0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06A school like any other.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright, young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:13most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Our cameras filmed for a year to find out what life is really like
0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:00:31 > 0:00:34It's the start of the day and already site manager Dave
0:00:34 > 0:00:36has met his first problem.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40It appears an intruder has snuck into the school overnight.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45Kev, we're looking for a messy eater.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47PIGEONS COO
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Who writes with a quill.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Scratch that. It's a bird.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Bird inside. Code seven.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.
0:01:02 > 0:01:07As Dave starts a bird hunt, Emily is in the library before registration.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Psst.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- All right, Mark? - There's a bird inside.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15- What?- Sh!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20(There's a BIRD INSIDE.)
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- There's a bird inside!- Sh!
0:01:24 > 0:01:25- But, Miss...- Sh.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- ..there's...- Sh.- ..a...- Sh. - ..bird...- Sh.- ..in...- Grr.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- ..the library!- Sh-hh.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31AAAH!
0:01:34 > 0:01:36SHE MUTTERS
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Oh!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41I really did try to tell her.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43SHE GROANS
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Talk of the pigeon spreads throughout the school,
0:01:50 > 0:01:52but its current location remains a mystery.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57WINGS FLAP AND PIGEON COOS
0:01:57 > 0:01:59TOILET FLUSHES
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Oh. Oh.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05MRS MARK HUMS
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Oh.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09MRS MARK CONTINUES HUMMING
0:02:09 > 0:02:15Year Eight form tutor Mrs Mark won't stand for any nonsense.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Hmph. Just because there's a bird running riot in the school,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20it doesn't mean the pupils can do the same.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I have very strict rules and I make no exceptions.
0:02:26 > 0:02:288B.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Who is responsible for this drawing?
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I'm sorry, is there something funny, Billy?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Nah, miss. What's the drawing of?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Oh, I think you know, Billy.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44It is a picture of a bird and a stick lady saying,
0:02:44 > 0:02:46"I done a poo."
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Is that funny?
0:02:50 > 0:02:51It is a bit, miss.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54I would not have someone doing a poo in my classroom.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Someone done a poo in your classroom? Ugh!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59That's not what I mean. Who did it?!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- The poo?- NOT THE POO...
0:03:02 > 0:03:03The drawing.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Come on, somebody here must know.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08If the culprit doesn't confess now,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10we'll all just have to come back here at lunchtime.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11THEY GROAN
0:03:12 > 0:03:14It was me, Mum. I mean, miss.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16She's not my mum.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Don't be silly, Mark, you don't need to take the blame.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21But it was me. I put my name on it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26So you did!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Good.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Because I was going to say...
0:03:32 > 0:03:36look at the talent of this young artist.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39I mean... Pfff. Mm.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Well done, Marky. Have a lollipop.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Can I have one, miss? - No, you cannot.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- What do you think this is, a funfair?- Thanks, Mum.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49I mean, miss.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50She's not my mum.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Well, this is definitely going on the fridge.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59In drama, Sir Stanley Bleacher has been inspired
0:03:59 > 0:04:00by the morning's events.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Settle down, everyone.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Have they caught the bird yet, sir?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07No, sir, they have not. Because in order to catch a bird, one must...
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Have a big net.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Think like a bird.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11On your feet.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14We're going to get inside the mind of a bird.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Now. Tahj.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23I want you to take all of your frustration and fear and anger
0:04:23 > 0:04:28about this bird and channel it into your performance of...
0:04:28 > 0:04:29a pigeon.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Ca-ca-caw-caw-caw!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Ca-ca-ca-CA-ca-CAW! Ca-ca-caw-caw-caw-caw-CAW.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Marvellous.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Very special.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44Now, majestic pigeon, who else is in the aviary with you?
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You will be a parrot.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51You an exotic peacock.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53You shall be a wise owl.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55You a penguin.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57The rest of you are all seagulls.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58And FLY!
0:04:59 > 0:05:03THEY IMITATE BIRDS
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Now, think.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08You're a tiny bird trapped in this enormous school.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Be a bird.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14What? Who's this?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Oh, no.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's Mr Fox!
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I'm on the hunt for food.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Run away!
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Run away!
0:05:27 > 0:05:31THEY SCREAM
0:05:34 > 0:05:36That's acting.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Break. And from time to time,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Dockbridge High holds a bake sale to raise funds for the school
0:05:43 > 0:05:45and sugar levels for the students.
0:05:46 > 0:05:51You do realise that having cakes on display is very unhygienic?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Especially with a bird on the loose.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Who knows what germs have got on these.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58Now, what have we here?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Ugh. It's a chocolate brownie, sir.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Ah...
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Ah-h....
0:06:05 > 0:06:09A...chocolate brownie? Yeah, I'll have three of them.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10- And what's that one?- Carrot cake.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Ah...
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Ah...
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Ah...
0:06:15 > 0:06:17A...carrot cake.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Yeah, I'll have two slices of that.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Hello, Mr Nasal.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Miss Spray.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25I hope all those cakes aren't for you.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28These? Oh, no, no, no.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I never eat cake, Miss Spray,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I like to keep my body in peak physical condition.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Very good.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Well, see you later.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Perhaps.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I certainly hope so, Miss Spray.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46MR NASAL EXHALES
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- I'll take that.- Oi, that's £5.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Oh, well.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53At least he didn't sneeze on...
0:06:53 > 0:06:54ACHOO!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Thanks, sir.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Thanks.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08SCHOOL BELL RINGS
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Break time is over and as the timetable dictates,
0:07:11 > 0:07:158B arrive at a lesson with trainee teacher Wiz Pinkham.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Oh, squee. You got the invitations.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Epic, come in.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- What invitation?- Duh.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23To my charity auction in aid of endangered stuff -
0:07:23 > 0:07:26that's totes why you're all here.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Erm, no. It's on the timetable.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I literally don't know what that is, but, erm...
0:07:32 > 0:07:33It doesn't matter.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Because the real reason we're here is to raise awareness
0:07:37 > 0:07:39for charity endangered stuff.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41By having an auction!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Magda, darling, bang-bangy.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45WIZ GIGGLES AND SNORTS
0:07:45 > 0:07:49So, Daddy has donated loads of adorbs trinkets
0:07:49 > 0:07:51and you all bid and bid
0:07:51 > 0:07:54and the proceeds go to help charity endangered stuff.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Like, erm...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57What are the ones with long necks?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58- Giraffes?- Ah!
0:07:58 > 0:08:02And what about the slow ones with old-man faces?
0:08:02 > 0:08:03That come in a case.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07- Tortoises?- Yah! So accessorised.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08And so sad.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10So, first item!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14An old tennis racquet signed by Andy Murray.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16THEY MUTTER, IMPRESSED
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, gross. It's all dusty and horrible.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Magda, darling, throw, throwy.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Ew.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Oh!
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Next item.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28A week's holly-bobs in our Monte Carlo mansion.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29THEY GASP
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Yuck. Only three of the Jet Skis even have turbo power.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Who, like, wants that?
0:08:33 > 0:08:34I've got 50p.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36WIZ LAUGHS AND SNORTS
0:08:36 > 0:08:38What's p?!
0:08:38 > 0:08:3950 pence.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh. Sorry, heart.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42English money only.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Pence is English money.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Erm, duh! No, it's not.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48English money's like thousand poundsies.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I don't have thousand poundsies.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Oh, that's totes terriblah.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I can't bear. Fine, 50 pensies.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Oh, wire-wire the money to our account in Switzerland.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Magda, darling, wire. Wirey-wirey.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05OK, next item.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09THEY EXCLAIM
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh. This one's a good one.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12It's Daddy's yacht.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Who'd like to start the bidding?
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- 90p!- 2p!- 1p!
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Oh! Sold, yah!
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Oh, fun!
0:09:22 > 0:09:23And charity.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Emily wants to help free the pigeon,
0:09:26 > 0:09:30so she's found geography teacher Mrs Crampon, who's a naturalist.
0:09:30 > 0:09:31Naturally.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36- Mrs Crampon, about the pigeon. I'd really like to...- Sh!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Can you hear that?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40SHE WHISTLES BADLY
0:09:40 > 0:09:42That's coming from you.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45I'm mimicking the bird's customary mating call.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49When he responds, I'll be able to track him to his lair
0:09:49 > 0:09:50and shoot him.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51What?!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54With the camera, lovie. Now, shush.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58We must be careful not to scare him off.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Ah. Crumbs.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01Follow me.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Wait!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07He must have nested in the broom cupboard.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09WET CHEWING
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Just a little mid-morning snack. Nothing to see here.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Miss Spray.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Oh.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Mr Pigeon must be elsewhere.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Don't worry, lovie.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28I'll track him down and release him back into the wild.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Here, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Here, birdie, birdie, birdie.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38The pigeon is the talk of the playground.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Yo, yo, yo. I heard it's an eagle ex-caped from the zoo.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44It's got massive claws and a razor sharp beak.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46It's a pigeon.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Yeah, right. Then how come it ate a year seven?
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Mark, it's a pigeon.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Whatevz.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54You guys wouldn't recognise an eagle if it flew down
0:10:54 > 0:10:56and landed on your face.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Is that snot? Ugh.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Do eagles look like this, Mark?
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Yeah, yeah, totally massive eagle, innit?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07That's a pigeon.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09That's just what it wants you to think.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11PIGEON COOS
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Site manager Dave thinks he's finally getting the upper hand
0:11:18 > 0:11:20in his epic battle with the pigeon.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23He's not.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29I know what you're thinking. It's just a bird.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31And, yeah, it is just a bird.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Today.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36But tomorrow it could be something even worse.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Like...
0:11:38 > 0:11:39two birds.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Er, Dave. Sir.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Sh. I'm on a stakeout.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48Right. Sorry.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- You know that bird you're trying to catch?- Bird?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Winged demon, more like.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57But there's no way he's getting away from me this time.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Right, well, about that...
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I'm in a heightened state of alert.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I could hear an ant cough a mile away.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Doesn't sound like you need my help, then.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I got it all under control.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Now, my fine feathered enemy.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Where are you?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Over in art, Miss Flip is guiding her class
0:12:19 > 0:12:22in the subtle skills of print making.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Feel the work.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Really get inside the painting.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Oh. Not literally, Martin.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Oh.
0:12:33 > 0:12:39By having the canvas on the floor, we're free to move around it.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oh!
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Emily!
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I love the little bird footprints on yours.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50How on earth did you get them so...
0:12:50 > 0:12:52accurate?
0:12:52 > 0:12:54I think an actual bird did it, miss.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Inspired. So!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Whose work is complete?
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Emily!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Yours is, isn't it?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- Is it?- Isn't it?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It is. It's finished.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Finished. Yes. No.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I think possibly it could do with
0:13:17 > 0:13:19one more thing.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23STAND BACK, EVERYONE!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Artist at work!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh, yes!
0:13:29 > 0:13:30Pink!
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Pink, pink, pink!
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Messy! Perfect!
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Paint. Here's the paint.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Well done!
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Yes! Very creative.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Oh. Class dismissed.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Wow. Ooh. - BELL RINGS
0:13:51 > 0:13:55It's the end of the day, but with the pigeon still on the loose,
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Mrs Crampon and Dave stay behind in a final attempt to catch it.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04SHE WHISTLES
0:14:05 > 0:14:07HE COOS
0:14:10 > 0:14:11- Ugh.- Gotcha.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13MUSIC: Bat Out of Hell by Meat Loaf
0:14:13 > 0:14:16# Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
0:14:18 > 0:14:21# When the night is over Like a bat out of hell
0:14:21 > 0:14:23# I'll be gone, gone, gone
0:14:23 > 0:14:29# Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes
0:14:30 > 0:14:33# But when the day is done and the sun goes down
0:14:33 > 0:14:36# And the moonlight's shining... # SCHOOL BELL INTERRUPTS SONG