0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06a school like any other.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like
0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:28 > 0:00:29SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:00:29 > 0:00:32It's exam time at Dockbridge High.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36I love exam time, it's my favourite time of the year.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38It's important to take exams seriously
0:00:38 > 0:00:41and no-one takes them more seriously than Dave.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Uh-uh-uh-uh, no entry, sorry. - But I've got an exam.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47- You're too late.- No, I'm not,
0:00:47 > 0:00:50- it doesn't start for another five minutes.- Too late.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51But it hasn't started yet.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54You are supposed to be at your desk five minutes before.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01- I saw some sick outside the science lab.- What?
0:01:01 > 0:01:02RADIO CRACKLES
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Kev, we've got a Code Three at the science lab.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Approach with caution and bring a bucket.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14In Mr Christopher's class, the pupils are about to take
0:01:14 > 0:01:18a music theory exam to show that they know about music...
0:01:18 > 0:01:19in theory.
0:01:19 > 0:01:25OK, guys, OK, listen up. Now I hope you are all ready for your exam.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26I was born ready.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Now, look, I know it's not as entertaining
0:01:30 > 0:01:33as a normal lesson with me.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34How could it be?
0:01:35 > 0:01:39But this exam is very important
0:01:39 > 0:01:42so I need you to focus, focus, focus.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46You have 45 minutes to answer the questions in complete silence.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Five, six, eight - go!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58HE PLAYS A NOTE ON THE XYLOPHONE
0:02:00 > 0:02:02HE PLAYS ANOTHER NOTE
0:02:02 > 0:02:04HE STARTS PLAYING A TUNE
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- Sir... - HE CONTINUES PLAYING
0:02:07 > 0:02:09- Sir!- Yes, Emily?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Could you stop that? I'm finding it hard to concentrate.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Er, sorry, Emily, this is natural talent, you can't just turn it off.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- But, Sir...- Ssshhhhh!
0:02:18 > 0:02:19(Exam.)
0:02:29 > 0:02:32HE CHANTS ALONG TO THE DRUM
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- Sir... - HE CONTINUES TO CHANT
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Sir!- Sorry, Emily, could you just tear your eyes off me
0:02:36 > 0:02:39for one second and focus on your test paper?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44# Everybody in the exam
0:02:45 > 0:02:48# Concentrating really hard
0:02:49 > 0:02:52# They'd better get their questions nailed
0:02:52 > 0:02:56# Otherwise they know they're going to fail... #
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- ALL:- Sir! - What?!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Form tutor Mrs Mark is a stickler for fairness
0:03:03 > 0:03:04when it comes to exams.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06With her son Mark in her class,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09she has to be very careful not to give him an unfair advantage.
0:03:10 > 0:03:15You can't let personal relationships affect your work in the classroom.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19I doubt most of the children even realise I'm Mark's mum.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Right, then, test time.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I hope you've all been revising.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Now remember, the questions could be about anything you've learned
0:03:27 > 0:03:29this year, so pay attention.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Question number one.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36What does Mark like for his tea?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- But, Miss...- Erm...
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Potato wedges.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44The correct answer is potato waffles
0:03:44 > 0:03:45but I will give you that one.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49- (Well done, Mark.)- Boom!
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- I'm on fire. - Question number two.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56When Mark was a little boy, he fell over and grazed which knee?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- The right?- The left?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Wrong! It was both knees.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Your mummy had to kiss them better, didn't she, Marky?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Apparently.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- What? - And, final question... Concentrate.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Who's the bestest boy in the whole wide world?
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Mark. - SCATTERED LAUGHTER
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Well, ye-yes, that's the correct answer.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22So that makes it a draw, Miss?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24No, it-it can't...
0:04:25 > 0:04:29The last two questions are cancelled which means the winner is...
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- ..Mark.- Yes!
0:04:33 > 0:04:38- What a surprise. - Who is awarded Pupil of the Week.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- Well done, Mark.- Unbelievable.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Exam over, Mark wins. - SHE LAUGHS
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Have a lollipop, Mark.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Thanks, Mum. I mean, Miss.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- She's not my mum. - SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:04:52 > 0:04:57Break time, and Dave has left his post to patrol the corridors.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Break time is not child's play.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Well, it is for the children, but not for me.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02RADIO CRACKLES
0:05:02 > 0:05:05'Dave, we've got a Code One, Corridor Three, over.'
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Code One? Chewing gum!
0:05:07 > 0:05:08RADIO CRACKLES
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Attention all cleaners, Code One on Corridor Three. This is not a drill.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13SIREN BLARES
0:05:13 > 0:05:17# Who are you? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:05:34 > 0:05:37- False alarm, it's just a mint. - Sorry, Dave.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Better safe than sorry, Kev, we've got to check these things out.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Right, nothing to see here.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49RADIO CRACKLES
0:05:49 > 0:05:54Come in, Dave, Code One, Code One! Chewing gum!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Copy that, Kev, I'm on my way.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58# We don't get fooled again. #
0:06:02 > 0:06:04SIREN BLARES
0:06:07 > 0:06:11They are very strict on chewing gum at this school.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14With so many teachers adjudicating exams, supply teachers
0:06:14 > 0:06:18such as Miss Goldfish have been brought in to cover normal lessons.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20This morning, she is covering English.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23It is important that you children understand
0:06:23 > 0:06:27that I, unfortunately, only have a five-second memory.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I know this will make our lesson difficult,
0:06:31 > 0:06:34but it is important that you children you understand
0:06:34 > 0:06:39that I, unfortunately, only have a five-second memory.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- I know this will make our lesson...- Difficult!
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- LAUGHTER - Difficult.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- Thank you...- Billy.- ..Billy.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51I'll try to remember that.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Good luck. - LAUGHTER
0:06:53 > 0:06:58Anyway, I'll just write my name on the board, it's Miss Goldfish.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03LAUGHTER
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Oh.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Did I..? - ALL:- Yes, Miss.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Right.
0:07:08 > 0:07:13Well, it's important that you children understand
0:07:13 > 0:07:18that I, unfortunately, only have a five-second memory.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I know this will make our lesson...
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- ALL:- Difficult. - Oh.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:07:25 > 0:07:29After 50 minutes of Miss Goldfish introducing herself,
0:07:29 > 0:07:348B are relieved to go to their French lesson.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Hello, my name is Miss Goldfish.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39It's important that you children understand
0:07:39 > 0:07:43that I, unfortunately, only have a five-second memory.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I know this will make our lesson...
0:07:46 > 0:07:47- ALL:- Difficult!
0:07:49 > 0:07:51After two lessons with Miss Goldfish,
0:07:51 > 0:07:548B are virtually looking forward to their Business Studies exam.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55MUSIC: The Apprentice Theme
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Or task, as Mr Windlow calls it.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Good morning, Team Thrust.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- ALL:- Good morning, Lord Windlow.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Today's task is about sports.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08The sports equipment industry in Great Britain is worth
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- over 11-teen gravillion pound a year.- Is that a real number?
0:08:11 > 0:08:15It's a business number, Taj, and I mean business.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20New sports products come to the market at a rate of 15 a second.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24One, two, three.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26That's 45 new sports products
0:08:26 > 0:08:29and you lot haven't even had an idea yet.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Disgraceful. Don't you know, business never sleeps.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- BILLY LAUGHS - What about the bed business?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40Like it. But no, you're wrong!
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Right, for today's Business Studies exam or task,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I want you to run around this table five times and every time
0:08:47 > 0:08:52you pass me, I want you to pitch me an idea for a new brand of trainers.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54But that's not Business Studies, that's PE.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57There is no such thing as not Business Studies, Taj.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01And remember, at the end of this,
0:09:01 > 0:09:05one of you will be leaving the process.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Mr Nasal is having a late lunch with Miss Spray.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11It's just as friends but he's hoping to make a good impression.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Thank you, Mr Nasal. - You're welcome, Miss Spray.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20Sir, Madam, welcome to Chez Tucker, a marvellous dining experience.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23We've got a very special menu for you today.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25There's all sorts of leftovers back there.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26But first...
0:09:27 > 0:09:29..glass of red for the lady?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Oh...- No, no, we'll just have our starters, please.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Suit yourself.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37You're looking very beautiful today, Miss Spray,
0:09:37 > 0:09:38if I may say so.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Have you done something different to your hair?
0:09:42 > 0:09:43I brushed it.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Soup a la sprouts.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47Enjoy.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- Do you mind?- Oh, I get you, you want a bit of privacy.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Say no more, say no more.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58You won't even know I'm here.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Miss Spray, I...- Rose for the lady?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Ladies love a rose.- No, thank you.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Suit yourself.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16As I was saying, Miss Spray, I...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Music for the lady?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Ladies love a bit of music. - SHE STARTS TO PLAY
0:10:20 > 0:10:23No, just leave us in peace.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Suit yourself.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29As I was saying, Miss Spray, I...
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Fluffy dice for the lady?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Raw cabbage for the lady?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Carpet cleaner for the lady.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Ladies love a bit of cleaning carpets.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Mrs Tucker, please, you are going to ruin our lunch!
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Suit yourself.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44I'll leave you to it.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51As I was saying, Miss Spray...
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Tissue for the lady?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04I just saw Mr Nasal and Miss Spray having lunch together.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06It put me right off my food.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Due to exams, Product Design is also being covered by a supply teacher.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Former call centre employee, Miss Openshaw.
0:11:15 > 0:11:20Good afternoon and thank you for coming to Design Technology.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23If you'd like to learn about the properties of acrylic, say...
0:11:23 > 0:11:24- IN LOW VOICE:- ..acrylic...
0:11:24 > 0:11:25now.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- IN LOW VOICE:- Acrylic. - LAUGHTER
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Thank you. You've selected...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- IN LOW VOICE:- ..acrylic.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Please choose from the following options.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Press one for colour, press two for melting point,
0:11:37 > 0:11:40press three for resistance.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Press what? - THEY LAUGH
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Would you like to hear those options again?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46No.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- Connecting you to resistance. - THE CLASS GROAN
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Please hold.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Your education is important to us.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57GENERIC "ON HOLD" MUSIC PLAYS
0:11:57 > 0:11:59BILLY GROANS
0:12:06 > 0:12:11And so to maths, where Mr Konnundrum is posing an exam-related question.
0:12:11 > 0:12:16So, if a man has been overseeing the maths GCSE exams
0:12:16 > 0:12:18for the last five hours...
0:12:19 > 0:12:21..and has been given the responsibility
0:12:21 > 0:12:25of keeping all 92 completed test papers safe...
0:12:27 > 0:12:30..he leaves the classroom for five minutes to get a coffee...
0:12:31 > 0:12:35..and when he returns, all the exam papers have, er...
0:12:36 > 0:12:37..disappeared.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Should the man, A -
0:12:45 > 0:12:51make 92 fake exam papers by filling in the answers himself or B -
0:12:51 > 0:12:54book a one-way ticket to Panama and get out of town?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Yes, Taj?
0:12:56 > 0:12:57Neither, Sir.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00He should go straight to Mr Barker and confess what's happened.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Right.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Yes.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Quiet reading.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10HE WALKS OUT SOBBING
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Exam day is almost over and while Mr Konnundrum receives
0:13:15 > 0:13:19a dressing down from Mr Barker, it appears that his exam papers
0:13:19 > 0:13:22are safe and sound in the hands of another member of staff.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:13:27 > 0:13:29CHILDREN CHEER
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Exam day wasn't too bad really.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Apart from the tambourine playing.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40And the heightened security.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42And the unfair tests.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43What?
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- And the supply teachers. - THEY GROAN
0:13:47 > 0:13:50There is just one more lesson before home time.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52THEY GROAN
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Hello, my name is Miss Goldfish.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- ALL:- We know!
0:13:57 > 0:14:01I know who she is, she's Miss Goldfish. I could tell her that!
0:14:01 > 0:14:03# It's my life
0:14:03 > 0:14:06# It's now or never
0:14:06 > 0:14:11# I ain't going to live for ever
0:14:11 > 0:14:15# I just want to live when I'm alive
0:14:17 > 0:14:18# It's my life
0:14:18 > 0:14:21# My heart is like an open... # SCHOOL BELL RINGS