An Earful of Willi

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0:00:08 > 0:00:10HE CHUCKLES

0:00:16 > 0:00:18RAM BLEATS

0:00:21 > 0:00:23HE CACKLES

0:00:26 > 0:00:27MECHANICAL ARM WHIRS

0:00:30 > 0:00:31Whoa!

0:00:41 > 0:00:43HE GIGGLES

0:00:43 > 0:00:44Oh, yeah!

0:00:44 > 0:00:47Best Bottersnike costume at the annual Gumble fancy dress party -

0:00:47 > 0:00:50check. Plate of grubs - check.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53One last mirror check - check.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57- TOY:- 'Here is a cow - moo, moo.'

0:00:57 > 0:01:01It is clearly some kind of predictorating device.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04It knows what things are and what they will say.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07I'm the predictorator around here.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09It should stay with me.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12It's technology - it belongs with me.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14THEY GRUNT

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Give it here!

0:01:16 > 0:01:17'The wolf goes...'

0:01:17 > 0:01:19HE SNORES

0:01:19 > 0:01:20TOY HITS KING

0:01:20 > 0:01:22'This is a pig - oink, oink.'

0:01:22 > 0:01:23HE GROANS

0:01:23 > 0:01:25'Oink, oink.'

0:01:25 > 0:01:26HE GROANS

0:01:28 > 0:01:30# Bottersnike, yeah Bottersnike, Bottersnike. #

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Woo! MERRI:- Willi!

0:01:33 > 0:01:35You are obviously...

0:01:35 > 0:01:36Late.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40It's cos I wanted my Bottersnike costume to be the best ever.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Hm... Time well spent!

0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Your Bottersnike costume is almost as good as Tink's.- Huh?

0:01:46 > 0:01:47What?

0:01:47 > 0:01:48- HE LAUGHS - Wow.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51- HE LAUGHS - Toot! Toot!

0:01:51 > 0:01:52Nice one, Willi.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55That's the second-best Snike question here.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56HE GROWLS

0:01:57 > 0:01:59FLOAT GIGGLES

0:01:59 > 0:02:01How is this Bottersnike costume

0:02:01 > 0:02:03better than my Bottersnike costume?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Uh...

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Um, well, Bottersnikes are tall,

0:02:07 > 0:02:09and Tink is taller.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12And Tink's is more Bottersnikey.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14How?! And what have you come as?

0:02:14 > 0:02:16She's a Grubling.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17I am.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19- She looks just like one.- I do.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23No-one knows what they look like, she made them up!

0:02:23 > 0:02:24HE MOANS

0:02:24 > 0:02:27My Bottersnike costume IS the best. You're all whomp-wits.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32That was a very Snikey reaction.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34- Not bad at all.- Yeah.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35SHE WHIMPERS

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Explain this.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39- TOY: 'This is a horse...' - TOY WHINNIES

0:02:39 > 0:02:41HE GROANS

0:02:41 > 0:02:43Would you believe...

0:02:43 > 0:02:45i-it's a rogue conscience?

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Depends.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51What's a conscience?

0:02:51 > 0:02:53You know - that inner voice

0:02:53 > 0:02:57that tells you if you're about to do something...

0:02:57 > 0:02:58bad?

0:02:58 > 0:02:59No!

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Well, exactly.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Bottersnike consciences almost never work.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08I demand you get rid of this conscience at once.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm sure I can extraculate it.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Hm...

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Whomping Tink, always better than me.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18I'll show them how to be the most Bottersnikey.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Hurry up, you po-pudding!

0:03:20 > 0:03:21HE GROANS

0:03:22 > 0:03:26'The rooster says - cock-a-doodle-doo!'

0:03:26 > 0:03:29The King says, "Why is this not working?!"

0:03:29 > 0:03:34Conscience extraculation is a-a delicate

0:03:34 > 0:03:37medicical procedure that cannot be rushed.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Oh. Well, go on, then.

0:03:39 > 0:03:40HE GROANS

0:03:40 > 0:03:43'The bird says - chirp, chirp, cheep.'

0:03:43 > 0:03:44Whomp!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Just need to extraculate harder,

0:03:47 > 0:03:49with this!

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Release this precision extraculator at once.

0:03:54 > 0:03:55WILLI SCREAMS

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Ow!

0:04:00 > 0:04:01THEY GASP

0:04:02 > 0:04:05What are you looking at?

0:04:05 > 0:04:06SHE WHIMPERS

0:04:08 > 0:04:09What the Bot?!

0:04:09 > 0:04:11WILLI WHIMPERS

0:04:11 > 0:04:15Why is a tiny Bottersnike coming out of my ear?

0:04:15 > 0:04:18I-I was just passing through?

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Wait, you think I look just like a Bottersnike?

0:04:21 > 0:04:24You couldn't look more like a Bottersnike

0:04:24 > 0:04:26without being a Bottersnike.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28I knew it.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30ARE you a Bottersnike?

0:04:30 > 0:04:31What else would I be?

0:04:31 > 0:04:32SHE GASPS

0:04:32 > 0:04:36I think we've awoken and almost extraculated his actual conscience.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Are you the King's conscience?

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Yes. Yes, I am.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48Why were you telling me what noises things make?

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Consciences do that sometimes?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53This is the sound your bum makes...

0:04:53 > 0:04:54PARP!

0:04:56 > 0:05:00Oh! Your conscience knows his bum sounds.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02My lumpy liege,

0:05:02 > 0:05:06perhaps removing your conscience is not such a good idea.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09You might need it.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12It occurs to me, Weathersnike,

0:05:12 > 0:05:15that you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18- I should sit on your head. - SHE GASPS

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Sitting on heads is such a stupid Bottersnike thing to do.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25You should listen to your conscience.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Really?

0:05:31 > 0:05:33WILLI STRAINS

0:05:33 > 0:05:35What? Who's there?

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Oh! Ow!

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Pointy-pokey-pooping-ow!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42See? Stupid thing to do.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44HE SCOFFS

0:05:46 > 0:05:47HAMMER STRIKES METAL

0:05:47 > 0:05:48GUBBO GRUNTS

0:05:50 > 0:05:52HE LAUGHS

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Hey, Conscience, watch this.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57MECHANICAL ARM WHIRS

0:05:57 > 0:06:02I'm going to lob that massive ball on Gubbo's roof.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03He'll be squashed.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05You can't do that.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Watch me.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10KING LAUGHS

0:06:11 > 0:06:12KING GROANS

0:06:16 > 0:06:17HE GRUMBLES

0:06:17 > 0:06:20You appear to know what you're talking about.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23I do. Want to know what you should do?

0:06:23 > 0:06:24Depress me.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26You should go to the Gumble tree right now

0:06:26 > 0:06:29and point out just how much your conscience looks like a Bottersnike.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32And, I don't know, maybe apologise for being mean.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34I'll be doing none of that.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37If you don't, your bum will fall off.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39What?! Nonsense.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41It will. That's exactly what will happen.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44If you don't do exactly what your conscience - me -

0:06:44 > 0:06:46tells you to do, your bottom will fall off.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47Everyone knows that.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49They do?

0:06:53 > 0:06:54CHANK CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Huh?- My melodorous monarch,

0:06:57 > 0:07:01where might you be going in such a discreet,

0:07:01 > 0:07:04some might say suspicious manner?

0:07:04 > 0:07:09Answer that after - why do you have a miniature Snike

0:07:09 > 0:07:12- coming out of one ear? - That's his conscience.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Silly.

0:07:14 > 0:07:15Conscience?

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Then I call for you to stand down as king.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22The Snikes can't have a king with a conscience bossing him around.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25- HE SCOFFS - I'm not being bossed around,

0:07:25 > 0:07:29I'm simply taking good care of my bottom.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Are you going to the Gumble tree to sit on them?- To spang them?

0:07:33 > 0:07:37No, I'm going to...

0:07:37 > 0:07:38- HE COUGHS:- Apologise.

0:07:38 > 0:07:39- ALL:- Apologise?!

0:07:41 > 0:07:45I have to listen to my conscience or my bottom will fall off.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Everyone knows that.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48THEY GASP

0:07:48 > 0:07:51We must all wake up our consciences!

0:07:53 > 0:07:54HE GRUMBLES

0:07:56 > 0:07:59- WEATHERSNIKE:- We must all wake up our consciences!

0:07:59 > 0:08:01THEY GRUNT AND MOAN Ow!

0:08:05 > 0:08:06LAUGHTER

0:08:07 > 0:08:09PARTY MUSIC PLAYS

0:08:12 > 0:08:13THEY LAUGH

0:08:18 > 0:08:19THEY GASP

0:08:19 > 0:08:21WILLI CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:08:21 > 0:08:23The Bottersnike King has something very important to say.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Yuck!

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Actually...don't worry about it.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32Hm, is that a loose bottom I hear?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- HE GROWLS - Fine.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39I'd just like to say, I'm sorry for being mean to the Gumbles.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41There, I said it.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44WILLI: He has another thing to tell you.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48- Huh?- He also wants to tell you that I, his conscience,

0:08:48 > 0:08:51could not...? Could not...?

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Not what?

0:08:52 > 0:08:54Could not look more like a Bottersnike.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Oh, that.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00Yes, he could not look more like a Bottersnike.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03WILLI: Do we all hear that?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06This Bottersnike thinks I could not look more like a Bottersnike.

0:09:06 > 0:09:07Without being a Bottersnike -

0:09:07 > 0:09:09- like that fella. - THEY GASP

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Hello, have we met?

0:09:13 > 0:09:15I expected I'd be the only Bottersnike here.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18You ARE the only Bottersnike here!

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Oops.- The only one that matters, obviously.

0:09:21 > 0:09:22HE LAUGHS

0:09:22 > 0:09:24This conscience is the worst.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Any second, it'll probably start

0:09:28 > 0:09:30telling me the sounds things make.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33This is the sound of a really angry Gumble.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35WILLI ROARS, THEY YELP

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I DO look the most like a Snike. How would he know anyway?

0:09:37 > 0:09:40He's so stupid, he thinks I'm his conscience.

0:09:40 > 0:09:41HE GASPS

0:09:41 > 0:09:43THEY GASP

0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Eh?- Grumble-guts.

0:09:45 > 0:09:46THEY STRAIN

0:09:49 > 0:09:53If you're not my conscience, what are you?

0:09:53 > 0:09:56Just a really tiny Snike?

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Then prepare to get tinier!

0:09:59 > 0:10:00Whoa!

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Ah-ha! Not shrinking?

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Not a Snike.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Would you believe I'm pre-shrunk?

0:10:10 > 0:10:13No. That'd be stupid. HE LAUGHS

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Right. Who shall we spang first?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Um...- No. No. Tell him -

0:10:19 > 0:10:22just for the party, the Gumbles have filled their moat

0:10:22 > 0:10:24with non-Snike-shrinking water.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Yeah. Yeah.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28That's exactly what they've done.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34See? Come on in, the water's fine.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37HE LAUGHS

0:10:37 > 0:10:39Last one in's a rotten Gumble!

0:10:39 > 0:10:40THEY GIGGLE

0:10:43 > 0:10:45HE MOANS IN A HIGH VOICE

0:10:45 > 0:10:46THEY LAUGH

0:10:50 > 0:10:54Non-Snike-shrinking water. Nice one, Willi.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57That idea was even better than one of Tink's.

0:10:57 > 0:10:58Really?

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Better than Tink? Woohoo!

0:11:01 > 0:11:02Hey-hey!

0:11:04 > 0:11:05KING SIGHS

0:11:05 > 0:11:07It turned out my conscience

0:11:07 > 0:11:09was actually...

0:11:09 > 0:11:11THEY PANT AND MOAN

0:11:15 > 0:11:17..very much worth getting out.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21You'll find superior extraculators over there.

0:11:26 > 0:11:27HE CHUCKLES

0:11:27 > 0:11:30- ALL:- Ow!

0:11:33 > 0:11:37This is so much more enjoyable without a conscience!

0:11:37 > 0:11:39HE LAUGHS