0:00:20 > 0:00:23BEAR HUMS TO HIMSELF
0:00:25 > 0:00:29Oh, shut it, Bear! You won't wind me up with that racket!
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Hey, Nev. You actually washed yourself?
0:00:33 > 0:00:36No, no, no! Come bath me! And duckie, please.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- OK, which one? This one?- Yeah!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40There you go. Ooh, it sunk.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44- How's the shelves getting on? - Spot on, Mr Barney, sir!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Spot on! Yeah!
0:00:46 > 0:00:49MOBILE PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. A call.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Hello? Yes? Mr Prank!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Maintenance executive extraordinaire.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Flat 6. Your central heating's broken? Oh, dear.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Tell you what, try wearing a jumper. Goodbye.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Did I tell you I bought a new phone?
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- No.- Oh! I bought a new phone.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13It's got video, text, camera... the inter-web.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Can you put shelves up with it? - Eh? no, no.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- Oh, I see! Yes, I'm right on it, Mr Barney, sir!- Great. Right, then...
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I'm going to get breakfast.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28There. You see that, Bear, it's...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31HE MURMURS
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- Boo!- Atchoo!
0:01:34 > 0:01:38See that? You always set off my allergies.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Argh! Swim!
0:01:41 > 0:01:43ATCHOO!
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- Hello, Mr Angry Pants!- Bear... Grrr!
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Um... Cup of tea, Mr Prank?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Ooooh, yes, please.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Right, well, I've given Mr Prank my dressing gown.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17He's had about three cups of tea. I think he's calming down.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Grrr! I'll marmalise that bear!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
0:02:25 > 0:02:27TV: 'Welcome to the Boffin Channel.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31'Our programmes today include how to recognise dust,
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- 'types of wood...'- Boring!
0:02:34 > 0:02:38'..and staring at walls - a beginner's guide.'
0:02:38 > 0:02:43- Boring, boring!- What's the matter, mate? Nothing on telly?
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Let me have a look.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51'You're watching the Boffin Channel. Our programmes will resume shortly.' BUZZING
0:02:51 > 0:02:55I think it's broken. You're stuck with the Boffin Channel, I'm afraid.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59- I'll get Mr Prank to have a look. - HAMMERING
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Ow, my finger! HAMMERING
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Ow, my foot!
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Er, maybe a bit later.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Too right, bro. - I'd better get to work.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Now, Nev, be nice to Mr Prank. Go easy on him.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- Love you, Barney.- I love you too. See you later.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21BUZZING
0:03:23 > 0:03:24Oh...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26HE SIGHS
0:03:26 > 0:03:29I said I'd come and fix your central heating later.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Now, stop calling me.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40Ah! Now, THAT is a job well done.
0:03:44 > 0:03:45Right...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Oh, that'll do.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Oh, bonzer! Old Angry Pants is gone, Doris!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03And would you believe it?! He's left us his phone!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I could call my rellies in Australia and tell them all about you!
0:04:06 > 0:04:12Can't cost THAT much to call Oz, can it? You stay here.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17HE GASPS
0:04:17 > 0:04:20TV: 'We hope you enjoyed the last programme -
0:04:20 > 0:04:26- 'Soup Through The Ages.' - No, no, no, no. Yucky. Boring.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29'Next on the Boffin Channel,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32'it's Teach Yourself Hypnotism.'
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Groovy!
0:04:35 > 0:04:39'Hello! Want to learn how to hypnotise someone?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43'Make them do anything you want? Here's how...'
0:04:43 > 0:04:45TICKING
0:04:45 > 0:04:50'That was Teach Yourself Hypnotism.'
0:04:50 > 0:04:55- Yeah!- 'And now, some music to listen to while you cut your toenails.'
0:04:55 > 0:04:58No way, Jose!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01SWITCHES TV OFF
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Snuggly duckie duck duck.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Quack!- Looky my eyes...
0:05:07 > 0:05:11Looky my eyes...
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Hmm. Tut!
0:05:15 > 0:05:20What's up? It's Keith! I'm calling from the other side of the world!
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- Crazy Keith!- What?! Your boomerang didn't come back?!
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- No! Tell me about it! - I know, I know!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Yeah, that's right, Auntie Madge!
0:05:32 > 0:05:36I've met this bonzer sheila! Her name's Doris.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Keith!
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Aaaaargh!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43SPLASH!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Oh, crikey!- Yucky!
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Angry Pants? - Yeah, it's Angry Pants's phone!
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Uh-oh!- He might have a big bill coming his way,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58so maybe it's lucky the evidence is down the dunny!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04MR PRANK: Bear?! Have you seen my new phone?!
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- You'd better not be messing with it. - Angry Pants!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Where's my phone, Bear?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Come on, open up! I want my phone.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- What now?!- Hmm...
0:06:17 > 0:06:21- I know, I know!- What? You've had an idea, haven't you?
0:06:21 > 0:06:27Open this door, or I'll bash it down and use you as a draught excluder!
0:06:29 > 0:06:34Crazy Keith, looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!
0:06:34 > 0:06:38What are you up to?! No, you don't!
0:06:38 > 0:06:41You can't hypnotise me, mate! My mind is like a...
0:06:43 > 0:06:46What would you have me do, O master Nev?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Keith...phone.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Huh? Hmm...
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Confused.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Groovy!
0:07:00 > 0:07:04BEAR?! This is your last chance.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Keith...phone!
0:07:10 > 0:07:12SPLASH!
0:07:12 > 0:07:17Right, you little, blue BEAR-barian! Where's my phone?!
0:07:17 > 0:07:23- NEV SCREAMS Where's my phone, Bear?! - Not me! Not me!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Aaaargh!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# Na-na-na-na-nah! #
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Bear!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Come 'ere, Bear!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Right, Bear, this is your last chance!
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Where's...my...phone?
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Um, Angry Pants, looky my eyes!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Looky my eyes...
0:07:52 > 0:07:57What will you have me do, O master Nev?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Jam.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04Jam. Must make Bear jam sandwich.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09- Must make Bear jam sandwich. NEV LAUGHS - Jam, please!
0:08:09 > 0:08:14- Find phone... - FLUSHING - Must find phone! Whoa!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16# Doop-do-do! #
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Jam, please!
0:08:21 > 0:08:26NEV GASPS Made Bear jam sandwich.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31- Jam! Yum-yum! - DOOR CLOSES
0:08:31 > 0:08:36Good morning, Plank. Good morning, Nevy-wevy!
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Woof-woof!- I'm on my way to the charity sale
0:08:39 > 0:08:44in aid of the Society Of Glum Kittens. As you're my favourite dog,
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- I thought you should try one of my cakes.- Yum-yum!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Treat time! Much better than a jam sandwich!
0:08:59 > 0:09:03What do you think? Do you like the cake? Be honest.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Grr-rrr-rrr-grrroovy! Woof-woof!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I'd better offer you one too, Plank.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Tell me what you think. Be honest.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Hmm...
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Hmm...
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Looky my eyes.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Looky my eyes.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29What will you have me do, O master Nev?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Be...honest.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37Be...honest. Must be honest.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Bleurgh! That's horrible!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44What have you put in that, Miss Barbara?!
0:09:44 > 0:09:49The only thing more disgusting than that is your dress!
0:09:49 > 0:09:54You look like a trifle that's learnt to walk with a colander on your head!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58Good gravy! I give you a cake, and all you can do
0:09:58 > 0:10:02is come out with insults?! You're not just a terrible caretaker,
0:10:02 > 0:10:07you're also very rude! Uncle Rupert's going to hear about this!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13HE LAUGHS
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Funny!
0:10:17 > 0:10:22Have another one of my lovely cakes. Don't worry -
0:10:22 > 0:10:24I've plenty more of them.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26There you go. Good doggy.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- MUFFLED:- Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Mmm! Mmm!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Delicious!
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Actually, they do taste a bit odd.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Maybe I added salt instead of sugar.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49Or maybe my inspired use of prunes wasn't such a good idea.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- TUMMY RUMBLES - Oh dear... Oh...
0:10:52 > 0:10:54GURGLING
0:10:54 > 0:10:56P-FFF-RRRT!
0:10:56 > 0:11:01Don't panic, Neville, but I think I may have to use your loo!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03SCREAMING
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I WILL have to use your loo!
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- No, no, no, no! - Might be a little while!
0:11:09 > 0:11:12PFFRT! PFFFR-RRT!
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Woof-woof-woof! - I'd love to play with you,
0:11:16 > 0:11:21but I've got to go to he loo. You see, these prunes upset my tummy.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23- Eurgh! - PFFRT!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Oh... I know, I know!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Looky my eyes.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Looky my eyes.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35What would you have me do, O master Neville.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Cooker...on.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Quick!
0:11:39 > 0:11:43What? I've left the cooker on in my flat?
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Oh, no. Must turn cooker off.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Turn cooker off.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Turn cooker off.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Oooh, phew!
0:11:58 > 0:12:03Find phone. Must find phone.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05We're fish!
0:12:05 > 0:12:09- Must find phone.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Phwoar, ha ha ha ha!
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Now, where are we?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16HE GASPS
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Strewth!
0:12:22 > 0:12:27Must be honest. Must be honest. Must be honest.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Hello, Mr Prank. How are you this lovely day?
0:12:31 > 0:12:36Must be honest. Hello, Postie. I dreamt about you last night.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Did you really, Mr Prank?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40I dreamt that we had a kiss.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oooh, really?
0:12:42 > 0:12:46When I say dream, more of a nightmare. I woke up screaming.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Oh, what a horrible thing to say!
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Ooh, I'm gonna flatten you!
0:12:57 > 0:12:58Uuurggh!
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Oh, Mr Prank!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Ooh, I'm ever so sorry!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Are you all right?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08HE GROANS
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Oooh!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Wha-wha-wha-what's going on?
0:13:13 > 0:13:14My phone.
0:13:16 > 0:13:22Wait a minute. I bet this has got something to do with that bear.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26I'll marmalise him when I get hold of him.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Ooooh!
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Awww!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Hello, Keith.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Crazy Keith.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Keith.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Doris say, love you, Keith.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Oh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Find phone. Must find phone.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Strewth!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55I need that phone. Open up, mate.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Hee-hee-hee-hee!
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Ah, so you want to play it like that, do you?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04OK, and tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Ha ha ha ha.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11Found phone! Keithy boy found phone! Bonzer!
0:14:11 > 0:14:17Turn cooker off. Turn cooker off.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Oooh!
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Oooh, oh dear.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I do feel strange. What am I doing here?
0:14:32 > 0:14:37Oh, dear me. I must have had one of my funny turns.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39My tummy's quite unsettled.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40TUMMY RUMBLES
0:14:40 > 0:14:41PFF-RRRT!
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Oooh! Toilet now!
0:14:46 > 0:14:51Oh, I need the loo NOW! I need the loo!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Crazy Keith gone.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55DOOR SLAMS
0:14:55 > 0:15:00Bear! I don't know going on but I've got a few bones to pick with you.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Oh!
0:15:02 > 0:15:07- Waaah! - Come here, bear! Come here, bear!
0:15:07 > 0:15:08CRASH
0:15:11 > 0:15:18Looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Oh no! I know what you're up to, bear.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26You're not playing any of your weird hypnotising tricks on me.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30See, all I have to do is not look at you.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Hello, Mr Angry Pants.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Huh?
0:15:36 > 0:15:41Looky my eyes! Looky my eyes!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47What will you have me do, O' Master Nev?
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Angry Pants Dinosaur.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Me, angrysaurus dinosaur.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57AARRGGGGHH
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Groovy!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Oh, Nevy-wevy!
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Auntie Baba desperately needs to use your loo right now.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21What do you think you're doing, you useless man?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Me dinosaur! GRRRRR!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31These are my cakes for my charity cake sale!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Oh!
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Ooh!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36HER TUMMY RUMBLES
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Oh no!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39PFF-RR-RT!
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Oh, Neville! I need to use your loo!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44PFF-RR-RT!
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Uh-oh!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49PFF-RR-RT!
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Looky my eyes. Looky my eyes.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57What would you have me do, Oh Master Nev?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Loo, no, no, no, no, no.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Don't use loo. Don't use loo.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05PFF-RR-RT!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Ooh, dinosaur need loo!
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Dinosaur need loo!
0:17:11 > 0:17:12PFF-RR-RT!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
0:17:14 > 0:17:17< He found phone. He found phone.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18Crazy Keith!
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Phewee!
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Crazy Keith. Crazy Keith.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Found phone. Found phone.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Oh, yucky.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Find phones. Must find more phones.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Uh-oh! Three, two, one... BOO!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Strewth! I feel a bit weird, Nevy?!
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Hang on, why am I all wet?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Oh! Ah!
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Please tell me I haven't been diving down the dunny!
0:17:54 > 0:17:58Me dinosaur! Dinosaur need toilet NOW! >
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Quick, Keith, run!
0:18:01 > 0:18:07Come on, Doris, we're out of here.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10GRRRRRAAAGGGGHH!
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Uh oh!
0:18:16 > 0:18:20HE SNORES
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Phone.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Nev, I'm home. >
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Phewee!
0:18:35 > 0:18:37What's going on?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Nev? Aunt Bea?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Nothing.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Don't need loo. Don't need loo.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Three, two, one, BOO!
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Oooh!
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Oh, I feel quite out of sorts and I really must use your loo.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Will you excuse me, Barney and Nev?
0:18:54 > 0:18:55PFF-RR-RT!
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- Excuse me, this is an emergency! - Yes.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06And it's all your fault, Bear!
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Oh, hello Mr Barney, sir. Let me explain, you see.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12It's all coming back to me now.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17Your bear's been up to no good. He stole my phone.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- No.- Hang on a second, Mr Prank.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25I'm sure Nev didn't steal it. You've left it somewhere. I'll call it.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28No, no, no, no. Your bear's got it. You're in trouble now.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Excuse me.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Hello.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- Nev stole your phone, did he? - Excuse me, I'm on the phone.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44- Cos I'm on the phone as well. It's me. I'm on the phone.- Oh yeah!
0:19:44 > 0:19:45- It was in your pocket.- Yeah.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49Mr Prank, if you've finished doing the shelves,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Can you help me set this TV up? It's for the bedroom.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57I'll finish the shelves off tomorrow, Mr Barney, sir, OK?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Won't I, Bear?
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Can't scare me!
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Do you know what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on you, Bear?
0:20:05 > 0:20:06PFF-RR-RT!
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Oooh no! That ain't right! Ooooh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:09PFF-RR-RT!
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Oooh, no! I need the toilet! Oooh!
0:20:15 > 0:20:20Oh, no no! I need it now!
0:20:20 > 0:20:22MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Hello?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Yes, Mr Prank speaking.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30Hello, Flat Six, I will fix the central heating but not yet.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Oh!
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Ha ha ha!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Stinky Prank!
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- So what do you think of the new telly, Nev?- Groovy!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'll get the other one fixed soon.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- Did you learn anything on TV today? - Nothing.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Oh well, never mind.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Oh, it's nearly time for the movie.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57More crispies!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00I don't think so. Not after last time.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04It took months to get the crumbs out of the bed from your crisps.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07NEV SIGHS
0:21:11 > 0:21:15Looky my eyes!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20What would you have me do, O' Master Nev?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22More please!
0:21:22 > 0:21:27More crisps. Must get more crisps.
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:21:41 > 0:21:45E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Yum Yum! Tip-top-a-roo!