0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High. A school just like yours.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06A school like any other.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Our cameras returned for another year
0:00:15 > 0:00:19to find out what life is really like for the students and their teachers
0:00:19 > 0:00:21at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30BELL RINGS
0:00:30 > 0:00:33There's a buzz of excitement in the playground this morning.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Not only is it the end of term...
0:00:35 > 0:00:36Good luck today, Miss.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39..but it's also Miss Spray and Mr Nasal's wedding day.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- Yes, sir! - KIDS CHEER
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- Morning, sir.- Yeah, looking good. - I do like to keep in shape.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48I still can't believe they're getting married today.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I still can't believe they're going to be called the Nasal-Sprays.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52BELL RINGS
0:00:52 > 0:00:55In registration, Mrs Mark is helping her form to prepare
0:00:55 > 0:00:57for a relaxing summer.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Feel yourself relaxing.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Relax.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04TRUMP
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Do you feel relaxed?
0:01:06 > 0:01:07I feel sick.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Now, up we get.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11TRUMP
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Now, open up your chakras.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16TRUMP
0:01:16 > 0:01:21And let the tension just flow out of you.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22LOUD TRUMP
0:01:22 > 0:01:23- Who did that? - KIDS:- Eugh!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Come on! Who's the culprit?
0:01:26 > 0:01:30I will not have someone releasing guffs in my yoga class.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32This is totally unacceptable.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34SHE SNIFFS
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Hang on.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39It's a very familiar smell.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- GIRL:- Eugh!
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Oh... It's a...
0:01:48 > 0:01:49It's got some bite to it.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- Is that one of yours, Mark?- Yeah, Mum.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54I mean, Miss. She's not my mum.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59Well done, Markey. Tiptop relaxing. Have a lollipop.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00You could all learn a lot from Mark.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03We can learn how to stink out the room.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07In fact, you've done so well all year that I'm pleased to announce
0:02:07 > 0:02:12that the Pupil Of The Year Award goes to none other than...
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- Mark!- How unexpected(!)
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Well done, Marky.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20As a special reward, you can assist me in the next yoga move -
0:02:20 > 0:02:22the downward pigeon.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Take my legs, Mark.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28This move is very good for core strength.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30- SHE TRUMPS KIDS:- Eugh!
0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Sorry, Marky.- That's all right, Mum. I mean, Miss. She's not my mum.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Excuse...me, Mrs Mark.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Could I have a word with my two best men, please?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- BOTH:- Yes!
0:02:44 > 0:02:48Sorry, Mum. I mean, Miss.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- What's wrong, Sir?- The wedding, it's off.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- BOTH:- Off? - Yeah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54The wedding planner just called. There's been a mistake.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Nothing's booked - no venue, no food, no flowers, no registrar...
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Nothing. What am I going to tell Miss Spray?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04She's going to be so disappointed.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Sir, leave it with us.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Let Operation Wedding commence.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14BELL RINGS
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Tahj hits the library to do some wedding research
0:03:16 > 0:03:20but he'll need Mrs Winston's blessing first.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Excuse me, Miss.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Are you talking to me?
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Are you talking to me?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Yes. Sorry.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30What do you want?
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- Can I have the Wi-Fi code, please? - The Wi-Fi code?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Where did you hear about a thing like that?
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Well, Martin...- Well, you heard wrong.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40- You hear that, Ron? - MAN GRUNTS
0:03:40 > 0:03:43This joker thinks we have the internet in the library.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Why would we need the internet when we've got all these beautiful books?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Oh, he said to tell you that Charles Dickens sent me.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Charles Dickens sent ya?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Well, why didn't you say so before?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Babyface, sort out a login for our new friend here, won't you?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Knock yourself out, kid.- Thanks.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20And hey, Jabbermouth Boy,
0:04:20 > 0:04:22what part of "keep the internet speakeasy a secret",
0:04:22 > 0:04:24do you not understand?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30With just a few hours to organise a wedding,
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Billy and Tahj spread the word among the pupils and teachers.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36I'm meant to be a bridesmaid.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38You're not, Kevin. We talked about this.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41(I am.)
0:04:41 > 0:04:43BELL RINGS
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Lunchtime, and Mark has been inspired
0:04:45 > 0:04:47by the forthcoming nuptials.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Hi, babe.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Oh, my goodness, literally.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I've got, like, a question for you, innit.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Will you marry me?
0:04:59 > 0:05:00No.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Literally, no.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Just stop following me around, OK?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's getting, literally, really annoying.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- I don't know what I'm doing wrong. - She doesn't fancy you, Mark.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18You've been trying to talk to her all year.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19It's never going to happen.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Mark...
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Look, if you're in the ice rink over summer,
0:05:28 > 0:05:31maybe we can, like, hang out sometime.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Literally, just as friends, OK?
0:05:36 > 0:05:37See you, Mark.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Congratulations, mate.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, my days. Did you see that?
0:05:47 > 0:05:49She is so clingy, man.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- What?- She was all over me. It's embarrassing.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53I need my space.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- See you.- Yeah, whatever.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00She's not my girlfriend.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02BELL RINGS
0:06:02 > 0:06:04It's the last maths lesson of the year
0:06:04 > 0:06:06and Mr Konnundrum has a conundrum.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11So, if a man has, quite honestly,
0:06:11 > 0:06:14had just about all he can take of his current job...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20..and so applies to become an entertainment officer
0:06:20 > 0:06:23on board one of the world's largest cruise ships...
0:06:26 > 0:06:29.."A floating village that will thrill and delight"...
0:06:30 > 0:06:32..according to the brochure.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38How should the man break his imminent departure to his class?
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Or colleagues in the office, but probably his class?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Yes, Tahj?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47He should just turn up in his new uniform
0:06:47 > 0:06:49and set his class a maths problem about how he's resigned
0:06:49 > 0:06:50to work on a cruise ship.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Thank you, Tahj. Very good.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56And for an extra mark,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00is there any advice that you'd like to give to the man?
0:07:01 > 0:07:04You know, with regards to his new career path?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Just do whatever makes you feel happy, sir.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Thank you, Tahj.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12You've been a very good class.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14And you've been a great teacher, Sir.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Right, then.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Quiet reading.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Quiet reading.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31THEY ALL SHOUT GOODBYES
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Maths is going to be pretty boring now.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37BELL RINGS
0:07:37 > 0:07:39As Billy updates Mr Nasal on their progress,
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Miss Dior-Durant is making her own contribution to the wedding.
0:07:44 > 0:07:49Hello, fashion victims, and welcome to Dior-Durant's fashion videos.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Like, share and subscribes.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Today, I will be doing vedding makeover.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56First, foundation.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57I use sponge.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04Eyebrows. Eyebrows are so big right now, so make them big.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Bigger.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Biggest.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Eyeliner.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Just very gently.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Victoria Beckham tried to do this.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I say, "Victoria, you look awful."
0:08:25 > 0:08:26She cry.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Eye shadow.
0:08:29 > 0:08:35And blending, and blending, and blending.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Stop blending!
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Contour.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Now lips.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Remember, lips are the eyebrows of the mouth,
0:08:42 > 0:08:43so make them big.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Eyebrow again.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56And there you have it.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Perfect everyday look for wedding.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02So, remember, click likes, shares and subscribes.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Not subscribing - so last season.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05COUGHING
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Miss, she's ready.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Wunderbar!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Now the dress!
0:09:11 > 0:09:14We may have made a mistake asking Miss Dior-Durant to do the make-up.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16BELL RINGS
0:09:19 > 0:09:22In drama, Mr Christopher is rehearsing for his
0:09:22 > 0:09:24finest role to date.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Of course I'm thrilled to be doing the first dance at the wedding.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30No-one even had to ask me.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Sir, the first dance is usually just the bride and groom.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Get out!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Isolation, now.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54As instructed, Emily has gone to isolation.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Hello.- Hi, Tammy.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Shall I do your hair?- No, thanks.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I am SO excited about the wedding.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- Shall I tell you a secret? - Go on, then.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Me and Billy are getting married, too!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11It's a double wedding!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Quiet, you two! - Does Billy know about that?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Of course not. It's a secret. But I wrote about it in my diary,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20so it must be true. You can read it, if you like.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Read it!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I'd never steal your boyfriend.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I would, really.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30What have you done?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33You are welcome, bestie!
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I'm going to need a hair appointment now.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41A joint hair appointment!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50The pupils and staff have organised everything.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Flowers - check, confetti - check,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57chocolate fountain...
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Check.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05It's time for the wedding of the year.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07But, as no-one was invited to that, everyone's going
0:11:07 > 0:11:11to Mr Nasal and Miss Spray's wedding instead.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13# Cos it's a wedding day. #
0:11:13 > 0:11:14This looks...
0:11:15 > 0:11:17..wonderful.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19But who did you find to conduct the wedding?
0:11:19 > 0:11:23We got Martin ordained, Sir. It's amazing what you can do online.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Thank you, boys. You really are best men.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30She's here, sir.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Good luck.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42# I only dreamed that I would find
0:11:45 > 0:11:49# A loving heart, an open mind
0:11:52 > 0:11:58# To see the real me and I hoped that you would be the one. #
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Wunderbar! You look beautiful, darling!
0:12:06 > 0:12:10# A chance to talk A chance to grow. #
0:12:12 > 0:12:14You look...
0:12:14 > 0:12:15beautiful, Miss Spray.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Thank you, Mr Nasal.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Beautiful flowers.
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Ah...
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Ah...
0:12:26 > 0:12:27Thank you.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of
0:12:32 > 0:12:35our two science teachers and friends.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36- BOTH:- Aww.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43# So I'm talking just as fast as I can to you
0:12:45 > 0:12:50# Suddenly every part of me
0:12:51 > 0:12:55# Needs to know every part of you. #
0:13:02 > 0:13:03And now for the rings.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05The rings.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06The rings!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08GASPS
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Delivery for Mr Nasal?
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Delivery man!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Oh, thank you!
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Perfect.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I now pronounce you husband and wife.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32You may now kiss the bride.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Ah...
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Ah...
0:13:43 > 0:13:44GASPS
0:13:44 > 0:13:46Achoo!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Achoo!
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Achoo!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Achoo!
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Achoo!
0:13:54 > 0:13:57GIGGLING
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Great!
0:14:18 > 0:14:20See? Just a perfectly ordinary school.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21See you next year.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28# Suddenly you're seeing me
0:14:30 > 0:14:32# Just the way I am
0:14:32 > 0:14:35# Suddenly you're hearing me
0:14:36 > 0:14:38# So I'm talking
0:14:38 > 0:14:41# Just as fast as I can to you. #
0:14:42 > 0:14:44BELL RINGS