0:00:20 > 0:00:25- COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! - # Doo-doo doo, doo-doo doo...#
0:00:25 > 0:00:30- BARNEY SNORES - Morning! Barney!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Eh? Hey, good morning!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Oh, wow! This is a real treat.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39I've got a day off, and breakfast in bed.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42What are we having? Oh...
0:00:42 > 0:00:45blueberry ice cream and, em...
0:00:45 > 0:00:48and sausage. That's interesting, that.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- Yum-yum!- It's a lovely thought. Thank you very much.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55- Hey! Today's the big day! - Oh! Again, again, again!
0:00:55 > 0:01:01OK. "Mr Barney Harwood has been nominated as best TV presenter.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05"Please join us, at the Milton Park Lane Hotel, for the award ceremony."
0:01:05 > 0:01:09- Groovy!- It sure is, mate. I wish you could come too.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12"An evening meal, dress formal."
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Oh, that reminds me! I'd better go and try my dinner jacket on.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20- It's been a while since I wore it. - Aye-aye, Captain!
0:01:20 > 0:01:24- Thanks for sticking it through the wash.- Yeah-yeah!- Oh, no!
0:01:24 > 0:01:26DUM-DUM-DUUUM!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- Aaaaargh!- It's OK, Nev. I know it's not your fault.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37- It must have shrunk in the wash. - Uh-oh!- I'll have to nip into town
0:01:37 > 0:01:41and get a new jacket. What time have I got to be there by tonight?
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Thank you. Aw, no way!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- DUM-DUM-DUUUM! - What way?
0:01:47 > 0:01:52I didn't notice this before! It says there's dancing at the party.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55- Tip-top-a-roo! - BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- But I can't dance. - MUSIC STOPS
0:01:57 > 0:02:01- Why?- I don't know. I've just never been able to... Look,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- I'll show you. - TURNS RADIO ON
0:02:08 > 0:02:10More! More!
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- GLASS SMASHES - Oops!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19See? I told you I'm a rubbish dancer.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24- Nev, what am I gonna do? - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29I'll see you later, Nev. I'll be back as soon as I get my new jacket.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- Love you.- When I get back, maybe we can learn to dance.- Tip-top-a-roo!
0:02:33 > 0:02:38- Nice one. See you in a bit. Morning, Postie.- Morning.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42- Hey, Nev. Did I hear that you were wanting to learn to dance?- Um...
0:02:42 > 0:02:47Well, you're in luck, because I'm an expert! We need some music.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- GLASS SMASHES - Oh! Ow!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Eh... OK. - FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Please, please, please, please, please, please, please,
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- please, please, please, please, please!- Miaow!
0:03:03 > 0:03:07What's that, Bandit? You said, "please"?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Rowwwr!- Please, please, please, please, please, please,
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- please, please, please, please, please...- All right! Very well...
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Bouncer Boy. I WILL help you with your homework.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20What is it we have to do?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- It's a maths test. - Ah! Well, that's easy.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Maths was always one of my best subjects.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31Mummy didn't think so. But it was. TEAR-JERKING MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:31 > 0:03:35Maths is a piece of cake, dear nephew.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37All you need are two things -
0:03:37 > 0:03:41a clear mind and peace and quiet. MUSIC STOPS
0:03:41 > 0:03:45That's three things, innit?
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Er... Yeah, well... Let's go to my flat. It's nice and quiet there.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54MR PRANKS GROANS
0:04:01 > 0:04:04FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Ay-ay-ay!- Shibidee-ah!
0:04:13 > 0:04:15Ole!
0:04:17 > 0:04:21See? Keep the head straight.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25And remember, it's all in the eyes.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Ay-eeeee! Ole!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Ole! Ole! Ole!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Ole! Ole! Mwah!
0:04:34 > 0:04:39FEET STOMP, FLAMENCO PLAYS Oh! Oh, strewth!
0:04:39 > 0:04:44Cor! Me old ceiling's not looking too clever. I hope it's not termites.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49I hate termites! Pesky blighters. THEY SQUEAK
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Oi, you crazy critters! If you want to eat wood, find a forest!
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Oh, no! I'd better warn Nev. Cos if they're in my ceiling,
0:04:57 > 0:05:01they might be in his floor, too. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Right. OK. Right now... This is... It's...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09No. No, it's not. It's...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- No! I had it. I had in me head then. - Ole! Ole! >
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- FLAMENCO PLAYS LOUDER - 4 x 9 doesn't equal 3!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Even I know that!- I know!
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Uncle's no good at maths. - It's hard to be good at anything
0:05:30 > 0:05:34with t-t-that racket disturbing your concentration!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Now, then. It's... It is!
0:05:42 > 0:05:47Um... 9 x 4 is... one, two, three, four...
0:05:49 > 0:05:53- CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS - Oh!
0:05:53 > 0:05:58I love the crazy Caribbean beats! Yeah!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Right... Now we're warmed up, it's time to try
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- one of my favourite dances - the limbo!- What's that?
0:06:05 > 0:06:10- It's when you dance under the pole in time to the music.- Uh-oh!
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Oh, come on! You can do it. Come on.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17That's it. That's it. Give it all you've got.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Shibidee-ah! - POSTIE LAUGHS
0:06:22 > 0:06:27- Doo-be-doo.- Go on.- Shibidee-ah!- Yay!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- Go, Nev!- I win, I win!
0:06:33 > 0:06:38- I win!- Psst! Nev, mate... it's termites. In your floor.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER
0:06:41 > 0:06:46- Nev!- Yay!- No joy here! You'll have to sort this out yourself, Keith.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- Groovy!- Now, what we have to do here is...
0:06:51 > 0:06:54BOUNCER SNORES If we carry the two over there,
0:06:54 > 0:06:59that will mean that we've got one, er...one milk bottle left...
0:06:59 > 0:07:04on the doorstep. Which, er... Which should give us, er...
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Shibidee-ah!- Now remember,
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- it's important to keep balanced on your heels. Ready?- OK!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Aaaaaarrrgghh!
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Postie!- Aaargh!- Uh-oh!
0:07:17 > 0:07:19THUD! Uuuhhhh! That's it!
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- That's it!- Where are you going? We haven't finished yet!
0:07:23 > 0:07:26I'm going to put an end to the noise!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29That's where I'm going. DOOR SLAMS
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Miaow!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, Mr Prank!
0:07:37 > 0:07:42- What a wonderful surprise!- Yes, well, if you'll excuse me...
0:07:42 > 0:07:47- I'm in a rage!- Oh, he's so masterful!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Aaaat-chooo!
0:07:56 > 0:08:01- Hello, Mr Angry Pants!- Since we aren't on the beaches of Barbados,
0:08:01 > 0:08:06or in some dodgy disco in downtown Dominica,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09then why is this infernal racket blazing out?
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- Smile, please!- Smile? I'll give you...
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Aaaaat-chooo!
0:08:15 > 0:08:18I'll give you a smile!
0:08:19 > 0:08:23This is all your fault...bear!
0:08:23 > 0:08:26The racket, the banging... MR PRANK SNIFFLES
0:08:26 > 0:08:32- ..the allergies. This is all down to you, isn't it?- Excuse me!
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Run!- It kissed me!
0:08:37 > 0:08:40A bear kissing me! Eurgh!
0:08:40 > 0:08:45Oh. So that's where the noise is coming from. I might have guessed.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Turn it off, bear.- No way, Jose!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51BHANGRA MUSIC PLAYS Oh, yeah. Turn it off,
0:08:51 > 0:08:56- else I'll turn you into a blue bear sorbet.- Can't scare me!
0:08:56 > 0:09:00CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Come here, bear.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11- Shibidee-ah! - I'll give you shibidee-ah!
0:09:20 > 0:09:24CREAK! Ow! Oh! Oh, me back!
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Again! Again! Ha-ha!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31MUSIC STOPS
0:09:32 > 0:09:37Ah, at last. Peace and quiet.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42Now...to deal with you, my snaggle-eared nemesis!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47You can't hide from me...bear.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51CREAK! Oh! Oh! Ah!
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Well, you may have got away this time,
0:09:57 > 0:10:01but I'll get you back...bear!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07What am I doing?!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13DOOR SLAMS
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- NEV PANTS - Fwightened.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22Frightened? Ah, nothing to be frightened of down here, Nev, mate.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- FEET STOMP Just the termites up there.- Confused.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30I tried to tell you earlier. They're up there, in the timbers.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Little creepy-crawlies, burrowing about.- Nothing.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38I know you can't see them - they're clever like that.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42I'm gonna drill some boreholes and find the little blighters.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46DRILL REVS Crazy Keith's coming to get you!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55DRILL WHIRRS
0:10:55 > 0:10:59So, Nev, how's the dancing going?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Nev? Nev?!
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Oh. DRILL REVS
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- When will you have all the answers ready, Uncle?- Don't worry.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22The situation has been sorted. I don't expect any more interruptions.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Now, then. Where was I? Oh, the chalk, yes...
0:11:25 > 0:11:28CREAK! Ohhh!
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Not again!- Miaow!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Hey, Nev!
0:11:37 > 0:11:39I'm home. I've got the jacket.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43But we don't have much time if I'm gonna learn to dance.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Here I am.- Hello, mate. I didn't see you there.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Have you had any ideas of how to teach my two left feet
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- how to twirl the light fantastic? - Yeah-yeah! Postie!
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Oh, wow! You HAVE come up with a plan. Brilliant!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- What is it?- A box.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07OK, Nev...let's get dancing. Turn her on.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- 'Hello, dancers!'- Hello! - 'Simon Sparkles here. Simon says,
0:12:11 > 0:12:16'"Put on your shoes, put on a smile and let's get dancing."
0:12:16 > 0:12:19'Right foot on two. Left foot on one.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23'Right foot on three. Left foot on four.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- 'That's two...one...three and four.' - Hm.- 'Two...
0:12:27 > 0:12:30'one...three and four. Ready?
0:12:32 > 0:12:37'Let's sway! Sway...sway... sway and clap.
0:12:37 > 0:12:42- 'Sway...sway...sway and clap.' - Tip-top-a-roo!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45DRILL WHIRRS Ha-ha!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49I'm gonna find you little things.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52OK. What you need to do is... you put four,
0:12:52 > 0:12:56plus your nine, plus your seven, then minus the seven.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Which means you don't really need to add it at all. No, OK...
0:13:00 > 0:13:03This is nine...plus the four,
0:13:03 > 0:13:08- plus the seven, is, er...- Miaow!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11KNOCKING
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Nev, it's Beatrice.- Groovy!
0:13:16 > 0:13:21- I brought some cake for you and Barney to test.- Love you, beetroot!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27'Left foot on one, right foot on three. Looking good!
0:13:28 > 0:13:31'You're a natural!'
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Barney! What are you boys up to?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Disco!- Dancing.- Disco dancing?
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- Yeah-yeah!- No. I'm going to an award ceremony later on,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45and look, there's gonna be dancing.
0:13:45 > 0:13:50- Except...- You can't dance.- No. - Would you like me to show you?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59DISCO MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Smile, please!
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Quick!- And one and two and three...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- GLASS SMASHES - Uh-oh!
0:14:17 > 0:14:22- Miaow!- Uncle, why is it always so noisy in here?- Yeah, yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26- I thought you sorted it. - Yeah, 40...48!- Uncle!
0:14:26 > 0:14:31- No, 49.- Uncle. Uncle. Uncle... - MUSIC GETS LOUDER
0:14:31 > 0:14:35I warned that blue fur-ball. I warned him!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Maybe you should take up something safer, like...
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- mountain climbing, or lion taming. - Yeah-yeah!
0:14:47 > 0:14:51No, I am going to the ceremony, and I'm going to learn to dance
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- if it is the last thing I do.- Uh-oh!
0:14:54 > 0:14:58- Seriously. Nothing's gonna stop me. - KNOCKING
0:15:00 > 0:15:03A man can't think with all this din.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15MR PRANK GROWLS
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22My cake! Aw!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Is it all right?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- I like the hint of lemon.- Yum-yum!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Aaa...aaa...
0:15:32 > 0:15:35aaat-chooo!
0:15:37 > 0:15:42Bear! Music! What's going on here?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Aaat-chooo!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Mr Pants... Eh, Mr Prank. Sorry.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52Beatrice was just giving me a dancing lesson. Did we disturb you?
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Dancing, you say? As in...
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- ballroom?- Uh-oh.
0:16:00 > 0:16:05- Disco, actually. We've not got round to ballroom yet.- In that case...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08let there be music. BALLROOM MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:11 > 0:16:14And...let the lesson...begin.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- ALL:- Lesson?!- Oh, yes.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24I was once the Blackpool and District Cha-cha-cha Champion.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29- Cha-cha-cha champion?- No-no-no-no! - Oh, yes. Everyone watching?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Good. Now, we have to remain relaxed...
0:16:34 > 0:16:37in the hip, OK? And it's...
0:16:37 > 0:16:39step, step, cha-cha-cha.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Step, step, cha-cha-cha.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46- We bend and we straighten the leg. - Leg, Mr Prank?- Yes.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50The weighted leg has to be straight. The straighter the better,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53if you want to be a champiano, like me.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57Mummy always said that I had legs like table legs -
0:16:57 > 0:16:59they were so straight.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03KEITH PANTS
0:17:03 > 0:17:07Step, step, cha-cha-cha. It's very easy. Join in.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16You have to warn Mr Prank about Crazy Keith's drilling,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- or he'll fall through the floor.- Ah!
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Let him fall! - Oh, but you can't do that!
0:17:22 > 0:17:26- I'm the bad duck. That's me job!- Confused.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Excuse me!
0:17:34 > 0:17:39- Excuse me, Mr Angry Pants. - What is it...bear?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Er...nothing.
0:17:46 > 0:17:52- And the legs go straight.- Thanks, Mr Prank. I've got the hang of it now.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59And step, step... FLOORBOARDS CREEK
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Cha-cha-cha!
0:18:06 > 0:18:10MUSIC STOPS, MR PRANK COUGHS
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Ooooh!
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Get me out of here!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Er, never mind.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Ha-ha-ha!
0:18:32 > 0:18:36- Well, good luck. I'm sure you'll have a great night.- I hope so.
0:18:36 > 0:18:41- Remember you don't have two left feet any more. Only one.- I will.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I'm fine. I'm fine.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- Oh, my cake! - BEATRICE WHIMPERS
0:18:54 > 0:18:58On this occasion, bear, I will consider a truce.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Aaat-choo!
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- Can't make me!- Only because I've got to help young Bouncer Boy
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- with his homework.- Mm. - MR PRANK LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:19:08 > 0:19:12- What?! - THEY LAUGH
0:19:17 > 0:19:20Oh, wackadoo! Ha-ha!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Having termites in the ceiling was bad enough.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26But having Angry Pants up there's even worse!
0:19:29 > 0:19:34It's true! Emu feathers are the tickliest in the animal kingdom!
0:19:34 > 0:19:38KEITH SNIFFS Pwoar! Pah!
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Ha-ha!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Really...bear. This is no laughing matter.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47THEY LAUGH Homework is very...
0:19:47 > 0:19:52- Ha-ha!- Homework is very impor... important!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Cha-cha-cha! - MR PRANK'S LAUGHTER ECHOES
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Aw, mate, it was so cool!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- I wish you and Beatrice could've come.- Why?
0:20:04 > 0:20:09Cos you're my mates. To see me get my award. By the way, the dancing -
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- brilliant! Thanks to you. I didn't fall over once.- No way, Jose!
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- I'm glad they were finally able to free Mr Prank.- Me too.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21It's hard to believe it took eight firemen and a bar of soap.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25He's a strange man, Mr Prank. He was laughing the whole time.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Anyway... Night-night, mate.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Love you.- I love you, too. - Night-night.- Night.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- Night-night. - Love you lots.- Love you.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- Love you 20 times.- Love you, Barney.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40- 30 times.- Barney.- 40.- Love you. - Infinite!- Barney.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- Love you, Barney.- Love you, too.