The Lousy Week/You Are Arthur

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0:00:01 > 0:00:06# Every day when you're walkin' down the street, everybody that you meet

0:00:06 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day if you learn to work and play

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# And get along with each other

0:00:21 > 0:00:24# Gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

0:00:24 > 0:00:30# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open up your eyes, open up your ears

0:00:30 > 0:00:34# And make things better by working together

0:00:34 > 0:00:36# It's a simple message

0:00:36 > 0:00:38# And it comes from the heart

0:00:38 > 0:00:43# Believe in yourself for that's the place to start

0:00:43 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day

0:00:48 > 0:00:53- # We can learn to work and play, get along with each other!- Hey!

0:00:53 > 0:00:59# What a wonderful kind of day! Hey! What a wonderful kind of day! HEY! #

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Hey, DW!- Hey!

0:01:07 > 0:01:13MILITARY DRUMBEAT Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Ah, finally, the summit!

0:01:16 > 0:01:18It's beautiful, sir!

0:01:18 > 0:01:22HE GASPS Is that a comb?!

0:01:22 > 0:01:25No, son, that's just a hair clip.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29No time for sightseeing! All right, you lousy bunch of bugs!

0:01:29 > 0:01:36I wanna see a nit on every single hair in a 10-inch radius! NOW!!

0:01:36 > 0:01:39- ALL: Hup, hup, hup...- Hmm!

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Uh-hm. Yes...good job.

0:01:42 > 0:01:48Er, General, you've never actually SEEN a comb, have you?

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Yes, I've seen a comb, son.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54In fact...it took off my fifth leg.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56But I lived!

0:01:56 > 0:02:02And I'll keep on living until we've conquered every head in this city!

0:02:02 > 0:02:08We are lice, son, and nothing can ever get rid of us!

0:02:08 > 0:02:12NOTHING! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Ughhh!

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Hey!- Oops!

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- Nice hair!- Thanks.

0:02:30 > 0:02:35Not his, yours! I love those purple highlights!

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Urgh!

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Sorry!

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Francine, I'm open, I'm open!

0:03:02 > 0:03:05You said you were open! You could've scored!

0:03:05 > 0:03:09I'm sorry. It's this darn itchy head.

0:03:09 > 0:03:14- It's been bothering me all day.- Go to the nurse. It may be head lice.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18- It starts out with an itchy head. - I couldn't have lice!

0:03:18 > 0:03:21That's something dirty people get.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26That's not true. Look at Buster. He's never had head lice.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32You see, Suzette, my nanny, washes my hair every day.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36- It's impossible I would have... - ANGRY RANTING

0:03:36 > 0:03:41- THAT was in my hair?!- I'm afraid so.

0:03:41 > 0:03:47- Help! I'm covered in bugs!- Actually, head lice only live on the head.

0:03:47 > 0:03:53If the other kids find out, I'll be treated like a leopard! OSTRAGISED!

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Muffy! I have your math homework!

0:04:17 > 0:04:21Promise you won't tell anyone! Please, please, please!

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Calm down, Muffy.

0:04:23 > 0:04:28If you follow my instructions, you'll get rid of the lice.

0:04:28 > 0:04:35- Hi.- Francine, what are you doing here?!- What did the nurse say?

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Do you have head lice?

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Me? Head lice? I don't have head lice.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44The nurse said I was just thinking too hard.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48Why are we here? What's the meaning of life?

0:04:48 > 0:04:52Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

0:04:52 > 0:04:55Hey, you dropped your hat!

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Ooh, so soft!

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Get ready! New head approaching!

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Head for the skull!

0:05:04 > 0:05:08- ALL: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup! - Contact!

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Mmmm!

0:05:13 > 0:05:18Bend your head. We 'ave to put ze Nit Hit Lice Shampoo on.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Life is so unfair!

0:05:25 > 0:05:29Muffy dear, you're overreacting.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Even- I- had head lice when I was a child.

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Ah, yes, I remember it well.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Life is so unfair!

0:05:47 > 0:05:52You'll have to stay home tomorrow and we'll get everything cleaned.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56All the sheets and towels, your clothes, even the carpet.

0:05:56 > 0:06:02Of course, we could use this as an opportunity to...redecorate!

0:06:02 > 0:06:04Yippeeee!

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Have you seen Muffy?

0:06:06 > 0:06:10I have her hat. No. Maybe she's off sick.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Hey, that's pretty!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Nice hat!

0:06:16 > 0:06:20Scrumptious! Oh, it feels so expensive!

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Ahem! I have an important announcement.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Yesterday, a case of head lice was reported.

0:06:27 > 0:06:32You will all have your hair checked by me each morning.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37Oh, I knew it! Muffy DID have head lice!

0:06:37 > 0:06:42Also, do not wear anybody else's coats, scarves or hats.

0:06:42 > 0:06:46< We want to try and keep the head lice from spreading.

0:06:46 > 0:06:51ALL: Hup, hup, hup... Four days since we landed, sir.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54- We now have bugs on ten heads! - Excellent!

0:06:54 > 0:06:58Soon the entire school will be at our feet!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01HE SNIFFS What's that smell, sir?

0:07:01 > 0:07:06Hair gel, son. Isn't it wonderful?

0:07:07 > 0:07:13Ahh, I love the smell of hair gel in the morning!

0:07:13 > 0:07:16- It's smells like a...- AHHHHH!

0:07:16 > 0:07:19General, what's happening?! Help, help!

0:07:19 > 0:07:22HELP! HE-E-E-LP!

0:07:23 > 0:07:29- Sorry, Nigel.- I knew I should've gone to business school.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31ALL: Hup, hup...

0:07:32 > 0:07:38- This'll do the trick.- You're gonna put mayonnaise on my head?!- Sure.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42It's what your grandma used on me when I was a kid.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46Ha ha! Ha ha! Mayo head! Mayo head!

0:07:46 > 0:07:51- Cut it out!- Daddy, now put cheese and tomatoes on Arthur's head!

0:07:51 > 0:07:55Laugh it up, DW. You won't find it funny in a minute.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57- You're next!- Me?

0:07:57 > 0:08:02- Why me? I don't have head mice. - They're called head LICE.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05We all might have them.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07I'm sorry, DW.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11There may be lice in their fur. It's only for a few weeks.

0:08:11 > 0:08:15Weeks? Wait! There.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18So the animals can breathe.

0:08:18 > 0:08:24Goodbye, Poopoos. Goodbye, MooMoo. Goodbye, Tookey.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27I'll never forget any of you!

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Cut it out, boy!

0:08:32 > 0:08:35Dad, Pal's trying to eat my head!

0:08:35 > 0:08:39SIGHS I can't wait for this to be over!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41SQUELCH!

0:08:41 > 0:08:43ALL: Hup, hup...

0:08:43 > 0:08:47CROWD CHEERING Let me get this straight.

0:08:47 > 0:08:52- I get to watch TV for hours instead of doing homework?- That's right.

0:08:52 > 0:08:56You've got a ton of nits - they're hard to get out.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00This is so cool! I love lice!

0:09:03 > 0:09:06- I'm clean! I'm clean!- Oufff!

0:09:06 > 0:09:12- Oops! Sorry, Francine.- You should be!- It was just an accident!

0:09:12 > 0:09:16- I didn't mean to knock you down. - No! For giving me lice!

0:09:16 > 0:09:20- I can't get rid of them! - You must be doing SOMETHING wrong.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24Yeah, talking to YOU! You started this whole thing!

0:09:24 > 0:09:29- You probably have a million lice by now!- For your information,

0:09:29 > 0:09:32I am nit-free - so hah!

0:09:32 > 0:09:38You're doing it wrong! I wanted the Big Dipper above my bed!

0:09:38 > 0:09:40HE SIGHS

0:09:40 > 0:09:43Ohh, un pou!

0:09:43 > 0:09:48- Gesundheit!- Non, ma fille, ze lice, zey are back!- But...

0:09:48 > 0:09:51But that's impossible!

0:09:52 > 0:09:56'This cigar box you were going to throw out

0:09:56 > 0:09:59'is actually worth 37!

0:09:59 > 0:10:02'37 dollars?!

0:10:02 > 0:10:04'Oh, well, bless my toes!'

0:10:04 > 0:10:07I can't take it any more!

0:10:07 > 0:10:12Five straight nights of mindless television! Can I go to bed, Mom?

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Not yet, honey.- Ohhhhhh!

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Now we're using olive oil.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24- It works and Pal doesn't eat it. - I hope it works.

0:10:24 > 0:10:29I wonder why I haven't gotten lice. Everybody else has them.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38This place is disgusting!

0:10:38 > 0:10:42Urghhhh! Let's go back to the teacher's head!

0:10:42 > 0:10:46I didn't give you lice! You gave me lice!

0:10:46 > 0:10:52- You gave them back to me!- Prove it! - Prove you DIDN'T!- Calm down, guys.

0:10:52 > 0:10:57I've done research on head lice and you can't tell who gave it to whom.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Stop blaming each other.

0:11:00 > 0:11:06But I did read that lice are harder to get rid of if you have long hair.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13They said we were going to look like models.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17We do. BOY models! Hmm!

0:11:17 > 0:11:21We can do some pretty fun things with this haircut!

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Hey, any nits?

0:11:25 > 0:11:31Nope. I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to be back in school!

0:11:31 > 0:11:35- You said it!- Hey, you can't...

0:11:35 > 0:11:37You're in the... Ahhhhhh!

0:11:37 > 0:11:42Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:11:44 > 0:11:49Two weeks since our forces landed

0:11:49 > 0:11:53and now I'm the last louse alive.

0:11:53 > 0:11:58The school has defeated us.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01The bunny!

0:12:01 > 0:12:07If I can just get to his head, I can hatch a new army!

0:12:07 > 0:12:11- I will survive!- Hey, George. Gonna get your head checked?

0:12:13 > 0:12:17- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! - SPLAT!

0:12:21 > 0:12:25- Help me! Help me... - SQUISH!

0:12:31 > 0:12:35Treasure Island - one of my favourite books.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38I imagine I'm a pirate

0:12:38 > 0:12:40like Long John Silver!

0:12:41 > 0:12:46Avast! There's the X! Dig up the buried treasure, lad!

0:12:49 > 0:12:53Human treasure, lad, not dog treasure!

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Keep digging!

0:12:57 > 0:13:00Hey, you can stop digging now.

0:13:00 > 0:13:05Imagining is one of the things I love about reading.

0:13:05 > 0:13:10What would it be like if I could BE someone else...like Mr Ratburn?

0:13:12 > 0:13:17Good morning, class! Let's start the day with a little math quiz.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20CLASS: Awwww!

0:13:21 > 0:13:27'Hmm. That wasn't a very big groan. Maybe I'm getting too soft on them.'

0:13:28 > 0:13:33On second thoughts, let's start the day with a BIG math test!

0:13:33 > 0:13:36CLASS: AWWWWWWWWWWW!

0:13:36 > 0:13:39'Ahh, that's more like it!'

0:13:39 > 0:13:42Hey, I have an idea!

0:13:42 > 0:13:45You imagine what it's like to be me for a day

0:13:45 > 0:13:50and I'll imagine what it's like to be YOU.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52OK, ready?

0:13:52 > 0:13:55You are becoming me!

0:13:55 > 0:14:02You are becoming me... you are becoming me...

0:14:13 > 0:14:15ARTHUR YAWNS

0:14:21 > 0:14:2610 toes...10 fingers. Yep, I'm all here.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30HE YAWNS

0:14:38 > 0:14:39Ouff!

0:14:47 > 0:14:52- Good morning, Arthur. - Stop talking to yourself!

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Do you have any idea what time it is?

0:14:55 > 0:14:59- It's only 7.30. - Oh, so that's what it says.

0:14:59 > 0:15:04- Better get moving or you'll be late for training!- Training? For what?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06PAL WHINES

0:15:06 > 0:15:09Oh, the 3K race!

0:15:09 > 0:15:14It's today! Oh, no, I completely forgot I signed up for it!

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Care to enter the library's 3K race?

0:15:19 > 0:15:24- To raise money for a new children's reading room.- Gee, I don't know.

0:15:24 > 0:15:29- How far is 3 kilometres? - It's exactly 1.86 miles.

0:15:29 > 0:15:34In school we only run half a mile. It might be too long for YOU.

0:15:34 > 0:15:38- So why are YOU signing up? - My dad and I run a lot.

0:15:38 > 0:15:413 kilometres will be a snap for me.

0:15:43 > 0:15:48'Huh! Too long for me? We'll see about that!'

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Ahem! 3K, huh? No sweat!

0:15:53 > 0:15:57'1.86 miles. That really seems like a lot NOW.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01'I'd like to show the Brain I can run as far as he can.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05'I guess a little training couldn't hurt.'

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Ouch! Ouch! Hey! Ow!

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Ow! You're hurting me!

0:16:10 > 0:16:13It's for your own good.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17- You should stretch before your trainers get here.- Trainers?

0:16:17 > 0:16:23- I thought YOU were my trainer.- Hi! - Ready for your workout?- Oh, no!

0:16:23 > 0:16:29Trust me. If you can survive an hour with them, the race will be a snap!

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Ohhh!

0:16:31 > 0:16:35ARTHUR PANTS/ LAUGHTER

0:16:35 > 0:16:39- I've got you now!- That was close! - Not close enough!

0:16:39 > 0:16:41No-o-o-o!

0:16:44 > 0:16:5018...19...20...20...20...

0:16:50 > 0:16:54- You already said 20! - I don't know what comes after 20.

0:16:54 > 0:16:59- Timmy, I bet I can spin the rope faster than you!- Cannot!

0:16:59 > 0:17:02- Can, too!- Cannot!- Can, too!- Cannot!

0:17:02 > 0:17:08Guys, slow down! It's too fast! I can't keep up! Stop!

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Ahhhhhhhh!

0:17:10 > 0:17:16Arthur...never stay "stop" when you're jumping rope!

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Ohhhhhhhhhhh!

0:17:21 > 0:17:23OK, run to that tree.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31And back!

0:17:31 > 0:17:33ARTHUR PANTS

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Now to the sand box.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45Pick up the purple dinosaur!

0:17:45 > 0:17:49Now bring it back. Quick!

0:17:49 > 0:17:51ARTHUR PANTS

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Thanks! - THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Hey! They stole my dinosaur!

0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Arthur wants some more pancakes, Dad.- I do?!

0:18:14 > 0:18:18You need lots of crabs so you'll have energy for the race.

0:18:18 > 0:18:23Carbs, DW. It's short of carbohydrates.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Trust me, Arthur.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30- ARTHUR GROANS - I ate too much!

0:18:30 > 0:18:34Mom, could you slow down? I feel a little car sick.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Arthur, if you feel nauseous you don't have to run.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41'I could just skip the race.

0:18:41 > 0:18:46'What if the library can't raise the money for the reading room?'

0:18:48 > 0:18:52- Isn't it wonderful?- It is! - KNOCK AT DOOR

0:18:52 > 0:18:55I'm foreman of the building crew.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57You were 5 short

0:18:57 > 0:19:03so we left out some features - like doors and windows.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07Wait! Don't go! I have 5 right here!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11Throw in another 10 and we'll give you a roof, too!

0:19:13 > 0:19:15We're doomed!

0:19:16 > 0:19:22It's all because Arthur signed up for the race but didn't run!

0:19:25 > 0:19:28No, I should run. I feel OK.

0:19:28 > 0:19:33I know what you need. Let's see. I had it just last week.

0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Something to settle your stomach. - Ughhh!

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Mom, pull over! Quick!

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Hi, Arthur. You don't look quite yourself today.

0:19:50 > 0:19:55I was car sick on the ride over, but now I feel fine.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57No, that's not it.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Is there someone inside your head

0:20:00 > 0:20:05- watching everything you do on a TV set?- Cut it out!

0:20:05 > 0:20:08- Hey, Arthur!- Whoa!

0:20:08 > 0:20:13Oh, these are my new Condor-86X slow-risers with pump action.

0:20:13 > 0:20:17- They inflate when I clap my hands. - CLAPS

0:20:17 > 0:20:21And give me an extra spring to my step.

0:20:21 > 0:20:27These are my...lucky sneakers! I wear them for all my races!

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Don't push yourself too hard.

0:20:29 > 0:20:34Remember, Arthur, WALKING across the finish line still counts.

0:20:34 > 0:20:39'Yeah, but finishing before YOU would be a lot of fun!'

0:20:40 > 0:20:42On your mark...

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Wait! Isn't the Elwood City Times covering the race?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48I wanna look my best!

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Ahem!

0:20:50 > 0:20:54- On your mark...get set... - FIRES PISTOL

0:20:54 > 0:20:58- Oh, no! - CROWD SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Hi, Grandma!

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- Hi...Brain.- Huh?!

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- How did you...? - Sorry, can't talk now. Gotta run!

0:21:17 > 0:21:22'Heh heh heh! Actually, this isn't so bad. I don't feel tired at all!

0:21:22 > 0:21:25'Hey, I might even win this race!'

0:21:27 > 0:21:31CROWD CHEERS

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Congratulations, Arthur.

0:21:34 > 0:21:39Yours was the fastest time in Elwood City history!

0:21:39 > 0:21:45We're naming the new reading room the Read Reading Room after YOU.

0:21:45 > 0:21:50You ran a great race! You should be very proud of yourself!

0:21:52 > 0:21:57You're doing really well. We should run together some day.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00- OK.- But not today! - HE CLAPS

0:22:05 > 0:22:11- Over here! Try to get my good side! - Muffy, watch out! There's a...- Ow!

0:22:11 > 0:22:13CROWD GASPS

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Ahhhhh!

0:22:19 > 0:22:23- Muffy, are you all right? - No, I'm not all right!

0:22:23 > 0:22:26My new outfit is ruined!

0:22:29 > 0:22:32I'll never catch up with the Brain now!

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Oh, well, there'll be other races.

0:22:36 > 0:22:40ARTHUR PANTS

0:22:43 > 0:22:46CROWD CHEERS

0:22:48 > 0:22:53DW: come on, Arthur! Just a few more steps! You can do it!

0:22:53 > 0:22:56CHEERING

0:22:58 > 0:23:00DAD: Yey hey-hey!

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Way to go! That's my boy!

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Thanks.

0:23:05 > 0:23:10Don't drink too much - you don't wanna practise on a full stomach.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13- Practise? For what?- The marathon!

0:23:13 > 0:23:17It can't be much longer than THIS race.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20Maybe it's 10Ks or 4Ls or a Q.

0:23:20 > 0:23:25- We'll ask Tommy and Timmy this afternoon.- Oh, brother!

0:23:31 > 0:23:37Check it out! I'm famous! That's better than winning the race!

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Well, I hope you enjoyed being me for a day. I liked being YOU.

0:23:41 > 0:23:45But next time, let's switch - you run the race

0:23:45 > 0:23:48and I'll watch me on TV!

0:23:50 > 0:23:54# And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day

0:23:54 > 0:24:01# If you can learn to work and play and get along with each other

0:24:01 > 0:24:03# Gotta listen to your heart, listen to the beat

0:24:03 > 0:24:07# Listen to the rhythm - the rhythm of the street

0:24:07 > 0:24:12# It's a simple message and it comes from the heart

0:24:12 > 0:24:17# Believe in yourself for that's the place to start

0:24:17 > 0:24:22# And I say, hey, what a wonderful kind of day

0:24:22 > 0:24:25# If you can learn to work and play

0:24:25 > 0:24:28# And get along with each other #

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Subtitles by Pam Atkinson, TFL Ltd, for BBC Subtitling - 2001