Hopalong Small

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0:57:02 > 0:57:04# It doesn't matter if you're tiny or tall

0:57:04 > 0:57:07# It doesn't matter if you're big or small

0:57:07 > 0:57:09# If you want to have fun it doesn't matter at all

0:57:09 > 0:57:12- # You've got it, Big! - Why, thank you, Small! #

0:57:12 > 0:57:14- BOTH:- # Skipping, flipping climbing up a rope

0:57:14 > 0:57:17# Hiding, riding sliding down a slope

0:57:17 > 0:57:19# Skating on an ice cube swinging on a star

0:57:19 > 0:57:23- # It makes no difference what size you are!- Nice!

0:57:23 > 0:57:25# If you want to have fun it doesn't matter at all

0:57:25 > 0:57:28- # Cos here we are we're Big and Small!- Yeah! #

0:57:29 > 0:57:32Well, I don't know about that, Mr Cow.

0:57:32 > 0:57:36I may be a tiny kangaroo but I have a very loud kazoo!

0:57:38 > 0:57:42He-he-he. Did you hear that, Small?

0:57:42 > 0:57:46She's a tiny kangaroo but she has a loud kazoo. He-he.

0:57:46 > 0:57:50- Yep, I heard.- He-he-he.

0:57:50 > 0:57:54And with that Hopalong Sue played a little jig.

0:57:54 > 0:57:57And the cow who wouldn't go to bed started dancing.

0:57:57 > 0:57:59He-he-he.

0:57:59 > 0:58:03He danced his way right back into the barn where Sue

0:58:03 > 0:58:07- tucked him in and turned out the light.- Shhhwww.

0:58:07 > 0:58:14Goodbye, Hopalong Sue. Until tomorrow. Same time, same station.

0:58:14 > 0:58:17Oh, Hopalong Sue! Oh!

0:58:17 > 0:58:21I just love this show! He-he! I love this show!

0:58:21 > 0:58:22HE SIGHS

0:58:22 > 0:58:27We interrupt this radio fanfare for an important announcement.

0:58:27 > 0:58:31The Hopalong Sue radio show will actually not be back tomorrow.

0:58:31 > 0:58:35- What? - Because Sue is going on holiday.

0:58:35 > 0:58:38She'll see you next week. Bye-bye.

0:58:39 > 0:58:43Bye-bye. Wait a minute! A week?

0:58:44 > 0:58:48An entire week with no Sue!

0:58:48 > 0:58:52Oh, I will miss her so much!

0:58:52 > 0:58:57- Big, she's a kangaroo on the radio. - Yes.

0:58:57 > 0:59:02Whereas me, I'm a small and I'm right here.

0:59:02 > 0:59:06Oh, I know, Small, I know. But she makes me laugh, see? Look, look!

0:59:06 > 0:59:11Today's show registered a six on the laugh-o-meter.

0:59:11 > 0:59:17- Wow!- A six? Oh, Big. I could do so much better than that.

0:59:18 > 0:59:20HE COUGHS

0:59:20 > 0:59:23Well? I'm waiting.

0:59:23 > 0:59:26- For what?- For you to make me laugh more than a six.

0:59:26 > 0:59:29Oh, all right, OK. Umm...

0:59:29 > 0:59:33Let me see. Oh, I got it! I got it, OK!

0:59:33 > 0:59:37A moose and a goose went on holiday!

0:59:38 > 0:59:41HE SIGHS

0:59:41 > 0:59:43That's a nought, Small.

0:59:43 > 0:59:47OK, then. Oh, I got it, Big! I got it!

0:59:47 > 0:59:50Heblengynyny!

0:59:51 > 0:59:53Heblengynyny!

0:59:54 > 0:59:59Ha-ha! What did you think about that? It's my funniest face.

0:59:59 > 1:00:00Still a nought.

1:00:01 > 1:00:05- Are you sure that thing is working? - Oh, I'm sure.- All right,

1:00:05 > 1:00:09- I'll be right back, OK? I'll be right back.- OK.

1:00:11 > 1:00:13The great Houderini has arrived!

1:00:13 > 1:00:18He'll startle you with feats of magic and will also make you laugh!

1:00:18 > 1:00:21- Ha-ha-ha!- Ha-ha!

1:00:21 > 1:00:26I will now produce, from thin air, a talking camel.

1:00:33 > 1:00:35I said, a talking camel.

1:00:39 > 1:00:42- HE SIGHS - Did you break my wand?

1:00:42 > 1:00:47- You broke it, didn't you?- I don't think magic wands are really magic.

1:00:47 > 1:00:50- I think they're just pretend.- Well, I'm not giving up.

1:00:50 > 1:00:56I'm going to get ten from that meter or my name isn't Houderini!

1:00:57 > 1:01:00# There's no silly joke that I wouldn't do

1:01:00 > 1:01:03# Cos when Big laughs out loud I'm happy too

1:01:03 > 1:01:06# Put my head in a bucket and then

1:01:06 > 1:01:08# He laughs till he aches

1:01:08 > 1:01:10# Let's do it again

1:01:10 > 1:01:13# Painting on whiskers and curled up on a mat

1:01:13 > 1:01:16# Then Big comes along and he thinks I'm a cat

1:01:16 > 1:01:19# There's no silly joke that I wouldn't do

1:01:19 > 1:01:23# Cos when Big laughs out loud I'm happy too

1:01:23 > 1:01:26# Telling tall stories and tickling his toes

1:01:26 > 1:01:29# With a big moustache at the end of my nose

1:01:29 > 1:01:32# When he saw socks that were baked in a cake

1:01:32 > 1:01:36# He laughed so loud I felt the whole house shake

1:01:36 > 1:01:38# There's no silly joke that I wouldn't do

1:01:38 > 1:01:42# Cos when Big laughs out loud I am happy too

1:01:42 > 1:01:45# There's no silly joke that I wouldn't do

1:01:45 > 1:01:48# Cos when Big laughs out loud I'm happy too

1:01:48 > 1:01:51# When Big laughs out loud... #

1:01:51 > 1:01:54Ha-ha-ha! Yeah.

1:01:54 > 1:01:56# I'm happy too. Yeah! #

1:01:58 > 1:02:03How to make Big laugh! I've got it! Oh-ho-ho!

1:02:03 > 1:02:08Yeah, this is going to be great. And also, hilarious! Ha-ha-ha!

1:02:08 > 1:02:11It's funny already. It's already...

1:02:11 > 1:02:17Oh, I'm going to need some coconuts, a kazoo, oh, and a slipper.

1:02:24 > 1:02:26He-he-he.

1:02:33 > 1:02:36He-he-he. Hmm?

1:02:40 > 1:02:43Didn't I have two slippers?

1:02:43 > 1:02:45Hmmm.

1:02:46 > 1:02:49We have a slipper.

1:02:49 > 1:02:52And we are ready!

1:02:52 > 1:02:55Woo-hoo! Ha-ha! OK.

1:02:55 > 1:02:57CLEARS THROAT

1:02:59 > 1:03:03Attention, Big! Attention, Big!

1:03:03 > 1:03:04Is that the radio?

1:03:04 > 1:03:09This is the radio here to inform you that Hopalong Sue

1:03:09 > 1:03:13is back from holiday! Hooray!

1:03:13 > 1:03:14COCONUTS CLACK

1:03:14 > 1:03:16Hooray!

1:03:18 > 1:03:22- Is this for real?- Yes. It's for real.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25Now sit back and enjoy the show

1:03:25 > 1:03:28and be sure to turn on the laugh-o-meter.

1:03:28 > 1:03:31Oh! It's on. He-he, yeah.

1:03:31 > 1:03:35I can't believe Sue is back from holiday already.

1:03:35 > 1:03:37This is great! He-he-he.

1:03:37 > 1:03:42Today's show introduces a brand-new character named Hopalong Small.

1:03:42 > 1:03:44Wha...?

1:03:44 > 1:03:46Hopalong Small.

1:03:46 > 1:03:48He-he-he. OK.

1:03:48 > 1:03:52That's what we said, Hopalong Small.

1:03:52 > 1:03:57Now, one day Hopalong Sue was sick.

1:03:57 > 1:03:59HE COUGHS

1:04:01 > 1:04:05And she was completely not able to work

1:04:05 > 1:04:09so she asked Hopalong Small to watch the cows.

1:04:09 > 1:04:13Good day, Hopalong Small.

1:04:13 > 1:04:18- Will you take over for me because I sure would appreciate it?- He-he-he.

1:04:18 > 1:04:21I'd be quite happy to, Sue.

1:04:21 > 1:04:26- Because I'm quite good with cows, if I do say so myself.- Hmm.

1:04:26 > 1:04:31And because Hopalong Small was so good with cows he gave them grass.

1:04:31 > 1:04:35And corn crunchy cereal, which they loved, for dinner.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37CRUNCHING

1:04:37 > 1:04:40He-he-he!

1:04:40 > 1:04:43He-he-he!

1:04:43 > 1:04:48- This is a great story so far! - I know. So, what does the meter say?

1:04:50 > 1:04:52- Three.- Urgh!

1:04:52 > 1:04:54That's not enough!

1:04:54 > 1:05:01OK, so after the cows ate they went out to play in the grass.

1:05:01 > 1:05:05And they played tag and skipping. And they played with games.

1:05:05 > 1:05:09And they jumped, they even tap danced a little like this.

1:05:13 > 1:05:15He-he-he. That's funny.

1:05:15 > 1:05:20I know. So, what does the meter say now?

1:05:20 > 1:05:23- Oh, 3 1/2.- Is that all?

1:05:23 > 1:05:28Blah-blah-blah! Then, suddenly there was a storm.

1:05:28 > 1:05:30A huge storm.

1:05:32 > 1:05:39Wooo! Wooooo! The wind was whooshing and the cows were stamping.

1:05:44 > 1:05:51Yeah, OK. So, Hopalong Small decided to play the kazoo.

1:05:51 > 1:05:55To get all the cows dancing. One, two, three and a...

1:05:55 > 1:05:57BLOWS KAZOO

1:05:57 > 1:05:59He-he-he.

1:05:59 > 1:06:01BLOWS KAZOO

1:06:01 > 1:06:07Hey! The meter's at five, Small. Oh, I mean, radio announcer. He-he-he.

1:06:07 > 1:06:09Now you're talking! OK.

1:06:09 > 1:06:15Then the wind got really strong and the dancing cows got really fast.

1:06:17 > 1:06:18He-he-he.

1:06:18 > 1:06:22Moo-moo-moo! MOO! MOO!

1:06:23 > 1:06:27Uh, oh! Oh. Ow! Ah!

1:06:28 > 1:06:31He-he-he!

1:06:31 > 1:06:34Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah!

1:06:34 > 1:06:37Ha-ha-ha!

1:06:37 > 1:06:40- Ahhhhh!- Ha-ha-ha!

1:06:40 > 1:06:42This is hilarious!

1:06:42 > 1:06:46I cant..turn...this...thing...off!

1:06:47 > 1:06:50He-he-he.

1:06:50 > 1:06:52Wah! Ah! Oh!

1:06:57 > 1:07:00- He-he.- He-he-he.

1:07:00 > 1:07:01- He-he-he.- He-he.

1:07:01 > 1:07:03- Ha-ha-ha!- Ha-ha!

1:07:04 > 1:07:08THEY LAUGH

1:07:11 > 1:07:14- HE-HE-HE.- Ha-ha!- That was great.

1:07:14 > 1:07:17- That was the most I've laughed ever, Small.- He-he-he.

1:07:17 > 1:07:21Hey, Small, you broke the meter!

1:07:21 > 1:07:28- You were too funny.- I told you. I told you I could do it.- He-he-he.

1:07:28 > 1:07:31Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing. He-he.

1:07:31 > 1:07:37Yeah, me too. You know what, let's not laugh for a while. Yeah.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41THEY LAUGH

1:07:49 > 1:07:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:07:52 > 1:07:55E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk