:00:25. > :00:28.On today's show, Helen cracks a joblg and tries her hand at stand-
:00:28. > :00:33.up. I become a mass they are chef for the animals at Chester zoofplt
:00:33. > :00:43.but will they love or loathe the foods I prepare for them -- Chester
:00:43. > :00:53.
:00:53. > :00:59.Hello. Hello. Take a look at this picture. This is Charlotte with a
:00:59. > :01:06.cheeky face and this is her joke, what is a vampire's favourite
:01:06. > :01:12.fruit? I don't know. A neck-tarine. James sent us this. Why did Captain
:01:12. > :01:16.Hook cross the road? I don't know. To get to the second hand shop!
:01:16. > :01:19.Because he's got a hook, not a hand. You have been getting involved,
:01:19. > :01:22.180,000 of you in fact have been getting involved and going online
:01:22. > :01:26.to the Crack a Joke website. You choose your favourite presenter,
:01:26. > :01:31.get them to tell you a joke, you decide whether or not you think
:01:31. > :01:35.it's funny by throwing a custard pie at them if it's not funny.
:01:35. > :01:38.that away from me. Or a rose if you think it's funny. If you have been
:01:38. > :01:42.online and played the game, you will know that I'm not on there.
:01:42. > :01:47.Apparently, the grown-ups upstairs have deemed me not funny enough to
:01:47. > :01:52.be in that game. So you, I headed to a festival in South East London.
:01:52. > :02:00.Keep that away from me, Harwood. I wanted you lot to decide if I am
:02:00. > :02:03.funny. This is going on the floor before it goes on me. No! The CBBC
:02:03. > :02:09.Crack a Joke website is where you need to go for a laugh. Loads of
:02:09. > :02:12.familiar faces are there, including Barney. I want to be in it too. So
:02:12. > :02:20.to help me find my inner funny, James Campbell headed over to the
:02:20. > :02:25.studio to assess my skills. What do you call a man in a paper suit?
:02:25. > :02:28.don't know. Russell! As you can see, I've got rather a long way to go.
:02:28. > :02:32.That's why I've come to the comedy festival to meet James where
:02:32. > :02:36.hopefully he'll be able to teach me how to be funny. It's not just a
:02:36. > :02:40.lesson though, I've actually got to perform in front of hundreds of
:02:40. > :02:43.children. These guys are all up for a laugh and later, they'll be
:02:43. > :02:47.deciding whether I'm funny enough to make it tonne the site. They've
:02:47. > :02:56.even come equipped with their own jokes. What's green and pear
:02:56. > :03:03.shaped? A pear. Knock, knock. there? Interrupting cow.
:03:03. > :03:09.Interrupting cow... Moo. What goes up but never down? Age.. What do
:03:09. > :03:16.skeletons say before they have a meal Bonn appetite! Why do they go
:03:16. > :03:20.to the doctors... Good jokes, but what about the experts. Standing up
:03:20. > :03:23.in front of people listening to me while being funny. I think the big
:03:23. > :03:26.difference from doing television is when you are doing TV millions of
:03:26. > :03:31.people are watching but you can't see them. Here you will be doing a
:03:31. > :03:35.show in a theatre and there will be 350 people watching. But don't
:03:35. > :03:40.worry, plenty of time to practise and three top tips for you. One,
:03:40. > :03:44.keep it as true as you can. Think of stuff that's happened to you.
:03:44. > :03:48.Tip two, story-telling. Even the smallest joke, even a knock, knock
:03:48. > :03:52.joke is a little story. As soon as you realise someone's telling a
:03:52. > :03:58.story and it has a beginning, middle and end, it clicks people in
:03:58. > :04:01.and they listen more attentively. OK. Move on to step three, the
:04:01. > :04:05.delivery. How much of that is about confidence? If you are confident,
:04:05. > :04:08.are people going to think it's funnier? I think so. I think you've
:04:08. > :04:11.got to be confident and tell the audience that you are going to be
:04:11. > :04:18.funny. OK. Got that, James. He's up first
:04:18. > :04:26.and soon has the audience in stitches. What? With its bottom?
:04:26. > :04:34.Yes, exactly! You put the rope through the cow, through its tummy
:04:34. > :04:39.and out of its bottom! Anybody here watch Blue Peter? Yeah Yeah....
:04:39. > :04:46.Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girl, start your clapping, please. Here
:04:46. > :04:50.goes... A cheer and stamp your feet and go woo for Helen! So, the other
:04:50. > :04:56.day we are sat in the car, music radio is on, the dog starts giving
:04:56. > :05:01.it this and I'm thinking how cool is my dog, he's dancing. He's not
:05:01. > :05:05.dancing, the shoulders go, the tummy goes and he lets out the
:05:05. > :05:09.biggest amount of sick I have ever seen. Anybody ever Doug a snow
:05:09. > :05:15.hole? Do not go in first because you can't get out. Do you know what,
:05:15. > :05:22.these guys said to me if it all goes wrong and they don't laugh,
:05:22. > :05:25.shout a funny word. Knickers! I don't like it out there! It's awful.
:05:25. > :05:29.I think I'm being funny and they don't say anything.
:05:29. > :05:35.It's up to the audience now. Everyone needs to vote whether I'm
:05:35. > :05:39.funny or not. A rose for yes, a custard pie for no. So, ladies and
:05:39. > :05:44.gentlemen, hold up your votes. There's got to be more roses there
:05:44. > :05:49.than there are pies. I think that's about 80% roses, 0% custard pies
:05:49. > :05:53.which mean, Helen, you are a success! I was not expecting that!
:05:53. > :05:57.Thank goodness, I've made it into the game. I thought Helen's
:05:57. > :06:03.performance was fabulous, really funny. I thought it was really
:06:03. > :06:07.funny about the dog being sick. was brilliant! I think she was very
:06:07. > :06:10.good. I am so relieved that that is over! I have a new found respect
:06:10. > :06:15.for anybody who can perform on stage. Yes, I am delighted I've
:06:15. > :06:20.made it into the game, but I'm not celebrating. I'm just glad this is
:06:21. > :06:27.done! I think it might be the sympathy
:06:27. > :06:32.vote. Worthy of a round of applause. Helen Skelton's made it on to the
:06:32. > :06:38.Crack a Joke website! Got to be the hashedest job on the
:06:38. > :06:41.planet and you made it look so easy -- hardest. Here right now we don't
:06:41. > :06:47.know if you are laughing, but there you can see the audience. If you
:06:47. > :06:51.feel like a laugh, you can tell Helen to tell you some jokes. What
:06:51. > :06:56.do you call a tree with a croaky voice? A horse chestnut. Not the
:06:56. > :07:01.best joke for an example really. Do I want to throw roses or a custard
:07:01. > :07:05.pie? Custard pie... Custard pie... I'm going to give you a rose
:07:05. > :07:09.instead. What a gent you are. you are on the website, you may
:07:09. > :07:13.have noticed the voting is open for one of the most prestigious events
:07:13. > :07:16.in the children's calendar, the children's BAFTAS and the CBBC
:07:16. > :07:20.website, including all these little bits like the Blue Peter website,
:07:20. > :07:24.is up for an award, so get voting please. Halloween is round the
:07:24. > :07:30.corner and I bet you are going to parties or trick or treating so you
:07:30. > :07:35.will need an outfit and some inspiration. I used to like making
:07:35. > :07:41.Halloween costumes. No kidding, you know all about them. That's a
:07:41. > :07:51.pumpkin. Fantastic costume. Yes, it is. The trouble I had, I had a row
:07:51. > :07:53.
:07:53. > :07:58.tar inside to keep the pumpkin inflated and it got carried away to
:07:58. > :08:02.my face. You were pumping in it. am a lady! We have invited Verity
:08:02. > :08:09.Treadwell, a top make-up artist into the studio. Verity, do your
:08:09. > :08:13.stuff. Barney, let's go and see her. You don't need make-up.
:08:13. > :08:19.No-one told me about the lightning. That was scary. Can't believe you
:08:19. > :08:22.are scared of that when Quincy is stood there. Welcome to the show.
:08:22. > :08:28.Verity, you are effectively the Head of Stairy make-up, that's your
:08:28. > :08:32.title? Yes. What sort of stuff do you do? I'm responsible for
:08:32. > :08:35.designing and applying the make-up to the scary actors at the London
:08:35. > :08:39.Dungeon. This is your handiwork. He's a funny character. Talk us
:08:39. > :08:45.through what we can see here? was for Halloween. That's one of
:08:45. > :08:49.the witch faces, lots of scabs and cuts. That's a ghost of a little
:08:49. > :08:56.girl, dark circles under the eyes. This is one of our plague faces,
:08:56. > :08:59.really nasty, again a plague face with cuts and scabs all over his
:08:59. > :09:04.hands. Pretty disgusting stuff. Pretty much what we can see in the
:09:04. > :09:08.studio in front of us, isn't it? Don't call him disgusting. In a
:09:08. > :09:15.nice kind of way. Cute. We have got a plague face, yes? Yes, this is
:09:15. > :09:19.the plague face. Lots of boils, cuts, scab, they're all over his
:09:19. > :09:23.face, general disgusting stuff. spots are falling off. That's
:09:23. > :09:27.gross! Leprosy as well! Quite a lot of detail on there,
:09:27. > :09:31.even his teeth have been blackened. How long does it take to make this
:09:31. > :09:34.look? Around 15 minutes to do this look. During Halloween, we are
:09:35. > :09:40.really busy and I might have to do about 30 actors a day, all their
:09:40. > :09:46.faces. So yes, it's really busy for 30 act tors. You have been working
:09:46. > :09:50.on some of our guests. So Quincy, if you wouldn't mind. Very excited.
:09:50. > :09:54.Josh, take a seat. -- actors. Obviously, you've done something to
:09:54. > :10:00.Josh's arm, but this will will part of a bigger outfit. On Halloween,
:10:00. > :10:06.what would you be? Part wear wolf, part human.
:10:06. > :10:11.On your human part, you've got a cut? When you're bitten, you become
:10:11. > :10:15.a vampire, when you are bitten by a wear wolf, you become a wear wolf.
:10:15. > :10:21.Contain the information, Verity, what have you done? You've got to
:10:21. > :10:25.add all the bits, cuts and scars and stuff. They're easy to do.
:10:25. > :10:28.Normal face paint. I've painted a big block of red on there and then
:10:28. > :10:33.I've got my brush and I've gone over with the darker colour and
:10:33. > :10:38.then gone down the middle with an even darker colour. Now I'm just
:10:38. > :10:42.adding fake blood on top of it to give it that fresh cut look. Where
:10:42. > :10:47.do you get fake blood from? From most supermarkets now. If you can't
:10:47. > :10:51.get to the supermarket, you can make your on. Get some normal
:10:51. > :10:56.treacle or syrup and add food colouring into it. That's an easy
:10:56. > :11:03.way to make fake blood. What about tomato sauce? You can use that.
:11:03. > :11:07.would go crusty like a scab. What sort of butties do you eat? So you
:11:07. > :11:12.are layering it aren't you, putting lots of layers on? Yes, it's really
:11:13. > :11:17.important that you are careful when you are awe pliing it. Get lots of
:11:17. > :11:21.practise and get mum and dad to help you -- applying it. The more
:11:21. > :11:29.you do, the better you will get. Josh, part wear wolf, part human,
:11:29. > :11:35.come over here. Quincy, if you bring in our next person. That is
:11:35. > :11:39.cool! Right, Lauren, what would you be on Halloween? A zombie.
:11:39. > :11:43.A zombie. So we have started your costume with a bruise around the
:11:43. > :11:47.eye. Talk us through what you have done, Verity? Yes, bruises are
:11:47. > :11:50.really great and easy to do at home. Basically, you need to start off
:11:50. > :11:55.with lots of different colours, look at how old you want the bruise
:11:55. > :11:59.to look. This is quite a fresh one, so we've done some yellly round the
:11:59. > :12:03.edges, gone in with some red and a bit of blue, just using a normal
:12:03. > :12:06.sponge to dab it on, being really careful blending out the edges. Now
:12:07. > :12:10.I'm going over again with some fake blood to give it that scabby look.
:12:10. > :12:13.So you have used blue and yellow. I suppose you see that in a bruise,
:12:13. > :12:19.don't you, maybe a bit of green? Yes, there are lots of colours in a
:12:19. > :12:22.brew. The older they are, they tend to be more yellow, green and brown.
:12:22. > :12:29.But this is a fresh one with red and blue in it. You don't have to
:12:29. > :12:33.be an artist to do this, do you? Not at all, it's easy to do. Have a
:12:33. > :12:37.look at bruises on the Internet and just go ahead. Blending using a
:12:37. > :12:46.sponge to put the colours on and lots of practise. Lauren, do you
:12:46. > :12:51.want to come over here and join us. Quincy, next?! Come, come. Last
:12:51. > :12:55.one! Hi, Jamie, how you doing. You have been working on Jamie for a
:12:55. > :13:00.while? Yes, I wanted him to look like an old ghosty character that
:13:00. > :13:05.we have. First of all, I started off with a white face paint to give
:13:05. > :13:10.him that pail look. I've shaded in down his cheek bones and his eyes.
:13:10. > :13:17.I got him to screw up his face for me and then, where the lines are,
:13:18. > :13:21.just go over with a darker colour and that gives you that really old
:13:21. > :13:27.look. It's surprising how effective that can be. While you have been
:13:27. > :13:32.doing that, Jamie has aged a year. It's his birthday, so that's why.
:13:32. > :13:38.Happy birthday. Thanks for celebrating it with us. You look a
:13:38. > :13:45.million dollars mate. If you can't get hold of face paint, could you
:13:45. > :13:49.use anything else? For a ghost, use taling or flour and you can get
:13:49. > :13:55.that dusty old look -- talc. How do you feel about your face at the
:13:55. > :14:01.minute? Really good. Would you recommend that Barney has a go?
:14:01. > :14:05.Barney... Sit, sit. I'm coming. I love how
:14:05. > :14:09.Jamie took a wide berth around Quincy there. Right, from some
:14:09. > :14:13.creepy characters to a stable of entirely different beasts, I headed
:14:13. > :14:18.down to Chester Zoo to meet some very pampered animals. I cooked for
:14:18. > :14:24.them, slaved for them b not all of them were impressed with my
:14:24. > :14:28.culinary skills. Chester Zoo, home to 7,000 different animals and
:14:28. > :14:33.almost 450 different species. From some of the smallest, to the
:14:33. > :14:37.tallest. They each have their own meals created by zoo nutritionist,
:14:37. > :14:41.Dr Andrea Fidget. She spent nine years putting it all together in a
:14:41. > :14:45.giant recipe book. A lot of your job is making sure
:14:45. > :14:48.animals eat the right things, but things that are good for you aren't
:14:48. > :14:52.always necessarily tasty are they? How do you make them eat the things
:14:52. > :14:58.they should? It's all about thinking about how is the best way
:14:58. > :15:02.to give this food and presenting it to the animals, so it might be
:15:02. > :15:06.about presenting it in a ball and flavouring it with fruit juices or,
:15:06. > :15:11.for example, like the giraffe, presenting the food at a height
:15:11. > :15:20.they can eat it from. A lot of it is food presentation, like for us
:15:20. > :15:24.if we were eating. No wonder it's taken nine years. Fruit, vegetables,
:15:24. > :15:29.boiled eggs, I would eat that. are going to be using these recipes
:15:29. > :15:33.to make dinner for some unusual guests. Roll titles. Meet today's
:15:33. > :15:37.party animals, or should I say dinner party animals. Our host
:15:37. > :15:45.Helen is about to feed four of the fussiest foodies in Chester. She
:15:45. > :15:52.hasn't got a clue what she's in for. And neither have they!
:15:53. > :16:02.Helen, you have four dinner guests to impress. Eliza, the great bill,
:16:03. > :16:06.
:16:06. > :16:11.the red panda and Sid the pig and the Komodo dragon. Your food will
:16:11. > :16:17.be tested. Straight to the Indian horn bill, loves a diet of fruit
:16:17. > :16:21.and insects, so Helen's making eggy insect salad with Wigley bits. She
:16:21. > :16:27.combines tomatoes, apple, banana, papaya, any truet she can find and
:16:27. > :16:37.chucks it in a bowl. That bag's making a noise. I'm going to look
:16:37. > :16:37.
:16:37. > :16:47.in it -- any fruit she can find. Can you hear that? Oh, get on with
:16:47. > :16:51.
:16:51. > :16:58.it! These are ground up injects. Grate that. OK. Egg. Once you start
:16:58. > :17:02.to stair it up, you get a real whiff of... Dead insect.
:17:02. > :17:06.It smells a little bit like, if you ever cleaned out a horse. That's
:17:06. > :17:11.quite enough of that! Hope you are ready. That looks all right. Not
:17:11. > :17:17.sure about that bit. I wouldn't eat it. Dinner is more than half an
:17:17. > :17:22.hour late. That is not a happy face and the aim is to get Eliza to eat
:17:22. > :17:27.it. Sorry you don't like your maggot. We are having a feeding
:17:27. > :17:32.issue. There you go. We are having a bit of a nightmare here. That's
:17:32. > :17:40.all right, you have a little poo there. Excusey...
:17:40. > :17:47.Right. I give up. Please, Eliza, take some more. She literally threw
:17:47. > :17:51.my food back at me! This is embarrassing. Eight out of ten for
:17:51. > :17:58.preparation and presentation, but Eliza was sulky about having to
:17:58. > :18:02.wait, which is why she didn't eat out the bowl. Thex up, the red
:18:02. > :18:09.panda who spends most of her time up a tree. Eats leaves and bamboo,
:18:09. > :18:14.but also needs her fibre, so Helen is making pellet panda cake with
:18:14. > :18:24.fruit garnish. Four scoops of that. They'll like me if I make them big
:18:24. > :18:25.
:18:25. > :18:35.cakes. Right. I've put too much water in already. There's a panda
:18:35. > :18:35.
:18:35. > :18:41.cake. No cake I've ever seen. Where's the icing. That-dar.
:18:41. > :18:45.Tahdar. Dinner time and at least it's on time!
:18:45. > :18:51.Come on, sweetheart. That's what you do for a cat. This is a panda.
:18:51. > :18:56.There you go. Come on. Not a good sign. She's retreating into the
:18:56. > :18:59.tree tops. She's coming down. She's eating it. Haven't seen her eat any
:18:59. > :19:08.of the panda cake yet. That's because you keep feedinging her
:19:08. > :19:13.grapes. What about the cake? Shaest so gentle. OK, enough with the
:19:13. > :19:18.cuteness, score, please. -- She's so gentle. I think for this one,
:19:18. > :19:23.I'll give Helen a ten out of ten. Nurblly she made panda cakes, doing
:19:23. > :19:30.something like that for the first time ever was good -- initially.
:19:30. > :19:40.Persistence and patience won the panda over. You but she only fed
:19:40. > :19:46.
:19:46. > :19:50.her grapes. Next, the Komodo dragon who carries 50 bacteria. Look away
:19:50. > :19:57.if you are skwee mish. Three mice. One, two, three. Before
:19:57. > :20:07.they can go in the blender, they have to be chopped up. Look away...
:20:07. > :20:12.She's eye-balling me. OK, three chopped up mice, three baby rats..
:20:12. > :20:19.Helen is mixing mice, rats and pink rats. How much would you have to
:20:19. > :20:22.pay me to drink that?! artificial colours or press
:20:22. > :20:25.Conservativetives. Basically I've got to lay this trail before Flora
:20:25. > :20:30.comes out because I'm covered many bits of this juice now so
:20:30. > :20:34.apparently there is a chance that the Komodo dragon might mistake me
:20:34. > :20:39.for food and have a nibble of my arm. And we wouldn't want that.
:20:39. > :20:43.Helen is laying a trail of the milk shake as an appetiser for the first
:20:43. > :20:50.course. This is the trail and there is the reward. Two mice at the end.
:20:50. > :21:00.Two there and one there. Just to break up the trail. Here she comes.
:21:00. > :21:03.
:21:03. > :21:06.Come on, come on. Yes! She's eaten I think that's a victory. It took
:21:07. > :21:12.her a while, she wasn't sure whether to go for the main course,
:21:12. > :21:15.but when she did, she practically inhaled that food. For feeding the
:21:15. > :21:19.dragon Flora, Helen gets a ten out of ten for bravery and Flora took
:21:19. > :21:24.her time but she got there in the end. Yes, but the presentation was
:21:24. > :21:29.rubbish. Finally, meet father of eight, Sid the pig, it's only the
:21:29. > :21:38.adult males who get the warts. Shame, nice hair though! For Sid,
:21:38. > :21:44.here is Helen's version of Vichyssois. Pig food to me and you.
:21:44. > :21:49.Vitamins and minerals all in. Does Sid know it's out of a packet? I'm
:21:49. > :21:53.sure he can tell. I'm hoping he'll like it.
:21:53. > :22:03.Interesting serving technique. been not to get bitten. Sound
:22:03. > :22:11.
:22:11. > :22:17.Some people would consider snatching at your meal. I'm taking
:22:17. > :22:24.this as a compliment that not only did he like the food, but he is
:22:24. > :22:30.eating it. He was just hungry. Watch out, Sid's turned nasty.
:22:30. > :22:34.Look! It will be a ten out of ten for appreciation, but I'll knock a
:22:34. > :22:40.point out because the table service wasn't up to scratch and Sid had to
:22:40. > :22:46.grab his plate from Helen. That's harsh. Today I have upped my
:22:46. > :22:52.culinary skills significantly and Flora, Sid and Lechwai weren't
:22:52. > :22:59.complaining. Eliza... She'll get over it, give her time to calm down.
:22:59. > :23:03.Taxi! That bird was really creepy when it eye-balls you. Don't worry
:23:03. > :23:06.though, someone fed it after I left. Have you been going through
:23:06. > :23:10.Verity's make-up bag? I don't know if it's the facial expression or
:23:10. > :23:14.the make-up that I'm more worried about. I would never go through her
:23:14. > :23:19.bag, how very dare you! But I took some of her top tips on board and
:23:19. > :23:23.I've aplayed it to my facial area and I'm ready for Halloween, bring
:23:23. > :23:27.it on. Good. Why wouldn't you. I'm going to sit closer to the dog if
:23:27. > :23:31.that's all right. We are going to be joined by the stars of Young
:23:31. > :23:35.Dracula, they have a Halloween- inspired baking treat. You can make
:23:35. > :23:39.those if you are going to have a Blue Peter bake sale. You may have
:23:39. > :23:42.heard that going on a theme park ride makes you feel good. I'm sure
:23:42. > :23:46.your parents, especially your mum, will tell you that eating chocolate