Red Nose Day Extravaganza!

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7:00:41 > 7:00:43Hello, and welcome to Blue Peter's...

7:00:43 > 7:00:45Red Nose Day extravaganza!

7:00:45 > 7:00:47- Wait, who are you?- Hang on... - I'm Radzi!

7:00:47 > 7:00:49- You're Radzi?- Really?- Prove it.

7:00:51 > 7:00:52Hang on a minute, you're not Radzi.

7:00:52 > 7:00:54You're supposed to be in the audience.

7:00:54 > 7:00:55Well, it's Red Nose Day!

7:00:55 > 7:00:57ALL CHEER

7:01:14 > 7:01:18Do not worry, Radzi hasn't shrunk and become tiny -

7:01:18 > 7:01:20he is, in fact, just not here today -

7:01:20 > 7:01:23but luckily, we've got the most amazing Red Nose Day crowd.

7:01:23 > 7:01:24Say hi, everyone!

7:01:24 > 7:01:28- ALL:- Hi! - Hello.- Hello, guys. Welcome.

7:01:28 > 7:01:31So, today is all about making your laughs matter,

7:01:31 > 7:01:33so, let's start with Rico.

7:01:33 > 7:01:35Hello, sir. A joke, please.

7:01:35 > 7:01:37Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

7:01:37 > 7:01:40Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? I don't know.

7:01:40 > 7:01:42- Because she might let it go.- Yes!

7:01:42 > 7:01:44- Nice!- That's what we're talking about. Comedy right here.

7:01:44 > 7:01:46A lot of giggles over here, and, Lida,

7:01:46 > 7:01:48you've got a fab joke for us, haven't you?

7:01:48 > 7:01:51- Off you go. - What's a reptile's favourite movie?

7:01:51 > 7:01:54Reptile...? I don't know - what's a reptile's favourite movie?

7:01:54 > 7:01:55The Lizard Of Oz.

7:01:55 > 7:01:57I like that. Yes!

7:01:57 > 7:01:59That's not easy to say

7:01:59 > 7:02:01when someone's pinching your nose, either, is it? Well done.

7:02:01 > 7:02:04As you can tell, today's show is all about LOLs and jokes,

7:02:04 > 7:02:06and luckily, we are joined by a comedy genius -

7:02:06 > 7:02:09it's Joel Dommett from I'm A Celebrity.

7:02:09 > 7:02:12A Frenchman complimented me on my fancy dress dog costume.

7:02:12 > 7:02:16He liked the attention to deTAIL.

7:02:16 > 7:02:19It's "detail" and it's "the tail" in French.

7:02:19 > 7:02:21Very nice. That was lovely. OK, let's walk this way,

7:02:21 > 7:02:23because Joel is going to be judging the winners

7:02:23 > 7:02:26of the comedy classroom competition a little bit later on,

7:02:26 > 7:02:28and letting us know who the winners are.

7:02:28 > 7:02:30Somebody who's not as funny as Joel is Hacker T Dog.

7:02:30 > 7:02:32- Hello, son. - Wahey!- How are you doing?

7:02:32 > 7:02:33- Don't be rude. - You all right, Barney?

7:02:33 > 7:02:35- All right, Lindsey, what's up? - Hello.

7:02:35 > 7:02:36That was a rubbish intro.

7:02:36 > 7:02:37- All right, you lot? - ALL:- Yeah!

7:02:37 > 7:02:39Good to see you. Have you got any jokes for us?

7:02:39 > 7:02:42Yes, got a great joke, Barney, you'll love this one. Ahem.

7:02:42 > 7:02:45How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

7:02:45 > 7:02:48- With some jam within the doughnut. - WIND WHISTLES

7:02:48 > 7:02:50- No...- The man loves a doughnut or two!

7:02:50 > 7:02:53- Do you understand? - I think because...- Jammin'.

7:02:53 > 7:02:55I think the joke is, he likes it wi' jam in. I think that's...

7:02:55 > 7:02:57- I don't get it. - That's one of his songs.

7:02:57 > 7:02:58OK, as well as that,

7:02:58 > 7:03:00I've got chills - they're multiplying.

7:03:00 > 7:03:02- I like what you did there. - Get it?- Very good.

7:03:02 > 7:03:04Cos we're going to be joined by the cast of Grease,

7:03:04 > 7:03:06having a little song and dance later on in the show.

7:03:06 > 7:03:07Hello, there they are. Lovely.

7:03:07 > 7:03:09Now, as part of this year's Red Nose Day,

7:03:09 > 7:03:12I've been challenged to write a joke about something very simple.

7:03:12 > 7:03:14Mentored by the amazing Peter Kay,

7:03:14 > 7:03:17- I then had to go out and have a joke...- Hacker, stop it.

7:03:17 > 7:03:19..to as many people as possible in one day.

7:03:19 > 7:03:21It's called Barney's Jokeathon. Here's part one.

7:03:23 > 7:03:28It is 6:14am. Why am I up this early? Well, it's simple.

7:03:28 > 7:03:31I'm going to try and tell my joke to as many people as possible today.

7:03:31 > 7:03:33How do I do that? I have to find people first.

7:03:33 > 7:03:35Where are their loads of people? London.

7:03:35 > 7:03:36So, we are on a journey to London.

7:03:36 > 7:03:39I'm being followed by the Blue Peter crew. This is Cazza on the clicker.

7:03:39 > 7:03:41- Hi!- Hello, Cazza on the clicker. - Hello.

7:03:41 > 7:03:44That's the clicker, that's Cazza. She's going to keep a tab

7:03:44 > 7:03:45of how many people have heard my joke today.

7:03:45 > 7:03:47Just so you can play along at home, as well,

7:03:47 > 7:03:49there's one at the bottom of the screen for you.

7:03:49 > 7:03:50So, yes, it is very early,

7:03:50 > 7:03:52but it's never too early to make people smile -

7:03:52 > 7:03:55so, let's see how funny this joke really is before we even set off.

7:03:55 > 7:03:57Oh, there's somebody. Excuse me.

7:03:57 > 7:03:59- Can I tell you something about my boots?- OK.

7:03:59 > 7:04:00They're really cheeky.

7:04:00 > 7:04:02- Are they?- They are.

7:04:02 > 7:04:04Well, they're always sticking their tongue out.

7:04:07 > 7:04:09Four people. It's a good start -

7:04:09 > 7:04:13but if I'm going to share my gag with some serious numbers,

7:04:13 > 7:04:17I need to think bigger - and the station manager has just the thing.

7:04:17 > 7:04:19This is where they make all the announcements from,

7:04:19 > 7:04:20all over the station.

7:04:20 > 7:04:22What, as in, like, if I speak into that microphone,

7:04:22 > 7:04:24everybody in the station can hear me?

7:04:24 > 7:04:26- Everyone will be able to hear you, yeah.- Oh-ho-ho!

7:04:26 > 7:04:27TANNOY CHIMES: Hi, my name is Barney.

7:04:27 > 7:04:30I'm from Blue Peter. I'm doing something funny.

7:04:30 > 7:04:32You know my boots?

7:04:32 > 7:04:34They're really cheeky.

7:04:34 > 7:04:36Always sticking their tongue out.

7:04:36 > 7:04:37Ping-pong!

7:04:38 > 7:04:42Now, we reckon that there are about 200 people at the station -

7:04:42 > 7:04:45oh, and it's probably worth me saying here that our totaliser

7:04:45 > 7:04:47is a totally unscientific guess.

7:04:47 > 7:04:50It's the number we think MAY have heard my joke -

7:04:50 > 7:04:53and it's time to get it really ticking.

7:04:53 > 7:04:55I'm going to London, baby.

7:04:55 > 7:04:56Ooh!

7:04:58 > 7:05:02Now, I could sit back and enjoy the two-hour journey south - or...

7:05:02 > 7:05:04ANNOUNCEMENT CHIME

7:05:04 > 7:05:06My boots are really cheeky.

7:05:06 > 7:05:08Do you know why?

7:05:08 > 7:05:10They're always sticking their tongue out.

7:05:12 > 7:05:15Thanks for that, ladies and gentlemen. Have a pleasant journey.

7:05:15 > 7:05:18The train crew reckoned 175 new victims -

7:05:18 > 7:05:22oh, sorry, audience members - heard that,

7:05:22 > 7:05:26and with my onboard entertainment, the journey flies by.

7:05:27 > 7:05:30OK, so, here we are - London Euston.

7:05:30 > 7:05:33The capital city, with 8.5 million people living here.

7:05:33 > 7:05:36If there's one place I'm going to get more people to hear my joke,

7:05:36 > 7:05:39it's right here - but I genuinely have no idea where to start.

7:05:39 > 7:05:42PHONE RINGS Ooh, sorry, one second.

7:05:43 > 7:05:46- Hello?- Hi, it's Graham Norton here.

7:05:46 > 7:05:47Oh, hey, Graham.

7:05:47 > 7:05:48It's Graham Norton.

7:05:48 > 7:05:51I hear you're in London for your Red Nose Day jokeathon challenge.

7:05:51 > 7:05:52I am, yes.

7:05:52 > 7:05:54If you want, I could fit you on my radio show -

7:05:54 > 7:05:56but you have to hurry up.

7:05:56 > 7:05:57I'm on air at 10:00.

7:05:57 > 7:05:59Really? 10:00?

7:05:59 > 7:06:01I'm about 20 minutes away.

7:06:01 > 7:06:03Well, that's a stroke of luck.

7:06:03 > 7:06:06If I get my joke on national radio, I've hit the jackpot.

7:06:08 > 7:06:10I want to try to tell this joke to as many people as possible -

7:06:10 > 7:06:12that's why going on the Graham Norton Show is ideal,

7:06:12 > 7:06:14because he has over four million listeners.

7:06:14 > 7:06:17So, yeah, what a great place to start the challenge here in London.

7:06:20 > 7:06:21My boots are really cheeky. Why?

7:06:21 > 7:06:23Always sticking their tongue out.

7:06:23 > 7:06:24One more click, please.

7:06:27 > 7:06:29OK. Here we go.

7:06:30 > 7:06:32I'm joined now by the 35th presenter

7:06:32 > 7:06:34of the world's longest running and most famous

7:06:34 > 7:06:36children's television show, Blue Peter.

7:06:36 > 7:06:39- His name is Barney Harwood. Hello, how are you?- Good morning, Graham.

7:06:39 > 7:06:42- I'm good, how are you?- You've only just got to London, haven't you?

7:06:42 > 7:06:44- Yes. I've been up since five o'clock this morning.- OK.

7:06:44 > 7:06:46So, the joke is this...

7:06:46 > 7:06:49My boots, they're really cheeky.

7:06:49 > 7:06:51Always sticking their tongue out.

7:06:51 > 7:06:53MOURNFUL TRUMPET PLAYS

7:06:53 > 7:06:54You can't please them all -

7:06:54 > 7:06:59but, with Graham's listeners added, I'm well into the millions.

7:06:59 > 7:07:00But I'm just warming up.

7:07:00 > 7:07:05It's time to share my rib-tickler with the good people of London Town.

7:07:07 > 7:07:10My boots are really cheeky.

7:07:10 > 7:07:12Always sticking their tongue out.

7:07:13 > 7:07:16Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Red Nose Day Comedy Pod.

7:07:16 > 7:07:18Take a look at my boots. They're so cheeky, you know.

7:07:18 > 7:07:20Always sticking their tongue out.

7:07:20 > 7:07:23LAUGHTER AND GROANS

7:07:23 > 7:07:26See, this is great, but it's also frustrating -

7:07:26 > 7:07:28I know I can reach more people.

7:07:28 > 7:07:31The city centre traffic is slowing me down -

7:07:31 > 7:07:33I need a part of London where there are no cars.

7:07:33 > 7:07:35No traffic.

7:07:35 > 7:07:39What I need...is a boat.

7:07:39 > 7:07:43OK, the one thing I really hadn't thought about

7:07:43 > 7:07:46was how these people are going to be hearing this joke

7:07:46 > 7:07:48when we're going this fast.

7:07:48 > 7:07:51But I'll try it anyway.

7:07:52 > 7:07:54My boots are really cheeky.

7:07:55 > 7:07:57Always sticking their tongue out.

7:07:59 > 7:08:00To throw up.

7:08:01 > 7:08:03Oh...

7:08:04 > 7:08:06Not one of my better ideas.

7:08:06 > 7:08:09Yeah, maybe a bit slower.

7:08:09 > 7:08:11Hello!

7:08:12 > 7:08:14My boots are really cheeky.

7:08:15 > 7:08:17Always sticking their tongue out.

7:08:17 > 7:08:20They laughed, they definitely laughed, right there.

7:08:22 > 7:08:26It's early afternoon and we think more than four million people

7:08:26 > 7:08:28have heard my joke -

7:08:28 > 7:08:30which is incredible,

7:08:30 > 7:08:32but I know I can do better.

7:08:32 > 7:08:34If I'm going to reach even more people,

7:08:34 > 7:08:36to tell this one joke on Red Nose Day,

7:08:36 > 7:08:38I'm going to have to think even bigger.

7:08:38 > 7:08:40And you know what? I have.

7:08:45 > 7:08:46AUDIENCE CHEERS

7:08:48 > 7:08:51Part two coming up later - stay tuned for that.

7:08:51 > 7:08:53Now, I'm not the only one who's been writing jokes -

7:08:53 > 7:08:55as you know, over the past four months,

7:08:55 > 7:08:56you've been getting involved

7:08:56 > 7:08:59by sending in your three original jokes into our comedy classroom.

7:08:59 > 7:09:01Well, now all those entries have now been judged

7:09:01 > 7:09:04by Miranda Hart and Richard Curtis, two geniuses of comedy,

7:09:04 > 7:09:06and they have ratified that they are 100% original.

7:09:06 > 7:09:09So, now, we can announce the winners.

7:09:09 > 7:09:10So, here we go.

7:09:10 > 7:09:11In the six to eight category...

7:09:13 > 7:09:14..it's Finn.

7:09:14 > 7:09:15AUDIENCE CHEERS

7:09:17 > 7:09:18Up top, dude.

7:09:18 > 7:09:20What a proper high ten.

7:09:20 > 7:09:22OK, in the nine to 12 category...

7:09:24 > 7:09:25..it's Connie!

7:09:25 > 7:09:26AUDIENCE CHEERS

7:09:27 > 7:09:29Low ten.

7:09:29 > 7:09:31- So, welcome to the show. How are you feeling?- Amazing!

7:09:31 > 7:09:34- You've got your orange competition winners' badges on, as well.- Yes.

7:09:34 > 7:09:37That's very exciting, not many people have those.

7:09:37 > 7:09:38Now, as you know, as part of the prize,

7:09:38 > 7:09:41you were going to get your jokes read out by a professional comedian.

7:09:41 > 7:09:43- Do you want to meet him and hear your jokes?- Yes.- Yes.

7:09:43 > 7:09:46From I'm A Celebrity, it's Joel Dommett.

7:09:46 > 7:09:47AUDIENCE CHEERS

7:09:47 > 7:09:50OK, we can be the audience for this. Thank you so much for being here.

7:09:50 > 7:09:52It's a pleasure. It's a lot of pressure.

7:09:52 > 7:09:55- You've got six jokes - that's all it is.- Here we go.

7:09:55 > 7:09:57We're going to start with Finn's first three. Whenever you're ready.

7:09:58 > 7:10:02What did the policeman say to the man stealing ice cream?

7:10:02 > 7:10:03Freeze!

7:10:03 > 7:10:04LAUGHTER

7:10:06 > 7:10:09What day is it when you walk into a lamppost?

7:10:09 > 7:10:11It's Red Nose Day.

7:10:11 > 7:10:12LAUGHTER

7:10:14 > 7:10:16What you call a nose in a car park?

7:10:16 > 7:10:18A nosy parker.

7:10:18 > 7:10:20Finn, everybody. APPLAUSE

7:10:20 > 7:10:23Very nice work. Nice work. Very good.

7:10:23 > 7:10:25OK, Connie, here are your three.

7:10:25 > 7:10:27Ahem.

7:10:27 > 7:10:29Why should you not fly an old plane?

7:10:29 > 7:10:31Because it might spit fire.

7:10:31 > 7:10:32LAUGHTER

7:10:34 > 7:10:36How do crocodiles gossip?

7:10:36 > 7:10:38On Snapchat.

7:10:38 > 7:10:39LAUGHTER

7:10:40 > 7:10:43What you call a quick nan?

7:10:43 > 7:10:44Instagran.

7:10:44 > 7:10:46That'll do! Round of applause for Connie, everybody.

7:10:46 > 7:10:49APPLAUSE That was really brilliant.

7:10:49 > 7:10:50So, there you have it -

7:10:50 > 7:10:52your jokes read out by an award-winning comedian.

7:10:52 > 7:10:54It's beautiful, isn't it? Only one thing for it now, Linds,

7:10:54 > 7:10:56- and that's the trophies, please. - Yes, indeed.

7:10:56 > 7:10:58Guys, I was having a very big LOL to those jokes.

7:10:58 > 7:10:59- Well done, Connie.- A blol.

7:10:59 > 7:11:01Well done, Finn. Yeah - big LOL, blol. Good!

7:11:01 > 7:11:04One final time, a huge round of applause for our winners, everybody.

7:11:04 > 7:11:05- Yay!- Connie and Finn.

7:11:05 > 7:11:07- Joel, thank you so much for being here.- Pleasure.

7:11:07 > 7:11:09- Brilliant, thank you, mate. - Great stuff.

7:11:09 > 7:11:11- PFFRRT! - Agh, fell for it again!

7:11:11 > 7:11:14Now, Red Nose Day, of course, is all about the LOLs,

7:11:14 > 7:11:17but it's also about helping people in the UK and Africa

7:11:17 > 7:11:18who are less fortunate than ourselves,

7:11:18 > 7:11:20and face some serious challenges,

7:11:20 > 7:11:22so, as 13-year-old Ellie went to Kenya

7:11:22 > 7:11:24to make this special film about it.

7:11:31 > 7:11:33My name is Ellie, and I've travelled all the way to Nairobi

7:11:33 > 7:11:36to show how some of the money that you've raised

7:11:36 > 7:11:37can help children who live here.

7:11:37 > 7:11:40This is my Blue Peter Red Nose Day report.

7:11:45 > 7:11:47This is Lynette.

7:11:47 > 7:11:49She is 12 years old and lives here

7:11:49 > 7:11:52in a slum community in Nairobi called Korogocho.

7:11:52 > 7:11:54Is this is where you live?

7:12:01 > 7:12:03She lives in this house made of mud

7:12:03 > 7:12:05with her gran Irene and her younger cousins.

7:12:07 > 7:12:10Lynette and her family really struggle for money.

7:12:10 > 7:12:12Every day they go to this dump site,

7:12:12 > 7:12:15where they collect bottle tops and other plastics to sell.

7:12:16 > 7:12:19What the best thing you've ever found on the dump?

7:12:27 > 7:12:29The dump site is very dangerous.

7:12:29 > 7:12:33There is lots of broken glass, big dumping trucks and harmful rubbish.

7:12:33 > 7:12:35Lynette's life is a lot different to mine,

7:12:35 > 7:12:38because I don't go to work, I go to school -

7:12:38 > 7:12:41but Lynette, she has to come out to work with her grandmother.

7:12:41 > 7:12:44Lynette and her cousins don't go to school.

7:12:44 > 7:12:48This is because they don't have enough money.

7:12:48 > 7:12:51Would you like to go to school instead of working on the dump site?

7:13:01 > 7:13:05Sometimes Lynette and her gran don't earn enough money to buy food,

7:13:05 > 7:13:07so they all go to bed hungry.

7:13:08 > 7:13:10Me and all my friends, we wake up in the morning

7:13:10 > 7:13:12and think, "Ugh, we've got to go to school,"

7:13:12 > 7:13:15like, we think of it as a bit of a chore, really,

7:13:15 > 7:13:20but there's kids out here that would do anything to go to school.

7:13:23 > 7:13:25The good news is,

7:13:25 > 7:13:29a project supported by Red Nose Day uses the money that you raise

7:13:29 > 7:13:32to help Lynette and other children like her have a much better future.

7:13:32 > 7:13:35The project will help Lynette get into school,

7:13:35 > 7:13:38but also help her gran set up her own business

7:13:38 > 7:13:43so they can earn enough money and not have to go to sleep hungry.

7:13:43 > 7:13:45I hope this has inspired you to get involved in Red Nose Day.

7:13:45 > 7:13:48- ALL:- Thank you, Blue Peter.

7:13:48 > 7:13:49APPLAUSE

7:13:51 > 7:13:52Aww.

7:13:52 > 7:13:53Ellie, a huge well done -

7:13:53 > 7:13:55and also, we need to start by saying happy birthday -

7:13:55 > 7:13:58- it's the big one-three today, isn't? - Yeah.- Great, you're 13.

7:13:58 > 7:14:00- Thank you for coming in to Blue Peter.- Thank you.

7:14:00 > 7:14:02I thought you did a wonderful job there.

7:14:02 > 7:14:03What was the experience like?

7:14:03 > 7:14:05It was one of the best things I've ever done,

7:14:05 > 7:14:08- but also one of the most difficult. - Mm.- It was basically -

7:14:08 > 7:14:10it showed you how much that you should appreciate things

7:14:10 > 7:14:12and just be grateful of what you have.

7:14:12 > 7:14:15Absolutely - and how important do you think it is

7:14:15 > 7:14:18that everyone, especially today, gets involved with Red Nose Day?

7:14:18 > 7:14:20I think the fundraising for Red Nose Day is really important,

7:14:20 > 7:14:23because such little money can make such a huge difference

7:14:23 > 7:14:25around the world. I do think we should donate.

7:14:25 > 7:14:27Well, you've definitely done your bit.

7:14:27 > 7:14:29- You've been brilliant, thank you for coming on.- Thank you.

7:14:29 > 7:14:31You've also made your very own joke template -

7:14:31 > 7:14:33we were having a giggle earlier, weren't we?

7:14:33 > 7:14:35And I know exactly where this can go - follow me.

7:14:35 > 7:14:39- We'll take it over to Barney and Hacker.- Hello!- We're ready.- Hello.

7:14:39 > 7:14:41By the way, Ellie, that was an amazing film.

7:14:41 > 7:14:42You did an incredible job in that film.

7:14:42 > 7:14:44Red Nose Day is all about LOLs, as well,

7:14:44 > 7:14:47and we've been collecting as many as possible for as long as it feels,

7:14:47 > 7:14:49and we've actually had that many

7:14:49 > 7:14:50that we have decorated the studio with them.

7:14:50 > 7:14:52- Look how many we've had in - it's awesome.- Nice, innit?

7:14:52 > 7:14:55- It's like wallpaper. - Yeah.- Unbelievable.

7:14:55 > 7:14:59- What do you think, do you like it? - I like it! I like it a lot!

7:14:59 > 7:15:01Good. Let's see what you think about these jokes.

7:15:01 > 7:15:02We've had a few duff 'uns in.

7:15:02 > 7:15:04- Read 'em out, Barney. - I like them!- I'm good at duff jokes.

7:15:04 > 7:15:08- So, why did the skeleton not go to the dance?- I don't know, why?

7:15:08 > 7:15:11- Because he has no skin.- Fact.

7:15:11 > 7:15:12It is just a fact, that, isn't it?

7:15:12 > 7:15:14Shouldn't it be he's got no body to go with,

7:15:14 > 7:15:16- or something like that? - Yeah, that's just a typo.- Yeah.

7:15:16 > 7:15:18- I think it's good.- How...

7:15:18 > 7:15:21- This is actually my favourite joke of all time.- OK.- Seriously.

7:15:21 > 7:15:24- How does a mouse fly? - I don't know, Barney!

7:15:24 > 7:15:25How does a mouse fly?

7:15:25 > 7:15:28- It does not.- Yeah, they don't fly.

7:15:28 > 7:15:30- Isn't that absolute genius? - Yeah, more science.

7:15:30 > 7:15:32- Now, Barney, I'm going to do a top five rundown.- OK.- Go for it.

7:15:32 > 7:15:35- Can't wait.- My favourite jokes you've sent in, and that.

7:15:35 > 7:15:37- Bring it on.- In at number five...

7:15:37 > 7:15:39That's the graphic. Lovely.

7:15:39 > 7:15:41- Why did the banana go to hospital? - Don't know.

7:15:41 > 7:15:43It wasn't PEELING well.

7:15:43 > 7:15:46- Yeah, very good. - In at number four...

7:15:46 > 7:15:50- Oh, right.- What do you call a deer with no eyes?

7:15:50 > 7:15:51- Don't know.- I don't know.

7:15:51 > 7:15:53The no-eye deer.

7:15:53 > 7:15:55In at number three...

7:15:55 > 7:15:58- Why was six afraid of seven? - Don't know.

7:15:58 > 7:16:01- Because seven ATE nine. - Did he now?- I like that one.

7:16:01 > 7:16:05- That's a good one. We like that. - In at number two...

7:16:07 > 7:16:09We don't need that. We don't need the graphic.

7:16:09 > 7:16:12- There's no need for number two. - It was there!- Was it there?

7:16:12 > 7:16:14- Why did the cow cross the road? - Don't know.

7:16:14 > 7:16:18- To go to the moo-vie. - Ah, because cows moo, you see?

7:16:18 > 7:16:21And your most favourite joke of all time, in at number one...

7:16:21 > 7:16:23is this one.

7:16:23 > 7:16:24- Knock, knock.- Who's there?

7:16:24 > 7:16:26- Doctor.- Doctor who?

7:16:26 > 7:16:30Yes, it's Doctor Who at my door. Have you got any ID?

7:16:30 > 7:16:32No. Don't need it.

7:16:32 > 7:16:35- Hacker! That's not the joke. - Thank you.- Hacker...

7:16:35 > 7:16:37- Your bit's fallen off. - Me bit's fell off.

7:16:37 > 7:16:40Right, let's go this way and find out our total.

7:16:40 > 7:16:42- Let's walk this way. - Always a pleasure, sir.

7:16:42 > 7:16:44MUSIC: Walk This Way

7:16:44 > 7:16:46- Hacker's being naughty. - Did you like it?

7:16:46 > 7:16:48So, you've been sending us your jokes for the totaliser,

7:16:48 > 7:16:51and each week, you've been smashing the totals.

7:16:51 > 7:16:53The first week, we smashed 1,000.

7:16:53 > 7:16:55Then we went and smashed 2,500.

7:16:55 > 7:16:57Then some further smashing down the road

7:16:57 > 7:16:59meant that we smashed 5,000.

7:16:59 > 7:17:01Now, we've added plenty more to this,

7:17:01 > 7:17:03- including the audience's jokes. - Yeah.- Hold up your jokes.

7:17:03 > 7:17:05They've all been added to the totaliser.

7:17:05 > 7:17:07Dhruv, you've got a joke, haven't you?

7:17:07 > 7:17:10What do you call a lizard that can sing?

7:17:10 > 7:17:12What do you call a lizard that can sing?

7:17:12 > 7:17:14A rap-tile.

7:17:14 > 7:17:17- A rap-tile. That's actually really good.- That's very Radzi.

7:17:17 > 7:17:20That's the last one and that's gone into the totaliser.

7:17:20 > 7:17:22We've got one here. What's your joke?

7:17:22 > 7:17:24Why did the picture go to jail?

7:17:24 > 7:17:27Picture go to jail? I don't know. Why did the picture go to jail?

7:17:27 > 7:17:30- Because it was framed.- Framed! Nice. - Yeah, boy!- Very good.

7:17:30 > 7:17:33Right, it's time to see how many jokes we've collected.

7:17:33 > 7:17:35- Drumroll, thank you very much. - DRUMROLL

7:17:35 > 7:17:36Ready?

7:17:36 > 7:17:38The total is...

7:17:38 > 7:17:418,454 jokes.

7:17:41 > 7:17:43CHEERING

7:17:43 > 7:17:45That a lot of jokes.

7:17:45 > 7:17:48Thank you so much for pledging your support for Red Nose Day.

7:17:48 > 7:17:50That's brilliant.

7:17:50 > 7:17:53Also, maybe you should get online and play Hacker's Nosey Adventure.

7:17:53 > 7:17:55- Here he is. Hacks, where have you been?- Hey, Hacks.

7:17:55 > 7:17:56I'm not cleaning that up.

7:17:56 > 7:18:00If you haven't played yet, this is what you've been missing out on.

7:18:11 > 7:18:12Oh, nose!

7:18:15 > 7:18:17Look out, noses.

7:18:17 > 7:18:20He's heading for Mount Snosedon. We've got to stop him.

7:18:28 > 7:18:30- Oh, no!- Oh, it's a cliffhanger! - Yes.- What happens?

7:18:30 > 7:18:32- We don't know. - That's what a cliffhanger is.

7:18:32 > 7:18:33You can head online,

7:18:33 > 7:18:36because you've been voting on who your favourite nose is,

7:18:36 > 7:18:37and the winner is...

7:18:37 > 7:18:39- That could have gone so much better.- Good catch.

7:18:39 > 7:18:41- The winner is... - We are live, everyone.

7:18:41 > 7:18:44..Sniffer the dog. Very smooth.

7:18:44 > 7:18:46- Oh, there's... There was a shot. - Don't be shy.

7:18:46 > 7:18:47That was a lovely shot.

7:18:47 > 7:18:50So, head online if you want to see how Sniffer saves Red Nose Day.

7:18:50 > 7:18:51- I will.- Sorry I missed it.

7:18:51 > 7:18:54Right, sticking with numbers, let's talk about the big number.

7:18:54 > 7:18:57How many people did I tell the same joke to in one day?

7:18:57 > 7:18:59It's part two of Barney's Jokeathon.

7:18:59 > 7:19:02- You're not coming back again, you know that?- Never.

7:19:02 > 7:19:04Up to now, I've managed to tell my joke

7:19:04 > 7:19:06to more than four million people.

7:19:08 > 7:19:12So far, so good, you might say, but I wanted to go bigger.

7:19:12 > 7:19:14So I've come here.

7:19:15 > 7:19:20I've travelled out of Central London to BBC Broadcast Centre.

7:19:20 > 7:19:24This is where they record the links in between the BBC's TV shows.

7:19:24 > 7:19:27Duncan is one of the voices of BBC One

7:19:27 > 7:19:29and has let me join him and tell my joke

7:19:29 > 7:19:33before tonight's Let's Sing And Dance For Comic Relief.

7:19:33 > 7:19:35All I have to do is record it.

7:19:36 > 7:19:38Now on BBC One...

7:19:38 > 7:19:40- Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Hi. - Who's this?

7:19:40 > 7:19:42It's Barney from Blue Peter.

7:19:42 > 7:19:45Barney, I can feel the perfect joke for Comic Relief coming on.

7:19:45 > 7:19:46Here it is. Have you seen my boots?

7:19:46 > 7:19:49- They're really cheeky. Do you know why?- Why's that?

7:19:49 > 7:19:51They're always sticking their tongue out.

7:19:51 > 7:19:53While you're here, if you could just read this script I prepared earlier.

7:19:53 > 7:19:56Now on BBC One, a chance to laugh at more celebrities.

7:19:56 > 7:19:59Let's Sing And Dance For Comic Relief.

7:19:59 > 7:20:02When that goes out, it should be heard by millions,

7:20:02 > 7:20:05but I want to keep the numbers coming.

7:20:05 > 7:20:07Luckily for me, just a few miles down the road,

7:20:07 > 7:20:11the biggest sporting event of the weekend is about to kick off.

7:20:16 > 7:20:19Twickenham Stadium is hosting England v Scotland

7:20:19 > 7:20:24in rugby's Six Nations in front of 82,000 people.

7:20:24 > 7:20:28And I've been allowed to walk out on the pitch and tell my joke.

7:20:28 > 7:20:30I just have to get there.

7:20:30 > 7:20:32We haven't made it on time, we've missed the kick-off.

7:20:32 > 7:20:36I can actually hear the roar of the crowd as the game gets played.

7:20:36 > 7:20:39Hopefully, in about 40 minutes' time, when it's half-time,

7:20:39 > 7:20:41we can go onto the pitch, tell the joke

7:20:41 > 7:20:42and get the same kind of roar

7:20:42 > 7:20:44that they're cheering on for their teams.

7:20:47 > 7:20:49I'm feeling a little bit nervous about this,

7:20:49 > 7:20:50because it's not every day

7:20:50 > 7:20:53you get to walk into a room of 82,000 people and tell them a joke.

7:20:53 > 7:20:57Not only that, but a joke that you've written about your shoes.

7:21:01 > 7:21:05- Well, you've got 80,000 captive audience here.- OK.- You're on.

7:21:07 > 7:21:10My boots, they're really cheeky, you know.

7:21:10 > 7:21:12Always sticking their tongue out.

7:21:14 > 7:21:15That'll do.

7:21:18 > 7:21:21OK, one of the most nerve-racking moments of my career.

7:21:21 > 7:21:24But it's given me an idea.

7:21:24 > 7:21:27Now, I was thinking, if we can get to Elstree Studios now

7:21:27 > 7:21:29to go and see Let's Sing And Dance For Comic Relief,

7:21:29 > 7:21:31we might be able to tell some jokes

7:21:31 > 7:21:32to the audience that are watching that,

7:21:32 > 7:21:34and I reckon we can make it.

7:21:34 > 7:21:35Let's go.

7:21:36 > 7:21:40In front of a live audience already wearing their red noses

7:21:40 > 7:21:44is the perfect place to end my jokeathon challenge.

7:21:44 > 7:21:46But it's going to be tight.

7:21:46 > 7:21:49The studios are an hour's drive away.

7:21:49 > 7:21:52If I'm delayed, I won't get the chance to tell my gag.

7:21:52 > 7:21:54OK, I think we've just made it in time.

7:21:54 > 7:21:57We've got one more chance to get this joke in front of an audience

7:21:57 > 7:21:59before we run out of time completely.

7:22:02 > 7:22:04This is one of those moments where you realise

7:22:04 > 7:22:07that you haven't really thought through what you're about to do.

7:22:07 > 7:22:09Make some noise for Barney!

7:22:09 > 7:22:11CHEERING

7:22:13 > 7:22:16Wow, that's a lovely welcome. Hello, everybody.

7:22:16 > 7:22:18How are we doing? Having a good night?

7:22:22 > 7:22:26My boots, they're really cheeky.

7:22:26 > 7:22:27Always sticking their tongue out.

7:22:27 > 7:22:30LAUGHTER

7:22:30 > 7:22:31That's not bad, is it?

7:22:31 > 7:22:33CHEERING

7:22:33 > 7:22:35Hear that?

7:22:35 > 7:22:37That is actual laughter.

7:22:37 > 7:22:39What a perfect moment to end my journey,

7:22:39 > 7:22:40and as I leave the studios,

7:22:40 > 7:22:43I tune in to BBC One for more good news.

7:22:45 > 7:22:49- 'Now on BBC One, it's time...' - 'Sorry.'- 'Who's this?'

7:22:49 > 7:22:50'It's Barney from Blue Peter.'

7:22:50 > 7:22:53'Barney, I can feel the perfect joke for Comic Relief coming on.'

7:22:53 > 7:22:56'You're going to love it. You see my boots, they're really cheeky.

7:22:56 > 7:22:57- 'Do you know why?'- 'Why?'

7:22:57 > 7:23:00'They're always sticking their tongue out. Good one!'

7:23:00 > 7:23:02You see? That's what it's all been about today.

7:23:02 > 7:23:05It's been about everybody else getting involved and supporting us.

7:23:08 > 7:23:10What a day.

7:23:10 > 7:23:12But it's not quite over.

7:23:12 > 7:23:15The thing about a joke is, once it's been told, it's gone.

7:23:15 > 7:23:19So I've thought of the perfect way to keep my gag alive.

7:23:19 > 7:23:21At the Museum of London.

7:23:22 > 7:23:24So, Laura, what can you do to help me?

7:23:24 > 7:23:26Well, we've got a beautiful little showcase,

7:23:26 > 7:23:28and we thought we'd pop your boots in here.

7:23:28 > 7:23:32- So you can see the boots the joke was created for.- Mm-hm. Precisely.

7:23:32 > 7:23:34- I'm up for this, definitely. What a great idea.- Great.

7:23:34 > 7:23:35OK, there you go.

7:23:35 > 7:23:37- Those are my boots. - Thanks very much.

7:23:37 > 7:23:40This is amazing. My boots are on display in a museum.

7:23:40 > 7:23:42Yeah, they're their very own artefact.

7:23:42 > 7:23:44- Ha!- There we go.

7:23:44 > 7:23:46I am going to miss them, Laura, because you know what?

7:23:46 > 7:23:49They are so cheeky.

7:23:49 > 7:23:51Always sticking their tongue out.

7:23:51 > 7:23:54- It's funny, innit?- Y... Well, yes.

7:23:54 > 7:23:57I hope my jokeathon has inspired you to get involved

7:23:57 > 7:23:59with this year's Red Nose Day.

7:23:59 > 7:24:02Now, I wonder what that final total is.

7:24:02 > 7:24:04CHEERING

7:24:04 > 7:24:06Well...

7:24:06 > 7:24:08before I tell you the final total, I want to say a huge thank you

7:24:08 > 7:24:11to the team that looked after me on the day, Barney's Jokeathon team.

7:24:11 > 7:24:13You were all awesome. Karen, I hope your thumb gets better soon.

7:24:13 > 7:24:15All right, let's get this drumroll, please.

7:24:15 > 7:24:18How many people heard that joke in one day?

7:24:18 > 7:24:19DRUMROLL

7:24:21 > 7:24:22It's...

7:24:22 > 7:24:268,124,149 people.

7:24:26 > 7:24:28CHEERING

7:24:28 > 7:24:30High fives. Low fives, low fives.

7:24:30 > 7:24:33Low fives. High fives. Don't leave me hanging. There we go.

7:24:33 > 7:24:34That's what it's all about -

7:24:34 > 7:24:37getting you inspired to tell your own jokes

7:24:37 > 7:24:39and make your laugh matter.

7:24:39 > 7:24:40We've got lots of high fives.

7:24:40 > 7:24:42So, yes, maybe do a school jokeathon,

7:24:42 > 7:24:44there's lots of things you can try.

7:24:44 > 7:24:45High fives! Hey!

7:24:45 > 7:24:46Lindsey, help me out.

7:24:46 > 7:24:49Whoa, that is a huge number. Well done, Barney Harwood.

7:24:49 > 7:24:51Now on to something a little bit different.

7:24:51 > 7:24:53We're joined by the cast of Grease. Hello.

7:24:53 > 7:24:56- Hi!- Welcome to Blue Peter. Well done on your badges.

7:24:56 > 7:24:58- Now, you guys, are you proud? - Yes, I love it.

7:24:58 > 7:25:00You're currently on tour. Tell us a little bit about that.

7:25:00 > 7:25:02Yeah, we're going to be on the road with Grease

7:25:02 > 7:25:05for the next 12 months across the entire country.

7:25:05 > 7:25:06And we've just opened in Manchester

7:25:06 > 7:25:09and it's been so much fun and we're having an absolute blast.

7:25:09 > 7:25:11You're going to do Summer Nights later for us.

7:25:11 > 7:25:13- We are.- I'm very excited. It's my favourite one.

7:25:13 > 7:25:15I'll let you get ready. Good luck. Thank you so much, guys.

7:25:15 > 7:25:17- Thank you.- Cheers.

7:25:17 > 7:25:19Cannot wait to see that performance. Make sure you're watching.

7:25:19 > 7:25:21That's in, like, three minutes.

7:25:21 > 7:25:23- Linds, come over here.- Wait for me! - It's the end of the show.- I know!

7:25:23 > 7:25:26Make sure you're watching Red Nose Day night, though.

7:25:26 > 7:25:28That's tomorrow, 7pm, BBC One. It's going to be good.

7:25:28 > 7:25:30As well as that, make sure you watch next week,

7:25:30 > 7:25:32because it's our purple badge takeover,

7:25:32 > 7:25:34where everything we do has been requested by you.

7:25:34 > 7:25:37We've got amazing ballroom dances,

7:25:37 > 7:25:39we've actually got a ninja with swords...

7:25:39 > 7:25:41- Yes!- ..and we've got an internet superstar.

7:25:41 > 7:25:43It's going to be a good one.

7:25:43 > 7:25:45Radzi's not going to be here in person next week,

7:25:45 > 7:25:47but he can be here in film form.

7:25:47 > 7:25:49There are three films that you can pick between, two wet, one dry.

7:25:49 > 7:25:51Which one do you want to see Radzi do?

7:25:51 > 7:25:52Go onto the website,

7:25:52 > 7:25:54make your selection, it will happen here next week.

7:25:54 > 7:25:57But now, has everyone got their red noses at the ready?

7:25:57 > 7:26:00- Red noses on, please.- Because this is Grease with Summer Nights!

7:26:00 > 7:26:02See you next week. CHEERING

7:26:04 > 7:26:06OK, you guys, you want to know what happened?

7:26:06 > 7:26:08- GUYS:- Yeah!

7:26:08 > 7:26:11No, he was real nice! It was all very romantic.

7:26:11 > 7:26:14# Summer loving, had me a blast

7:26:14 > 7:26:18# Summer loving, happened so fast

7:26:18 > 7:26:21# I met a girl crazy for me

7:26:21 > 7:26:25# Met a boy cute as can be

7:26:25 > 7:26:31# Summer days drifting away to, oh, oh, the summer nights

7:26:31 > 7:26:33# Well-a, well-a, well-a, well-a

7:26:33 > 7:26:36- # Tell me more, tell me more - Did you get very far?

7:26:36 > 7:26:40- # Tell me more, tell me more - Like, does he have a car?

7:26:40 > 7:26:43- # Uh-huh- Doo-doo- Uh-huh- Doo-doo - Uh-huh- Doo-doo...

7:26:43 > 7:26:47# She swam by me, she got a cramp

7:26:47 > 7:26:50# He ran by me, got my suit damp

7:26:50 > 7:26:54# Saved her life, she nearly drowned

7:26:54 > 7:26:58# He showed off, splashing around

7:26:58 > 7:27:01# Summer sun, something's begun

7:27:01 > 7:27:03# Oh, oh, the summer nights

7:27:03 > 7:27:05# Well-a, well-a, well-a, well-a

7:27:05 > 7:27:09- # Tell me more, tell me more - Was it love at first sight?

7:27:09 > 7:27:12- # Tell me more, tell me more - Did she put up a fight?

7:27:12 > 7:27:16# Dooby-doo, dooby-doo Dooby-dooby-dooby dum

7:27:16 > 7:27:19# Dooby-doo, dooby-doo Dooby-dooby-dooby dum

7:27:19 > 7:27:23# Took her bowling in the arcade

7:27:23 > 7:27:26# We went strolling, drank lemonade

7:27:26 > 7:27:30# We made out under the dock

7:27:30 > 7:27:33# We stayed out till ten o'clock

7:27:33 > 7:27:36# Summer fling don't mean a thing

7:27:36 > 7:27:39# But, oh, oh, the summer nights

7:27:39 > 7:27:41# Whoa, whoa, whoa

7:27:41 > 7:27:44- # Tell me more, tell me more - But you don't gotta brag

7:27:44 > 7:27:48- # Tell me more, tell me more - Cos he sounds like a drag

7:27:48 > 7:27:52# Shoo-bab-bab, shoo-bab-bab Shoo-bab-bab, shoo-bab-bab

7:27:52 > 7:27:56- # Shoo-bab-bab, shoo-bab-bab... - He got friendly, holding my hand

7:27:56 > 7:27:59# She got friendly down in the sand

7:27:59 > 7:28:03# He was sweet, just turned 18

7:28:03 > 7:28:06# She was good, you know what I mean

7:28:06 > 7:28:09# Summer heat, boy and girl meet

7:28:09 > 7:28:12# But, oh, oh, the summer nights

7:28:12 > 7:28:14# Whoa, whoa, whoa

7:28:14 > 7:28:17- # Tell me more, tell me more - How much dough did he spend?

7:28:17 > 7:28:21- # Tell me more, tell me more - Could she get me a friend? #

7:28:21 > 7:28:22No.

7:28:25 > 7:28:27# It turned colder

7:28:27 > 7:28:30# That's where it ends

7:28:30 > 7:28:32# So I told her

7:28:32 > 7:28:35# We'd still be friends

7:28:35 > 7:28:40# Then we made our true love vow

7:28:40 > 7:28:46# Wonder what she's doing now

7:28:48 > 7:28:52# Summer dreams

7:28:53 > 7:28:58# Ripped at the seams

7:29:00 > 7:29:02# But...

7:29:02 > 7:29:04# Oh!

7:29:04 > 7:29:11# Those summer...

7:29:13 > 7:29:18# Nights

7:29:18 > 7:29:22# Tell me more, tell me more

7:29:22 > 7:29:25# Ohh

7:29:25 > 7:29:31# Ohhhh. #

7:29:31 > 7:29:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE