Plant Life

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04I drank straight out of the milk carton this morning.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06I'm still wearing my pyjamas under my clothes.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08What have you got there, Professor?

0:00:08 > 0:00:12It's my new science gizmo - the megaphone of truth.

0:00:12 > 0:00:15When you speak into it, it's impossible to tell a lie.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18- I'm not even a real professor. - Show me that!

0:00:18 > 0:00:19Ahem...

0:00:19 > 0:00:22When I was eight, I borrowed a science book from the library,

0:00:22 > 0:00:23and never returned it.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Aah! Get that things away from me!

0:00:25 > 0:00:29Ha, ha! I love it. Jonathan, you next.

0:00:29 > 0:00:32I'm not sure that's a good idea.

0:00:32 > 0:00:33Ahem!

0:00:33 > 0:00:35I sometimes feel unloved,

0:00:35 > 0:00:39and nobody appreciates ALL THE WORK I DO AROUND HERE!

0:00:39 > 0:00:43Aah! Oh, crumpets. What have I said?!

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- BELL RINGS GASPS:- Poor Colin!

0:00:46 > 0:00:49'This is Brain Freeze...

0:00:49 > 0:00:51'With Dr Knowles...

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'Professor McCork...

0:00:54 > 0:00:56'Colin the floor manager...

0:00:56 > 0:00:59'and Ms Hucklebuck.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01'Stand by!'

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Come on, everybody!

0:01:06 > 0:01:08BOTH: It's time for...

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Today, we're asking how many plants are in the world?

0:01:13 > 0:01:19The first land plants appeared on Earth around 465 million years ago,

0:01:19 > 0:01:21evolving from their ancestors in the ocean

0:01:21 > 0:01:24to spread across the entire surface of the Earth.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26And what are they good for?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Plants provide us with clothing,

0:01:28 > 0:01:30shelter, fuel, medicine,

0:01:30 > 0:01:33food, oxygen through photosynthesis,

0:01:33 > 0:01:35and they even help reduce carbon levels

0:01:35 > 0:01:38by storing carbon in the form of biomass,

0:01:38 > 0:01:40which, in turn, helps protect our environment.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Fair enough, that's pretty impressive -

0:01:43 > 0:01:45but can we have a break now?

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Please?

0:01:47 > 0:01:48And we're clear.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50I feel so bad for Colin.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I hope he accepts our apology.

0:01:52 > 0:01:57I'm sure he will. Nobody can resist triple chocolate fudge cake.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59Where did you get that, anyway, Professor?

0:01:59 > 0:02:01It came from a faraway land

0:02:01 > 0:02:05ruled over by the most ancient and honest king that ever lived...

0:02:05 > 0:02:08No, it didn't. I found it in a bin.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Now, that sounds more like it.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12My real name is Gwendolyn. THEY LAUGH

0:02:12 > 0:02:13BELL RINGS

0:02:13 > 0:02:16I don't know if this thing is working, Dr Knowles.

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Positions, you two!

0:02:22 > 0:02:24So, tell us, Dr Knowles,

0:02:24 > 0:02:26how many plants are there in the world?

0:02:26 > 0:02:28There are an estimated

0:02:28 > 0:02:33383,671 species of plants known to science.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35And how many individual plants?

0:02:35 > 0:02:36These include approximately

0:02:36 > 0:02:39370,000 types of flowering plants,

0:02:39 > 0:02:4115,000 ferns,

0:02:41 > 0:02:431,000 gymnosperms, such as conifers,

0:02:43 > 0:02:45and 23,000 mosses.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Yes, but how many actual plants?

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Er, well, scientists estimate

0:02:50 > 0:02:52that there are over 3 trillion

0:02:52 > 0:02:54actual trees on earth.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Yes, but how many actual plants in total?

0:02:57 > 0:02:58Answer the question.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01Oh, well, counting every tree is one thing,

0:03:01 > 0:03:03but to count every single bush,

0:03:03 > 0:03:05moss, green algae,

0:03:05 > 0:03:07fern, every single blade of grass...

0:03:07 > 0:03:09You mean, you don't have an answer?

0:03:09 > 0:03:10HE GASPS

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Er...

0:03:12 > 0:03:17Well, it could be billions upon billions - trillions, quadrillions.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20There are just some things science can't answer.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24- There you have it, folks. Basically, we haven't a clue.- Sorry.

0:03:24 > 0:03:25See you next time.

0:03:25 > 0:03:27And we're clear.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31ALL: Surprise!

0:03:31 > 0:03:33We're sorry for taking you for granted, Colin.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35We really are your friends.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38And we promise to be more appreciative from now on.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Aww, thanks, you lot.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44I suppose it's good to get things off your chest once in a while.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Some cake, Jonathan?

0:03:46 > 0:03:48I mean...Colin?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51You finally remembered my name!

0:03:51 > 0:03:55You know what? You lot are the best friends a floor manager could have.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58And that is the truth!

0:03:58 > 0:04:00HORNS TOOT

0:04:01 > 0:04:02I once knew a dog who could

0:04:02 > 0:04:04whistle the national anthem.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07I haven't cut my toenails in 11 years.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08When I was five, I did a wee

0:04:08 > 0:04:10in the corner of the cinema,

0:04:10 > 0:04:12and never told anyone.