > 0:16:48'Join us for another nerve-wracking Temper Tantrum Patrol Squad!'

0:17:01 > 0:17:05Upstairs and to the right!

0:17:10 > 0:17:15- You have the right to remain silent! - I'll be as loud as I want!

0:17:15 > 0:17:21And you can't stop me! No-one can! Who made YOU the boss of the world?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23We need backup - fast!

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Cor! When is THAT gonna be on?

0:17:28 > 0:17:33I think DW's being a pain because she's upset about something.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37What does DW have to be upset about? She's four years old!

0:17:37 > 0:17:41It's not like she's a 3rd Grader!

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Something's bothering her...

0:17:44 > 0:17:49- and it's up to us to find out - today!- We have soccer practice.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Tomorrow!

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Love to. But I have to clean the garage.

0:17:54 > 0:17:59And I have to... I have to do... ..clean our garage, too!

0:17:59 > 0:18:00Coincidence!

0:18:00 > 0:18:04- Thanks a lot, guys.- Any time!

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Subject in view.

0:18:08 > 0:18:13- What's she doing? - Eating her sandwich. Making a face.

0:18:13 > 0:18:18She's spitting the baloney into her hand, throwing it into the bushes...

0:18:18 > 0:18:22Pal's eating the... ..PAL! PUT THAT DOWN!

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Quiet! Spies don't yell!

0:18:26 > 0:18:31Sorry. I couldn't help it... seeing Pal eat spit-covered baloney.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32YUK!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Here!

0:18:35 > 0:18:37Where...?

0:18:38 > 0:18:42I know what you're doing! It won't work!

0:18:42 > 0:18:47She's not saying anything, and it's 10 o'clock and I'm tired.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51Whatever it is, she'll say it in her sleep.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55- You can't give up.- Ohhh! - This might be it!

0:18:55 > 0:18:57It's wrong!

0:18:57 > 0:19:03- Something's wrong!- It's wrong. Something's wrong...- Because...

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Because...

0:19:05 > 0:19:08BECAUSE ARTHUR IS A DODO BRAIN!

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Because Arthur is a dodo brain!

0:19:10 > 0:19:14- FRANCINE LAUGHS - Stop laughing!

0:19:14 > 0:19:17This is it, Francine!

0:19:17 > 0:19:20If we can't figure out what's wrong today,

0:19:20 > 0:19:25- then I give up!- I'm telling you, we're close - then you can sleep.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28There she is!

0:19:28 > 0:19:31First, we'll go to the movie...

0:19:31 > 0:19:34then we'll go back to my house.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37Remember - Saturday at one o'clock!

0:19:37 > 0:19:42- She's looking right at us! - Not us - THEM!

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Hi, DW.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Francine, can I ask you a question?

0:19:48 > 0:19:54- Sure.- Why don't you go back to your own house and stop bothering us?

0:19:54 > 0:19:58DW! This being rude to everybody has got to stop!

0:19:58 > 0:20:02I know something that might make me feel better.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06I'd feel much better if I could see Krazy Kool Kittens

0:20:06 > 0:20:09this Saturday at one o'clock.

0:20:09 > 0:20:13- You've seen that movie twice, DW. - Grrrrrrrrr!

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Arthur and I would LOVE to go!

0:20:16 > 0:20:19GASPS OF PANIC

0:20:21 > 0:20:24How could you make me do this?!

0:20:24 > 0:20:30- You want to find out what's wrong. Just hang on!- You'd better be right.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Even DW isn't having fun.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36DW LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

0:20:38 > 0:20:43- What are you doing?!- HAVING FUN! LOADS AND LOADS OF FUN!!

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Oh, hi, DW.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Lisa! I didn't know you'd be here!

0:20:48 > 0:20:52I'm here with my friends... having lots of fun!

0:20:56 > 0:20:59I have lots and LOTS of friends.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02I'm really popular and I get invited

0:21:02 > 0:21:06- to a lot of birthday parties. - That's nice.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09WHISPERING AND GIGGLING

0:21:12 > 0:21:17- Maybe the previews will be interesting.- I don't feel well.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20- I wanna go home!- We just got here!

0:21:20 > 0:21:23What am I saying?! Let's go!

0:21:23 > 0:21:28All that money and we still don't know what's wrong.

0:21:28 > 0:21:33Except she's driving me bussalooey! And you know how I hate that word!

0:21:33 > 0:21:38- DW and I are gonna get some ice cream. Why not go home?- What?

0:21:38 > 0:21:41This is just for girls. See you!

0:21:41 > 0:21:44You shouldn't ever feel left out,

0:21:44 > 0:21:50- because you just might NOT be. Get it?- No.- The point is...

0:21:50 > 0:21:55you shouldn't feel bad because you didn't get invited to that party.

0:21:55 > 0:21:59- WHAT party? - Come on! Those girls at the movie.

0:21:59 > 0:22:04- That's what's been bugging you, right?- Maybe.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07- SOBS - Francine, can you help me?

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Of course, DW. Anything you say.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13OK. Cos here's what I want...

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Happy birthday, Lisa!

0:22:16 > 0:22:20# La-la-lala-la! La-la-la-la-la! #

0:22:21 > 0:22:25MANIC LAUGHTER

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Time to rain on their little parade! Ah-ha-ha!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43That sounds kind of mean.

0:22:43 > 0:22:47- They were mean first! - Maybe there wasn't enough room.

0:22:47 > 0:22:51Hey, whose side are you on anyway?

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Is Lisa someone you play with a lot?

0:22:54 > 0:22:58No. But she's friends with my friend Emily...

0:22:58 > 0:23:03- and SHE got to go to the party. - Everybody can't go to every party.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06But I think I have an idea.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09What? What?

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Hey, look.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- It's for DW.- What?

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Really?

0:23:17 > 0:23:19It's for ME? What IS it?

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Wow!

0:23:24 > 0:23:28- "Miss DW Reid is invited..." - I'm invited!

0:23:28 > 0:23:33I'm invited! I'm invited! ..To what?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36- "..to Francine's birthday party." - Y-es!

0:23:36 > 0:23:38No way!

0:23:38 > 0:23:43This is better than Lisa's party! A 3rd-Grade party!

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Just wait till I tell them!

0:23:46 > 0:23:48What a nice friend Francine is.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Awwwww!

0:23:56 > 0:24:00Subtitles by Janice Hamilton BBC Scotland

0:24:00 > 0:24:03E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk