0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06a school like any other.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like
0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23SIREN
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29SCHOOL BELL
0:00:29 > 0:00:33This school is boring, I don't know why you want to film here.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36It's the first day of a new term, and the teachers
0:00:36 > 0:00:39and pupils of Dockbridge High School can't wait to get started.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I don't want to go back!
0:00:44 > 0:00:45HE SOBS
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Morning, sir.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Morning, Emily, it's great to be back, isn't it?
0:00:49 > 0:00:53HE WAILS
0:00:53 > 0:00:55HE SCREAMS
0:00:59 > 0:01:02Going to a new school can be overwhelming.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Out of the way, don't malinger.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08But deputy head Mr Potter is coping with it remarkably well.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Walk, don't run! Door!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Litter, pick that up. Phone, please.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Earrings off!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- You're not Mr Barker. - Very observant.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Mr Barker will be here at 9am sharp, after his morning walk.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37- I am Mrs Macintyre.- Mr Potter... - BOTH:- Deputy head.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40That's right. I'm the new deputy head.
0:01:40 > 0:01:45- There must be some mistake, I am the new deputy head.- Impossible.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Deputy head teachers Mrs Macintyre and Mr Potter
0:01:47 > 0:01:50have just discovered that there are two of them.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54- Which is a lovely surprise.- Perhaps you are the deputy deputy head.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Perhaps you are the deputy deputy head.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59I can see we are going to have to find Mr Barker at once
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- to resolve this matter.- Yes, I was just going to say that.- After you.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- After you.- After you!- After you!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09SCHOOL BELL
0:02:14 > 0:02:19Year 8 pupil Mark has had a sudden growth spurt over the summer.
0:02:19 > 0:02:24Last year, he accidentally called his form tutor "Mum" in class,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27an embarrassment he's yet to live down.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Oh, she's not my mum, all right?
0:02:30 > 0:02:31I am his mum.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35SCHOOL BELL
0:02:35 > 0:02:40- Your mum's your teacher.- Oh, she's not my mum!- She is.- She's not!
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Markey, you left your lunchbox at home this morning.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46HE LAUGHS
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Your mum's a teacher. - You're a teacher.- No, I'm not.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- What are you teaching me for? Stop teaching me.- Your mum's a teacher.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- Yes, she is. - Your teacher's your mum.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03The first lesson of the new term is science,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06and class 8B are excited to meet their teacher.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- NASALLY:- OK, settle down, settle down.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13OK, so my name is
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Mr...
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Nasal.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Is there something funny...
0:03:22 > 0:03:24about it?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28No? OK, then. On with...
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Huh! Huh!
0:03:35 > 0:03:39..the register. OK. Jasmine?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Yes, sir.- Oh, thank you, Jasmine.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Ta...
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Ta... Ta...!
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- Tahj?- Yes, sir, that's me, sir.- Welcome, Tahj.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Billy!!!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Eee...!!!- Yes, sir.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Thank you, B... Ah!!!
0:04:02 > 0:04:04THEY GASP
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- That's disgusting.- New girl. Are you chewing gum?
0:04:08 > 0:04:12That's disgusting. Get out!
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Martin?
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Like many schools, Dockbridge High relies on the passion
0:04:21 > 0:04:25and professionalism of its teaching staff.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Nnnn!!!- And there's no-one more professional than Mr Capp.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Look, Emily, no hands. Whe... Whoa!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33CRASH
0:04:33 > 0:04:35We've got Mr Capp again for English this year.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38To be an effective teacher, you've really got to speak
0:04:38 > 0:04:41to the kids in their own language. You get me?
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Most of the time I, like, literally have no idea what he's saying.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48S'up? S'up? Yeah!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Yeah! Bilbo, wagwan?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Great to see you, guys. I don't know about you,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59but I totes didn't want to come back to school today. You get me?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I spent like the whole summer down at the skate park,
0:05:01 > 0:05:04pulling backsides and fakies.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Props to the skater posse.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11It was really rather sick.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Sir, you spent the whole summer at the skate park?- Yeah, me did.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17And for those who didn't, fail!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Here's my new trick.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Aw!
0:05:22 > 0:05:23THEY LAUGH
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Obviously that wasn't it. Banter.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Oh. Come on, let's get some atmos going.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- Woo! - HE LAUGHS
0:05:33 > 0:05:34Come on!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36HE LAUGHS
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Here I go!
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Ah!!!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41THEY GASP
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Woo!
0:05:42 > 0:05:45- STRAINED:- Banter.
0:05:45 > 0:05:50It's break time, and among the new faces are some familiar old faces.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Although none are as old as Mr Weed.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Does anyone know what Mr Weed teaches?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Very well, thank you.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08SCHOOL BELL
0:06:11 > 0:06:13The middle of the day is devoted to the arts,
0:06:13 > 0:06:17starting with the artiest art - art - with Miss Flip.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Ah-ah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Are strawberries bigger than pineapples, Martin?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- You might want to have another look at that.- Miss?- Yes, Emily?
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- I've finished, Miss. - Finished?- Yes, Miss.- Oh.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Oh, my, yes! A very accomplished
0:06:37 > 0:06:39piece of work, Emily.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42It really, um, draws you in, doesn't it?
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- Thanks, Miss.- But is it finished?
0:06:46 > 0:06:51- Yes, Miss.- Is it?- Yes, Miss. - Of course it is.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- How silly of me. - SHE LAUGHS
0:06:53 > 0:06:58Do you think it could do with maybe just, um, one more thing?
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- I think it's done.- Yes, in the corner there. Do you see?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Do you see what I mean? May I? It is nothing much, it is nothing much.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07It is just a little adjustment.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I think it is needs a little bit more, don't you?
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Stand back, everyone.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Artist at work!
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Oh, yes.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Whoa! Splash, splash, splash, Emily!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28That's it!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30SHE LAUGHS MANICALLY
0:07:32 > 0:07:34There.
0:07:35 > 0:07:41- Great.- Great work, everyone, especially you, Emily.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Very creative.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Class dismissed.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56And so to drama, taught by retired Shakespearean actor
0:07:56 > 0:08:00and EastEnders market stall regular, Sir Stanley Bleacher.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05Drama class. Or as I like to call it, "an audience with Sir Stanley".
0:08:05 > 0:08:09If he doesn't turn up soon, I'm off.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Where have you taken her?!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Belinda, Belinda,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17my lo...ve!
0:08:17 > 0:08:23Oh, Belinda, my darling, with your face like a warm bee, and your voice
0:08:23 > 0:08:28like an angry badger, when will I see your sweet ears once more?
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Ah!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33That's acting.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Acting can tell 1,000 tales and weave 1,000 whips.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- Do you understand?- No. That just really freaks me out.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43HE SOBS
0:08:45 > 0:08:48HE SOBS LOUDER
0:08:50 > 0:08:52That's acting.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53THEY GROAN
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Sir, are we doing any work this lesson?- I'm confused.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59- Are you acting?- No.- Well, why not?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02I'm going to give you all roles,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05and you have to stay in character for the entire lesson.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Now, come on, on your feet.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Find a space.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Now, you will be a haunted mermaid,
0:09:13 > 0:09:18you a bookcase, and you...
0:09:18 > 0:09:19a tomato.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23- But, sir, how am I meant...- Sshh! Tomatoes don't talk.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Now, that's acting.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35In another part of the school, deputy head Mrs Macintyre
0:09:35 > 0:09:37and deputy head Mr Potter
0:09:37 > 0:09:42have accepted their shared job title of deputy head with dignity.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46SCHOOL BELL
0:09:52 > 0:09:55You are on my side of the doorway, Mr Potter.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Not at all, you are on my side.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02They say two heads are better than one.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04But two deputy heads...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Lunchtime, and while the pupils have their lunch,
0:10:10 > 0:10:14the staff use the time to get ahead with marking and lesson planning.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15DANCE MUSIC
0:10:15 > 0:10:17SCHOOL BELL
0:10:17 > 0:10:19HE MOANS
0:10:19 > 0:10:24And with lunchtime over, it's back to the serious matter of education.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33It's time for maths, a favourite subject for Year 8 pupil, Tahj.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I love maths.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I hate maths.
0:10:38 > 0:10:44So, if a man owns four pairs of trousers...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48..he accidentally rips two pairs...
0:10:50 > 0:10:53..he leaves one at his mum's,
0:10:53 > 0:10:55and he can't for the life of him remember
0:10:55 > 0:10:57where he put the fourth pair.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03How many pairs of trousers does the man have?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- Yes, Tahj.- Zero, sir.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- He would have no pairs of trousers. - Correct, Tahj.
0:11:08 > 0:11:13And for an extra mark, where might he find a spare pair of trousers?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Er, lost property.- Thank you, Tahj.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19THEY LAUGH
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Quiet reading!
0:11:26 > 0:11:27I love maths!
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Over in food technology, Miss Davis is cooking up a few treats.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I really like learning how to bake things.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41But I'm not too keen on the smell.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45Right, class, our Victoria sponges should be almost ready.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46SHE BREAKS WIND
0:11:46 > 0:11:48GIGGLING
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Can you smell the eggy goodness? Delightful.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53SHE BREAKS WIND
0:11:53 > 0:11:57And the best way to enjoy cake is with a nice cup of tea.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01And the secret to a good cuppa is to let it brew.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I've had this one brewing for the last ten minutes.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05SHE BREAKS WIND
0:12:05 > 0:12:07THE CLASS GROAN
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Beautiful.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Right, time to let one out.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14SHE BREAKS WIND
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Oh, no. - Is something wrong, Emily?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19No, Miss, it's nothing.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21SHE BREAKS WIND
0:12:24 > 0:12:26What's the matter, dear?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- Oh, Miss, look at it, it's not cooked underneath.- Oh, Emily, dear.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33There's nothing worse than a soggy bottom.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38SHE BREAKS WIND
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Great(!)
0:12:39 > 0:12:42'Would Emily please come to the head teacher's office?'
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Great(!)
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Head teacher's PA, Mrs Dogsbody, has called Emily to the office to
0:12:47 > 0:12:51discuss the state of her uniform with Mr Barker.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Mr Barker is known for being firm but fair.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58He is also known for being a dog.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Hello, Mr Barker.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02HE YELPS
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Sorry about my uniform.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05HE YELPS
0:13:07 > 0:13:09I won't let it happen again?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11HE BARKS
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- Can I go now?- Mr Barker?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16HE BARKS
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Yes, you can go now.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24HE BARKS
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Mr Barker says, "Please don't roll your eyes."
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I suppose, as head teachers go, it could be worse.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35The first day of the new term is over,
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- and everyone reluctantly heads home. - Home time!!!
0:13:39 > 0:13:42The teachers set an example by leaving in an orderly fashion.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44CRASH
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Banter.- Nice trousers, sir. - Goodbye, everyone. Oh!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Lovely.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56Hi, Mum, I'm on my way home now. Yeah, it was OK.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Nothing interesting ever happens around here.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02HE TRUMPETS LOUDLY
0:14:02 > 0:14:03HE TRUMPETS LOUDLY
0:14:03 > 0:14:05HE SNEEZES LOUDLY
0:14:07 > 0:14:09MUSIC: Back In Black by AC/DC
0:14:17 > 0:14:20# Back in black, I hit the sack
0:14:20 > 0:14:22# I've been too long, I'm glad to be back
0:14:22 > 0:14:25# Yes, I'm let loose from the noose
0:14:25 > 0:14:27# That's kept me hanging about
0:14:27 > 0:14:30# I've been looking at the sky cos it's getting me high
0:14:30 > 0:14:32# Forget the hearse cos I never die
0:14:32 > 0:14:34# I got nine lives... #
0:14:34 > 0:14:36SCHOOL BELL