0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours,
0:00:04 > 0:00:08a school like any other, a place where bright young minds are taught
0:00:08 > 0:00:10by some of the wisest,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14most respected members of the teaching profession.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Our cameras returned for another year
0:00:15 > 0:00:17to find out what life is really like
0:00:17 > 0:00:21for the students and their teachers at this most ordinary of schools.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Welcome to Class Dismissed.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30BELL RINGS
0:00:30 > 0:00:35This morning, Deputy Head Mr Potter has called an important assembly.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Unfortunately, assembly has been made optional,
0:00:38 > 0:00:39so no-one has turned up.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Except Martin.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Morning, sir.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Morning, Martin.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48I've called you all...called YOU here to make an announcement.
0:00:48 > 0:00:53It is with great sadness I have to tell you that overnight,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56our esteemed head teacher, Mr Barker, di...
0:00:56 > 0:00:58MARTIN GASPS
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Decided to retire.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- He's gone to live on a farm. - Oh, that's nice for him.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13This rather leaves a power vacuum that I am only too happy to fill.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16So it is with great pleasure that I can announce
0:01:16 > 0:01:19that I am your new interim headteacher.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Thank you, thank you.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Make sure you tell everyone that I am the new headteacher.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28And that assembly is no longer optional.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30BELL RINGS
0:01:33 > 0:01:37I am extremely sad that Mr Barker has left us.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39He was a marvellous head teacher
0:01:39 > 0:01:42and a much beloved dog.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45On the bright side...
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- SINGS:- I'm the new head teacher, I'm the new head teacher.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49HE LAUGHS
0:01:49 > 0:01:51There are going to be a lot of changes around here.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55Starting with the most important thing.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Left a bit. Right a bit.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Up a bit.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Down a bit. No, left a bit.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04WHIRRING NOISE
0:02:04 > 0:02:06What on earth...?
0:02:06 > 0:02:08WHIRRING NOISE GETS LOUDER
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Miss, there's a helicopter landing in the playground!
0:02:16 > 0:02:20An unexpected arrival has flown in from Head Teacher HQ.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23And it's not good news for Mr Potter.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Welcome to Dockbridge High. I am Mr Potter.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Hilary Head. New head teacher. Walk with me.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29But I thought I was the new...
0:02:29 > 0:02:31'Fraid not, Potty, official documents.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Right, well, it's a pleasure to meet you.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36No time for meet and greet, Pottly.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Oh, that's just fantastic.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Take the painting down!
0:02:45 > 0:02:49In Mrs Mark's classroom, Billy and Mark are striking a deal.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- I'll give you two Chinese and Jamie Vardy.- No way.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Oh, come on, please.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Right, back to your seats, everyone. Excitement over.
0:02:59 > 0:03:04Oh, Markie, what on earth's the matter?
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Well, you know how all I need is Cristiano Ronaldo
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- to complete my collection year... - Yes.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Well, Billy's got it,
0:03:11 > 0:03:14and he won't swap me for it and I really want it, Mum.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15I mean, Miss.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- She's not my mum.- Telltale. - Billy! Is this true?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Well, Mark, what have you offered him?
0:03:22 > 0:03:28- Two Chinese and Jamie Vardy.- Oh, Jamie Bardy.- Vardy.- Vardy.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Well, besides, you shouldn't be playing with football stickers
0:03:31 > 0:03:33during class time anyway,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- so I'll have to confiscate them. - What?!
0:03:35 > 0:03:36- Thanks, mate.- Sos.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40And now it's time for the Pupil of the Week.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Ooh, I wonder who it will be(!)
0:03:42 > 0:03:44It's...Mark!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Well done, Markie. And guess what?
0:03:48 > 0:03:53The award for Pupil of the Week is rather a lot of football stickers.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55There you go, Markie.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58There should be a Ronaldo in there somewhere, shouldn't there?
0:03:58 > 0:04:03- Now, can I see that little smile? - Thanks, Mum. I mean, Miss.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04She's not my mum.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Having demoted Mr Potter, new head teacher Hilary Head
0:04:13 > 0:04:15is wasting no time in getting to grips
0:04:15 > 0:04:17with the most pressing school issues.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Now, and by now, I mean yesterday.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- How many pairs of underpants are in Lost Property?- Six.- Six?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- Get me six more. What colour are the paper towels in the toilets?- Green.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- Make them blue. School musical? - Cats.- Make it Bugsy.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32But keep the cats.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40What...are...they?
0:04:40 > 0:04:45- The children.- Children?! No-one said there'd be children here!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47It's an infestation!
0:04:47 > 0:04:49I'll be in my office, Pot-pots.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Let me know when you've got rid of them.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55There are thousands of them!
0:04:55 > 0:04:56As Mrs Head hides in her office,
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Year Nine are in Food Technology with Mr Barrowboy.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Hello, and welcome to the Food-Tech kitchen.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06In front of you, you'll find a tray.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10On that tray are three secret ingredients. Take a look.
0:05:11 > 0:05:16You have one minute to make your dish. Think big flavours. Oi!
0:05:16 > 0:05:21And don't forget your presentation. Ready? Get cooking!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Now then, Tahj, what are you making for us today?
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Um, I'm probably going to arrange some crisps in a crescent shape.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Oh! Crescent-shaped? That is brave cooking.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37I just hope you can pull it off in the time.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Jasmine, tell us about your dish.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Well, I was thinking of maybe making a cheese baguette with pickle.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Whoa! I don't know what to expect.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48It'll be a Food-tech kitchen first
0:05:48 > 0:05:51but I tell you what, I can't wait to taste it!
0:05:51 > 0:05:56OK, ladies and gentlemen, it's time...
0:05:56 > 0:05:57to stop cooking!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- I don't know about you, John... - Tahj.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05..but I can't wait to taste this!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Yah! Hm. Yum, argh, nam, nam!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12LAUGHTER
0:06:12 > 0:06:14It's delightful!
0:06:15 > 0:06:18With Hilary Head already making her mark,
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Year Nine are looking forward to the familiarity of their English lesson.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25But something has changed.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26What's up, classoo?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Let's just address the elephant in the room, yeah?
0:06:29 > 0:06:32You've all noticed there's something different about me, right?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- You've dyed your hair.- That's right, fan.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Me dreads, they is red, yeah?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38It's more of a pink, to be honest, sir.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41It just needs a second coat.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Also, no biggie, but...ah!
0:06:43 > 0:06:47I got inked, yeah. Tote-sootatt, tat-tastic,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattoo.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- That's not a real tattoo, sir.- Yeah, it is.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55It's not, it's a fake sleeve. My cousin got one on holiday.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57Ah, no, don't! It's really sore!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Aren't tattoos and pink hair against school regulations?
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Yeah, like I care.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Are they?- The new head had these posters put up everywhere.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Whatevs.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08I'm a rebel.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10I ain't afraid of no authori-ty.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13If the head wants me to change my style
0:07:13 > 0:07:15to fit in with her regulations, well...
0:07:17 > 0:07:18She can just come in here...
0:07:18 > 0:07:20KNOCK AT DOOR
0:07:20 > 0:07:23She's here. Hide me! Hide me!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25KNOCKING CONTINUES
0:07:25 > 0:07:27They'll never take me alive!
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- I've got a note for Mr Capp. - Tell her I'm not here.
0:07:39 > 0:07:45In the next lesson, Year Nine will get to learn Spanish...allegedly.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Ole!
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- Now that's Spanish.- Hola, class.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05My name is arrrrrr-ah!
0:08:07 > 0:08:11But you can just call me Senor Juan Castaneta.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13- ALL:- Hello, senor.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18Shhhhh!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- You understand what I'm saying?- No.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Then you have no Spanish in your heart, and I cannot help you.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34It is my belief that you can learn more Spanish
0:08:34 > 0:08:36from a movement in the hips...
0:08:37 > 0:08:40..than you can from reading the whole Spanish dictionary.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Well, this was a waste of money. - Correct.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46You will go far, my friend. You get an A.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- That's Spanish for A.- Oh, nice one.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51What's the Spanish for hello, sir?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54That's a good question. The answer is, of course...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Spanish guitar.- What's the actual word?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03What is the actual word?
0:09:04 > 0:09:10You asked me what is the actual jjjjjjjjuord?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14What I teach you is more than words.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18It is the language of passion, of love.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Of a nice paella and a beach of sunburnt tourists.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25It is Spanish. Here speak now.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Dios mio, your accent is horrendous!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Go to isolation for the rest of the lesson.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Tell whoever is on duty that I said, "Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!"
0:09:39 > 0:09:42They'll know what I mean if they have Spanish in their hearts.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- And what if they don't, sir?- Good point, I'll write you a note.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55In the isolation room,
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Jasmine is hoping to pass the time quickly and quietly.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01But Tammy has other ideas.
0:10:02 > 0:10:07- Hello, I'm Tammy.- Hi.- Who's your star sign? Let's say it together.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- Ca...- Capricorn! No way! Me too.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12It means I'm sweet, but I have a wild side that I keep hidden.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Rarr!
0:10:13 > 0:10:15SHE GIGGLES
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Be quiet!- We are so going to be best friends for infinity.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- I made you this friendship bracelet. - Thanks.- You've got to wear it!
0:10:22 > 0:10:23All right, all right.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26SHE LAUGHS
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Right, that's it, you're back in here tomorrow.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Yes!- No!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Best friends forever.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38- Now I'm a bridesmaid at her sister's wedding.- We've got matching dresses.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39BELL RINGS
0:10:39 > 0:10:42As head of arts, not including actual art,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Mr Christopher teaches music, dance and drama.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Today, it's one of those.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50So, today's lesson
0:10:50 > 0:10:52is all about trust.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56As an actor, you are nothing without trust.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57And amazing cheekbones.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02This is the circle of trust.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Fail! Each and every one of you fails.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13That was a perfectly executed trust fall and none of you caught me.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15- Well, you didn't warn us, sir.- That is not the point, Emily.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19This...dramatic pause...is drama.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21And in drama you should expect anyone
0:11:21 > 0:11:23to dramatically fall at any moment.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Et tu, Martin? Et tu?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Latin, bilingual.- Can we have a go, sir?- No, you cannot, Billy.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- It's not just falling down, you know.- Looks like it.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41This takes years of training and a dancer's physique.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Born with it.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46But you can practise your catching positions if you like.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47On your feet!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Come on!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Do-be-do, do-be-do.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55No, remember your posture.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57The catcher is performing too.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Oh, keep an element of drama.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Stop, stop. Oh, I can't bear it. Stop!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Amateurs. Right, I'll show you again. Form a group.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15To make this even more dramatic, this time,
0:12:15 > 0:12:17I will be using a blindfold.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Gasp! I know.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23You must be a highly trained actor to do this, OK?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Don't try this at home.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Martin, film me.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31OK, prepare to catch me.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Five, six, eight and...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Argh.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Argh!
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Stop filming!
0:12:43 > 0:12:45With the end of the day in sight,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48it's probably time for probabilities with Mr Konnundrum.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Probably.
0:12:50 > 0:12:55So if a man buys one second-hand washing machine,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58because he wants to wash his best suit for school,
0:12:58 > 0:13:02or wherever he works, but it's probably a school,
0:13:02 > 0:13:06he looks for the correct symbol on the dial.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08PEN SQUEAKS
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- But due to wear and tear... - HE BANGS THE BOARD
0:13:11 > 0:13:13it's been rubbed off.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17So he accidentally washes his suit at 95 degrees...
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- SOBS:- for four hours!
0:13:21 > 0:13:26What is the probability that the man's suit will shrink? Yes, Tahj.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- 95%, sir.- Right.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30And for an extra mark,
0:13:30 > 0:13:34how might the man go about getting his suit back to normal size?
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- I don't think that can be done, sir. He'd have to buy a new one.- Right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41THEY LAUGH
0:13:41 > 0:13:43I'm off to the shops then.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- TEARING SOUND - Oh, oh.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48THEY LAUGH
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Quiet reading!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52- ALL:- Oh, no!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55BELL RINGS
0:13:55 > 0:13:58It's the end of the day, and as the children leave,
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Mr Potter coaxes Hilary Head out of her office.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05That's it. Looking very brave.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11- They've gone?- Yes, they've all gone home.- Gone forever?
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Well, not for ever, they'll be back tomorrow.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16SHE SCREAMS
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Bring the ice, Martin, bring the ice!
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Gangway!
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Trouser problem.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27# I'm on the highway to hell
0:14:28 > 0:14:31# On the highway to hell
0:14:32 > 0:14:35# Highway to hell
0:14:36 > 0:14:40# I'm on the highway to hell... #
0:14:42 > 0:14:44BELL RINGS