I'm a Teacher!

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is Dockbridge High - a school just like yours.

0:00:04 > 0:00:07For two years, our cameras have followed day-to-day life here.

0:00:07 > 0:00:09There have been highs and lows.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11Achoo!

0:00:11 > 0:00:14We returned for another year to find out how these talented teachers

0:00:14 > 0:00:19continue to excite and inspire a generation of young, eager minds

0:00:19 > 0:00:21at this most ordinary of schools.

0:00:21 > 0:00:22SHE SCREAMS

0:00:22 > 0:00:24This is...

0:00:27 > 0:00:29BELL RINGS

0:00:33 > 0:00:37It's Tuesday, and having spent all of last year being mistaken

0:00:37 > 0:00:42for a pupil, newly qualified teacher Miss Kinder isn't taking any risks.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46You can do this. You're a strong adult teacher.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Good morning, Alan.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50That's Mr Potter to you!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52But I'm a teacher!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Teachers call each other by their first names.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Not this nonsense again.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58- You are not a teacher!- I am!

0:00:58 > 0:01:02I am a teacher! I'm a grown adult teacher.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Look how tall I am.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Look at my extremely adult drink.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Get off the premises.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11- Now!- You can't make me.

0:01:13 > 0:01:17Fine. As an adult, I will leave with dignity.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22Ow!

0:01:22 > 0:01:25You may want to put on some more sensible adult shoes.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26Yes, Alan.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Mr Potter.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Did you hear that?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Mr Potter's first name is Alan.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Urgh, it always makes me feel a bit sick when you hear teachers'

0:01:35 > 0:01:38first names. It's like they're actually humans, or something.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42Like when you bump into one on the weekend and they're wearing jeans.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Urgh.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45BELL RINGS

0:01:45 > 0:01:50The day starts with drama, and head of arts, not including actual art,

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Mr Christopher, is in a particularly good mood.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Woo!

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Woo!

0:01:57 > 0:01:58Dance day!

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Ah! Woo! Ah!

0:02:01 > 0:02:05Now, today we're doing interpretive dance.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08You will each perform a dance representing an issue

0:02:08 > 0:02:15you feel strongly about, like polar bears or peer pressure or...

0:02:16 > 0:02:20..whatever. And I will assess you on whether I know what your dance

0:02:20 > 0:02:21is about.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25And remember, this is a safe space, guys, OK?

0:02:25 > 0:02:28No getting it wrong, no judging.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32Except for me judging you if you get it wrong.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33Billy, you're first.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Go!

0:02:44 > 0:02:45APPLAUSE

0:02:45 > 0:02:48Um, no, no! Do not applaud that.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Seriously, Billy, is everything OK?

0:02:50 > 0:02:54- Are you dancing about an illness you have?- No, sir.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56OK, benefit of the doubt.

0:02:57 > 0:03:01So were you dancing about an irrational fear of marbles?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03Or Brexit?

0:03:03 > 0:03:07No, it was the robot and then the worm. Did you not get that?

0:03:07 > 0:03:12OK, A, robot worms have nothing to do with issues.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15And, B, this is how you do a robot worm.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21CHILDREN GIGGLE

0:03:26 > 0:03:27That was amazing.

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Did you film that, Martin?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Um, no, sir.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Right, I'm not angry, Martin, I'm just disappointed.

0:03:34 > 0:03:35And angry.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Now, watch me, a professional, do my dance.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42So what's my issue?

0:03:42 > 0:03:43- Healthy eating!- No.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Your failed career as an actor.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47What?

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Oh! He's joking!

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Of course. But seriously, if I was showing you the dizzy heights

0:03:54 > 0:03:56of my career, it would look more like this.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Wow.

0:04:10 > 0:04:11Who's next?

0:04:11 > 0:04:13BELL RINGS

0:04:14 > 0:04:18The next lesson is maths, and after Mr Konnundrum left last term,

0:04:18 > 0:04:22Year 10 are hoping their new teacher will be just as nice.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28Can I please have some quiet in here!

0:04:31 > 0:04:37I do not stand for messing about, horseplay or any kind of

0:04:37 > 0:04:42shenanigans, and no talking!

0:04:42 > 0:04:45Do I make myself clear?!

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Yes, miss.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49- WHISPERS:- What did I just say?

0:04:50 > 0:04:53No speaking in class!

0:04:54 > 0:04:59Now, I read some of your maths homework from last year.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01- It was excellent! - CHILDREN GASP

0:05:02 > 0:05:07This class's grasp of geometry is fantastic!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Argh!

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Your maths skills are on the higher end of the scale

0:05:12 > 0:05:15expected of your year group!

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Now open page 21.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22I liked her.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25BELL RINGS

0:05:26 > 0:05:31Break time, and Mr Potter is doing every teacher's favourite activity -

0:05:31 > 0:05:33playground duty.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. - I'm here to fix the toilets.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Who booked you? - A party by the name of Kinder.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Shush!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Hang on.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- What is going on here? - I'm a teacher!

0:05:47 > 0:05:50If you're a teacher, why are you sneaking in?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Where's your pass? - I left it at home, sir.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Get off the premises, now!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00But I am a teacher!

0:06:03 > 0:06:04Put him down!

0:06:04 > 0:06:06BELL RINGS

0:06:06 > 0:06:09And now we head over to the 11.30 media studies lesson

0:06:09 > 0:06:12with professional news presenter, Naga Munchetty.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Now, when the school approached me about coming in,

0:06:15 > 0:06:17I thought they just wanted me to do a talk.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19I didn't expect to be taking lessons.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22And I wouldn't have stayed, but this place, it's full of

0:06:22 > 0:06:24juicy news stories.

0:06:24 > 0:06:28We're live on air in five, four, three...

0:06:39 > 0:06:42This is media studies. In today's news...

0:06:42 > 0:06:43BONG!

0:06:43 > 0:06:46..Callum Wexford's verruca finally clears up.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49BONG!

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Billy hopes to get away with yet another silent burp.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54BONG! CHILDREN GASP

0:06:54 > 0:06:58And in today's top story, popular schoolboy Mark is exposed

0:06:58 > 0:07:00as a little liar.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05To tell us more, we can go to our roving reporter, Lydia Pryor.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Lydia, what more can you tell us?

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Well, Naga, earlier this morning, Mark left classes to attend

0:07:14 > 0:07:17what he described as his oboe lesson.

0:07:17 > 0:07:21But witnesses reported seeing him hanging out with his mates.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24I'm here on the scene to find out more.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Mark, what have you got to say about the allegations that you've been

0:07:27 > 0:07:30- bunking off? - Who are you? What's going on?

0:07:30 > 0:07:33- It's not the first time you've bunked off, is it?- I...

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Do you even know what an oboe is?

0:07:35 > 0:07:37I... It's like...

0:07:37 > 0:07:40Earlier, we spoke to a family member who agreed to speak to us

0:07:40 > 0:07:43as long as we protected her identity.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Mark, bunking off?

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Oh! My Marky wouldn't do that!

0:07:48 > 0:07:49That's not my son!

0:07:51 > 0:07:52You told my mum!

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Oh, my days!

0:07:54 > 0:07:56Yeah, yeah, I know, detention.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58- And there we...- She's not my mum.

0:08:01 > 0:08:05And there we have it, another criminal behind bars.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Thank you, Lydia. Well, you heard it here first.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11This is Naga Munchetty, reporting for Dockbridge High.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12Goodnight.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19That's a wrap, everyone. Great show today, guys.

0:08:19 > 0:08:20Well done.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22BELL RINGS

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Lunchtime, and having been exposed for bunking off,

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Mark's serving time in isolation.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Hiya! I'm Tammy.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Right. Hey.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38I'm here because I talked back to teacher in 1989.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Oh, yeah! I heard about you.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44What did you do?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Nothing much, bunked off some lessons. Got caught, innit?

0:08:46 > 0:08:48You're so naughty!

0:08:48 > 0:08:50I like a bad boy.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55What sort of girls do you go for?

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Like, long hair.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Mm-hm.- Like, girls with attitude, I suppose.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05Yep!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Older girls are cool.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Well, I've been here since 1989. I don't even know how old I am.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17Right, there is one girl, yeah. I really like her,

0:09:17 > 0:09:19but I don't know how to ask her out.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Yes, I will be your girlfriend for ever, ever and ever!

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Eee!

0:09:24 > 0:09:26I was talking about Marcella from Year 13.

0:09:26 > 0:09:27You got that, right?

0:09:29 > 0:09:32Can you keep it down, please? We're actually in isolation.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38And then we made up and now I'm his girlfriend.

0:09:38 > 0:09:39She's not my girlfriend.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41I am your girlfriend!

0:09:41 > 0:09:43- She's not.- He's so funny!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47BELL RINGS

0:09:50 > 0:09:54After lunch, Miss Davis is filling the air with her creativity,

0:09:54 > 0:09:55as she covers art.

0:09:57 > 0:10:02Today, we're going to be making lovely bowls out of paper mache.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Now, start by taking the sheets of paper in front of you.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09All you need is to tear one out.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11PHH-RRT-TT! CHILDREN GROAN

0:10:11 > 0:10:14You'll need to divide the paper into long, thin strips,

0:10:14 > 0:10:16so get right in there and rip one off.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18PHH-RRT-TT!

0:10:18 > 0:10:19Keep shredding them, one after another.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21PHH-RRT-TT! PHH-RRT-TT!

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Miss, please could I open the window?

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Oh, no, Jasmine! You don't want a sudden gust of WIND...

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- PHH-RRT-TT! - ..disturbing your art.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36Now, take a strip of paper and dunk it in your paper mache mix.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Now give it a good squeeze out.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41PHH-RRT-TT!

0:10:41 > 0:10:43You don't want any lumps!

0:10:43 > 0:10:45- PHH-RRT-TT! - Oh, that's awful!

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I need to get some air!

0:10:47 > 0:10:50What are they creating such a stink about?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52PHH-RRT-TT!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57- It's just gross.- ALL:- Yeah.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59- It's so unprofessional. - I totally agree.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01PHH-RRT-TT!

0:11:01 > 0:11:02She must be nearby.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06That was one of mine, actually.

0:11:06 > 0:11:07BELL RINGS

0:11:07 > 0:11:10History next, and Year Ten's teacher, Miss Kinder,

0:11:10 > 0:11:13seems to have finally made it into the school.

0:11:13 > 0:11:18- Weird kid!- Hello, class. Time for me to teach your lesson,

0:11:18 > 0:11:20because I am your teacher.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21So, today...

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Get out!

0:11:22 > 0:11:25You are trespassing on school property!

0:11:25 > 0:11:26But I'm a teacher!

0:11:28 > 0:11:29CHILDREN GIGGLE

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- CHILDREN CHANT:- Weird kid, weird kid, weird kid!

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I'll be back, because I am a teacher!

0:11:36 > 0:11:37Bye, weird kid.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41BELL RINGS

0:11:41 > 0:11:44The last lesson of the day is Spanish, and teacher

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Senor Juan Castaneta welcomes the pupils

0:11:47 > 0:11:50in the traditional Spanish way.

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Ay, ay, ay!

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Ay!

0:11:53 > 0:11:57That was Spanish for "take your seats and get ready to learn".

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Here now, people always ask me,

0:11:59 > 0:12:05"Senor, Juan Castaneta, what does it mean to be Spanish?"

0:12:05 > 0:12:09And I tell them, "This."

0:12:09 > 0:12:12- A tomato?- This is not a tomato.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17Well, technically, it is. But it is so much more than that!

0:12:17 > 0:12:19It is alive!

0:12:19 > 0:12:21It is love! It is passion!

0:12:23 > 0:12:28You know, every year in Spain, we have a festival to celebrate

0:12:28 > 0:12:30the tomato.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33By throwing them at each other!

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:12:36 > 0:12:41You, little girl, throw this at me.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Come on.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Don't be scared.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Oh!

0:12:45 > 0:12:46Oh!

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Argh!

0:12:48 > 0:12:49I'm OK!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Not bad.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54But we need more tomatoes.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Here, take some tomatoes and pass them back. Vamos!

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Three, two, one!

0:13:05 > 0:13:07Ay, ay, ay! Ay, ay, ay! Ah!

0:13:09 > 0:13:11CHILDREN LAUGH

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Now, that's Spanish.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Ole!

0:13:24 > 0:13:25BELL RINGS

0:13:28 > 0:13:32It's home time, and deputy head Mr Potter is keen to make sure

0:13:32 > 0:13:35that's exactly where Miss Kinder goes.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36Now get out of my school!

0:13:36 > 0:13:37But I'm a teacher!

0:13:39 > 0:13:41School's over, out you go!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43PHH-RRT-TT! CHILDREN GROAN

0:13:48 > 0:13:51# Sisters are doin' it for themselves

0:13:53 > 0:13:55# Standin' on their own two feet

0:13:57 > 0:13:59# And ringin' on their own bells

0:14:02 > 0:14:05# Sisters are doin' it for themselves. #