0:00:02 > 0:00:03This is Dockbridge High,
0:00:03 > 0:00:05a school just like yours, a school like any other.
0:00:05 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like
0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23SIREN BLARES
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32It's the start of a new day at Dockbridge High
0:00:32 > 0:00:34but already the deputy heads are involved in a fight
0:00:34 > 0:00:36in the playground.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38- PUPILS CHANT:- Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight,
0:00:38 > 0:00:40fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...
0:00:40 > 0:00:42- BELL RINGS - ..fight, fight, fight, fight!
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Head Teacher Mr Barker is known for his inspirational assemblies.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58MR BARKER BARKS
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Thank you, Mr Barker, for those inspirational words.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Particularly the part about acceptable school behaviour.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I think we should all follow Mr Barker's advice
0:01:15 > 0:01:17where behaviour is concerned.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22So, as Mr Barker has been called away on urgent business...
0:01:22 > 0:01:24I think he's already done his business.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- ..as your deputy head... - And me, as your deputy head.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32..to announce that today Dockbridge High
0:01:32 > 0:01:35will be visited by a VIP.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- PUPILS GASP - VI pee.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- What VIP?- Oh...
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Did Mr Barker not tell you?
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Oh, I'm sorry, I've been sworn to secrecy.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49But there will be an assembly this afternoon in honour of our guest.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53She doesn't even know who it is.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57I do but I'm under strict instruction not to tell anybody.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Especially not you.- You don't know.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01You don't know how to put your shoes on.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03You're stupid.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Oh, I know you are. What am I? - BELL RINGS
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Another legendary assembly.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14So, who do you think the special guest is?
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Don't know. Mark, ask your mum. - She's not my mum!
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- She is.- Is not.- She is.- Is not. - Seriously, who do you think it is?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Should I go home and get my make-up?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26I'm seriously excited about this VIP.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I reckon it might be Rita Ora.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- Or Andy Murray.- Or the Queen. - Bill Gates.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- David Beckham.- Beyonce.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- Katie...- Mr Tumble. He's awesome.
0:02:36 > 0:02:37Have you seen the one...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40..where he falls over and gets the pie.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42It's so funny, man.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Mark...
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Yeah, you're right, he's too famous. It's probably the Queen.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Art teacher Miss Flip is about to unveil a special surprise
0:02:54 > 0:02:55for the VIP.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Now, as you know,
0:02:58 > 0:03:02we have a very special guest visiting the school today.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Which is why Mr Barker has agreed
0:03:05 > 0:03:09to let us display one of Dockbridge High's
0:03:09 > 0:03:15most prized possessions in our sculpture corner.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- SHE GASPS - Oh, isn't it wonderful?
0:03:18 > 0:03:23- So, delicate... - What's it supposed to be, Miss?
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Well, that's the beauty of modern art, Emily, you don't have to know.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29If you don't know what it is, Miss,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31How do you know when it's finished?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36Finished? Yes. I wonder...
0:03:37 > 0:03:41..if it could be even better if I added just one more thing?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43I don't think you should, Miss.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45You're right! Stand back, everyone.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49- Artist at work! - CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Streamline.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- SHRIEKS:- That's it!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Yah!
0:03:58 > 0:04:00SHE GROANS
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Very...creative.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09MISS FLIP SIGHS
0:04:09 > 0:04:14- Class dismissed. Oh. - BELL RINGS
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Site Manager Dave is patrolling the corridors.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20There's a VIP in town.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22And by town I mean school.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26So, as the site manager, I have to stay on my toes.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30And by my toes, I mean...toes.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33'Dave, are you receiving me?'
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Copy that, Kev, over.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39'We have a code eight situation in sector four, this is not a drill.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42'There are no paper towels in the boys' toilets, over.'
0:04:42 > 0:04:4410-4, I'm on my way.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- SIREN BLARES - Right, out of the way, emergency!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Gangway! This is not a drill!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Emergency!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55In honour of today's special visitor,
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Mr Christopher is teaching Year Eight
0:04:57 > 0:05:00a dance routine based on the musical Cats
0:05:00 > 0:05:03to perform at this afternoon's assembly.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05So, whenever there's a visitor at the school,
0:05:05 > 0:05:07I always do a bespoke dance piece.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09And they just expect it of me
0:05:09 > 0:05:11and they don't even need to tell me to do it now.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14They don't need to. Cos I will deliver.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Spin. And...
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Hold your positions.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23And relax.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25OK, everyone, huddle in, huddle in.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Chop chop, doobie, doobie, doobie.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- HE PANTS - No-one panic.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32But the assembly for the VIP is this afternoon
0:05:32 > 0:05:36and if you lot do then what you did just now, I will literally die.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- HE INHALES DEEPLY - And breathe.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42OK. So, let's all give it another go.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45But if you don't get it right this time,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49I will have to do it on my own - solo.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52OK, so let's shake out.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Shaking out.- Sir. - OK, shaking it.- Sir.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- I can't hear you cos I'm shaking out.- Sir, I need the toilet!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Fine, just go.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Amateurs. OK, everyone, so, let's go from the top,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13which is what professional dancers call the start.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And, remember, we're meant to be doing Cats.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18So let's try and channel our inner...
0:06:18 > 0:06:20OK, triangle, Martin.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Space.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25And five, six, eight.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31And I'm a cat. Meow. I'm a cat. Meow.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32OK. Arr. Work it.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Work it. Oh, that's terrible.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38OK, stop working it and watch me work it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41I'm a cat, that's it, I'm a ca-a-t.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Meow.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Hmm. I'm a cat.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Self-taught.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- SIREN BLARES - Don't panic! I got towels!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55TOILET FLUSHES
0:06:56 > 0:06:59No, there were no paper towels.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01It's all right, I wiped my hands on my trousers.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03On your trousers?!
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Oh, I've let you down. I've let the whole school down.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09There's only one thing I can do -
0:07:09 > 0:07:10- resign.- Refill.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Or refill them. Yeah. OK.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Over in science, the pupils are preparing
0:07:20 > 0:07:23for another potentially hazardous lesson with Mr Nasal.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28- NASAL VOICE:- OK, quieten down, quieten down.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Now, get out your books and your pens and pencils, please.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36OK, class.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Turn to page 33.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44- Oh, Emily, don't te... - PUPILS GASP
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Ah...ah...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52..don't tell me you've forgotten your science book
0:07:52 > 0:07:54but you've remembered to bring...
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- What is this?- Moisturiser, Sir.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59You know, to stop your skin from drying out.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Moisture for your skin? Oh, no, thank you.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- That sounds disgusting. - HE WIPES HIS SNOT
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- PUPILS:- Urgh.
0:08:08 > 0:08:13- HE SNIFFS - Ah...ah.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16..ah...choo!
0:08:16 > 0:08:18PUPILS GROAN
0:08:18 > 0:08:19(That's disgusting.)
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Ugh. - HE SNIFFS
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Hm, unusual fragrance but quite pleasant. May I?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30PUPILS GASP
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Ah. - PUPILS RETCH
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Ah.- It's all right, Sir, you keep it.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh, thanks very much, Emily.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Right then, class, where were we?
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Oh, yes, page 33 and our study of mucus-producing organisms.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Lunchtime - the canteen is buzzing with talk of the mystery VIP.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58What if it's Wayne Rooney?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00No, I think it's the Prime Minister.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04But the staff remain 100% focused on their work.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- PARTY MUSIC PLAYS - Pool party!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12And, so, to maths with Mr Conundrum
0:09:12 > 0:09:15who encourages his students to apply mathematics
0:09:15 > 0:09:17to everyday situations.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- So... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:09:19 > 0:09:24If a man purchases one pair of roller skates on a Friday...
0:09:26 > 0:09:29..the shopkeeper informs him that he has seven days
0:09:29 > 0:09:31in which to return them.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35He falls over 50, hm, times.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41What is the last day in which he can return them to the shop?
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Yes, Tahj.
0:09:42 > 0:09:47- Friday.- Friday. Hm. And for an extra mark, when is it Friday?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Today, Sir.- Today?!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Right. - CLASS LAUGHS
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Quiet reading!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58Ah!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Meanwhile, in product design,
0:10:01 > 0:10:05Mr Oakley has fashioned a bespoke chair for the VIP guest.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07OK, listen up, men.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- I'm not a man. - Ah, but thou will be one day, lad.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Thou will be one day.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13I won't.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17In honour of our special guest today, I have made this chair.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22It's carved all from a single piece of oak.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Any idea of what else can be carved whole from a single piece of oak?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Yes, son.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33- A pencil.- A walking stick.- A bowl.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Ooh, good, manly answers, men.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38But correct answer to the question -
0:10:38 > 0:10:41what else can be carved whole from a single piece of oak -
0:10:41 > 0:10:43is anything.
0:10:43 > 0:10:49You see now, lads, the day will come, as it did with me
0:10:49 > 0:10:51when you finish making your first chair -
0:10:51 > 0:10:54carved all from a single piece of oak.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57And you'll be stood, holding your chisel,
0:10:57 > 0:11:00a wooden chisel that you've whittled away with your knife,
0:11:00 > 0:11:05a knife made solely out of oak and then,
0:11:05 > 0:11:09and only then, you'll be a man.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- I won't.- Oh, you will...son.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Now, observe, men, as I apply chisel to wood.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Man goggles on.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20And because when you're a man,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23working with wood, as I am a man working with...
0:11:23 > 0:11:24Ahh!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Splinter!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- SIREN BLARES - Out of the way! Out of the way!
0:11:29 > 0:11:30We've got a splinter!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Ahh!
0:11:32 > 0:11:36This lady needs medical attention, out of the way!
0:11:36 > 0:11:41In foods technology, Miss Davis has a special treat bubbling away.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44As we've got a special assembly straight after this lesson,
0:11:44 > 0:11:48I thought we should cook a dish for our VIP.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51And I've gone for something warm and steamy.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53- PFFFFFFRT!- Brown and beefy...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- PFFFFFFRT!- Can you hear it bubbling?
0:11:55 > 0:11:57PFFFFFFRT! PFFFFFFRT!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59That means it's ready to come out.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- PFFFFFFRT!- Oh.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05It's made a bit of a mess on its way out.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06PFFFFFFRT!
0:12:06 > 0:12:10But that's because it's been simmering away in its meaty juices.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11PFFFFFFRT!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Hmm, smell that.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17If you inhale really deeply, you can practically taste it.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19PFFFFFFRT!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21PUPILS COUGH AND RETCH BELL RINGS
0:12:21 > 0:12:23And, so, at the end of the day,
0:12:23 > 0:12:27the school assembles especially for the special school assembly.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I don't think it is, but what if it is?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Quiet, please.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Quiet, please, everyone.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I can now reveal the identity of the special guest
0:12:47 > 0:12:50that you've all been waiting for.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Here to present an award to Mr Barker...
0:12:57 > 0:13:04..is Mrs Margot Collie, head judge of the Great British Dog Show.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06LIGHT APPLAUSE
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Mrs Collie, we're so thrilled that you could come.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18As Mrs Collie presents Mr Barker with his dog award,
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Mr Christopher presents his cat dance.- Five, six, eight!
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Meow.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26Meow.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35Meow.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41MR BARKER BARKS
0:13:47 > 0:13:49MR BARKER BARKS
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Oh!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07As the pupils celebrate their favourite assembly
0:14:07 > 0:14:08of the year so far...
0:14:09 > 0:14:11..Mr Christopher heads for home.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Honestly, let's just talk about it.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Closely followed by Mr Barker.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Just, have the tail! Have the tail!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22# Get your motor runnin'
0:14:23 > 0:14:25# Head out on the highway
0:14:27 > 0:14:30# Lookin' for adventure
0:14:30 > 0:14:33# In whatever comes our way
0:14:33 > 0:14:37# Born to be wild. #