0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours,
0:00:04 > 0:00:06a school like any other.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Our cameras returned for another year to find out
0:00:16 > 0:00:19what life is really like for the students and their teachers
0:00:19 > 0:00:21at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30BELL RINGS
0:00:30 > 0:00:32It's school photo day at Dockbridge High,
0:00:32 > 0:00:34and this year they've decided to hire
0:00:34 > 0:00:37one of the world's best photographers.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Come on, Martin.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40These cheeks won't contour themselves.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42But none of them were available.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44So they've hired this chap instead.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46I can't wait to get our photos done.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Because it's nice to have a visual record of your time at school?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52No. Because we get to miss double science.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Deputy head, Mr Potter, has been charged
0:00:55 > 0:00:58with looking after the visitor.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I like it! Give me more!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Give me less.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Ah, you must be the photographer.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Blake Papaway.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07Pleased to meet you.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Stop right there.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Don't move a muscle.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11The light is perfect!
0:01:11 > 0:01:14See how it brings out the bone structure?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Well, I did do some modelling as a young man.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I was right. I look amazing.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22I think it's me eyes!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24And me hair.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25And me face.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- Well, if you would like to step this way...- Sure thing, fella.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32This is where you'll be taking the photographs.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Sure, I can make this work.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Go and fetch me my kit, would you, matey?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46BELL RINGS
0:01:46 > 0:01:48As Mr Potter struggles with the kit,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Martin has a music lesson with Miss Glock.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Ah, Martin. Hello.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Let's start with something simple, OK?
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- OK.- The saxophonium.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Really, Miss? I've never played it before.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03I'm not going to give you any instruction, OK?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Let me see what you got.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10HE PLAYS FALTERINGLY
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oh, my Blige!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14He's a genius!
0:02:14 > 0:02:15MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Barlow!
0:02:18 > 0:02:19What do you want, Gary Barlow?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23How did you hear about him so fast?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Yes, he is a genius.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27No, no. No!
0:02:27 > 0:02:29OK, I ask.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Are you free to fly to LA this evening?
0:02:31 > 0:02:32No, I've got Scouts.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34He's got Scouts.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37What do you want me to do, Barlow?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39(Barlow...)
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Right. He wants you to play on his new album.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Talk to him, please.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44Hello?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48It's someone calling from your bank.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49No, it's Barlow.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50He's very tricksy.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I can't, I've got Scouts.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56He's very persistent, isn't he, Miss?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58That's one word for him.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Now, play!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04SAXOPHONE SCREECHES
0:03:04 > 0:03:05MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Ignore that!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Lovely, lovely. And bring it up.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13For Mr Potter, looking after Blake Papaway
0:03:13 > 0:03:14is proving to be a challenge.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh, where's he gone?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20BELL RINGS
0:03:20 > 0:03:23As Mr Potter searches the school, 9B are in ITC,
0:03:23 > 0:03:27where Mrs Haqvindeer has the latest virtual reality headsets,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30purely for educational purposes, of course.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Duck! Incoming!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34ZAP!
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Man down, man down!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Billy, take this laser sword
0:03:38 > 0:03:39and defend the left flank.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Mrs Haqvindeer...
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Mr Potter!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Mrs Haqvindeer, what is going on?
0:03:52 > 0:03:57I was just teaching the class how to use virtual reality glasses
0:03:57 > 0:03:59to do a spreadsheet.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01But I can't work it out.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Well, I am a lot younger than you, Mrs Haqvindeer,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08and a lot cleverer than this lot.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09THEY LAUGH
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Maybe I should have a look.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13If you insist.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14LASERS SHOOT AND ZAP
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Argh!
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Argh!
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Oh!
0:04:18 > 0:04:19CHILDREN LAUGH
0:04:19 > 0:04:22HE GASPS FOR BREATH
0:04:23 > 0:04:25That's not a spreadsheet.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28That's aliens and tentacles and teeth and...
0:04:31 > 0:04:34This is Tentacular Toothy Aliens 4.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- It's a game!- Oh, you're right.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41I'll send it back to the company and explain that I made a mistake.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45What a featherbrain I am!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47We're so lucky you came in when you did.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Very well.- Thank you, Mr Potter.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Don't worry, children, we can do our spreadsheets now.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- What a noob. - CHILDREN LAUGH
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Headsets on.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Time to avenge ourselves.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06For Martin.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- ALL:- Martin!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Argh!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14BELL RINGS
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Break time and, while Blake Papaway photographs his favourite subject,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Mrs Mark is looking for her favourite pupil.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23I just love school photo day.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26And this year, Markey and I are going to have
0:05:26 > 0:05:28our photo taken together.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30We can't wait!
0:05:30 > 0:05:32- Your mum's a teacher. - No, she's not.- Yeah, she is.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- She's not.- Markey!- She is. - She's not.- She is.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36- She's not, though.- She is.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Mark!- You haven't seen me!
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Markey!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Has anyone seen Mark?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- SHE SCREAMS:- Mark!
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Where is that photographer?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58CAMERA CLICKS SEVERAL TIMES
0:06:02 > 0:06:04With school photos temporarily on hold,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Year Nine head outside for a lesson with Bruce Turnip.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- G'day, kids. - CHILDREN:- G'day, cobber.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Fair dinks. So, predators.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18You've got your big five - croc, shark, redback spider,
0:06:18 > 0:06:21box jelly and snake.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23And hungry koala.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Six!
0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Bonza.- I don't think we have any of those in this country, sir.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31That's exactly what they want you to think, tractor.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34But don't come whingeing to me when you've had your arm taken off
0:06:34 > 0:06:35by a bear in a tree.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- I won't.- Good on you.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Oh, strewth, but it's hot out here today.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Now, speaking of predators, I've got something to show you.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Stand well back.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Earlier today,
0:06:48 > 0:06:49I captured a snake.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52His markings are unmistakable.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55He's venomous and he's angry.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58But rather than leave him be, I picked him up
0:06:58 > 0:06:59and put him in this bag.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Oh!
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Look at him!
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Little ripper.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10That's a hosepipe, sir.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Is anyone else roasting hot?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16PIGEON COOS
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Shark! Get down! Shark, shark!
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- A shark?- Yeah, mate.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22In the sky?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Fair point.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Back on your feet, everyone.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Fellas, we've got ourselves a situation.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34I appear to have accidentally released the snake.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Hosepipe.- The adrenaline's affecting my temperature control.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40But don't worry.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42All I have to do is...
0:07:46 > 0:07:50That was a mistake! He's madder than a bunyip in a billabong!
0:07:50 > 0:07:53If I cark it, find a girl called Sheila and tell her I love her!
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Doesn't matter which one.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55BELL RINGS
0:07:55 > 0:07:57It's been a pleasure teaching you all.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Now get indoors!
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Argh! Ah!
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Strewth, it's hot out here!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Next up, 9B will be testing their general knowledge
0:08:07 > 0:08:10in general studies, with Mr Schofield.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Hello, and welcome to General Studies.
0:08:14 > 0:08:19The subject where literally any topic could crop up and...
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- ALL:- Often does!
0:08:21 > 0:08:26Joining me today are two families hoping to win a fortune, so...
0:08:27 > 0:08:29..let's meet them.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Billy, introduce us to your family.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35They're not my family. They're just next to me on the register.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- CANNED LAUGHTER - Ho-ho-ho! Great anecdote.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Jasmine, what about your family?
0:08:39 > 0:08:40They're not my family either.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Oh. Lovely stuff. - AUDIENCE AWWS
0:08:42 > 0:08:45So, let's get on with the first question.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48We asked 100 students,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50"What is your favourite lesson?"
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Billy, what was their answer?
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Break time. - AUDIENCE OOHS
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Break time. It's a good answer.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Let's see if it's right.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Our survey says...
0:09:06 > 0:09:08- BUZZER SOUNDS - Uh-uh!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10- AUDIENCE GROANS - Ho-ho! It's not there!
0:09:10 > 0:09:13It was a good try, but of course break time's not actually a lesson.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15CANNED LAUGHTER
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Tahj?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Double maths. - AUDIENCE OOHS
0:09:18 > 0:09:23Ho-ho! Tahj, if it's up there, I'll give you the points myself.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Let's see if double maths is there.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- BUZZER SOUNDS - Uh-uh!
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- AUDIENCE SIGHS - Wrong again.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33So, Jasmine family, start conferring.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35So, it's all come down to Emily.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Emily, when surveyed,
0:09:38 > 0:09:41which subject do you think that the students of Dockbridge High
0:09:41 > 0:09:43said was their favourite lesson?
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Sir, who ran this survey?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Why, that would be me -
0:09:49 > 0:09:53your host and General Studies teacher Mr Schofield.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Then I think I'm going to go with...
0:09:57 > 0:09:58General Studies?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - General Studies.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Let's see how it fared out.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Was it...?
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Oh, it's the top answer!
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Yes, when asked by their General Studies teacher,
0:10:09 > 0:10:13100% of students said that General Studies was
0:10:13 > 0:10:16their favourite lesson of all time.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Tell me, Emily, how on earth did you know that?
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Just a guess, sir.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- CANNED LAUGHTER - Ho-ho! Well done.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Join us next week, when two more families will be trying
0:10:25 > 0:10:27to win a fortune.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Goodbye!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Wait, when do we get our fortune?
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Oh, just smile and wave, Billy.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36BELL RINGS
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Lunchtime, and while Blake Papaway paps away,
0:10:39 > 0:10:43textiles teacher Miss Dior-Durant has some serious work to do...
0:10:43 > 0:10:45on her vlog.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Welcome to Dior Durant's fashion wideos.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Like, share and subscribe.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55Today I'm showing you my look book for school photo time.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56So let's begin.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Bandanna.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Very fashion forward.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Paparazzi take you very seriously if you wear bandanna.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Rihanna knows it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08This is shawl.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Very now.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Very old lady.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Victoria Beckham say, "I have shawl, I love it!"
0:11:16 > 0:11:18I say, "No, Victoria, that is scarf."
0:11:18 > 0:11:20She cry.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22And to complete the look...
0:11:22 > 0:11:23beard, of course!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25So hipster.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28And remember, lose smiles in photos.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29You want to look like fool?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32So, click likes, shares and subscribes.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Not subscribing - so last season.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Miss, we're ready for our photo, now.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Wunderbar!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41BELL RINGS
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Over in maths, Mr Conundrum has another
0:11:44 > 0:11:47purely hypothetical maths problem.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:11:49 > 0:11:51So...
0:11:51 > 0:11:55if a man goes on a 30-minute run during his free period...
0:11:56 > 0:12:01..but it takes him 30 minutes longer than he thought it would
0:12:01 > 0:12:04because he's not as fit as he remembers...
0:12:04 > 0:12:08and he burns 50 calories for every minute that he runs...
0:12:12 > 0:12:14..how many calories
0:12:14 > 0:12:15will he have burnt off?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Yes, Tahj?
0:12:18 > 0:12:203,000 calories, sir.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Right. That is a lot.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25And, for an extra mark,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28what will happen if he doesn't have time to replace
0:12:28 > 0:12:32those calories before his next lesson?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34He might faint, sir.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Right.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39PUPILS GASP
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Quiet reading?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42BELL RINGS
0:12:42 > 0:12:44CAMERA CLICKS
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- There you are!- I'm sorry, fella. I got lost...
0:12:47 > 0:12:49in the beauty of me own face.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Come on.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55BELL RINGS
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Oh... Oh, come on - more is more, Martin!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00As Mr Christopher puts the finishing touches to his look...
0:13:00 > 0:13:03COUGHING
0:13:03 > 0:13:05..it's finally time for photo time.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Right, sit on the stool.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Look at me.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15And chin up.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Higher.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Higher.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Higher.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Say cheese.- Cheese.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Now put this on.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Where's your horse, Emily? Where's your horse?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- CHILDREN LAUGH - Get off your stool and look for it!
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Now gallop! We're a horse now.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Gallop, gallop! Fabulous!
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Next!
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Now dance! Dance for me.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Shimmy. Fabulous!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Next!
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Eat that carrot. Eat it.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43The camera loves you.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- Look pensive!- What's pensive?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47That's pensive. Next!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Give me your owl eyes.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Now hoot.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52SHE HOOTS
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Next!
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Next!
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Next!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Next!
0:13:57 > 0:13:58I like it.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00BELL RINGS
0:14:00 > 0:14:02School photo day is over, at last.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04That was certainly different.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07I'm not sure my mum's going to want any of those photos.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08What? What are you talking about?
0:14:08 > 0:14:09I can't wait to see them.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15OK, guys, I'm ready for my close-up.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Where's everyone gone?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21They don't know what they're missing.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23It's not often you see a face like this.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26MUSIC: Fame by David Bowie
0:14:26 > 0:14:28# Fame, makes a man take things over
0:14:30 > 0:14:35# Fame, lets him loose, hard to swallow
0:14:35 > 0:14:39# Fame, puts you there where things are hollow
0:14:40 > 0:14:42# Fame... #
0:14:42 > 0:14:43BELL RINGS