Elwood City Turns 100

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

0:00:07 > 0:00:11# Has an original point of view

0:00:11 > 0:00:13- # And I say, hey!- Hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

0:00:18 > 0:00:22# And get along with each other

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

0:00:25 > 0:00:27# Listen to the rhythm of the street

0:00:27 > 0:00:33# Get together and make things better by working together

0:00:33 > 0:00:39# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

0:00:39 > 0:00:43# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

0:00:43 > 0:00:48- # And I say, hey!- Hey! - What a wonderful kind of day

0:00:48 > 0:00:54# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

0:00:54 > 0:00:59# What a wonderful kind of day. Hey! What a wonderful kind of day. HEY! #

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- Hey, DW!- Hey...

0:01:07 > 0:01:11By the authority vested in me, I, Theodore Roosevelt,

0:01:11 > 0:01:17the 26th President of the US, in the year of our Lord 1903,

0:01:17 > 0:01:23- with the approval of the committee on towns and cities...- The good bit!

0:01:23 > 0:01:28..Do hereby declare declare the area known as Elwood

0:01:28 > 0:01:31an official city!

0:01:33 > 0:01:37It was Elmwood I wrote on the application!

0:01:37 > 0:01:43For taking 50 acres of swamp and turning it into a thriving town,

0:01:43 > 0:01:47your good friends JP Morgan and Henry Ford

0:01:47 > 0:01:51have donated this statue of you, our founder,

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Jacob Katzenelenbogan!

0:01:54 > 0:01:58Who's that supposed to be? My name has two Ls in it!

0:01:58 > 0:02:01Why did you make me so fat?

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Tear it down!

0:02:03 > 0:02:05How do you like that, JB?

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Jacob founded a city before us!

0:02:08 > 0:02:11In 100 years, Henry,

0:02:11 > 0:02:17- no-one will know a place called Elwood City ever existed! - Skinflints!

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Yee-hah!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Exciting news, class!

0:02:25 > 0:02:30Elwood City is celebrating its centennial in three weeks.

0:02:30 > 0:02:35We have been chosen out of 15 schools to stage a musical!

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Yeah!

0:02:37 > 0:02:40We won! We won! We...

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Wait! Is there a test at the end?

0:02:43 > 0:02:46No, just a big performance.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50All right! We're doing a musical! Yeah!

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Doing a show isn't easy, Buster!

0:02:53 > 0:02:57I remember my Hamlet with puppets at college.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59To be or not to be -

0:02:59 > 0:03:01that is...

0:03:02 > 0:03:06..the end of the show! Good night!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Curtain! Curtain!

0:03:10 > 0:03:15That performance nearly cost me my perfect GPA.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18So, we're all going to have to be very focused.

0:03:18 > 0:03:23I've written down all the tasks and put them in this hat.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26You'll choose your role at random!

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Come on! Something good!

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Narrator? That doesn't sound very important.

0:03:32 > 0:03:37On the contrary, a singing narrator will hold this story together.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41- It's a very big role.- Cool!

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Chorus member? I'm the best singer in the whole class!

0:03:45 > 0:03:51- It's a small part!- There are no small parts - only small actors!

0:03:51 > 0:03:57Writer! Finally, a chance to write an accurate historical musical!

0:03:59 > 0:04:05Dr Ector? Is he the villain? Can I wear a claw?

0:04:05 > 0:04:08That says director, Buster!

0:04:08 > 0:04:14Oh... Oh! I get to decide how everything looks and tell everyone what to do?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Er...sort of...

0:04:16 > 0:04:21Woo-hoo! This is going to be the weirdest musical ever!

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Mwah!

0:04:23 > 0:04:27You can wear a claw in the chorus!

0:04:28 > 0:04:33Mr Ratburn? I was wondering if I could help with the publicity.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Making posters - stuff like that?

0:04:36 > 0:04:40I could use some help with that. All right. Thank you.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44Great! If you could just sign this, we're all set.

0:04:44 > 0:04:49It's a standard producer's contract, in case the musical goes on tour.

0:04:49 > 0:04:54I think it'll be good, but I don't know if it'll be that good.

0:04:56 > 0:05:01One word for you, Brain! Alien invasion!

0:05:01 > 0:05:05The curtain rises and a giant flying saucer lands on the stage!

0:05:05 > 0:05:09WHIRRING

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Hundreds of aliens come out. They take over the Earth!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16One kid becomes friends with them...

0:05:16 > 0:05:20No aliens in my script! Why not?

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Because it's a historical musical!

0:05:23 > 0:05:26We have to show events that really happened.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29But I did find some exciting things.

0:05:29 > 0:05:34Did you know that most of Elwood City used to be swampland

0:05:34 > 0:05:37filled with grebes? What are grebes?

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Marshland birds - Podicipedidae.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44You're putting that in?! Sure. Why not?

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Because it's boring! No, it isn't!

0:05:48 > 0:05:50At least it's not some fantasy!

0:05:50 > 0:05:54People love fantasy!

0:05:54 > 0:05:58They deserve accuracy! Fantasy! Accuracy!

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- FAIRLY OUT-OF-TUNE SCALE: - # La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

0:06:03 > 0:06:06# La-la-la-la-la-la... #

0:06:06 > 0:06:10Good effort, but the narrator has to be pitch perfect.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Let's try A again.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15# La-a-a-a... #

0:06:15 > 0:06:19A little higher, Arthur... Now lower...

0:06:19 > 0:06:23Excuse me, Ms Krasny, can I show him?

0:06:23 > 0:06:26- IN TUNE: - # La! #

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Like that, Arthur.- Thanks a lot!

0:06:30 > 0:06:33NOT-VERY-TUNEFUL SCALE

0:06:33 > 0:06:37I haven't heard such a horrible sound

0:06:37 > 0:06:41since I gave the neighbour's cat a bath!

0:06:41 > 0:06:44It's like my Merry Moo Cow doll!

0:06:44 > 0:06:47I bet I can sing worse!

0:06:47 > 0:06:51- # La-la-la-la-la-la... # - No, I can't!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53# La-la-la-la-la-la... #

0:06:53 > 0:06:55DOORBELL

0:06:56 > 0:07:01Let me guess - I stink and you should really be the narrator!

0:07:01 > 0:07:05I'm here to help, but if that's how you're going to...

0:07:05 > 0:07:10Wait! Sorry, Francine! Come on in. I need all the help I can get!

0:07:23 > 0:07:27- NOT VERY IN TUNE: - # La-la-la-la-la-la... #

0:07:28 > 0:07:32- IN TUNE: - # La-la-la-la-la-la... #

0:07:49 > 0:07:53- STILL NOT VERY IN TUNE: - # The trees were chopped down

0:07:53 > 0:07:57# For the bustling new town

0:07:57 > 0:08:01# By the women and men employed By Mr Katzenellenbogan! #

0:08:01 > 0:08:06- OK. You're not projecting enough. - I'm singing at the top of my lungs!

0:08:06 > 0:08:11You're singing from your throat! It should come from your diaphragm.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Don't! You'll embarrass me!

0:08:13 > 0:08:16You're not chopping on the beat!

0:08:16 > 0:08:19It's one and two...

0:08:19 > 0:08:23and three! Pinky, not again!

0:08:23 > 0:08:28They take for ever to sew! They're too tight!

0:08:28 > 0:08:31Why did you say you were a medium?

0:08:31 > 0:08:35I am a medium! My chinos are mediums... What is that?

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Humungotron! I said no aliens!

0:08:39 > 0:08:44He's not an alien! He saves Elwood City from the giant crab people!

0:08:44 > 0:08:47You didn't say anything about that!

0:08:47 > 0:08:50All right! Settle down! Class!

0:08:50 > 0:08:53- I said settle down...- Mr Ratburn?

0:08:53 > 0:08:57Can you check the guest list for the opening-night party?

0:09:01 > 0:09:03You can't invite Mr Rogers!

0:09:03 > 0:09:09- I already did! He's so sweet! - But we open in one week!

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Do you want Mr Rogers to see this?

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Curtain! Curtain!

0:09:25 > 0:09:29It could happen all over again!

0:09:29 > 0:09:34They'll pull together. They just need a little pep talk! May I?

0:09:36 > 0:09:41We were chosen out of 15 schools to put on this show!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Maybe they were wrong to pick us!

0:09:43 > 0:09:48Maybe they should have picked Mighty Mountain or Glenbrook.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Would they be arguing? No!

0:09:51 > 0:09:53They'd be working together -

0:09:53 > 0:09:56something we can't seem to do!

0:09:56 > 0:10:01I did read there was an alien sighting here in 1952.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Probably a weather balloon, but...

0:10:04 > 0:10:08Thank you! Let's take it from the top!

0:10:10 > 0:10:14That should hold them till opening night.

0:10:14 > 0:10:19Then we'll need luck and all the candy we can get our hands on!

0:10:19 > 0:10:22You still have a week, Arthur.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Even if I had a year, I just can't sing!

0:10:25 > 0:10:30Well, I mean, I can sing... but not like you.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- Francine, would you like to be the narrator?- Me?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37It'd be a much better show.

0:10:37 > 0:10:43I'd like to be in the chorus. You get to have plastic axes. Please!

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Is this what you really want?

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Well...OK.

0:10:49 > 0:10:54- Thanks, Francine, you're a really great friend!- Yes!

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Dad! Come on! We're already late!

0:10:59 > 0:11:03I'm just getting directions to Georgia's house.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12TUNING-UP

0:11:12 > 0:11:15Why all the photographers?

0:11:15 > 0:11:19- For Art Garfunkel. - Art Garfunkel is coming?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21No, he's already here!

0:11:25 > 0:11:28I want emotion out there!

0:11:28 > 0:11:33You're not just playing a grebe - you ARE a grebe!

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Grebe! Grebe!

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Where's my flying saucer?

0:11:37 > 0:11:41Mr Franski's bringing it in his garbage truck.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44It was too heavy for Georgia's car.

0:11:48 > 0:11:53- Can't you go any faster?- Francine, I'm driving the speed limit.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55We're already 15 minutes late.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58- DUCK!- What?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03You OK? CRASH!

0:12:03 > 0:12:08- What's that sound? - BOTH: The flying saucer!

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Buster's gonna kill me!

0:12:12 > 0:12:14It's just a prop, sport!

0:12:14 > 0:12:18Come on! We'll think of something. Let's get there!

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Could this night get any worse?

0:12:21 > 0:12:24ENGINE TURNS OVER AND STOPS

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Er...Frankie!

0:12:26 > 0:12:29We have a problem!

0:12:31 > 0:12:34You sure this is the right place?

0:12:34 > 0:12:41Nothing's happening. Relax. Shows always start late. Not this late!

0:12:42 > 0:12:46Still no sign of Francine! We've got to do something.

0:12:46 > 0:12:50- Arthur, you have to be the narrator! - Me? Why me?

0:12:50 > 0:12:55You know it - you only traded parts with Francine last week!

0:12:55 > 0:13:00- I can't sing.- The narrator doesn't sing in the first number.

0:13:00 > 0:13:05- By the end, Francine will be here! - I don't have my bow tie!

0:13:05 > 0:13:09- Or suspenders!- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

0:13:15 > 0:13:21Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Oh Elwood!

0:13:21 > 0:13:25We request that you refrain from using flash photography,

0:13:25 > 0:13:30turn off cellphones and unwrap candy or lozenges now.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Thank you.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36- APPLAUSE - Howdy!

0:13:36 > 0:13:39- Hi, Arthur!- DW! Shh!

0:13:39 > 0:13:43Howdy! This here's a story about a place you all know

0:13:43 > 0:13:46called Elwood City.

0:13:46 > 0:13:51But what you may not know is it wasn't always a city.

0:13:51 > 0:13:55- Once, it was just miles and miles of trees. - MUSIC STARTS

0:13:55 > 0:14:00# The valley all around us Was nothing but wood

0:14:00 > 0:14:03# The trees were ripe for cutting The timber was good

0:14:03 > 0:14:05# To chop and stump and stub

0:14:05 > 0:14:09# A man known as Jacob...

0:14:09 > 0:14:12# Katzenellenbogan, a lumber tycoon

0:14:12 > 0:14:15# Built a busy sawmill Beside a lagoon

0:14:15 > 0:14:20# Soon wood chips filled the air And got in people's hair

0:14:20 > 0:14:23# Axes gleamed, horses teamed

0:14:23 > 0:14:28# Chop, chop, chop, timber!

0:14:28 > 0:14:32# Jacob Katzenellenbogan Founded Elwood, founded Elwood

0:14:32 > 0:14:35# Elwood City, Elwood City

0:14:35 > 0:14:38# So I went a hiking To find a good spot

0:14:38 > 0:14:42# A place to build a mansion... # PHONE RINGS

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Hello? Where are you?

0:14:45 > 0:14:47We've already started!

0:14:47 > 0:14:52Oh, I see. Just get here as quick as you can!

0:14:52 > 0:14:56Is she coming? The garbage truck broke down!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59They're hitching. And the flying saucer?

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Sit down.

0:15:02 > 0:15:06# ..Houses multiplied

0:15:06 > 0:15:10# Jacob Katzenellenbogan Founded Elwood, founded Elwood

0:15:10 > 0:15:14# Elwood City, Elwood City Jacob Katzenellenbogan! #

0:15:14 > 0:15:19But I wanted it to be called Elmwood!

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Darned bureaucracy!

0:15:23 > 0:15:27But not everyone was happy that Elwood had become a city.

0:15:27 > 0:15:33When the forest was cut down, the beautiful grebe lost her home.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37What's that? A grebe! What's a grebe?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40That!

0:15:40 > 0:15:44That's just Fern! Use your imagination!

0:15:44 > 0:15:48I am using it! I'm imagining I have more candy!

0:15:48 > 0:15:53# Taste the salty tears we weep

0:15:53 > 0:15:57# For the long-lost green-tailed grebe

0:15:57 > 0:16:01# Her sorrows run so very deep

0:16:01 > 0:16:06# For the long-lost green-tailed grebe. #

0:16:06 > 0:16:11- I think it's going really well. - Yeah...

0:16:11 > 0:16:16Where's the flying saucer? Don't hold your breath!

0:16:16 > 0:16:20It was smashed in Francine's garbage truck!

0:16:20 > 0:16:24- Does Buster know?- Yeah, he's locked in the janitor's closet.

0:16:26 > 0:16:31Buster! Open this door right now! You're being very unprofessional!

0:16:31 > 0:16:35I don't care! I'm not a professional!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37You're on!

0:16:38 > 0:16:43Fern's scene is almost finished. What are we going to do?

0:16:43 > 0:16:48I'll write the flying saucer out. Hand me those napkins!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51What about Francine? The narrator's singing part is soon!

0:16:51 > 0:16:54She's on her way!

0:16:54 > 0:16:58Yes, sir! This baby's a one-of-a-kind classic!

0:16:58 > 0:17:04She may not be a speed demon, but she gets great mileage.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10QUACK! A duck!

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Go on, sweetie! Take your time.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16# ..While lumberjacks Were tickled pink

0:17:16 > 0:17:22# The green-tailed grebe She went extinct. #

0:17:30 > 0:17:35Over 100 years, Elwood City has grown bigger and bigger.

0:17:35 > 0:17:40We've had visitors from all over the world.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44Some say we may have even had visitors from outside this world!

0:17:44 > 0:17:47The year is 1952....

0:17:47 > 0:17:54Dear me! Look how high the corn has grown this summer! Yes.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56It's a bumper crop.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Bow-wow-wow-wow!

0:17:58 > 0:18:04What is it? Gee whillikers! Is that a flying saucer in the sky?

0:18:04 > 0:18:08No, Bobby, that is not a flying saucer.

0:18:08 > 0:18:14It is probably just a natural phenomenon such as ball lightning,

0:18:14 > 0:18:18a rare form of lightning in which...

0:18:18 > 0:18:22a persistent and moving luminous sphere can travel...

0:18:22 > 0:18:26It was going to be the best part of the show.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29Now, no-one will ever...

0:18:29 > 0:18:33'..Mis...perception...' Hey! they're going on without me!

0:18:38 > 0:18:42It could be a weather balloon...

0:18:42 > 0:18:46or another type of con...ventional aircraft...

0:18:46 > 0:18:50Or... Or it's a real alien!

0:18:50 > 0:18:54- LAUGHTER - Buster, what are you doing?

0:18:54 > 0:19:00Buster? Who is this Buster you speak of?

0:19:00 > 0:19:03I am Dr Ector -

0:19:03 > 0:19:05behold my claw!

0:19:05 > 0:19:09I come from the planet...Corn...

0:19:09 > 0:19:15and I travelled millions of miles to deliver this important message,

0:19:15 > 0:19:21which will be sung to the tune you Earthlings call Yankee Doodle.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26# Dr Ector came to Earth In a flying saucer

0:19:26 > 0:19:29# Had a message to deliver - be...

0:19:29 > 0:19:32# Be a frequent flosser

0:19:32 > 0:19:35# Floss you teeth every night Floss your teeth all day

0:19:35 > 0:19:39# If you floss your teeth With all your might You won't have tooth decay... #

0:19:39 > 0:19:42Oops!

0:19:45 > 0:19:50There will now be a brief intermission.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53Curtain! Curtain!

0:19:54 > 0:19:58Buster, what were you thinking? Let go of my horn!

0:19:58 > 0:20:02I had to do something. People were falling asleep!

0:20:02 > 0:20:05You destroyed the set!

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Don't we use this in the last number, Mr Ratburn?

0:20:09 > 0:20:13Er..yes... We'll just have to improvise.

0:20:13 > 0:20:19You're right, Brain! I did ruin everything. I'm such a failure.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22If anyone wants me, I'll be in the closet.

0:20:22 > 0:20:29Wait! It's my fault! That stuff about ball lightning was boring!

0:20:29 > 0:20:32You two are lucky! I have to sing!

0:20:32 > 0:20:36And the audience thought the show couldn't get any worse.

0:20:36 > 0:20:42Can't we end it now? I've already damaged my producing career!

0:20:42 > 0:20:46- End the show? Are you crazy? - Francine!- Sorry I'm late.

0:20:46 > 0:20:53- The streets were full of ducks. - You only missed the worst 3rd-grade musical ever!

0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Not what they think! - LAUGHTER

0:20:59 > 0:21:03I thought I was going to die laughing!

0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'm impressed.

0:21:05 > 0:21:10It's got humour, facts, the poetic piece about the bird...

0:21:10 > 0:21:15I liked the monster! Was he a grebe?

0:21:15 > 0:21:18We've got a show to do!

0:21:23 > 0:21:27# Oh, Elwood City so proud, so bold

0:21:27 > 0:21:30# Now you are 100 years old

0:21:30 > 0:21:34# What were dark forests Bogs and fens

0:21:34 > 0:21:38# Is now called home by us children

0:21:38 > 0:21:41# I lift my head and sing to thee

0:21:41 > 0:21:47# Oh, Elwood, Elwood Elwood City... #

0:21:47 > 0:21:52You told us about Elwood City in the past - what's it like today?

0:21:52 > 0:21:56Today? Today, things are a little different.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59Watch out! Coming through!

0:21:59 > 0:22:04- Hey, Buster, wanna get a snack? - You have to ask?

0:22:04 > 0:22:07# Slurping shakes at the Sugar Bowl

0:22:07 > 0:22:10# The crossing guard is on patrol

0:22:10 > 0:22:12- # Soccer games...- I scored a goal!

0:22:12 > 0:22:15# That's Elwood City

0:22:15 > 0:22:17# Reading books at the library

0:22:17 > 0:22:20# Our clubhouse is in a tree

0:22:20 > 0:22:22# Had a comet named after me

0:22:22 > 0:22:24# That's Elwood City

0:22:24 > 0:22:27# When the ice storm blew in

0:22:27 > 0:22:29# Our prospects looked grim

0:22:29 > 0:22:32# We were filled with hunger and fear

0:22:32 > 0:22:35# But we got together and battled the weather

0:22:35 > 0:22:37# With stories, cocoa and cheer

0:22:37 > 0:22:40# Just like pioneers

0:22:40 > 0:22:42# Baseball games with Mighty Mountain

0:22:42 > 0:22:45# Lost a lot, but we're not counting

0:22:45 > 0:22:47# Don't hog the water fountain

0:22:47 > 0:22:49# That's Elwood City

0:22:49 > 0:22:55- # Picnics for all sons and fathers - Hey! I just met Mr Rogers

0:22:55 > 0:22:57# Bought my groceries at Superdeal

0:22:57 > 0:23:01# The ice-cream shop sells gummy eels

0:23:01 > 0:23:05# All clues point in one direction

0:23:05 > 0:23:07# Elwood City is perfection

0:23:07 > 0:23:09# Yes, this town has passed the test

0:23:09 > 0:23:12# It's so much better than the rest

0:23:12 > 0:23:15# Elwood City, you're the best

0:23:15 > 0:23:18# Elwood City, yeah! #

0:23:24 > 0:23:29The next musical about Elwood City, you should be the alien.

0:23:29 > 0:23:35- You're more alien than Buster.- It'll be 100 years till the next one.

0:23:35 > 0:23:39- It was a centennial celebration. - Oh?

0:23:39 > 0:23:44You'll be Jacob Katzen-whatshisname! You'll have a beard by then!

0:23:44 > 0:23:49- Katzenellenbogan...- I wonder what he'd have thought of the show.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58Subtitles by moosesubtitling for BBC Broadcast - 2003

0:23:58 > 0:24:02E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk