Mind Your Manors

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05# ChuckleVision Chuck-Chuck-ChuckleVision

0:00:13 > 0:00:18# Chuck-Chuck-ChuckleVision ChuckleVision. #

0:00:19 > 0:00:22Friends, Rothonians, Countrymen,

0:00:22 > 0:00:25please help keep Chuckle Manor in the family.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27Great speech, Paul. Shame nobody's here.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31There will be. I put up signs all over the town.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39How's the appeal going?

0:00:39 > 0:00:42- We've made 70p.- Great!

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Only another £599,999.30 to go!

0:00:45 > 0:00:46Oi! You!

0:00:46 > 0:00:48What's going on here?

0:00:48 > 0:00:51We're holding a sale for Chuckle Manor,

0:00:51 > 0:00:56- now that poor Aunt Petunia's gone. - We're selling the family heirlooms.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57What? That tat?

0:01:04 > 0:01:08Well, since it's for a good cause, I'll take the lot. Say, £6?

0:01:08 > 0:01:11He wants to haggle! I'm good at this!

0:01:11 > 0:01:13- Shall we say £7?- Five!

0:01:13 > 0:01:14- Six!- Three!

0:01:14 > 0:01:16- Four!- One!

0:01:16 > 0:01:18- Paul! - HE SHUSHES HIM

0:01:18 > 0:01:20- I'll take no less than £2!- Done!

0:01:20 > 0:01:23You can keep that 'orrible thing.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26We must save the manor from our arch-rivals, the Chortles!

0:01:26 > 0:01:31- That was Auntie's dying wish! - They won't have enough money.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Well, they didn't have... but they have now!

0:01:34 > 0:01:38- Eh?- Eh? - This stuff's worth a fortune!

0:01:38 > 0:01:42I'm Simon Chortle, of the Chortle family!

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Now, get off my land!

0:01:44 > 0:01:45It's not your land yet!

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- It will be soon enough!- Never!

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Oooo!

0:01:53 > 0:01:56We're not giving up without a fight!

0:01:56 > 0:02:00I still can't understand why Aunt Petunia didn't leave it to us!

0:02:00 > 0:02:03Thought she'd be grateful after all my hard work!

0:02:07 > 0:02:09How am I gonna get in?

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Aha! A window!

0:02:14 > 0:02:17Cactus... Drainpipe! Yeah!

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Yeah... Seems sturdy enough.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24Oh, but I don't like heights.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Decisions, decisions.

0:02:26 > 0:02:31HE PUFFS AND STRAINS

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- Oh, dear! - DRAINPIPE CREAKS

0:02:49 > 0:02:51VASE SHATTERS

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Magnificent! This is what we're trying to save, Barry!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Save? What do you mean, save? >

0:03:00 > 0:03:01Well, we...

0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Argh!- Argh! - You?! The black sheep of the family!

0:03:05 > 0:03:06Aunt Petunia!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Get out of my manor!

0:03:08 > 0:03:12We're trying to save it! The Chortle family want to try and buy it back.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15Ah, the Chalice of Chuckle! Do you have the pair?

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- No, but Barry's got an apple! - Together they are priceless,

0:03:18 > 0:03:21and would save Chuckle Manor.

0:03:21 > 0:03:25You must visit the past and retrieve the other chalice!

0:03:25 > 0:03:27Oh, yes, I have a time machine(!)

0:03:27 > 0:03:29You must know the secret Chuckle oath?

0:03:29 > 0:03:34Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38The chalice was first sighted in the Stone Age! Well, go on!

0:03:38 > 0:03:43BOTH: Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick,

0:03:43 > 0:03:45cheerily chucking clucks...

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- It worked! - Now, where's that chalice?

0:03:51 > 0:03:55And as our monument nears completion, we drink to our gods...

0:03:55 > 0:03:58who have yielded to our strength and fortitude.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00There it is!

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Quick!

0:04:03 > 0:04:06We give thanks to Climatus,

0:04:06 > 0:04:09god of fine weather, for his temperate mercy!

0:04:14 > 0:04:15Stop!

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Stop! Stop! You can't celebrate this! It's rubbish!

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Draughty! No roof! Grass for a carpet!

0:04:22 > 0:04:23- You insult us!- Eh?

0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Seize him!- Oh, now, now, now! To you, Barry!

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Argh!

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Ooh!

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Ah-ha! Yes!

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Oh, dear!

0:04:58 > 0:04:59We'll be off now, then.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Whoa!

0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Oh, no!- We've got a choice, dark cave or boggy marsh.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13- Caves! We can hide in them! - What if we get cornered?

0:05:13 > 0:05:15This way we can stay out in the open.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19- What, so they can see us? - Have I ever let you down?

0:05:21 > 0:05:24There's the cave entrance! We'll be safe in there.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30THEY YELL

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Ooh! I thought you said we'd be safe in here?!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Argh!- Oh, now he's fallen as well!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- What do we do at the bottom? - Go splat?

0:05:47 > 0:05:50- Ow!- Ooh!

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Say the oath, quick!

0:05:52 > 0:05:57Charlie Chuckle chanced a chick cheerily chucking clucks!

0:05:57 > 0:06:01- We're still here! - You must have missed something out!

0:06:02 > 0:06:04I'll get you for your cheek!

0:06:06 > 0:06:08That's the word! Cheeky chick!

0:06:08 > 0:06:13Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks!

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Right! Where are those Chucks?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20I'll bet they're upstairs!

0:06:22 > 0:06:24CRASHING

0:06:27 > 0:06:28- Oo!- Ow!

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- You fools!- No worries!

0:06:32 > 0:06:34There! Good as new!

0:06:34 > 0:06:38- Where is the other chalice? - Barry left it behind.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40- Well, go back!- Best not.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Why don't we try somewhere else?

0:06:43 > 0:06:47The chalice was next recorded at the court of Elizabeth I.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Right, off we go.

0:06:48 > 0:06:52Hang on, I've written it down this time, just in case.

0:06:54 > 0:06:59Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02Stat me vitals, it's them!

0:07:05 > 0:07:07D'oh!

0:07:27 > 0:07:28Like a drink?

0:07:28 > 0:07:33The Queen's executioner always drinks alone.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35No executions today, then, eh?

0:07:35 > 0:07:38No, but I can arrange one if necessary.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42We have to do something to get him away from that chalice.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Yes, but what? - I know, we'll arrange an execution.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Come here, nothing to lose your head about.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54I have to upset the Queen and get executed.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57I'll dig a hole, you fill it with water,

0:07:57 > 0:07:59put a cloak over it, and, splash!

0:07:59 > 0:08:02That's not very nice. I'll blow a raspberry at her, that should do it.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06That's not serious enough to get your head chopped off.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09- That's what I liked about it. - As soon as I've got the chalice,

0:08:09 > 0:08:12I'll disguise myself as the executioner and save you.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14- Are you sure about that? - Of course I am.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Go on.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Ah, ah, ah. Allow me.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Don't want Her Majesty getting wet.

0:08:49 > 0:08:53Hope that axe is nice and sharp. Don't want to be here all day.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56Enough of your disrespect.

0:08:56 > 0:08:59All right, Mr Executioner. Or should I say "Paul"?

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Well, erm, not exactly.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Eh? What happened?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06- I didn't get the chalice.- Oh, dear.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Say the oath!- Wait!

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- What now?- I need to make a statement. It's in Barry's pocket.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14More foolishness.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16I'll put it in the basket.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19You can read it later. HE LAUGHS

0:09:19 > 0:09:23Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks.

0:09:29 > 0:09:35Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Well?- We didn't get it.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45Heaven's above. You've got one last chance.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49This will ensnare those miscreants.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51DOOR CLOSES It's them!

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Ooh, they're here.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Argh! - Ooh! Oh.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14Help, get me down!

0:10:14 > 0:10:17The last sightings were in the 1800s at the salon of Beethoven,

0:10:17 > 0:10:19and also at a country fair.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22Great, all those games and candyfloss.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24No, I want to go to Beethoven's salon.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27- I could do with a haircut. - Beethoven was a famous musician.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29- I want to go to the fair. - No, Beethoven.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Well, make up your minds.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34It's your last chance to save Chuckle Manor from the Chortles.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Dah! My piano is out of tune!

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Ha, Mr Beethoven! Or can we call you Earwig?

0:10:45 > 0:10:49You're in luck. Me and Barry, we're piano tuners.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51- I can't see it.- Neither can I.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Have a look round, I'll make enquiries.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57You don't happen to have an ancient chalice, by any chance?

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Ja, to keep my quills in.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01But I have no need of it now.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04I have only four notes of my new symphony

0:11:04 > 0:11:06and my benefactors are due any moment.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Perhaps I could help. Let's hear what you've got.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11PLAYS NOTES

0:11:11 > 0:11:14- The piano's out of tune, you say? - Ja, it's too sharp.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Leave it to me.

0:11:17 > 0:11:18Here, try this.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20PLAYS "CHUCKLEVISION" THEME

0:11:20 > 0:11:23- That is not my symphony. - No, but it's a lot jollier.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Hm, perhaps.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I can't see a thing.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31That's better.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35- PLAYS "CHUCKLEVISION" THEME - Oh!

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Get out of there! Can't you see I'm composing?

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Hey, you'd better get this written down.

0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Get your chalice. - No time, I shall play it by ear.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Gentlemen, my new Fifth Symphony.

0:11:48 > 0:11:52HE PLAYS "CHUCKLEVISION" THEME

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Oh! My piano!

0:12:02 > 0:12:05- Oh, well, you can't win 'em all. - Once would be nice.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17That's our work done here, Barry.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Charlie Chuckle chanced a cheeky chick cheerily chucking clucks.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27- We've got it!- Splendid.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Yes, all our troubles are over.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31HE STRAINS

0:12:32 > 0:12:35At auction, the pair will raise a fortune.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38You'll be able to keep the Manor.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41Aha! Got you at last, you cheeky swines.

0:12:41 > 0:12:44- Come on, out.- Not so fast, Chortle.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Remember this? Didn't like it, did you?

0:12:46 > 0:12:50The pair of them will raise enough money to buy this place,

0:12:50 > 0:12:51whatever the cost.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53HE SOBS

0:12:54 > 0:12:56What are the chances of that happening?

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Well done, boys, perhaps I've misjudged you.- I'll drink to that.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02CLINKING, SMASHING

0:13:02 > 0:13:04HE CHUCKLES MENACINGLY

0:13:07 > 0:13:08And stay out!

0:13:13 > 0:13:16I don't think we should have given in so easily.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19What else could we do? He's got all the power, all the money.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23THUDDING

0:13:23 > 0:13:25They're back.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33- CLANG - Agh!

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Rahhh!

0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Perhaps he'll get fed up and give it us back.- Oh, yes,

0:13:37 > 0:13:39I'm sure he'll come running out,

0:13:39 > 0:13:42throw us the keys and goes, "There you go, lads, it's all yours,

0:13:42 > 0:13:44"I don't want it after all."

0:13:44 > 0:13:47There you go, lads, it's all yours. I don't want it after all.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52- There you go, back where we belong. - There's got be a catch.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Get us a drink and something to eat, will you?

0:13:58 > 0:14:00I'm not your butler. Try ringing for service.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03BELL RINGS

0:14:03 > 0:14:05- You rang?- It worked!

0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Oh-oh.- What?

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Agh!

0:14:10 > 0:14:12# Chuck-Chuck-ChuckleVision Chuck-ChuckleVision

0:14:12 > 0:14:14# Chuck-Chuck-ChuckleVision

0:14:14 > 0:14:17You don't happen to have an ancient chas..chal...chals...

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- It's gone, do you see?- Chalice.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22All those games and candyfloss.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25No, we're going to Beethoven's cas...ca..bleurgh.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26Castle?

0:14:26 > 0:14:28# Chuck-Chuck-ChuckleVision. #