0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# And get along with each other
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Listen to the rhythm of the street
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Get together and make things better By working together
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart
0:00:37 > 0:00:43# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start
0:00:43 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day
0:00:48 > 0:00:53# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other
0:00:53 > 0:00:59# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #
0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Hey, DW!- Hey...
0:01:11 > 0:01:16Tonight, I shall play Zukovski's Concerto Number 5.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20The one that put Rubenstein in a full-body cast?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- He's mad! MAD!- Oh-h!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30FAST PIANO MUSIC
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Bravo! Bravo!
0:01:42 > 0:01:46Thank you! Thank you! You're too kind.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51For you, Mrs Cardigan - the best piano teacher a boy could EVER have!
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Oh, Arthur, you're wonderful! ..Just wonderful!
0:01:56 > 0:02:00MUSIC: "The Blue Danube"
0:02:00 > 0:02:05Wonderful, Arthur, you've really got Blue Danube down pat!
0:02:05 > 0:02:11- Want me to try the left hand now? - No, Arthur. We have to talk.
0:02:11 > 0:02:17I know, I know. It's about Lightly Row. I'll practise it for next time.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22I'm afraid there won't be a next time, Arthur. You see, I'm retiring.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24GASPS
0:02:30 > 0:02:33You're retiring - why?
0:02:33 > 0:02:38There are other things I want to do besides teach piano. Cookie?
0:02:39 > 0:02:44What's about me? I'll never get to Carnegie Hall without your help!
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I wouldn't be so sure, Arthur.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Your new teacher WAS a concert pianist.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- New teacher?- I've made some calls,
0:02:53 > 0:02:57and YOU are going to be taught by none other than...
0:02:57 > 0:03:01Dr Frederick Fuge!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I bet his cookies aren't as good.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10YOU are going to be taught by Dr Frederick Fugue?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Boy, some kids get ALL the breaks!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- He's that good?- Good? He's the BEST!
0:03:16 > 0:03:21I'd give anything for just one lesson with him, and I don't play piano!
0:03:21 > 0:03:26Of course, your fingers might BREAK from all the scales he makes you do.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31That happened to a friend - Mikey still can't hold an ice-cream cone.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36- Watch out for the knitting needles. - What does he use those for?
0:03:36 > 0:03:40You don't want to know. Just stay on the beat.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44Yep! Fugue the ferocious! You'll either end up famous,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47or drinking through a straw.
0:03:47 > 0:03:51EERIE MUSIC
0:04:03 > 0:04:10- Arthur Read, I presume.- That's me. - Moderate digital spreading,
0:04:10 > 0:04:16and NO calluses. You have been playing for...two-and-a-half years?
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Yes.- Thought so. Follow me. TOOT! TOOT!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24C sharp - he should get that tuned.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29CHEEP! CHEEP! Presto, Tosca! Presto!
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- What a beautiful piano. - Her name is Giselle.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39She's been with me from Vienna to Carnegie Hall.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43- You've ACTUALLY played at Carnegie Hall?- Yes, many times!
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Enough chit-chat! Let's hear you play.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Start with some scales - D major.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55C harmonic minor.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00A minor. ..D major again. ..Tempo!
0:05:04 > 0:05:09That'll do for today. It appears you might actually have SOME talent.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Work on this for next week's lesson
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Bach's two-part inventions. But this has a million notes!
0:05:16 > 0:05:20No, it only has 8,955 notes.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Let's begin with the Invention in F major.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Um...Dr Fugue, I'm not sure...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Remember, Arthur...
0:05:29 > 0:05:34genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38So practise, practise, practise!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Ok. No problem. See you next week.
0:05:43 > 0:05:498,955 notes! Mrs Cardigan would have never given me something so hard!
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Just looking at this music makes me tired.- Whee!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I'll do it later. I've got a whole week.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Whoa-whoo!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07I've got it! I've got it!
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- Have you practised piano yet? - I will, Mum, after this.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Arthur, how about practising piano?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20As soon as this game's over, Dad.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25After the book fair, I'm going to help Buster carve his pumpkin...
0:06:25 > 0:06:30- Your lesson's in two days, and you haven't practised.- But...
0:06:30 > 0:06:32No BUTS! One hour, Arthur.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42MEOW! BAA! COCK-A-DOODLE-DO! MOO!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44BAA!
0:06:44 > 0:06:49- DW, what are you doing?- Playing with my Funny Farm. Want to take a whack?
0:06:49 > 0:06:54No! Could you play with that in your room? I'm trying to practise piano.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Mum's cleaning. I'll turn the sound down.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04LAUGHTER AND SQUEALS Back in the farm, little piggy!
0:07:04 > 0:07:09DW, what is it going to take for YOU to be quiet?
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Got any candy?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Mmm...peanut!
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- DW!- What? ..I'm just chewing.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30- I can't practise. DW is making too much noise!- I'll take care of her.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34It's important you make a good impression on your teacher.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37These are good!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40OK, Arthur, we're off to the Tibbles.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Thanks, Dad.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50OK, Invention in F major. ..Here we go!
0:07:50 > 0:07:52YAWN
0:07:57 > 0:08:01BRAHMS' LULLABY
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- DING - Oh, practising's over.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12That wasn't so bad.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Wow, is that You and Yo-Yo Ma?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Yo-Yo's a good friend of mine.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Who's the guy in the pink suit?
0:08:21 > 0:08:27That's Liberace. We had a duelling pianos match when I was at school.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29But we digress. Let's hear that Bach.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Try again!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Did YOU practise?
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Yes, I did. I mean...a little...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52..kind of... Oh, not really.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58If you don't want to work at this, then I don't want to waste my time.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00I'm afraid I have NO choice.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Oh, the knitting needles!
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Goodbye, Arthur, you're fired.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11You were FIRED by your piano teacher?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Yeah, just because I didn't play perfectly!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- I'm sorry, Arthur.- Why? I'm thrilled!
0:09:17 > 0:09:22It'll be a while before my parents find me a new teacher.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24I won't have to practise for weeks!
0:09:24 > 0:09:30- What will you do?- I don't know. The possibilities are endless!
0:09:38 > 0:09:43A nearly flawless rendition of the Emperor Concerto, by Irena Verkova.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Oh, Phantom, you are so hideous!
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Yet you play so beautifully!
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Play it, Stan.
0:09:56 > 0:10:02- Oh...!- Arthur, I'm going to the mall to buy socks.- I'll come.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I'm looking for some toddler anklets
0:10:05 > 0:10:09and mid-calf argyles in brownish, grey tones.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Mum, I'm over at the music store.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16And now, Arthur Read will play Zukovski's Concerto Number 5.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22A-hem...excuse me, son, that's NOT a toy!
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Now, I think THIS may be an instrument of Antoine's calibre!
0:10:33 > 0:10:39- Cookie?- No, thanks. Mrs Cardigan, do you really think I have any talent?
0:10:39 > 0:10:43Of course I do! That's why I sent you to Dr Fugue. How's it going?
0:10:43 > 0:10:49- Not so good. I guess Dr Fugue kind of...- Fired you?
0:10:49 > 0:10:51He does that to a lot of students.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55He's a brilliant teacher, but a VERY difficult man.
0:10:55 > 0:11:00- Well, how do I get hired again? - You EARN his respect.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02His bird doesn't sing good enough!
0:11:02 > 0:11:07You don't have to play perfectly, just play your best.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10BAA! COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13BAA! MOO!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25SIGH
0:11:30 > 0:11:35Whoa-whoo! I've been fired! YES!
0:11:35 > 0:11:41Dismissed for torturing the Invention in F major. What brings you back?
0:11:41 > 0:11:46If it's OK, Dr Fugue, I'd like to try to play it again.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49It's very irregular.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53All right, I have a few minutes before Soul Train.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00I must have made 50 mistakes!
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Actually, you made 78 mistakes.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Sorry I wasted your time, Dr Fugue.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I guess no matter how hard I try... I'll never be any good.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14There is something that MIGHT improve your play.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19All my students keep their fingers WARM.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24All right, enough chit-chat! Let's do some scales!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26D major!
0:12:30 > 0:12:35I look at you, and I see someone who likes to put the pedal to the metal
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- and feel wind in his hair.- You do?
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Yes, sir, I have got just the car for you.
0:12:42 > 0:12:48Behold... the 1972 three-door Canberra Eel -
0:12:48 > 0:12:54- top of the line in Australian luxury sedans!- There's no wheels.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58That's why I'm offering it to you at such a low price.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Muffy's Dad sure knows how to sell. He says it's an art form.
0:13:02 > 0:13:08Binky's good at it too. Sometimes he makes you an offer you can't refuse.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Want to give a quarter to the animal shelter,
0:13:12 > 0:13:15or am I going to start snapping pencils?!
0:13:15 > 0:13:19DW's better than both of them!
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Please... won't someone buy some lemonade?
0:13:24 > 0:13:28I just need some money for some new clothes, and maybe...
0:13:28 > 0:13:31a little piece of cheese to eat.
0:13:33 > 0:13:39But there is one person who is the worst salesman in ALL of Elwood.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42- He's so bad...- Don't listen to him!
0:13:42 > 0:13:46I'll sell you anything you want for half price.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51I'll even throw in my shirt! Just buy something, PLEASE!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Up high, down low,
0:14:00 > 0:14:03in the middle...and away we go!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06See you, Mum.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Arthur, what's in the box, a diorama?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Chocolate.- A diorama in chocolate?
0:14:15 > 0:14:20I have this candy bar - I COULD make it into a canoe.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24No, Buster, we're selling chocolates for the band.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Oh, yeah! To raise money for new instruments.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31I better go sign up.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Muffy, how many boxes can you sell?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39I don't want to get swamped with inventory. With a low overhead,
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- I could unload 20. - What does THAT mean?
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- Daddy will buy them all. - Hmm...I'll take 20 also.
0:14:47 > 0:14:52OK, Buster, it's 3.00 a box. Are you sure you can sell that many?
0:14:52 > 0:14:56Who knows chocolate better than me?
0:14:56 > 0:15:00BUZZER Hello, Mrs Johnstone,
0:15:00 > 0:15:06- want to buy some mouse-watering, detestable chocolates?- Hmm!
0:15:06 > 0:15:11Oh, mouth-watering, delectable chocolates.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17I'm allergic to chocolates! Even the word chocolate gives me a RASH!
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Chocolates here - sweet and cheap.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Buster, I've already sold four boxes! Brain has sold six!
0:15:33 > 0:15:35He's got a great sales pitch.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40Chocolates release chemicals in the brain called endorphins,
0:15:40 > 0:15:44- which may improve response time on tests.- Can I have some?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47- Can I have some?- Me, first!
0:15:47 > 0:15:52Prunella's doing the best - she's raised over 20 already.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56The key to all your hopes and dreams is in a BOX!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59A flat, white box - just like this!
0:16:00 > 0:16:06- How are YOU doing?- Not so good, but I've only been at it for two hours.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09This bag will be empty by the end of the day.
0:16:09 > 0:16:14Five hours up and down Main Street, and I couldn't sell one box!
0:16:14 > 0:16:19What's happened to me, Mum? I used to be someone in this town. I was liked.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Maybe you just need a gimmick, honey.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28- I have no ideas.- Come to Jack's Joke Shop - you'll get a free sample!
0:16:28 > 0:16:33How about a rubber snake, sneezing powder, a squirting flower?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- I'm giving them away! - But that's crazy!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Crazy? You're right it's crazy!
0:16:39 > 0:16:44Once you've tried my gags, I know you'll be back for MORE!
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Twenty minutes, and not a customer! Well, it's only 10 o'clock.
0:16:51 > 0:16:57That's a whole hour since breakfast. No wonder I'm getting kind of hungry.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Wait, I'm not getting hungry - I am hungry!
0:17:00 > 0:17:04I'm starving! I've got to eat something.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08But what if I get a customer?
0:17:08 > 0:17:13I could have one or two of the chocolates - after all, they're free.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Hi, Buster, sell anything yet?
0:17:18 > 0:17:22No, I'm trying a new approach. How about you?
0:17:22 > 0:17:27I sold all of mine to George. Hey, are these really free?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Sure, they're samples. Take one. - Thanks.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35I meant one chocolate - not one box!
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Jeez, some people!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42So, how many boxes do you have left?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- Ten.- Great! You made 30 in two days.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50Well, I didn't actually sell them - I sort of ATE them.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53You ate ten boxes of chocolates?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56They were free samples!
0:17:56 > 0:18:00I shouldn't have done it, but they were...
0:18:00 > 0:18:03so mouth-watering and delectable.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- How much money do I owe?- 30.
0:18:06 > 0:18:1130? I don't have 30! All I have is...
0:18:11 > 0:18:15a paperclip, a shoelace and a chewy-worm.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20- I'm going to jail!- You're not, Buster. We'll think of something.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25You just raise the price to make up what you've lost.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Since it's for the band, someone might buy a box for 6.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32But you can't eat any more of them!
0:18:32 > 0:18:35You couldn't force me to eat one now.
0:18:35 > 0:18:3818 - not bad for one day's work.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43And you guys are going some place where I won't even think about you.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Buster!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Who's there?
0:18:57 > 0:19:01It's us, Buster - the Pinchmen!
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Let us out, Buster,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06we're so lonely!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09No, you stay there, chocolates!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Please, we miss you!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14We love you!
0:19:14 > 0:19:16We want to be with you ALWAYS!
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Let us out! Let us out!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Resist.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26YAWN
0:19:29 > 0:19:31What a terrible dream.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37SCREAMS What have I done?
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I ate them all - every last one! I'm a MONSTER!
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Get a hold of yourself!
0:19:48 > 0:19:52No-one will get new instruments, and it'll be my fault!
0:19:53 > 0:19:57CLANKING RACKET
0:20:14 > 0:20:19Tell your mum. Maybe she can lend you the money to pay the school.
0:20:19 > 0:20:24- I can't! It's too embarrassing! - What else can you do, Buster?
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Make 20 boxes of chocolate yourself?
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Hey, that's not such a bad idea.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32Uh-oh!
0:20:33 > 0:20:39My dad will be home in an hour. Can't we wait till he gets back?
0:20:39 > 0:20:43Relax, chocolates can't be that hard to make.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I want them to taste just like Pinchman's.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51What do you think soya lecithin is?
0:20:51 > 0:20:55- I don't know - something with soya sauce?- Yeah, probably.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14Here they are. You boys look like you did a good job on your own.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Who's going to try one?
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Me!- Buster, no free samples for you.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- You'll eat them all! - You're right, Arthur.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Can we just put them in the boxes?
0:21:26 > 0:21:29I can't look at them.
0:21:30 > 0:21:36Chocolate Buster Clusters! They're only 3, and they're home-made!
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Home-made? You don't say!
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Your change, sir. Two, sir? Coming right up!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Please form a line, people.
0:21:46 > 0:21:4936 - I'm more than halfway there!
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Oh, home-made chocolates!
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Yes, sir! I made them from scratch
0:21:55 > 0:22:01- to raise money for new instruments. - Well, if it's for a good cause...
0:22:01 > 0:22:03I guess I can't say no.
0:22:08 > 0:22:13Oh, they're awful! What did you put in these?
0:22:13 > 0:22:18I don't know...lots of stuff - nuts, cinnamon, tomatoes.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21You put tomatoes in chocolate?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24The recipe called for a fruit.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Did you sell my wife chocolates? I want my money back!
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- UGH!- Disgusting!- UGH!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Hmm...
0:22:34 > 0:22:37Sorry, ma'am. Here you go, sir.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Buster, it seems you're in luck.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48- A supporter of the band has agreed to pay off your debt.- Really?
0:22:48 > 0:22:53On one condition - you work in his store for a few hours this weekend.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56A store? Selling things?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Anything but that! PLEASE! I'll ruin him!
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Calm down, Buster. I think you'll do very well at this job.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Very well indeed!
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Hey, Arthur, have a seat.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Ft-ft-ft-ft! I was wondering where I put that.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19How do you like working?
0:23:19 > 0:23:24I love it! My boss is really nice! I REALLY believe in what we're selling!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27BELL Customers.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Welcome to Jack's Joke Shop. What'll it be today?
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Stink bombs, plastic puddles of puke?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37How about Buster Clusters -
0:23:37 > 0:23:41trick chocolate that looks yummy, but tastes crummy?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Your money back if not dissatisfied.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Replace your Dad's hair-growth formula with a bottle of No Gain.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Only two drops for permanent baldness. Comes with free hat.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55# And I say, hey!
0:23:55 > 0:24:00# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play
0:24:00 > 0:24:06# And get along with each other You gotta listen to your heart
0:24:06 > 0:24:10# Listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street
0:24:10 > 0:24:15# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart
0:24:15 > 0:24:19# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start
0:24:19 > 0:24:21# And I say, hey!
0:24:21 > 0:24:26# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play
0:24:26 > 0:24:32# And get along with each other What a wonderful kind of day! HEY! #