Parents Evening

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours,

0:00:04 > 0:00:06a school like any other.

0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,

0:00:10 > 0:00:13most respected members of the teaching profession.

0:00:13 > 0:00:17Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like

0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Welcome to Class Dismissed.

0:00:27 > 0:00:29SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:00:29 > 0:00:31It's an important day at Dockbridge High.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34The second floor toilets have finally been unblocked.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36And not only that, it's parents' evening.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38But today...

0:00:38 > 0:00:39Site Manager Dave is briefing his

0:00:39 > 0:00:42- team for what promises to be a busy day.- So go out there...

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Big day. A lot of people coming to see what kind of ship I run here.

0:00:46 > 0:00:50And by ship, I mean school. So the place has to be spotless.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52And by spotless, I mean clean.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57I know one of you has been using the circular floor polisher

0:00:57 > 0:00:58- without permission.- Sorry, Dave.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01It's all right, Kev. Just don't let it happen again.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04But today is the day - parents' evening.

0:01:04 > 0:01:09So go out there and get this school spotless.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Cleaners, present mops!

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Parents' evening is the biggest,

0:01:14 > 0:01:17if not the only date in Dave's calendar.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Kevin!

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Sorry, Dave. It's just so much fun.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Parents' evening is the talk of the playground too.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33And as usual, attention has focused on year 8 pupil Mark.

0:01:33 > 0:01:38Not just because he's 6'3" but because his mum is a teacher.

0:01:38 > 0:01:39She's not my mum!

0:01:39 > 0:01:41- OTHERS:- Mark!- Oh!

0:01:41 > 0:01:46Now, some might find it strange that I teach my own son, Mark.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50But I just treat him exactly the same as the other pupils.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53It's registration. A kind of exam where the teacher

0:01:53 > 0:01:57- tests the pupils to see if they know their own names.- Yes, miss.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Nathan.- Yes, miss.- And Mark.

0:02:00 > 0:02:04Yes, Mum. I mean, miss. She's not my mum!

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Now, it's parents' evening tonight and there's definitely one

0:02:07 > 0:02:13lucky boy - or girl - with absolutely nothing to worry about.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16That's right, it's this week's star pupil.

0:02:17 > 0:02:22- Would anyone like to guess who it is?- Oh, I don't know. Is it Mark?

0:02:26 > 0:02:30- It's Mark!- It's always Mark.

0:02:30 > 0:02:31Where are you, Mark?

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Mark?

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Mark!

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Oh, come up here and collect your reward.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- REST OF CLASS CHUCKLES - Perhaps if you're very lucky,

0:02:55 > 0:02:59you'll all have as glowing a report as Mark here.

0:02:59 > 0:03:03I can only imagine how proud his mum must be.

0:03:04 > 0:03:05She's not my mum.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Later that morning and some of the pupils have volunteered to help

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Miss Flip get the art display ready for parents' evening.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Plus, it gets them out from making quiche in Food Technology.

0:03:19 > 0:03:24It's important to hang your work, you see, so you get a better idea

0:03:24 > 0:03:29of how it might look on display, in a gallery or a museum...

0:03:29 > 0:03:34- or a drawer, Martin.- Thanks, miss.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Ah! Perfect! Look.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45Hanging paintings is an art in itself. Do you see?

0:03:45 > 0:03:49- Yes, miss. It looks great now that it's finished.- Finished?

0:03:49 > 0:03:54Mmm....yes, it is, it isn't it?

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Or is it?

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Hang on, isn't that one a bit skew? - Looks fine to me, miss.

0:03:59 > 0:04:05No, I think... I think this needs just...just...just one more thing!

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Ah! Perfect.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13But now the others look all wrong, don't they?

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- I think they looked fine as they were, miss.- You're right.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Stand back, everyone.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22Artist at work!

0:04:22 > 0:04:27Oh, yes! Art.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Yes, marvellous. Wonderful things!

0:04:31 > 0:04:35Tape, tape, Martin. That's it, tape.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Ah, there. You see, much better.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Well, class dismissed.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Lunchtime - the time when pupils have their lunch.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53Eugh, get your food away from me, man. That is gross. That is grim.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55I don't want cheese near me, man.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59PROKOFIEV'S ROMEO & JULIET PLAYS

0:05:02 > 0:05:06Business Studies teacher Mr Windlow had a successful career in business

0:05:06 > 0:05:09before he gave it all up for a more rewarding job.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11And then gave that up to become a teacher.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15- Good afternoon, class. - STUDENTS:- Good afternoon, sir.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Right, let's cut to the chase.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21I've been going through the books and this operation is going nowhere.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23We need to turn this business around.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27- Today is a clean slate for... What are you called?- Year 8, sir.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Rubbish! Year 8, meaningless.

0:05:30 > 0:05:34You need something forward thinking and exciting. Advantage.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Thrust. Thrust!

0:05:38 > 0:05:43From now on you're no longer year 8, you're Team Thrust.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Let's make it official. Contact the legal department.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50- We don't have a legal department. - We do now.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Welcome to the team, Taj. You're head of legal.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Thanks, sir.

0:05:57 > 0:06:02Now, let me ask you all. Are you committed to this process?

0:06:02 > 0:06:04- PUPILS:- Yes, sir.- How much?

0:06:04 > 0:06:06100%.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- 110%?- That's more like it.

0:06:09 > 0:06:14- You have the makings of a future project manager.- Thanks, sir!

0:06:14 > 0:06:15Don't get cocky!

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Now, if you want my investment,

0:06:19 > 0:06:23have your business plan on my desk by the end of the lesson.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27And remember, at the close of play...one of you

0:06:27 > 0:06:30will be leaving the process.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Let's do business.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40As the day draws to an end, final preparations are made

0:06:40 > 0:06:42and the pupils return with their parents.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53Windlow, education is my business. Windlow. Here's my card.

0:06:59 > 0:07:04Jasmine and her mum are waiting to see Sir Stanley Bleacher.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Shh! It's starting.

0:07:06 > 0:07:11- MAN:- Who is this magical creature with such attractive features?

0:07:11 > 0:07:12It can only be...

0:07:14 > 0:07:16..the drama teacher.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Prologue. End of scene.- Oh!

0:07:24 > 0:07:28That was an excerpt from my new one-man show, Drama Teacher!

0:07:28 > 0:07:34- About a drama teacher. I play the drama teacher.- It was very good.

0:07:34 > 0:07:37I actually have a preview with the local press in about an hour

0:07:37 > 0:07:40- so if we can try and make this quick.- Right.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- Well, I have had a few concerns, actually.- I know.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46I know, I didn't quite deliver on the emotions

0:07:46 > 0:07:48but I'm saving my voice for later.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52- I was talking about Jasmine. - Who's Jasmine?- Me.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55- But she isn't even in the play.- No.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59- I want to know how she's doing in class.- Oh, I see!

0:07:59 > 0:08:03Well, let's just say she's no Dame Judi Dench.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Did I ever tell you about the time

0:08:05 > 0:08:08that Dame Judi and I were in a taxi together? There we were...

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- So Jasmine's not doing well in your class?- She's rubbish.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14- Hey, I'm sitting right here. - Oh, are you?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17I didn't realise because you have such little stage presence.

0:08:17 > 0:08:22- Well, I can act better than you. - Prove it. Play me, Jasmine.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Play me.- Fine.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Maybe if we just talk about her exams.

0:08:27 > 0:08:32Ooh, I'm Sir Stanley Bleacher and I love acting.

0:08:32 > 0:08:33Go on.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Ha-ha-ha! Boo-hoo-hoo!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Now that's acting.

0:08:42 > 0:08:47Bravo! Bravo. That's exactly the kind of passion I'm looking for.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Jasmine, I take it all back. You're extraordinarily!

0:08:52 > 0:08:54You can play me for the rest of the evening.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56Taj's parents are up next. There are the notes.

0:08:58 > 0:09:02Emily's dad has come to meet textiles teacher Miss Dior-Durant.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Mrs Beckham, don't argue with me.

0:09:05 > 0:09:11- You look like scarecrow at disco. She cry. Ha-ha-ha-ha!.- Excuse me.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Excuse me. I'm Emily's dad. - Sympathies.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18- So, is there anything that she should work hard...- Shh!

0:09:19 > 0:09:24Why you wear fancy dress? You go to costume party as concept of boring?

0:09:24 > 0:09:28- I've come straight from work. - Oh, you work as model for clothes

0:09:28 > 0:09:31- to be thrown away.- No, I work in IT.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35No, no, no. No talk. You need serious helps.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38What is she on about?

0:09:38 > 0:09:42And lucky for you I am here to help.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:09:44 > 0:09:47You need to... Not that.

0:09:47 > 0:09:52This is more... This is perfect.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53Oh, wunderbar!

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Pink is so hot right now.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Taj's mum has heard a lot about Miss Franks and is keen

0:10:04 > 0:10:09- to meet her for herself.- Hi, miss. - Bonjour, Taj et la mum de Taj.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13- Willkommen a parents' evening. - Bonjour, Mademoiselle Franks.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Ravie de faire votre connaissance. Taj m'a beaucoup parle de vous.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19- Your who-do-what now? - My mum speaks French, miss.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22- What do you mean? - I mean, she's from France.- France?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Oui, je suis d'un petit village dans les banlieues de Paris.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Ca fait 15 ans qu j'ai vis ici, mais je retourne assez souvent.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31C'est un pays si magnifique.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37- What's up with her? - That was French, miss.- French?

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Yeah, I knew that. Oui.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Merci buckets.

0:10:42 > 0:10:48- Je voudrais un sandwich au jambon et a fromage.- Pardon?

0:10:49 > 0:10:50Je comprends rien de ce qu'elle dit.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54- My mum says she doesn't understand what you're saying, miss.- Ha!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57See? Vous no speaky la French pas, monsieur.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Cette femme est completement idiote?

0:10:59 > 0:11:06I said, je voudrais un sandwich avec jambon et fromage.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Que? Gracias.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Vouz voulez un sandwich au jambon et au fromage?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13- Uh, oui!- Tres bien.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Je vais aller vouz chercher un sandwich au jambon et au fromage.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Mais peut-etre qu'apres vous pourriez me dire comment Taj

0:11:19 > 0:11:20se debrouille dans votre classe.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Bonjour! Where's she off to?

0:11:23 > 0:11:26I think she's gone to get you a ham and cheese sandwich, miss.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Great. I'm starving!

0:11:29 > 0:11:33You see, Taj. It's much more effective to talk to people

0:11:33 > 0:11:35in their own language.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Parents' evening is well underway

0:11:42 > 0:11:45but there's still one teacher who's yet to arrive.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54Mark and his mum, Mrs Mark, are ready to hear some honest feedback

0:11:54 > 0:11:59from Mark's teacher, Mrs Mark, about Mark's mum's son, Mark.

0:11:59 > 0:12:00When you teach your own child,

0:12:00 > 0:12:04it's vital to make the experience as normal as possible.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Oh.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Oh, sorry to have kept you waiting, Mrs Mark. Hello, Mark!

0:12:12 > 0:12:14Hi, Mum. I mean, miss.

0:12:15 > 0:12:19Now, what can we say about Mark?

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Well, he can certainly be quite talkative, can't he?

0:12:24 > 0:12:28Well, that's Mark for you. Always chatting. Natter, natter, natter.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30SHE CHUCKLES

0:12:32 > 0:12:38Oh, yes. But such a nice boy. And a real pleasure to teach.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41In fact, here's a credit to your parenting skills.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47Oh, how kind of you!

0:12:47 > 0:12:50But I'd say it's your teaching abilities that have made Mark

0:12:50 > 0:12:52the boy he is today.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Teaching Mark makes teaching a pleasure.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Oh, well done, son.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Ooh!

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Yes, well done, Mark.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18What a nice lady.

0:13:21 > 0:13:22Bye-bye.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27As normal as possible.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34Hey, Mike. I take it you've just seen the textiles teacher as well.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35No.

0:13:37 > 0:13:38Right.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45Voici votre sandwich au jambon et au fromage.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48Peut-etre que vouz pouvez arreter d'en parler maintenant.

0:13:51 > 0:13:52Merci buckets.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Mm. Bon appetiser!

0:13:58 > 0:14:01As another informative parents' evening draws to a close,

0:14:01 > 0:14:03Mr Weed arrives at last.

0:14:07 > 0:14:08Uh.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Now, who's first?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21# Since you've been gone

0:14:21 > 0:14:23# Since you've been gone

0:14:23 > 0:14:27# I'm out of my head, can't take it

0:14:27 > 0:14:29# Could I be wrong?

0:14:29 > 0:14:31# But since you've been gone

0:14:31 > 0:14:35# You cast the spell so break it

0:14:35 > 0:14:37# Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh... #

0:14:37 > 0:14:39SCHOOL BELL RINGS