David Walliams - There's a Snake in My School

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0:00:00 > 0:00:02A big snake called Penelope.

0:00:07 > 0:00:11Hello! My name is David.

0:00:11 > 0:00:12Do you like animals?

0:00:12 > 0:00:17I hope so because I'm going to read you a story about animals anyway.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20And one animal in particular.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24A big snake called Penelope.

0:00:24 > 0:00:28It's called There's A Snake In My School!

0:00:28 > 0:00:33The pictures are by Tony Ross and I wrote the book.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35So I should be really good at reading it.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Are you ready?

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Then I'll begin.

0:00:39 > 0:00:43Mr Bright had told all the children in his class it was

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Bring Your Pet To School Day.

0:00:45 > 0:00:50Everyone rushed into the playground to meet the animals.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53There was a stupidly cute gerbil,

0:00:53 > 0:00:55a tiny goldfish,

0:00:55 > 0:00:57a fat cat,

0:00:57 > 0:01:00a 100-year-old tortoise,

0:01:00 > 0:01:02and a tall dog.

0:01:02 > 0:01:08Last to arrive - as usual - was a little girl called Miranda.

0:01:08 > 0:01:15She was riding on the back of an enormous, slithery snake.

0:01:15 > 0:01:20"Meet Penelope, my pet python!" announced Miranda.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23On seeing the snake, the other children screamed.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26"ARRRRGHHH!"

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Miranda loved being different.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30She always stood out at school

0:01:30 > 0:01:34with her individual take on school uniform,

0:01:34 > 0:01:37her cartwheels down the corridors,

0:01:37 > 0:01:40and her funny answers in class.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43"What ended in 1945?"

0:01:43 > 0:01:46"1944?"

0:01:46 > 0:01:50A python is a rather unusual pet.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54But Miranda and Penelope had so much fun playing together.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58For the little girl, the snake would pretend to be a balloon,

0:01:58 > 0:02:01a scarf, a hula hoop,

0:02:02 > 0:02:05a telescope, a trombone,

0:02:05 > 0:02:06TROMBONE HOOTS

0:02:06 > 0:02:11and sometimes, when they were both feeling particularly mischievous,

0:02:11 > 0:02:12a third arm.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14OUCH!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16"Come and give her a tickle!"

0:02:16 > 0:02:18encouraged Miranda.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20But the other children were too scared.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24Penelope was a python, after all,

0:02:24 > 0:02:26and pythons eat people.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28All the pets were frightened too.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32The large dog yanked on his lead, sending his tiny owner flying.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33WOOF

0:02:33 > 0:02:37The goldfish tried to hide behind some water.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38PLOP

0:02:38 > 0:02:41The tortoise made a rather slow run for it.

0:02:41 > 0:02:45The cute gerbil flashed her gnashers.

0:02:45 > 0:02:46GROWL!

0:02:46 > 0:02:48And didn't look so cute any more.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50The fat cat just carried on napping.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52PURR

0:02:52 > 0:02:55Miranda slid down her snake.

0:02:55 > 0:03:01The little girl tickled her python under the chin and the snake smiled.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04"See, she's very friendly."

0:03:04 > 0:03:10Soon, everyone was gathered around to marvel at Penelope.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12The python loved the attention

0:03:12 > 0:03:17and made a climbing frame for the children to climb on,

0:03:17 > 0:03:19steps for them to step up,

0:03:19 > 0:03:23and a fireman's pole for them to slide back down.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Penelope even helped the children learn their numbers,

0:03:26 > 0:03:29although she could only go up to nine.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37This was turning into the best day of school ever.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43But then, Miss Bloat, the Headmistress,

0:03:43 > 0:03:45thundered into the playground.

0:03:45 > 0:03:50"There's a snake in my school!" she shouted.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Miss Bloat didn't like animals much...

0:03:53 > 0:03:55Or children.

0:03:55 > 0:03:58"It's um... I-i-it's Bring Your...

0:03:58 > 0:04:02"P-p-pet To School Day," spluttered Mr Bright.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05"And Penelope is my pet!" said Miranda.

0:04:05 > 0:04:10"Miranda! I should have known you would have to be different.

0:04:10 > 0:04:16"A snake is not a pet. It's a menace!" snapped Miss Bloat.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20"Mr Bright, all these filthy beasts are confiscated."

0:04:20 > 0:04:22GASP

0:04:22 > 0:04:24All the girls and boys shouted, "No!"

0:04:24 > 0:04:27As the Headmistress stuffed their pets

0:04:27 > 0:04:30into the lost property cupboard.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Except for Penelope the snake.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Miss Bloat had other ideas for her.

0:04:36 > 0:04:42"This disgusting thing is coming with me," bellowed the Headmistress.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45With that, she dragged the poor python

0:04:45 > 0:04:47along the corridor to her office.

0:04:48 > 0:04:53"Where are you going to put Penelope?" asked Miranda.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54"In the bin!"

0:04:54 > 0:04:55"No!"

0:04:57 > 0:05:02Miss Bloat crammed the snake into her bin and slammed the lid shut.

0:05:02 > 0:05:03SLAM!

0:05:03 > 0:05:09Then, she plonked herself down on top so the python couldn't escape.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11The bin rattled and rattled

0:05:11 > 0:05:14but Penelope was trapped.

0:05:14 > 0:05:19"A snake in my school indeed, get back to your lesson!"

0:05:20 > 0:05:26Downstairs in the classroom, tears rolled down Miranda's cheeks.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30All the children were sad to have had their pets taken away

0:05:30 > 0:05:32but no-one was sadder than Miranda.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33BOOHOO!

0:05:33 > 0:05:38The little girl feared she would never see Penelope again.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42At the end of the day, Miranda dashed upstairs to

0:05:42 > 0:05:46Miss Bloat's office to try to make her change her mind.

0:05:49 > 0:05:50There was no answer.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54So, slowly, Miranda pushed open the door.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55DOOR CREAKS

0:05:55 > 0:06:01Only to see Penelope sitting in the Headmistress's chair.

0:06:01 > 0:06:07Miranda ran towards her pet and gave her a humongous hug.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Miss Bloat was nowhere to be seen.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15So the girl grabbed the key on the desk,

0:06:15 > 0:06:20ran to the lost property cupboard as fast as she could, and unlocked it.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23The animals were overjoyed to be set free.

0:06:23 > 0:06:24MEOW! WOOF! CHIRP!

0:06:24 > 0:06:28Then, Miranda and all the pets slid down Penelope's back,

0:06:28 > 0:06:30into the playground.

0:06:30 > 0:06:31Whoosh!

0:06:31 > 0:06:34The children shouted, "Hooray!"

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Penelope entertained everybody again.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42She made a see-saw for them to see-saw on,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44a swing for them to swing on,

0:06:44 > 0:06:46a wheel for them to roll in,

0:06:46 > 0:06:49and a skipping rope to skip with.

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Penelope even helped some of the younger children with

0:06:53 > 0:06:55the alphabet, although it was hard to do an X.

0:06:57 > 0:07:02As for Miss Bloat, she had completely disappeared.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06So Mr Bright was made Headmaster.

0:07:06 > 0:07:11Now the children were allowed to bring in all their favourite animals

0:07:11 > 0:07:13whenever they wanted.

0:07:13 > 0:07:18The school became home to every sort of fantastic creature.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21An ostrich, a giraffe,

0:07:21 > 0:07:25a tiger, a gorilla, an elephant,

0:07:25 > 0:07:30a kangaroo, a crocodile, a grizzly bear,

0:07:30 > 0:07:34and even a colony of penguins.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38But the star attraction was always Penelope.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Though had Miranda noticed there was

0:07:42 > 0:07:44something different about her python.

0:07:44 > 0:07:49There was a bulge. A big bulge in the snake's tummy.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52A bulge in the shape of...

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Miss Bloat!

0:07:56 > 0:08:00And Miss Bloat still lives inside Penelope to this day.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04But don't worry. She's got used to it.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I think the school sounds much more fun

0:08:06 > 0:08:09now Mr Bright is Headmaster, don't you?

0:08:09 > 0:08:13I'll be back soon for another bedtime story but until then,

0:08:13 > 0:08:17I hope you have delightful dreams about all sorts of animals.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Night-night!

0:08:28 > 0:08:31# Time has come to say good night