Monday Again

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High, a school just like yours,

0:00:04 > 0:00:06a school like any other,

0:00:06 > 0:00:09a place where bright young minds are taught by

0:00:09 > 0:00:14some of the wisest, most respected members of the teaching profession.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Our cameras returned for another year to find out

0:00:16 > 0:00:19what life is really like for the students and their teachers

0:00:19 > 0:00:21at this most ordinary of schools.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Welcome to Class Dismissed.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30BELL RINGS

0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's early morning, and librarian Mrs Winston

0:00:33 > 0:00:35is enjoying the peace and quiet.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37WHISPERING

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Hey, whispering boy!

0:00:38 > 0:00:42What part of "strictly no talking" do you not understand?!

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Despite warnings from her friends,

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Jasmine has decided to join the library, or the "family",

0:00:49 > 0:00:51as Mrs Winstone calls it.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Look, Ron. We've got ourselves a visitor.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55Take the weight off.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01So, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03I'd just like to join the library, please.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07You want to be part of this, you've got to earn my trust -

0:01:07 > 0:01:09and bring two passport photos and a completed form.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Huh! I like you, kid.

0:01:13 > 0:01:14I like you a lot.

0:01:18 > 0:01:19Looks like we're in business.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21DEEP GRUNT

0:01:24 > 0:01:26You're part of the family now, understand?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28We'll look out for you.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Was it just books for you?

0:01:29 > 0:01:31We'll even send you a reminder

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- the day before you need to return your loans.- Um, thanks.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37But remember, don't be overdue.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39- I won't.- Now, get outta here!

0:01:39 > 0:01:41BELL RINGS

0:01:43 > 0:01:46In Geography, wannabe magician Miss Presto

0:01:46 > 0:01:49is taking the register with the power of her mind.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52John! Is there a John in the room?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54Anyone here called John?

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Or Jack?

0:01:57 > 0:01:58There's always a Jack.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00James.

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Josh.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- Emily.- Yes, Miss.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06I knew it! I read your mind.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08You read the register.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10I'll do it again. I'll name your pet.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Your cat's name is Martin!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16That's amazing!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18- You're not a cat.- Oh.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Wrong, Miss. Sorry.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23I know that, because I read your mind.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26I meant to say Kitty.

0:02:26 > 0:02:27Snuggles.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Fluffy?- No, it's called Kat Kardashian, Miss.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32You're kidding me!

0:02:32 > 0:02:34How am I supposed to guess that?!

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Mind-reading?

0:02:37 > 0:02:38Who wants to see a card trick?

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Magic.

0:02:44 > 0:02:45BELL RINGS

0:02:47 > 0:02:49The next lesson is Art, with Mr Rhomb.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57Mr Rhomb likes to immerse himself in the work - quite literally.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00PUPILS GASP

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Gather.

0:03:06 > 0:03:13Today, without thinking, I want you to splatter the canvas with paint.

0:03:13 > 0:03:19By doing this, we bypass our brains and paint a picture of our mood,

0:03:19 > 0:03:20like this.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Exquisite.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29I can see that I want to buy a new pair of shoes.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Shoes?- Precisely.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Now you try.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35I want you to find the inner you,

0:03:35 > 0:03:40then find the you that lives inside that you and get to know them.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Buy them a coffee, go for a pizza.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44What are we supposed to do?

0:03:44 > 0:03:45Go!

0:03:46 > 0:03:49METRONOME TICKS

0:03:57 > 0:03:59CLATTERING

0:03:59 > 0:04:00Time's up. Show your art.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07Exquisite.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10A miracle.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13You have all done marvellous work...

0:04:15 > 0:04:17..apart from you, Martin.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18I didn't have you down as a member

0:04:18 > 0:04:21of the counter-reactionary bourgeoisie,

0:04:21 > 0:04:22but you have set me straight.

0:04:24 > 0:04:25Stay behind and do it again.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40BELL RINGS

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Mr Nasal is on his way to spend break time

0:04:42 > 0:04:45with his girlfriend, Miss Spray.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Thank you very much. Bye.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Morning.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Who was that?

0:04:55 > 0:04:58The delivery man. He brought some new test tubes.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00What's wrong with the old test tubes?

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Nothing. You just asked me to order some more.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, I don't like the look of him.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09Anyway, are you ready to spend our break time together, Miss Spray?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12I can't today, Mr Nasal. I have to put these away.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14I'll see you at lunchtime.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17But, Miss Spray...

0:05:20 > 0:05:21Hmm...

0:05:21 > 0:05:23The delivery man...

0:05:23 > 0:05:25BELL RINGS

0:05:26 > 0:05:30After break, it's Citizenship with Counsellor Joy.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32Good morning to you. Welcome again.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Come in, take a seat.

0:05:35 > 0:05:36Welcome.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Right. Before we begin,

0:05:41 > 0:05:46I want you all to know that this is a safe space.

0:05:46 > 0:05:51We can say anything we want here and there are no wrong answers, OK?

0:05:52 > 0:05:56Right, so what topic are we going to discuss today?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Football.- No.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01But I thought you said there were no wrong answers.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Very funny, Billy. That's very funny indeed.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09But remember that, upside down, a smile is still a frown.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14Today, we're going to talk about voting.

0:06:14 > 0:06:15What is...

0:06:16 > 0:06:17..voting?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- I know, Miss.- Uh-uh-uh! Call me Joy.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Oh. OK, Joy. Voting is a way to determine the opinion

0:06:24 > 0:06:26of a group of people.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29No, I wouldn't have used those words myself, Tahj.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32I'd have said voting is a way to decide things

0:06:32 > 0:06:34when there's lots of people.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Another wrong answer, then.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40So, let's have our very own vote.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44Hands up who would like to spend this lesson doing the worksheets

0:06:44 > 0:06:46I made especially for today?

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Come on. Vote!

0:06:50 > 0:06:53I spent a very long time on these.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55No pressure.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57That's fine.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58That's fine.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01I'll just make a note of that to tell your parents

0:07:01 > 0:07:03on parents' evening.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06No, you don't want to do it. That's fine. That's fine.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Who votes that sometimes words can hurt?

0:07:11 > 0:07:16Who votes that kindness is wasted on the selfishness of others?

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Who votes that betrayal is worse when it is least expected?

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Oh! Oh, I see. Oh, we're all voting now.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25We can all vote now, right?

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Well, it's too late.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29It's too late!

0:07:29 > 0:07:33I'm sorry, children, but I need some time out in my safe space.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Whose turn is it to get her out?

0:07:44 > 0:07:46Come on, Joy.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47I'll do your worksheet.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Please?

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Citizenship is a surprisingly tricky subject.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56BELL RINGS

0:07:56 > 0:08:00The next lesson is Spanish with the one and only Juan.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02FLAMENCO MUSIC

0:08:02 > 0:08:04HE CLICKS STAPLER LIKE CASTANETS

0:08:06 > 0:08:07- SPANISH ACCENT:- Ole!

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Now, that's Spanish!

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Here we go again.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13You see how I entered the room

0:08:13 > 0:08:14like the Spanish bull -

0:08:14 > 0:08:16proud, strong...

0:08:16 > 0:08:18HE SNIFFS

0:08:18 > 0:08:20..a little bit whiffy?

0:08:20 > 0:08:23And now you see how I move my hips

0:08:23 > 0:08:27like the flamenco dancer doing the special guest appearance

0:08:27 > 0:08:29on the Strictly Come Dancing.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Ha-ha-ha!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Stand up. Sit down.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34That's Spanish.

0:08:34 > 0:08:38Sir, how do you say "thank you" in Spanish?

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Someone once asked me, "How do you say 'thank you' in Spanish?"

0:08:41 > 0:08:43My answer to them was this.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Put your hand on your heart.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Can you feel it?

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Everyone, do this.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Can you feel the beat?

0:08:56 > 0:08:59That is Spanish for anger, for love,

0:08:59 > 0:09:01and also for...

0:09:01 > 0:09:04"Excuse me, where is the nearest supermarket?"

0:09:04 > 0:09:06Is it Spanish for "thank you", too?

0:09:06 > 0:09:07No!

0:09:07 > 0:09:09That's gracias.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12It's a really complicated language.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Now it is time for my siesta.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16While I am asleep,

0:09:16 > 0:09:19I like you to practise the r-r-rolling of your Rs.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21R-r-r-r-r!

0:09:21 > 0:09:24You can just shake these instead.

0:09:24 > 0:09:25Buenas noches.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29R-r-r-r-r!

0:09:30 > 0:09:33In Spanish, r-rolling your Rs is...

0:09:33 > 0:09:37r-r-r-r-r...eally important.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39BELL RINGS

0:09:41 > 0:09:45Lunchtime, and Mr Nasal is finally going to spend some time

0:09:45 > 0:09:47with Miss Spray.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50- There you go. Nice to see you again.- You, too.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Afternoon.- Get out!

0:09:53 > 0:09:55And don't come back.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Mr Nasal, what on earth's gotten into you?

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Unbelievable!

0:10:00 > 0:10:01How could you, Miss Spray?

0:10:01 > 0:10:03How could I what?

0:10:03 > 0:10:05I saw the way you were looking at him through your safety goggles.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08You're in love with the delivery man.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11Don't be so silly, Mr Nasal.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Oh, and what gifts did he tempt you with this time?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16- HE GASPS - Hydrochloric acid!

0:10:16 > 0:10:18The way to any woman's heart.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21It's for the classroom, Mr Nasal. We ran out last week.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24I should have known I could never hold on to

0:10:24 > 0:10:25a wonderful woman like you.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27What are you talking about?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Oh, go on, just go.

0:10:29 > 0:10:34Well, if you're going to speak to me like that, I shall.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40And...if you're going to be so jealous all the time...

0:10:41 > 0:10:44..consider us over.

0:10:44 > 0:10:45Fine by me!

0:10:49 > 0:10:50HE SOBS QUIETLY

0:10:52 > 0:10:54While Mr Nasal suffers the consequences

0:10:54 > 0:10:56of his unfounded jealousy,

0:10:56 > 0:11:01Year Nine suffer the consequences of a lesson with Miss Fun-With-Numbers.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Hello, everybody.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Today we're going to be learning about shapes.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Will that be in our Sats, Miss?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Some of them are very difficult, but don't worry,

0:11:10 > 0:11:12I know just the person to help.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Look! - PUPILS SIGH

0:11:16 > 0:11:17It's Miss Keen!

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Say hello, then.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21PUPILS: Hello, Miss Keen.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Miss, we're a bit old for sock puppets.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28Shh! Don't let Miss Keen hear you say that.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Besides, she's not a puppet.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33She's a teaching assistant.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Isn't that right, Miss Keen?

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Have you got a shape for us, Miss Keen?

0:11:40 > 0:11:41She says yes.

0:11:44 > 0:11:45It's a triangle!

0:11:45 > 0:11:46It's a circle.

0:11:48 > 0:11:49Oh.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51I do apologise.

0:11:51 > 0:11:52Naughty Miss Keen!

0:11:53 > 0:11:54BELL RINGS

0:11:57 > 0:11:59There's just one more lesson to go -

0:11:59 > 0:12:02with improvisation expert Mr Christopher.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Improvisation is a key drama skill.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09I once worked my way round Europe doing street improv.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11I got as far as Calais.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15Right, guys, it's time for some improvisation, or improv,

0:12:15 > 0:12:16as we actors call it.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Abbreviation!

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Martin, I suggest you film this as, once it's been done,

0:12:21 > 0:12:22it cannot be recreated.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24So here's how this works.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26You shout out a location,

0:12:26 > 0:12:27an object and a person's name

0:12:27 > 0:12:31and I will completely make up or "improv" a song

0:12:31 > 0:12:33before your very eyes and ears.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35So, a location.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Your nan's house.- Your nan's toilet! - LAUGHTER

0:12:38 > 0:12:40What was that? The school?

0:12:40 > 0:12:41- No.- Yes, it was.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Now an object.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45- A banana.- The keyboard, you say?

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Good choice. Now a name.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Steve.- What's that? Mr Christopher?

0:12:50 > 0:12:51Oh, you guys!

0:12:51 > 0:12:54OK, here goes. Are you getting this, Martin?

0:12:54 > 0:12:56MUSIC STARTS

0:12:58 > 0:13:00# Mr Christopher is so cool

0:13:02 > 0:13:04# Mr Christopher rules the school

0:13:04 > 0:13:07# Mr C plays keyboard jazz

0:13:08 > 0:13:11# Mr C has showbiz pizzazz. #

0:13:11 > 0:13:15Aren't I amazing? I'm completely making this up as I go along.

0:13:15 > 0:13:16Sing along, everyone.

0:13:16 > 0:13:17# Mr Chris... #

0:13:17 > 0:13:19I said, sing along.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21# Mr Christopher is so cool... #

0:13:21 > 0:13:22PUPILS SING HALF-HEARTEDLY

0:13:22 > 0:13:27# Mr Christopher rules the schoo-ool!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30# Mr C plays keyboard ja-a-azz!

0:13:30 > 0:13:33# Mr C has showbiz pizzazz.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37# Mr C, Mr C, Mr Cee-eeee-eee!

0:13:37 > 0:13:39# Mr C, Mr C...

0:13:39 > 0:13:41# A-ta-kat-va! Oh, yeah!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43# Yeah, Martin, film on me

0:13:43 > 0:13:45# Martin, film on me, yeah

0:13:45 > 0:13:48# Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh... #

0:13:48 > 0:13:50You can't pay to see talent like that.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52BELL RINGS

0:13:53 > 0:13:55It's the end of the school day.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Miss Spray. Wait!

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Please stop.

0:14:00 > 0:14:01I'm sorry!

0:14:01 > 0:14:03That doesn't look good.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05And Mr Christopher's regretting his improv class.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08- Swimming pool!- Monster truck. Monster toilet!

0:14:08 > 0:14:09What is it with you and toilets?

0:14:09 > 0:14:13Stop it! Show's over! I can't just perform on the spot, you know.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15But I thought that's what improv was, sir.

0:14:15 > 0:14:16- T-rex.- Cabbage.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Cabbage toilet. - What is it with you and toilets?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Arrghh!- It's funny.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24# Mr Christopher is so cool

0:14:24 > 0:14:28# Mr Christopher rules the schoo-ool!

0:14:28 > 0:14:32# Mr C plays keyboard ja-a-azz

0:14:32 > 0:14:35# Mr C has showbiz pizzazz

0:14:35 > 0:14:38# Mr C, Mr C, Mr Cee-eeee-eee! #

0:14:38 > 0:14:40What can I say? I was born to perform.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42BELL RINGS